The Restricted Section

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own the basis for the story idea ‘The Restricted Section’.


The Restricted Section
By 11


Chapter 05

He couldn't believe last night and yesterday. But more than anything, Sasuke could not get through his skull, last night. He had actually said it; the one lie he always thought he'd never tell his partners.

He actually said the three-word abomination.

Dark eyes stared sullenly at the blurry streaky, hand-printed glass window of the bus. What was wrong with him? Of all the lies he could have told he told that one... why? It wasn't his intention, he'd even promised himself, no matter what the lie was he wouldn't lie to someone that he actually cared for them beyond the momentary pleasures they could give him in the sack. Never, and he didn't feel like starting now.

So what could he do? Drop Naruto? Why? He was hot! He was barely even started with him! And he was so shy and cute too. Well, it was just that one time anyway; he'd have to apologize eventually; he was obviously... half-asleep at the time. Everything else was going so well, practically perfect even; he actually wasn't chewing his tongue the entire time waiting for when they could fall into bed. In fact, they only had the date; they never did fall into bed.

Sasuke at least wanted to do that much; at least once, before he discarded the blond. And the reason he said that stupid thing was... the mood, the ambiance, it was all so freaking stupid and bleary and 'perfect', he just blurted it out for no reason. Like those freaky guys in the books who fall in love with girls right and left and wind up never seeing any of them again anyway.

Well! Sasuke wasn't like those freaks, at least up until now he'd never told a lie like "Oh, I love you" to someone. He may have flattered them and told them how wonderful he thought they were, but never that he loved them - the closest he'd ever come was "I like you" and hey, that's one of those phrases subject to change.

Sasuke huffed, and buried his face in his arm, feeling like he had a headache. He really didn't, but at least he could pretend he did to make himself feel better; he really wanted to have a headache after thinking so seriously about something so truly superfluous.

Damn. Now he almost felt bad for not doing this seriously. It's not like he meant what he said last night, he figured. Naruto was fun to be with, and he was definitely hot, but that didn't constitute love. He couldn't exactly take it back now, but maybe he could pretend it just never happened, and if it ever does come up... well his reputation as the world's biggest asshole would just rise up a few more notches - what was the difference anyway really.

He liked his precedents, but eventually it probably wouldn't gotten broken somewhere anyway. Instead he simply resolved to never say the three-word abomination again and go ahead with his life. He needed to move on and end this thing with Naruto too, he knew it better be soon too.

It'd be terrible if he turned Naruto into some sort of clingy obsessive person over him; though he'd dealt with it before. Naruto wouldn't be much different, but then Naruto didn't seem like that type either... but who knew.

It didn't matter either way. Things would work out for him; Sasuke had the devil's luck - and his supremely good looks apparently.

Rising his head again a few more people had gotten on the bus, some had gotten off, there was only one old lady at the front and a girl sitting just a short ways away. She looked kind of familiar from the back; did he know her? Maybe he'd slept with her at some point.

As if sensing that she was being watched, she turned to look at Sasuke. Shining emerald eyes locked with unperturbed onyx. Her pink hair was short now, but it was the same fair-skinned smiling girl who Sasuke had banged only a few nights ago before tearing her happy life with him to shreds.

Shit. Sasuke hated running into ex’s. Sakura's eyes widened as she realized it was Sasuke. She turned back around and seemed like she was going to ignore him for a moment; and then she got up and went to sit by him.

Sasuke could have puked on her; just to make her go away. But he hadn't eaten at Tsunade's yet and thus had no food in his belly to wretch on the girl. It would have been not classy anyway, so he probably wouldn't have. Even if he could vomit on demand.

"I haven't seen you in four days." she finally spoke, she wasn't hysterical or angry at least; lot of good that was. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and wished that the stupid woman would just go away. "How have you been?"

"Good. Good. A lot better since I dropped you;" he said coldly glancing sidelong at her. "You're still a complete eyesore. Why are you talking to me, ugly?"

Sakura stiffened but then forced herself to relax; she looked like she was going to cry. But she was stupid for willingly submitting herself to this abuse. It was her fault for being such an idiot.

"I..." oh shit she was crying now. Perfect. "I loved you Sasuke. I... after you left, it's been..."

She buried her face in her hands. Sasuke felt like hitting her. Was his break-up with her not good enough? She actually just wanted to sit here to try and talk to him when he made it very clear he despised her? Or was this her innocent way of trying to get revenge? Ooh, clever girl; trying to guilt him into being nice to her. Well it is not working, foolish female!

"Would you shut up, and go cry on someone else?" Sasuke growled, "You'll get my shirt wet, idiot."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head sadly, unable to meet his eyes. She moved to try to lean on him, to touch his hand but he withdrew it, and gave her a look ferocious enough to send summer and spring and all things pretty and cute into a hole for the rest of the duration of the universe.

"I... I really thought I loved you."

"Sorry," he said snidely, not really sorry. "I don't feel anything for you." he told her; he never did; he thought about telling her but didn't feel like talking to her more than necessary.

She silently sat by him for three more stops before she muttered goodbye and got off at her stop. She gave him one last sad look before they were gone from each other's sight. Finally! Sasuke thought, he'd missed his stop thanks to that girl, now he had to circle back around to get to the diner! Stupid woman, invading his life!

Now he felt depressed, and it was all her fault. Stupid girl; couldn't even hate him, just too good for that; he hated those types the most. Now his conscience decided to rear its ugly end. Why didn't that thing die a long time ago? It really should have, it'd make things so much easier for him.

Stupid.

`

"WHAT?!"

"He told him he was fat?"

"Yup."

Shikamaru just stared, Temari's eyes wound upwards in disgust; Sasuke was terrible! That didn't sound like a normal date of Sasuke's!

"Wow..." Temari breathed. "Sasuke, way to woo your date!" she shook her head and Hinata grinned in agreement.

Tsunade's diner was pretty packed around lunch-time but the three of them always seemed to get a table before there were none left.

