Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Winter Release	By : Cepheus Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1260 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Edited:17/04/2011
StarsOfYaoi:to those worried about Sakura, you will see in this chapter her side on things. I don’t hate her (I didn’t like her once, but that dislike disappeared and I’m rather fond of her now), but she needs to grow up. She will do that, too.

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

Rating: M
Warnings:yaoi, boy x boy relationship, angst, torture, and such. Mental as well. Flames will be used to warm up food.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.

“Talking”
‘Thinking’
–Flashbacks, memories, dreams–

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

Winter Release

Chapter 05: Burning

‘What’s wrong with me?’

That particular thought had flashed through Sakura’s mind many times in the last few months, but she had never really lingered on it, because otherwise she’d have to agree with her inner self, and that would be like admitting defeat.
Because Haruno Sakura would never admit that she was a bad person, not even with herself.
Two months; two months had passed ever since Sasuke had betrayed Konoha and left the village, and in all this time, she had never visited Naruto in the hospital… not even once.
At first, she had simply wiggled her way out of visiting, because, as she reasoned with her conscience, she had all the time in the world to visit him. It wasn’t like he would disappear overnight, right? Not like Sasuke. Never like Sasuke.
The truth was, Sakura was ashamed of herself. She had allowed Sasuke to leave –she had a few, precious minutes to talk with him, and she had not been able to stop him.
So it was easier to just find other things to do, instead of going to the hospital. There was her mother to help, then there was cleaning her room, then various commissions for her father…
Every day, she’d think ‘ok, I’ll go see him today’ and every evening she’d smile sheepishly and think ‘ok, well, I’ll go tomorrow’. It was easy to just find new excuses, even with her own conscience.
Lately, though, that nagging feeling was growing harder to ignore, and the part of her that was calling her a liar, a weak coward, a stupid was stronger and stronger.
It had been especially hard to ignore after what had happened just three days before, when Naruto had almost died (no details had been offered as to why exactly he had been standing in the forest to freeze to death, though); Ino–pig had popped up at her house the morning after to tell her everything about it.
In fact, Ino had been rather quiet when she had talked about the ‘incident’, as Sakura had dubbed it, as the blonde hadn’t been there when it had happened –but both her teammates had been.
When Sakura hadn’t asked her anything about it, Ino had turned thoughtful for a moment, then had excused herself and left her house.
Sakura had, of course, felt bad for Naruto. It wasn’t fair that he’d been so close to dying for the second time in two months.
And still, despite all of that, Sakura was still in her house, sitting on her bed, and had no intention to go to the hospital to see Naruto.
Why?
Well, she wasn’t entirely sure.
Part of her wanted to cling to her earlier anger, because he hadn’t returned to Konoha with Sasuke. That part continued spouting nonsense about his broken promise, how he hadn’t been strong enough.
Of course, Sakura could delude herself as much as she wanted, but that wasn’t the truth.
Her fury had abated as soon as she had confronted Naruto about it, and it had never truly returned to her. Any anger she felt now was just a vain attempt to use it as an excuse.
Sakura felt guilty. That was the raw, dirty truth. She felt guilty, and every single day made her feel guiltier and guiltier, and the weight was so damn heavy, and yet she kept running away from it, unable to face the truth.
She was the one who had asked Naruto to promise to take Sasuke back, no matter what. He had almost died doing so, not caring at all for his own safety; he would have left the village not even a week later to search for the Uchiha if Tsunade hadn’t forbidden him to step outside of Konoha’s bounds.
Naruto was intentioned in keeping his promise, even if he had to give up his life to do so, and that was all Sakura’s fault.
She had cared so much for Sasuke that she’d never seen the value Naruto put in their friendship until it was too late, and then she had used it to make Naruto promise on it.
And now, she was afraid that she would have to take that promise back. She was far too egotistic to do that, because she wanted Sasuke to come back so much… but was it worth Naruto’s friendship?
Had they ever been friends in the first place? She wasn’t even sure about it anymore.
Sighing and feeling tears pool in her eyes, Sakura curled on her bed and brought the blanket above her head; she had been wasting out her day watching soap operas on her small TV, but had given up as soon as she’d realised how the story reminded her too much of her own.
Guilt.
The pink haired kunoichi still cared for Sasuke, even if he’d betrayed the village and left to go with Orochimaru. She didn’t know why he’d given up on his life in Konoha, but she was sure he had a good reason to leave… maybe it was because of that seal on his neck.
Yes, that was surely the reason… and Naruto was just too weak to get him back, of course, because Sasuke was the prodigy of their class and Naruto was the dead last.
Liar.
And now Sasuke was gone, and Naruto was all that was left. And the moment she had known, she had wished with all her heart that the one gone was Naruto, not her dear Sasuke.
Shit, the guilt was so heavy it was even hard to breathe, at times. It nauseated her to think she was such an egoistic bitch, and despite knowing better, a part of her (the same part that was trying to fuel that anger that was no more) was still wishing that.
It was exactly because of this guilt that Sakura could not, would not face Naruto.
A single look at Naruto’s face would make all the carefully built lies crumble down, and then Sakura would have to face the truth… and she couldn’t. Naruto was the friend she didn’t deserve, the one who had always smiled at her, helping her even if she kept insulting him, even when she preferred to believe in whatever lie the villagers spouted instead of believing him.
Coward.
Pining over the Uchiha boy who had only looked at her with disdain, treating her coldly, refusing all her invitations and advances… because Sasuke was loved by the village, even worshipped, and since he was mysterious, it meant he was sexy.
