Love Me When I'm Gone | By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story. |
As I watch the sun rise through my bedroom window, I once again breathe deeply the scent of Earth and musk that I have come to equate with feeling alive. Gaara is asleep, lying limply on top of and to one side of me. I gaze at his sleeping face, nuzzled against my breast, and smile at how peaceful he looks this way despite the deep black rings around his eyes. It breaks my heart to think that he spent most of his life without ever knowing this peace – without knowing sleep, much less what it felt like to be loved.
I almost realized too late last night that I cannot risk falling asleep while I am with him. That is going to make things more difficult than I was counting on. If I fall asleep, I risk him waking before I do, and discovering my illusion. I must find times when I can safely sleep while he is away. I’ve consoled myself with watching him sleep, and waking him up every few hours to convince him to make love to me again. I’ve discovered that if I can get him aroused enough before he’s really conscious – his arousal overrules his fatigue. I remember discovering before we were ever lovers how good his natural instincts were, and I smile to myself. I should probably feel bad for stealing so much sleep from him but I can’t bring myself to. In these wakeful hours, I keep drifting away in thought to how little time I truly have left with him.
While my thoughts drift, I suddenly feel the smallest flutter in my stomach. My body goes rigid with surprise and I hold my breath. I wait for a long time. Perhaps I just imagined… then another flutter, slightly stronger. Is that…? It can’t be… it’s too early… But sure enough, despite my denial, another tiny flutter resonates deep in my belly. I feel a new kind of warmth flood through me, as the little life within me reminds me of its presence. I had almost completely forgotten it, locked in pleasure with my lover and shutting out the rest of the world. I suddenly wish I could share this with Gaara. It breaks my heart that I have to deceive him… that I cannot share my excitement with him. Then I get a crazy idea… a truly crazy idea.
If this backfires… it could be deadly.
I war with myself for a long time before giving in to the temptation. I creep into his mind while he sleeps. I can see his dreams. He is dreaming about arguing with Tsunade over the marriage contract. He’s trying to concentrate, but he keeps seeing me in the corner of the room and becoming distracted with the need to throw me down and make me scream in pleasure.
I creep away from his dreams and try to find an unoccupied space in his mind. I think of it like an unused compartment, an area where I could hide something without him discovering it on his own. Kakashi has been educating me on the use of mental seals. I am nowhere near as knowledgeable as I should be… but I’m pretty sure I can build something small and fortify it over time as I learn more. I can only pray that if this doesn’t work… I’ll be able to convince him it was a dream.
I dip into the deepest corner of the area and leave a tiny record of this moment behind me. I leave the tiny sensation I could feel stirring within me, my happiness and joy, and the warmth that spread through my blood. I add the faintest hint of my desire to share it with him. Then I build a wall around it, effectively creating the compartment I needed. I work to place a small seal on the outside of the compartment, forming the necessary hand signs and touching his temple only briefly – preventing him from accessing this memory without me. Perhaps before I die… I can tell someone about the seal. If he wants to… maybe someday he could have someone remove it and he could know all that I feel about our baby. It’s definitely a risk, but I want it too badly to hold back.
I pull slowly and carefully out of his mind, breathing a sigh of relief when I’m finished. He stirs at the movement, and looks up with groggy sated eyes into my smiling face. He buries his face in my shoulder, wishing he could shut out the world and just stay here with me. He groans his complaint that he can’t do just that.
“I love you, handsome,” I whisper as I kiss the kanji scar on his forehead.
He nuzzles deeper and mumbles into my neck, “I’m not going.”
I can’t help but laugh, a true full laugh. “Then how are you ever going to meet your new wife?” I ask with a sarcastic tone. “She’s going to be pretty upset with you if she goes all that way to be introduced by those stuffed-shirt politicians and you don’t even bother to show up.”
He glares up at me now, truly frustrated. “We should have eloped.”
I laugh again, fighting to get out a brief, “I’m a good runner.”
With that he sits up, suddenly, surprising me. He kisses me hard and quick on the mouth and strolls from the bed. He shouts over his shoulder, “You know what… I like the contract. You’re mine.”
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Several hours later I stand in the Hokage’s office, waiting for Gaara and his entourage from Suna to arrive. This entire meeting is a farce but only a few of us present will know that. In this meeting, Gaara is going to be formally introduced to me as the proposed shinobi for his consideration. Both councils are aware that he has met me before, but believe it to only be in the context of aiding in my rescue. They believe that Konoha discovered my abduction from Suna, informed Gaara of my former presence, and requested his aid in retrieving me. Therefore, they actually believe this meeting is critical in finalizing the agreement. The thought makes me want to giggle. I, however, have worked very hard in making my face into the one I used to wear while on the run: cool, composed, seductive, and cocky. That’s what they have heard about me… and it’s what they will expect.
