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The Blessed Realm	By : susanna Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Naruto, his friends and the world he lives in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I write this story only for my pleasure and I don't make any money with it.

Chapter List
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Chapter
Forty-Seven: Sasuke messes up twice

Naruto
did his best to be rational about the fact that Sasuke was obviously
gay. He did his best to accept what he could no longer deny: That one
day Sasuke would leave him and have sex with one of these gay men.
Yet the images kept turning up in his mind, and they remained
disturbing: Sasuke completely naked, being touched by one or the
other of them. No longer the guy from Earth Country or his husband,
as Naruto had understood now that they loved each other and did not
dream of seducing Sasuke, nor any other of the men of their
tournament class, whom Naruto had come to like. He preferred their
loose acquaintances for these fantasies, men he knew from dance teas
or free training, and often the men who molested Sasuke had no faces
at all, or were just hands, touching him all over, and suddenly the
hands were his own and he realized that he had been masturbating for
quite some time.

He
sat up and looked at Sasuke who was lying next to him, sleeping
peacefully, and he had to force himself not to plunge himself into
these fantasies again.

Sasuke
might like it, he told himself while he washed his face with cold
water. My hands, not anyone else's: He was well aware that Sasuke
preferred him to the other men. It was a new and strange idea to be
liked that way – Sakura would never have wanted to be touched
by him, and he doubted that Hinata, who had claimed to be in love
with him, would have wanted his hands on her body.

It
was fortunate that Sasuke woke up so that Naruto had to stop his
musings for now.

In
the meantime Sasuke was suffering. He was suffering even worse than
when he had been firmly convinced that Naruto was straight so that
his love would remain unrequited and having some fun dancing with him
before they got back to Konoha was all he could hope for. Now Naruto
was dressing up and asked how he looked and cared about his opinion -
Sasuke had managed to convince him to go shopping a second time, now
with him as advisor, and buy some more tight, sleeveless shirts –
and he offered to embrace him. But then Sasuke reminded himself that
both Naruto's embraces and his habit of laying his arm around
Sasuke's shoulders were well within the limits of what was normal
between friends, and when they had been buying clothes Naruto had
kept asking whether a piece of clothing would not make him look
girly.

Not
knowing whether to hope or despair Sasuke sought comfort and
encouragement from the other gay men. When Naruto dropped his guard
(mostly when he discussed football) Sasuke was free to talk to them
without Naruto listening, and he'd ask them whether it was possible
that a person changed their sexual orientation (one of the new words
Sasuke had learnt in Music Town). He was told that it was impossible,
but also that a number of them had realized that they were gay only
when they had been well beyond puberty, denying their attraction to
men even to themselves and doing their best to be normal and feel
something for women. It was what Juugo's mothers had already told
him, yet during these days he needed to hear it again and again from
as many people as possible.

“My
husband knew that he was attracted to men by the time he was
fourteen”, the partner of the guy from Earth Country told him.
“When he was sixteen he heard that in Music Town gay people did
not have to hide and came here. For him it was men in general. I
however had always considered myself straight, but not really
interested in sex, and my girl-friends did not mind, they even
appreciated that I was not as fixated on sex as their previous lovers
had been. It was only occasionally that I thought that this or that
guy was rather good-looking. But when I met him it was no longer
thinking that he was rather handsome, nor was it mere sexual
attraction: My whole soul was in flames, and all I longed for was to
be near him, and be touched by the light that seemed to emanate from
him. With him I knew from the beginning that he was special, and he
seemed to change me from the core of my soul. It took me some time to
realize that what he really did was touch the core of my soul, which
I used to hide in the presence of other people, bringing it to the
light. I had to understand that this core was myself, not him, and
that I had to remain myself if I wanted to be with him.”

The
words went well over Sasuke's head. “I've always known that
Naruto is special”, he answered, responding to what he
understood, watching Naruto, who was explaining the causes of Inner
Center's spectacular defeat at last Saturday's match. Then it occured
to him that the real problem lay elsewhere.

“Do
you think that he might think me special too?” he asked.

The
man shrugged. “He seems quite attached to you.”

“Yeah,
he's clingy. Sometimes it gets annoying. But that's not the same as
thinking I'm special.”

“He
doesn't seem too eager to find a girl”, the man continued.

Sasuke
considered it. “He's in love with a girl from Konoha”, he
said.

“Not
the one he wants to marry you?”

“Yes
that's the one”, Sasuke answered, surprised that the man knew
about Sakura. He saw the man cringing. “But I'm not interested
in girls. I never was. When we return to Konoha she will have to
accept it, and then she'll turn her heart to Naruto and marry him.”

