Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Jizz In My Pants	By : PrplGrl Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Neji Views: 1840 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form and do not make any profit in writing this story.

Chapter List
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~*Please Read Before-uh… Reading!*~ The most prominent deer in Japan and East Asia is known as the sika (Japanese for little deer) deer, at least according to the websites I found. Just keep that in mind while reading! And for those who don’t know, Itachi means weasel in Japanese. Okay, continue on!

Summary: Holy Catastrophe! Neji’s been kidnapped and only one man can save him!!

Warnings:…I can’t believe I went here. Just please keep in mind that this story is mostly CRACK; there’s OOCness abound so please, read it with a smile!

Pairing(s): Implied SasuNeji, ShikaNeji

The Superhero!

“Just another hour,” the nefarious villain sneered to his hostage, dark eyes filled with malice. “Soon the moon will be in the perfect position and our union will be completed.” He reached out and grabbed the other man’s chin firmly, forcing lavender eyes to look at him.

Hyuga Neji gave a weak glare and made an even weaker attempt at trying to pull free from the rope currently wrapped tightly around his wrists above his head. “I will never marry you!” he said in defiance, staring straight into evil eyes.

The villain frowned. “Yes you will, Neji. No more will you defy me! The haughty Hyuga family will forever have their fate intertwined with my own! Don’t you ever forget that.” He moved his face forward, planting his lips roughly onto the prisoner’s.

Neji whimpered in defeat; he didn’t have the strength to resist such an evil power the man holding him had. He knew there was only one who even stood a chance, and he hoped his hero, and the hero to many, would show up soon.

Pulling away, the dark-eyed bad guy smirked. “Don’t try to hope for rescue,” he boasted, releasing his captive viciously. “That superhero of yours will not be showing up; we made sure of that! Just relax and watch the show, Neji. You’ll like being bound to me; I’m not that aggressive of a mate.”

“Never!” the Hyuga screamed, tears forming in his eyes. “He will come to rescue me, and I will never be your mate!”

“Oh shut up,” the villain groaned, glaring at his hostage.

Kaboom!

Both looked over to the far wall of the open cave to see a gaping hole as the smoke began to settle, the bad guy growling, “What?! Who would—?!”

Neji’s eyes widened and a smile brightened his face as someone came into view from the dark outside. “Sika-man!!” he shouted in pure delight. The city’s best superhero had come to save him!

Sika-man moved forward into the cavern, eyes almost completely hidden by the mask that covered the upper half of his face, which held long, sturdy antlers, canvassed the room. He placed gloved hands upon his hips once he saw the kidnapped man and the villain who had kidnapped him standing upon a ledge, just below a small opening in the ceiling, which showed the dark night sky.

“Just as I thought,” the hero said, focusing on the villain. “Nobody but the Uchiha Brothers could pull this kind of stunt off.”

The Uchiha growled. “Sika-man…how did you find this place?! You should be dead!!”

Sika-man snorted. “I guess I should be, but that trap you set, once tripped, was easily traced back here.”

The villain gasped. “You mean—”

“That’s right,” the hero interrupted, taking another few steps further into the lair. “The paper that was in the gunman’s pocket had the riddle, ‘What floats, what hides, what stays the same, and what rides the fan? There is our name.’ It was quite simple, really. A duck floats; I knew you’d be near the Mighty Ducks hockey team ice-skating ring, which is just a few hundred yards away. A mole hides during the day; I figured you’d do your dastardly plan at night. A fake cliff stays the same; the place I was looking for wasn’t something natural. ‘What rides the fan?’ That one’s simple; ‘Uchiha’ means fan, and what rides it is the setting sun, clearly stating that I should watch where the sun was to set and it would lead me to your hideout.”

The Uchiha growled again. “You haven’t won anything, Sika-man!” His eyes glanced up to the opening in the ceiling, noting the moon was starting to enter it. “The time has almost come; my brother will see to you while I mate with Neji!”

Just as he said it, a secret compartment opened beneath the ledge and a man clad in black and red jumped down to meet the superhero.

