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Another Perfect Wonder	By : jaded_priceless Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 10014 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
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Chapter List
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Chapter 40
Kakashi sat in the chair and looked around the room noticing for the first time the differences in shades between the wood. He’d wondered why Iruka had tar but as he counted the number of dark spots he realized Iruka had sealed the cabin. He sniffed a few times then inhaled deeply before sneezing. He’d grown accustomed to the scent without realizing it. The furniture was old but he could see the shine and detect the subtle hints of lemon in the room.
He’d gotten angry at Iruka for not coming sooner but the chuunin had taken the time to prepare a safe place to bring him to. He’d almost died a few times and had almost killed several others in turn by executing the standard grab and go rescue mission. Konoha had lost several good ninja who bravely sacrificed themselves to allow others to get their injured teammates to safety because they had not thought beyond getting them and the information they carried out of the hands of the enemy.
He would certainly be dead if the standard Anbu extraction team had come for him. They were too far from home to run back. His lungs would have exploded if they attempted to teleport. The scent covering and chakra suppression would have led that purple eyed bitch straight to them. Iruka had made them stick out like a sore thumb and drew the enemy to them in a way it became familiar and non-threatening.
The scent of tar and lemon were out of place in the forest but common in residential areas. It clung to them like a beacon and they’d often heard the ninja searching for him saying it did’t matter if they left them alone for a little while since they were so easy to find. He knew from experience it was harder to find someone out in the open. His most humbling experience as a tracker was an assignment to find Naruto.
The loud bright orange clad five year old had covered himself in bacon grease so no one could grab him while he ran amok in the market. He ignored his ninken and Tsume when they said follow the intoxication aroma of fried pork. Seven hours later he still had not found Naruto but he’d reached the point he could no longer ignore his hunger. He found Naruto asleep in the alley behind Ichiraku smelling suspiciously like a good breakfast.
He was still berating himself when Iruka returned. The chuunin was wearing only a towel around his waist and Kakashi stared until he walked over the drawer and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms.
“What?” Iruka asked as he slid the pants on under the towel. “Why are you looking at me that way?”
“I just noticed the cabin. I’ve been here all this time but never noticed it. You weren’t just lollygagging and making friends; you were making a safe place for me,” Kakashi replied quietly. He didn’t wait for a response before pushing himself out of the chair and hobbling to the bathroom.
Iruka was already in bed by the time Kakashi found the courage to leave the bathroom. His ankle felt better after soaking it so he was able to walk with less effort. He tried to get the ointment out of the medical pack without waking Iruka and thought he was successful until he heard a sleepy voice.
“Give it here.”
Kakashi looked over his shoulder and handed the pack to Iruka. He heard the slide of a zipper and rustle of fabric before the quiet opening of the jar. He waited for the cold shock of medicine to ripple across his skin so the warm hand on his lower back and hot puffs of air against his ear surprised him, “Turn around and sit down, please.”
Iruka’s formality let reminded him that his earlier accusation and the actions of the next night still hung between him. The mood had lightened somewhat but he and Iruka were still on eggshells. Kakashi had been trying his best to alleviate the tension and let Iruka know that he had done the best he could in that situation to rescue him but he hadn’t found a way to let the chuunin know that he didn’t mean those words and he truly was grateful to him.
Kakashi had also tried to explain that he hadn’t tried to take advantage of Iruka while he was sleeping. He honestly thought Iruka was awake and had felt the chakra signatures above the cabin. They had touched several times to further their act as runaway civilian lovers so he didn’t question it when Iruka rolled on top of him.
Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to admit by the time he realized the difference he was so caught up in his own feelings it took all of his willpower not to penetrate him. Or that the lack of penetration was more an act of selfishness than an admission of wrongdoing. He wanted him, he wanted Iruka bad, but there were few things worth a ripped foreskin he would have surely gotten from taking him unlubricated.
Kakashi’s guilt was compounded by the fact Iruka had been pouring extra effort into taking care of him but he remained detached and reserved. Tsunade herself could not have shown a more professional demeanor. Yes, the Slug Sannin or any number of medics could have fixed his broken bones, removed his pain, and he’d be out on another mission, but this half trained chuunin was slowly healing parts of him he’d long ago forgotten were broken.
He couldn’t remember anyone, not even his own parents and certainly no one living, ever putting so much time and effort into his well being but he’d betrayed Iruka’s efforts by intentionally and unintentionally hurting him. Yes, he spoke in anger and humiliation, but the words, like all of his weapons, were meticulously sharpened, hurled with precision, and deliberately chosen for their ability to do cause maximum damage with minimal effort.