“And
you?”

“I'll
die.”

Sasuke
said it in a rather casual tone: He had got used to this idea a long
time ago. He did not care whether he died as long as it was after
getting his revenge. The man however was shocked.

“You
don't die”, he said, laying his arms around Sasuke. “That
would be stupid, dying just because the first guy you happen to set
your eyes upon happens to be straight.” He turned him left and
right to make him look around. “Naruto's not the only
good-looking guy in the world.”

Sasuke
looked to the ground, feeling embarrassed. When he looked up again
his eyes met Naruto's, and Naruto was obviously not happy with what
he saw. Sasuke shook off the man's arm and went over to Naruto.

“What
was that?” Naruto asked, laying his arm around Sasuke in his
turn.

“He
was comforting me, that was all. I told him of our plans for when we
return to Konoha. You will marry Sakura and I will die.”

“You
won't die”, Naruto said, caressing Sasuke's shoulder. He felt
the need to brush off the other man's touch. “And anyway, you
have me to comfort you, you don't need anyone else.”

He
returned to explaining why the decisions of Inner Center's coach
during the last match had all turned out wrong.

“Naruto”,
Sasuke asked. “Do you think I'm special?”

Naruto
looked surprised and annoyed, being interrupted in his conversation
about football. “You are more conceited and arrogant than other
people, that's all that's special about you”, he said.

Sasuke
felt hurt, but Naruto didn't care, he had to contradict one of the
other men who insisted that it was not the coach's fault but that the
players had grown lazy and showed a lack of ambition. When Naruto
discussed football he did not give much thought to anything else.

He
did not give much thought either to Sasuke's desire to learn Tango
Argentino. However, when he once was on his own in the community
center and happened to come upon a group of dancers in one of the
seminar rooms he decided to take measures of his own.

So
he was prepared when Sasuke announced that he had enregisted the two
of them to a seminar of Tango Argentino that taught a style
specifically created for same sex couples, meaning that the roles of
leader and follower changed throughout the dance.

“I've
enregistered us to a dance class too”, Naruto replied. “It's
called Rock 'n' Roll. It's a real sport, and includes acrobatics.
That's a way of dancing that's appropriate for ninjas.”

Sasuke
was surprised: He would not have thought that Naruto would initiate
some dancing by himself. He agreed, of course, and they just had to
make sure that the two seminars were not at the same time.

“I
have also considered what you said about being ninjas”, he
continued. “I've done some research and found out about what's
called Martial Arts here. It's quite similar to our taijutsu. I've
found a dojo we can use for training.”

Now
Naruto was surprised. He had nothing against some training with
Sasuke (in fact he longed to show him how good he had become), still
he wondered what Sasuke was intending: Dancing kept him distracted
from his desire for revenge, but practising ninjutsu might remind him
of it again. Also there was another problem.

“Is
it not expensive?” he asked.

“I
was able to make a deal”, Sasuke said. “We teach a group
of kids, and in exchange we get permission to use the dojo for free.”

“You
think you can teach a group of kids?”

“Yes.
Why not?”

“You
don't know anything about kids.”

“I
used to be one myself.”

“Kids
here are different.”

“They're
still kids. Are you with me or not?”

“I
am”, Naruto answered, sighing. “Just to make sure that
you don't mess up.”

Sasuke
felt hurt but he didn't answer. There was no time for being offended
anyway; they intended to watch the movie Naruto had rented from the
shop for gay people. They carried the TV-set and the DVD-player
upstairs, and then it took them some time to connect the two devices,
as they were not familiar with modern technology. They managed,
eventually, and got themselves some drinks and a bag of crisps, as
they had heard that this was what you did when you watched TV. They
sat down on the bed, Naruto played with the remote control, while
Sasuke moved nearer to him so that their shoulders touched. He looked
at Naruto, who smiled, and Sasuke felt encouraged to lay his arm
around Naruto's shoulders – there was nothing wrong with it,
was it: Naruto was doing it all the time to him.

Naruto
leant against him, still focussing on the remote control and trying
to figure out how it worked. Finally he managed to start the movie.

It
was set in one of the countries beyond the mountains, beyond the
desert, beyond the sea that had never heard of the ninja nations and
that were vice versa not known in the ninja countries, except for
Music Town that was more open-minded. Prejudice against gay men ran
high in that place, they were considered weak, unmanly, promiscuous
and unnatural. They had to hide that they were gay, and only met in
clubs or even in some corner of a park in the night, sometimes hidden
from the authorities, sometimes known to them and tolerated, but not
officially approved.

