Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Thus you shall go to the stars	By : drakoniss Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Naruto Views: 3619 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and make no money on the fiction I write.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
"How did you hear about the…. map?"

"A friend.'

"You suck at being elusive, you know."

"I know."

Naruto agreed, resting his head on his knees, falling silent for a while after that. Maybe it had not been such a bad idea to stop.

Shikamaru's voice cracking when he said he could not walk any further lodged in his mind; he would've done almost anything to make it disappear. And he had been – so very tired.

"Some friend."

Shikamaru snorted from the far corner of the cave. He sounded relaxed – livelier; almost like the old times. Having learned to be grateful for small pleasures in life during this journey, Naruto smiled.

"He is a friend."

He still insisted.

"A friend would have given you the map; he would not have taken your eyes for it."

Shikamaru's voice got closer, and Naruto got a whiff of the familiar scent, akin to what blossoming cherry trees spread early in spring; sweetness laced with bitter, tangy and subtle at the same time. He could barely distinguish it though, underneath heavier odor of old sweat, and the ever-present, heady scent of sickness.

"It does not work that way. In order for a map to change hands, one needs to sacrifice something in return."

"And what did your friend sacrificed to get it? His eyes?

"A lot more than just his eyes. "

Shikamaru huffed.

"Are we still talking about the warden, Naruto? You know the guy?"

"He is not the warden; and you know him, too."

It felt nice to be warm, Naruto mused; not walking anywhere for a change, all the motion temporarily seized, as if they have been granted an interlude of sorts. A chance to do something –he had not been exactly sure what, but something important. Settle things between the two of them, maybe, once and for all; ask for forgiveness. Or simply fuck; it's not like Naruto had not been thinking about the latter, relentlessly, since their confrontation on the boat.

"So, you did not save him after all."

Shikamaru's voice rang too calm and measured in the stillness of the cave to be anything but - fake.

"I could not save somebody who did not want to be saved. But I am okay with that, now. I am -sorry for being too busy pursuing the idea of saving him, that I missed you being miserable with me. I could try blaming my obstinacy, or over confidence for that. I never learned how to deal with either… You are the last person in the world I ever wanted to hurt– and I still managed to do just that."

"I was never miserable with you. I…loved you, Naruto. There are always two people to blame, you know."

"I guess we both are…"

"Stupid."

Silver bells of Shikamaru's laughter had been all the answers that Naruto needed to hear. They told him that people made mistakes. That they both made enough mistakes to last a lifetime, but it had not been too late to fix them, as long as they both wanted it. And they both wanted it – he was now sure of it. That Naruto has been forgiven; and that he forgave in return.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just wondering."

"About?"

" If we gonna fuck tonight or not."

"That , I guess, depends."

"On what, honey?'

"Are you… gonna stay with me till the end, Naruto?"

The sense desolation pervaded him and it became hard to breath or think; an utter, bleak despair that overcome his whole being, the undiluted essence of it making him face the possible outcome of their journey. Naruto tilted his head backwards, pressed the eyelids tight sealing the moisture inside.

"Finally taking my offer of forever?"

"I took it the first time; if you did not believe it, you would not be here."

"I had my doubts. But … no –, I will not leave you die alone. If that's what you asking."

"Because you won't die; "

"Then yeah, I guess so. We are gonna fuck."

Naruto felt tired, body and soul, after the mission, exhaustion seeping in through the cracks of an ever-tough exterior. He wanted a nice, long shower, a warm body to curl up next too after going through debriefing and getting back to his lonely apartment; a minimum of six hours of undisturbed sleep. The shower, at least, he had a fair chance of getting.

There was a sound of water running; not that he particularly wanted to see anyone at this hour, but he was not worried about being harassed either. His friends chosen to avoid lengthy conversations over the course of his recent, yet swift climb to power. For the first time in his life, he gave up worrying about it , completely giving up on the idea of acceptance among his peers. Come to think of it, he did not need it anymore. Being the man he has become suited him much better than a man he'd once wanted to be, which, he knew with a hundred percent certainty now, had been a pipe dream from the beginning. This, now, - was fine. Naruto was fine.

It did not hurt that found himself a new best friend; Naruto had been man enough to admit that he started hanging out with Shikamaru because his ass looked amazing in tight fitting inform pants, and the mesh guards made him hot. Not to mention that he always been a sucker for great looking arms, and Shikamaru's seemed to have the best ones he ever seen. They began meeting for a drink after a mission, sometimes, and then Shikamaru taught him to play shogi. Somewhere in between Naruto unwillingly learned what kind of man it took to befriend a lonely outcast he had been all those year ago. A very brave one, at that; sweet, loyal, and pretty much all around utterly self –sacrificing; the one who'd always done the right thing,- no matter the cost.

He saw a green uniform folded on a low bench, mesh guards and black hair tie placed carefully on top. Shikamaru was such a girl, sometimes. Naruto smirked and walked inside the communal room partially dominated by steam from recently ran shower. He halted his step , thinking he should have knocked first, - let his presence known somehow; but he never bothered with things like these before.

