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Conditional	By : Inuzuka Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1210 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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By Inuzuka
Premise: Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto have been apart for four years. They haven't seen each other in four years. Sasuke's betrayed his country, alienating all who treasured him, and Naruto has won it over, befriending all who alienated him. Sasuke, who feels no self-worth, and feels he has no one is allowing his amnesty to give him one last chance to give his life meaning, all his goals fulfilled. Naruto is in turmoil...why is he worried for the one who left him? Why is he glad the one who wished to kill him is back?
Archived: Only on aff.net as of ~~3.18.06~~ 5.22.06. -.-;; (Sorry, guys.)
Rating: NC-17 for later graphic sexual content, plus mentions of suicide, violence, and overall things requiring maturity.
Pairings: This focuses on the relationship between one Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. But since they were very much made by their surroundings, I can't avoid other people, and how they view them. There are blatant references to other relationships, but they don't play that large a port in the story.
Feedback: Reviews, please!
Characters: The majority of the Naruto cast.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the rights to anything to do with Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto, and claim no ownership over any of it's trademarks.
Author's Note: I'll use names more often in scenes with multiple characters, but when they're alone, it should be clear enough. I'm sorry about that. I do think the kyuubi's thoughts need to stay as they are, to set the mood of them—they'd be background to Naruto, his consciensce (sic) if he didn't know better (though, by now, I'm sure the more pwp-centered of you are wishing he didn't), and to say ""Et cetera" the kyuubi thought" would throw everything off, especially since it's dialogue and thought.
Also, I realized this means the water is flowing inland. Since the town isn't relevant (I'd initially planned to involve Inari, but it seemed overcomplicated when I wanted to focus on how they reacted, and how they were about their task), and I don't want to go back and change something that has already been published for a decent amount of time now, please ignore this.
Finally...the last chapter wasn't exactly contributing to the relationship, I know. If you bear with this one, it will again, but not right away. I'm struggling with making this a full-fledged story, so bear with me, please.
::Important!:: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins — read that (not sure if aff allows the link tag), if you don't know what they are, it will make Sasuke's later musing in this chapter make sense. I feel it should be pointed out I'm an athiest who finds the concept intriguing, not an evangelist.
Also, know I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter -- I've been sitting on it for months -- but if I'm to get going on this, I need to get something published. So, please, enjoy:
Chapter 5: Ripples
Black-clad legs threatened to give out as they rushed along the bank of a viciously rapid river. He'd been running for what seemed like hours, feeling desperate. His only solace had been in the red flares of chakra that had sprung up from the unconscious boy in the river. He had no idea why the boy was alive, despite the kyuubi, but he wasn't going to question it. He had been nervous ever since realizing the trees offered no opportunity for him to swing on anything after him, and the valley the river was in guaranteed he'd be swept away with him if he went in now.
Eventually, the river deepened, and he managed to grab him from it, noticing with some grim solace that he resumed breathing soon, steam coming from his mouth. Did the kyuubi evaporate the water? He put the shallowly breathing boy down on the grass, noticing him shiver. He's befriended the kyuubi...can it heal his body even when he's unconscious? He started a small fire, hoping whoever had attacked them back there wouldn't track them this far.
Shit, Naruto...It had been peaceful. Why did things have to be complicated like this?
He vaguely realized the predicament before him. Freezing, soaked, unconscious boy, and he couldn't believe it bothered him. He was an Uchiha! He had to undress a comrade so he wouldn't freeze! Now is not the time to blush! A physical attraction?
He settled on his heels, watching the firelight flicker over his comrade, the sky dark overhead, and the woods silent. Why did I run after him, anyways? Does he mean that much to me?
His face was impassive, as he silently pondered the situation. Why do I always have to be dependent on someone else to live?
Why couldn't I live blindly because it's my natural impulse to? Itachi, you bastard, did you want this? Is this why you did that to yourself, and set me on you? Arrogant bastard...to think you'd never be overcome.
Nii-sama did always seem depressed...was this why? I depended on you, drawing into myself when I thought I was better...I depended on you, drawing into Orochimaru when I realized the dobe had overcome me...I depended on the dobe when I found he had overcome you.
His eyes reflected the smallest hint of emotion. Am I so pathetic? He felt tired, and dead inside all over again. Am I so weak?
The breathing of the boy near him became raspy, and he shook his head. I can't let him die because I'm fucked up...do I only care for him because I need to live? He sat the blond up, pulling off the wet shirt with some effort, hating how Naruto's arms were limp. He ran his hands up those arms, hoping to instill some warmth, and a small smile graced his face, below him stirring, but not waking. Onyx eyes darkened even more, as he held the clammy body to him, feeling his heat sap away, as the firelight warmed his front. He looked down at the boy he held, the lashes that were gently closed over soft, marked cheeks.
