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The More Things Change	By : Sushi4Brains Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 8513 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, nor is any profit made from this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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TMTC Chapter 5: Doble Problema de Yamato (Yamato's Double Trouble)

Sexual fantasies . . .
organic byproducts of intelligent design; images and sensations retrieved in an instant, when the physiological or psychological needs of the body demand a form of gratification, masturbation alone cannot satisfy.
Sexual fantasies . . .
Forbidden forays into another world; here, the unattainable object of one's desires is possessed, manipulated to do things completely out of character, or act in ways wildly uninhibited and utterly taboo in real life.
Sexual fantasies . . .
the gateway into a hedonistic wonderland of delights, a haven to indulge and repeatedly satisfy one's unspoken urges and unfulfilled needs.
*****     *****     *****
He’d spent the better part of his life underground, hidden away from the public; training, becoming a weapon for his village's defense. Weapons like him had no need for emotions, as nothing else mattered except completing a mission assigned.   Weapons, like him didn’t need or even deserve a proper name, for a weapon’s usefulness was only determined by how well it did the job.
It was a way of life, one he never asked for and never fit into, a lifestyle in which he was constantly ridiculed for being too soft-hearted or punished because of his underdeveloped lust for blood.
Surrounded by much older, far wiser and exceptionally powerful figures of masculine authority most of his childhood, he admired and strove to be like them, that he might find acceptance among them.
Daydreams became his shields, deflecting the rude stares and comments of his peers.
“You look like a girl … an ugly little girl at that,” they laughed in his face.
“You ever seen this guy on the training fields?
His taijutsu and kenjutsu skills are for crap.”
“Yep, Lord Danzou’s wasting his time with that one,
he’ll never amount to much,” they muttered behind his back.
Nighttime whimsies, fueled by a vivid imagination, provided an outlet for those frustrations.
One of these days ... I’ll show them all,
he used to think as he tossed and turned on his narrow cot.
Visualizing himself an elite jounin, with throngs of the former naysayers surrounding him, clamoring for a spot on ‘his’ team, he’d drift off to sleep with a smile.
And then along came puberty
with its rapid changes in body and mind, a sloppy mix of hormones, angst and a new way of rebelling against that which he was powerless to change. Right smack in the middle of all this inner turmoil is when he met
Hatake Kakashi.
A mere slip of a man-child himself; tall and spindly, with a shock of silvery hair that made him look older than he was. He had weird, captivating eyes - one grey, the other blood red and he always kept the lower half of his face concealed behind a fabric mask.
He’s a peculiar one, he remembered thinking the first time he saw him.
In time he learned there was so much more beyond that oddly striking outward appearance.
Like him, Kakashi was a weapon, the last of his bloodline and the recipient of a kekkai genkai capable of taking his life. Both he and Kakashi trained diligently, overcoming their supposed handicaps.
But that’s where their similarities ended.
Regarded as a prodigy by many, Kakashi excelled in all arenas academic, holding his own with the so called intellectuals from a young age and far surpassing his peers in the ninja arts. A born leader, unconventional in his approach and extremely proficient too. He complied with orders, as they suited his aesthetic; unafraid to speak his mind if he disagreed with the plan of action.   He followed his instincts, much to the consternation of his teammates and squad leaders when they proved spot on.
Yamato, an average student in the Academy, one who shied away from conversation in general, was a follower, trained to subdue emotion and squelch any instinct which diverted from his orders.   As to his skills in the other ninja arts - it was ‘catch as catch can.’ The focus of his training was, Mokuton no jutsu in the hope he’d develop the skill needed to suppress the chakra of a tailed beast. Even with the ardent coaching of Lord Danzou and the scroll of techniques left behind by the First Hokage, his competency with the jutsu paled in comparison. In the Foundation, disagreement with an assigned mission was unheard of; those who dared such a thing were swiftly and painfully punished.
Once set free of the Foundation and ushered into the ranks of the regular ANBU, his unchanging, orderly little world turned sideways.
Kakashi became his squad leader and he immediately seized on those areas of Yamato’s weakness. Routinely throwing him in the middle of an empty training ground, he wound up sparring with Maito Gai; getting his ass kicked a few times did wonders to improve his taijutsu skills. Hours spent in secret with Kakashi and Yuhi Kurenai, saw his genjutsu abilities improve by leaps and bounds. And months of training under Kakashi’s watchful eye with some woman, whose identity he never knew, increased his skill with kenjutsu.
