Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

A Crafty Chameleon	By : Blackkitten23 Category: Naruto > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 28015 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any anime OR anything and I don't make a profit off of my stories

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
(I'm thinking)
"I'm speaking"
"Demon / summon / ghost speaking" 
(Demon / summon / ghost thinking) 
/Author's comments;
Pairing: Harem – Naruto x OC 'Dan' / Ranmaru /
Last Time:
What is the village hidden in the leaves in for?
XXXXXXXXXX
Mayhem, chaos, disorder, havoc, bedlam, pandemonium, tumult, uproar, turmoil, commotion, all hell broken loose, trouble, disturbance, insanity, madness, madhouse, and even maelstrom.
It really doesn't matter what word or phrase you use cause there isn't anything that can fully comprehend the current state of Konoha ...
One district had all it's plumbing tweaked so that sewage came out of every faucet and shower. That district was the farthest away from Mina ... he didn't want to risk Mina smelling that crap ...
The rest of the village was coverd in paint and glue bombs, every single civilian was either a colorful mess or stuck together in a big sticky ball of people ...
The food in the ninja compounds was spiked with a strong tasteless laxative ...
The soap in the Hyuga compound was laced with itching powder ...
The the anbu headquarters was rigged with sticky paint bombs in a lovely assortment of neon colors and feather traps ...
Nearly every bottle of shampoo was replaced with some strange glittery dye that was permanent ...
The clothes of all the ninja clan members were stolen and the garments that were left were frilly dresses, skirts, tutus and costumes - bunnies, chickens, maids, fairies, ect ...
It was bad!
XXXXXXXXXX
The newly instated fourth hokage was in the council chambers wearing a red demon costume with sparkly pink hair and stomach pains as he listened to the council members bitch.
"Hokage-sama you have to stop him!" yelled a lime green haired Hiashi Hyuga who was wearing a orange strapless dress and scratching nonstop.
Danzo and Hiruzen casually strolled into the council chambers looking relaxed and refreshed. They burst into laughter the second they saw the ridiculous outfits ...
Shibi Aburame was in a fairy costume with orange hair ...
Tsume Inuzuka was wearing a bunny costume with bright blue hair ...
Choza, Inoichi and Shikaku were wearing pink tutus and seemed to be having problems with their stomachs ..
and the civilians smelled like shit ...
Tsume snapped "would you stop laughing and get your brat under control"
Hiruzen glared "tell me, is Naruto a highly skilled monster or the deadlast of the academy? You can only pick one and if he isn't the monster you all treated him as then how could the deadliest accomplish something of this scale?"
Everyone now knew that he wasn't a demon, but if he didn't do it then who did? Danzo and Hiruzen mentally smirked, they couldn't believe that rational worked!
"fine, but what do you mean 'treated him like a monster'? We never did anything of the sort" said a civilian council member.
Danzo smirked "my ROOT agents have been investigating you all for years and I gave all of the information to Minato."
Another council member stood up and yelled "you bastard, it wasn't our fault, we didn't know and you hated him too"
"getting into your circle of trust was the only reason I pretended to hate Naruto, I even taped some of our conversations and hokage-sama ..." Minato looked at Danzo "you haven't asked me how I sustained my injuries" he gestured to his bandaged right arm and right eye "on Naruto's seventh birthday, one villager decided to give Naruto a gift and right after that villager became drunk and stated boasting about the special gift ... he was boasting to me and the gift was a bomb ... I managed to find Naruto and throw myself on top of him ... he never accepted any gifts from the villagers after that"
All the council members hung their heads, they were filled with shame and guilt ... and what was worst, they couldn't talk their way out of it.
Minato glared at each council member "yes, thank you for that information. It will help me decide their punishments, but first ..."
Everybody clutched their stomach and raced out of the room and ran towards the restrooms.
"did they make it?" asked Hiruzen who was holding a camera.
Danzo looked down the hall and cringed "almost"
XXXXXXXXXX
Orochimaru watched Naruto put all his weapons and supplies into his storage seals.
