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Slightly Awkward	By : tillean Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do NOT own or make any profit through Naruto or any of its characters, that right is reserved for Masashi Kishimoto.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters, that right is reserved for Masashi Kishimoto.
Seriously, thank you. All of you who have reviewed, favorited, followed, and just read my stories- you really make it worth writing! Also, thank you to Juniper11 for looking over this for me! I'm too much of a perfectionist to send my chapters out without a second set of eyes looking for my blind spots.
And as always: Please read and review, reviews are the #1 best motivation in the world! Criticism welcome! ^_^v

Chapter 4: In the Present
Sakura was determined to make it through her rounds with her usual calm efficiency. The fact that she had had to stop an examination at one point to run to the bathroom and vomit didn't deter her, but the thoughts running through her head did. Was Kakashi angry? What right did he have to be angry anyway? Would he talk to her about this, or would he just avoid her like he had so many other things in the past?
Shaking her head to clear it of these thoughts Sakura walked up to Yumi at the circulation desk. After the way she had treated her four days ago Sakura had made a point to be at least mildly pleasant towards the girl. It wasn't her fault that Sakura was knocked up after all. Handing over the clip board in her hand Sakura smiled and asked for her next patient.
"Um, before that…"
Sakura looked at her face, reading clearly that she was uncomfortable about something. "What is it Yumi?"
Looking almost bashful the girl began again. "Before you continue your rounds the Hokage has requested your presence."
Sakura could feel her back stiffen and face go blank at the mention of the one man she was trying desperately not to think about. "The Hokage can wait until I've finished my rounds Yumi, I'm sure he's busy dealing with more important matters anyway."
Yumi's eyes went wide and were locked on something over Sakura's left shoulder. It was then that Sakura detected his presence.
"Actually, I'm not."
Sakura turned to face him as her stomach knotted painfully. He was dressed the way he always was these days. He still wore the regular jounin black long-sleeved shirt and pants with bandages at his thigh and up his calves, and he wore the same mask he had been wearing for as long as she had known him. The only differences in his appearance was that since he had become Hokage he had taken to wearing a white, open, ankle length coat emblazoned with the symbol of Fire on his back. In fact the only thing that might be considered out of place was his still dripping wet hair from his morning shower.
Sakura opened her mouth in an attempt to say something, anything; but he beat her to it.
"I'm sorry to pull you away from your patients, but this is important. If you'd prefer not to leave the hospital however we could just commandeer a conference room."
Sakura shook her head almost automatically. "No…" She cleared her throat and tried again. "No, if it's that important then we'd be better off going somewhere more secure."
Kakashi nodded sagely. "Hai, hai. You're right as usual Sakura-sensei." Sakura's jaw tightened as he took a step out of the way and gestured towards the main entrance of the hospital. "After you."
Frozen in shock for a moment, Sakura forced herself to shake it off and move forward before she could draw attention to herself. Or at least more attention than she already had by having the Hokage come to look for her personally.
They walked in silence for a few minutes before Sakura actually bothered to pay attention to where they were going. She found herself standing at the entrance the Hokage estate, looking up the long walkway to the three story white building. It was large, too large for a single person. But then, it wasn't intended to be used by a single person. The estate was home to the Hokage (and their family if they had one), the estate's staff, and any visiting dignitaries.
So she supposed that it wasn't really a waste of space, but right now it felt like the most imposing building she had ever stepped foot in.
Despite her nervousness however, she still followed Kakashi without complaint through the entrance and all the way to the Hokage's private living room. 'Private' because there was a second 'formal' living room for important guests. But Sakura knew that Kakashi had always felt more at ease in this room. It was more comfortable and less likely to have anyone entering without getting permission first.
She had been here on more than one occasion when Kakashi would give in to the pressure of his peers and throw a party, or to patch him up on the rare occasion that he was able to sneak out of the village long enough to do a mission himself. Tenzo and Sakura were the only people he ever told. Tenzo because he would need someone to cover for him, and Sakura because she would have killed him if she had found out only after he had let something seemingly little become a bigger problem.
