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Love Me When I'm Gone	By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story.

Chapter List
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40. Practice
Sweat pours down my body beneath the Konoha sun, and part of my brain wonders how much worse it will be when I’m finally back in Suna. My body is simply showing my mental and physical strain. I’ve been working with Kakashi for two weeks now… and I have made amazing progress. Using his natural method as a model, I have diligently worked to section off parts of my mind from others. More importantly… I have worked to detect this separation in the minds of those around me and use it to my advantage when possible.
Kakashi’s hands rest in my own as he faces me, cross-legged on the hot roof of my apartment building. The touch is not necessary but reduces the strain of my effort. I am finessing my technique now, instead of focusing on its strength. My power has continued to grow as the days pass, seeming to make my reach nearly limitless. I can now reach nearly to Suna itself – and I have been trying – when I am only scanning. I can affect every mind in the street when walking around Konoha, and every mind when I perform at night.
This is beginning to become a necessity instead of practice. My body has begun changing at a more rapid rate. Although no one would probably ask me outright if I was pregnant, they would begin to suspect. I have a small baby bump protruding from my middle, and I could blame it on my “inactivity” lately and just say I’m getting heavier. However, I have learned that it is much easier to trick a mind that is void of suspicion. A mind that already suspects or detects an abnormality tends to fight my illusion stronger, which just makes me expend more effort.
Therefore I now alter my appearance any time I am in public, keeping the image of myself and my shape as it had been when I found out that I was still pregnant. Compartmentalizing my thoughts helps with this immensely. I am able to separate the effort flowing into the illusion from my other ability to scan and learn independent thoughts. I am also able to divide my emotions in a similar fashion. That’s what Kakashi and I are working on today. Gaara is returning soon, and this will be critical for my ultimate illusion.
“I can still trace your fear,” Kakashi states with a weary voice.
“Well, damnit! You try dividing your brain in this many pieces!!” I screech in frustration and immediately feel bad as my anger lashes at his mind. He flinches from the assault. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You’re going to have to work on that temper of yours too. Gaara is going to notice how much more irritable you are becoming.” Kakashi is frustrated with how often my mood swings are interfering with our training.
“That’s ironic you know,” I scoff at him. “We’re doing this training because of my mood swings. Besides… I should be better when Gaara gets here.”
The thought of Gaara returning has my insides turning into knots. He has been gone for over two weeks and my body has decided to revolt against me for his absence. I am constantly driven to distraction by my physical need for him. I can’t afford to be distracted. I spoke with Tsunade about it – much to my own embarrassment – and she explained that many women have difficulty controlling their sexual desire at this point in a pregnancy. She also said it’s likely to get worse before it gets better, which I don’t even want to contemplate.
“Focus, Mizuke.” Kakashi scolds gently. He is still connected to me and while he can’t share my thoughts directly because of my careful dissection… the flavor of them is leaking.
“I’m sorry,” I say for what must be the hundredth time today.
“It’s okay,” he pulls his hands back, signaling me to go ahead and cut the connection. I let out a deep sigh of relief and rub my neck. “I don’t think we’re going to make much more progress today,” he continues. “You’re already far exceeding my expectations. And… I’m not sure I can handle any more of your frustration at the moment.”
My cheeks burn hot with embarrassment, but it only leads me to wonder again how close Gaara is. I straighten my spine, keeping myself seated in the cross-legged position. I close my eyes and reach out, desperate for some trace of him. I gasp.
“He’s close Kakashi!” I have found him on the road directly in between the two villages. He is moving faster than I expected. “He’s half way here!”
I clap my hands in excitement and he rolls his eye at my girlish display.
