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On The Cusp	By : Okami-Rayne Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Neji Views: 2205 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: NARUTO and its respective characters were created and are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement intended. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
ON THE CUSP

by Okami Rayne

Chapter Five

At the time of defeat, Shikamaru's terms had been simple.

No dancing and no singing.

These were his conditions of surrender. But while Ino may have ceased fire on her attempts to drag him into the spotlight, the shadow-nin learned that others were waiting in the wings and on the front lines, ready to usurp her and take command of his torture.

Kiba was the first to launch an assault.

And it came flying across the table like a cannonball.

Shikamaru's reflexes saved him.

Twisting, he caught the object between his palms, the force jolting his wrists. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Dive-bombing you with a present," the dog-nin snickered, teeth gnashing into a barbecue rib. "It won't crap on you or draw your blood though."

"Just break my skull," Shikamaru scowled, staring at the sphere-shaped present wrapped so badly it had sharp edges.

"Open it, already!" Naruto encouraged, rapping his chopsticks on his plate like a drum roll. "I wanna know what crap-magnet got you."

Belatedly, Shikamaru realised that all chatter had ceased and the spotlight had swung his way the second he'd caught the gift. He awkwardly passed the item between his palms, not enjoying the lick of limelight Kiba had struck him with.

"It's not gonna explode," Kiba assured, though he looked like he might, amusement lit like a fuse behind his eyes. "Open it."

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched upward. "You got me a ball, huh?"

Kiba rolled his eyes, gnawing on the rib with a lazy grin. "You're not seriously gonna predict the presents, are you? Just open the damn thing."

Shikamaru set his elbow on the table and held the sphere-shaped gift in one palm, testing the weight with a limp tip and roll of his wrist. "It's a Magic 8 Ball."

"No way…" Kiba's mouth dropped open, rib forgotten and snatched up by Akamaru when it hit the floor. "You freak. How the hell do you do that?"

"You have a predictable sense of humour," Shikamaru drawled, hooking his thumb into the wrapping to tear the paper back, just enough to spy the shiny black plastic and the curve of the number "8" painted onto it. "Nice."

Kiba grinned, canines flashing. "You need to live on the wild side, Shikamaru. Leave a few things up to chance."

"Oh yeah?" Shikamaru rolled his wrist, waving the ball around. "Fine. I'm gonna use this the next time we're on a mission. Leave how dead we get up to chance."

"That might actually be funny. Well, before we die anyway," Naruto laughed, throwing out a hand to Shikamaru with twitching fingers.

The shadow-nin rolled the gift across the table to him, the sharp-ends of the wrapping making its journey a little wayward as it wobbled into Naruto's possession.

"Whoa, who wrapped this?"

"Kiba." Shino shook his head fractionally. "I suggested that Hinata wrap it, but he refused. Why? Because it would mean he'd have actually listened to me."

"Shino-kun…" Hinata pleaded.

"Hey, shut up," Kiba snapped, glaring at the insect-handler over Hinata's head. "Besides, I did it on purpose to throw Shikamaru off the guessing game."

"And you did such a good job," Shino deadpanned.

Kiba scowled, considered arguing, but played the sympathy-stroke-sarcastic card. "I got carved up by Shikamaru's psychotic bird, alright? He deserved a present with some sharp edges."

"I'd'a killed to see Shikamaru stuck in a tree," Naruto laughed. "Too bad his bird stole the evidence."

Shikamaru sighed. "It's not my bir—"

"Magic ball!" Naruto shouted, shaking it with all the enthusiasm of a gambler hoping to roll a winning dice. "Is Kiba a crap-magnet?"

"Shut it!" the dog-nin growled, reaching across to swipe at him.

Naruto swayed in his chair, taking refuge behind Sai, who looked on with blank interest at the curious game and Kiba's animated reaction. "Crap-magnet? I don't understand."

"Probably for the best," Shikamaru muttered between his fingers, chin set in his palm as he watched Naruto shaking the ball either side of his head, drawing out the wait just to taunt the dog-nin.

"A fitting gift for you, slacker-clown." Temari's chuckle spilt like rich wine across the table, the sound chasing along his spine and flooding back down again in a ripple.

He reached back to rub his nape. "Yeah?"

"Of course," she said. "Less of a 'drag' not having to take responsibility for the outcome. Kind of like with the Chūnin exams, hmn?"

The barb snagged Shikamaru's attention and he looked across at her. "What do you wanna bet the "magic" ball agrees with me that you're more troublesome than me any damn day of the week?"

Temari's eyes flickered with playful intrigue. "A gamble, Nara?"

"Like I said, it's always a game."

She held his gaze through the steam wafting from her tea, a red thumbnail catching the light as she stroked the ceramic. "Fine. What do I get if I win?"

The confidence in her tone hooked his interest, rousing him from his slouch to sit back a little. "Odds are in my favour here. Ten out of twenty answers are affirmative."

"Then I'll hedge my bets on the non-committal and negative outcomes," Temari returned, leaning back to mirror him. "If I win, you'll owe me a favour."

Shikamaru's eyes twitched with suspicion. "Too vague."

Temari shrugged. "Afraid to be indebted to a woman, Nara?"

The corner of Shikamaru's mouth twisted upward. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Pass it here."

"Once sec…" Naruto stopped shaking the ball and waited for the dice inside to float to the surface. He shoved it under Kiba's nose with a triumphant "HA!" when the answer revealed itself as "MOST LIKELY".

"Just wait 'til it's my turn." Kiba snatched it away and tossed it over to Shikamaru in an overhead throw.

The Nara caught it, shook it once and set it on the table in front of Temari. "If I win, you quit harassing me about what happened."