Shikamaru did not hear him come in – rising on his tippy toes to get a towel from top shelf, wet hair plastered all over naked shoulders. Lovely view, really – a work of art who's creator had been unmistakably in love with his model.

Boy had a lot of ink on him. On his left shoulder, a beautiful koi fish with a head of a dragon climbed the waterfall that begun at the juncture between the shoulder and neck; long tendons played down the expanse of narrow back with a scarlet row of kanji along the entire the length of his spine ending just above the swell of that gorgeous, gorgeous ass, perfectly round, with more then enough definition. It looked great filling the standard issue uniform pants, but without them – Naruto had no idea anything could ever look that good. Snaking above the flexing triceps broken cherry blossom bands in black ink circled his upper arms, and when Shikamaru turned around he had a smile like the sun.

"Make some noise, or something Naruto. Wanna give a guy a heart tack?"

"I was … waiting."

"For?"

He asked, hands already busy gathering the wet strands to tie it in a low pony tail at the base of his neck; there had been more ink on his abdomen below the bellybutton – honestly, when did he have time for any of that? Another, shorter line of kanji on a place where a lover's trail should be, but Shikamaru seemed to have little to no hair everywhere else but his head, -disappearing behind the wrap of white towel.

"A shower."

"All yours."

He shrugged and sauntered past him moving like a panther, lithe and long limbed, - all too graceful for the man in their line of work.

"One day.' Naruto wowed, watching him go. "One day, you will be."

“

"Naruto. Are you thinking about the showers again?

Shikamaru seemed to stifle a laugh.

"Hmm….how did you know?

"You have idiotic smile on your face and you eyebrows climb up to your hairline."

" It's my ultimate jerk off fantasy, you know." Naruto gave Shikamaru a close lipped kiss enjoying the feel of dry lips against is own, fascinated by the familiarity of the gesture; something he dreamt of doing for the two whole years. "That day, after you left, I stayed in there forever…. "

"Imagined you made slow love to me for hours?"

" I was seventeen."

"Right."

"I imagined that I ripped that towel off, pinned you to the wall and fucked you without stopping to take a breath."

"You should've."

"You'd let me?'

"Maybe."

Shikamaru forced Naruto's lips open with a gentle pressure of his tongue, eyelashes fluttering like a newborn butterfly trapped inside the glass jar against Naruto's heated cheeks.

Who have you been with? "Naruto asked, jealousy suddenly taking root in his heart. "During the past two years…"

" Don't ask - if you don't want to hear the answer."

"I don't." Naruto agreed, grim. "But I still have to ask. Anyone I know?'

Naruto knew a man in love when he saw one; no matter what Shikamaru said trying to prove him wrong, he had always been dead sure Chouji harbored exactly the kind of feelings for his teammate he had been violently against off.

"Nobody you know."

He ached to make him whole again; vibrant, and sassy, and healthy, and alive. Moving his hands searchingly up and down Shikamaru's skinny back Naruto become overcome with a distantly prophetic sensation that his efforts might not bring the desired results; that it would take nothing less than a small miracle to cure Shikamaru's disease; that for all he knew it could very well be the last time for them – to be together.

"Naruto." Shikamaru sighed with just a hint of answering sadness." You soaking my shirt. "

"Sorry." Naruto whispered back. "So, so sorry."

"It's gonna be all right."

"I know."

'We have not got all night. I am kind of beat."

"Way to ruin the mood, Shikamaru."

Naruto drawled and spun him around to face the wall, bracing him against it in a practiced move. Desire came back to him at once, spreading from within in pulsing, velvety ripples, chasing the rest of the thoughts away and out of his head. If it had to be for the last time, he better make I memorable – for both of them.

The strangest thing of all, that as attuned as Naruto had been with Shikamaru's soul, feeling keenly every slight change in his mood throughout this whole trip, he did not feel him - go. Did not feel the string connecting them snap, until the moment that he'd woken up and realized that something had gone horribly wrong; He could only hear the sound of one person breathing, and that person was him, Shikamaru's dark head eerily still in the crook of his arm.

He rearranged Shikamaru's head on the pillow next to his own, carefully gathering loose strands back into the pony tail, as well as he could without being able to see and found the goose down blanket at the foot of the makeshift cot. It's not that he did not understand dead did not feel the cold – it was realization that Shikamaru was really dead he had trouble with.

Numb. He felt numb – devoid of sense of grief, or anguish over his loss. His brain told him he did not register the fact yet, but he would, given time –that it was vital to make the feeling of numbness last for as long as possible.

"I am sorry you did not make it."

The familiar voice commiserated on the left of him, stale air of the cave blowing over Naruto's face when Sasuke sat down next to him, with a sigh.

"How are my eyes working for you, Sasuke?"

He asked in a hollow voice, that sounded strange – foreign even to his own ears, some of the blissful numbness beginning to disappear. Soon, the reality would trickle down his somnolent mind replacing the numbness completely, and then… then he would not care about anything, anymore.