Maybe he's a good enough reason...ah, what tousan would think. He tried to smile, but instead a small smirk quirked his lips. An Uchiha living for Konoha's demon. He was blushing heartily as he pulled the pants and boxers off the blond, wiping at his nose when he felt the legs on his shoulders. The air was colder than it had been in Konoha, but it wasn't terribly cold. He pulled off his cloak, laying it over the other boy, and felt his heart break a little when Naruto didn't curl towards the warmth. He'll wake up...
He stared intently into the fire as he let the body warm up, and after a while, he reluctantly let go of the now-warm blond, building a small shelter, and carrying the seemingly lifeless body over to it. If they find us...I'll hold them off. He blinked, noticing the posessive tone of his thoughts, but he went near the river to sense for presences anyhow.
He felt exhausted, inside and out, and as he stared into the river, thoughts of his "reason to live" came to him. The boy nude beneath his cloak...barely tanned flesh on a lithe body...those whisker marks, the pink lips slightly open...lashes carressing his cheeks...the true blond slightly curled up from the cold, needing heat...
Sasuke scowled at the river, and shifted uncomfortably. How many times have I taken watch somewhere?
...dobe never makes anything simple...
—(Hours later.)—
"Ungh..." Blue eyes slowly slipped open, the lean face they rested on gaining definable whisker marks, and fox-like features as the orbs shifted to a deep shade of red. They closed again for a moment, sensing for presences, and feeling nothing malicious, a moment later they re-opened, blue as the noon sky. A blond head lifted slightly, then once again dropped, soft grass stealthily responding to the weight. The fox-boy shifted under a dark cloak with an odd, high collar layed carefully over him, covering his now-stretched out body from armits to mid-thigh, and gazed at the green-yellow sky lit up by a sunrise, visible only at an angle, for he was in an enclosure of trees closed in by brush, encased but for a triangular opening.
I was attacked and... Naruto blinked, shifting through his thoughts. Fuck...my head hurts...did I hit it? Where the hell am I? He sighed, but the pounding in his head and overall weary of his body. His senses were dulling as the kyuubi stopped controlling his body and chakra, but an inhale of the fresh air gave him a whiff of the clean smells of fresh air, dirt, grass, and...something...(he sniffed again)...vanilla and cinnamon? The hell? He sat up, and he held up the cloak.
Sasuke? He... His eyes shot open. Is he here? Oh... Slowly, he remembered being attacked. The ache in his head was still rather evident, but at least his memory was intact. His whole body ached, in fact...like I'd been suffocated...he recalled when he was choked out on a mission, being legally dead via suffocation for a good handful of seconds...he had ached for days, the underfueled blood throwing his chakra all out of whack.
He layed back down, but the pain in his head kept him from sleep, and he rolled over. The boy peered around outside the opening. Noting a black figure at the edge of a river, he shivered, a slight chill in the morning air. Somewhere, a bird chirped, and his groggy, pained mind winced mentally at the sound. This is going to suck...a cough threatened him, but he held it in, not wanting his abused body to be wracked with it's force, and he closed his eyes, the blue gaze focusing a moment later, vaguely realizing he had the cloak clutched to him.
Is that...Sasuke? He squinted. Where the hell am I? Where's Neji, Kankuro, and Sai? What the hell happened? Fear filtered through him, and he looked around, noticing his weapons pouch in the corner of the makeshift room. His heart hurt merely thinking it, but what had been one of the conditions pounded into him when he became jonin? Don't trust so easily. He pulled out a kunai, and held it in a firm grip, but his eyes shone with fear. A part of him knew that he couldn't do it...it had to be a mistake! Sasuke wouldn't turn on us so soon...after all, I'm alive. That says something, right?
...right? Ah, figures. The one time I need the damn fox...
He took a step for the opening, and blinked.
Wait...
Why the FUCK am I naked?!?
—~~~~—
Sasuke's eyes flitted open reluctantly, as he sat "indian style" at the edge of the river, his entire body relaxed. His mind wasn't at ease, and meditation wasn't helping at all. It's never really helped at all, though, has it? The Uchiha wasn't exactly the inner-peace type. Turmoil bled inside of him, and emotion washed him. He knew it wasn't healthy at all...but, that was who he was. It wasn't like the scarred boy could hope ever for a healthy mental state.