The
movie featured a couple who fell in love, and it made a point of
stating that they were serious about their love and not just looking
for some quick pleasure, as the cliché of the time claimed. It
showed the difficulties they faced just finding opportunities to see
each other, not to speak of situations where they could actually make
out (they did not have sex in the movie.) It showed their efforts to
hide their relationship from their family and their acquaintances,
and Naruto felt with them and was angry at all those who refused to
recognize the seriousness of their love.

After
some time the pressure increased: New laws were passed that forbade
homosexuality and set longer terms in prison as punishment. One of
the lovers broke and agreed to marry a young woman while the other
despaired and began to act recklessly until he was caught and
convicted. Naruto suffered with him, his heart aching from his
lover's betrayal, and he leant more heavily against Sasuke and
clutched his hands. He felt relieved when the other lover remembered
their love and sought out his friend in prison to plea for him –
prison life was hard, and the man's health was failing. It did not
work out, however: Not only did they not release the first lover, but
also they were overcome by their passion and got caught, and this
time it was death penalty for both of them.

By
the time the movie ended Naruto was crying, and he felt all stiff and
tense with emotion. Sasuke caressed his shoulder and his hands,
trying to comfort him. He himself had managed to retain some distance
from the movie, getting annoyed at clichés and particularly
getting annoyed that five minutes of the movie had been reserved for
the wedding night of the guy who had married a woman, while the two
men themselves had only been shown kissing. (By now he longed to know
how lovers had sex with each other, as opposed to the sex he had
watched between Kabuto and Orochimaru.) Also he enjoyed holding
Naruto in his arms and comforting him far too much to feel sad for
the guys in the movie, and besides, he thought it was all their own
fault: Why did one of them marry a woman, and the other have sex
with men he wasn't in love with?

Still
he was affected by the movie but not by its personal moments. The
fact that gay men had not only been despised and ostracized but also
actively hunted down and even convicted to death, not for any crime
but for loving each other, had been new to him. But then he knew
nothing about places beyond the ninja countries, and not much about
the ninja countries themselves either.

He
would have been prosecuted in these places too, he thought, not for
being an Uchiha but for being gay. It was an oddly satisfying thought
– satisfying because it confirmed him in his anger against the
world that had been intent on excluding him and his people from its
soil. (Not Music Town, however. He excluded Music Town and its
inhabitants from his grudge.) Also it gave him a sense of connection
to other gay people everywhere, even though he had been prosecuted
for being an Uchiha, not for being gay. They'd been hated for
nothing, he thought, and he was glad to be one of them.

Naruto
had still not moved, except that he was caressing Sasuke's hand that
held his own hands.

“Next
time we'll choose a movie with a happy ending”, Sasuke said.

“Yeah”,
Naruto answered, sitting up and slowly recovering from his sadness.
“You won't leave me again, will you?`”

“I
won't”, Sasuke answered, feeling confused. He was gay and
Naruto was straight, wasn't he? He got up to make some tea for the
two of them, not without caressing Naruto's shoulder. When the water
was boiling he understood what Naruto had referred to and why he had
been that strongly affected by the movie. “I will stay with
you”, he said. “You have promised me to find a way to
avenge my family, haven't you?”

Naruto
nodded. His thoughts returned to the movie, and the ideas it
conferred about gay men.

“This
place the movie was about”, he began, “it was quite
similar to the larger towns of the ninja countries, actually. Not
Music Town, of course, where gay people make out on the lawn just as
anyone else, but like the capitals of Fire Country or Wind Country.
Gay people there meet in bars and clubs just as in the movie.”

Sasuke
listened interestedly. He had never been to any of the larger cities
and had no idea about gay life there, but he had read about it: “In
the magazine you bought it was said that Danzou closed the one gay
bar that existed in Konoha.”

“Oh,
did he?” Naruto said. He was not in a mood to discuss Danzou's
actions at the moment, nor to listen to Sasuke's reproaches that he
had not made any progress with finding a plan for his revenge. “I
was not aware that there were any gay bars in Konoha. Anyway, on my
journeys with Jiraiya we sometimes went to these bars in order to
collect information. They were good sources normally, as drunk people
tend to be careless about what they say, and also gay people are not
very patriotic. Now I understand why: They have no reason to be
patriotic if the state persecutes them.”

“In
Music Town they are as patriotic as anyone else”, Sasuke
replied.

