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Crazy is Relative	By : Shaylilin Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1133 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
A/N:� Shikamaru�s part
in this story is becoming more relevant.�
So, please don�t be annoyed now that he�s getting thrown in here more. :)
Review Responses:
ElfenDream: That�s one of the best
reviews I could have asked for.� Thank
you for reading my story and taking the time to review!
Ero Sennin: I hope things are going all right with you.� I worry for you.� I don�t know what I�d do with that added
stress.� You and your family are in my
thoughts.� I like Shikamaru and Sasuke like
this as friends too.� (I should, I wrote
it)� Things are a-brewing this chapter.
Nejislady: I do know what you mean about Gaara looking
toward Naruto.� I see Naruto as a rock
and Gaara�s kind of like moss right now, trying to hold onto Naruto.� I will see what I can do about Sasuke and Shikamaru
and actually keeping them together. ;)
Sneakyfox: Thank you for the
review.� I hope to keep developing the friendship
throughout the piece.
Leeana69: Thank you for letting me know
I was keeping it close.� I�ve got first-hand
experience with institutions (don�t worry � just dance recitals for the less
dangerous inmates when I was kid) and from what friends have described to
me.� I just hoped it wasn�t too
far-fetched.� I mean, it�s not perfect,
but I�m just glad it�s not too off.

Chapter Five

Group therapy, what a fucking joke.� Gaara decided he would go to a group therapy
meeting now that his medicine had kicked in and seemed to be working.� His individual sessions with Jiraiya were
going well and he decided he�d see what kind of problems everyone else was
dealing with.� He wanted to have a reason
to tell himself his life wasn�t so bad.�
He wanted to have something to grab onto when he need to think things
could be worse.� It was selfish, but he
figured he was allowed once in a while.

Right now that Kiba kid was sitting almost comatose next to
him due the amount of medication they were pumping through his system.� He really had to be bad if anti-drug Jiraiya
wanted him drugged that badly.� He looked
through lowered eyelids at the rest of the group assembled. �Kotetsu was leading the group session.� Deidara was nearly sitting in Sasori�s lap as he pet the rocking boy.� Kotetsu sighed.� �So, who wants to tell about their week since
our last meeting?�

Hinata smiled.� �What
do you want to know, Ko?�� She winked at him.� �Want to hear the dirty thoughts I�ve been
having about you?�

Gaara rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his
chest.� He wanted to snort but he kept it
in.� Jiraiya told him if he behaved
himself, the meds kept working, and he went to two group therapy sessions he
could be moved to the medium-risk floor.�
He really wanted that.� In the
medium risk floor they still took away anything you might be able to kill
yourself with, but you weren�t constantly monitored.� You could have electronics so that you could
listen to music or play video games in your room.

Gaara blew air into his bangs.� This really sucked.� The session sucked so far.� He could be using this time to work on
Astronomy homework.� He loved the
sciences, and especially astronomy.� He
couldn�t help but feel awed when looking up at the heavens.� He loved English, too.� They were both honors classes, but he loved
them so much and his teachers had liked him a lot.� They were some of the first people to notice
when his meds stopped working.� �Is this what group therapy is?�
Psychos flirting with doctors or other patients?� I have astronomy homework to do.�

Kotetsu smiled at Gaara.�
�No, group therapy hasn�t really gotten started yet.�� He shrugged.�
�If you want to do your homework, why don�t you have Shizune take you to
grab it and you can work on it while we do therapy?�

Gaara nodded and went with Shizune to his room.�
Shizune smiled.� �You really take
your studies seriously.�

Gaara nodded.� �It�s really all had to
hold onto my whole life.�� He
sighed.� �I haven�t told many people how
I feel, you know.� I haven�t let many
people in.�

Shizune nodded.� Gaara
opened his door and grabbed his books.�
�I need a pencil when you get the chance.�

Shizune smiled.� �I
carry one with me just for you.�� She
handed him the pencil and they returned to the lounge where the group therapy
session was being conducted.� Gaara sat
back down in his previous chair and opened his book only half paying attention
to the conversation around him.� The
blonde was busy telling about how he hadn�t even tried to molest a staff member
or fellow inmate all week.� Apparently he
had a sex addiction.� Gaara wasn�t
certain what made him high risk, but whatever � he was up here.