"Spoil my fun, why don't you?" Temari sighed with phony disappointment, dropping her eyes down to trace the sinews in his hand as he cupped the ball, hiding the answer.

Shikamaru's fingers flexed. "Deal?"

Temari folded her arms atop the table and nodded stiffly, waiting.

Shikamaru drew a breath, removed his hand and cocked his head to read the upside down text that had floated to the surface.

Ah shit.

"MY SOURCES SAY NO"

Temari let out a short breath, her smile flashing like a blade across her face, sharp and fierce. "Well look at that. I'm less troublesome. How surprising."

Shikamaru blew out his cheeks with a quiet chuckle, unable to keep from shaking his head at the outcome. "Well, let's consider the source. It's a stupid ball."

"It's only stupid because you lost." Temari tapped the tips of her fingers to the sphere, spinning it around to face him. "Read it and weep, Shikamaru. You lose."

He ignored the smug click of her nails across the plastic and reached for one of the drinks steaming across the table. "Figures. Never had the best of luck at the worst of times."

She smiled at that. "No wonder you're so reluctant to leave things up to chance."

Hesitating, Shikamaru redirected his hand and reached for the Magic 8 Ball instead.

"Something like that…" He gripped the ball between his long fingers, shot her a guarded look from under the dark line of his brow and rolled the gift back to Naruto.

Temari's smile slipped away.

"Something," she murmured.

Shikamaru frowned at that, but let it slide.

"So," he began, trying to gauge her intentions. "What do you want then?"

Temari's eyes gleamed knowingly in the muted light. "I'll tell you what I want when I want it."

That odd sensation close to a flutter stirred in the pit of Shikamaru's stomach, but he ignored it in favour of keeping his expression carefully blank. Temari reached for her tea, challenging his look by returning it.

"Fair enough," he murmured, watching her lips tuck up into a smile around her drink, clearly pleased with herself.

She had every right to be, given the damned carte blanche he'd just handed her. Stupid move, especially if she was still pissed beneath her pretty smiles. He'd ditched her in the deep end twice, leaving her to deal with dignitaries clamouring for him in a dirty, highest-bidder race in order to score powerful, political points in a game he wanted no part in.

God damned Chūnin exams…

Twice a year, they pulled in the major players from all villages and all countries; Daimyo's and Kage's mounting in a cutthroat sport of snatching up the best candidates. Candidates that were positioned and played on a board encompassing all the lands put together. And given the prices of power at stake, the game was as corrupt and sordid as any soul-selling sport. He'd learned that the hard way.

"The Fire Daimyo may have his eye on you now, but our Daimyo's offer will fit you like a glove. Remember what I told you. You're cut from the same cloth, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru closed his eyes at the memory, swallowing hard.

That's not what I am…

God, maybe he was something worse.

His fingers curled on the tabletop, knuckles blanching as he tightened his fist.

Temari watched him quietly, frowning.

He didn't notice, his focus wavering at the borderline of the massive "do not pass go" sign he'd nailed into the inside of his skull when he was fourteen…

Fifteen…

His mind corrected, robotically supplying the information.

Just turned fifteen.

Shikamaru frowned and shoved the fact back behind the borderline in his brain. All memories the other side of it were strictly off limits. Or at least they had been until Tsunade had kicked him back into the warzone a few months ago, making him a proctor at the Chūnin exams in Suna. That had forced him so close to the edge that he'd risked tipping over into the territory he'd boarded up and cordoned off inside of himself.

Change track, Nara.

He mentally skipped onto another train of thought, which derailed into a mental wall when Temari spoke, guessing at his introspection. "It still gets me how someone as smart as you, could behave so stupidly."

"And here come those backhanded compliments," he muttered, lashes hovering at half-mast. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Of course you don't, that might actually be embarrassing for you."

"Temari…"

Temari tipped her chin up. "Then apologise for the trouble you caused me."

"No."

"Then you're going to be very sorry by the end of this night."

Shikamaru snorted. "Do your worst."

Fucking stupid.

He shouldn't have said it, but it was out his mouth before he could even register he'd issued the brainless challenge. As if she really needed the encouragement. Sensing his freeze-frame moment of "shit, shit, shit" Temari smirked slowly, leaning back in her seat – as if to get comfortable for the upcoming round.

Great, this is gonna be painful.

An excited squeal across the table startled them both.

No sooner had Shikamaru looked over than Ino had begun waving around a familiar looking book, bouncing on the balls of her feet with a grin.

"Shikamaru!" She hugged the astrology book to her chest. "This is perfect!"

The shadow-nin's mouth pulled into a small smile, which he turned onto Chōji, tipping his head gratefully. The Akimichi saluted with his chopsticks, almost choking on his mouthful when Ino ruffled his auburn hair until the spikes stood on end. She let out a soft little squee, complimenting something shiny that Sakura fastened at her nape.

Chōji's shiny surprise, huh?

Shikamaru smiled and watched Ino set the rest of the presents to one side, Hinata offering to help sort the shadow-nin's gifts from the Yamanaka's.

Shikamaru's expression sobered as he watched. He didn't entirely understand why anyone had bothered with him. He wasn't into birthdays and if not for Ino, he'd probably have slept through the day. The Yamanaka, however, was enjoying the chance to indulge herself and her current treat was the weird book she'd wanted. She flitted around the table with it, flipping it open to relevant pages, taking down dates of birth and dishing out destinies according to the text.

At least she's enjoying herself…

Shikamaru's eyes strayed to the door, narrowing.

Asuma hadn't come back. When Ino had, her smile had been a little too bright, her readiness to put her focus onto anything and everything a little too eager.

What the hell happened?

She hadn't even bugged him about his dumb hat until she'd almost sat on it. Without thinking, he nudged it a little further under the table. Akamaru nudged it back with a grumble and nipped his ankle.