"I thought it was pretty stupid too." Hinata said, "He also managed to get Sasuke to talk about likes and dislikes; from the sounds of it they might have had a normal conversation half the time."

"What about that instance sounds normal to you?" Shikamaru questioned, arching his eyebrow at the dark-haired girl.

"Well he got him to discuss his food preferences even, clothes, movies, music, everything," Hinata explained her query, "Pretty weird, huh?"

"I'd say." Temari at least agreed, "Most of the time Sasuke is so busy making his partner so uncomfortable and aroused that he can't keep them off him."

"I'm just glad that Naruto can hold his own against that demon." Hinata breathed, taking a drink of her soda, looking fairly smug with herself, satisfied; their plan was working beautifully, almost better than they had anticipated.

"Speaking of demons, there's the devil himself." Shikamaru said dourly as Sasuke entered the diner. The dark-haired youth stopped by the front desk to beg Tsunade for a malt, but she wouldn’t. The woman was still being cold ever since hearing Sasuke had caught himself a new fish and was in the process of reeling in.

Said whining youth slid languidly into the booth next to Temari with an exasperated groan. "Didn't get any." Temari stated more than asked.

"Shut up." Sasuke frowned, "I'm hungry. Tsunade won't feed me."

"Gee I wonder why."

"Shino!" Hinata chirped happily, jumping up to accidentally kill the sunglass-wearing dude with a tight and happy hug. "Hey, it's been so long! Where were you, did your spiders kidnap you?"

"No, the scorpions did." Shino explained; pride stopping himself from explaining to Hinata that if she didn't let go soon his head would fall off his shoulders and he would die, and it would be all her fault.

Actually it would be all Temari's fault for not keeping a leash on the girl, and that it was really Temari's death gaze that kept him from telling Hinata to let him go. Thankfully the girl did not need any incentive to release him beyond that of his resident insect-er, reptile? Amphibian?

"OH MY GOD!!" Hinata yelped and leapt back when a blue-green gecko started to crawl out from Shino's pitch-black excellent-hiding-spot-for-weird-critters hair.

"This is Ed," Shino explained, "Gaara got him at the petstore under Tenten's suggestion, and then he dumped him on me, since he didn't know what he eats."

Shino turned to Shikamaru, and the lazier of the two wondered why he suddenly felt like running for the hills. "Shikamaru, will you take care of him for Gaara? I don't want to anymore; he keeps eating all my flies."

"That's a good thing." Temari pointed out.

"No it's not. I need the flies for my mantis'." Shino explained. "Besides do you have any idea how long it took me to build up a good fly colony?"

"Yeah, take a rotting banana to the park and it thrives forever." Shikamaru told him, managing to glare without really meaning to.

"Would you take him Sasuke?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely not!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want a gross slimy thing crawling in my hair." Sasuke snapped, "It's gross! Besides my sex appeal might go down; or worse Naruto would pay more attention to it than me."

"Naruto?"

"My new toy."

"So you admit he's a toy." Hinata asked frowning. She rather liked Naruto; why did it have to be him? Why couldn't Sasuke have gone for a nice jerk, not a nice nice jerky-not-so-jerky person like Naruto? It wasn't fair. If only Sasuke could have picked another moving thing to date; like Ed.

"Aren't you all?" Sasuke asked looking shocked and slightly offended. Oh yes, important fact about Sasuke number one: the world is his oyster. No that's Ein, Sasuke is: the world is his fucking toybox.

He can undress all the barbies he wants, make them fuck all the Ken's he wants and if he wants them to go riding a pony naked, then they all go riding ponies naked. If he wants to take them downstairs to the kitchen and put chocolate sauce on them and tell his mom it's poo just to make her scream; he can do it and he'll get away with it. Yes there are a few consequences but when the world revolves around Sasuke Uchiha it's really all very worth it.

"So what's the new toy like?" Shino asked, sitting down next to Shikamaru, forcing three people onto the booth. "Do you think he'd like to take care of Ed?"

"Does he even know Gaara?" Temari returned frowning.

"Does it matter?"

"I don't want to talk about Naruto," Sasuke scowled, as he sat upright and grabbed Hinata's fries and started eating.

"Why? What about the mandatory boasting period?" Shikamaru asked, for the benefit of Shino who had not yet met Naruto.

"Not today, I just ran into Sakura a while ago on that stupid bus." Sasuke grit as he chewed Hinata's fries. The girl frowned and after staring meanly/sadly/pleadingly at Sasuke for all it was worth she gave up and decided to plot revenge later.

"Wait, Sakura?" Shino started, "No way; you didn't say anything mean to her did you? You barely broke up a week ago!"

"It was her fault for coming over to sob all over me," Sasuke defended himself, "She wouldn't leave me alone either! It was annoying!"

"I made it very clear over the phone that I did not want to see her -ever- again!" Sasuke explained, "Was burning her stuff not clear enough a message?"

"Did you tell her you burned her stuff?" Temari asked.

"Yes." Sasuke replied, "Though I did tell her it was an accident."

"It wasn't, was it?"

"No." Obviously! Sasuke rolled his eyes. Gee, can't figure that out for yourself after knowing me, what? Nearly five years?

"I'll never understand why you date only to break-up later." Temari pitched her two-cents.

"I'll never understand why so many people keep falling for him." Shikamaru grumbled sourly.

"Okay which one of you fed the demon?" Tsunade glared at the table when she came over with Shino's food, he ordered when he came in. Cold hazel eyes latching onto Sasuke and the un-rightly gotten fries.

"He stole them!" Hinata defended teary-eyed in her meager defense.

"Sasuke; you know that all things come back to you, don't you?" Tsunade admonished.

"Oh yeah, of course." Sasuke turned his head away; lectures from the old bag, how boorish and trite.

"If you continue this behavior one way or another it'll come back to destroy you. You're digging your own grave by following this path of self-destruction."