Through it all, Kakashi never looked at him as only a weapon; he dared see him as a person, one whose company he enjoyed, not just tolerated for the duration of a mission. His captain routinely sought his advice on tactical strategies, employing his ideas in battle and giving him full credit in their official reports.
Most important of all, Kakashi trusted him.
He spent time getting to know him, learning about his likes and dislikes, his aspirations and fears and though it took a while, Yamato began seeing the world and himself through the eyes of his captain.
Being highly regarded by his squad leader and having proved himself a capable shinobi, the whispers of his former Foundation colleagues behind his back were now rooted in jealousy. And rightly so. Theirs was an unlikely kinship, a bond of trust between misfits; one a loner by choice, the other a loner by circumstance.
Kakashi gave him something else that forever changed his life …
a sense of worth.
Unfortunately, it was around this time that sexual fantasies about his captain began insinuating themselves in his mind.
And then . . . there was Hound,
another side of Kakashi he’d come to accept; he understood all too well the necessity behind the alter ego’s existence. But the darkness that was Hound, called out to something deep within him, connecting with and drawing forth emotions difficult to classify.
Yamato found himself desperately wanting to shore up whatever was lacking in his captain that made Hound indispensable to Kakashi’s actuality; felt he had to be an anchor for the man who'd rescued him.
But it would never be so; Hound was a deeply embedded part of Kakashi – he’d never have one without the other.
Still, the maslin of personalities working in concert, brought them success on the field of battle; this same strange, symbiotic relationship ultimately forced him away from his captain, cutting his losses with the man who'd taught him to know and trust himself.
Kakashi gave him liberty to express his emotions – a wellspring of information was his captain on the subject, though reluctant to reveal his own.
Liberty became license; thinking of this man in ways which deviated from accepted norms.
Sexual fantasies . . .
These were the things which made his sojourn from puberty to adulthood hellish.
However, in the years spent apart from Kakashi, life experiences and maturity wrought self-control in the man formerly known as Kinoe; gone were the days when he was a slave to the lustful needs and insistent demands of his flesh.
He'd come to see his daydreams and sexual fantasies for what they were; a means to relieve the stresses of shinobi life
. . . nothing more.
Those years of lying to himself came to a head the moment he stepped over the threshold and into Kakashi's home; here in this place, where the embodiment of the improbable and the realization of the impossible stared him in the face, laughing at his fragility.
Here in this place, the depths of his shameful thoughts will be sifted through, pilfered and openly displayed before the eyes of the one man he never stopped idolizing.
For all the benefits daydreams and sexual fantasies previously afforded, tonight he realized the reason said fantasies should forever remain sequestered within the confines of the mind, never to come to pass whether by suggestion, coercion, or shaman's incantation.
Reality could never match what the mind can envision . . .
that’s what he used to think.
It was the elements of timing and control that made fantasies enthralling and rewarding; how fast or slow the action progressed, how fleeting or lingering the kisses, when or where a pinch or a touch, can and should be given or received. Moments of pleasure could be drawn out, paused, rewound or replayed as often as one's stamina permitted - these were the elements which turned random strings of sensations and images into experiences that altered one's religion.
Yet, when the same elements of timing and control are taken out of proper context or warped by the interference of real life, they could wreak havoc on one's psyche.
Sexual fantasies . . . a double-edged sword.
The world of his private pleasures compromised, complicated and destabilized by the not particularly unwelcome element of surprise.
Hound's physical manifestation in all his armor-clad glory, was a shock to his system to say the least.
Though his visage was obscured by the mask, the faintly familiar smell of blood and weapon oil clung to his clothing, hair and skin; his demeanor, hostile as usual and that voice, so clear and commanding – these things were part of another favorite sexual fantasy now come to life.
Juxtaposing the cold persona of Hound against the warmth of Kakashi's body, his bare face providing no clues of the thoughts running through his mind; the fragrances of cedar and clove oils clinging to his skin hours after the bath, the soothing weight of a cloth covered forearm casually draped over the small of his back . . . by the gods this was far beyond anything he ever dared imagine!
Whenever his imagination ran wild, it selectively fixated either on Kakashi or Hound, never both at once, for fear his mind might implode or his body might give out if bombarded with that type of stimuli.