Sika-man gasped. “It’s you—the Weasel!”

Said villain smirked. “Sorry, Sika-man, but my little brother really wants to have that Hyuga all to himself. It’s time I put you out of our way permanently!” He swung a fist at the hero, who dodged and kicked in retaliation, barely missing the other by a hair.

“You won’t get away with this,” the superhero announced, throwing a punch.

Pow!

Weasel spun and stumbled at the force, but came back with a flimsy sword, swinging it at the good guy. Sika-man grabbed a long pipe to block the other’s attacks, quickly knocking the weapon from his opponent’s hands and nailing the Uchiha in the stomach—Thwack! The bad guy doubled over, the hero kicking him over the small ledge they were on into a pond that seemed to have no logical reason to be there—Ker splash!

“Save me, Sika-man!” the hostage desperately cried out.

The hero looked up to see desperate lavender eyes staring at him, the remaining villain placing a pure white wedding gown onto the Hyuga. “I’m coming, mister Neji!” he said boldly, gazing around the ledge to find some stairs. The ledge, however, was nothing more than a fake cliff face and he cursed his luck.

Just then, he remembered the door the Weasel had used to enter and knew that was the way he needed to go. Sika-man thrust his shoulder against it, noticing no knob, and quickly realized he would need more force. Backing away from the entrance, he lowered his head and, with a great deer cry, ran at full speed, taking out the door with his mighty antlers.

Three passages lay before him and he wondered a moment which way to go.

“Hurry, Sika-man!” the captor’s voice called from the right hall and he followed it, running into the darkness and racing up a spiraling staircase.

Sika-man emerged through the floor of the upper ledge, where the last Uchiha was trying to put a golden band over one of the hostage’s fingers. “Halt, Younger Brother!” the hero commanded, slowly stepping toward them.

Dark eyes glared, even as a smug smirk pulled on pale lips. “Or you’ll do what, Sika-man? The ritual’s almost complete; all I need to do is—”

The hero was between the villain and captive in an instant—Zoom!—hooking his strong antlers around the Uchiha—Grab!—and thrust his head backwards, throwing the villain over the guard rail and into the pond below—Sploosh!

Neji smiled with a relieved sigh, the masked man turning to him. “Thank you, Sika-man. You saved me!”

A small grin touched the hero’s lips. “It was nothing, mister Neji,” he replied coolly, untying the man now wearing a dress.

The Hyuga wrapped his arms around the other, glancing down into the pond where the Uchiha Brothers were trying to escape the water.

“You don’t have to worry about them,” Sika-man reassured, picking up the pale man bridal-style. “The police will take care of them. I can take you home.”

Neji held on tight as the hero made a mighty leap, jumping through the small hole in the ceiling and jumping from rooftop to rooftop in the sleeping Konoha City. His lavender eyes caught sight of police vehicles convening upon the hideout they’d just left and sighed happily, enjoying the strong arms holding him securely.

They landed safely upon the Hyuga’s balcony to his condo, the hero carefully putting the other man down before placing his fists upon his hips. “Here you go, mister Neji,” he said, voice burly. “Please be safe.” With a small smile, he turned to leave. A grab to his arm made him turn, gazing into perfectly lavender eyes as the Hyuga looked at him.

“I…,” Neji began, releasing his hero’s arm to place his hand upon the furry shirt covering Sika-man’s chest, “I would like to show my…appreciation for your hard work, Sika-man,” he stated softly, leaning up toward the other’s face.

The hero found himself hesitating as he stared into sparkling pastel orbs, whispering, “I…I really shouldn’t…as the city’s protector, I am bound to it….”

Neji’s lips neared his hero’s. “Just…a little…I want to show my gratitude, Sika-man.”

Sika-man sighed a bit when their lips touched and he found himself grasping the other’s shoulders, holding him close as they kissed. He knew it was dangerous, but his alter ego had been lusting after this man for so long that maybe a pinch of thanks was in order.

