Out In The Cold | By : PrplGrl Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Neji Views: 2378 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Of Love & Lust
… what… the… fuck? Shikamaru was completely speechless. He stared with wide eyes at the older man, shock freezing his thoughts and breathing for several long moments. His mind for the first time in his life faltered, giving the Nara nothing more than fragmented words and question marks and unfinished sentences. He had no idea what to say. How was one supposed to react to such an out-of-the-blue question? Where in the world had it come from? Did the paler man beside him truly….
He’d been silent too long. Fuck. Shikamaru could see the slight fear flicker within the light orbs in the disappearing light, and if there was one thing he did know about situations like these, it was that one never, ever, hesitates. His silence was the worst answer he could give, but he honestly had no words to come back with. He knew he couldn’t say yes, but… why was it so fucking hard to say no?! The Nara didn’t understand why he wasn’t saying what he knew he should be saying; No, Neji, I won’t marry you, but I’d gladly be your fuck buddy whenever you want. He couldn’t even say the small, simple word to start it off, ‘no.’ Why couldn’t he say it?!
More information. Yes, that’s what his brain needed! Perhaps knowing more about this whole thing would allow him to make the rejection firmer within his mind and make it easier to say.
Carefully clearing his throat to be sure his voice still worked, Shikamaru looked evenly at the Hyuga, raising a curious eyebrow as he spoke. “Why do you want to… marry… me?”
Neji smiled a little nervously, his pale hand still gently caressing the younger man’s cheek. “Because Shikamaru,” he answered just as softly as before, “…I love you.”
He was in shock again; mind immediately shutting down for the second time within ten minutes, eyes widening with a slight disbelief. ‘What… the… fuck?’ he wondered once more. How could this man do this? Nobody had stunned the Nara twice in such a short length of time. Was this Hyuga even human?
“I’ve loved you for a long time now, Shikamaru,” Neji stated before the younger man could ask. “I can’t remember exactly how long it’s been… it feels like forever.” He closed his eyes a moment and sighed again before opening off-white orbs and looking straight into the shocked man. “At any rate, I was told that if I couldn’t find someone to wed by my next birthday, the main branch is going to have a marriage arrangement for me. I’d heard that your parents have been pressuring you into marrying somebody yourself, Shikamaru—”
“My dad,” the Nara corrected, surprising himself that he’d spoken at all. “My dad is the one being annoying about it.”
The older man nodded, smile slightly widening. “All right, your father has been pressuring you into marriage, so I figured I might as well stick my neck out and say something.”
Silence was Shikamaru’s only answer. Okay, the Hyuga had explained himself, but now the younger man was even more at a loss of what to do. Neji loved him? How could that be? When could that have happened? Had there been signs that the younger man had missed?
Shikamaru’s mind was a jumble. It seemed that his seemingly unstoppable strategic brain had finally been stumped. He should marry the older man just for doing that alone.
‘No!’ he shouted within his head. ‘I did not just think that and I can’t marry Neji. I don’t….’ Why couldn’t he bring himself to think it? It was the truth! He knew it was! Shikamaru continued to gaze at the paler man quietly, knowing he had to say something, but not having a fucking clue as to what. His thoughts kept conflicting with each other and further confusing him, causing the Nara to keep quiet. There was no need to say something that he would have to take back.
Neji surprised the younger man once more by keeping the smile on his face, anything showing in his eyes now invisible as the darkness was quickly surrounding them. The older man cuddled closer, laying on the Nara’s side and placing his face in the crook of his neck.
“Take your time,” the Hyuga whispered. “My birthday isn’t until July; I can wait for your answer until then. I just thought you should know… I love you, Shikamaru.” He placed a gentle kiss on the younger man’s neck and snuggled down onto the tanned body, releasing a heavy sigh and quickly falling into slumber.