22 guns with 50 rounds of ammunition, 500 kunai, 500 shuriken, 30 grenades, 10 flares, medical kit, a torture kit from Anko, 9000 senbon needles, sealing ink with paper, 6 swords, a staff, 4 types of poisons, 50 lbs of C4 explosives and Danzo's recent birthday gift ... a missile launcher complete with 10 missiles.
and that was only his jacket. Naruto has hidden seals on his entire body!
Yes, Naruto was a walking army ... an army with issues.
Danzo and Hiruzen came in laughing their heads off "HA HA HA Naruto that prank was awesome, I got some pictures"
The snake sage eagerly scanned the pictures "OH MY GOD is that Shibi! This is the best prank yet" he laughed.
"why thank you! I was going for a Ferngully vibe with the Aburames"
Danzo looked at the blonde's new outfit which was black anbu pants, black combat boots that had switchblades hidden in the toes, black muscle shirt, black fingerless gloves with brass knuckles and the camouflage print trench coat that went to his ankles.
"these clothes definitely suit you more ... oh I have your goggles, modified with a wireless communication so I can contact you about missions, but don't hesitate to use your chameleons if there's a problem"
Naruto took the goggles and placed them on his head "got it, thanks Opa"
A knock at the door caught everyone's attention and Orochimaru opened it to reveal a pink and green anbu covered in feathers "the hokage wishes to see you Naruto Namik-" the anbu froze in fear as a wave of killer intent hit him.
Hiruzen glared "there is no Namikaze here, only Sarutobis, try again"
The colorful chicken anbu was shaking "I-I'm s-sorry, I m-meant Naruto Sarutobi"
Naruto smirked "why didn't you say so?"
XXXXXXXXXX
Naruto was guided by his feathery escort into the council chambers ... which seemed very empty "wow, it seems so clean and fresh in here as if all" he looks at Minato "most of the evil was banished from this dwelling, did you redecorate or perform an exorcism, hokage-sama?"
"show some respect" said the anbu as he shoved Naruto making the blonde flinch. Well, actually that shove didn't hurt, Naruto just flinched to see how Minato would react ... it wasn't pretty.
The anbu was shaking under a terrifying aura of killing intent from Minato "respect is earned, care to guess what you and the hokage earned from me so far? It starts with m 'Con' and ends with 'tempt'" said Naruto
Minato flinched and dismissed the anbu "to answer your question Naruto I disbanded the council and I'm sorry about everything ... we really thought you were being taken care"
"why?"
The hokage blinked "huh?"
Naruto shrugged "why did you think I was being cared for? Were you getting reports or letters or something? Was someone giving you updates?"
Minato frowned "no, we-"
"were just assuming ... you know what they say about assumptions, they make an ASS out of U and ME ... I'm leaving, I need to get to the academy for team assignments"
The older blonde stood up "wait I wanted to tell you about the punishments, I'm having Ibiki go through everyone's memories and having them go through what they did to you ... is that alright with you?"
The ROOT agent scoffed "sure now you ask how I feel? yeah it's fine, it's their own memories so why would I care? Will you be doing- ... oh wait you have no memories of my life" Minato felt like he was stabbed by that comment "tell you what, I'll give you and the others some memories"
The hokage blinked "what do you mean?"
A smirk appeared on Naruto's lips "simple, it is your fault I have these memories so you should see what you've done, I want you, Kushina, Karin and Mito to see two weeks of my memories and while your watching I want you to count ... you'll be counting phrases, I'll tell Ibiki your phrases, is this something you'd agree to?"
Minato nodded "Arashi too?" the hokage winced, he didn't mean to mention him.
(so Jiji was right, he is here ... interesting) "who's Arashi?"
The cold glare Naruto was giving him made the hokage flinch "your older brother"
A bitter laugh escaped Naruto's lips "you people are like rats, you see one and you know there's 20 more hiding some where skulking around ... yes him too" with that Naruto left a saddened Minato to his thoughts.
