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Love Me When I'm Gone	By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story.

Chapter List
- 42
- 43
- 44
Additional Disclaimer:
All of the lyrics listed in this chapter are real songs from real artists. I do not have any rights to their content. The first song is called Stay, and the artists are Rihanna and Mikky Ekko. The second song listed is called Cold, and the artist is the band Crossfade. The third and final song listed is called My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark, and the artist is Fall Out Boy. I highly encourage you to listen to the songs if you are unfamiliar with them to give this chapter the right feeling. I do not profit from the use of the lyrics in this story in any way. They are simply used to enhance the story line.

43. Concert
The next item on the agenda for the day is to announce the upcoming event to the people of Konoha. They are getting very little warning to prepare for the celebration, which will happen this very night, but Gaara has no patience to give them any more time. I don’t either. I just want to get back to Suna as quickly as possible and marry Gaara. Then my baby will be safe – an official heir of Subaku no Gaara and protected for life by the Leaf. Then I will be able to live out the rest of my short life and enjoy what time I have left with him.
I follow Tsunade and the elders out onto the balcony of the Hokage’s building. The people have already been gathered to hear her announcement. I stand in the back and off to the side, sticking to the shadows until the right moment. There are many people I know in the crowd: Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, Shikamaru and many of the other shinobi I have come to know over the last several weeks. There are also lots of patrons which I see at work most nights. There are an equal amount of people I have not yet met, and I wonder what they will think of this arrangement.
Tsunade stands before the crowd, her blond hair rustling in the light breeze. She raises her hands to them and they begin to settle down. Once quiet, she begins speaking in a clear authoritative tone.
“People of Konoha!” she shouts. “I have an important announcement to make. Your elders have entered into an agreement – this very day – which will strengthen our village’s relationship with the Village Hidden in the Sand. This agreement will extend peace to the people of our villages for many years!” The crowd erupts in cheers at her declaration.
“The Kazekage of Suna, Subaku no Gaara, has elected to take a wife for himself,” she continues as they start to quiet down again. “He has agreed to accept a leaf shinobi as wife.”
The entire throng of people drop off suddenly into dead silence. Naruto begins staring around the crowd in surprise. He had expected them to be as excited for Gaara as he is. He hasn’t considered that they don’t know of our relationship the way he does. I feel fear, anger, dread, indifference, and dozens of other emotions roll over the crowd.
“How will this shinobi be chosen?!” One of the mothers shouts from the crowd, her fear for her daughter prompting her boldness. “Will the woman have a choice?!”
“A candidate has already been selected to present to the Kazekage,” Tsunade assures the crowd and I take my cue to step forward beside her. She gestures to me saying, “Utako Mizuke, a newly appointed shinobi to our village, has accepted this as her life’s mission. She will retain her status as a Leaf shinobi, and will be called upon if a time of great need arises. However, most of her life will be spent in Suna as the Kazekage’s bride.”
I expect the relief that I feel wash over the crowd at the clarification, but I am completely surprised to feel an equal amount of anger. Many of the patrons that come to see me each night have grown fond of me. They do not want me to come to harm, or to be forced into a mission like this one. Many, many people within the crowd still see Gaara as a monster – the child who caused so much destruction to their village in his rage and bloodlust before. They have not seen the change in him over time, or the way he now rules his own people with care. This makes me sad and angry.
“You don’t have to do this!” One of the men shouts from the crowd. “How can we ask someone to marry him this way!?”
“Was she ordered to do this?” A concerned woman shouts beside him.
“Mizuke, you can say no!” a small girl looks to me with tearful eyes.
Their concern moves me, dulling some of my anger at their continued misperception of the man I love. I raise my own hands, urging them to quiet down and let me speak. I can also feel Gaara’s presence within the crowd now – watching me – but keeping himself hidden from their view. It hurts him to hear their fear, but he expects it and does not blame them for it. Naruto’s anger shines as clear as a beacon to me, seething over their continued rejection of his friend who has changed so much.
“You misunderstand,” I shout in a clear tone, “I was not ordered by Tsunade, or anyone else, to marry the Kazekage.”
The crowd is once again completely silent now, awaiting my explanation. I want to be as honest with them as I can, so I choose my words carefully.
“I volunteered for this assignment,” I smile out to them – projecting my confidence. “The Kazekage of Suna is a great and powerful man. I spent a brief time within his village before coming here. He rules there with strength and fairness, and works diligently to protect and provide for his people. He is no longer the man you once knew.” I can feel skepticism from them but not outright disbelief.
“Tsunade informed me of his interests,” I continue, “and I volunteered because I love the people of this village! I also love the people who showed me equal kindness in Suna! This is an opportunity which would bring years of peace and security to both villages. As the physical embodiment of this commitment, the Kazekage and I would represent the unity of our interests in the shinobi world. As the Kazekage rules and makes decisions for his people, I would stand beside him as an ever present reminder of the vitality this union brings to both villages. I am not being forced into marrying anyone. I have full confidence that I can win his affections in time. This is truly the desire of my heart.”