Unlike Iruka he’d been wide awake, he should have known anger was the only emotion Iruka would ever feel that strongly toward him. Kakashi sat on the bed and watched Iruka kneel before him, gently lift his right foot and slowly began massaging the ointment into the rope burns on his feet, calves and ankles.
“Rui,” Kakashi began reaching for his companion then stopped himself. The word, that name, was incorrect.
“Ru,” this was a close as he could get to the real man under these circumstances. He slid his palm across his cheek, lifting his head, pushing back the curtain of hair the other was hiding behind. He caressed his scar with his thumb and stared in those dark eyes that showed exactly how deeply he’d hurt him.
“I’m an ass. I would like to say I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it, but we both know that would be a lie. I wanted to hurt you, but not like that. What I said, but not when… I…you…shit...” Kakashi stopped himself. He’d never been good at apologizing. This like all of the other times he’d truly felt remorse, when he’d hung his head and handed over a cracked mask, bloody dog tags or a broken body, his words weren’t helping. He felt confusion as both eyes, not just Obito’s, prickled with wetness causing his mind to hastily search for a reason. He’d had not killed a teammate with his ineptitude, he wasn’t having a psychotic break and he felt no pain, physically. This wasn’t a reason to cry.
His voice cracked uncharacteristically as he whimpered, “Forgive me”
For one of the few times in his life Iruka did not answer with there is nothing to forgive. Those were words for children who accidentally transgressed, not for adults whose sin was all too real; especially for ones whose eyes shone with unshed tears.
“You hurt me,” Iruka admitted matter-of-factly. “I would have come for you sooner if I could have done so. I am not strong, smart, or powerful. My talents lie in other areas. Even if I had known I can’t promise I would have been any faster or if I did that the outcome wouldn’t have been terrible.”
Kakashi wasn’t expecting Iruka to lean forward and whisper in his ear or to see such a sheepish expression beneath his characteristic blush, “As for the other, if I had to wake up from a dream like that, having done those things, and offered more. I’m glad it was with you.”
“Me?” Kakashi questioned; his eyes widening and cheeks suddenly growing warm.
Iruka looked away his face reddening further as he slowly nodded.
“So when you said I was sexy? And what you said in the shower? But you were angry?” Kakashi pushed causing Iruka to lower his head.
“I was angry because I was still mad at you. It wasn’t like I didn’t want it or that I haven’t blurred dreams and reality before. I was angry at myself because I allowed myself that small delusion and I used you. I was still upset by what you said so it was easier to let you think it was your entire fault. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I should have told you upfront that I prefer men and that I’m attracted to you.” Iruka continued, not bothering to state he was also mad at himself because Kakashi was starting to make him feel things he hadn’t felt since Shisui’s death and that he normally woke up as soon as he realized Shisui wasn’t the person he lying next to him.
“So you?” Kakashi paused pointing his fingers back and forth between him and Iruka trying to wrap his head around the idea the chuunin wasn’t as morally upright as he thought. “This was a set up?”
“No,” Iruka barked before reverting to scout signals “:I didn’t say we were lovers for that reason. I needed a valid excuse for traveling this time of year and that one allowed me to remain evasive. I thought I’d give you the injections you missed when you left the village and keep moving. I had no idea you’d been captured or were in such bad shape. When I found out it was easier to go with it since it could explain your injuries and sudden appearance.:”
“:When I suggested we pretend to be intimate I never imagined it would go that far. I’m not complaining that it did, but it was never my intention to mislead or molest you. I should have said something sooner, but I was afraid to at first. By the time I got my courage up to admit it these silly ninjas were already using us a source of entertainment:”
“I’m sorry” Iruka vocalized, “I never meant to mistreat you.”
Kakashi took a moment to digest Iruka’s explanation. Another jounin would have rushed in, grabbed him and they may have never gotten back out. Even if they were able to escape they would have gone straight back to Konoha. The mission would have remained incomplete until someone else was sent to finish it. Only this time it would have been several times more difficult; the enemy would have been alert and waiting for the infiltration.
Iruka had never left. Instead they hid in plain sight pretending to be lovers. They’d witnessed troop movements, learned there were ninja gathering in other border villages, received an enemy medical kit and Iruka had been taught the Kumogakure summoning and sealing jutsu. The purpose was the same as the one used in Konoha but the seals and chakra application was different so it could provide valuable insight to the rest of their techniques.