She loved him, not Naruto.
It didn’t matter how these feelings had come to be, she couldn’t change them at will… but that made her feel guilty anyway.
Sakura could not look into Naruto’s eyes and blame him because he had failed her, when in truth, she was the one who had always failed them both.
But she loved Sasuke, and Naruto had not taken him back, so she had to be angry, she had to despise him…
‘What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I face him? Why?!’she wiped the tears away with a grimace, uncaring if she looked sloppy and messy.
And all the while, she still couldn’t gather enough strength into her to get up and go to Naruto. She couldn’t even bother to notice that small, unwanted part of her that screamed at her to just listen–
There was a soft knock on her door, then Sakura’s mom peeked inside the room, looking at her distressed daughter with a small, worried frown; she’d allowed her child to wallow for over two months because she knew she’d been heartbroken over her teammate’s betrayal, but now she realised she’d allowed this to go on far too much.
“You’re still in here, sweetie? Shouldn’t you be…” she trailed off, but her unsaid words lingered between them nonetheless. ‘visiting your teammate?’
Sakura glanced up at her mother, needing to speak with someone about her inner turmoil. She needed the comfort that only a mother could give, so she did the only thing she could –she threw herself into her mother’s arms, and spilled out everything.
Her fancying Sasuke, Naruto’s promise, her disappointment when Naruto hadn’t kept it, and the way she had treated him afterwards…
Her mother held her close as she listened, but didn’t speak up until Sakura had finally fallen silent, sobbing quietly and hiding her face in the older woman’s lap; the two remained like that for a while, with Sakura’s mother gently caressing her daughter’s hair.
“Sakura…” at her mother finally speaking up, green eyes fluttered open to look up at her.
The woman didn’t know how to start. She knew she should have talked things out with her daughter before all of this had happened.
“I remember when you were little,” she started, voice warm. “You would always agree to what others your age told you. If a girl said your favourite shoes were weird, you would come to me crying because you didn’t like them anymore, and you didn’t stop until you had a new pair”.
Sakura blinked, unsure where her mother was going with this.
“When kids started laughing at you because they said you had a big forehead, you were so hurt you asked me to buy a new one,” her mother chuckled slightly at the memory. “You were really sad, but you allowed them to pick on you, no matter what I said… then, Ino came around and told you ‘so what?’, and you were finally able to let the hurt go”.
Flushing slightly, Sakura looked down at her lap, still wondering why was her mother reminiscing about these things.
“You started liking Sasuke–kun because a lot of your friends seemed to like him. I remember you coming home one day, dancing around and declaring you would become ‘Sasuke–kun’s wife’, because ‘Ino–pig isn’t pretty enough for him’… it was such a surprise… and then of course, once you realised other kids were laughing and insulting Naruto, you started doing that, too”.
Sakura scooted away from her mother, feeling offended that her mother was talking to her like that. “Wh–what?” she blinked, hastily wiping away the tears. It was so no true… a glance at her mother’s face made her falter.
“Sweetie, you can think on your own,” the woman continued, voice gentle. “Which is why you’re feeling so bad, now… you’re Naruto–kun’s friend, but you still cling to the idea you had of him before, and you can’t accept that you were wrong about Sasuke–kun, because you thought so highly of him, and the highest opinion you have of someone, the furthest they fall”.
Sakura turned as white as a sheet.
No, it wasn’t that. She wasn’t this shallow, was she? She liked Sasuke for a lot of valid reasons, and although she was a bit more open into admitting she might have been wrong about Naruto, she surely hadn’t started liking Sasuke just because others had.
There had to be proof of that.
She thought back to the first time she had realised she liked Sasuke. She had been fascinated by him, of course. He was… he’d been cute, and brooding made him look so cool, with that aura of mystery around him…
‘He’s always been such a spoiled brat, though,’the part of her she didn’t want to listen commented. ‘I thought he was mean at first. Then Hana–chan commented how cool he was, and how she would have liked to play with him…’
Shaking her head slightly, Sakura gritted her teeth. No, of course not, Sasuke was perfect. So what if he didn’t talk with people, or ignored anyone who would offer him friendship… she still liked him.
And Naruto. People always told her to stay away from him.
The nice man at the bookstore always gave her stickers, and always commented on how educated she was –“as opposite to that kid… you’d do well keeping away from him, he’s bad company for you, Sakura–chan!”
And yet… Sasuke kept ignoring her, even going as far as to look down at her, even if they were supposed to be teammates. And Naruto was there whenever she needed him. He always smiled at her, even when she treated him poorly, and was always nice with her.
He’d been her friend, but she had never been his.
‘I’m… I am really a horrible person,’she realized.
A liar. A coward. A guilty bitch.
“I… mom, I’ve failed them both…” she couldn’t believe it. “I couldn’t even help them… I just went along with the crowd and never tried to think things with my own brain… and now I probably lost both…”
Sakura felt her mother gently hold her close again, stroking her hair soothingly as she replied, “no… at your age it’s normal to be influenced by others… it’s normal to do mistakes… but now that you know, you can just make things better… right?”
Sakura nodded.
Naruto was her friend. she was his. And Sasuke… she was his friend too, in the end.
She’d demanded Naruto to get Sasuke back, but she couldn’t wait in the back like a damsel in distress… she would have to get stronger too, and help Naruto on her own.
Because they were Team7, a three–men cell.
Wriggling out of her mother’s embrace, Sakura stood up, straightening her back and wiping the last few tears away with the back of her hand, rubbing her eyes until they were dry.
“You are the most amazing mom in the world, you know that?” with a shaky smile, Sakura ran out of the room.
Seconds later, her mother heard the front door slam close.
“I know, I know,” the woman said to herself, a proud look flashing in her green eyes.