I feel Gaara’s love for me stir, and pride swell in his chest at my ability to handle the public. Naruto is near tears in happiness for his friend, and a twinge of jealousy for all that Gaara has achieved runs through him. Kakashi and Sakura simply watch the crowd, evaluating the response from them. The crowd seems to accept my explanation for the most part. There are still those who are unhappy, but many of them are appeased and even excited that this is something I want, instead of something I am being forced to do.
“Mizuke has graced us for many weeks now as a provider of entertainment,” Tsunade jumps back in to regain control of the crowd. “How many of you have enjoyed her performances?” A cheer rises up from the crowd and I realize even more of them have trickled through than I had realized. “Tonight, Mizuke is going to perform for all the people of Konoha! At this concert, we will present her as our candidate to the Kazekage. If he accepts her, he will bring her to Suna for their wedding.”
The crowd cheers again and I can tell the excitement of the upcoming concert is beginning to buzz through them. “You do not have much time,” Tsunade continues. “If you would like to prepare for the event tonight, I would encourage you to return to your shops and homes and do so quickly! This is an event that everyone is encouraged to attend. Come show the Kazekage how much Mizuke is valued as a member of our village!”
With a big cheer the crowd begins to scatter. Gaara melds into the background and his thoughts whisper to me that he is returning to his own quarters to prepare for tonight’s event. He wants to spend the day with me but there is no time for that. His council is watching his every movement now. Naruto bounds over to me with the biggest smile I have ever seen him wear. He throws his arms around my waist, lifting me into the air and spinning around before setting me back on my feet.
“This is so great!!” he shouts.
Be careful Naruto! I shout mentally at him. These people do not – and cannot – know of Gaara and I’s relationship. “Well,” I say aloud for the benefit of those standing by. “He still has to accept me.”
Naruto throws his head back and laughs. “Are you kidding?!” he shouts again, gesturing to the crowd around him. “You make these guys drool all the time. You’re gonna knock him dead!”
I smile back at him and then decide to go ahead and join in on the laugh.
---------------------------------------
As I stand behind the curtain on the great stage that was assembled for this event, my stomach churns with nervousness. I am not afraid of Gaara’s reaction, obviously. I am terrified of whether I will truly be able to pull off the test that Kakashi has set-up for me. In tonight’s performance I will sing 12 songs, dance throughout, and most importantly appear to change outfits 4 different times. In reality, I will never actually change clothes. To heighten the illusion, I will change before their very eyes – increasing the complexity and effort required.
I peek through the curtain, but I don’t really need to see the crowd to know that hundreds of people have come out and are awaiting my performance. It was decided that the concert would be held in the grand stadium used to host the Chunin exams. It is packed with people. Vendors are walking the isles, selling everything from sweets to ramen to the impatient attendees.
I take a deep steadying breath. Just as the sun sets, I step out onto the stage. I decided to do my performance at twilight to increase the visibility of some of the fire jutsu I will be using, as well as the effects that have been arranged. The crowd begins to hush as they take note of my presence on the stage. In their minds, I am hidden under a completely concealing black cloak like I used in Suna. In reality, I am wearing the first outfit they will see tonight. It is the black gown I wore earlier when I was introduced to my future husband. In each outfit, I will also work to make my image appear as if I am not showing my first true signs of pregnancy.
Tsunade has walked out with me and now stands beside me. I face the platform of seating which has been specially set-up for the councils of Konoha and Suna. Gaara sits in the dead center of them. He is dressed in his blue and white Kazekage robes. His massive hat sits on his head, and this time his face is covered from view. However, just like the first time I saw him in Suna, his bright jade eyes capture me and I can feel warmth spread through me.
This settles my nerves and I can feel my spine straighten. My trademark seductive smile creeps onto my face, and I can’t wait to show off for him. Tsunade has a chair right beside him, but she will wait to take it until I begin. She raises her hands to the crowd.
“Honorable Kazekage,” she shouts out in Gaara’s direction, “You have graciously offered to consider accepting a bride from Konoha. We have met this challenge and would like to present you with one of the most talented and powerful young women from our village. Utako Mizuke will perform for you, and for her people, tonight. We sincerely hope that she meets your expectations and you accept her as your bride to further the unity and peace of our villages.”
He nods an affirmation for me to begin, leaning back in his chair and lacing his fingers as if somewhat bored. His sand and gourd rest beside him on the platform. I wait for Tsunade to return to her own seat beside him before beginning, and this gives me several minutes to firmly grasp every mind in the stadium a little more firmly and start shifting my illusion. In their mind’s eye, I rip off the cloak revealing my real figure-hugging black dress and falsely flat stomach. The first murmurs of excitement begin to ripple through the crowd.
I let my voice begin, dipping low and sultry into the twilight air.
All along it was a fever… A cold sweat hot-headed believer

