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Yosougai (Unexpected)	By : ChrisAbi Category: Naruto AU/AR > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 1532 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, sadly that means We do not own it and have gained nothing but personal satisfaction for writing this.

Chapter List
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Shikamaru woke up around noon to the sound of his cell phone ringing. "Yes Neji?" He was still laying face down in the pillow. The cell phone felt welcomingly cold against his face.

"It's noon." Neji had a real knack for stating the obvious.

Shika rolled his eyes. "And?"

"I have some people going to the apartment to help correct the Fashion Nightmare that is Uzumaki, Naruto. I was hoping you would be willing to oversee them. That is, if you are well enough."

Shikamaru snorted. 'Can't come straight out and ask me huh?' "What time?"

"When would you like them there?"

Rolling over and trying to get a feel for just how sore he really was, Shika thought for a minute.

"You're working late tonight aren't you?"

"Something has come up."

"Have them at the apartment around four. Have a car here for me around three. I want supper catered. I want no less than three outfits for me, on you. And you can pay me for my kind disposition later." The smirk was audible through the phone.

Neji smiled. "Yes Denka."

"Oh, you don't have to call me 'highness' and I like to think of you as mine, not me as 'yours'," Shika said with a smile coloring his voice.

Neji actually chuckled into the phone. "That is a matter of perspective Shika, yours and mine."

Neji loved their little word battles. No one else knew just how playful a creature Shikamaru could be. 'I actually like things that way.'

--------------------------

Naruto was no where to be seen when Shikamaru arrived. He headed for the room at the end of the hall to see if Naruto was there. He was there in all his masculine glory doing one arm push ups with a twenty-five pound weight on his back. Shikamaru knew he'd really taken to working out, but he hadn't realized just how far the blond was willing to go.

'Damn. He looks good like that...' Shika watched as the golden body sunk slowly to the floor in a controlled descent, then moved back up just as slowly. The designer slacks the brunette was wearing because of the loose comfort they provided were becoming a bit less comfortable and a little bit tighter as he stood in the doorway. 'Shit... I really shouldn't be liking this so much. It could prove to be real problematic.' Still, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the muscular body straining before him.

When it looked like Naruto was about to finish a set, Shikamaru moved his jacket in front of himself and cleared his throat. Naruto froze. "Neji?"

"Guess again," Shika teased. Naruto exhaled noisily and dropped flat on the floor. "You dead?" Shika asked in a dead pan voice.

Naruto groaned and as he rolled over onto his side the weight on his back clunked onto the floor."You two get off on scaring the hell out of me, don't you?" Naruto growled.

Shikamaru just chuckled at him. 'Don't ask about those things unless you really want to know boy,' Shika thought to himself as Naruto pulled himself onto his feet. 'Damn... that's really nice body you've got there... why the hell are you still single?'

"Come on. Get up and go take a shower. We have company in a half an hour," the brunette said aloud.

"Happy, happy, joy, joy. I get new clothes but no new freedom," Naruto grumbled but obeyed the thin man's orders.

"It could be worse you know?"

"Oh please, how in the hell could it be worse than this?"

"Neji could be picking them out for you and not giving you any say so."

"Point taken, I'll be a good boy," Naruto said while holding up his hands in defeat.

'Oh the ways that could be taken,' Shikamaru thought as he watched the blond walk away 'If topping and cheating wasn't so troublesome I would so tap that ass.'

--------

The arrival of the designer was met with quite a bit of fanfare. All of it self-made. The man was a 'One Person Gay Pride Parade' as Jiraiya would have phrased it. Naruto was completely overwhelmed by the shear volume of junk the man had brought with him. There were seven assistants and two hair dressers, along with a train wreck of racks, boxes, and bags.

"You got a designer to come to the apartment?" Naruto looked at Shikamaru in complete shock.

"Actually, this was Neji's idea. You can thank him later." Shikamaru grinned when Naruto glared at him. "Or not..."

A petite figure directed the three ring circus into position. The man clasped his hands and whirled to face the two of them. He was all in purple and black. Naruto had a sudden flash of an old Prince video and almost cried out in fear. He was sure the man would break out singing 'Purple Rain' any moment now. The dark haired man smiled innocently at them. "Hello, I'm Sai. Which one of you two beauties do I get to dress up?" Shikamaru gave a slight shudder and pointed at Naruto. The blond shot him a deer in the headlights look as Sai latched onto him.

'What the fuck is Neji thinking!?!' Shika could not believe that Neji would pick this guy. His dark eyes narrowed. 'It's payback. I teased him this morning and extorted new outfits out of him, so he gives me 'this' for a designer. Shrewd bastard.'