Shikamaru was still stunned, momentarily wondering why his arm instinctively wrapped itself around the Hyuga’s pale shoulders as the man slept, before deciding he had more important things to think about. July? He seriously doubted Neji would wait that long for a final answer, and the Nara wouldn’t dream of taking that long to make a decision. If the older man truly had no chance with Shikamaru, he would have to say something immediately, to give the other plenty of time to look for someone else before his birthday.
Why wasn’t he saying something immediately?! The Nara couldn’t understand why he was hesitating and he took a deep breath, trying to calm his slightly panicked mind. The drowsiness that had been slowly sweeping over his being had been beaten back with a freakin’ iron club and he was now wide awake, knowing he couldn’t sleep until he had some idea of what to tell the Hyuga, whether it be positive or negative.
He filtered through his memories, trying to recall anything that should have tipped him off to the older man’s feelings. Unfortunately, Shikamaru was never that good at paying attention to other people in that fashion, especially when he knew they wouldn’t appreciate it. Neji Hyuga was at the top of that list. His expressions were always cold or distant, rarely slipping into anything besides. The only thing useful the younger man could recall were lingering glances or offhanded stares Neji had given him, but those instances were few and far between. He only remembered receiving those looks during or before a mission he’d had with the Hyuga and had figured it had something to do with the mission itself and not Shikamaru specifically.
Maybe he had been wrong to do so. Perhaps that was the only way the paler man knew how to show his emotions without saying anything. If that was the case, Shikamaru had been snubbing the other off for years now. A scowl crossed his features at that. He never thought of himself to be cruel or cold hearted, but this situation seemed to be turning into just that.
He sighed quietly once more, unconsciously nuzzling the man lying beside him as he continued to wonder what he should do. A strong wave of guilt was quickly growing within his chest, the Nara almost wanting to cry at how bad he felt about this. In the back of his mind, a small voice offered the fact that it really wasn’t his fault; Neji should have said something.
Shikamaru glared into the complete darkness at the thought. No, he would not allow himself to be pulled into that lie. It was true that the older man could have said anything at anytime; the Nara couldn’t read minds, after all, but Shikamaru would never place the blame on anyone but himself for this situation. He welcomed the guilt and let it soak into his being for a long while, burning it into his heart and memory, so he’d always know that he could be an idiot sometimes.
Time slowly passed around him, the darkness settling within the jeep and completely blinding the younger man, the soft breathing from the Hyuga the only sound disturbing the otherwise still air. Shikamaru laid there for a long while, simply holding the other as he slept and coming to no conclusions as to a response.
Getting a little bored, and the tiniest bit depressed, at running through the memories of the distant past, the Nara decided to think about the most recent events. He remembered the other getting into the jeep, covered in snow, promising to stay with him until Shikaku could retrieve them. The recollection sent a new spark of happiness shooting through his being. Had that been there before? Shikamaru didn’t know; all he could remember was being concerned with Neji’s warmth.
Being naked with the other had never been a horrible concept, Shikamaru already noting Neji was beautiful, the idea was just more of a shock than anything. Why was that? They were both men, it’s not like the Nara didn’t know what he would find, but knowing it was Neji’s naked body he’d be lying next to…. Was that a spark of excitement that just fluttered down his spine? He sure as hell knew he hadn’t felt that while taking his clothes off; he’d been too busy blushing and… acting pissed off at the idea. It was probably another hard smack to the older man’s pride, now that Shikamaru thought about it, which was most likely why the Hyuga had pulled that whole ‘I need to warm my fingers in your ass’ game. That had been the final way to find out for sure if the younger man had any kind of attraction toward the other.
Shikamaru brought his free hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose; some genius he turned out to be. He should have seen the signs sooner and done something then. Now… things were different. Something had changed in only the two or three short hours they had spent together, trapped inside his jeep during a snowstorm. The Nara couldn’t put his finger on what it exactly was that had changed, but decided not to rush it; he still had several more hours to clear it up completely. Perhaps if he got a bit of sleep, it might help his mind settle down even more and give Shikamaru a precise answer when he awoke.