Gaara wants to pretend that he is hesitant about accepting me as a candidate. He worries that appearing too eager will tip his hand, and encourage his own council to use his eagerness against him to add more ridiculous terms to the contract in the final hour. He also knows what they have come to expect of him and plans to play his part true-to-form. I have to admit… I am excited about our little game.
After a few minutes, Tsunade files in with the elders from the leaf village. Most of them have not yet met me either. They know of my abilities – but not the extent of them. They also believe that Tsunade pulled off a major miracle in securing me as a leaf village shinobi, and essentially stealing me out from under the Kazekage’s nose in the first place. They didn’t want initially to agree that I would be the proposed shinobi, but over time Tsunade worked tirelessly to convince them that Gaara would accept nothing less than the Leaf’s most talented and beautiful female shinobi. She emphasized that he was only truly going along with this on a whim, and could pull out completely if the candidate displeased him.
“Honorable council,” she begins, gesturing towards me, “This is Utako Mizuki.”
I bow to them first as she introduces them one by one, and they each bow in turn. Many of them are excited about the upcoming introduction. A few are still hesitant to give up what they consider their most valuable asset. I realize with surprise that they would have never agreed without the terms to pull me back whenever needed. They are all wary. I realize they have very poor expectations of Gaara himself and it makes me angry. I work diligently to keep the anger from my face as I smile back – with my cocky smile plastered on.
“Dear,” an older woman with truly sweet thoughts approaches me. She is concerned mostly that Gaara will be an unkind husband, or a cruel lover, “Are you sure you’re alright with this? I want to make sure you understand that we would not require this of you to keep your status as a shinobi.”
“Yes, I understand,” I try to soothe her while remaining aloof. “The Kazekage is a powerful man. If he is pleasing enough, he could provide for me well, and I would be in a unique position of power. I like the idea. I enjoyed Suna in the brief time I was there.”
She nods, still unsure for me. Just then, a knock sounds loudly on Tsunade’s door. She sits behind her desk now, facing the door and leaning on her elbows with her hands clasped in front of her face. The elders stand to one side of her desk in a long line up, and I stand in the middle of the room. I have chosen to wear something formal but still slightly provocative. I have on a long black gown. It has a halter-style top with a deeply plunging neckline and nearly see-through bell sleeves attached precariously to the sides. The skirt is floor length with a slit straight up the center, which ends high between my thighs. The skirt itself hugs my hips, but is tailored to flare out with an expanse of thin ruffles; showing off my long expanse of legs.
“Enter.” Tsunade says in a loud and authoritative tone.
The door opens and Gaara comes in first, wearing his blue and white Kazekage robes and hat. His face is uncovered, but his expression is the blank mask I remember from so long ago. With that expression, he perpetually looks caught between aggravation and boredom. Temari, Kankuro, and the council file in behind him; along with his old sensei Baki – who also happens to be a council member. They all file into the room and take positions on the opposite side of Tsunade’s desk from the Leaf council. Gaara comes and stands before me but turns to look at Tsunade after only a brief glance.
That brief glance makes his insides roil with lust, but his face never cracks. What are you wearing!? He almost sounds scolding.
Exactly what I would have worn if this really was our first meeting, I retort.
I would have avoided you like the plague… he mentally mumbles.
Why? I say in shock. You don’t like my dress?
Your dress is enough to drive a man mad, he explains while his insides clench with desire. I would have been terrified of losing my composure in front of these idiots and embarrassing myself.
The thought makes me smile and I go ahead and smile seductively at his back.
“Hokage,” he says as a simple greeting, nodding respectfully in her direction.
“Ah, Kazekage,” she smiles at him with an expression of mild curiosity. “I hope your trip from Suna was uneventful? Kankuro relayed your apologies last night for retiring early.” She enjoys calling him on the carpet too much and I narrow my eyes at her. It could easily be misinterpreted that I am narrowing them at him.
“Yes,” he replies in a cold voice. “I did not see the need to prolong my trip any further.”
I can feel disapproval roll off of some of the leaf village elders and I almost feel bad. Remembering the night we spent together, however, cures me of that feeling quickly.
“You have decided on a candidate?” he asks in a bored tone.
“Yes, we have.”
She stands and gestures to me and Gaara turns around slowly as if forcing himself to take an interest. His gaze is cold and unmoved. He narrows his eyes as if inspecting me under a microscope.
“This is Utako Mizuke,” Tsunade continues. “She is a recent shinobi of the leaf village as you are aware. I believe you met her during her rescue from Orochimaru’s fortress, although she probably won’t remember you.”
I lift my chin somewhat defiantly. “I do not remember the event clearly,” I concede, “but I have seen the Kazekage before. I have seen you address your people in Suna just after my arrival.”