"How poetic Tsunade! You should write a book! "1000 Useless Things All Teens Should Know So That They Can Shut Their Ears When Their Elders Tell Them"!"

Tsunade glared all the harder at Sasuke.

"Or you could write a book of quotes?" he offered shrinking from the bodacious woman's gaze; "It'd be easier."

"One day you will end up all alone and severely unhappy." Tsunade told him icily before she strode away.

"If I live anywhere near her, I guess I would be lonely and unhappy." Sasuke stated sourly to his friends in confidence, "Now if I lived with Naruto anywhere near her, maybe things would be bearable - at the very least I'd have company that's not a stupid old hag."

"Naruto?!" Tsunade was back to the table in a flash; her arm gripping Sasuke's wrist hard enough to bruise. "What about Naruto?!"

"That's who he's screwing over right now." Shino chirped. Inserting his heavily clad foot - with gum stuck on it - in his mouth. "Naruto is Sasuke's new toy." Sasuke would murder him later.

Tsunade's grip tightened and Temari shrank against the wall; she had never seen Tsunade so upset. Not even when she finally met Sakura and had fawned about how lovely she was and started secretly making life difficult for Sasuke by sending him junk mail and setting poo outside his door and getting neighborhood kids to throw rocks in his window.

Tsunade could be very scary when angry...

"Sasuke. Break up with him immediately." Her voice was dead, but the ice she exuded was deadly.

"I will, geez; don't I always." Sasuke managed to grind out; his eyes locked on his wrist where an angry red mark was growing.

"No. You will not sleep with him. You will break up with him 'now'." She commanded cooly, "And I don't want you to ever go anywhere near him again."

Sasuke winced slightly as the pressure increased; if she pressed any more his bone might crack with the strain - the side-effects of not drinking enough milk by substituting it for soda.

As if finally aware that she was causing him physical harm, Tsunade released his wrist. "Please. It's not right what you're doing."

Sasuke wisely chose to stay silent until Tsunade finally walked away. Silence dwelled a bit longer at the table, as Sasuke looked over his wrist now an angry red color, though he could still use his joints thankfully. Shikamaru watched in silence, and now he felt not even lazy he felt vaguely depressed. Great, and it was all Sasuke's fault.

Shino was busy trying to focus on the gravity of what had just happened but failing miserably since Ed was exploring the back of his head in his hair now, and all the wiggling made it hard to concentrate on anything.

Temari was thinking how much her back hurt since she's been holding herself against the wall for a while now; and Hinata was fairly perturbed by the situation but more wondering how Tsunade knew Naruto. Naruto worked at Jiraiya's porn store and Tsunade hated Jiraiya she was pretty sure, so how did... hm.

"Stupid hag." Sasuke finally grumbled to break the silence, "First I tell him I love him, then blondie boobs goes psycho."

"You told Naruto you love him?" Hinata squeaked in surprise. Sasuke regarded that as the 3-word abomination; if he ever said it it would be a lie he would have yet to stoop to. He'd use flattery and bribery and everything else, but never love as an incentive! Amazing! Naruto was making it that difficult for him?

"It was the ambiance."

"The ambiance?"

"Yeah, that stupid 'mood' thing," Sasuke shrugged, "It just came out, I didn't mean it to."

"As a suggestion, I know you haven't done it before, but you might wanna let this one go," Shino suggested, "Or just stay far away from Tsunade until you've dumped him. Whichever is more convenient I guess."

"Yeah I know, you'd think she was his actual mother or something, stupid hag," Sasuke grumbled, flexing his wrist and noted the aching pain the motion produced.

"Ambiance? Like something subconscious?" Hinata asked, puzzling. It just didn't seem like Sasuke to be taken up in 'the mood'.

"Yes, because subconsciously I really do love Naruto." Sasuke fixed dark eyes on her. Hinata blanched - Sasuke wasn't serious.

"In any case he's cool to talk to." Sasuke shrugged continuing, "We hate all the same things."

"Wonderful go get married then so Tsunade can murder you." Shino recommended.

"Are you guys really my friends?" Sasuke asked aloud, suddenly glaring at everyone at the table.

"Yes?" Hinata asked.

"No?" Temari wondered.

"Maybe." Shikamaru puzzled.

"Meh?" Shino made a sound to make a sound.

Sasuke frowned exaggeratedly and ate another fry. Then noticed Tsunade glowering in his general direction and excused himself from the table to run out the door and likely go do something stupid.

"Well if they can stand each other, they deserve to be with each other;" Shikamaru concluded sagely.

Temari and Hinata looked up; Shino looked lost.

"But if Naruto asks for another couple hundred, I'm screwing the whole plan; because I won't pay it." the brunette concluded.

"Aw..." Hinata moaned in disappointment while Temari frowned.

"Huh? What? Hundred what? What about Naruto? Shika?!" Shino whined looking from face to face; completely left out of the loop.

And all was as it should be, minus a dancing unicorn, with the addition of a psycho manic nymph.

`

Naruto was feeling depressed.

This in and of itself was a miracle in it's entirety since most days Naruto came in to work as a happy flirty obnoxious brat with zest for everything including making an ass of himself from time to time.

As it was the zombie he was imitating, Jiraiya found it extremely difficult not to notice; but he really wanted to. He had a good idea why to, and it was stupid because that meant Naruto was being stupid by digging that up in order to erase something else that happened. Likely something good instead of something mortifying like the blond kept insisting it was every time he came down with a funk of depression.

"You can't keep thinking about her." Jiraiya told him when he finally took the time to wander to the front and tell the blond to straighten himself out.

"Huh?" Naruto asked eloquently. One of nine words he had spoken all morning. Jiraiya shook his head, and scowled - stupid blonds!

"Go out and have fun." he groused, "I'm not a psychiatrist, you better figure it out Naruto. If you start scaring away customers with your gloom I won't hesitate to fire you."

