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Koiuta, V.2	By : dragonslover1 Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1338 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: 'Naruto' is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I am not profiting from this fanfiction.

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Koiuta, Love Song V.2
　
A New Friend
　
　
Bugs.
Like, live bugs, complete with six legs each and fully mobile. Dozens of them were covering Shino’s arm now, and Tasha could only stare, baffled and shocked by the sight. She had not been expecting that. And though she’d promised herself to just accept whatever he was about to show her, a quiver still raced up her spine. Against her will, her mind began supplying her with ponderings on how that must feel.
She shut those down with effort. Her stomach was already weak enough as it was, empty and craving to be filled. She didn’t need to add nausea to the mix.
Her eyes lifted to Shino’s— er, glasses. Wait, not glasses, goggles, she saw now. How had she missed that? “Insects,” she said, still dumbfounded.
If she didn’t know any better, she’d guess he was a little embarrassed. He pulled his arm back, the bugs beginning to return. . .to crawl. . .back under the flesh. “Yes,” was his only reply.
Okay then. Acceptance, she told herself. “That would probably drive me insane,” she commented. Then mentally kicked herself. That’s not acceptance, she chided herself. Shame colored her cheeks.
Another of those almost-chuckles came from him. He went back to his apple, as though unconcerned, but she knew better now. He must be as uneasy as she felt, she realized, but he was also a far better ninja, capable of hiding those emotions.
“I’m sorry if I offended you,” she told him then. She could only imagine what his life was like, living like this, bugs being such a reviled thing for most people and him being a kind of host to them. She refused to add to that negativity. He’d been kind to her; she would be kind to him.
“You didn’t,” was his response.
The hell she didn’t. She sent him a scowl. “I don’t appreciate being lied to,” she countered. “Don’t lie to spare my feelings when I hadn’t spared yours.”
A tilt of his chin— looking at her sideways, she guessed. He didn’t reply.
She relented, sitting further back. She admitted, “I have a lot of questions in my head right now.”
There was a hesitation, and then he said, “Ask one. Or two.”
Hah, allowing her a whole two of them? A slight amusement reached her. “Okay. I don’t see how they. . .live like that,” she tried, having trouble phrasing it right. “It doesn’t seem like it would work out in either of your favors.”
“It does,” he answered with a one-shouldered shrug. “They feed on chakra, nothing more, so they have everything they need.”
Oh. Well, then, “So it’s symbiotic? Totally?”
“Totally,” he agreed, a strange wryness to his tone; she suspected he never used that particular word.
“Then— shoot,” she stopped herself. “There goes my two questions.”
This time he had a heartier chuckle, and it kind of warmed her to hear. She doubted he laughed often. “I’ll give you a third,” he told her.
Oh, goody. “Lucky me,” she replied, though she was a teensy bit amused. “So the bugs feed on your chakra, keeping them alive and well. What’s your benefit?” If it was symbiotic, as she’d said, then there must be a benefit. End of story.
“I use them as a ninja,” he explained. “I can scout with them, attack with them. Spook young children with them.”
She gave a laugh, partly out of disbelief. A joke, from this man? She doubted that happened often. But then, she also guessed he needed those jokes. She couldn’t imagine the kind of disgust he would receive on a daily basis. Sure, his team were perfectly fine with him, but that was only two people, now wasn’t it?
“Yeah?” she checked, a small smile curving her lips. “Bet that’s a hell of a party trick.”
Again, he chuckled.
She grew serious then, glancing around. “Where did the others go? And how long have they been gone?”
“You woke up just after they left,” he told her, twisting his apple in his hand. “They’re scouting for food.”
Of which he had, she noted. “Good,” she sighed, “because I haven’t eaten since yesterday.”
The spinning apple stopped, the majority of it gone by now. She noticed him looking right at it, then glancing back at her.
“Don’t,” she said before he could offer it. “I’ve already taken up enough of your— ”
“Good graces?” he interrupted, voice harsh.
She jolted. Okay then. He’d never just interrupted another before, and certainly not with that fierce tone. She tensed her jaw. “Yes. I can wait a few minutes,” she reasoned, “and I’m not going to take your food on top of everything else. Speaking of which,” she added, “how do you have an apple and they didn’t?”
“We expected you days before now,” he explained, “so we weren’t rationing our food at first. They finished theirs off yesterday before you arrived. This is the last of mine,” he added, lifting his hand to display the apple.
Fearing he would try to force it upon her anyway, she eased back until she was leaning against the same tree she’d fallen asleep against. Changing the subject seemed the safest course, so she said, “Here’s a fourth question. What made you decide to go the bug route as a ninja?”
Gods, she could feel a rise in tension between them. Was he irritated? If yes— she suspected yes— then why? Because she’d changed the subject, denying him the chance to force feed her, or because she went ahead and asked a personal question?