His cold stare doesn’t flinch. I stare back at him, appearing just as unmoved. Meanwhile, both of us are finding this little charade humorous and arousing. Inside I am desperately trying not to giggle.
“You were captured from our village,” he challenges, “You already required our aid once. I would have a wife who can defend herself.” I truly glare at him now.
“Those were unusual circumstances,” I explain with a deadly tone. “I assure you, there are very few people on this Earth who could lay a hand on me without my permission.”
The room grows eerily silent, as the false tension in the room grows while we stare each other down.
Be careful… he whispers to my mind.
A second later he launches his sand at me as if to snatch me and crush me. I cut off his control of the sand once it gets within two feet of my body, forcing it to fall lifeless to the ground. He launches at me two, three, four more times. The council members on both sides are nearly beside themselves, until they realize I both have not moved and am completely unharmed. They stare at me with their mouths hanging open.
Gaara stops his assault, drawing his sand back into the gourd on his back. He lets his eyes shift slightly, growing in approval.
“See?” I challenge him, positioning my hand on my hip and cocking it out in a blatantly sexual gesture. “I’m not some defenseless woman, Kazekage. You would be wise to remember that in the future.”
“Lord, Kazekage,” one of his council members starts – hoping to diffuse the situation. “If you would…”
Gaara holds up his hand, demanding silence. “I am marrying a woman, not a contract,” he spits.
He slowly circles me, raking over every inch of my body with his eyes. He lets his gaze linger on my breasts and then the split in my skirt, and his eyes look only slightly interested in what hides there. The real lust I feel flowing through him is harder to ignore. A few of the women in the room nearly blush at his unabashed evaluation of me. Temari resists the urge to roll her eyes from the back of the room.
“If I accept this…I will not tolerate any other man touching you,” he says with ice in his voice. “I know of your… history.” He spits the last word in mock disgust, but his thoughts are an apology.
I let a sexy laugh trickle from my throat at his challenge. “Jealous, Lord Kazekage?” I challenge him again, leaning back against a high-backed chair in the room, and thrusting my breasts high. I have made sure that this top strategically prevents even a glimpse of the kanji scar now on above my breast. “You should also know then, that I will not tolerate being left… unsatisfied.” Nearly everyone in the room freezes at the obvious mocking tone in my statement. “I truly hope you’re up to the challenge.”
Temari and Kankuro are both holding their breath in a desperate attempt not to laugh. Suddenly, Gaara moves in and snatches the back of my head in a dominant grip, holding me inches from his face. His eyes are angry and narrowed, but inside he is desperate to kiss me. He remembers my cries of passion from the night before and fights the urge to smirk in self-satisfaction.
Be careful… I whisper, echoing his earlier thought.
Elders and council members from both sides begin to step in. Baki raises an arm, holding those from Suna at bay. I hold up a hand to those from the Leaf, signaling them not to interfere.
“I simply thought you should understand before you agree to this, that any other lover you take will be dead within one day.” His voice is rough and grating, an odd combination of anger and lust. “With me… you have nothing to fear.”
With the hand behind my head he pulls me into an earth-shattering kiss – violent with lust, and enough to drive me mad in any circumstance. His other hand grips my hip and pulls me roughly and firmly against his body, and I let my hands slide up to brace against his chest – as if to push him away. I pretend to fight him for only about 2 seconds, and then give in melding into him.
He grips my hair firmly again, and pulls me back to look into my eyes. I know mine are half-lidded with lust, and I add as much self-assurance to my face as I can manage. One corner of his mouth kicks up in a satisfied smirk. It’s a look I see constantly from him, but the audience in the room is shocked at seeing such an expression on his face. They have never seen him openly display this kind of desire and skill under any circumstances.
“Well, well,” I say in a husky voice, “This may be more fun than I thought, handsome.”
He lets go of my hair and steps back from me, his expression going instantly blank again.
“Do I please you, Kazekage?” I ask, in my most confident tone, propping my hand on my hip once again.
He turns to Tsunade and nods a single movement of his approval. Then he turns back to snatch me in his glare once again. “When you are my wife,” he states coldly, “You will call me Gaara.”
He turns around and begins to stroll from the room.
“Kazekage,” Tsunade shouts from behind us both and he pauses to hear her without turning back. “You will be present at the concert tonight? You will show the people your agreement?”
“Yes,” he states simply and leaves with his entourage in tow.
As soon as the guests from Suna are gone, Tsunade shuts the door and turns back to the leaf village elders. They all visibly droop from relief; all except for the kind woman who was concerned for me before.
“You do understand?” she asks again, “You don’t have to tie yourself to him unless you wish to.”
I am sad to realize she would have expected him to harm me even without our little show. She remembers when he brought destruction to this place himself.
“I wasn’t lying,” I say raising an eyebrow at her, smiling in satisfaction. “I believe marrying that man will be very enjoyable.”
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