"Oh don't worry!" Naruto grinned. Wow three words, now he'll manage about five or six then stop talking the rest of the day. "No gloom and cobwebs here!"

Liar.

"Sure." Jiraiya shook his head again. "There's a few more boxes I need you to bring up, C through D."

Naruto nodded and dutifully bounded off to get the requested boxes from the shelves and restock the rest in order to be brought up for the coot's viewing pleasure later. Jiraiya grunted and headed back into his office while the blond headed downstairs to get the stuff. The bell rang at the entrance and the old man barked to ring when the person wanted to check out.

Naruto didn't really want to go downstairs but right now he couldn't particularly recall why. Nothing bad had happened here; she had never even been here he was pretty sure. He started working here only after she left after all.

He filled the box mechanically with the videos starting with C through D, stopping when he reached "E:gard Slick". It was pretty dusty down here; he'd probably have to sweep through later when he had more time just to make it so he wouldn't sneeze next time he came down.

"We always seem to meet up here."

A familiar voice.

"Weird huh?"

Naruto turned to face him. "Sasuke." he muttered. The last person he wanted to see; it was almost time for him to leave too; if Sasuke could have only come another hour later and he would have missed him entirely. Damnit, why did the universe despise him so?

Sasuke's smirk faded for a moment as he studied Naruto's face, "You okay? You look kinda... gaunt, sallow. Did you stay up too late?"

Yes he did stay up late. It was all this guy's fault too. He stayed up to forget about his touch. Then he spent hours trying to fall asleep and was thwarted with remembering those pale pink lips brushing tantalizingly close to his own. Stymied by fragmented dreams of bodies entwined with lust and desire.

Then he emptied himself and fell to nothingness on the floor so when he was aware again he was dead and sore. It was all this guy's fault to begin with. And damnit he shouldn't have accepted that proposition from Shikamaru to begin with. Money wasn’t worth it!

"Not really," he managed to smile, "Been a dull day."

"Maybe I can help liven things up for you." Sasuke's head cocked to the side, tongue unconsciously flicked across pink parted pouty lips inviting of a nectar and ambrosia taste.

"No that's okay." Naruto declined annoyed; probably at Sasuke, since that short display he was far too aware of held no interest for him.

He hefted the box and carried it up the stairs to the office. "Still can't read can you?"

"I'm sorry, did you say something? I was busy staring at your ass."

Naruto felt his backside tense unbidden at those words. "Sasuke you're too honest." he chided, secretly disgusted that a man was watching his backside while he went up the stairs. At least he didn't grope him though; he'd had the chance.

A chance Naruto gave him; and secretly wanted him to take! Naruto set the box down inside Jiraiya's office and went back to the counter. He firmly squashed the strange perversion of an internal voice within his mind and shut him in his bladder ready to expel next chance he got.

Sasuke returned the disks he'd gotten the last time. "Nothing new?" Naruto pondered, not meeting Sasuke's eyes, though he knew the paler youth was watching him intently. Stupid jerk - go die.

"I think I can cut the crap and not bother with renting those anymore," Sasuke purred, "Since I'm more interested in the activities 'we' could do; rather than what they do on the screen."

Naruto snorted, "Yeah, cause I'm gonna sleep with you after the second date."

Well it could be worse Naruto figured.

It definitely could be worse, Sasuke thought silently.

At least he's not bringing up the 'I love you' thing. Both boys finished the thought, a relative ease settling over the immediately conscious area of the brain. "So when do you get off work?"

"A few minutes." Naruto answered truthfully before he considered the consequences of telling the truth.

"Okay, I'll stick around then."

"You don't have to." Naruto started to attempt to dissuade him; maybe come up with an excuse, but it was right then that Jiraiya figured it was time he could close up shop. Stupid old fart, his movie probably ended early was all - darn him, Naruto actually wanted overtime today! At least he wanted it in order to avoid a certain Sasuke.

"Okay Naruto, guess I'll close up now; it's already 4:20."

"We don't close until 4:25." Naruto reminded him genially; hoping the stupid old man would get the hint. But the stupid old man was stupid so of course he didn't.

"No. Get out."

"I don't wanna!" is what Naruto might have screamed, and almost did; but there is something to be said about the emptiness currently buried in his wallet - and he was getting money for duping the stupid and mean pushy sexy gay man.

"You're not cutting my pay."

"Stingy, I don't have to have help you know!" Jiraiya glared; lifting his head to a cocky angle that just looked pompous on the fart.

"So, you coming?" Sasuke asked as he watched Naruto; apparently overjoyed he could torture the blond some more and now that he was off work he could stalk him without the battle of "I'm at work, don't scare away customers!" and such. Naruto was deeply chagrined.

"Yeah..." Naruto said trying really hard not to be too grumpy but failing miserably; it wasn't much of anything anyway. "I'm coming."

Jiraiya arched his eyebrow at the exchange and glanced between the boys. Then smirked like the pervert he was since birth. "Oh, so you swing that way now, Naruto?"

"NO WAY IN HELL!!" was the eloquent reply Naruto was about to toss back; but Sasuke beat him to it – curse you raven-head!

"Only to you who will never know the pleasures of men."

"Excuse me!" Jiraiya nearly had a heart-attack right there! Someone as audacious and cocky as Naruto! In the same room! The world was obviously ending!

"Well, you've never known the ecstasy of sharing a bed with a man have you?" Sasuke smirked, mocking and laughing at the same time; taunting - Jiraiya took the beat too easily. Stupid fart.

"Ecstasy? Let me tell you brat!" he puffed, taking a moment to compose himself. No Jiraiya had never and proclaimed would never, ever in a million years, if his life depended on it, sleep with a man.

"There is no greater ecstasy than that of a soft and yielding female! With sensuous thighs, soft fluttery voice; creamy skin and huge pliable breasts. They fit in your hand and they're malleable! You will never know how incredible a woman's body can make a true man feel!"