…–…–…–…

Naruto felt as if he had just stepped into a minefield.
Why was he here again?
Blue eyes looked up at the row of buildings standing in front of him, staring intently at the part of Konoha had had always been, since he could remember, the Uchiha estates.
He’d never bothered coming here before, mostly because there was nothing there to see, only empty houses and streets, but to be honest, there was another reason he had never ventured through this estate, not even after the murder.
The Uchiha had always been Konoha’s pride, and associating their name with Naruto had always brought him nothing but pain; if he was seen lingering around their area, he would get hurt, as simple as that.
It had happened once, when he was five.
Three men had seen him wandering around, glancing in amazement and curiosity at the houses, not even paying attention to where he was going; he had bumped into them, and he could barely remember what had happened afterwards… they had kicked and pushed him all the way from the Uchiha district to the orphanage he’d been living at during that period.
That had caused the orphanage to kick him out, and he’d been told, with no sweet words, that if he was ever seen loitering around that place again, he would not live to see another day.
For a kid, such words had been painfully devastating, and the orphanage had refused to take him in again until the Hokage himself had moved to make them do it… not that it had lasted much.
He’d been permanently banned from the institute barely two years later, when he had started going to the Academy. By then, the Sandaime had given him an apartment, and Naruto had been way happier there than ever before.
That was why, not even after the Uchiha were killed, Naruto had never returned to that place. There was nobody to carry on the threat anymore, but the memory was still fresh.
And yet, now, things were different.
This was where Sasuke had lived for all his life. This was where Itachi had once lived, too. This was where, so many years before, the entire clan had been wiped away without anyone noticing until it was too late.
How a single boy, without any apparent effort, had been able to take down one of the most feared and respected clans of Konoha without attracting any attention on himself until he’d been miles from the village was beyond Naruto.
Itachi had been that strong…? For real?
Itachi had been Naruto’s age when he’d coldly killed his whole clan. Thirteen. Naruto cringed at the thought, sharply reminded that it was wrong… not just the massacre, but the fact that Itachi had been his age –merely a kid.
What could have caused such a rampaging massacre? Why?
This was where he had to start. To understand, he had to start there. No one would help him or tell him anything, not even Tsunade –even though she’d been far from Konoha the night of the massacre, so she couldn’t help him either way.
But none of the adults who knew would tell him anything. They’d say it wasn’t his business.
A taboo, something nobody was willing to talk about. Was it shame, as they had been unable to stop it, or was it something else? Naruto felt there was more underneath the surface, but he couldn’t reach that far yet.
‘Here… it all started here,’he thought, looking up at the estate.
Right in front of him, the gates of the compound looked imposing and huge; a street, houses, shops, building… behind that gate, an entire part of the village lain silent, empty, void of life. It gave away the sensation of a growing state of disrepair, abandon –dusty and shabby and untidy and unwanted. The snow covering everything made it look even more ethereal.
And no one lived in there. Since the massacre, nobody except Sasuke had ever entered or left those gates.
Hollow. A ghost town, that was what this place was.
No people walking down the street, no children playing around; no men yelling from their shops, no women chatting together from window to window. No shinobi patrolling the streets, no life.
It was so… silent.
Nothing was moving, it was as if even the wind wasn’t blowing in that place.
Sasuke had lived in there after his clan had been wiped away. He’d lived in this silence every single day of his life; Naruto could not blame him at all if he ended up the way he did.
This was how Sasuke’s rage and hatred had expanded. By seeing the familiar place once filled with laughter and chatting now silent and empty… it was as if the place was asking for revenge, and that was barely the surface of Sasuke’s despair.
His anger, his hatred, growing stronger and stronger every day.
Voices that were not there haunting his sleep, forcing him down that one path; maybe the Uchiha were still controlling the lives of their still living relatives, even after death.
Naruto was angry. If Sasuke had been allowed to live elsewhere, maybe he would have given up on the hatred, finally able to move on instead of being forced down a path of revenge by his past.
Loving your family was good, of course, and Naruto could understand far too well the craving for someone to call your own, but… all of this… it was too much.
The solitude. The silence.
It reminded him of his apartment, but there again, if Naruto wanted to speak to someone, Iruka–sensei was just a few blocks away. Even if he had no family to start with, at least Naruto could walk around and see people –counting the ones that insulted and hit him as well. But Sasuke… he lived a little too far away from the rest of the village. He was almost isolated.
Completely alone.
Someone could have helped.
No one did.
The village had never helped. Like they had never helped Naruto either… or like they had never helped with the Hyuuga.
Naruto knew he was not supposed to be there. He knew it, but he didn’t care. He would go in deeper, and understand. This was the only thing that mattered now.
Because…
The first time he’d met with Itachi, and then Sasuke had arrived to fight with him… Itachi had said something to his brother, right before leaving with the fish–guy.His attention hadn’t been focused on him at the time, but more on the fact that he had just seen this guy immobilise Sasuke with barely any strain, but then the man had spoke up, and his words had somehow attracted him.
They had lingered in the back of his mind for a long time afterwards, and were still replaying in his mind, even now.
Itachi had said…
“You are weak… because your hatred is not enough…”
