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Glue between the Cracks	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 4116 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor make profit of it. Kishimoto owns it.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Author's note: Early morning classes and late evening ones - they suck. Apologies for the lateness; the early hours and long days at uni are kicking my butt *clears throat* I'm also aware that this chapter isn't that long compared to some others, but I wanted to give you something for the long wait.
Warning: hm, a fight; smidgen of violence
I hope you'll like it!
Chapter 4
"Talk," Deidara ordered, crossing his arms. "And this better be a damn good explanation, Itachi."
"It's complicated," Itachi admitted, uncertain whether he should walk further into the room or not.
Deidara had had quite the temper back then and the last thing he wanted was to be caught in the crossfire of that – especially because it looked like he hadn't lost even a shred of that temper.
"I've got time, un," Deidara smiled thinly; his eyes shining dangerously. "So start talking."
"I did almost die," Itachi started and slowly made his way to the couch, sitting down on the edge of it.
Deidara twitched, narrowing his eyes, but he remained standing on the other side of the furniture.
"It was touch and go for a while, but I somehow pulled through. While I was at the hospital, my employer came to visit me," the Alpha continued, careful not to use Nagato's name. The last thing he needed right now was Deidara trying to dig up information about the older man.
"Your employer – but not Sasuke-kun?" Deidara frowned heavily. "That doesn't make any sense, un."
"Sasuke wasn't informed yet that I had pulled through; the doctors weren't sure yet whether I would pull through completely, so they thought it was best to leave him in the dark."
"Man, what shitsticks," the blond man muttered. "Did they ever stop to think that maybe your little brother would have wanted to say goodbye, un? Anyway, that still doesn't explain why your employer was allowed to see you when they didn't even inform your brother."
"This man has quite some connections," Itachi went on carefully. "And he used those to visit me in the hospital so he could talk to me."
"Hold on." Deidara raised a hand; his frown deepening even further. "I went to your funeral – how the hell is that possible? Why would the doctors pronounce you dead when you clearly pulled through, un?"
They were entering the difficult part of the explanation. "Because as far as the hospital and everyone else was concerned, I died three days after the surgery," Itachi answered, releasing his breath slowly. "My boss used his connections to get me out of the hospital unnoticed and falsified the papers."
Blue eyes stared at him in morbid curiosity. "What kind of employer is that, un?"
"One with connections." It was Itachi's turn to smile thinly now.
"Fuck," the Omega muttered, seemingly caught between baffled and pissed off. "Why the hell would he do that? Where the fuck were you all these years, arsehole? You let me and your brother think you were dead for eight fucking years – what's your damn excuse for that, un?!" Blue eyes flashed dangerously and Deidara's arms dropped down; his hands balling into fists.
It seemed that fury was winning again.
"I'd gone off the radar for all those years," Itachi replied, still trying to decide how much he would tell the blond man. It had been one thing to tell the full truth to his brother – he wasn't so certain whether he could bring himself to confess to Deidara as well.
Sasuke understood why he had done what he did – would the Omega be just as understanding? He didn't dare to bet on that.
"And why did you go off the radar for all those years, un?" Blue eyes narrowed warily.
"I – spent that time trying to find out how many people had been involved in the burglary and murder of my parents," Itachi admitted. "I used my employer's connections to help me with that. I didn't want to drag either Sasuke or you into the mess, so I decided to lay low until I was sure it was safe to resurface."
Deidara pursed his lips and abruptly turned around, marching to the window. He stared out of it for a moment, quiet, while above them a family had just arrived home, judging by the thundering footsteps which made the ceiling groan silently.
"What did you do to them?" Deidara turned around, his blue eyes piercing and hard. "When you found them?"
The Alpha gazed at him, unwilling still to admit the full truth. What would happen if he admitted to getting rid of those cockroaches entirely? Would Deidara understand? Or would he go to the police instead? Itachi would be able to handle himself if the police got involved; he hadn't left anything behind which could link the murders to him and if need be, Nagato's help would only be one phone call away.
It would make life difficult and messy for him for at least a while, however, and he didn't want a police investigation messing up rebuilding his bond with Sasuke. People would call him selfish, even callous for that, but … He'd done what he had needed to do to avenge their parents and keep his little brother safe. He would never regret snuffing out the lives of those arseholes; they had got what had been coming to them the moment they had dared to attack his family.
The police wouldn't see it that way, though. They might even try to drag Sasuke into the mess, perhaps even suspect him of aiding Itachi and that just wouldn't do. His hands were covered with the blood of countless men, but Sasuke's were clean and the last thing he needed was to get involved in Itachi's past, when all he should do was focus on his studies and his mate.
