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Of Silver Linings and Blue Yonder	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 18517 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or make any profit of it. Kishimoto owns it

Chapter List
- 43
- 44
- 45
Author's note: I know I promised a fluffy chapter after the previous dark ones, but my family had to put our dog to sleep tonight and this is my way of honouring him. Writing has always been my way of dealing with things and I needed to write this for him. If you don't want to read this, that's okay. I won't mind at all. I promise that the next time I update this chapter, it will be a fluffy prompt.
Warnings: Death of a pet; mourning; set in the future when Keiko is three years old
If the chapter looks like a mess, I'm sorry. I was crying throughout writing this, so yeah ...
Chapter 44
He'd known he would have to give him up eventually. Even with their supposed nine lives, no cat was immortal – everything would be a lot easier if they were.
Yet when the verdict came – lymph node cancer in an advanced stage, nothing much that could be done anymore except make the rest of his life as comfortable as possible – it fucking hurt.
It fucking hurt to realise that he would have to give up Shukaku soon, that he was forced to count down the days he still had left with him. That was the huge downside of having pets: they always left you much too soon.
"I'm sorry, Naruto," Sasuke murmured, breaking the heavy silence which had fallen between them when they had got back into the car; the carrier with Shukaku in it resting carefully on Naruto's lap.
Blue eyes stared down at the thin package which contained the medicine which would make life easier for Shukaku. He then looked at the grey cat in the carrier, who at the moment was peacefully asleep, looking like nothing was wrong with him. Naruto wished that was true.
"I know he's sixteen years old and that I can't expect him to live forever, but …" He took a shuddering breath, his sight turning blurry. "Let's go home. Just – just drive us home."
"You want me to tell the kids?" Sasuke suggested softly, starting the car.
Naruto just nodded and turned to stare out of the window, his arms clenched around the carrier, fearing that if he opened his mouth now, he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears threatening to escape.
Sixteen years was old for a cat – and yet it still didn't feel long enough.
He waited just long enough for Shukaku to step out of his carrier, watching him walk slowly into the kitchen, before he went straight upstairs, ignoring – for the first time in his life – his children's questioning faces.
He rushed to his bedroom and closed the door, the strength in his legs leaving him abruptly. He sank down to the floor and this time he couldn't hold back the tears anymore, the sobs hurting his chest with the force of them. All he could think of was how soon he wouldn't have Shukaku anymore, how it would most likely came down to having to put him to sleep if his suffering became too much, and the thought of it all, of losing the cat he'd rescued from a garbage bin together with his brother when they'd just been kittens, was too much.
He was thirty-nine years old, but he was bawling like a fucking kid at the thought of losing his cat and he thought he should stop crying, should be an adult about this, because well, pets die every day, nothing that can be done about that, but he couldn't. All he could think of was losing Shukaku, who'd been at his side for sixteen years – and who was slowly losing the battle to cancer.
His cat was a fighter, he knew, he was strong, but even he couldn't fight this monster. The vet had been very clear about that. At best he still had six months, and how was that fair? How was it fair for his cat to get to this age only to be beaten by fucking cancer?
It wasn't fair. Not one fucking bit. And that fucking sucked.
The door opened slowly and a pair of black socks briefly passed his blurry vision before he felt his mate sink down next to him on the floor.
"I told them," Sasuke said quietly and handed him a handkerchief. "They're giving him all sorts of sweets now to make him feel better. I think only Kei really understands what's going on."
Naruto nodded, taking another shuddering breath. He pressed the handkerchief against his eyes, but that did little to stem the flow of tears still pouring down, leaving hot wet tracks behind on his cheeks.
"You're sure you don't want to try giving him chemo?" Sasuke asked softly. "You know we can afford it."
"I know," Naruto croaked out, "but it wouldn't be fair to him. You heard the vet: even with chemo, he'd only get a couple of months at most and he'd be nauseous and sick and miserable all the time. I – I can't do that to him. It – it wouldn't be fair to have him suffering for however long he – he still has left."
"I'm sorry, Naruto, I wish there was something we could do," Sasuke murmured and wrapped his arms around him, coaxing his face into his shoulder. "Let it all out, you don't need to hold back."