Oh, Sasuke hated Itachi with all his heart. When he’d been close to death, in the Wave country, Sasuke had regretted being unable to survive long enough to kill his brother, and the day they had introduced themselves to each other, Sasuke had stated how his goal was to kill ‘a certain someone’.
Before the massacre, Sasuke had probably looked up at his brother, and then, he had been forced to see the true face of the brother he’d respected so much.
Surely this was enough hatred.
Naruto wasn’t sure if that was it, as he had never had a brother to compare things with, but his heart told him he was probably right in his assumptions.
So then, why had Itachi said that? It was clear that Itachi didn’t hate his brother… he didn’t feel anything for him, Naruto had seen the emptiness in those crimson orbs.
Why say something like this, then? As if Itachi had felt something. If not for Sasuke, then, for who? Did Itachi hate his family? If so, why?
He had been told that Itachi had killed his clan to prove his own strength.
If this was true, Itachi should not feel anything towards his brother; maybe simple curiosity. He’d allowed him to live, he hadn’t killed him. But during their first meeting after over five years he had told Sasuke ‘to endure and hate him more’.
If Itachi clearly didn’t care for Sasuke why leave him alive?
Why?
If Itachi had killed his kin to prove himself, why not the Hokage, the stronger shinobi of the village? He could have killed his family without feeling a single thing. He could have decided to leave Sasuke alive just to amuse himself.
But then, his words didn’t make sense.
“You are weak… because your hatred is not enough”.
He’d said Sasuke could not hate enough.
But Sasuke had given up his life to kill Itachi. He had barely had a life in order to train, and then all his thoughts, from morning to evening, were circling around that hatred. Nothing could compare to that feeling.
Scratching the back of his head, Naruto stopped in the middle of the street. He had entered through the main gates of the district without even realising it, and was wandering, completely lost, within that empty silence.
Closing his eyes, he tried to picture in his mind the voices and noises of Konoha applied to this place.
With great strain, he tried to picture how the district could have looked when filled with life.
People chatting as they walked by, just like Konoha early in the morning… kids running around, laughing…
His eyes snapped open again, and again the silence enveloped him, so tight and heavy that he felt the need to do something, anything, in order to give this place some sound.
Yelling, screaming, stomping his feet down…
He was standing in the middle of a tomb. A mausoleum. Death still lingered here, even after five years. It would never go away.
He knew it had to be painful to Sasuke.
But…
It was not enough.
Sasuke’s hatred blinded him. That was the reason why he’d charged towards Itachi the moment he saw him, without even stopping to reflect. That was why he’d accepted to leave Konoha to get trained by a paedophile in training.
Naruto was quite sure of it now… Itachi hated someone. Or at least, he’d once hated someone. His hatred was different from Sasuke’s; Itachi was cold, just as cold as winter was.
His hatred was just as cold.
Naruto knew. He knew what hatred was, he could see it in the eyes of the villagers looking at him every single day. he could recognise it. It lingered.
Maybe it wasn’t there anymore, but the traces were there. Itachi had felt, once, a deep, seething hatred, but of that hatred, nothing was left… not even rage, fury, or any other emotion.
Many had said that Itachi was a true genius.
He would know that blind hatred took you nowhere. He surely had hated differently than Sasuke had. Sasuke’s hatred mixed with anger, so the moment he’d seen Itachi, all reason had left him, and he had attacked.
Sasuke’s rage was boiling hot like fire, it consumed him deeply, but it always left him with ashes that would burn up into a dazzling fire again, if given the chance.
But Itachi’s… his hatred was cold, and to be this cold, erasing the rage, it had to be a collected kind of hatred. So deep that he could still think rationally, so deep that he could fuel it with his mind, not with his heart.
Itachi’s hatred was deeper than Sasuke’s, way deeper.
Naruto straightened up and pulled his coat closer to his body as a cold wave of wind hit him. He had no time to spend standing in the middle of the street, really; he had to… well, he didn’t know. He had to find something.
Anything that could help him understand.
He walked up to the biggest building of the estate, thinking that this one would be the best place to start with –big buildings meant something important, especially if they looked old and… regal.
Looking around as he walked, the blond teen realized that the Uchiha symbol was almost everywhere –on the walls, on the signs, everywhere.
He’d often wondered what the hell that symbol meant, but of course he couldn’t just ask anybody about it.
Well, he could ask Itachi the next time he was around. Snickering –because thinking stupid things helped keeping the silence away from his heart– he finally reached what looked like the main house of the branch.
It was obviously an ancient house, oriental style, with sliding doors in bamboo wood, walls of a creamy colour, but two floors instead of just one. The main door was of a dark brown, the windows closed shut to not let light in.
The roof was low, of a rusty reddish colour, and there was a chimney on the top.
Sasuke had probably lived in this house, as he was from the main branch of the family (Naruto was quite sure Hyuuga and Uchiha had something in common, after all), and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Sasuke’s name carved on a plaque on the side of the door.
There were three other names carved right above Sasuke’s, but only two were still readable, even if worn out. Naruto narrowed his eyes to read the two names in the dark. Uchiha Fugaku was the first, and Uchiha Mikoto the second.
The third name was scratched away so viciously there was a dent in the plaque. Naruto rationalised it had to have been Itachi’s name.
For a moment, he pondered whether to enter or just leave, since it wasn’t his house and it could count as trespassing, but the whole clan was dead and surely the last two living members didn’t really care at all… right?
He had to do this.
‘To understand… I’m doing this to understand them,’he reminded himself.
So he pushed open the door, and removing his sandals, he stepped inside.