Vaguely, he heard stirring from inside the tent, and slightly smirked, despite otherwise resolutions. His mind wandered back to the previous night, and sighed. His resolution had taunted him. Is my life really only worth the one I'm attached to? However, he felt that this might be worth it. I used to actually prefer to be alone with my thoughts. Now...
Now they frighten me.
"SASUKE!" The shout came from behind him, and the Uchiha jumped up and dashed over as he heard Naruto's voice filter out of the "shelter."
"What's wrong? What happened?!"
A blond-haired boy on the floor glared up to him, clutching his knees.
It was all a bit different when the both of you were awake, in shelter, and out of danger, Sasuke mused.
"Uh...buh..." He scowled, turning around. "B-be right back..." He returned with the clothes, turning around when the glares told him the blond wasn't uncurling from his ball unless he did, his cheeks lighting up a bit. I've seen him change before! What the hell?
Well...now...now he's not twelve. Sasuke answered himself. Very not twelve.
"You still haven't answered my question." Naruto pulled on his pants, and he grabbed his shirt. He glanced at the kunai on the ground, but shook his head. "Why was I n...what happened last night? I'm not sure I entirely trust being left naked in the fucking woods under your cloak!"
Sasuke glanced away. "You...um. Were thrown into the river."
"What? Into those rapids?" I guess that's why I'm wrecked... "How did you...?"
"I followed you downstream."
"Erm? What about the mission...?"
Sasuke was getting really uncomfortable.
"...you don't know what happened at all, do you?" Naruto looked at him curiously.
Sasuke gave a noncommital murmur, and started walking away from the river.
"Sasuke..." Blue eyes glanced away from the one they spoke to. A moment passed, and the two went away from the shelter. Why would he care? He felt scared now, and he couldn't explain it. "Why did you...?"
"I—" Sasuke stuttered, glancing over at the quieted boy.
"...you...?"
"I, um..." Sasuke cleared his throat, a dusting of pink on his face. Not exactly the response I had anticipated for saving his life. But...ugh. My mind's been in the gutter far too long... He blinked at the soft lips on the blond, blinking a few more times. "You're my friend." He looked Naruto in the eyes, ice-queen mask firmly in place, before starting to walk perpendicular away from the river.
Naruto shook his head, too perplexed to glare at him—not that he could out-glare an Uchiha, mind you. Teme. Did he really save me? Would he lie to me?
Is...he blushing...? Naruto looked at the retreating Uchiha, and scowled. When I get back to Konoha...
I am never going in a river again.
—~~~~—
The sun assaulted the pale dirt road the two walked on, the pale blue skies neverending, and the quiet, earth-smelling air calming any uncertainty. Black hair slightly stuck to porcelain flesh as the darks absorbed all heat, and sweat ran lightly down his face. Sasuke's clothes remained loose, and his eyes off to the side, his expression far from foreign to all those who'd known him before his desertion.
However, the cold glare the trees were recieving held a certain amount of compassion in it. The mask was there out of habit, but Uchiha Sasuke was far too tired to keep lying to himself. It was even more effort than he thought. If he thought that he'd escape snickering darkly at himself without questioning from the blond, it would've been entirely appropriate to the moment.
My best friend, Sasuke thought, amused at the words he'd chose in his less mature years. Is my reason to live, then. I wonder how he'd think of that? My nindo is to lean on the first person who'd have anything to do with me, and push everyone else away. Beautiful. His sandals kept going, hands stuffed firmly in pockets. Itachi, he at least got me to hate him. Orochimaru...he at least got me to envy him. Rage, and envy, ira and invidia...always had a bit too much pride... A few fingers were mentally ticked off.
Is it on purpose that my greed is symbolized by the frog and the colour yellow? I don't even want to think about lust... His scowl deepened, recalling last night, by the fire. I've ruined everyone I've ever leaned on...so many powerful people. That'd be gluttony, right? Orange...
Seems the only way I'm not sending myself to my own personal hell is I've never slacked in rushing to it. Goddamnit, dobe.
Why can't this be simple? Pure? I don't want you to be my demon, too. Sasuke briefly wondered if it was possible for that tree to burst in to flames any time soon. I'll give myself away one last time, I suppose...
He sighed, and straightened up. One last time.
—~~~~—
Blue eyes stayed steady on Sasuke's back, right where the Uchiha crest should've been. The world was vague to the last Uzumaki, as he pulled into himself, a quiet, bothered expression on his face.