It was an agreement of sorts that they had made during his first year as Hokage. Kakashi had gone on one of his 'secret' missions having only informed Tenzo, and had come home with nothing more than bruising- or at least that's how it had seemed to him until he had passed out in the middle of Sakura's mission debriefing. It turned out that he had had some relatively bad internal bleeding.
Sakura had healed him and then pinched a nerve in his neck that sent blistering pain through his skull. She had left him that way for the rest of the day and only came back to heal him after he had promised to never go without some sort of check-up again. The only stipulation had been that she did it here, where the general populous couldn't listen in at the door. It seemed hard to believe that that had been almost eight years ago…
Sitting at her usual spot on the couch Sakura couldn't help taking the small pillow and holding it against her stomach. She felt vulnerable in a way she couldn't remember feeling before; and right now, Kakashi held all the cards.

Kakashi settled himself on the opposite end of the couch and faced her. The look on her face threatened to break his heart. Sakura wasn't the type of woman to show her vulnerability to just anyone though, and despite hating himself for making her feel that way in the first place- he also felt good to know that she still regarded him highly enough to do so.
"Sakura," She flinched at the sound of his voice but looked back up at him after a moment with a bit more determination. "I'm sorry about how I reacted yesterday, I was surprised and I took out my frustration on you. I trust you enough to believe that everything you said was true, but I hope you understand that I'm the type to question and double-check. I wanted to know how sure you were."
He was handling her with kid gloves and he was sure she knew it too, but he didn't know how he was supposed to speak to her without initiating an attack. He had figured that Sakura knew him well enough to figure out that much on her own though, so at the very least she would probably know that he was trying.
"So the question on the table is what are we going to do?"
Sakura swallowed as she tried to gather her thoughts. She had thought about this very conversation a thousand times over, but really, she had only been thinking about the worst-case-scenarios. The idea of Kakashi actually sitting down and talking to her the way she had wanted to the first time was one that she hadn't dared to consider. She felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"I… I don't know. I'm scared Kakashi, I wasn't planning on having to worry about this for a few years yet." Her voice shook slightly at the end of her words, but she was looking him in the eye now. Gaining back some of her usual determination as he gazed at her calmly, as he listened intently.
"Honestly, I guess I've always wanted children, but I wanted the whole package. It didn't even cross my mind to raise a child alone before just a few days ago." She barked a laugh and gave a half smile. "Just my luck I guess. After all those years of pining after Sasuke and planning to help revive the Uchiha bloodline, I get knocked up on a mission by a man who wanted to not have children badly enough to have a vasectomy."
Another hollow laugh escaped her before a couple tears slipped down her cheek and she was forced to brush them away with a wobbly smile. "Hormones, really I can't seem to stop crying these days."
Kakashi had never liked when a woman cried, it made him feel like a gawky teenager whose hands and feet were too big- clumsy. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with his hands… "Sakura," Kakashi waited until she looked up at him. "I didn't get the vasectomy because I didn't ever want to have children." He reached out to hold her hand as her eyes went wide, acutely aware that doing so felt awkward.
"You didn't…"
"It was for a mission. It was going to be a long-term undercover mission and part of my cover involved being a womanizer… and the council didn't want any silver-haired children born when I was playing the part of a black-haired killer." He let her absorb everything for a moment before continuing.
"It had actually been my intention to have it reversed one day but… I guess I just never got around to doing the whole 'settling down' thing." He smiled almost sheepishly and took his hand from hers to scratch the back of his head while he waited for her to say something.
Sakura was baffled. She didn't know if she was more amused by his perpetual laziness coming back around to kick him in the ass, or relieved that he at least wasn't 100% against children, but in either case she smiled. It was the most sincere smile she'd given in four days.
"I'm glad… I'm so glad that you aren't asking me to have an abortion, or telling me that you don't care. I guess that was my biggest fear; that you would just tell me to figure it out for myself and have nothing further to do with it."