"Oh my, well you are a beauty. Blond hair, blue eyes, and a body to simply savor, like a fine wine. Oh my, I have been looking for a body like yours for some time. OK, first things first: Strip."

"What?" Naruto asked with a squeak while looking to the brunette for help.

"Well I certainly can't put anything on you when you're already wearing... that... SACK! Where did you get it, the local grocery store," Sai asked while waving his hand dismissively.

"Naruto, why don't you go put on a pair of your shorts. That should be sufficient, don't you think, Sai?" That was as polite as Shikamaru was willing to be. There was no way in hell he was calling this weirdo 'san'.

The fruit gave him an irritating smile. "It will impede the measuring, but if you both have such an archaic sense of modesty it can't be helped." Asuma had been the one to let this side show into the apartment and he was standing just behind the Shikamaru. He felt a definite chill in the air around the younger man as the designer turned to dig necessary items out of a black bag.

'Why the hell am I here again?' The older man wondered exactly which crime Karma was punishing him for now.

---------

"Um, Sai-san. I have a question."

"Hmm?" The man was running his hands down Naruto's ass in the supposed pretense of smoothing the fabric of the slacks.

"Why is everything so tight?"

Sai stepped around to the front and began soothing the fabric there. Naruto actually batted his hands away. "Dude?! Come on! Is that really necessary?!?"

Sai smiled sweetly while answering; "Now now, I wouldn't try to tell you how to do your job Ruto-chan. Please, let me do mine."

Naruto made a face as if he'd just sucked on a lemon, then looked for help.

"When did getting the client hard become standard practice?" Shika asked in a low growl. "I haven't seen that one before. Or are you not professional enough to ensure a proper fit without that?" The situation should have been funny. If it was anyone else, it would have been. 'Well, anyone but Neji...' He tried to tell himself that he was just irritated because the man was so annoying. That only lasted a few seconds. Shikamaru wasn't really one for self-delusion, that was more Neji thing. It took more effort than Shika was willing to put up. 'I like him. Shit. I think I like him in that way... This is going to be troublesome.'

It was the first time Sai did something other than smile. He turned to the other man and started to glare. That is, until his eyes actually met the deep dark burning coals glaring at him. He swallowed hard and nodded amiably. He even managed to behave himself... for a short time that is.

'I need a smoke,' Asuma thought and hit a button on his phone and waited for Raidou to answer.

"Leave the others with the door and come to the living room."

"Yes, Asuma-san." He'd actually brought this one for a reason. Asuma had other duties besides following Neji and Shikamaru around. Raidou had been a bodyguard for one of the other taishou, or bosses, before requesting to be re-assigned. Asuma was hoping that Neji and Shikamaru would get used to the man quickly and he himself could be free of these kinds of details. A bonus was the man was gay, so things that might disturb Asuma's other men wouldn't phase this guy.

Naruto looked up when an incredibly clean cut guy entered the room. He had short brown hair, kind brown eyes, and a scar that monopolized one side of his face. 'It looks good on him,' Naruto couldn't help but think. 'Without it he'd be like anybody else, kinda like Iruka... it makes him noticeable in a good way.' He decided he kinda liked this guy. He often had such instinctual responses to people and was seldom wrong.

The blond gave the new man a warm smile of welcome. It took the man a little by surprise. This day had been full of them. When Asuma leaned down to tell Shikamaru that he was going to take a smoke break, Sai looked up from where he knelt at Naruto's side. He'd been pinning the hem on the elegant black slacks the blond was wearing. He smiled at Raidou. Raidou did not smile in return.

'Doesn't have to be pissy with me,' Sai thought to himself. 'It's not like any of it's my fault.'

"Raidou-san." Shikamaru didn't turn around.

"Yes Nara-sama."

"It's Shikamaru-san."

"Yes, Shikamaru-san."

Raidou watched as Naruto left the room to change into another outfit. Sai looked at Shikamaru and started to open his mouth, but Shika cut him off. "You will call me Nara-sama," he told the designer coldly. Raidou grinned at the look of re-buffed outrage in Sai's eyes. 'They're a lot a like. Both think that everyone should just fall at their feet.'

"If this bastard isn't done in two hours, shoot him."

"Yes, Shikamaru-san. To wound or kill?" Shikamaru didn't see the evil look on Raidou's scarred face.

"Wound his 'pride'," Shikamaru hissed as he started to stand up. Sai's reaction was priceless. Both hands flew to cover his ass. Raidou almost laughed. 'His pride would be a bit different from most men...'