Tsunade made me an official leaf village shinobi within a few days of Gaara’s departure, and I now wear the leaf headband around my neck. Temari uses that style with hers and I think it is very stylish of her… much better than sweating beneath it on your forehead. I can’t wait to see her and Kankuro. I miss them all terribly. I track down her thoughts and she is excited to be returning also – partially to see me, but also largely to see Shikamaru. I have been out on a couple brief missions, usually accompanied by Naruto. He still feels responsible for taking care of me when Gaara is away. Mostly, however, the Hokage has called on me to “sit in” during difficult negotiations. This largely bores me but at least I can feel somewhat useful. Other than that… it’s endless training with Kakashi.
From what Tsunade has told me, the negotiations for the wedding have been tumultuous but successful. The Suna council tried to slip in requirements for me to have children and Gaara raged at them until they backed off. She did manage to get the stipulation about the potential children’s citizenship in place without a fight, however, which is a major relief to me. She also managed to put in a requirement about my time spent in Konoha.
The contract states that as a leaf shinobi, I will be required to return to Konoha for one month of each year, for refresher training and maintaining my relationship with the people. They may also call upon me in a time of need, without warning, and I am to assist wherever needed. Gaara tried to fight these stipulations, but eventually lost. I am also thankful for this, because this will give me an excuse to return to Konoha when the baby is to be born. I want my baby to be safely within its walls as quickly as possible after I am gone.
There were lots of other details and arrangements being made. I didn’t pay much attention to all the negotiations. They didn’t much hold my interest. I wouldn’t be alive long enough to worry about most of them. The exceptions were the arrangements for the wedding itself. The wedding will be in Suna and will be accompanied by a week-long festival. However, in an effort to allow the citizens of Konoha to participate, there will be a celebration here as well – a concert, as soon as Gaara arrives.
So far the contract does not include me by name, but the parties involved understand the intention. When Gaara arrives, Tsunade will formally announce the arrangement and its supposed purpose to the people – furthering peace in the future of both villages. She will declare that there will be a concert to present the shinobi woman to the Kazekage, where he will formally accept or deny the proposed candidate – me. Then I will return with him to Suna to complete the marriage ceremony. Several delegates from Konoha will travel with us to represent the village at the proceedings.
I feel like rolling my eyes at the drama surrounding the event. The concert, however, was Kakashi’s idea. The people of the village know me foremost as their entertainer, so this type of display would make sense to them and give them something to celebrate. It also is an excellent opportunity to test the limits of my illusion ability. I will be changing outfits 4 different times while performing on stage, without ever actually adding removing a single item of clothing. To the audience, it should look like a magic trick. It is much more elaborate than the subtle changes I make to my appearance every day, and I will have to successfully convince nearly all of Konoha of my illusion at once. If I can pull this off… there are no limits to keeping my secret. Obviously, I am terribly nervous.
“Who all is traveling with him?” Kakashi asks. I pick up his mind and carry him along with me out to Gaara’s location on the road.
Gaara is traveling with a dozen people: Temari, Kankuro, three additional shinobi, and a half a dozen council members. He is frustrated because he is forced to go slower because of them. I look through Kankuro’s eyes so I can see him clearly. He is wearing the ridiculous Kazekage robes and hat. His face is covered, but I can see his bright jade eyes piercing the desert road before him. I yearn to touch his handsome face. Kakashi chuckles at my involuntary reaction to seeing Gaara again.
Who would have guessed… he muses, that the once terrifying Gaara of the Desert would be such a young heartthrob later in life. Those fan girls of his are going to cry their hearts out when he brings you home.
Hey I want to try something… I interrupt him, not wanting to think about those particular women. Stay quiet okay? I’m gonna see if I can talk to him and keep him from knowing you’re here too…
Interesting test, he agrees. The more ways I can learn to divide my attention and abilities, the better.
I pull myself close into Gaara’s mind only, not wanting to draw more attention to my abilities with the rest of the group. Hello handsome… I whisper into his mind.
Gaara freezes, a strange mix of fear and desire slamming into him. Where are you?! he demands angrily. He is afraid I am outside of Konoha, that I must be within a few miles of him.