Shikamaru jolted and cracked his knee into the table.

Temari looked across suspiciously. "Getting flighty, Nara?"

"Tch." Shikamaru scowled down at the muzzle peeking out from under the table, sniffing for treats. "Troublesome."

Akamaru ducked out of sight just as attendants swept in to clear away dishes and make room for desserts. As the table cloth changed colour so did the lights, tinting to warm, honey hues to keep an illusion of sunset in the bosom of the room.

Sunset…

The thought gave Shikamaru pause for thought. But then it brought to mind the memory of a burning sunset two weeks ago and the following dawn that had left him cold. Pale eyes flashed in his minds eye, forcing him to slam a door on the memory.

Not now…be here…

Bringing his focus onto 'being in the moment', it occurred to him suddenly that he actually had no idea what time it was.

That hadn't happened in weeks.

Two weeks…

"Two weeks away and he wants another mission. What do you think?"

What did he think?

Now, there was a query that always had Kakashi's visible eye drifting off to the corner, seeking something just to the side of the question. His lashes came down a little, then pressed shut as he smiled on the surface, lips set tight beneath his mask.

"I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer that."

"No one is more qualified than you," Tsunade argued, smacking the backs of her fingers atop the scroll spread across her desk. "Hyūga's up to his Byakugan eyeballs in missions. He's snapping up the A-ranks left, right and centre."

"He's driven," Kakashi supplied, hooking his right index finger into the top of his mask to scratch the bridge of his nose. "Ask Gai."

"I'm asking you."

"I'm not his sensei."

"But you were ANBU."

Kakashi stopped scratching and slid his finger along the seam of his mask until it hit his lopsided hitai-ate. He gripped the metal plate, tilting it until the steel caught the light, gleaming brighter than a newsflash.

"Not anymore," he stated quietly.

Tsunade let out a long rush of air through her nose. "Kakashi."

Oh, he knew that tone. It was the drop in octave that Tsunade took when she curved her temper as hard as a shepherd's hook, ready to herd the black sheep back to the flock.

Said black sheep blinked his grey eye at her impassively.

Tsunade sighed again, her frustration carrying into the rigid tap of her fingers as she looked back at the scroll. She swept her gaze over the prioritised A-Rank missions, all listed with Hyūga Neji's name beside them.

Kakashi's eye narrowed a little.

Hmn. He's certainly collecting his credits…

Or at least, to the untrained eye, it appeared that way. However, Kakashi's eyes were anything but untrained. Beneath his hitai-ate, his eyelashes flickered and the skin tensed around his Sharingan orb. It wasn't always about what one could physically see. Where ANBU was concerned, it was always about what lay beneath the surface.

The unknown and the unseen, the unspoken and the unheard.

The underneath.

This was ANBU's forte.

In the Black Ops nothing was to be taken at face value. The masks were a clear enough sign of that. Kakashi sure as hell knew a mask when he saw one and Neji's wasn't fooling him for a second.

You're not ready, Hyūga.

"Maybe I hedged my bets too soon, all things considered," Tsunade said suddenly, drawing the copy-nin from his musings. "I don't think he's ready."

"Perhaps you should ask Shikamaru," he said.

Tsunade looked up sharply, bisecting the diamond on her forehead with a dark line as she frowned. "You know I can't do that. You're not even supposed to know about any of this."

Kakashi shrugged, tipping his head against the angled fall of his hair. It's not as if he'd asked to be in on the secret, if that's what it was. He'd honestly wanted no part in the conspiracy.

Shikamaru was Asuma's student.

Neji was already a Jōnin.

The math was simple, the answer obvious.

This has absolutely nothing to do with me. And it should stay that way.

However, the idiot-proof logic hadn't stopped Tsunade from asking him to solve some puzzles he considered way beyond his Jōnin jurisdiction. When she'd called him into her confidence two weeks ago, he'd prepared himself for anything within Naruto's sphere.

He certainly hadn't foreseen anything to do with some recent mission in Hanegakure.

Or Hyūga.

That had hooked Kakashi's interest, mostly because he hadn't seen it coming.

Neji had always been on the periphery of Naruto's world, striking Kakashi as somewhat of a distant planet, unreachable and cold with few signs of life behind guarded, haunted eyes. But then, the Hyūga's world was alien to the other Chūnin. He was the only Jōnin among them and he kept a very broad orbit, unlike those close to Naruto.

Kakashi's eye glazed with consideration, softening a little.

The Jinchūriki had become a source of warmth and light for those drawn to him. He remained as constant and giving as the sun, always promising to rise again, no matter how dark or hopeless the night seemed.

I'm waxing lyrical about my student…god, I'm sounding like Gai…

And shit, if that wasn't one hell of a disturbing thought.

Kakashi might have shuddered if his spine hadn't tightened at the sound of approaching footsteps. Judging by the pace and the easy roll of the step, he knew who it was seconds before the knock came.

Tsunade quickly furled up the scroll, her eyes flitting from the door to Kakashi. "I want you to keep any eye on him."

"Both eyes, or just the one?" He cocked his head innocently.

Tsunade shot him an exasperated look, then shouted toward the door. "Come in!"

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder as the knob turned. The door creaked open just enough to reveal the shinobi who'd bumped it open using his hip. The man's hands were occupied, lighting up a cigarette.

The smoke drifted into the room, but Asuma made no move to step inside.

Kakashi twisted his torso around, simultaneously granting Tsunade a better view of the bearded Jōnin leaning in the doorway.

"Asuma," she said. "What is it?"

Kakashi already knew his business wasn't with Tsunade; just the way Asuma was standing was enough to translate the lack of urgency. But when those bronze eyes turned towards him, the copy-nin sensed something tense beneath the relaxed surface.