Kakashi frowned. "Sakura, you should know that I would never…"
"I didn't say that it was a rational fear." She cut him off, awkwardly patting his knee for a moment before clutching her hands together in her lap. "I'm just glad…"
Kakashi's brow unfurled and he sighed, he hadn't expected this to be easy but… finding the words was harder than he had thought it would be. He had thought that he had already decided what he was going to say, but he found himself throwing it out to ask what he really wanted to know.
"Sakura, do you want to have this child?"
She looked shocked by his question, but she took a few minutes to think about it; allowing her eyes to trace the pattern of his couch as she gathered her words. When she looked back up at him he was happy to see less fear, and a little more of the determined fire in her eyes that she was known for. And as she looked at him her hands unclenched and her shoulders straitened.
"I don't think I can kill it Kakashi. Maybe if it had been one of those men from the mission… but I don't think I could kill your child for anything."
Kakashi smiled and leaned forward, gripping her hand in first one and then both of his own. "Thank you Sakura…"
For a long moment they stayed like that, simply enjoying the warmth that came from being able to trust another person with their lives; but then Kakashi pulled away again. He was still looking her in the eye, letting her know with the intensity of his stare that he still had something important to say.
"I'm not sure how to say all the things that have been going through my head since yesterday, but I'm going to try. First, I want to be this child's father- I know all too well what it's like to have an 'absent father' and I don't want to do that to my own child… Also, I know that you wanted the 'whole package deal' as it were, and that this child could throw a wrench in you finding a man who would make you happy; so if you want, I would be willing to raise the child by myself."
Sakura's mouth had dropped open in shock as he spoke, but she couldn't gather her thoughts quickly enough to interrupt him.
"As Hokage I have more than enough trustworthy people to help me when I need help, and I wouldn't need to worry about daycare or baby-sitters, or financial problems. And you could move on; whether that meant as a part-time mother, or as aunt Sakura, would be up to you." For a long moment they could do nothing but stare at each other, both contemplating what his proposition would really mean; and neither quite sure if it was at all feasible. "I'm not going to lie to you Sakura, I'm scared too. I don't know what to do with a child, and I worry that I'll do something to mess everything up… but do you know what I'm not worried about?"
Sakura shook her head, almost unable to believe his words and Kakashi smiled his usual eye crinkle. "That we can make this work."
A sob choked its way out of her throat before she could stop it and she slumped forward until her forehead landed on his shoulder, and then the damn holding back her emotions broke completely. Kakashi looked at her with a hint of fear in his eye, she was crying again.
Part of him was still worried about how everything was going to turn out, and as he awkwardly patted her shoulder he hoped that he had brought Sakura at least a hint of comfort. Neither of them had asked for this situation, but at least with both of them working together everything would work out for the better, eventually.

After crying for longer than she would care to admit Sakura was able to push herself away from Kakashi's shoulder, holding his sleeve for a moment before letting go. She looked up into his eye, it was dark- a fathomlessly dark grey, and she couldn't stop the smile that lit her face. Then, without a single thought she leaned forward and kissed his cheek above his mask before leaning back and beaming at the startled look that graced his visage.
"Thank you Kakashi." Sakura gathered herself to stand and made to walk out of the room, but before she could pass him Kakashi took hold of her elbow, just tightly enough to make her pause.
"Sakura, where are you going?" She smiled again and patted his hand.
"I'm going back to the hospital Hokage-sama." She laughed lightly at his bemused expression and leaned down so their eyes were level again. "You already gave me the thing I wanted most, a real choice… But you know, we have the next eight months to work out the details."
His hand fell limply from her arm and she walked out of the room humming.
Is this what they're talking about when they say that pregnant women have mood swings?

It wasn't until later that night while eating dinner with Ino that Sakura really considered what Kakashi had proposed. Kakashi? Raise the child by himself?