Don’t freeze up! You’ll give me away.
Slowly he starts moving again, and Kankuro and Temari eye him warily, but he ignores their curious inspection.
Where are you? he repeats.
Stop worrying! I scold him. I’m still in Konoha like I promised – sitting on top of my apartment building. But I wanted to see you… I give him the emotional equivalent of a pout.
The corner of his mouth kicks up in a smirk beneath his mask, but his mind resonates with surprise. You’re… still in Konoha? But I’m still over a day’s travel away from there! How…
My strength has been growing steadily since before I even met you. I try to explain. Tsunade believes the seals placed on my mind by Sasori are weakening now that he is dead, but she’s not sure.
The thought of my power growing – and therefore my ability to defend myself – has him truly smiling now. I feel pride rush through him, along with desire. I swear… when I get back there I am going to tie you up and…
HI!! Kakashi suddenly shouts, trying desperately to cut off Gaara’s train of thought. Gaara freezes again, but quickly forces his feet to keep moving. I had almost forgotten him, so I didn’t block the thought the way I should have.
Damnit Kakashi! You’re going to give him a heart attack! I scold. Sorry handsome… I should have warned you that Kakashi was listening.
Gaara is aggravated at the intrusion, but his curiosity wins out. Why?
We were training when I decided to look for you, I explain. I suddenly stop, because I’m at a loss to explain why I’m training. My turmoil is locked away, silent to them both, but Kakashi quickly understands when I fall silent.
Yes, he continues for me. With her power growing, Tsunade wanted to experiment with its uses as an actual shinobi. We’re currently testing long range communication… which seems to work well. We’ve also experimented with camouflage and pain techniques for battle situations. We’ve been attempting to find her new limits… but have been less successful in that area.
Gaara is shocked, but once again proud of my advancement.
Very well, he grumbles at Kakashi. But don’t push her! She needs to rest for the events this week. And next time… announce your presence sooner. By the end his tone is as deadly threatening as I remember his voice being.
Of course, Kazekage. Kakashi agrees. Mizuke, I’ll give you two a moment.
With that, I let go of my hold on his mind, and he disappears from our conversation.
I’m sorry baby, I say with genuine apology. I shouldn’t have tried that without warning you.
It’s alright, he tries to settle himself, focusing only on me. Are we… alone now?
Yes.
I love you. He lets loose on the desire he’s been holding back in his mind. I want to be with you. These stupid people are delaying me.
I mentally chuckle at his frustration, and let loose on my own desire, carefully holding back my other emotions and worry. You’d better come straight home, I threaten with my tone. I won’t be held responsible for what I’ll do if you make me come see you at the Hokage’s tower without seeing me first.
Yes, he agrees with greed in his thoughts, I think that would be best. I’ll send Kankuro to deliver my greeting for me. He can deal with their political posturing. I’m losing my patience with them anyway. He remembers kissing me and stroking my breasts. He muses about how to make love to me when he gets back to Konoha.
You’re a tease, I accuse as desire courses though me with enough strength to leave me breathless.
So are you.   His tone shifts, and he thinks about holding me and watching me sleep. I love you, Mizuke. I will come to you as soon as I can.
I love you too, Gaara, I whisper back and then pull back to my own body and surroundings.
When I open my eyes, Kakashi is frowning at me. He lifts a hand and brushes gently beneath my nose. Then I realize that I taste blood… my nose must have started bleeding at some point from the strain.
“You need to remember that you’re still human,” he warns, but he also smiles. “We’ll be careful how far out you go… and how much you do while you’re out there. Gaara’s right to be concerned.”
“Yeah.” I stand up and brush off the long skirt I’m wearing before turning to head inside. “I’d better get as much sleep as I can now. I don’t think I’ll be getting much soon.”   I wink devilishly at him, and he closes his eyes and sighs.
We’ll know soon enough… he thinks as I walk swiftly away.
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Love Me When I'm Gone

40. Practice