She supposed his answer would explain it.
He exhaled hard (definitely annoyed) before saying, “I didn’t. It’s common in my clan. In order to ensure the kikaichu bond with a person’s chakra, they have to be given as close to birth as possible. It was chosen for me.”
And now she was sad. Or maybe sympathizing, she realized. Her hand lifted, tracing a finger over her jewel. “I guess that’s something we have in common, then,” she said, her voice quiet. “I never had a choice, either.”
It was strange, thinking how relaxed she was with him now. Before he’d been so intimidating, so spooky, that she hadn’t been able to so much as look at him for longer than a second. As if she feared he’d strike her or something for daring to gaze upon him. A stupid kind of fear, she thought, but she hadn’t been able to help herself. Then she woke up in his coat, snuggled up and warm, and her whole opinion of him had changed.
Yeah, he was big and clearly valued anonymity if his choice in attire said anything, yet he seemed more like a gentle giant than a creepy stalker. It was staggering how big of a change that was, all because of a coat. Hell, she found herself kind of liking him. He was kind and she was grateful. Top that off with his bugs and what must have been a harsh life because of it and she felt kind of bad for him.
Or along with him, she mused. She’d been reviled as well, her jewel a point of envy and wrath in equal measure. It probably didn’t help that her father never ceased boasting about her, so much so that she grew sick of it by the time she was ten. Her situation didn’t rival Shino’s, though; when it came down to it, no one had ever gazed at her like she was a monster. Not because of her jewel.
Another tense silence stretched out between them. And then, taking a page from her own book, he changed the subject. “Continuing the conversation from last night,” he began— ignoring the fact that he hadn’t been a part of said conversation, “why does it bother you so much, to have others risk themselves for you?”
She looked away, suddenly wishing she had facial obstructions like his own to hide her expression. She didn’t want to even attempt to answer that. “I don’t want to talk about this,” she told him.
“I think you need to,” he countered.
No doubt. But, still. . . “Give me one good reason,” she challenged.
A pause. Then, “I’ll convince my team to leave you to your own devices if you can convince me we should.”
Her eyes snapped back over to him, part shocked, part disbelieving. He’d figured her out so quick, she realized, and that was just a bit disconcerting. That was a tempting offer. Sure, she would have a harder time surviving on her own, but her guilt would ease and if she died. . .then at least she wouldn’t be alive to nurse these fears any longer.
Jaw clenched, she pondered the answer. How could she explain? “I’m weak,” she began, and oh how that grated on her pride. She was deadly, damn it. Just. . .not right then. “The way I was raised, the way my clan functions, weakness is so abhorrent, I couldn’t begin to explain it. Being weak is the worst thing you could possibly be. It’s our taboo, so reviled that not only would no one offer help without ulterior motives, but no one would accept help, either.”
And here she was, depending on others for her very survival. She appreciated it, yes, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth. She was starting to think that these ninja didn’t value strength the way her home country did. Had she asked one of her clan for help, for any reason, someone would’ve increased her wounds and left her to struggle on her own. Only absolute unconsciousness was reason enough for failing to care for yourself, and even then your life was forfeit for allowing yourself to fall into oblivion.
In the end, being unable to care for yourself was a death sentence.
“The only way to ease the shame of weakness is to display the strength to overcome great obstacles,” she told him. “Consistently, I have failed to do so. Metaphorically speaking, obstacles are lined up in front of me, and instead of climbing them myself, I’m allowing others to do it in my place.” She scowled at herself. There was simply no way she could lower herself further. Pathetic.
“So,” Shino began, “what you mean to say is that you can’t accept help without offering something in return.”
A kind of terror descended. He was bargaining, and damn it, she needed that bargain, even as she feared what he would demand of her in return. Tense, she nodded, acquiescing.
“How about an open-ended agreement, then?” he offered. “At some point in the future, I will ask you for something. You will give it.”
She hesitated. Already her guilt was alleviating, lessening the weight on her shoulders. Tentative, she replied, “Not just you, but Hinata and Kiba as well. All three of you are helping me.” And Akamaru, she added, but as she couldn’t communicate with the dog, he would have to be part of Kiba’s promise.
Shino nodded. “I will convince them to accept,” he said.
Another second passed in hesitation, and then she blew out a sigh. “Then I agree.” And, oh, that felt good, relief suffusing her. A deal. It was familiar, if a bit worrisome at the same time. It gave her reason to relax, to allow the others to help her. Sure, this was probably going to backfire, someone was going to take advantage of the ‘open-ended’ part of the agreement, but right then all that mattered was her lack of guilt. Even her shame was lessening.
“And you’re not a deserter,” he added a moment later.