XXXXXXXXXX
Naruto went into the class and saw Natsu smiling at him "Hi Naruto, would you like to sit with me?" the orange haired twin asked hopefully.
"yeah sure" he walked past all the other students who looked confused ... either because they thought he failed or because of his new outfit ... and took the seat next to Natsu. He refused to be unreasonable, he won't hold what Minato and the others did against Natsu and Mina.
Kiba sauntered over "hey you must be Natsu, right? Nice to meet, you know Naruto and I are good friends"
The ROOT agent sighed "no we aren't, he just used me as a scapegoat for his lame pranks. I have no friends in the academy"
The dog nin twitched "come on man, lighten up. Thanks to your Dad your a ninja now so cheer up"
"my father is in the research department, he has no power in that regard. If you are referring to Minato then you are stupid since that would be impossible without a time machine. I earned my head band after the exam 10 days before Minato's arrival. Now as I said before I have no friends here so leave"
Kiba frowned "I do want be friends-"*bang* the entire class jumped and saw Kibe clutch his bloody cheek and wailed in pain.
Naruto was holding a gun and watched the blood flow out of the gash "no, you only want to suck up to me and try to make yourself feel better about the way you treated me. The only connection we will have is missions. I have no interest in shallow two-faced friends like you. Now I hate wasting ammo so that's the only warning shot. Go, or the next one lands between your eyes"
The cold look in Naruto's eyes said that he was serious so a frightened Kiba backed off and every person stayed frozen in their seats. Natsu was shaken, but he couldn't blame his brother for fighting back now after everything.
The next person to come through the door was Sasuke and his fangirls, Ino and Sakura ... with one oddity. Sakura walked right past Sasuke and up to Naruto who was regretting putting his gun away.
The pinkette shifted nervously "umm Naruto I was wondering if you were still interested in a date"
A sigh escaped the blonde's lips, he stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders "Sakura the second I saw you I knew that pretending to like you was what I needed to make me look even more like an idiot and less threatening thereby avoiding many beatings, you were actually useful ... Oh, I also started batting for the other team because of you, even though you never had any intention of helping me I thank you for your help" the pink haired girl's jaw dropped.
Naruto sat back down and completely ignored the stunned looks on everyone's faces. They were all hoping that getting his 'crush' would get them off the hook, but if he never even liked Sakura what do they do now?
Iruka came in and made some speech then started listing off the teams "... Team 7 is Naruto Sarutobi, Natsu Namikaze, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha with Kakashi Hatake and Kushina Namikaze as their senseis"
The ROOT ninja got out of his seat and stood in front of Iruka "Iruka, would say you owe me after a certain incident?" the chunin instructor nodded "good, would you please kill me?" he handed the raven a kunai that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
Iruka shook his head "I'm sorry, I don't kill comrades even if it would be an act of mercy"
"does that night we shared mean nothing to you?i Is it because of me? You can be on top next time" the blonde pleaded for his death.
"no Naruto, I-... STOP MAKING IT SOUND LIKE WE HAD SEX! THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENED WAS YOU HELPED STOP THAT TRAITOROUS BASTARD MIZUKI! ... crap" the entire class was staring at Iruka in shock. No one was told about Muzuki.
A snicker could be heard from a certain ROOT agent as he moved back to his seat. Iruka had no choice but to explain what happened and continue assigning teams. Afterwards each sensei came and picked up their team leaving Team 7 to wait. Not that that was a surprise to Naruto, he knew Kakashi's habits ... he makes a point of knowing everything about the people who hurt him and Kakashi was one.
Natsu fidgeted slightly, he wanted to spend sometime with Naruto, but where to start "umm, Naruto ... would you like to get something to eat after this?"
"sounds good"
*poof* a puff of smoke revealed Kakashi and Kushina who told them to meet them on the roof.
30 minutes later ...
Kushina huffed as she waited for Naruto and Natsu to arrive. Sasuke and Sakura were there for 20 minutes already. That's when she heard the twins enter the roof.