"I enjoy them quite a lot."

"Say… Did you know it was going to be like this? Did you know he would not make it?"

"No; of course not. "

He sounded sincere enough; come to think about it, Naruto did not care one way or another if Sasuke's been telling the truth. It did not make any difference.

"I can help you get back to Konoha;" Sasuke offered after the silence stretched for minutes, and later, hours." I know my company might be not be what you want right now, but you'll never find a way back on your own."

"There is no way bay back. The only way is forward."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want you to help me get to the portal; I still want to go inside."

"Naruto."

"What?"

"I've seen many things – things you have not the slightest clue about; and you're lucky, in that way, because they are not nice things; I've seen far more then you, or probably anyone who ever walked the face of Shinobi world; but I have never seen… or heard… of anyone – who came back from the dead. Would really – want him too?"

"No." Naruto answered, voice raw like the newly torn ligament; oozing pain. "I would not want him too."

"Then… what?"

"I've given my eyes for that map; I still want to ask for my most sacred wish."

"I'll help you. I don't understand why, I will help you get there. I owe you this much."

"What is there to not understand? If you love somebody … you will do anything – anything in the world to be with them. Have you ever loved somebody, Sasuke? Really loved somebody?"

"When I was very young. "Sasuke elucidated. " So long ago that I can barely recall what the whole fuss is about. I do remember feeling pretty shitty when he … left. So yeah, I guess I have had loved somebody; but by the time we got a chance to talk, it turned out to be too late – for both us."

"I thought it was something like that." Naruto decided that he would not cry again – not today. He still had unfinished business to do; miles to walk; a body to carry. "Let's go."

Sasuke had been right – he would not have made it back to Konoha himself; he would not have made it to the portal, either; hell, he could barely make it out of the cave without help – having the burden of Shikamaru's very dead weight on his hands now.

"We'll take turns." Sasuke said simply.

"I thought you only had one leg."

"And a really nice prosthetic other. I am not as weak as I appear- far from it, actually."

Naruto agreed to take what had been offered; he needed all the help that he could get.

"We are here."

"What did you ask from that place… when you went?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I never went."

"You sure went through the hell of a lot of trouble to get your hands on the map; you gave up so much – and you asked nothing? You never went?"

He was glad for Sasuke's company right now – talking kept his thought from running wild; taking over his mind with despair blacker then anything he ever experienced. He would get the mere taste of it; then forced the emotion spiraling stubbornly upwards back into the depth of his soul, willing for it stay put a while longer.

"I never went." Sasuke repeated, softly. "I did not get it for myself, you know. I heard that you were looking for one, so… I got it for you. I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy that had it. He did not need the map anymore; as it turns out, you can only use it once."

"Sasuke…after all these years of me trying to save you… you end up being the one to save me?'

"You can only save somebody who wants to be saved, Naruto. I tried to explain this to you many, many times over - but you never seemed to want to listen. but… its better this way, don't you think?"

"We can go in, together; technically, you can still ask for something; you can – try."

"I've made my peace with my losses. I will get there when I get there; I am… fine. I've done a lot of things I am not proud of, and I need to make them right; You – you go on though.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

"What is that you want most of all, Naruto? What is your most sacred wish?"

"Don't mention it. And… good luck."

And suddenly, he is able to see again; the blindingly white room with a cone shaped ceiling, walls lined with bookshelves, and and bookshelves with books. Half open window with curtains whipping in the wind, through which familiar smells of Konoha and fly away blossoms enter the sleepy realm. They pepper birch floorboards with delicate, pink flowers, and when Naruto's eyes fall over the tousled head making an indent in the pillow, he is lost all the ability to form coherent thoughts.

Broken rays of sunlight wash over the grand bed illuminating sleeping figure with the rippled, golden hue, and a slender body curled in a sleeping position, chest puffing up and down, peacefully, with every breath.

Shikamaru's dark lashes lay deep shadows over the tops of pale cheeks; Naruto can clearly see the corners of the too big for such a fine boned face mouth tremble in the beginnings of a smile. On the twisted to the view left shoulder, brilliantly colored koi is climbing the waterfall. Naruto's eyes glide appreciatively over the line of kanji that slices the narrow back all the way from the cervical to the sacral vertebrae, and the lower part of long body modestly covered by the crispy, white sheet.

"Is that something you had in mind?" Voice, suspiciously similar to Sasuke's, enters his thoughts, neither trying to cajole nor dissuade; simply bemused in its enquiry." Is that where you want to be, Naruto?'

Shikamaru opens his eyes, and blinks, slow smile spreading molasses over the aching muscle below Naruto's breastbone; asking him for nothing, because everything has already been given;

"It's exactly what I had in mind.” Naruto’s own voice sounds like he'd been walking through the desert for days eating nothing but sand that made his throat raw and dried up his vocal cords. He takes Shikamaru's hand into his own feeling the moment still, everything else momentarily fade to the back of his mind. “And this is exactly where I want to be.'
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Thus you shall go to the stars