Releasing a large yawn that cracked his jaw, the younger man tightened his hold on the Hyuga slightly and rested his head on the other’s, breathing in Neji’s scent as he drifted off into a light sleep.
He awoke sometime later, consciousness forcing his eyes to open to see only the darkness surrounding him. Shikamaru wondered what forced him from his slumber, but it was quickly solved as he realized the movement against his body. He smiled to himself in amusement at feeling the older man’s hot breath tickle his collar bone in small gasps, one hand gripping his shoulder almost too tightly, as Neji thrust his hips along the Nara’s own, his erection moving slowly along his skin.
Judging by the small, breathy moans and the way the Hyuga moved along his body, Shikamaru figured that the other was dreaming. Apparently about him, as his name slipped passed the older man’s lips and brushed against his flesh. It was enough to make the Nara’s member harden under the blanket and he groaned, wanting some of that delicious friction Neji was feeling.
As carefully as he could, hoping that he wouldn’t startle the Hyuga, Shikamaru ran his hands down the older man’s body beneath the cloth, greatly enjoying the feel of the soft, warm flesh, and gently grasped those slender hips, halting the thrusting motion. Using the strength he had learned over the years, the younger man lifted Neji and repositioned him so he was straddling the Nara, their erections pressed against each other.
Pleasurable tingles rippled quickly up Shikamaru’s spine, causing him to moan and arch into the older man atop him. Why was the feel of this man’s body along his own so much more… desirable than before? It was like they had never touched before that moment, and the Nara’s hands were quick to cover that mistake, running along the wide expanse of Neji’s back, tangling in that long, silky hair, traveling back down to gently knead soft buttocks before reaching strong thighs. He sighed in contentment, failing to notice that the older man hadn’t moved.
Shikamaru felt the not-so-troublesome weight on his chest lift somewhat, locks of hair tickling his cheeks as hot breath brushed passed his lips. Neji was leaning over him, their mouths only a short distance apart, he could feel it. He blinked a moment, trying to see the other, but failing. The darkness around them was complete, not even the Hyuga’s pale skin could shine through it.
A smile spread on the younger man’s lips, his eyes focused above him where Neji’s should be, were it not so dark. “Are you awake?” he whispered, hoping the other wouldn’t back out on this now; he was too hard.
A shaky breath cascaded over his mouth, the Nara’s nose brushing against the older man’s. “…I don’t know,” Neji finally answered, voice soft and quiet. “This whole experience has felt like a dream…. I’ve wanted you for so long, Shikamaru….” He slowly thrust his hips, both hissing at the glorious friction rubbing against their erections.
The younger man released a small chuckle. “I assure you, Neji Hyuga, this is no dream.” He rolled his own hips, causing a delicious moan to escape the other’s lips.
Neji then made a small sound and moved closer, stopping just short of touching the Nara’s mouth with his own. Shikamaru could feel the hot air being breathed across his lips, the heat of the older man’s face falling from him in waves to the one beneath, giving the Nara the impression that Neji was waiting for him to make the next move.
Something clicked within the aroused Nara’s mind. Of all the activities they’d done, he and Neji had not once kissed. Shikamaru suddenly realized the separation lying before him; the difference between love and lust. Neji wanted to kiss him, but wouldn’t unless it was what Shikamaru wanted; love. Shikamaru hadn’t kissed Neji at all during their… sexual explorations; lust. Was that all the Nara would ever see the older man as, nothing more than a good fuck?
That question made Shikamaru feel a little… sad. It was as if he wanted to feel more for the Hyuga, like he wanted to care. Why did he want to feel that way… and why did he want to take the older man’s invitation? If a kiss truly did make the difference from lust and love, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try. Many people he knew kissed while having sex; it was just something one’s supposed to do, right? Or was it that… kissing is the most intimate gesture of lovemaking and made it more than just sex?
Shikamaru didn’t know a whole lot about what he truly wanted in the end, but right at that moment, he made a decision to silence his thoughts and enjoy this new experience with the man above him. Without another moment’s hesitation, the Nara leaned up the slightest bit and captured Neji’s lips with his own.