Naruto hadn't even realised he'd been trying to hold back his sobbing until he found himself inhaling his husband's familiar scent, heard his soothing voice, and then it was like the dams broke all over again.
As he clung to Sasuke, barely able to keep his sobbing muffled as to not alarm their children downstairs, as he felt like he would never get enough air again in his lungs, Sasuke held him tightly against him, rubbing strong hands up and down his back, and let him cry.
And even though Shukaku was still with them, Naruto felt like he'd already lost a part of him today.
And there was no way to ever get that piece back.
It went horribly fast after that.
Two weeks after the verdict they had to rush back to the vet when Shukaku started having trouble breathing and refused to eat his food, which wasn't him at all. The vet ended up giving him an injection to help drain the liquid around his lungs, so he could breathe easier, and sent them home again with stronger painkillers.
As Naruto watched Kurama curl around a sleeping Shukaku on the pillow they loved to share and start tenderly cleaning his small head, Naruto's heart broke.
Because he instinctively knew Shukaku wouldn't be able to stay that much longer with them anymore. His little man was fighting so hard still, he could see that, everyone could see that, but he was growing tired as well. He could barely take more than six steps before sinking down, panting harshly, and they had taken to carrying him to the litterbox every time he showed signs of needing to go.
He was still eating, was still lively at times, but Naruto could practically see the life draining out of him and it had his heart shattering to pieces.
Shukaku was still fighting to hold on – but the end was nearing. This was a battle his little man couldn't win, no matter how hard he tried.
Three weeks after the awful verdict had fallen, Shukaku was ready to go.
Naruto had prayed for his little man to hold on until the end of the year, but Shukaku couldn't anymore. He knew it when they woke up and Shukaku wouldn't eat. He wouldn't eat his food, wouldn't accept the sweets, couldn't take his medicine …
He could only lie next to Naruto on the couch, his little chest heaving painfully with each breath he took.
Naruto stroked him carefully, offered soothing noises and soft kisses, but he knew – Shukaku couldn't anymore.
"Sasuke, can you call the vet?" he asked quietly when Sasuke approached the couch after dinner. "It's time."
Black eyes softened and Sasuke brushed the back of his hand against Naruto's cheek briefly. "I'll go call her. I'll get the kids to say goodbye too."
Naruto nodded, pressing his lips tightly shut. He could already feel the treacherous hot sting of tears pressing behind his eyes and he would have laughed if the entire situation wasn't so damn miserable. Who knew he still had tears left to cry?
The vet was willing to make a visit to their home, so Shukaku could fall asleep for the final time in a familiar setting, surrounded by the ones he loved.
Kurama must have felt something was amiss, because he kept whining and rubbing his head against Shukaku's, as if he was trying to get him to move again and be the Shukaku again they had always known.
Shukaku mewled and bumped back weakly, but didn't move. Naruto's brave fighter had given his all, but now he couldn't anymore. He'd been strong until the very end. Now it was Naruto's turn to be strong and let him go so he wouldn't suffer any longer.
"It's okay, you've been so brave, my little man," he whispered, kissing Shukaku's head tenderly. "You can go now, it's okay. We'll take care of your little brother, I promise. I love you so much."
Shukaku meowed softly, weak spinning making his body vibrate for one last time.
He'd been strong for sixteen years – now it was time for him to fall asleep one last time.
Shukaku drifted off softly, painlessly, in Naruto's arms; purring until the very last moment. Naruto's heart broke into a million pieces, just like the hearts of his children who started bawling their eyes out once they fully realised Shukaku was gone forever.
Naruto hadn't wanted to let him go, but he couldn't see him suffer any longer anymore either. And while the pain of the loss would haunt him for a long time, he also knew that Shukaku was finally at peace.
He'd fought for three whole weeks, even longer than that, and now he could finally rest completely.
There would be no more pain for his little man, only peace.
His little man was finally completely at ease.
AN2: In memory of Zorro, 13/04/2020
Cuddles
Melissa
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Of Silver Linings and Blue Yonder