"Need to borrow Kakashi. Hope I'm not interrupting."

"We're done," Tsunade said, finalising the words by firmly shutting the drawer of her desk. "Kakashi, I'm counting on you."

Kakashi nodded, looking to Tsunade out the far corner of his eye. "I understand."

And I don't like it…

He had no desire to step on Asuma or Gai's toes as far as their students were concerned. He wasn't overly concerned about Gai - Asuma however, was anything but predictable when it came to his Team. It was a curious quirk that only Kurenai could tease the Sarutobi about; anyone else risked severance of balls by trench knife.

Becoming a eunuch was not on Kakashi's 'things-to-do-before-I-croak' list.

On that morbid thought, he approached the doorway. "Borrow me?"

"Your brain," Asuma tipped his head toward Kakashi's hitai-ate, smiling. "Not my fault the rest of you comes with it."

"No, that's just your good fortune." Kakashi closed the door behind him and paused to adjust his hitai-ate over his Sharingan eye, trying to ignore the sharp twinge in the optic nerve.

Asuma made note of the unnecessary adjustment, guessing at the source. "Paining you again, huh?"

Kakashi dismissed it with a shrug, his tone changing to something cooler. "It comes and goes."

The flat drop in his voice was enough for Asuma to take the hint. The Sarutobi headed the conversation down a different path using the easiest vehicle – humour.

"Yeah? When will the time come when the Ninja Cyclops look goes?" Asuma teased, indicating Kakashi's mask with a brush of his fingers along his bearded jaw. "One of these days, Hatake…"

Kakashi's grey eye glinted with amusement. "It won't happen in your lifetime."

Asuma laughed, lazing into a walk beside the other Jōnin as they headed down the corridor towards the mansion's exit. "Too bad for you I plan on sticking around until you're too ugly to bother hiding it anyway."

Kakashi chuckled, the sound playing through the thin fibres of his mask as they stepped out into the cold night air, the bite of frost like a blade across skin. They paused at the top of the walkway, both leaning into the railing as they surveyed the village and took in the view.

Stars held like raindrops in the darkness, shimmering.

Peace rained instead; a quiet, companionable silence, broken only by the drizzle of sound carrying from the village below.

Kakashi only turned his head when ash and embers dusted the air, flaking off like dying sparks from Asuma's cigarette as the Sarutobi moved to hang his forearms over the railing. His smoke was followed by the waft of both their breaths, drifting away into nothingness.

"So…" Asuma began, trailing off awkwardly, his voice gruff and uncertain.

"So…" Kakashi echoed.

There was silence for a moment.

Asuma blew a smoke-ring skyward. Kakashi watched it wobble and break.

"I think we'll need a drink for this," Asuma decided.

Okay…

Kakashi turned his back to the village, bracing his elbows on the railing as he looked across, assessing Asuma out the corner of his eye.

"That bad?" he asked, casual as ever.

A long pause and a stream of smoke later, Asuma hummed.

"Well…there's a strong possibility that in about 9 months, I'm going to become a mass murder," he said. "And I'm going to need your help burying some bodies."

Kakashi blinked, staring ahead for a long moment. "Drinks. You're buying."

The hats were back.

Kiba, Chōji and Naruto had donned the stupid things to commence a game of Pop the Balloons via head-butts. Shikamaru had managed to escape the madness by playing umpire with Temari. He'd lost track of who was in the lead, his attention drifting and dividing itself between conversation with the Suna kunoichi and Ino's current fixation with Shino.

The shadow-nin's features hinted at a smirk.

Ino was deep in the fortune-telling throes of enlightening the insect-handler to all elements of his altruistic Aquarian nature. To Shikamaru's amusement, the Aburame actually seemed interested in what the Yamanaka was saying, offering his circumlocutory replies with actual gestures instead of robotic nods.

Shikamaru had to smile at that.

Ino sat like a queen, crowned with her purple-striped hat, holding court not only with Shino, but with some of the attendants who she'd also offered to interpret signs for. In the background, Shikamaru spied Sakura and Hinata dipping in and out of the room, the latter sporting a smudge of flour across her chin.

If there's a cake, I'm not singing.

Temari followed his gaze, then looked back to the balloon game going on. "How's your mother?"

The query had him glancing across warily. "Loud. Violent. Like most women I know."

Temari smirked, her eyes on the balloons.

Not wanting to know what had prompted that question from her, Shikamaru took the opportunity to push back from the table and cup his side, pretending to stretch. A wince pulled at the corners of his eyes as his ribs gave a faint twinge.

Damn.

Several intense treatments of curative chakra had healed the fractures in under a week, leaving only a tender ache behind. Sometimes, in his weakest moments, he wondered if it wasn't behind his ribs that he was feeling the pain. Every time he woke at 4AM he'd graze his fingers over the scar, his mind on a different wound altogether.

Change the thought.

Distraction came with desserts.

Servers swept around the table, offloading plates, all stacked and balanced expertly on wrists, forearms and fingertips. The array of confectionary was as colourful as the party hats Ino had commissioned. A rainbow assortment of delicacies that immediately made the shadow-nin crave a coffee blacker than the look he sent Akamaru when the dog came crawling over to him under the table looking for a handout.

"No," Shikamaru crossed his arms atop the table, trying to ignore the whining puppy-eyed look. "Go bug Kiba."

Fortunately, Ino tempted the mutt away with a rice cake, taking her seat beside the shadow-nin, zodiac book cradled in her hands like some holy tome. "Your turn, Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru winced, sensing attention beginning to shift as everyone began to group closer around the table, ready to get in on the desserts. He waited for the majority of focus to shift solidity onto the food as Ino flicked through her book.

He shook his head. "I'll pass on the fortune telling, thanks."