Would it still be there...if I didn't beat him? Would he've stayed with us...if I didn't make him hate me, too, back then? But...he doesn't hate me anymore, I guess. I didn't want to say anything...I didn't want to mess it up. But he saved me...maybe he just did it to make something up to me? (For trying to kill me...)
"Don't speak of the past." The kyuubi's voice was quiet, last night's exertions nearly draining him. "It's ruined more than one. Kit, do you really think he'd go to such a length to show he's not mad at you?"
Yeah...but...we were friends. I mean...it's a bit frightening to think it, but...I'm the most familiar thing he has left...whatever he does...it can't mean anything, right? He's probably just confused.
The fox stayed quiet, so his vessel continued.
I mean...despite what I think I want. I should be his friend...I've promised him that I would be, right? I should stay away...I mean, he's fucked up right now, right? I've been there...
...it's so easy to be confused...he doesn't know what he wants.
"Neither do you."
I...I don't know what I want. But I don't...I don't want to lose him...
It'll be my fault if he leaves...
—~~~~—
The going slow as Naruto's chakra recovered, slowly, forcing them to rest more than once. Sasuke didn't dare ask Naruto if he wanted to be carried, and Naruto couldn't do any more than a commoner. The sun was setting by the time the two had gotten to a village, and had found out that it was within fire, where they were exactly, they didn't know. An injured ninja and his nearly-nukenin friend can't exactly ask directions to Konoha...
Luckily, Naruto had brought along enough money for them to have some ramen at the local stand, their headbands tucked away. Naruto's appetite was as fierce as ever, but the Uchiha was used to skipping meals, only picking at his meal. The weak-looking, well-trodden dirt that made up the roads of the town was basked dimly in reddish tones, contrasting with the murky black of the building's shadows.
A lantern hung within the ramen stand, casting orange-tinted on the two weary travellers, the kind-looking old man running the place looking younger than he would as he cleaned dishes, his back to them.
The two ate in silence, merely appreciating the comfortable seats. Sasuke leaned against the counter in his seat, watching fireflies dance outside as Naruto finished, stealing glances at the blond boy when he knew he wasn't looking. After a moment, the blond stood, flashing the raven-haired nin what he hoped to be a comforting smile.
After they ate, they went up to an inn, paying for a room with cash, and heading up. Both kicked off their shoes as they stepped into the room, and Naruto went in to the tiny bathroom, not breaking the quiet. The sound of the shower running was heard, as Sasuke sat on the bed. Even if I've finally resolved to say something to him about how I feel... Sasuke glared blandly at a large mirror on the wall which the bed pointed at. What do I say? I can't kiss him but he didn't seem to move when I almost did. What the hell do I do? Why the hell am I thinking about this?
Maybe being the ice bastard wasn't all bad...
Sasuke muttered curse words at the irony of the situation, and a part of him wished he led a simpler life so the fact he was sitting on the bed of an inn on a summer night as his...attraction showered meant more than it did. I'll wait for the right moment. Or...should I wait for him to do something? If he doesn't want this, he won't say anything. He's never held back before, on anything. Sasuke blinked. Why would he now? A faint thumping met his ears, and Sasuke's eyes widened, a small noise coming from his throat.
He wasn't...of course he wasn't. Why would that make a thump noise? The image came to his head all the same. A bit lip, blue eyes closed lightly, head tilted back against the shower wall, wet, lithe body squirming under the stream, one calloused hand from a lightly muscled arm...Sasuke screwed his eyes shut as his hands balled into the sheets tightly, resisting...to take advice from his dream Naruto.
The image kept going despite his will, and the Uchiha glared at the wall.
—~~~~—
"Shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck DAMNIT." The wall of the shower looked a bit worse for it's wear as a blond head bashed against it. "This isn't working. My fault if he leaves? What happened to when I would just kick his ass if he left?" Naruto muttered sharply to the thrum of water.
"Perhaps you'd like to do more than kick his ass?" The kyubbi offered, what Naruto imagined to be his voice reeking of innocence.
"Bastard...how is that helping?"
"Inspiration?"
"Go back to sleep." Sasuke, I don't understand you. What the hell do you want? He gave the wall a final, defeated thump. Since when has he been worth this much frustration? "Since you've been obsessed with him, perhaps?" Fuck YOU, fox!
Sasuke never reacts to anything! When he does it's...agh! Naruto turned the water off, stepping out of the shower, and grabbing a towel to dry off, and pulling on his boxers and t-shirt, before walking back out. You know what? I'll just make him react!