Ooh. That must have hurt; but Jiraiya! What is with the imagery you stupid old man? Naruto looked away from the both of them; embarrassed to know either one. Maybe he could sneak out the back and disappear before either one noticed he was gone, busy with their argument as such.

"Oh but I have. They're great aren't they; lithe taut legs that wrap around your back; and pull you in. A flat stomach so your hand can slide down accessibly to bring forth that voice you love so much." Sasuke murmured. Naruto started slightly; he didn't know Sasuke did girls... so he was bisexual? Not something he knew about before.

Wow, Jiraiya was actually silent; but he looked somewhat triumphant. As if saying: Yes, so you see my point!

"But a 'true' man's body is also infinite it's is pleasurable devices." Was Sasuke leering at Jiraiya?! Dear gods the old man is blushing!! "Perhaps I could show you sometime?"

Holy cows dancing with lobsters in macaroni; Jiraiya is definitely blushing.

"Yeah get out of here, fag."

Naruto hurried towards the door; for once grateful to leave the store quickly. Sasuke walked unhurriedly on his way out. "Just kidding; I wouldn't do you if you paid me. Must be why you run this place; you can't get any from anyone anymore."

And the door shut. Naruto suddenly felt really bad for Jiraiya, but he doubted it he ran back in and tried to comfort the poor old guy it would help any. Sasuke had just given Jiraiya a huge blow to his ego and his manliness; to even attempt to comfort him would be asking to be run over by a Mac truck.

"You're really mean when you want to be..."

Sasuke only shrugged; "I've had a lot of practice." Silence again. Sasuke glanced over at Naruto a moment; the air was too serious.

"I didn't mean to make your boss mad; I'll go back and apologize later."

"Stupid punk! Old guys with cash, get more chicks than any young stud peice of meat! You're ugly and your mama dresses you funny!" Came the outraged shout down the street directed at Sasuke. Then the door slammed shut again and Jiraiya was gone again.

"No. I'm not apologizing." Sasuke said scowling. Naruto sniggered and nodded.

"Yeah, no hard feelings I guess." Now that the situation wasn't even remotely serious anymore, Naruto had to be amazed that Sasuke actually got Jiraiya that worked up and angry.

More than that though really it was a relief Jiraiya wasn't actually hurt by anything; Naruto wouldn't be fired - but what was he expected. The old man had skin of leathered steel. As if anything Sasuke or even Tsunade ever said would get through his thick egotistical hide - laughable!

"Want to get a late lunch or something?" Sasuke asked, as he looked over at Tsunade's diner across the street. Naruto glanced over as well and frowned when he spotted Shikamaru, Temari and Hinata inside at a booth; there were two other people with them - no one he knew; a dark-haired guy in shades and a red-head.

"Sure, how about ramen?" Naruto suggested, steering away from the idea of going to the diner.

"Ramen?" Sasuke blanched, "As in the icky noodles?"

"They're not icky noodles!" Naruto defended the instant food that had saved his stomach more than once in his freshman year.

And his all-nighters and late weeks when he couldn't get out to work or hang out as much as he'd like and thus could not go grocery shopping. Stockpiles of ramen and other instant foods were the required staple for busy college students - how could Sasuke be so mean to ramen like that?!

"Come on, I know this great place down by the wharf, it's called Ichiraku." Naruto explained. Sasuke started to roll his eyes; but Naruto stopped him with further proclamations of icky-noodles' wonderfulness. "No really, it's good. You'll like it and if you don't I'll drop you in the ocean!"

"You jerk! You wouldn't have the guts!" Sasuke moved away slightly in mock intimidation.

"Have you ever even had ramen?"

Sasuke refused to answer as he'd only ever heard of it - it's not seemly for someone cool liek him to be slurping noodles; right? "Racist!"

"Racist? Against noodles? Noodles aren't a race."

"Yes they are, just like white, buckwheat, and raisin!"

"Oh and trees and flowers I suppose."

"Yes!"

"You're crazy!"

"No, you're crazy!"

"How am I crazy? You're the one who's crazy!"

"No it's you who's crazy! You don't like ramen; and you've never even had it, so you're crazy!"

"No, it's called bigoted or something!"

"No! It's food-prejudice!"

"What?"

"Because I don't think there's an actual dictionary word for it."

"How about preference?"

"But you've never even had it!"

"Fine! I'll eat your damn noodle!"

"Good." Naruto felt very smug that he'd won the battle just as they reached the door to the shop. Ichiraku was awesome because it had one of those cloth doors you push open; and it feels pretty and when you step inside it's all warm and smelling-good inside. Naruto loved it.

Ramen - besides being a staple food for poor and starving college students is also beneficial to one's health. It's good for the heart and recent studies have even show it to be an excellent combatant to cancer! Not really, but as far as Naruto was concerned every word of it was true - he'd been eating ramen since he was five and he had yet to get sick more than once or twice a year.

Now it was also possible that his immune system was simply in prime condition but he decided to ignore that possibility; everyone knows sickness and not-getting-sickness all depends on what you eat. Good ramen can ward off disease for a lifetime.

Naruto was also one of Ichiraku's favored customers, meaning he came there four to six times a week. He also knew the intimate curves of the girl Lin who worked there because he always made a habit of flirt with her when he came by. If Lin was here Naruto could probably stand to sit around Sasuke for however long it took for him to fill his gullet.

She wasn't working tonight.

Naruto nearly let himself sag against the doorway in resignation of defeat - eating with Sasuke without any other form of superior amusement and lovely distraction. The pizza place last time had several cute girls working.

Naruto thought about his mission, and bravely walked to the counter with his target and ordered two miso-ramen bowls.

"So?"

"So what?"

Naruto glared.

"It's good, isn't it?" the blond prompted.

"Your limp noodle?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes." Naruto ground out. He knew Sasuke was just being difficult to annoy him. Sasuke looked away with a scowl. He'd been eating a while now already, Naruto knew he wasn't being sour because he didn't like the 'noodles'.