Kotetsu smiled at Gaara.�
�Gaara, why don�t you give us a little insight into
your week.�

Gaara shrugged and glared at Hinata who was still busy
flirting with Kotetsu.� �The only good
thing that�s happened to me is having Naruto visit on Friday.� He�s busy working up the courage to ask his
crush out.� I think he�s bringing his dad
with him next time he visits.�

Kotetsu blushed.�
�Shit, he knows I have a crush on him.��
He cleared his throat.� �What
about progress with your disease and behavior?�

Gaara smirked.� He
knew he won that battle.� �The medicine
works, and I�m feeling better.� I�m not
hearing the voice anymore.� I�m still
depressed and feel unlovable, but that happens to me whether or not I�m on
meds.� I�m still fucked up because my dad
slit his throat over my crib when I was like 6 months old and my mom
disappeared with no trace when I was 15.�
I�m fucked up, but it�s okay because Naruto
doesn�t judge me and as long as I have one friend I don�t need anything more.�

He turned his attention back to his schoolbook deeming the
conversation done.� He wasn�t the
touchy-feely share your emotions kind of person.� He sighed when he felt eyes on him.� He looked up to see Hinata staring at
him.� �What?� You feel the need to try to kill me,
too?� I know Neji.� He�s better than you, that�s
for certain.�

Hinata sighed.� �I
don�t care.� I mean, he was in my way; I
was getting rid of him.� I failed they
put me here.� I totally killed his dog
before I left though.�� She turned to
Iruka.� �Iruka, you don�t think I�m
crazy; do you?�

Iruka sighed and put a forced smile on his face.� Gaara could see the tension in his face as he
answered her with a no.� Hinata turned
around and shrugged at Gaara as if to say I told you so.� Gaara shrugged and started working on
calculating astronomical distances to different stars without paying any more
attention to Hinata.� He heard the other
red head talk about his voices.� It
sounded like the guy really had it worse than Gaara.� He was medicated all ready and having this
much trouble.

Gaara stood up.�
�Shizune, I�m ready to go back. �I�m not getting anything out of this anyway.�

Shizune nodded and escorted Gaara back to his room.� �So, what�s going on with you?�

Gaara shrugged.� �I
hate that she hurt someone Naruto cares about.�
I just needed to get away.�

Shizune smiled.� �How
have your sessions with Jiraiya been going?�

Gaara sighed.� �I don�t know.� I mean, he�s helping me get over some of the
stuff I�m dealing with, I guess.� It�s
been better now that I�m not hearing the voice anymore.� I�m just so scared of it coming back.�

Shizune nodded.� �I�ll
just sit at your table until you�re done with your homework.� Then we�ll go for your supper, all
right?�� Gaara nodded and returned to his
homework.� Shizune spent hours with him
over the week and a half he�d been here doing homework.� �I�ll have to come visit you once in a while
after you get transferred.�� Gaara nodded
absently as he worked on a particularly difficult set of problems in his
calculus homework.

****************
Sasuke and Shikamaru were at the tables in the recreation
room playing a game of chess.� Sasuke
sighed.� He�d been so bored since being
here.� He still couldn�t tell Kakashi
everything that happened in his head that made him want to run.� Even here the desire to run was almost
overwhelming when Shikamaru wasn�t around.�
He smiled softly at the man across from him who had just won another
game of chess.� Shikamaru always
won.� �Good game,� Sasuke said as usual.

Shikamaru sighed and looked away.� �I�m going back to my room.�� He stood and headed back to his room without
as much as another word.