…–…–…–…

Sakura stared at the nurse in dismay, disheartened, and the woman glared back at her from behind the desk.
Splendid, so she’d really been too late –Naruto had been discharged from the hospital, and now was who knew where.
The pink haired girl mentally slapped herself; now, she’d have to wander around the village to see where Naruto was, since she didn’t know where he lived in the first place.
Which reminded her just how much of a lousy friend she was.
Maybe she’d start from the Ichiraku Ramen stand and see if he was there… there was a good chance, since Naruto loved ramen…
“Sakura–san!”
Turning around in surprise, Sakura saw Lee approaching her with a huge smile on his face; her eyebrow twitched slightly at the sight, but then, her mother’s voice echoed in her mind, and she froze. She hadn’t been exactly nice with Lee, either.
Maybe things could change with him, too… even if his eyebrows still scared her…
With a nod to herself, Sakura smiled at Lee, who beamed back at her. “Hello, Lee”.
“Sakura–san, you found time to visit Naruto–kun! I knew you would come around in the end!”
Although his words might have sounded accusing to Sakura, she took them for what they were –Lee was just expressing his happiness, and hadn’t meant to insult Sakura or anything.
“I had some things to think about, and I wanted to tell Naruto I’m sorry for not coming to visit him earlier… but I was too late…” she sighed.
“Ah, right, I heard he was being discharged! His youthful fl–”
“Please, Lee… tune it down, will you? How troublesome…” it was only then that Sakura noticed Shikamaru and Kiba standing behind Lee, both looking vaguely disgruntled.
She hadn’t known the two of them were friends, as before they used to ignore each other, especially in class, and with the placement in the teams, there weren’t many chances for the two to speak, either.
As she wondered about that, Sakura realised the dirty looks the nurse was reserving to the three; this was kind of strange, since Lee had always been coddled by the nurses every time he had been at the hospital before.
Not sure about what to do, Sakura followed the three outside the hospital, whilst Lee continued rambling about training and the like; Kiba sighed and whistled, calling for Akamaru, who hadn’t been allowed inside the building.
The dog yipped happily and jumped on his owner’s head and Sakura couldn’t help but notice that Akamaru looked slightly bigger than the last time she’d seen it.
“We’re going to go look for Naruto–kun now,” Lee told Sakura, attracting her attention again. “Do you… do you want to join us, Sakura–san?”
“No, thank you, I will search for him by myself,” she replied with a wave, hurrying down the street.
Kiba blinked at Lee, then looked at her retreating back and frowned. “Well, at least she came around in the end… wait, did anyone tell her about Naruto?”
Shikamaru shrugged. It wasn’t their place to, after all. “Too troublesome,” he muttered.
With that, the three of them walked down the street in the opposite direction.
Sakura was sorely disappointed when she didn’t find Naruto at the ramen shop when she got there; she had been sure he’d be there eating ramen non-stop to make up for the months he’d been without his special food…
Wondering if the owner of the shop knew where Naruto was, she politely attracted his attention.
He turned to her, smiling brightly, “you must be Naruto’s teammate! He’s always speaking about you… Sakura–san, is it? And about that other one, too…” his smile dimmed slightly, and Sakura felt a painful tug in her chest, but swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled.
She had to move on. She would not cry for Sasuke anymore –he didn’t need tears.
“Yeah, I’m Sakura,” she replied, clearing her throat. “Uh… I was wondering if you knew where Naruto was?”
“Naruto stopped by this morning for a ramen bowl –just one, and that’s weird since he usually eats at least three,” the man scratched his head worriedly. “I wonder if he’s alright… I hope the rumours going around are not true…”
Sakura blinked, “Rumours?”
He shook his head. “Nothing to worry about, young lady. However, he mentioned something about the Uchiha district when he left, so maybe you’ll find him around there”.
Sakura nodded, puzzled, and left the stand. Naruto was going to the Uchiha district? What could he possibly want to do there, now that Sasuke was gone?
Of course Naruto missed Sasuke –they were friends, even if they bickered all the time, and at times Sakura had to admit of being jealous of the tight bond the two shared.
She’d been unfair to Naruto, thinking that she was the only one suffering for his betrayal. It was clear Naruto was hurt, too.
Determined to properly apologize to Naruto for everything and face her own guilt and faults, Sakura stomped down the street, face set, towards the place that had once been the most respected district of Konoha…
The Uchiha estates.