But this corporeal realism was the icing on the cupcake of every indecent thought he’d had since the dawn of puberty; here he was, in a threesome of sorts, caught up between these two compelling personas, wanting to yield himself to both - scared to death of what his or their reactions would be should he be forced to choose between them.
If he made it out of this house tonight mentally unscathed, it would be a miracle.
Hound … Kakashi … me, he thought. It’s too much.
His eyes slide closed just for a second, long enough to recall the initial awkwardness he felt when Hound’s critical eye skimmed over his body; too stunned was he and too aroused to speak when the hands he’d used to shield his private parts were slapped away.
He swallowed hard, remembering the giddy, goose pimply sensations as Hound cupped, weighed and gently squeezed the tender flesh of his scrotum.   A thrill shot up his spine upon recalling those same slender digits raking through the thick, brown hair on his head; the sounds of his own guttural, lust filled gasps of pain as they reverberated around the sparsely furnished room made him weak in the knees. Even now, he could still feel the cool impression of Hound's pitted metal shin guards, grinding into his febrile back; that alone almost pushed him over the brink.
The sense of utter humiliation when Hound gruffly spoke, threatening to take matters into his own hands left him breathless and uncomfortably hard.
And the fact Hound didn't give a damn about the discomfort he caused, merely ramped up his desire, making him hungrier for more abuse from that ruthless man. Finally, having been thrust across a waiting lap, he remembered wholeheartedly embracing the bite of the rough cotton material covering Kakashi's thighs, the fabric that scratched at his erection, rudely rolling back the foreskin and exposing hypersensitive flesh beneath; the exquisite twinge of pain and the unexpected surge of satisfaction, once more threatened to bring him to a shuddering orgasm.
Fortunately, he had the presence of mind back then to slightly lift his hips; that was the only thing that kept him from rutting against his captain’s thighs.
All he could do after the urge lessened, was hope Kakashi wouldn't see or couldn't feel the thin trail of pre-ejaculate dribbled and smeared across the dark material.
That was the other thing about sexual fantasies
and why they should never be acted out.
Their appeal, their beauty, lay in their simplicity . . . but this present reality was too messy due to the emotional attachments to both Kakashi and Hound.
Damn it!
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take!
Lost, trapped inside a world not of his making, he desperately wished for freedom from these peculiar and prodigious feelings, all the while hankering for the sensual captivity this world offered. He kept fighting, struggling to reject these experiences, fearing they'd fade away were he to surrender himself completely.
Hound's presence, as an 'overseer,’ a witness to his chastisement, muddied the waters further but made one thing crystal clear.
He'd never outgrown the childlike, intense yearning for Hound's approval . . . as a shinobi and as a man.
Thus, he steeled himself, determined to face his discipline with a dignity and stoicism sure to earn Hound's respect.
That determination faltered, vanished without a trace, the moment Hound reached for the hairbrush.
White-knuckled, stomach twisting, blind panic was all that remained. As far as he could tell, the 'overseer' was about to cross an invisible boundary, from 'witness' to active participant.
Animalistic lust boiled down right then and there,
condensing itself into an almost feral instinct to survive.
Notes:
Kenjutsu: techniques involving the use of swords.
Whimsy: odd or fanciful notion.
Maslin: a mixture or medley.
Kekkai genkai: natural abilities genetically passed down through a family.
Mokuton no jutsu (Wood Style): a combined nature transformation kekkai genkai which originated within the Senju clan. Using an earth based technique with one hand and water based techniques with the other, this jutsu can create wood (trees) as well as plants from any surface including the user’s body. This ability was coveted by many as it also allowed the user to restrain and control the chakra of a tailed beast and by extension, its jinchuriki host. An organization within Konoha (the Foundation) sought the Mokuton no jutsu’s power to overthrow the ninja system, first in the Land of Fire and ultimately, the Five Shinobi Nations. To this end, Kinoe, along with sixty other children were injected with the DNA extracted from Hashirama Senju, the only person then known to possess the Wood Style ability. Of these sixty children, Kinoe/Tenzou was the sole survivor. Hashirama left behind a scroll filled with techniques based on this ability, which Lord Danzou (the leader of the Foundation), obtained by nefarious means; he then passed along the scroll to Kinoe/Tenzou.
Symbiotic: having an interdependent relationship.
Prodigious: wonderful or marvelous.
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The More Things Change