Sasuke frowned.�
Shikamaru wasn�t like this toward him.�
He was like this towards others who didn�t have the same kind of
personality the two of them had, but he had never been like this to
Sasuke.� It started yesterday and had
been progressively getting worse.� He
knew Shikamaru was having an episode, but so far it hadn�t affected his
relationship with the lazy boy.� Sasuke
sighed.� He didn�t like this
situation.� He stood up, planning on
checking on Shikamaru.� Instead Pein
smirked at him and intercepted him.� �You and your boyfriend fighting?� I can take care of anything he�s neglecting.�

Sasuke scowled and bit out at him, �You have a girlfriend
and I don�t like you.�

Pein feigned hurt.�
�But I could fuck you so good you wouldn�t remember your name.�

Sasuke glared.�
�Seriously, get the fuck out of my way or I won�t be held responsible
for my actions.�� He sighed.� �Something�s wrong with Shikamaru and I want
to go check on him.�

Pein smirked.� �He�s
such a faker.� He doesn�t have anything
wrong with him other than he doesn�t want to do anything and he�s lazy and this
place is like a resort.� It�s why we all
pretend to have problems to stay here.�

Sasuke ground his teeth together.� He knew Shikamaru wasn�t like the rest of the
spoiled rich assholes that were on this floor.�
He knew Shikamaru was like him, only worse.� Shikamaru had a problem.� He wasn�t sure when he had even raised his
hand, but he certainly noticed when it connected with Pein�s
nose.� �I said get the fuck out of my
way.�

Sasuke walked over Pein�s body and
headed back toward the bedrooms.� The
nurse at the door must have missed the altercation because instead of stopping
him she let him go back.� There wasn�t
supposed to be any violence on the floor.�
Sasuke rolled his eyes and made his way to Shikamaru�s room.� He knocked on the door.� �You okay, man?�

When he got no response, Sasuke pushed Shikamaru�s door
open.� His eyes shot open.� Somehow Shikamaru had fashioned a noose out
of the sheets and had found a way to hang himself.� Sasuke grabbed the chair from where it had
toppled near the desk and pulled Shikamaru down, pulling the sheet from his
neck while screaming out, �Kakashi! Get the fuck in here now.� Help me fucking now!�

Kakashi and two nurses came running into the room. Sasuke was
apathetic about everything at best.�
Kakashi knew for that much emotion to be strained from his voice
something had to be seriously wrong.�
Sasuke was bent over his friend�s body doing CPR.� Shikamaru had managed to stop his heart all
ready.� Kakashi nodded to the nurses who
pulled Sasuke back and took over on the CPR.�
Sasuke let Kakashi hold him while he watched in stunned horror while the
nurses worked to bring back his only friend.

When Shikamaru started coughing Sasuke let the tears of
relief wash down his face.� He was by
Shikamaru�s side before Kakashi could say anything.� Shikamaru�s eyes fluttered open and he
groaned.� When he looked at the pain and
concern on Sasuke�s face he closed his eyes and his heart ached.� He didn�t want Sasuke to be the one to find
him.� He didn�t expect anyone to have
come after him.� �Sasuke,� Shikamaru
started.

Sasuke shook his head.�
�Don�t fucking apologize for this.� If you were sorry you wouldn�t have done it
in the first place.�� Sasuke stood and
headed for the door, pausing just before he opened it.� �If you truly care about me, don�t fucking try it again.�
You know what it takes for me to make a friend.�� Sasuke walked back to his room in a daze.

He lay down and closed his eyes trying to force all his
emotions back inside his body.� A few
minutes later Sasuke�s door opened and Kakashi sat down.� �Can you tell me what happened?�

Sasuke shrugged.� �He
wasn�t acting normal and he just left me after our game.� I wanted to just check to make sure he was
okay, but then that sick fucking asshole Pein decided to stop me and fucking
flirt with me, when he thought I was dating Shikamaru.�

Kakashi chuckled a little.�
�Is that why he�s in the infirmary with a broken a nose?�

Sasuke shrugged, but his eyes shone with the pride he felt
at having put the bastard in his place.�
�I knocked on Shikamaru�s door when I made it back here, but he didn�t
answer.� I opened the door and he was
hanging from the ceiling.� That�s when I
called for you.�

Kakashi nodded.� �Why
wouldn�t you let him apologize to you?�

Sasuke smiled softly.�
�Neither of us is a man of words.�
The words mean nothing.� I just
want him to prove it to me with actions rather than lie to me with words.�

Kakashi smiled.� �I�m
sorry to say that Shikamaru is being moved to the medium-risk floor.� We can�t just ignore an attempt at
suicide.� He�s been up there before.� Don�t worry; he�ll come back down after a few
weeks.� Sometimes his intelligence just
gets to be too much for him and combined with his disease it can be a dangerous
combination.� I have hope that two of you
can help each other, so if you feel like it I�ll arrange time for you two to
play chess once a day.�

Sasuke nodded.� He really would want to
see Shikamaru.� He was the only thing
that made this place worthwhile.

******************
Shikamaru sighed as he sat on his bed.� Nothing seemed to hold any value
anymore.� He hated that he knew he was
just in a depression and couldn�t do anything to fix it.� Positive thinking was a joke.� Hell the world was a joke.� Friends were a joke.� Life was a joke.� Everything was a fucking joke.

He sat down at the breakfast table next to Sasuke and had to
pause.� Somehow there wasn�t the feeling
of something being a joke when he was thinking of Sasuke.� He sighed.�
�Troublesome.�

Sasuke chuckled under his breath at Shikamaru�s
comment.� Shikamaru smirked and put his
hand on Sasuke�s thigh and tickled him.�
Sasuke slapped his hand away.�
Pein looked at the two of them.�
�Where do you go to fuck?�

Sasuke smirked and leaned into Shikamaru�s embrace.� �Wouldn�t you like to know?�� God Sasuke could be a haughty, rich asshole
when he wanted to be.� He�d never been
that to Shikamaru though.

Shikamaru shrugged and held Sasuke.� He sighed.�
�I don�t feel like eating.� You
look like you�re done.� Want to go out
and sit under the oak?�

Sasuke shrugged and nodded.�
�Sure, why not.�� They both stood
and walked to empty their trays.�
Shikamaru heard Sakura whining about all the good ones being gay.� He knew she was talking about Sasuke and not
about himself and sighed.� They were
never talking about him.� No one found
him desirable.� Not even Sasuke found him
attractive.� Oh they flirted nonstop, but
there was no attraction between them.�
Anything he convinced himself might be there was solely on his
part.� Sasuke didn�t want him.� He made it clear he didn�t have
relationships.

Shikamaru frowned as they went outside.� When Sasuke laid his head in his lap he
forced back the tears.� Would he ever
really have someone to lay in his lap and love
him?� Would he ever have someone who
wanted him and only him with all his faults and craziness?� He sighed and closed his eyes.� �Something on your mind?�
Sasuke asked.

Shikamaru shook his head.�
�No, don�t worry about it.�� He
hoped there was nothing in his voice that betrayed his frame of mind.� He hated people worrying about him.� It just made him more depressed to know he
was hurting someone else.� �You ever just
feel like maybe it�s not worth the trouble to find a way to keep existing?�

Sasuke chuckled softly.�
�Sometimes.��
He sighed.� �Why do you think I�ve
spent so much time trying to run from my problems?� It seems easier than facing them.� I know I�ve got some problems, but I don�t
want someone to tell me about them and make them cemented in reality.�

Shikamaru nodded.�
They lay together quietly with Shikamaru in contemplation of all the
things that seemed to make his life miserable, and Sasuke just enjoying the
other�s company.� He tried not to think
about the things running through his head whenever possible and it seemed like
the only one who could keep him occupied enough was Shikamaru.� �You sure you�re okay?� I won�t ask again, but you are more important
to me than anyone else in the world right now.�

Shikamaru sighed and cracked his eyes open.� �I�m not really fine, but it�s something you
can�t help with.� I�m just in part of an
episode.� I know what it is, but I can�t
stop it either.� I try to; it�s part of
my treatment, but most of the time it just has to run its course.� I know you�re just asking because you care,
but it makes it worse when you ask.��
Shikamaru closed his eyes again and had to force his body to calm
down.� Why the hell did he tell Sasuke that?� That was something he�d only been able to let
Kakashi know before.� Sasuke really did
calm him down.