Her scowl returned. “Then what would you call me?”
He mused on that for a moment. “A survivor,” he answered.
Another chill took her, but this one was different from the others. It was as though her awareness had blossomed wider than it’d ever been before, allowing her to peer back in her memories to see things she’d overlooked before. It was. . .comforting, in a way. She felt Shino was wrong, of course, but it was still comforting to think someone out there didn’t see her as faulty.
“I betrayed my daimyo,” she informed him. “He ordered my death.”
At that, Shino gave her more of his attention, facing her more fully, his gaze clearly on her despite his hidden gaze. “He ordered you to die, then? He sent you such a message?”
That stopped her. Because no, no he hadn’t. He’d sent orders for her team to kill her, and they’d failed in that endeavor, but she had not received similar orders. Not a word about surrendering herself. For that matter, she hadn’t seen her sensei’s message, either. How could she even be certain of what the complete order was?
Her silence answered Shino’s question. “I thought not,” he said.
She shook her head, smiling in spite of herself. “You have an interesting way of thinking,” she noted.
“And it challenges your own,” he returned smoothly.
So it did. She had a feeling she could count on him for a new perspective whenever she needed one. She smirked lightly, only to let it fade. “. . .That doesn’t change my situation, though. They still want me dead.” Well, maybe they didn’t seek her death specifically, but they wanted her jewel. She would die either way.
“They will remain disappointed,” he replied, firm.
Yep. She was definitely starting to like him. Somehow she found herself confessing to him, though he never once appeared the slightest bit interested in such things, “It’s. . .hard on me, accepting that. I always thought I was worth something to my clan, to my country. I thought I was valued. But instead, without a pinch of hesitation, they’re all willing to kill me.”
No one had ever truly liked her. She knew that. But still, she’d hoped, damn it. She’d hoped someone would at least put some worth on her life, to defend her if she needed it. It had never happened.
“I’m worthless to them,” she said, realizing it as she spoke the words. Was that heartbreak in her tone? Probably, she admitted. It was devastating to realize that her lifetime of devout loyalty was being rewarded with swift death. The ‘swift’ part was the only real reward.
“You’re worth effort,” Shino told her. Serious. Then, “You’re worth. . .three potatoes.”
She barked out a laugh, the response completely unexpected. Another joke! Clearly she hadn’t known this man very well before now. As she chuckled, she echoed, “Three potatoes?” What made him choose potatoes for that particular joke, she wondered?
“An argument could be made for three and a half,” he amended. From what little she could read of him, he seemed amused. Somehow his dry tone made it all the funnier.
More laughter flowed from her, until sudden surprise had her stopping. “I’m laughing,” she said in awe. She never laughed. She’d never been amused like this before, mirth lifting her spirits. It brought into painful clarity one glaring fact: she’d never really been happy before. To confuse things further, it was Shino— one of the most stoic people she’d ever met— who had managed that feat.
She made sure to look away from him, new thoughts crossing her mind, as she said, “Thank you for that.”
“I take it you don’t often laugh?” he checked.
She shook her head. “There’s not a lot of amusement in Iwagakure. Not unless you’re into sadistic tortures, in any case.” While many ninja enjoyed the screams of others, she did not. A good thing, too, because she’d never had to torture anyone for information. She wasn’t sure she could have done it.
“Ohaiyo!” a feminine voice called.
Tasha looked up with a smile, pleased. Hinata had returned, striding into view with her backpack slung over her shoulder. As she reached Tasha, she crouched, now obscuring Shino from view. The older woman unzipped her pack, letting Tasha see inside it. A multitude of colorful fruits were within.
Her mouth watered. “I take it you’re sharing with me?” she checked. At Hinata’s nod, Tasha dove in, taking out several pieces to examine them. Of the four in her hands, she had never seen two of them before. “What are these?” she asked. “Iwa doesn’t stock them.”
Surprise crossed Hinata’s face as she answered, “That’s a plum, and this is an iyokan.”
And they were both delicious. A tiny moan of relief and pleasure escaped her throat upon the first bite into the plum, enjoying the flavor as much as she did the juice within and the grateful, slow fill to her belly. Hinata eventually sat beside her, the two chatting lightly as they ate. After a few minutes, Kiba returned, only he had a dead rabbit with him. Akamaru was licking his mouth, a smear of blood across his muzzle.
The rabbit was cooked, though Tasha wrinkled her nose at the smell, the fruits passed around as well. When she turned away the cooked rabbit, Kiba looked at her funny, clearly having no difficulty eating meat.
“You a vegetarian?” he asked.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “No, I’m just particular. I don’t like much when it comes to meat.” A fact that had shocked her entire clan. She’d forced herself to chew and swallow chunks of various animals just to avoid being ridiculed for not liking them.