“People
here aren't patriotic at all”, Naruto said. “They don't
have to, as Music Town is too small to be taken seriously by anyone.
The only thing people are patriotic for here are their football
clubs.” He thought about it. “Actually gay people support
their teams just as anyone else. So it's true perhaps that they are
not unpatriotic by nature.”

Sasuke,
who had been eager to defend both gay people and the inhabitants of
Music Town, was content. He considered some further implications of
what Naruto had said: “You mean you went to gay bars with
Jiraiya when you were a kid?” He wondered what Naruto might
have seen there: Maybe it had been just as bad as what he had watched
between Orochimaru and Kabuto. “Were you allowed there?”

“Jiraiya
bribed the cashiers”, Naruto said. “He always warned me,
however, telling me that these gay men always thought about sex,
which struck me as strange as Jiraiya always thought about sex too.”

He
considered it. “I guess I was completely naive then. I did not
understand that Jiraiya was warning me that they might take an
interest in me. I thought them just funny, even though Jiraiya's
ideas about them being weak and effeminate had made an impact on me.
Actually I had no idea what being gay was about, not even when I saw
the men kissing. After some time Jiraiya stopped taking me with him
to these bars. People had given him funny looks, I think. But on one
day he made me stay with a couple of friends of his so that he might
collect information, though in reality he went to meet one of his
female acquaintances. It was weird first to listen to his list of bad
character traits and then see him greet them as old friends.”

Sasuke
shifted in his chair. This could get interesting.

“They
were quite nice however. We did some cooking together, then we ate
what we had cooked, and when we had put the dishes into the
dish-washing machine we played a board game.”

He
grew melancholic. “Actually it was the closest thing to family
life I ever had. I could not believe that they were as weird as
Jiraiya had said, so I asked them whether they really enjoyed fucking
other men in their ass.”

Sasuke
remembered that Naruto had never known which questions he should
rather not ask.

“They
asked me who had given me this information, and then told me to ask
Jiraiya whether he enjoyed to fuck women in their ass. Then they
explained to me that being gay was not about having sex but about
falling in love with other men. To long for someone with all your
heart, to be in heaven when he's with you, and despair when he is far
away, and to care for him and make his wellbeing the most important
aim of your life.”

He
remembered how he had thought of Sasuke when he had heard these words
back then, longing more for him than he had ever longed for Sakura.
He would not tell this Sasuke now, however, who was waiting eagerly
for the continuation of the story. He would not tell him how his
heart had reached out to him when he had heard the men's words, how
he had longed to be near him again. He still longed for him, even
though he was with him now, only at a few metres' distance, looking
rather impatient. He'd just have to get up and bridge the little
distance that was still between them, embrace him, kiss him, become
so close to him that nothing would separate them any more.

“But
they had sex too, hadn't they?” Sasuke asked, interrupting
Naruto's fantasies.

“Well,
yes, they had”, Naruto answered, rather annoyed. Sasuke's
question had scattered all his romantic feelings, and the warmth that
had engulfed him. “At least they told me so when I asked them”

Sasuke
looked satisfied, and Naruto was even more annoyed.

“Let's
get the TV-set downstairs”, he said.

A/N:

Sneakyfox:
Thanks again for your review! No need to worry... It was rumba where
they changed roles, and all the other „Latin“ dances
(Paso Doble, Samba, Cha-Cha and Jive) and with these dances it's
always the woman (erm, the person who follows) who has to do all the
figures. Tango Argentino is a more silent dance, but still the person
who follows has the more complicated steps.

Lady
O: Thanks for the compliments! Feedback to a story seems to
follow strange patterns. I get more plusses for this story than my
previous one, but less reviews. At ff.net however I get more reviews
than I got for my previous story. All in all I am quite content with
the reception of my story. You are not the first person to tell me
that my story is rather original, so I guess that it will never be
among the top stories. I am happy with having some 300 hundred
readers here and some other 300 readers over at ff.net.

Well,
and yes, one of the „core ideas“ of my story is that a
place like our world would seem like a utopia to our ninjas. Of
course Music Town is a bit idealized, but I think that most places in
our world, even places that are really bad, are better than the ninja
world.

Stella
Mourir: Thanks for the compliments! Yes, sometimes I feel quite
annoyed with the canon too. Then I tell myself that I am not
dependent on Kishimoto, and that I don't need him to tell me about
good and evil, and that if the plot of his story annoys me (I was
really angry when Danzou died, as I would have liked him as final
villain) I am still free to write my own story with a plot that I
like. But the most recent chapter was actually to my liking (though I
still prefer my own version, chapter 21 of this story, „Danzou
again!“)
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