…–…–…–…

As Naruto made his way upstairs, the wood creaked under his feet, and with each step he was surrounded by clouds of dust.
He had not expected this… not at all.
Up until then, he had only visited Iruka–sensei’s house, as he had not been invited by any of his friends before, but he was sure that a normal house was filled with personal belongings –even the Hokage office had a lot of photos.
Iruka had a few photos, Naruto remembered, one of his parents in a special place on his bedside table, some photos of himself when he’d been younger, one of his old Genin team and even one with Naruto during his last year of academy.
Then, of course, he had a lot of personal things scattered around, making the house feel warm and full of life; Naruto himself had a few belongings in his house, even if it felt empty and cold whenever he returned there.
He’d always thought that a real house with a real family would be filled with similar memorabilia…
But here…
There was nothing. Maybe Sasuke had gotten rid of a few things, because it wasn’t possible that the Uchiha family didn’t have anything precious to keep. It looked slightly unreal… they were a family, yet hadn’t a single memory they wanted to keep?
What a waste.
Upstairs there was a long corridor with five of six closed doors. It was a big place, and maybe it had been a wonderful place to live, but right now, all Naruto could think about was the cold. Not just physical cold… there was a feeling of cold that had nothing to do with the non–working heating.
This didn’t feel like ‘home’ at all.
If anything, this house had the same unwelcoming feeling of his own house, just bigger. This was a house where one didn’t feel like they belonged in there… it felt as if, by dying, the Uchiha had taken away all the warmth and the life of the whole compound.
As if nobody could ever live here and hope to be happy.
Cold and empty and old. Abandoned.
Naruto pushed the first door open, suddenly feeling like he had just entered into a sanctuary; there was dust everywhere and everything looked untouched. There was an unmade futon on a side, a bookshelf filled with books and a pile of sheets with a pen on the desk on the other end of the room.
All in all, it felt like the owner had disappeared but would be coming back anytime… if not for the dust and the stale air.
With a shudder, Naruto closed the door again, not wanting to enter the room.
The next room was a surprise –it was trashed. Completely trashed. Broken things everywhere, the door of the fitted cupboard was smashed in pieces, the tatami floor, the clothes, the sheets, the blanket… there were many things that were unrecognisable now, broken in small fragments and scattered everywhere in the room, and everything was covered with dust, too.
Naruto narrowed his eyes. He could recognise pieces of scrolls and clothes, and wooden remains that looked like they had once been a desk and a chair.
At a closer glance, Naruto realised that there was nothing personal in that room either.
For the second time, Naruto wondered about who exactly the Uchiha had been. No photos, no personal objects, nothing.
What was going on behind the veil?
Feeling uneasy, Naruto closed the door and proceeded to open the next, and once again was utterly surprised by the sight.
The third room was obviously Sasuke’s.
As opposite to the previous two, this one was rather clean –the layer of dust was thin, but it simply looked like a room that hadn’t been used in months, not in years.
There were books scattered around, some open, some not, there was a kunai pouch and a few shuriken embedded in the wall, and a pile of scrolls in a corner that looked used and old, and there was a shirt thrown haphazardly on the back of a chair.
What made Naruto feel relieved was the set of photos on a small table close to the window. There were three photos, and Naruto recognised the first, because he owned a similar copy as well.
It was of Team7 together, with Kakashi–sensei in the back and Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto standing in the front.
The second photo was the Uchiha family, and Naruto stared at it intently, thinking that Sasuke’s parents looked really magnificent there.
The mother was on the right side, with long, silky black hair and a small smile tugging at her lips. She looked beautiful. The father was standing on the opposite side, looking imposing and powerful, staring at the camera with a serious, composed face.
He had probably been a scary man when alive. Naruto shivered.
In the front there was a young–looking Itachi holding a cute, chubby Sasuke by his arm. Refusing to admit he had called Sasuke cute (no matter if it was a younger version of him), Naruto concentrated on his shock instead.
The shock was because in this photo both Itachi and Sasuke were smiling. Naruto blinked and analysed the photo intently, noticing how happy and carefree young Sasuke had looked; he was clinging to his brother’s arm, affectionate, possessive. Proud.
And Itachi. Itachi still looked impenetrable, despite the smile. He had to have been at least twelve, so Sasuke was probably around five, and his black eyes were looking inexpressively at the camera, with the smile smoothening up his face.
To an uncaring eye, Itachi appeared at ease. Serene.
And yet, he did not look like he was twelve at all. Much more like an adult trapped into a kid’s body. It didn’t look right. Not at all.
The third photo was ripped in half, and the left side was missing; the right side was, again, a young Sasuke, and it didn’t take a genius to see that the other part had probably been Itachi.
The real shock, though, was the slab of rock on the wall, right above the desk.
It was old and ruined, and it didn’t belong to the room at all, looking like Sasuke had dragged and pushed it all the way from where it had originally been and into his bedroom. Moving closer to it, Naruto noticed it was crumbling on the corners.
The stone really didn’t fit in the room, and Naruto leaned forwards to read what was written on it, progressively turning paler and paler as he did so.
Swallowing hard, Naruto quickly looked away.
So, that was it.
This was the reason why Sasuke had wanted to kill him. This was what Itachi had done to get his weapon, the Mangekyou Sharingan. Explained in brutal detail on that stone, one of the most well kept secrets.
Nobody had known exactly what Itachi had done to gain such a powerful asset, but now everything was clear.
As Naruto carefully read through the explanation on the stone, the secret of the Mangekyou Sharingan, he felt the cold in the room seep slowly into his chest, until the darkness around him started choking him.
Sasuke had tried to kill Naruto in order to obtain this weapon. He had decided to sacrifice his entire life, and even his friendship with Naruto, in order to gain this power.
Why?
Had Sasuke valued their friendship so little that he’d been able to give up on it so easily?
No, it couldn’t be –to obtain the Mangekyou, the sacrifice had to be done willingly, but it had to be a real sacrifice… the feelings had to be real.
Sasuke had saved Naruto’s life many times, and Naruto had saved Sasuke’s just as many. They had slowly grown to be friends, real friends, and it wasn’t fake. Sasuke hadn’t done it simply for this purpose –he probably discovered the stone later on, and decided to give it a try.
Once again, something inside Naruto’s chest tightened painfully.
He had wanted to understand, and now he did. Nothing mattered except killing Itachi, and he wouldn’t stop, even if he had to accept Orochimaru’s offered help.
He would never come back unless he gathered enough power to defeat his brother. He had given up too much to back down now.
Sasuke would never come back on his own.
If Naruto dragged Sasuke back, it would not be the same Sasuke he’d known until then, he would still be concentrated entirely on his revenge, and even if he were to obtain it… Naruto wasn’t sure if Sasuke would ever heal.
When you give up on your whole life, even if you succeed, what’s there for you afterwards?
The moment Naruto realised this, something inside him died painfully and silently.
For a long time, Naruto remained curled underneath the stone, deep in thought. He thought about Sasuke and about himself, about the promise he had made with Sakura, and about all his goals.
Yes, now he could understand Sasuke, but that didn’t mean he’d allow him to go down that path.
Sasuke was his friend, and Naruto would drag him back anyway. He wasn’t delusional, he knew that Sasuke would not allow him to help, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try again and again until he could get it through that stupid bastard’s brain.
He couldn’t let Sasuke down, he couldn’t let him continue down that path, it would only ruin his life even more. Sasuke would not drown away, and if that bastard tried to, Naruto would jump and drag his sorry body out again.
Tears burned their way down his cheeks, but Naruto hastily wiped them away.
There was no time to cry. He had to go train.

…–…–…–…

Finally spotting the Uchiha estates, Sakura let out a shuddery breath and stilled.
She was familiar with that street, as she used to stalk Sasuke all the way from the academy to his house to ask him out, but she had never stepped into the compound.
Before the massacre, she would have been easily stopped in a place where every single person was an Uchiha, and afterwards, the place had been so desolate and depressing that she had never felt the need to go in there.
Besides, Sasuke wouldn’t have liked that –he liked his privacy, after all. And yes, she felt bad knowing he lived in there all alone, but at the same time, it suited him, so she’d never given the fact a second thought.
Wondering where Naruto could be, and if he’d ended up trespassing into the private property, Sakura glanced around, unsure whether she should try to go in and search for the blond teen or not; the Uchiha estates looked gloomy, but the snow helped making the sight less heavy on the heart.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost missed the figure walking out from the estate, coming her way but passing by without even sparing her a glance.
Blinking in surprise, she realised that it was, indeed, Naruto.
“N–Naruto! Wait!” she called out to him, suddenly flooded with uncertainty.
This was it –the confrontation she was so afraid of. ‘Damn it, Sakura, pull yourself together,’ she growled inwardly, angered at her own fears.
What if Naruto thought she didn’t deserve being forgiven? There was a breaking point for everybody, and maybe Naruto had reached his own…?
Naruto stopped walking and turned towards her, his face slightly downcast; blue eyes met with green ones and the teen sighed, feeling weary. He really didn’t feel up to listening to Sakura’s rants again, not now.
He’d been naïve and too weak, yes, but it still wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t understood Sasuke’s reasons, but now that he did, he could grow strong and help him.
“Sakura… I know I promised you I would take Sasuke back,” he spoke before she could utter a word, and let out a shaky breath, “I promised and this is a long time promise… I will take Sasuke back, don’t worry. Even if I have to sacrifice my life as a ninja, I will do it”.
With that, he jumped high and landed on a nearby roof, quickly making his way towards the training grounds and leaving Sakura staring at his retreating back in shock.