"...yeah..." Sasuke finally muttered.

Naruto leered, "Yeah... what?"

"Yeah, the noodles are okay."

"Okay? OKAY?"

"They're good, geez," Sasuke hissed, "keep your voice down."

"Hah, you admit it, I was right!" Naruto grinned triumphant.

"Yes, you must be so proud of yourself; go throw a party." Sasuke scowled and turned his attention back to his bowl 'till he had consumed the rest of the wonderful noodly-goodness.

"The good ones are LeaFi, OrangeSun, and MaruKiri," Naruto was explaining ramen brands. "Do not ever get RisingGold because they're chicken is too salty and they usually have too much noodles and not enough meat and veggies in all their stuff."

"Leaf, Orange, and Maru; I'll remember," Sasuke humored, "but why get ramen for home that instant? Isn't that inferior to the stuff here?"

"Of course, Ichiraku is the best." Naruto stated, "however, if you want to eat ramen at home you need to get those ones."

"Why at home when I can walk over here?"

"Because it's Saturday and you feel lazy. Or because they're closed. It makes good food for all nighters and midnight snackage too."

"I see. Snackage, that a word?"

"No, see if I care. They used to say moralistic wasn't a word too."

"It's not."

"Well it is since October! I submitted it to wikipedia."

"Wikipedia is not a dictionary and often grossly inaccurate."

"Do I care? No. I have a dictionary and mine says it's a word."

"Where is that dictionary, your brain?"

"Yeah, 'cause its huge."

"I saw that movie, you can't fool me."

"What movie? What hump?"

"If this is an argument then where is the ambassador?"

"In the brig! We locked him up sir!"

"Not funny anymore." Sasuke shook his head and sipped his soda. Naruto was still on the last of his noodle's from his fifth bowl. Sasuke had three before he gave up trying to outeat the blond. But it was bothering... this was their second date, right? He hadn't done anything, it was more like two friends just hanging out again. "Hey, Naruto,"

"Yeah?" Naruto asked as he set aside his empty bowl.

"This is a date right?"

Shit.

"Naruto?"

A new voice?

Blue eyes shifted up to the three people that had just walked in. Tenten and Lee had seen him, but Neji was walking over to them. Lee looked over at Sasuke then turned away. Tenten put a hand on his shoulder and half-led him to the counter so they could order and get seats to wait for Neji.

Was Lee feeling okay? Naruto wondered, he'd looked okay when they first walked in; then he saw Sasuke...

"Naruto, what are you doing here?" Neji asked, ignoring Sasuke entirely. Dark eyes thinned in irritation.

"I'm having some ramen with a friend. You're doing the same it seems." Naruto returned with a customary grin to his friend. Hinata hadn't told him he'd been flirting with her right? That's not what this was about, right?!

"Is that what he told you?" Neji snorted, turning icy eyes on Sasuke briefly. Did they know each other; Sasuke also looked miffed, just from the other's presence.

"Naruto, you know Neji?" Sasuke asked his voice level and uncolored.

"Yeah, we go to some college classes together," Naruto responded, "You know Neji too?"

"He's an ex."

Naruto blanched; Sasuke and Neji?! Unbeleivable! And it's a small world after all.

Neji smiled without mirth, his eyes following back to Sasuke again. "One of many, I now realize." he spoke like he wanted to be throwing sharp pointy things.

And the animosity was equal - if Sasuke could send death-beams from his eyes, he was certainly trying to.

"Would you mind leaving; I'm trying to enjoy myself this evening." Sasuke said, politely to Neji. Naruto flinched slightly at the tone Sasuke used; cutting and vicious. "Please don't butt in."

"Naruto whatever he has been telling you, he's been lying." Neji directed his attention back to Naruto who still felt a bit lost at this encounter; if Neji was an ex, was he trying to warm him about Sasuke's tendencies?

"Neji's just jealous I found someone else; ignore him." Sasuke ordered, standing to face Neji - entirely ready to bully him out apparently.

"Hardly!" Neji spat, "Naruto, you cannot be dating this guy! Even if you aren't yet, he'll make it so you will be!"

"Shut up you liar!"

"He's not looking for anything beyond sex! He'll crush you if you don't get out of this relationship now!"

Naruto's eyes widened and he suddenly felt horribly guilty. Not about Sasuke but about Neji who had brought it upon himself to try and help him; warn him. And Naruto already knew. Neji was always a really nice a guy; it wasn't fair to him. But no one besides the parties involved in the deal could know; it was for the safety of the mission. Neji...

"Neji you bastard! Stop LYING!"

Abruptly Sasuke grabbed Neji by the shoulder and shoved him back; away from Naruto. The blond stood, "Sasuke!"

"You liar! What the hell is wrong with you?! You're whole family!!" Sasuke snarled, touching on the nerve he knew would drive Neji to rage.

"What about my family...?" Neji asked; his voice ice, his blood flame.

"What do you think? You're all liars! Every last one of you!" Sasuke persisted, his own anger spurred by the mess that Neji had started by approaching Naruto. "You were always lying to me! Jio too! Oh he's so innocent; yeah right? Dumb bastards the lot of you! Even Hinata can be such a two-faced bit-!!"

Neji had been ready to slam his fist into Sasuke's face; who cared about the fight that ensued! Sasuke had no right to talk like that about his family! But someone else beat him to it.

CRACK!

Sasuke blanched as he stumbled to the side before he caught himself. He felt his jaw and lip, it was split, his fingers sported blood. Naruto glared, blue eyes alive with fury; Sasuke looked back at him accusingly, his skin still stung and his jaw throbbed. Neji looked on, silenced for the moment where his family name was defended for him.

"Don't ever talk about Hinata like that." Naruto growled. Hinata was just like her brother, sweet and kind; Hinata was someone he could talk to about this mess and she was never cruel in any way. Neji and Sasuke blinked slightly in surprise; to them Naruto had yet to meet the girl.