"No way," Ino thumbed through the pages, flicking forward then back again before smacking the book down on her lap. "Trust you to be a special case. You're on the cusp, lazybones. Know what that means?"

Shikamaru searched the table for coffee. "I'm sure you'll tell me."

"It means you have a mix of both signs either side of your birthday," the kunoichi explained, popping a sweet into her mouth and dusting her fingers together to rub away the sugar-powder. "Virgo and Libra."

"That was it!" Chōji shouted, pointing across with sudden comprehension.

Amused, Shikamaru glanced between them, smiling uncertainly.

"Virgo and Libra…" he echoed with as much disinterest as he could muster, trying to mask his vague sense of curiosity about the stupid book and the crap he imagined was in it. "So what?"

"So wait a second and I'll tell you," Ino muttered as she began speed-reading, thumbnail sailing across lines of text, feeding her excitement as she digested the information. She then began listing traits as she went. "Shrewd and analytical, check. Critical of others, check. Addictive tendencies, hmmn…" Ino trailed off for a moment, searching for something more interesting. "Ooh! It says if you've got a bit of Libra in you it means you must have a romantic side!"

Shikamaru's eyes rolled upward then drifted shut.

Of all the troublesome, uncomfortable, awkward things to bring up.

Stupid book.

Temari's gaze flicked across, a delicate chuckle tumbling into her teacup as she took a quick sip to muffle her amusement. Shikamaru scowled, panicked internally and immediately reached for something – anything – to press to his mouth before it could turn down in a frown. He reached for the nearest tray of drinks, grabbing warm ceramic and snatching it up so fast that he almost spilt the contents.

Slow down.

"Shikamaruuuu," Ino cooed.

Frowning, the shadow-nin slanted away from her. "No."

"Yes. So, you have a romantic side…" she began, trailing off in a way that suggested she wanted him to complete the sentence.

Screw that.

Shikamaru snorted, sipping something hot and sweet that had his nose wrinkling and his stomach churning. "I don't," he croaked, shoving the drink towards her. "You'll like this."

Ino clapped the book shut, set it down and eyed him intently, looking severe and concerned, ignoring the drink. "So tell me."

"Tell you…?" he licked his lips, tasting honey.

Ugh.

"This romantic side," Ino pressed, adopting a playful, dreamy tone as she rested her cheek in her hand, elbow propped on the book. "Anyone special ever brought it out?"

Shikamaru cringed inside, more for the reason that he could feel Temari flexing her fingers like claws across the table, ready to sink her nails and teeth into this topic just to see him squirm. He searched for another distraction until his gaze hit on what looked like green tea.

Tasteless and clear, with a hint of something bitter.

How appropriate.

Hinata noticed his look and filled a cup, passing it across to him.

He took it with a tight smile. "Thanks."

Ino prodded him in the ribs again. "Well?" she wheedled.

"Drop it," he muttered. "I'm not a girl, you're not gonna get some sappy confession."

Ino pouted, looking at him with something close to pity. "Aaaw, no romance? But you have had…" she trailed off, lowering her voice with a slow smirk. "Well…you know?"

Shikamaru froze, fingers tightly gripping the cup. "Ino…" he warned.

"Aaw, come on. You can't be a 'virgo' Virgo," she whispered.

"What the hell is a 'virgo' Virgo?" Shikamaru growled, uncomfortable as hell and cursing himself for even asking.

"A virgin," Temari chirped, smiling sweetly.

Shikamaru barked a flat, humourless laugh that hurt his lungs it was so forced. "We're not talking about this." He quickly took up the tea. "Change the topic."

"Shikamaru…" Ino whispered, staring at him like a kid in the middle of a suspense story, hanging off every word he wasn't saying. "Does that mean you've…you know?"

Shikamaru stared into his teacup, shaking his head. How the hell had the conversation swung onto this territory without him fielding the landmine way before it got the chance to blow up in his face? He sat stiffly, tense and tormented for the full five seconds it took for Temari to supply another answer.

"Oh sure he has," she confirmed in a velvety tone.

"Temari," he dropped his voice a dangerous notch, face drawn with discomfort.

"I'm doing my worst, Nara, just like you said."

Shit.

"Wait…" Ino gasped, her finger swinging between them. "No way! You! And you!"

Shikamaru sighed, scattering steam into his own face as he clanked his teeth to his cup, almost biting down on the rim. If only the tea was toxic. Poison would be a quicker death than the slow one playing out now.

"Oh please, nothing like that," Temari assured, watching him as she addressed Ino. "I suppose I'm just the matchmaker."

"How about you don't help me out ever again?" Shikamaru muttered, letting the bitter taste of the tea dance along his tongue.

"Oh I don't think I needed to, did I?" Temari simpered, drawing out the words more to hook Ino in than to catch Shikamaru out – clearly enjoying her part in making him suffer. "If I recall, you helped yourself like a kid in a candy store."

He looked away from her with a derisive snort, heat rising to his cheeks. "This conversation isn't gonna happen."

"Shikamaru!" Ino smacked him with the back of her hand. "Have you been seeing someone in Suna?"

Temari hummed, another calculated sound. "Oh he gave someone a good 'seeing' to."

Kiba looked up, catching onto the four key words "a good seeing to" and doing his own male maths without effort. "Oi, Shikamaru!" he grinned. "What's this?"

Fuck.

Shikamaru shot Temari an incredulous glare, his brain halting for a moment as he processed the dirty game she was playing. "You better not go there."

She ignored the grit in his tone, scraping him back with a tongue as dry as sand, letting grains of tension fill the space between them. "Let's see if Shikamaru can remember her name."

God dammit.

Ignoring the warm tendrils of a blush cresting his neck and crawling hotter across his lean cheeks, he shot Ino a narrow glare.