The rescued man pulled away and, with a bright smile, pulled the hero into his vibrantly furnished condo and into the bedroom. After adamantly refusing to remove his mask, Sika-man slowly removed the dazzlingly white wedding gown from the pale man, helping the other when he tried to release the hero’s pole of justice—Sproing!

Sika-man sat on the bed, Neji straddling his lap as he lowered himself onto his hero’s straining length, moaning low and mumbling thank you several times—Grateful! The hero groaned and grabbed the man’s hips, thrusting hard into the willing Hyuga.

Neji cried out and reached down to grab his erection, pumping it forcefully as his hero pounded relentlessly—Bang! It didn’t take long for the pale man to release his essence all over Sika-man’s outfit—Mess!—the white streaks almost blending in to the white spots mixed among the brown fur. He slipped to the floor, gazing up at the superhero with glazed lavender eyes.

Sika-man stood, hardened manhood bobbing at the motion. “Is that all,” he whispered, moving so his erection was directly in front of the Hyuga’s face—Suck!

The rescued man shook his head, smiling softly before taking the hero’s organ into his mouth and sucking. Sika-man moaned, placing a gloved hand upon Neji’s head, holding him in place as he slowly moved within that gloriously hot mouth.

Neji began playing with his own reawakening erection, sucking harder and groaned when the hero started thrusting faster.

To stop himself from hurting the pale man, Sika-man pulled free from that wet cavern—Pop!—and pumped himself, his climax quickly coming upon him.

“Oh yes, Sika-man,” the Hyuga encouraged, placing his face directly in front of the hero’s manhood. “Give me your deer milk.”

Sika-man gasped and moaned, ejaculating all over the rescued man’s face—Cum! He gazed down at that beautiful sight for a long while, smearing the mess with the head of his softening member.

A small sound left the Hyuga as he came again—Spurt!—small bursts of seed oozing slowly from his erection to run down his fingers.

The hero sighed pleasantly, leaning his head back for a few moments before the man he saved stood and cleaned them off. Neji walked him to the balcony, wearing nothing more than a flimsy robe and a smile.

“Thank you again, Sika-man,” Neji said, leaning against the hero when strong arms wrapped around him.

“Thank you, mister Neji,” Sika-man whispered.

“I was my pleasure.” The Hyuga accepted the kiss that was given to him before his hero leapt away into the early morning light, landing gracefully upon every rooftop, and gliding elegantly through the air. With a happy sigh, he said softly, “I hope to see you again, Sika-man.”

A deep purple flower mixed in with the potted plants Neji kept on his balcony moved toward the retreating hero, its small lens not being noticed by any.

An evil smile grew onto full lips as the one watching stared happily at the screen. Blue eyes closed as the woman sat back into her chair; this was too good.

“What is it?” a man with long blonde hair asked from behind the screen, peeking over it to give her a curious look.

She chuckled, “Things are looking very good. It seems the infamous Sika-man has contracted a boyfriend.” The woman stood, gazing eye-to-eye with the man. “This is it, daddy! That damn hero is sure to fall into a trap if that man’s life is at stake!”

He rolled his eyes. “Right, honey. What makes you think you can do any better than the Uchiha Brothers?”

She glared at her father. “Because I’m not an Uchiha! I am Swine Flower; much smarter and cleverer than those buffoons!” Her blue orbs glanced back at the screen, watching the Hyuga walk back into his condo. “Soon,” she whispered, turning the camera from her Flower-Peek-A-Boo System (patent pending) to gaze at the paler man through the windows, “I will have the perfect plan, daddy, and that retched Sika-man will never interfere with our plans again!” Swine Flower laughed manically, her evil voice echoing in the surrounding flower garden.

Dun, Dun, Duuunnnnn!

A/N: Did you get it? Swine Flower is Ino ‘cause Ino means pig or boar and the Yamanaka’s have a flower shop! *laughs hysterically* I kill myself! Please leave a Review; I’m wondering if you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! (…fanart? Just throwing that out there)
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Jizz In My Pants