I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something,"

He said, "If you dare come a little closer."

Round and around and around and around we go

Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know.
I have designed a dance which drifts me across the stage as if a lover is pulling me towards him. I dance with the invisible suitor, turning my back to him and running my hand up beside my head the way I would if I were standing before Gaara and stroking his face as he stands behind me. I wrap my own arms around my waist in an embrace.
Not really sure how to feel about it… Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like I can't live without you… It takes me all the way.

I want you to stay
It's not much of a life you're living

It's not just something you take – it's given

Round and around and around and around we go

Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know.
I twirl across the stage as if dancing with the suitor. My body moves and flows as if courting a lover and accepting his affections. My smile is delighted and excited, my eyes mostly closed as I move. I use my vocal jutsu to both project extra volume and to stir the wind. For now, this is a low level jutsu, requiring very little chakra or effort. The wind kicks up my figure, letting my feet dance across the gusts – essentially dancing across the air. I feel a hushed murmur of awe spread through the crowd. This is something new for them.
Not really sure how to feel about it.

Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like I can't live without you.

It takes me all the way… I want you to stay.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on…

Ooh, ooh, ooh, 'cause I need this hole gone…

Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving

'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving.

Not really sure how to feel about it… Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like I can't live without you… It takes me all the way.

I want you to stay, stay.

I want you to stay, oh.
As my song comes to a close I wrap both my arms tightly around me as if settling down into my lovers arms.
I sing three more songs of a similar nature: slow, seductive, and filled with longing. I let my eyes drift over and over again to where Gaara is seated… obviously conveying to the crowd my desire to please him. He sits stone still watching me from over his mask, but his eyes are fixated on me… never leaving my figure. I dance slowly and powerfully, lifting myself along my gusts of wind – never more than a couple feet above the surface of the stage. I can feel desire coursing through Gaara, and for perhaps the first time he truly enjoys my performance – knowing it is for him alone. He longs to take me into his arms. As my fourth song drifts to a close, I start to psyche myself up.
Here goes… transition number two.
I signal the musicians and with a sudden rush the tempo changes. The music is strong and surging, rocking through me and through the crowd with a chugging, near violent sorrowful tone. I have designed this playlist to represent my relationship with Gaara, and this is the song he would have picked to sing to me. I had heard it running through his head several times. It’s my voice singing, rough and rocky – but he knows it’s in here for him.
Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right,

I never stopped to think of you

I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win.