Pein walked up to them and chuckled.� �Really are you guys fucking or not?� You look like such fucking fags.�

Sasuke growled.��
�Does it matter either way?�
Neither of us would fuck you.�

Shikamaru couldn�t help but snort with laughter, even with
the way he was feeling.� Pein glared at
Sasuke and Shikamaru.� �You both are such
a waste of space some days.� I should
just let them �fix� me so I can home to my real friends again.�� He walked away and found Konan.

Shikamaru frowned.�
There it was again.� There was the
confirmation that nothing in life mattered because no one really cared about
you.� There was the confirmation that he
and Sasuke had nothing but friendship and he�d be alone for the rest of his
life.� He knew he needed to do something
to stop this train of thought.� �Chess?�

Sasuke nodded.� �Sounds
like a good distraction to me.�

Shikamaru sighed for what had to be the millionth time in
two days.� He hated feeling this
way.� There shouldn�t be an emotion like
this in existence.� He didn�t want to be
in existence.� He was smarter than
everyone he knew.� No one but Sasuke
provided anything close to competition for him, except for his father.

He frowned while thinking about his father.� The game was on auto-pilot.� He knew this place was bleeding his parents dry.� The cost of a funeral was a lot, but not as
much as having them have to pay for this place month after month.� Even his body wanted him dead or it would
stop being allergic to the fucking medications that could snap him out of
this.� He couldn�t take it anymore.� He couldn�t.�
He was tired of fighting.� He
heard Sasuke tell him good game and looked to see that he had won.

He told Sasuke he was going back to his room.� He knew he shouldn�t do this to Sasuke, but
he was the only one who would care even a little and it wouldn�t be because he
cared about Shikamaru but because he wouldn�t have a friend then.� He had made the noose earlier in the day and
rigged the ceiling to support the weight of his body.� He knew they only checked the rooms on
Monday, and it was Wednesday.

It didn�t take much time for him to be up and into the
noose.� He slid off his support and let
his body hang.� His airway constricted.� He could feel the automatic panic trying to
set into his body as he lost the ability to breathe.� Slowly his mind started fading to black and
soon he was lost to blissful nothingness.

Shikamaru�s eyes fluttered open and he groaned.� When he looked at the pain and concern on
Sasuke�s face he closed his eyes and his heart ached.� He didn�t want Sasuke to be the one to find
him.� He didn�t expect anyone to have
come after him.� �Sasuke,� Shikamaru
started.

Shikamaru bit back tears as Sasuke shook his head.� �Don�t fucking
apologize for this.� If you were sorry
you wouldn�t have done it in the first place.��
Sasuke stood and headed for the door, pausing just before he opened
it.� �If you truly care about me, don�t fucking try it again.�
You know what it takes for me to make a friend.�

Shikamaru watched his friend leave the room.� Kakashi had the nurses gather Shikamaru�s
belongings.� He sighed let his fingers
trace the mark on Shikamaru�s neck.� �You
really got bad this time, huh?�

Shikamaru closed his eyes and nodded.� �Sending me to the med ward before I go up to
Medium-risk?�

Kakashi shook his head.�
�You seem to be fine.� You couldn�t
have been out for too long.� You know
Sasuke punched Pein in his rush to get to you and check on you.�

Shikamaru hung his head.�
�Please don�t do this now.� I�m
too numb for it.� Seeing Sasuke�s eyes and
the look inside pushed me over the edge.�
I can�t feel now and I want to be able to feel it when we talk about
Sasuke.�

Kakashi nodded.� �Tsunade
will be here to take you to the medium floor in just a few minutes.� When you feel up to it, call me to talk about
this.� Would you like me to bring Sasuke
up for a game of chess each day?�

There was a knock on Shikamaru�s door.� A large busted, blonde woman walked in.� �It�s been a while, Shikamaru.� Let�s go and we can talk about it on the way.�

Shikamaru nodded before turning to Kakashi.� �I�d like it if you did.�� Kakashi nodded and watched a troubled soul
walk out of the room before going to speak with Sasuke about what had happened.
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Crazy is Relative