She just. . .she liked fruits so much more. Sweet, juicy, fulfilling; what wasn’t to like? Meat, on the other hand, tended to be dry, tough— and sometimes she would encounter a bone. That was the worst. Why kill an animal she wouldn’t even enjoy eating when she could pluck berries, an act that hardly caused distress to the animal in question?
As the meal dragged on, she noticed that Kiba didn’t even offer the rabbit to Shino. She guessed bug-man (inward snicker) didn’t like meat either. Hinata and Kiba picked the corpse clean, more or less, the rest of it being tossed to Akamaru. The hound swallowed the remains whole, only a few sickening crunches echoing out.
Okay, then. Kiba had swiftly become her least favorite person in their group.
Now finished with breakfast, they got to their feet, cleaned up the camp to hide evidence of their stay and started off again. Once she was actually walking again, Tasha was reminded of why she’d needed to rest in the first place. Her body was recharged, ready to go, energy suffusing her, yet her wounds still protested movement. Suck it up. She was a kunoichi; she could make it.
One particular wound on left calf was flaring in pain, each step spearing her with pain. Stubborn as she was, she kept up a steady pace, refusing to limp. Even if it hurt, even if it was debilitating, she would not falter. As she’d told Shino, she’d been letting everyone else jump her hurdles. For once she would jump her own. After this past week, allowing so many others to care for her when she could have been fighting on her own, she rejected the very idea of accepting help without an intense need for it.
Until she reached the point of being incapable of walking, she would damn well walk.
Time passed. Hours. Dawn led to dusk, dusk to dark. She could barely see, but with her entourage, she didn’t collide with anything. Hinata had sharp eyes, guiding Tasha over obstacles and around trees. And, honestly, Tasha felt safe here, between Hinata and Shino. She trusted them both by this point, believed they wouldn’t let her get hurt.
Not that it could be stopped by now. Heat continued rising from her, and she knew very well what it meant. She had a fever. If she had a fever, her health was deteriorating. Still she chose not to inform the others, even as the chill of the night failed to combat the flush of her skin. Her mind flickered in and out, aware of only the simplest things, like walking.
At some point she realized she was wearing Shino’s coat again. It helped block the others from seeing her skin, rosy and slick with sweat by then, so she kept it despite how stuffy and hot it made her feel. How they hadn’t noticed yet, she didn’t know, but she was honestly grateful they hadn’t. She had something to prove: that she was strong, stronger than anyone from Iwagakure knew.
It reached a head when she made to step forward, and when all of her weight was put on her left leg, a seam burst. She felt several stitches pop on her calf, a sudden pain wrenching a sharp cry from her. She fell to her knees, hissing in a breath, already feeling heat and moisture soaking into her bandages. Shit.
The team reacted as one, the men stepping away as Hinata rounded on Tasha. “What happened?” the elder girl demanded.
“My stitches,” Tasha explained, shifting to sit with her hurt leg out to the side. She had to fling the coat out of the way. And she winced when she looked at it, scowling at the red spreading through the wraps. For simplicity’s sake, she’d had her arms and legs wrapped entirely in bandages instead of just focusing on the wounds themselves. It acted as camouflage (many ninja employed such bandages) as well as keeping as much out of the wounds as could be.
At the first glance, Hinata gave a soft gasp, concern flowing from her.
Tasha looked up at Kiba, only one question relevant right then: “How long until we would reach Konoha?”
He looked grim. “At this pace? Two days,” he answered. Then he gestured his hound. “A few hours if you ride on Akamaru, though,” he offered. Or was that a demand?
Tasha glanced over at the hound. Accept his offer or not? She already owed him an unnamed favor. . .or did she? He hadn’t agreed, now had he? And he would probably argue, she suspected. No, then. She started to rise.
A hand held her down. “It’s infected,” Hinata told her, grim.
Tasha was not the least bit surprised. “I’ll make it,” she replied. But would she? Her heart was pounding, her skull ached, her breath was coming in pants, harsh but slow. The weakness her limbs had felt the previous night made a mockery of this one’s, her legs shaking from the exertion she’d forced herself to exude.
Fearful white-lavender eyes filled Tasha’s vision. “No, you won’t,” she whispered.
- - -
Author’s Note: I literally just looked up Shino and his team, trying to get more info and figure out what they would be like at age 20 (which is the age I’ve given them here). In the process, I noticed I overlooked some things about Shino’s attire. He’s wearing goggles instead of sunglasses now, his coat is green, not white, and his outfit is a little different than I remember it.
I hereby take artistic license and say he’s wearing a different ensemble in the future, so hah. (Although I did keep his goggles cause that seems more like him than sunglasses.) Besides, I really like the whole sleeveless vest thing. It’s sexy okay.
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Koiuta, V.2