"Ino. Move on," he warned.

"But!"

"Move. On."

Temari moved in instead, stroking her fingertips across the rim of her cup in slow circles, a look of remembrance etching into her face, designed to exaggerate the moment.

"Don't be so shy, Shikamaru. There were no complaints, if that's what you're worried about."

"Shikamaru!" Kiba barked, smacking his fist on the table and dragging his butt across three seats without standing, inviting himself into the conversation. "You did the dirty with someone in Suna!"

Shikamaru closed his eyes like a man in deep, physical pain. "Thanks. Maybe you wanna raise your voice a little louder and broadcast it to the entire village."

Ino smacked him hard enough to jolt his eyes open. "You can't even remember her name!"

"Don't be so hard on him," Temari defended, then added, "he had a few names to remember."

Shikamaru closed his eyes again.

I fucking knew this would come back to bite me in the ass…

Kiba whistled. "No way!"

"Shikamaru!" Ino gasped, smacking him again. "More than one!"

"Would you quit hitting me?" he growled, wanting nothing more than to hit something himself – ideally, a bottle of strong saké.

Kiba laughed, appraising Shikamaru with blooming respect – the kind that came from one male acknowledging another's prowess on the battlefield of the bedroom.

"Well shit, Nara. You got your own harem or something?"

Shikamaru rubbed a hand across his face, not even bothering to respond to that. He looked across at Temari with slit-eyed irritation. She was going to milk this moment for all it was worth and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

"Happy?" he growled wearily.

Temari hummed and gave a little shiver. "Tingly."

"Shit!" Kiba snapped his fingers, his voice gaining volume enough to begin attracting more attention. "You didn't deny it! A harem? You dirty sleaze. But it's kind of brilliant."

Shikamaru kept his eyes on Temari. "Is this your payback?"

Temari hummed again, a long, savoury sound. "Absolutely."

"Payback?" Sakura asked, turning in her seat as she caught onto the vibe buzzing around Shikamaru's end of the table. "Payback for what?"

Screwing up. Literally…

Kiba set an elbow down and leaned in, eyebrows bobbing. "How many, Nara?"

"How many what?" Naruto chimed.

"Shikamaru's got a harem back in Suna."

Temari frowned. "Do you mind? I happen to know those sisters."

Ino gasped, mouth dropping open wider than the hole Shikamaru wished would open up beneath his chair. It didn't help that Kiba was shaking his head and staring at the shadow-nin with a reverent kind of amazement so close to hero-worship it was traumatising to watch. He gaped at Shikamaru as if seeing him in a new light.

"How the hell can a lazy ass like you handle more than one?"

"At the same time," Temari added.

"And SISTERS!" Ino wailed in his ear.

Shikamaru jerked his shoulder. "Why the hell are you yelling? I'm right here!"

"I can't believe you!" She smacked him as he reached for his tea, sloshing some over the table. "Handling more than one girl at one time!"

"Like his drinks," Temari went on conversationally. "Although he handled the women better, if I recall."

Shikamaru clapped his teacup down hard. "I can handle my drink just fine…" he cut off here, quickly backtracking. "If I was drinking…which…I wasn't…" he trailed off lamely.

"Because that would be illegal," Sai added unhelpfully. "So is prostitution in many countries."

Shikamaru stared at Sai with a look that screamed "the fuck?" and just shook his head.

"What the hell?" Kiba laughed. "Where'd that come from?"

"My book," Sai explained, hefting up a bag he'd brought with him. "I have several."

"On prostitution?" Kiba couldn't resist shooting Shikamaru a razzing grin. "Might come in handy with your harem, Shikamaru."

"Harem…" Sai echoed, looking to Shikamaru. "Is harem a euphemism for prostitution?"

Shikamaru pressed a fist to his mouth and pleaded for the strength not to injure someone before he sensed Temari's eyes tracing over his exasperated face.

She chuckled wickedly. "Does it hurt?"

"Want me to grab the body bag so you can zip me up while you're at it?" Shikamaru growled, gesturing around the table to indicate the spectators witnessing his humiliation and torture. "You can stop now. The damage is done."

"But they haven't finished digging your grave yet." Temari reached across to pick up a glazed chestnut between her fingertips. "I just gave them the shovel."

"Yeah," he drawled, watching her bite into the roasted nut. "Your hands are totally clean."

"Mmn." Temari brushed flecks of honey from her lips and sucked each fingertip, shrugging. "Well next time you'll think twice about being a brat and running off to do naughty, scandalous things, won't you, genius?"

Shikamaru tensed at her rich chuckle, the sound vexing him further due to the irritating stir that it tickled low and hot in his stomach – in no way helped by the flick of her tongue across her fingertips, cat-like and curling.

He looked away.

This sucks in so many ways.

Add to this moment all the fractured memories of the night coming back to haunt him – and the girls he'd spent it with. He had vague recollections of dark, tumbling hair and pale, olive-green eyes – times two.

Sisters? Shit…maybe I was seeing double and it was just the one…

"Shikamaru, I really hope Temari's joking." Ino slumped in her chair, cupping her cheeks as if to hold her head straight while she tried to weed fact from fiction, weighing up the dirt dished out on his disreputable behaviour. "Were you actually drunk?"

Horribly, horribly drunk.

The shadow-nin cringed, not even wanting to think about that night and his non-existent morals at the time. He sure as hell hadn't been thinking clearly before he'd hit the saké bottles – hard. Being thrust back into the deep end with Daimyo's hunting and circling him like sharks had done it. His mind had taken a dangerous twist that almost turned into a tailspin.

Yeah, so you drank yourself into a coma...and two girls…sisters…god…

The hangover hadn't been fun, especially playing proctor the next day.