Shikamaru had been sitting for some time and hadn't realized just how stiff his sore body had become. He took a step and pain lanced through him. He stumbled and lost his balance. Raidou was there to catch him. "Shikamaru-san," he cried out as his arms shot out to brace the younger man.

Asuma walked in at just the wrong moment. He saw Shikamaru fall into Raidou's arms. It was an ingrained response, he had a gun in each hand and one was trained on the designer, while the other covered the assistants. Raidou looked up from his charge. "It's not like that," he told his boss.

Asuma was reluctant to lower the weapons, his policy was better safe than sorry. Shikamaru looked up and growled. "Put them away. I lost my balance, nothing more."

The look Raidou gave him told him he wasn't convincing. Shikamaru knew of Raidou's preferences and knew that he'd understand his next order quite clearly. "I'm just sore. Bring me the painkillers from the bathroom in the second bedroom on the right. Blue bottle." Raidou's eyes widened for a moment, then he nodded and let Shikamaru stand on his own.

"Asuma-san, please go check on the caterer. I'll be there in a moment." Asuma barely covered his irritation at being treated like an errand boy before nodding and leaving the room.

"Tell the blond anything about what just happened and I kill you myself," Shika hissed while taking in the entire group of designer and assistants with his glare. Then he followed Asuma out of the room.

-------

Asuma watched as the caterer set everything up. He didn't know how he'd ended up with this particular detail. 'I really am a babysitter, a pretty boy babysitter....' He glared at the lead pretty boy as he picked at a tray of cheese. "Something on your mind Asuma-san?" Shikamaru asked quietly.

"No Shikamaru-san. Not a damn thing." Shikamaru smiled at the other man. He actually liked Asuma quite a bit. He trusted the man with Neji's life and appreciated the man's dedication to duty.

Naruto walked up behind Shikamaru and rested his head on the brunette's shoulder. "This is unreal. How many more outfits am I gonna have to try on? And how in hell can this be so exhausting?"

Shikamaru was momentarily shocked at the physical contact. Naruto really had no sense of personal space or boundaries. It felt oddly good. He smiled softly. "It should be over soon Naru-kun." He patted the rumpled blond head.

Naruto hugged him playfully. "Who you calling 'kun'? I bet we're about the same age."

Shika glared over his shoulder. "And just how old are you, Naru-chan?" he asked sarcastically.

Naruto had been about to let go of Shika. Instead he squeezed the other tightly in retribution. "Twenty-three, but I bet you already knew that... didn't you?"

Shika smiled lazily. "Yup. I'm about a month older than our little Naru-chan."

Naruto's glare turned to a pout. "Geez, you two know everything about me..."

"Not everything Naruto. Just a few vital statistics. You didn't expect Neji to share his home with a total stranger and no Intel, did you?"

Naruto's heavy arms slid away and the blond looked pensive. "No, I guess not. Still, it'd be nice if I had a few clues about you two."

"Neji's twenty-five," Shikamaru said softly. He felt a little guilty. He'd only meant to tease Naruto a little. He hadn't meant to remind him of the difficult situation he was in. "His birthday is July 3rd, mine is September 22nd. If you want to know something, Naruto, just ask. If we can, we'll answer."

The blue eyes met his and his heart almost stopped. 'Not good, not good...' "Thanks, Shika."

"You'd better eat something, before the Purple People Eater gets a hold of you again kid." Asuma was really unsettled by what he'd just witnessed. There was a lot more going on there than meets the eye and he was fairly certain that he didn't want to be in the middle of it.

"Ha, ha!" Naruto laughed. "Good one Asuma-san, but I have a feeling that guy only eats a certain part of people." Asuma gagged a little at the mental image. 'When I get home, Kurenai had better have that red number on. I need to wash out my brain...'

"Naruto darling, you still have a few more outfits to try on," Sai called to him from the other room.

"Speak of the devil... Hold on to your tape measure, I'm coming... I'm coming," Naruto yelled back. "If I'm not out of there in twenty minutes you guys come save me," he added after hearing Sai say 'Not yet you aren't,' to his response.

"Maybe you should go with him Asuma," Shikamaru suggested.

"No way, no how. Last time I was in there Purple pinched my ass... my ass Shikamaru-san. THEN he winked at me. Just thinking of it gives me the creeps," Asuma said with a visible shudder. "Besides, Raidou went back in there after he came in here to check on you. He can handle it."

Shikamaru smiled. He was getting to like Raidou more and more. The man had actually slipped the pill bottled into Shikamaru's pocket without anyone noticing. Something told Shika that the older man had started his career as a thief, most likely a pickpocket.

~TBC...
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Yosougai (Unexpected)