So he stepped into the room, ready to just say something. He was going to make that ice bastard react, going to find out just what was wrong with...did he just squeak? He looked over to see Sasuke lying on his side under the sheets, hands firmly at his sides, as Naruto peered at him curiously. "Uh, didn't you want to take—" Naruto started, and a sharp, strangled "NO." cut him off.
Naruto's eyes twitched, but he went over to his bed nontheless, nervously chuckling as he sat on the edge. "S-sorry about this. I'm sorry things couldn't be normal here. I know he's sort of gone now, but...just know it'll be better here, right?"
Sasuke slightly turned over, watching Naruto's face. Blue eyes and whiskered face held a small, sad smile, and Sasuke, spoke, quietly, remembering the flawless skin he'd seen the previous night. "How did you get those scars, on your face?"
Taken aback, Naruto blinked for a quiet moment before replying. "I've had them since birth, I guess."
"I remembered them. It was rather bad before I left, a sort of daze...but I remembered those whiskers, and I don't know why."
"W-what?!?" Naruto peered over at his companion, but he'd already rolled over so his back faced him. He remembered my...?
Exhausted, Naruto shook his head and rolled over, falling asleep quickly despite the troubling yet somehow comforting thought. Fox...
Sasuke's eyes opened slightly, his face pressed into the pillow, as he gazed out the window, the onyx orbs looking innocent. They closed softly as he went to sleep, the slightly earthy scent of the room lingering in his nostrils. Eyelids only fluttered as he recalled that thick, earthy scent that had been deep in the bowels of his "other" home. The ornate headboard, the dark hallways, the soft rugs piled on the cruel, concrete floor. When his eyes opened again, he was back there.
That earthen scent invaded his nostrils, and a lantern was in the corner. He looked younger, and couldn't feel his aches. His stomach churned, and he felt invaded, and was vaguely aware of hands on his porcelain stomach. His breath hitched as he felt fangs run along his neck, and a tongue follow afterwards, thick and heavy. He slightly turned his head, and the reptile features he saw stilled his heart, chilling him to the bone. He felt himself lifted into a sitting position, his eyes looking down on those reptilian features. Something pressed behind him, his hand touched it, and held it.
Sasuke's last thought as he jumped out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom was how it never stopped hurting, every time, and he still did it. Vaguely, he noticed that he was in a hotel room, but which world was real wasn't at first apparant. He was still back there, and they were coming for him. I need to run, Sasuke thought, what little he ate finding it's way to the toilet bowl. He was on his knees, eyes watering, and stomach still churned as he retched again. I need to—
"Sasuke?" Naruto was standing at the bathroom door, sleepy eyes showing concern. "Are you all right?"
The raven haired boy looked over, and studies that whiskered face, the rounded eyes, the honest smile. He remembered a time when it scared him, to actually feel for something, but right now those whiskers...that warmth of him. Like a little fox...far better for a black cat than a snake. His eyes were a bit wider than normal, and his breathing was heavy as he straightened, and rinsed his mouth out from the sink, flushing the toilet before moving toewards the door.
He gave a weak smile at that face, that face that seemed alive, and actually there, in the moment, before moving past him into the room. "'mfine." He eyed Naruto's still turned back before quietly swapping their pillows, with a deep sigh. Flopping back down on his own bed, with the scent of Naruto and soap in his nostrils, he realised again just how much he always had to lean on someone else to get past the last person he leaned on.
And I thought I was avoiding all that whiny drama...
The blond walked back over, a worried look on his face, and a heavy heart. A deep sigh left him, as he plopped back down on his bed. Not sure that was the reaction I was looking for. "You sure you're all right?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Sasuke replied, turning his back towards the blond again. I'll be fine.
Author's Notes:

Will you all trust me if I tell you that I have my own logic for why Naruto stayed unconscious for so long, or should I explain it?
Because it's probably really shitty logic. Just know I don't consider it a deus ex machina. The blows he took could kill people, and the skull and brain would be harder to repair for the kyuubi then just the tissues. Also, having to constantly revive cells so there wasn't any permanent damage? Yeah. It's tricky stuff, eh? He abused his body very far to do it, but he wouldn't want to die. In this continuity, I believe kyuubi would believe he could live past Naruto, and he tells himself this.
It's his reason to help the little boy, because he's above all mortal things, he's a demon, and that's his reason to exist...he's very proud, and maybe even considers himself a demi-god. It's really hard to write him, because you only get to meet uber-wrath kyuubi. I'm sure he has other sides. Anyhow.
*sighs* I really hope it's all fixed up soon. I want my reviews...:p
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Chapter 5: Ripples

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