"what took you two so long?" she demanded
Naruto shrugged "you never said when to meet and it wasn't that long compared to the two hours you made us wait"
The red head scratched her cheek sheepishly before glaring at Kakashi "well, now that everyone is here lets start the introductions. I'm Kushina Namkaze, i like ramen, my family and training. My dislikes are traitors, people hurt my family and rapists. Hobbies are spending time with my family" Naruto snorted at that making Kushina wince "a-and training. My dream ... is to bring my family back together"
Naruto raised an eyebrow "is there someone missing Namikaze-san? Lets see, there's Natsu, Mina, Karin, Mito and Arashi" the harsh tone he used made Kushina pale "who else could there be? A lost brother perhaps?" everyone saw the red head lower her head sadly.
The ROOT anbu ignored everyone's introductions except Natsu's ...
"I'm Natsu Namikaze, I like training and ramen. I dislike fools who hurt other people for something they don't have any control over. My hobbies are training and spending time with my brother. My dream is to become hokage"
A certain blonde sighed "I'm Naruto Sarutobi, I like many things. I dislike many people and ramen ... no offense Natsu, I used to like it, but one day I was hit with violent bouts of bloody vomit and diarrhea ... I thought I was allergic to something, but my Dad insists that it was the fatal levels of some pesky arsenic that somehow found its way into my noodles that made me sick ... haven't been able to eat ramen since then ... I have hobbies and dreams. The end"
Sweat drops appeared on everyones heads do to the lack of information and the to Namikazes actually felt so guilty that they were considering giving up ramen.
Kakashi skillfully hid his guilt behind his mask, he provided Teuchi with the arsenic "ok, we do the next part of this test at training ground 7 tomorrow at 8:00 ... don't eat breakfast or you'll puke .. yes Naruto?" he noticed the blonde was staring at him.
"nothing, you just remind me of this sadistic anbu with a dog mask that took great pleasure in torturing me ... so Natsu, where would you like to eat?" asked Naruto who pretended to not see Kakashi start sweating bullets as Kushina eyed him with suspicion.
The orangette pouted "I don't know this place very well ... where would you like to go?"
"there's a curry shop outside of town?"
Natsu smiled "sounds good" he never saw his mother's sad look as they left her behind.
XXXXXXXXXX
The twins stepped into the shop and took a seat.
A young man with purple hair and red eyes came over "hello, I'm Ranmaru, what you like today?"
They made their orders and as they waited Naruto said "still pissed at them"
Natsu frowned "yeah ... how did you know?"
The ROOT agent shrugged "you didn't say family in your likes"
"I can't help being mad at them, they kept you a secret for no reason and never bothered to check on you ... "
"they made stupid choices, but isn't something to hold against them. I don't hate them for what they did Natsu just how they tried to come into my life as if I should be grateful for just being a blood relative"
Natsu stayed silent for a minute "Naruto ... if things went differently do you think ..."
"that we would've switched places?" he suggested and Natsu nodded "maybe, we'll never know"
Their food came and had a pleasant meal.
After Naruto paid he told Natsu go ahead and when the twin left he turned to Ranmaru "thanks for not saying anything"
Ranmaru smiled "don't mention it, you probably don't want people knowing about your ROOT status ... umm we heard what happened, are you ok?"
Naruto shook his head "not by a long shot, but I'll be fine don't worry"
"we've been friends for years, don't tell me not to worry! I ... I care about you" he stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Naruto's.
The kiss was broken by the blonde "Ranmaru you know I'm dating Dan"
The curry cook nodded "yes, but I don't think he'll mind sharing"
"why would you ..." Naruto face palmed "he was here wasn't he, of course he'd be here" he chuckled.
Ranmaru nodded and smiled "he could tell I liked you and said if you wanted that it was fine with him and to tell you this" he whispered something in the blonde's ear and the reaction was unexpected ... Naruto grabbed him and kissed him ... a long passionate kiss that left the cook flushed and dazed.
That good moment might help Naruto get through the this without killing someone ... might ...
- 4
- 5
- 6
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A Crafty Chameleon