…–…–…–…

Jumping in the air, Naruto blocked a punch from one of his clones and attacked back with unusual fierceness, hitting the Kage Bunshin and watching it disappear in a cloud of smoke.
Landing down on the ground again, panting hard, Naruto grunted and wiped a trail of blood away from his chin, straightening up again; he had been training for hours, ever since leaving Sasuke’s house, and he was close to five hours right now.
Still, it wasn’t enough; it couldn’t be enough, not if he continued training against simple Kage Bunshin. He needed a real opponent, something that could help him train… or he would never get better.
As he stepped forwards, preparing to summon more clones, his legs wobbled and he stopped, looking down at his hands with a frown. They were trembling slightly for the strain, and he grunted in annoyance.
How could he be this tired already? If he continued like that, he would never grow stronger.
The blond bit his lip hard. He had to do something; maybe he should steal the scroll he’d learned the Kage Bunshin jutsu and see if there was something else he could get from it…? Maybe it contained only prohibited techniques, but he’d gotten away with the Kage Bunshin already, maybe Tsunade would close one eye for him…
Unless she didn’t find out until he was done, that is.
In fact, stealing scrolls from the Hokage tower was way too easy. He’d been able to get the scroll simply by distracting the Hokage, and he’d not been found until much later… had he been an enemy, he would have been running away from the village as soon as he got what he wanted, and the ANBU wouldn’t have been able to get him.
He could do it again and do it better now, with the use of a Kage Bunshin clone and Henge. Really, what kind of security did they have at the Tower?
Holding the scroll in his injured hands, trying not to get blood stains on it, Naruto remembered the first time he’d done this, learning a move no one else could have.
Gritting his teeth, he thought about what he remembered of the Scroll. Apart the first technique, all the others had been Genjutsu, and he wasn’t really apt at it. Illusions were not his forte.
Maybe he’d have to let the scroll be and stick with the things he was good at…
‘The Rasengan,’he thought after a moment.
Maybe he could perfect his control over that attack, since he had to use Kage Bunshin to accomplish it, and that would be a step in the right direction already.
Clearing his mind, weary and aware that he’d need to rest soon, he concentrated on the attack; Kage Bunshin wasted his chakra, so if he could learn to do Rasengan without them, it would be an improvement.
If he mastered the attack by relearning it step by step, maybe it’d do him well. He’d learned how to do it in a single week, while the one who had created it had managed to do it in three years, so it was possible for him to get it fully.
After all, he wasn’t fuelled by revenge, and that made the difference to him.
With this in mind, he resumed his hellish training.
Four hours later, Naruto was still going at it. He had pushed his body to its limits, and the only thing that managed to keep him standing, even after over nine hours of training, was his high stamina.
His body was covered with scratches, wounds and violet spots that on a normal person would have taken days, if not weeks, to heal completely, but Kyuubi would help them heal in a single night. His clothes were ripped and dirty, and the snow around the area had either melted under the attacks or mixed with his blood.
A part of him knew that maybe he’d have to stop soon, or he would not be able to get back home like this, but the sight of the stone in Sasuke’s room was carved in his mind, and every time he thought about stopping, that single memory would get him to continue his training again.
He was doing this not just for Sasuke, but for himself, too. He would offer Sasuke a proper rival, and by keeping matching strength he would show Sasuke that he didn’t need Orochimaru.
“Naruto!”
Oh, again.
Naruto winced as a figure appeared in front of him, right between Naruto and his target, a giant stone; the Rasengan he’d been forming in one hand faltered and vanished, and Naruto felt the last bit of energy drain away from him with it. Falling on his knees, Naruto coughed and cursed, then looked up and his lips automatically stretched into a smile.
“Ah, S–Sakura,” he murmured.
The pink haired kunoichi was staring at him with something akin to mortification, and he suddenly felt unsure.
“Naruto! W–what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” she yelled at him.
Naruto smiled sheepishly, and he would have scratched his head had he not been this tired. Sakura quickly kneeled at his side and took his hand, which was filled with cuts and half burned away.
Naruto looked at her in confusion –wasn’t she supposed to be angry at him or something?
“I’m training,” he answered, his tone indicating it should have been obvious. “Like this I won’t get… Sasuke back. I need to work, so please, wait a bit more, ok?”
He stopped when he realised Sakura was crying, tears rolling down her cheeks.
The kunoichi couldn’t believe that Naruto had been abusing his body so far simply to keep his promise to her, and the guilt hit her chest like a mallet, crushing her lungs and filling her eyes with tears.
“Naruto… don’t do this to yourself, please!” she begged, clenching Naruto’s hand in hers. “I was so stupid… Please, stop… It’s unfair that you do all that work alone. I can get strong, too, and we can take Sasuke back together… don’t hurt yourself like this!”
Naruto stared at her.
“I will heal,” he said absentmindedly. His sight was a little blurred and now that he’d stopped moving, he could feel the strain of the many hours of training weight down on him. “I have Kyuubi, he will heal me…”
Sakura’s entire body froze at the slip up. Slowly, all the pieces finally moved to fit together –Ino’s hesitation, the way she had spoken about an attack against Naruto, a Sannin taking interest in Naruto, the small things that just didn’t make sense, including the strange reaction back in the Wave Country, and even the reaction of the nurse at the hospital when Sakura had mentioned Naruto’s name…
Sakura was an intelligent kunoichi, and she read her books.