Idiot.

Another violent nudge brought him back from his thoughts and he gazed longingly at the exit, estimating how many ways he could reach it without being tackled by Ino or bulldozed by Chōji.

Someone kill me…

"Well? Were you drunk?" Ino pressed. "Because if you were—"

"I wasn't drunk," he lied.

I was plastered all over the damned floor.

"So does sand really get in all the wrong places?" Naruto joked, scrunching his face to one side in preparation for a hit when Sakura raised a fist threateningly.

"Man, I think you learned fast about all the right places," Kiba laughed.

"And just how many places?" Ino growled, snapping back from whatever calculations she was doing. "Let me get this straight in my mind. You got drunk and then you—!"

"First off," Shikamaru cut in, eyeing her sharply. "It's none of your business. Second. No. I didn't get drunk."

Temari snorted.

"Yeah, you got lucky instead!" Naruto shouted, highlighting the most significant point to every male on the table – though Sai looked confused.

Kiba reached across to clap the shadow-nin on the shoulder. "Gotta hand it to you Shikamaru, you've proved yourself. Getting drunk and doing the dirty with a duo. You're more of a dog than I am."

"Duo? What about the rest of the harem?" Naruto snickered, guarding his face with his arms when Sakura tried to get a hit in.

"Oh yeah, just how many was it again?"

Shikamaru sighed as he was jostled from side to side by random punches and smacks on the shoulder.

He shot Temari a withering glance from beneath his lashes. "Thanks for the complete character assassination. Are you done yet?"

Temari looked around at the shocked or smirking faces and blushing or glaring women, taking in the full measure of the shit storm she'd blown his way. "Mmn. Pretty much. I'm so glad I introduced those girls to you." She raised her cup in a toast. "Happy Birthday."

"So it's true! I can't believe you!" Ino slugged him hard. "Next you'll tell me you're doing drugs!"

"I'm not doing drugs."

Kiba laughed. "Man, who cares? He's doing half of Suna."

"Be careful dog-boy," Temari growled.

Kiba rolled his eyes. "What, he's doing you too?"

Silence.

Shikamaru very slowly pressed his face into his palm, sinking deeper into his chair with a sigh. Temari, just as slowly, pivoted in her seat until her gaze hit on Kiba as hot and hellacious as a building sandstorm.

"What did you say to me?" she hissed.

As everyone shifted their attention onto Kiba's imminent castration, Shikamaru quietly shifted his attention towards the door. He leaned back, lifted his hips and began to shimmy across the seats, aiming to slink away.

Ino hooked his arm and yanked him back. "Oooh no you don't! No sneaking off! So now you have to tell me – who was your first kiss?"

Naruto jerked a thumb at Temari. "Not Temari that's for sure."

Temari transferred the threat of castration onto Naruto with a flick of her gaze. "Unless you want your first kiss to be from mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, you'll shut up."

Naruto gulped, leaning across to Shikamaru. "Scary."

"Told you," Shikamaru reminded, yanking his arm back from Ino.

"Too late anyway," Kiba updated. "Naruto's first kiss was a guy."

Temari's brow cut upward, slicing the anger from her face. "Really, now?"

"W-what! No!" Naruto spluttered, waving his hands around in defence. "That was a mistake!"

Kiba shook his head and mouthed. "He loved it."

While Sakura restrained Naruto from vaulting across the table, Ino anchored Shikamaru back into his seat with a firm tug on his arm. "So spill it, deviant one. First kiss. When was it?"

"Back off already," Shikamaru grumbled, dropping his elbows onto the table in a thud, resignation dissolving any real flare in his temper. "I'm not grilling you about your private life."

"What!" Ino smacked a hand to her chest, face darkening with affront. "I tell you everything!"

Shikamaru offered a lopsided smirk. "And we never agreed that was a good thing." He set his temple to his fist and fixed a knowing look on her. "And that's not true."

Ino blinked quickly and looked away , scanning the sweets on the table. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"I don't want to know," he replied, shuttering his chocolate orbs sleepily.

"Well I do!" she argued.

Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut. "Kill me."

"Ne, Shikamaru, relax," Chōji chuckled, munching a rice cake.

"Chōji!" Ino beamed, looking over her shoulder. "You must know who Shikamaru's first kiss was!"

Shikamaru cracked an eye open. "Don't even think about it, seriously."

Chōji nodded solemnly mid-chew. "I won't say anything."

"Chōji!" Ino bristled hotly. "That's not fair! We're a Team!"

"Ino…" Shikamaru sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Was it in Suna?" she pressed, peeking up under his hand.

"Don't bet on it," Temari scoffed.

Ino bolted upright in her seat. "Oh my god before? Was this when you were a Genin?"

Shikamaru chuckled quietly and turned his face into his palm to smother the sound, rubbing his lips. Maybe the absurdity of everything had finally sunk in, or maybe he was just too tired to get angry.

"I'm not gonna tell you, so you can quit asking."

Ino squinted at him critically, flicking him on the cheek. "I'll get you drunk and then you'll spill the beans."

"Bribe him with drugs," Kiba suggested. "He'd go for that."

"For the last time, idiot, I'm not doing drugs."

"Just half of Suna."

Shikamaru's head never made it to the table.

"YOOOOOSH!"

The scream was followed by a blur of green that shot across the room in a dynamic entry launch that took out one of the balloons above Shikamaru's head in a loud 'BANG'. This explosion didn't have shit on Lee's voice when it went off at twice the volume in Shikamaru's ear.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHIKAMARU-KUN! AS OF THIS DAY YOU HAVE BURNED WITH THE FLAME OF 6,205 SUNS!"