"If she's related to Neji, she has to be a nice person;" Naruto defended, covering his slip-up masterfully, "I've never met a Hyuuga who was not an exemplary human being."

That might have been hyperbole.

"And 'Jio'?" Naruto continued when neither Sasuke looked like he was going to try to rebuke that last sentence and call Naruto's bluff. "I don't know him either; but you have no right to start calling out about a person's family."

Still no reaction. Naruto let his face soften from glare to disappointment, it took too much energy to stay truly furious; especially now that his opponent's fire had died. "Geez, Sasuke, you really are a low-life aren't you?"

Sasuke bristled but shut his mouth. His hand went automatically to the table counter to steady himself.

For a moment he swayed in place as if unsure what to say or do. He was completely lost. He took a breath and steadied himself. Instead of saying anything he tossed his head slightly with a little 'hmph'; trying to save face, it didn't matter too much now anyway.

Naruto watched in a small amount of awe; it was possible acting, but for a moment it was like the perfect mask Sasuke presented had slipped off for a moment.

"We should go." Neji suggested, almost reaching for Naruto but stopping himself before he made contact.

"Yeah." Naruto agreed, and then stepped towards Sasuke. Dark eyes looked up in surprise; Naruto wasn't going to just go off with Neji now? But he probably believed Neji more than him! Naruto even hit him!

"Come on, let's go." Naruto suggested as he pulled Sasuke back over onto his feet by the hand, so he wasn't leaning on the counter. Naruto didn't let go when Sasuke righted himself either.

"Naruto, what are you doing? Didn't I tell you-?" Neji looked shocked and appalled.

"He is my date, right?" Naruto explained grinning to his friend, "I have to at least make sure the asswhole gets home okay."

Neji hesitated, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No," Naruto shook his head, "Stay with Lee and Tenten, they're still waiting for you, you know. Have a fun evening okay; sorry it had to start with this."

Neji creased his brow and Naruto quirked an eyebrow at the brunette; "Don't worry. I can take care of myself."

For a moment it looked like Neji would insist he accompany them until they were rid of Sasuke but he did not. "Alright." Neji concurred reluctantly. "Be careful."

"Hey, its me." Naruto prompted as he lead Sasuke out of Ichiraku and down the street. Neji went and joined Lee and Tenten, and Ichiraku's dead silence over the encounter from the moment shouting began probably stemmed back to the usual hubbub fairly soon after. Poor Neji, that wasn't fair to him at all.

Sasuke was quiet mostly, Naruto was still holding his hand and he didn't particularly want the blond to let go. They were alone on the street, and Sasuke's condo was coming up pretty soon.

At length Sasuke finally spoke. "Thank you." Naruto didn't say anything, just quietly accepting it, forgiveness a possibility but unconfirmed.

Sasuke frowned, Neji still had no right to go talking to Naruto like that; not that it wasn't mostly true but still; that's not fair play. That was just dirty. "But Neji's a jerk too." Sasuke felt the need to justify to Naruto; he had to get the blond back on his side or all the work he'd done just to get this close to Naruto would have gone to waste.

"How so?"

"You're friends with him," Sasuke muttered, "You know he's a hard-ass. He's such a goody-goody, he doesn't break any rules at all, won't even break curfew."

"He's an always by-the-book perfectionist, and he takes forever getting dressed in the morning," Sasuke ground out in petulance. "He can be so uptight sometimes it's infuriating!"

Naruto felt a slight smirk tug at his mouth, "Have to agree with you there."

Sasuke frowned, it sounded like Naruto meant it all as friendly agreeablility, but at least he agreed with him. The fact he was with him right now proved he didn't hate him, right? He couldn't stand it if Naruto hated him because of Neji.

"When I think about it you guys seem perfect for each other;" Naruto mentioned as he went over his musings; both were probably good about breaking the rules and getting away with it when they did. In high school they were probably both chased by tons of girls, and their taste in dark and light clothing probably complemented each other.

Neji used to say there was a night and day to every pair of people or colors or whatever. If there was a closely related night and day it was probably Sasuke and Neji. "Why'd you break up?"

Sasuke scowled and remained silent until Naruto glanced back at him; curiously. Sasuke grit his teeth and groaned to himself; if he didn't tell Naruto he'd probably ask that idiot Neji and he'd put some sort of evil spin on it to turn Naruto against him. Then again it probably was pretty evil... but Jio wanted it!

"I slept with his cousin, Jio." There were the basics, not pretty but not especially dirty; it's not like there was a huge age difference or he drugged and coerced him to having sex.

Naruto stayed silent, and sighed shaking his head. They stopped walking; Naruto released his hand. Was he going to leave now? Naruto looked annoyed; "Dude, you can't do that."

"No wonder Neji hates you," Naruto admonished, "He has strong ties with his family, you know that."

"Yeah I know," Sasuke growled defensively, "But Jio was hot, you know."

"No I don't." Naruto answered, "You didn't sleep with him while you were still with Neji, did you?"

"No, we broke up when he was in the room and I said I'd screw Jio."

"You WHAT?!" Naruto gaped, "Are you mental? Sasuke, what the hell!"

"What?! Like you've never seen someone who looked nice and wanted them." Sasuke defended himself.

"Yeah, but generally I don't cheat!" Naruto rebuked.

"Ever?" Sasuke doubted that.

Naruto opened his mouth to persist that was the truth but stopped himself and frowned, "Well that doesn't count anyway because I thought the other girl had already broken up with me!"

"Hah!" Sasuke cried triumphant, "See! Like you've never hurt anyone!"

"Shut up!" Naruto cried in embarrassment, his cheeks darkening slightly at being laughed at so whole-heartedly.

"Come on! Cheating is just one way, there's tons of ways to break up." Sasuke waved his hand, "It's like the high point of a relationship. Isn't it fun to know that you have that power over someone? That you can make them suffer if you want to? But then you're not serious about that kind of relationship or that person."