Naruto had Kyuubi. There was only one Kyuubi that she’d known of, and that was the demon Yondaime had supposedly defeated over thirteen years before… right on Naruto’s birthday.
Naruto was just like Gaara –he had a demon sealed within him.
Sakura had expected to be afraid, just like she had been with Gaara… but all she felt was guilt and sadness. She wiped away her tears again.
“Come on, Naruto, let’s go” she said.
Slowly, she helped her teammate up, supporting his weight and passing one of his arms around her neck, moving towards the village at small, hesitant steps.
“It’s not up to you to get Sasuke back,” she continued talking wanting to keep Naruto’s attention on her. “We can do it together. Sasuke is my teammate too, and if he’s been stupid, then it’s also my fault for not being able to stop him”.
Naruto blinked in surprise.
“Naruto, I’ll train too, so you will have to wait for me, ok?” she smiled softly at him, her voice firm while her eyes were still filled with tears.
On his part, Naruto was rather confused.
She had not yelled at him.
She had not accused him.
She was helping him, and when she heard Kyuubi’s name, she hadn’t flinched away. Maybe she didn’t get it…?
“I can… I can do it. I have–”
“I heard about Kyuubi, Naruto. Really, do you think I’m stupid?” she gently bopped his head, but there was no anger in her tone that he could detect. “We… we are friends, after all. Are… are we, Naruto?” she hesitated, glancing at him.
Naruto was once again taken aback. He looked at her, at her worried eyes, at how she was holding him close, helping him walk. Then, the stretched smile turned warm and real.
Sakura considered him a friend. finally. And she was clearly sorry for having yelled at him, and even said she wanted to train, too, so they could keep that promise together.
He didn’t really need to know anything else.
He smiled and leaned more into her, nodding. Sakura smiled at him, relieved and happy.
“Of course, Sakura–chan,” he murmured, using the suffix with her name again.
The pink haired kunoichi dropped Naruto at his house, only leaving when he reassured her he’d be fine; he just needed a good night’s sleep, after all. Still, she asked him not to wear himself out like that ever again, and her worry had Naruto feel warm and happy. She cared, too. Not the way he might have wanted before, but she was his friend now, and he was perfectly fine with it.
She’d even glared at him for saying the demon would heal him soon, and had simply slapped the back of his head. So, he had promised her he would behave.
As Sakura walked away from his house, waving at him, Naruto felt better than he’d been in a while. His friends had accepted him, he had come to understand the Uchiha a bit more, and now he had another goal to accomplish.
He was so tired that he stumbled through his apartment without even flicking the lights open, and without even bothering to undress himself, he fell onto the bed, unconscious the moment his head touched the pillow.
He was completely drained, after all.
His chakra reserves were empty because of his intense training, and his body was so tired that he fell into a dreamless sleep right away, comforting in its lack of nightmares.
That was why he didn’t feel it when a small group of men walked up to his window and glanced inside in the dark.
“The Hokage tried not to let us know, but it was in vain. It was because of this monster that two intruders came and tried to destroy the village and killed Subaru!” one of the figures growled, hand tightening into a fist. “That is, unless it was truly a ruse and this demon was the one who killed him… after all, Subaru was an ANBU… nobody could have killed him like that… unless possessing inhuman powers!”
“He should have died years ago,” a second figure growled. It was the only one dressed in Jounin clothes.
Had Naruto been awake, he would have probably noticed something was wrong with the way those men were acting, but unfortunately, he was dead asleep, and didn’t even stir.
“This demon…he will soon lose control again, and then there will be no one to protect the village from his fury,” the third man hissed. This one was wearing an ANBU attire, with the mask of a Nezumi. He had been the one spreading the news of Usagi–Subaru’s death.
“That’s why we’re here. We’ll be the village’s heroes!” the first man replied, an ugly smirk on his face.
The Jounin nodded warily, looking through the window at the sleeping boy. He seemed far too pacific; it was just appearance, but they needed to kill him before anything could happen. Moving towards the door, the civilian opened it with ease –Naruto had been too worn out to lock it like he usually did.
The ANBU quickly flashed some seals, and a shiver trembled all around the apartment. Then, the Jounin moved forwards, flashing a different sort of hand seals, exhaling a giant ball of flames from his lips.
The flames reached through the door and were quick to spread from there to the rest of the room, setting on fire most of the wooden furniture, filing the apartment with thick, grey smoke.
The men closed the door and the ANBU completed his set of seals, binding the windows with his jutsu.
This way, the stupid demon would not be able to escape.
“Done,” the Jounin murmured in satisfaction as they stared at the flames from outside. “Let’s go now”.
Without turning back they disappeared.
The flames continued growing, and Naruto was still deeply asleep, unaware of the danger.

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

StarsOfYaoi:so you see that Sakura didn’t really hate Naruto, but she needed some time to sort things out. She hasn’t been a friend for Naruto now, but she will grow to be one in the future.
Itachi is a really confusing and deep chara. I had to ‘study’ him a lot through reading and rereading the parts of the manga where he appeared, and I could only barely brush a finger on his complexity. The reasons as to why he could have killed his whole family are many, I just took one that I felt more realistic. Of course, that was way before knowing the real reason.
So please keep in mind that this fic came long before any real hint about Itachi’s true reason was revealed.
I hope you will like as it comes clear as the story goes on…
Review, please! Don’t be shy! Make me happy, and ask if there is something you don’t get.
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Winter Release