“Maa, if I had to be stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere I’m glad it’s with someone as smart and sexy as you,” Kakashi shrugged. “:You didn’t mistreat or molest me. You had your chance when we were in the shower but you didn’t take it.:”
“: As for the rest, I’m going to ask Tsunade if I can have you during every school break. I am very much enjoying the benefits of having you as a partner. You cook, you’re entertaining, you gather information better than Ibiki but you’re so much cuter and when we’re in bed together I can actually sleep. At least I can when I’m not thinking about screwing the brains out of you:”
“Oh,” Iruka gasped at Kakashi’s last admission. “So you?”
“Yeah, quite a bit actually,” Kakashi smiled as Iruka’s face mirrored his own sense of relief.
Iruka blushed and nodded then began applying the salve to his other ankle.

Once they both lay down there was a different type of awkwardness between them. It was one thing to sleep next to a mission partner while pretending to be lovers. It was different sleeping next to someone you were attracted to after acknowledging that feelings were started to develop. They shifted nervously, bumping into each other on the bed that really was too small for two grown men lay in without touching before Kakashi finally got fed up.
“Fuck it,” he growled turning to face Iruka so their legs were intertwined in a more comfortable position.
He was beginning to think he may have done the wrong thing but then Iruka pulled him closer and offered an arm for him to use as a pillow. They lay there stiffly pretending to be sleeping until Iruka felt Kakashi’s fingers moving against his stomach, “:What happened the other night, you said it wasn’t the first time?:”
Iruka shook his head. There was enough light from the fire he knew Kakashi could see him. The movement on his belly was further confirmation “:How often does it happen and how do you usually handle it?:”
“:I dream about Shisui often. I only act them out when I’m very stressed or tired. Normally it’s not a big deal since I make it a point to sleep alone, but there are times when that’s not possible. It usually doesn’t go as far as it did the other night. Most people are okay once I explain it,:” Iruka responded writing his words against Kakashi’s skin.
“:Most people?:” Kakashi was laying in the shadows so Iruka couldn’t see expression, but he could by the man’s movement he was shocked.
Iruka groaned out loud “:Tsume, Iwashi, Yuugao, Izumo, Raido, Ibiki, Gai. Sometimes during missions you have to sleep in close quarters.:”
Kakashi pressed his head against Iruka’s shoulder to muffle his laughter. “:So who wasn’t okay with it?:”
Iruka hoped against all hopes, but he knew that question was coming. “:Hiashi. Baki:”
Kakashi pressed a hand to his mouth to keep his guffaws from spilling over. Hiashi. It was all too easy to see the uptight Hyuuga’s reaction to being molested by his students sleeping teacher but the idea Iruka had come onto the Kazekage’s uncle. “:Baki?:”
Iruka huffed, “:I mostly run solo mission this time of year. I’d just finished a delivery to River Country and was on my way back when Tsunade sent a messenger hawk telling me to pick up a scroll in Suna. Since I was headed this way Gaara asked her permission to use me as part of an escort detail for a group of merchants on their way to Fire Country.:”
“:Once we reached their destination the two chuunin with us went back to Suna, but Gaara ordered Baki to ensure I made it safely back to Konoha. We’d been traveling non-stop since we dropped off the civilians so we stopped to spend the night at Tanzaku Gai even though we were close to the village.:”
“:You stopped at Tanzaku Gai this time of year?:” Kakashi signed with shaking fingers. Everyone knew it was better to sleep in the woods than room at Tanzaku Gai in the weeks before and after the Solar and Lunar New Year due to the month long marriage festival.
“:Yes. It was stupid, but I was tired.:” Iruka explained not caring if he scratched Kakashi. “:All the hotel rooms had been converted to honeymoon suites. The only vacancy was at the Tanzaku Royale and came with a private hot spring and complimentary bottle of sake. I woke up but not before I had climbed on top of Baki and gotten him to a point where he had no intention of stopping:”
Kakashi’s mirthful trembling stopped, “:Did he…:”
“No,” Iruka responded vocally before reverting to sign language, “:Shisui and I switched. I was topping in that particular dream:”
There was nothing Kakashi could do to stop himself from giggling. He had nothing against ukes, but he never would have imagined that Baki, one of the most feared jounin in Suna, the Fourth Kakekage’s brother, the Fifth Kakekage’s stern jounin sensei, and unconfirmed head of Anbu, enjoyed bottoming.
“:It’s not funny.:” Iruka signed after swatting Kakashi’s shoulder to get his attention “:Do you know hard it was to get rid of him without causing undue heartache or an international incident? I explained about Shisui and apologized, but that only made things worse.:”
“:His lover had been Gaara’s maternal uncle and former caretaker. He completely understood how it felt to have the one you love taken from you by an unstable family member. They even died around the same time.