"Yeah, that's not serious," Naruto agreed, "But that is sorely to hurt someone else for no good reason. Also if you don't tell them up front you're not serious it's just not fair to the other party."

"The high point isn't that you have power to destroy happiness, anyone can do that." Naruto pointed out, "Just insulting someone can make their day a bad one. It's a lot more power if you can make a person happy. That you can absorb them into yourself; as a part of your universe."

"Happiness is when you care more for them than you do for yourself," Naruto mused, "that's also called truly living."

Sasuke frowned and studying Naruto closely a moment. His eyes had already brightened a bit, he wasn't talking in general; he was talking about someone. "You were in love." It was a statement, not a question.

Naruto paused and looked at Sasuke a moment, as if for the first time truly seeing him. His eyes darkened again, "A long time ago." An admission and que to drop the topic. Sasuke didn't intend to pry; but whoever it was Naruto had loved it obviously had gone badly. Otherwise Naruto wouldn't be here now; without 'her'. Whoever 'she' was.

"It seems like," Sasuke started, "You still haven't stopped loving her."

Naruto stayed silent, regarding Sasuke with blank eyes before turning away. The blond shrugged, "Meh. So, since I managed to convince you to like ramen... I should take you to get chow mein."

"I already like chow mein." Sasuke smirked. Foolish Naruto, as if the great and wonderful sexy Sasuke was so uncultured in the culinary and gustatory arts of food and such.

"Then how about curry?" Naruto asked, eyes narrowing as eyebrows arched. Weirdo, it's not like he could even try to imitate an owl with that flamboyant hair - like a nuclear fission on his head.

"Had it, it's too spicy."

"Not when I make it."

"You're going to cook for me?"

"Absolutely!" he paused to consider, "... as soon as I go to the grocery store."

"A houseful of condiments and no actual food." Sasuke crossed his arms knowingly. Ah the suburban home; ketchup, mayonnaise, bread, but no ham, no lasagna, nothing to actually eat; just stuff to accompany and put on food. Come to think of it, Sasuke needed to go buy hotdogs soon.

"No, no, it's just it all needs to be cooked; the stuff at my house." Naruto explained.

"I thought you said you were going to cook. Missing ingredients?"

"No, no, there's this special instant brand I really like. I hate cooking curry it takes forever and it turns out soupy when I try."

"So you're going to make me curry soup? I'll pass."

"No, I'm going to make the instant brand that's good."

"So you're not going to cook."

"Well technically I am."

"Yes, just like technically it's still afternoon."

"But it's dark out."

"Exactly." Sasuke declared, stepping in to push his face in Naruto's, to gloat. "'Technically'."

"Psh." Naruto scoffed.

"You started it, 'technically cook', no such thing."

"It is with the ready-made stuff."

"Yeah, 'cooking' if I remember constitutes the kind of thing that goes ion the back of restaurants;" Sasuke reminded, throwing an arm around Naruto's shoulder and steering them back into motion on their way, "not instant stuff from a grocery store brand."

"But don't you know Sasuke?" Naruto started shooting a smug look at his companion, Sasuke's arm slid off as they started walking down the path, "That's exactly what they use a lot of the time at restaurants! Pre-prepared, instant foods, and pre-cooked cakes!"

"No. Tsunade makes hers from scratch a lot of the time, that's why it takes around 15 or 20 minutes to get a full meal there."

"Well that's Tsunade, the old bag may be senile but she's pretty exacting."

"About everything. She whines a lot too."

"Yeah, she does."

How did they both know Tsunade? Her diner was in the area, Naruto probably went around there a few times too; just ever so coincidentally never when Sasuke was around, previously, it would seem. He should probably go there with Naruto sometime and introduce him to Shikamaru, Shino, and the girls. Naruto would probably like them.

Naruto would probably like anyone; it wasn't hard to like the blond back either. It was fun being around him.

This was a date right? Sasuke hadn't had that question answered at the restaurant before Neji got there. Every time it always seemed like they ended up just hanging out. But this was dating wasn't it?

Or was this Naruto's way of a straight-man throwing off the gay-pursuer? Sasuke glanced at the blond sidelong. If it was some sort of ostentatious plan, the blond was very good at hiding it; like it was something he just naturally did.

Sasuke should have been trying to flirt harder too; he chided himself. But it was too easy to lose that part of himself around the other.

It was enjoyable just to hang around; Naruto made everything fade into one big blur of... well there was no term for this either. Just a day lost goofing off and smiling without meaning to.

Just like there was no one term to describe Naruto as accurately as Sasuke first wanted to. Blond hair, short spiky, a bomb gone off, untamed with no need to. Sky blue eyes, on a day where the sky and sea at the horizon blend and there is no difference between them.

Tanned skin kissed by sunlight; as if he could siphon off burning heat just by touching him. He was warm to the touch too wasn't he? Sasuke felt his hand graze the blond's, Naruto looked over at him at the touch.

Naruto's skin radiated warmth, just like his smile: full of teeth and bright reflective happiness. It infected everything around him. Sasuke let his body move closer, his head dropping close by Naruto's neck and shoulder. If he fell into him than the same strong heat he felt beneath his fingers might run completely through him.

Sasuke figured he would probably like that. He felt his mouth move; perhaps he whispered something, because Naruto's body tensed, the muscle in his arm stiffened against Sasuke's fingers.

The line of the blond's neck stood out suddenly. Sasuke was tempted to lick it, except for the tension that suddenly permeated the air. It chilled him, even with Naruto's warm body mere inches away.

What had Sasuke muttered against him? Was it important? Sasuke couldn't make himself pull away; he probably should, and ask what's wrong but he didn't want to do that.

With Naruto, he wanted to... touch him. Dark eyes turned at some point to lock on the cute puffed lips of the blond; he wanted to kiss him. Sasuke barely even realized he was leaning towards that mouth; he wanted to taste him.

Touch. Kiss. Taste.

Naruto?

---

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