Firecrackers; that was the word that was left in his head at the feel of those lips upon his own as sparks shot all along his spine, causing him to arch up into the warm chest atop his and a moan to rumble low in his throat. Shikamaru’s hands came up from their resting place on slender hips to tangle in silky hair, one resting on the back of Neji’s head, pressing his mouth more firmly on the Nara’s, while the other wrapped tightly around broad shoulders, holding the other man down.
Shikamaru’s lips parted when a hot, wet tongue glided tentatively across them, moaning again as the organ slid into his mouth. Their tongues battled playfully with each other, causing more firecrackers to explode and sending wonderful pleasing tremors throughout his body. His hips moved on their own as the Nara’s tongue slid up Neji’s to explore his mouth. He tasted so good; a lingering flavor of honey floating around what Shikamaru knew was the Hyuga’s.
The Nara’s body shuddered as Neji sucked on his tongue, more delicious sparks firing off around his groin, and he gasped, breaking the kiss as his hips jerked, his erection shooting hot streams of seed between them. He panted as the wave of the orgasm washed over his body, mind fully confused; he hadn’t even been aware that he was going to cum.
A soft chuckle rippled over his ear, a hot tongue running along the younger man’s earlobe before Neji’s voice whispered to him. “I thought I’d be the one to cum at receiving a kiss from you.”
Shikamaru could hear the smug smirk in that tone, but found himself not caring. He could only smile, a part of him knowing he could outlast the Hyuga anytime, having proved that earlier. “Yeah, well, waking up to you humping me again didn’t help,” he replied, knowing it was a lame excuse. He found that he didn’t have a whole lot of brainpower at the moment, a large wave of drowsiness smacking him head on and causing a yawn to stretch his jaw yet again. Maybe he came harder than he realized.
Neji chuckled again and started to slide off him. The Nara made a small sound of protest and grabbed the older man’s waist. “What are you doing?” he mumbled, sleep slowly starting to overcome him.
“It’s okay,” the Hyuga stated, voice reassuring. “I’m more tired than I am horny right now.”
Shikamaru loosened his hold. “You sure?”
“Yes, Shikamaru.” Neji settled himself down on his side, his back to the younger man, Shikamaru running his hand down the soft flesh. The Hyuga reached around and grasped Shikamaru’s wrist, pulling him to spoon the older man. “Please,” Neji whispered, “just hold me tonight.”
Shikamaru smiled, wrapping his arm tightly around the other’s waist and pressing firmly against his warm body, his other arm serving as a pillow for his head. “Whatever you want, Neji,” he softly replied, nuzzling silky strands as he once more floated into slumber.
When the Nara next awoke, a small amount of light was beginning to shine into the jeep. He still wasn’t able to see much, but he could at least see the outline of the man lying beside him. Neji was now facing him, still sleeping soundly within the younger man’s embrace. The air inside the vehicle was cold, but Shikamaru felt comfortable beneath the blanket and sure as hell didn’t feel like disturbing that comfort to try starting an engine that most likely wouldn’t turn over at all.
Shikamaru stared at the slumbering man for a long while. He had made his decision while he slept in the form of a dream. What he saw was enough for him to be pushed into making up his mind about this whole marriage business once and for all.
He was able to see pretty clearly when Neji finally roused from the dark recesses of sleep. Off-white eyes gazed at him with a bit of confusion for a moment before recollection flashed across his gaze.
The Nara couldn’t help but smile at him. “Good morning, Neji.”
A small smile tugged on the older man’s pale lips as he brought a hand up from the warmth of the blanket to gently caress the other’s cheek. “Hello, Shikamaru.” They gazed at each other for a few minutes, slowly waking up as light crept into the space around them.
Shikamaru tenderly grabbed the Hyuga’s hand on his face, dark eyes looking intently into off-white orbs. It was now or never. “Neji,” he started, taking a deep breath, “there’s something I’ve got to tell you.”
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