“:He hoped we could help each other move on. He was willing to be patient since no one had given it to him so good since he lost Yashamaru. He even mentioned how difficult it was to find someone willing to accept a jinchuuriki. With me he didn’t have that worry.:”
Kakashi rolled over and buried his face in the pillow to muffle the sounds of his laughter. The whole bed shook as he kicked his feet and punched the mattress in what Gai would call “A springtime eruption as the full body expresses the youthfulness of manly joy.”
“:I hope you choke on that pillow. They were still working out the details of the treaty since Gaara was the newly appointed Kazekage so he spent a lot of time in Konoha. Every time I looked up he was there making googly eyes at me. Have you ever been trapped inside a puppet while a homicidal teenager tried to set you up with his love sick uncle? If it weren’t for Temari having experience with unwanted crushes I might still be there:”
“Ow, Ow, Ow,” Kakashi wheezed rolling over grabbing his sides. He might not have choked on the pillow, but laughing that hard was hell on his broken ribs. “Make it stop. Merciful gods make it stop.”
“That’s what you get for laughing at the misfortune of others,” Iruka declared checking for overhead chakra signatures before taking pity on Kakashi and splaying his hands over Kakashi’s sides to soothe them with healing chakra.
When Kakashi had settled down, Iruka pulled him close enough so that Kakashi’s face rested on top of his and he begin to whisper, “It isn’t funny. Baki had been hurt by his lover’s death. It hurt more that even after that there was nothing he could do for his nephew. The few people he did try to date couldn’t understand that in spite of what Gaara did he was still his nephew and he loved him.”
“I understood him Kakashi. I still understand. When Shisui was murdered I thought the world had ended. When I learned about what happened to the Uchiha clan I reached out to Sasuke. He wouldn’t let me in. He tolerated my presence better than he did most other people but he wouldn’t let me get close to him even though he and Itachi would sometimes tag along with Shisui to my apartment.”
“I’ve gone on a few dates since Shisui’s death but they never amounted to anything because they couldn’t accept the fact I actually treated Naruto the same as I treated my other students. Baki is a good man. Under different circumstances I think I could have fallen for him, but I didn’t want to lead him on. Naruto had just left the village and Baki had just lost his brother, it was just terrible timing.”
“I also felt guilty that I’d used him. I could have gotten us both off without going in, but I selfishly screwed him because I was in so much pain. Sasuke was my last tie to Shisui and the way things might have been. I had just lost that as well.
“A part of me still doesn’t want to believe that Itachi could have killed Shisui; his father and the majority of his clan yes, but not him. When Itachi attacked you and Sasuke I was forced to face my delusions. Sasuke’s defection was like losing Shisui all over again since my last tie to him was broken.”
“That wound was still too raw to attempt a relationship. Even if we did become serious I’d always question whether or not I was using sex to escape my problems and wonder if we’d always see each other as a substitute for our lost loves. We both deserve someone who truly cares for us.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed,” Kakashi admitted after contemplating Iruka’s words. His relationship with Aoba had been based on the wrong things. He’d done nothing but hurt a friend who genuinely loved him. He was still thinking of his ruined relationship with Aoba and his confusion around Iruka when he asked, “How do you know when the timing is right and you’re with the right person for the right reasons?”
“If I knew the answer I probably wouldn’t still be single,” Iruka sighed and ran his fingers through Kakashi’s hair.
Kakashi had thought Iruka had fallen asleep until he began to mumble, “Have you ever been somewhere or done something and just had a sense of calm wash over you and you knew that in that moment you were exactly where you were supposed to be with who you were supposed to be with doing exactly what you’re supposed to do?”
“I imagine it would be something like that,” Iruka continued as he felt Kakashi’s head nod against him.

MisatosPenPen: Thank you for your constant support. My Kakashi rarely cries when thinking of Kushina. He’s sad she’s not around but she’s bullied him into cheering up so much that the memories make him smile.

Daga: This this qualify? I can’t promise to update on a particular schedule but I promise this won’t be abandoned.

Wickedsinn: Thank you for your enthusiasm. I’m glad you liked the fishing rod Kyuubi tails.

LovelessUchiha: Wow! I am always flabbergasted to learn my words have provoked such a strong emotional response. Thank you.

Feklar: Thank you for your kind words. I am so happy you like the day to day details. At times I wondered if they were a little boring so it makes me happy to see they aren’t.
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Another Perfect Wonder