Suns-uns-uns-uns…

Shikamaru sat rigid, eyes squeezed shut as he strained to hear beyond the exploding echo of the last word rolling around in his eardrum, followed by the high-pitched ring of his brain tuning back into the laughter in the background.

He vaguely registered Tenten shouting something across the room.

When he cracked his eye open, Lee's thumb was staring him in the face. Cross-eyed, Shikamaru glared at the curved digit and swatted it away with the back of his hand, exposing his eyeballs to the ping of light bouncing off Lee's teeth.

"Lee!" Ino squealed, grinning. "You and Tenten made it for desserts!"

Shikamaru jerked back as Lee vaulted over him to reach the blonde, shoving a bouquet of flowers under her nose with a deep bow. Shikamaru sagged onto his elbows with a grunt.

Great…she gets flowers and I get a fucking perforated eardrum…

Pressing a finger to the hinge of his jawbone, Shikamaru jiggled his chin around, working his jaw against the ringing in his ear. He paused, however, when Naruto's scream went off like a siren, wailing high and low in alternating sonic waves as he ducked and dived around the room like a maniac.

"NOOOOO!"

"Naruto, what the hell is your pro—!" Kiba cut off into a burst of hysterics, stabbing his finger at the orange blur zipping around after the Uzumaki like a super-sized wasp. "No freakin' WAY! It's your LOVEBIRD!"

"GET IT OFF!"

Stunned, Shikamaru dropped his hand away from his jaw, eyes flying wide. "How the hell…?"

Abruptly, his stomach dropped, his chest seized and his attention snapped to the doorway.

His gaze hit on a pair of eyes he sure as hell hadn't expected.

But they weren't the moonstone orbs that had haunted his dreams. No, these eyes were grey and narrower, glinting with suppressed mirth.

"What's wrong with you?" Temari asked, then looked over her shoulder.

Shikamaru blinked hard, his lungs like lead.

Fuck, get a grip…

His chest seized in a jump-start and the air left him in a whoosh, tapering off in a quiet shake from his lips. His mind quickly scrambled for a way to recover. Fortunately, he looked surprised enough to distract from whatever had gripped his expression seconds before he'd realised it wasn't a pale-eyed phantom from his dreams looking back at him.

In an instant, his blasé mask was back.

He dropped back in his chair, lopsidedly slouched. He offered a half-smile, shaking his head as he looked past Temari's shoulder. "You've got to be joking."

The redhead smirked from across the room, raising a hand. "Glad to be the punchline, Nara."

Across the table, Ino and Sakura choked on their drinks at the same time – but for entirely different reasons.

"Hello man meat," Ino purred beneath her breath, eyeing up the muscular protein on display.

Shikamaru scowled, looking across without turning his head. "Ino…" he growled.

With a whip of flaxen strands, Ino dipped a shoulder and swayed her head, exposing the slender curve of neck and shoulder. Shikamaru frowned, watching as her gaze roved over the approaching redhead like the guy was some prize horse she wanted to saddle up with her charms and take for a ride.

This shit has got to stop…

Shikamaru scowled, angled his leg and kicked her under the table. "Grow up."

"Ouch!" she hissed through her teeth, smile still plastered in place. "You jackass."

She tilted delicately, lifted her knee and brought the heel of her shoe down on his foot with all the sadistic power of a sledge hammer.

Pain shot up Shikamaru's instep in a hot rush.

He flinched hard, the chords in his throat locked against a yelp.

Fucking, god damn OW!

Eye twitching and jaw set, Shikamaru calmly set his elbow on the table and pressed a fist to his mouth, knuckles bleached white. Ino snickered as he let out a tight groan against his hand, sucking in a breath to control his reaction.

"Serves you right, you jerk. I hope it hurts."

"It will when I get the feeling back," Shikamaru growled beneath his breath.

Temari glanced at Shikamaru as Hibari moved over. "From your pained expression, I take it you're acquainted with this reckless hothead?"

The Nara wondered at the derisive look she shot Hibari, which seemed to bounce off the redhead straight back at her. "So are you," Shikamaru noted, amused despite his crippled foot.

I can't actually feel it…that can't be good…

He glanced under the table briefly and tried to flex his toes. Akamaru watched him with interest, thumping his tail and whining in sympathy.

The shadow-nin looked up as Hibari moved over.

"Tsubasa," Temari acknowledged shortly.

"Child beater," Hibari returned, tilting his torso in a mock bow.

Shikamaru looked between them, then sat forward and raised up a little, extending his palm at the same time as Hibari to shake hands once over Temari's head.

"Good to see you."

"You too."

"Brought a friend?" Shikamaru glanced at the bird sparring with Naruto as the Uzumaki fenced it's beak with a chopstick.

"Couldn't resist."

"Here for negotiations, huh?"

Hibari nodded. "That's one plan. Might have another in the works."

"Right." Shikamaru arched a brow mentally, but when Hibari's attention shifted across the table, he already knew who the Tsubasa was looking for.

The man was on a deliberate hunt even as he greeted familiar faces. And Shikamaru knew the second Hibari had cornered his prey because Sakura flushed, folded her arms across her body and struggled between a glare and an exasperated huff.

Hibari's smile hit his eyes.

And then came the disastrous moment Shikamaru had predicted.

Ino frowned at the lack of attention she was attracting, then followed Hibari's gaze – straight to Sakura.

The blonde went very still in her seat.

Shit.

Shikamaru sighed, bracketing his brow between thumb and forefinger.

This is gonna be a long night…

TBC.

A/N: Slightly less heavy chapter! Might be a bit of "wtf" going on about Shikamaru's little escapade during the Chūnin Exams in Suna – but writing from this character's perspective is tricky given how he mentally processes or doesn't want to process things – avoidance much? More answers on the way, including Asuma's dilemma. Right – onto a cocktail of more madness and sadness!
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