It sounded ludicrous when she said it, but she knew that the offer had been genuine. Kakashi wasn't really the type to make such important, life changing proposals without being completely serious about them. And that made her pause as well; he wasn't just doing this because he felt bad for her was he? No. He had said that he wanted children… Or at least that's what she had assumed he meant; but really, he had only said that he didn't specifically not want to have children.
Sakura groaned and dropped her head into her hands in frustration. Nothing concerning the copy-nin was ever easy!
"…Sakura… Earth to Sakura!" Sakura's head shot out of her hands and she looked up at Ino who was practically shouting and waving her arms in an attempt to capture her friend's attention. "Geez Forehead, did the aliens leave your brain in a jar when they brought you back from space or are you just a ditz?"
Sakura scowled at Ino's words but couldn't really refute them either so she settled for glaring at the blonde until she sat back and settled down. Then Sakura allowed a smile to cross her lips, Ino was the person she needed most right now. When in doubt, ask the woman who knew everyone's secrets.
Now, if she could just figure out an innocuous way to bring it up… "Sorry Pig, what were you saying?"
Ino sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I was asking you if you wanted me to set you up with someone for the wedding next week."
Sakura's voice went calm and flat as she tried to hide her confusion. "Ah, yes the wedding…"
Ino's face changed rapidly to worried and then her jaw dropped in surprise. "Oh. My. Kami-sama. You forgot about Naruto and Hinata's wedding?!"
Sakura winced as she realized that she had. True, she'd been a bit preoccupied of late; but that was really no excuse to forget her teammate's wedding.
"Seriously Forehead, one teammate is getting married, another is the best man, and the third will be officiating. How could you possibly forget that?"
"I've had a lot on my plate lately…" Suddenly an idea came to her and Sakura leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially. The best way to get Ino off of a subject was to give her an even juicier one, and this might just let her kill two birds with one stone. "Kakashi got a girl pregnant."
Instead of the loud outburst Sakura was expecting, Ino sat across from her with her lips pressed so tightly together they were almost blue. After she managed to take a deep breath, letting it out before taking another, her eyes pierced into Sakura as if she could set the girl on fire by staring hard enough.
"How far along are you?"
The words were a slap to the face and Sakura's spine snapped straight in shock. "How?…"
Ino sighed and slumped forward until her elbows rested on the table and her face fell into her hands. "Oh Kami-sama, I was guessing…" Looking up from her hands Ino found Sakura had closed off the emotions from her face again and was looking down at the table as if the wood's grain were the most interesting thing in the world.
Reaching forward Ino patted Sakura's tense hand in consolation. "If it makes you feel any better, I only noticed because I know you so well… You've been weird this week. You were avoiding Kakashi, but you didn't show any of the frustration you usually do when you're upset with one of your teammates. I invited you to go drinking at your favorite bar after a long surgery when you had the next day off, but you turned me down. You forgot Naruto's wedding, and when I tried to ask about why you changed the subject to something more interesting. And you knew something this big before I did."
Sakura said nothing but continued to stare at the table as a million excuses flashed through her mind and were discarded… Ino knew her entirely too well. "It was an accident." Her eyes finally left the table to look at Ino through the tears beginning to brim and distort her vision. "We…" Her breath caught on her words and she closed her eyes for a moment to think; she couldn't tell Ino the details of the mission, or even that Kakashi had left the village.
"We were just… helping each other. When I asked about a condom he said he'd had a vasectomy."
At this Ino stood with clenched fists "Why that sleazy…" She cut off and looked down to Sakura's hand that was clutching her own, eyes wide with panic.
"He had Ino." Confused but still willing to listen, Ino sat again, waiting. A sigh of resignation escaped Sakura's lips and then she began. "He did have a vasectomy, but they never did the post examination due to a mission getting moved up. Kakashi had no idea that a vasectomy even could reverse itself, let alone that his had… So don't kill him alright?" With the last she gave a fragile smile that made Ino take a deep breath before smiling lopsidedly herself.
"Okay I won't kill him, yet."
Sakura smiled partially at Ino's antics, but also at the relief of having someone to talk to about this… even if she did have to leave out a few details.

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