You are the antidote that gets me by,

Something strong like a drug that gets me high…

What I really meant to say, Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say, Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold
I quickly shift the image of my illusion and I can feel the sudden drain on my mental energy. I work to push through it. To the crowd, it looks like I grab the hem of my dress, ripping it up at a sideways angle. In a flash, my costume appears to tear away into a tight red halter-top, ending high on my waist. Beneath it appears to be small black shorts clinging to my body. It looks as if I have leather gloves on my hands, and a small black choker around my neck. Beneath it hangs a leaf symbol.
The crowd cheers at the transition, completely buying into the illusion. Gaara is also intrigued and remembers Kakashi’s mention of testing camouflage. He is impressed.
To you I'm sorry about all the lies

Maybe in a different light, You could see me stand on my own again

Cause now I can see

You were the antidote that got me by

Something strong like a drug that got me high

What I really meant to say, Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say, Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold
I leap across the stage on the gusts of air drifted up by my voice – higher than before. I use my hands to tug at my hair in frustration and apology. I tug at my halter top – careful not to display Gaara’s mark beneath my illusion. I spin and shout the lyrics to the crowd, extending my body out over them at times using the wind. It stirs their excitement. Many of them are singing along with the song. The song shifts and carries more emotion and apology into the instruments.
I never really wanted you to see

The screwed up side of me that I keep

Locked inside of me so deep

It always seems to get to me

I never really wanted you to go

So many things you should have known

I guess for me there’s just no hope

I never meant to be so cold
I carry myself through three more songs, keeping with the driving, pulsing tones. My songs, my voice and my movements convey frustration, passion, desire, and pain. The crowd is becoming more and more excited by my performance: jumping, shouting, throwing their hands high in the air, and singing along with me. Gaara is enjoying himself, continuing to stare at me through blank eyes. He is amused by the crowd’s enthusiasm and the obvious enjoyment I’m getting from it.
They adore her… he murmurs mentally to himself.
As my eighth song comes to a close, I prepare myself for my third and most difficult transition. I signal the musicians again and the song truly begins to chug. The beat is fast, hard and driving. I throw my fist in the air and pump it towards the crowd again and again until they join me in the motion. I lift my hands in the air over and over, signaling them to really get enthusiastic. The crowd is moving and weaving together like a singular live animal. The jutsu I perform soon is something I designed specifically to take energy from rhythm and flow in my surroundings. Their enthusiasm is perfect for it. I let my voice ring out, even rougher than before. This song is entirely dedicated to the possessive rage of a lover and the desperation of need. It’s also really to get the crowd going… I just can’t resist!
Be careful making wishes in the dark

Can't be sure when they've hit their mark

And besides in the mean… meantime, I'm… just dreaming of tearing you apart

I'm in the details with the devil

So now the world can never get me on my… level

I just got to get you out of the cage

I'm a young lovers rage

Gonna need a spark to ignite!

My songs know what you did in the dark!!
I use the rhythm of the dance to begin my fire jutsu. I can feel the heat building in my skin. I use the rhythm of the crowd to boost my jutsu to a higher level than I’ve ever used before. I make the necessary hand signs as I spin with my back to the crowd.
“Fire Demon Jutsu,” I whisper to myself during the lull in the music.
I use the beginning of the flames to create my next transition. As I turn to face the crowd again, the flames lick up my body from my toes to my head in a single motion. As they flow across me, the clothing that I’m wearing appears to burn onto my very skin and change. It gives the appearance of a magic trick, which only seems to help the minds of the audience accept it.
This is going to work!! I think in excitement.
In their minds eye, I am now standing in a full body suit in deep red. It clings to the entire surface of me like a second skin, highlighting every curve of my body – exactly as it used to be. It has cut-out sections running in flame-like patterns all across the surface of my legs, back belly, and shoulders. It shimmers gold in the light as I turn, fading back to deep red and giving me the image of a living flame. Gaara sits forward slightly in his seat, his eyes raking across my body at the transition. He wonders if this is the real outfit I am wearing and his desire flares.
So light em up up up, light em up up up, light em up up up,
I'm on fire!!

So light em up up up, light em up up up, light em up up up,
I'm on fire!!
The fire explodes around me. Flames burst from beneath me and shoot into the darkening sky over 10 feet high with the force of the rhythm. I throw my hands out to the sides, and then rake them through my hair letting the flames flow outward and to the sides from me. Gaara is now leaning fully forward in his seat, entranced despite himself by my body as I move. He understands what I have done. I have completed the image from his glass vase, truly burying myself in the heart of the flame and desire. I rake my hands across my skin, the way I remember Gaara’s hands flowing in the heat of his passion. The crowd is completely beside themselves with excitement.
A constellation of tears on your lashes

Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes

In the end everything collides

My childhood spat back out the monster that you see

My songs know what you did in the dark!!

So light 'em up, up, up; Light 'em up, up, up; Light 'em up, up, up

I'm on fire!!

So light 'em up, up, up; Light 'em up, up, up; Light 'em up, up, up

I'm on fire!!
Gaara’s breathing is coming quicker now and his patience is fading. He wants to take me home and make love to me. He wants to touch the beauty that he sees. He wants all of these eyes to go away. He doesn’t want to pretend anymore. He uses his frustration to fuel the remaining act he must portray, narrowing his eyes, but allowing his lust to shine through. His muscles tremble and the sand beside him stirs slightly. Several members of both councils are watching him closely.
I have picked out the last three songs which will flow perfectly from this one. They drive and pulse and flow. They burn the minds of the audience with desire and Gaara’s tension grows with each passing verse and chorus. Now the time has come for my final transition. I sing out a clear tone, commanding the wind to aid me. I make the necessary hand signs and then whisper, “Wind Walker Jutsu.”
The wind kicks up beneath my feet and I dance on the air current straight off the stage. I’m twirling and spinning completely suspended in the air now. Gaara reacts instinctively, standing and throwing his sand forward in a platform beneath me to keep me from falling. It is unnecessary, but I allow my melody to come to a close – settling down on the sand he provided as he pulls me closer and closer to him.
When I am only about 15 feet in front of his platform the sand pauses, and he stands to stare at me through narrowed eyes. I take a small smoke bomb and throw it to my feet. It flashes and smokes covering my fourth transition perfectly for only the briefest moment. In that moment, I spin and shift my illusion again quickly. I feel fatigue slam into my mind like a freight train, but I push through it once again. The audience gasps as I stand before Gaara now in a long white kimono. It is modest – a jarring transition from my fiery display. The gown is full and complete: hugging my fake waist, drawing into my knees tightly and then flaring out again at the ankles. The entire thing appears to be silk, covered in a fine layer of white lace.
Gaara’s eyes are wide as dinner plates. He did not expect this level of display tonight and the sight of me in a wedding-style gown has his heart in his throat. He fights hard to get back in character – narrowing his eyes. The entire crowd has gone dead silent and still – waiting to see his decision on accepting or denying me. I realize suddenly that there is the smallest twinge of fear coursing through the crowd. It’s coming from the patrons who were at the bar the night he watched me dance before. They saw his anger at my display, they saw me slap him, and they fear he will reject or even harm me for it now. I do the only thing I can think of to allay their fears. I want this to be a happy moment.
I bow my head and shoulders, casting my eyes down in a sign of respect. I am submitting myself to him, eliminating the perception of defiance and anger. His expression softens slightly and more of his sand drifts to me slowly. It gently cups and caresses my face, drawing it up once again to look into his eyes. I can feel the worry from the crowd fall off their shoulders, strengthened by their surprise at his gentle gesture. He simply turns to face Tsunade still sitting in her chair and nods once in approval.
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Love Me When I'm Gone

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43. Concert