"Am I better off not knowing what you did, un?" Deidara questioned knowingly, grimly. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his jeans; his shoulders hunched slightly forwards.
Silently Itachi inclined his head.
Deidara nodded and glanced away before meeting his eyes straight on again. "These people – is there any chance they're going to retaliate, un?"
"No." His answer was as decisive as it had been when Sasuke had asked him the same question. "They can't do anything."
Because they've been all wiped out.
Deidara sucked his cheeks in before releasing his breath in an explosive gust. "And what now, un? What's your plan?"
"Stay here, build up a normal life and bond with my brother and his mate – and my nephew," Itachi answered, standing up. "I didn't know you'd got back into touch with Sasuke."
The other man shrugged stiffly. "Met him and Naruto-kun in a store a little while ago. I recognised him instantly – you Uchiha are hard to forget, un." His last admission had him scowling harshly, dropping his head to stare at the floor. If his eyes were capable of shooting bullets, there would be several holes into the floor by now, Itachi was sure of that.
"They hadn't told me about you," Itachi admitted.
He wondered whether that had been intentional on the couple's part or not. Naruto had genuinely looked stressed, meaning Sasuke had most likely told him there was a history between Itachi and Deidara. How much did Sasuke know, though? He'd still been so young before their lives had turned upside down – would he have even remembered that Itachi and Deidara had been growing closer to each other in the weeks before the attack?
If he did, was not mentioning Deidara's presence in the city intentional on his part or had he also genuinely forgotten about it? Or had that been the subject he'd wanted to talk to Itachi about when he'd invited him over?
"No." Deidara's laugh was short, stopping off just as abruptly as it had started. "Why would they have?"
"Deidara …" Itachi trailed off, for the first time in his life not knowing what to say, what to do. Even seeing Sasuke again for the first time in years hadn't left him floundering this badly.
Deidara had always been an unknown variable, though. As unpredictable as fireworks, Itachi had never been sure how the other man would react. He'd always had at least an idea how his younger brother would react, Deidara not so much. It had been that unpredictability which had pulled Itachi in at the start, he remembered. Deidara had been wild, unpredictable, as likely to hug you as punch you in the gut. He almost never had reacted like other people would have, something which had always intrigued Itachi.
Hanging out with Deidara had always left him wondering what would happen next; the man keeping him on his toes every day. He'd liked that, though; the uncertainty, the rush of not knowing whether Deidara would allow the day to proceed normally or would try his hardest to turn the entire world upside down.
He wondered whether he would have the chance to marvel about those questions again in the future or not.
"While your reasons might be – valid," Deidara said, grimacing, "you're still a fucking dick, Itachi. You've got the nerve to disappear for eight fucking years and then you just show up, being all like, 'Hey, here I am again, what did I miss?'. What the hell is wrong with you?"
It was quite disconcerting how much this conversation felt like a flashback at the moment. No wonder Deidara had hit it off with Naruto; the two were very alike, he realised discomforted.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, he says!" Deidara laughed bitterly, throwing his hands up in the air. "You think that fixes eight years of thinking you had died, un?! I packed up my shit as soon as I had enough money because I couldn't stand to remain in the town you'd died in! And now it turns out you're alive and kicking and all you can fucking say is that you're sorry?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"
And there was that unpredictability showing itself in the form of rage. Itachi hid a wince. Clearly Deidara hadn't let go of his anger yet.
"I should have told you, but I didn't want to drag you into that mess," Itachi tried to explain, but Deidara just scoffed.
"You think I wouldn't have been able to handle myself, un? I'll have you know I don't need anyone to try to keep me safe!" the Omega sneered; his eyes flashing dangerously. "Least of all you! I could kick your arse any time; I didn't need you making decisions in my place!"
"I know and I shouldn't have done that," Itachi said tersely. "But the type of people I dealt with weren't just school bullies you could kick the shit out of once and that'd be it."
"You think I'm that naïve, arsehole?" Deidara snapped, taking a step forwards. "You think I can't form an idea of the people you hung out with these past eight years? I'm not a damn idiot!"
"I never said you were!" Itachi raised his voice, irritation brewing in spite of himself. Deidara had always known how to push his buttons; it appeared that eight years hadn't changed that. "But it was too dangerous for me to contact you or Sasuke; I couldn't get you two in trouble because - "
"You goddamn arsehole, how about you would have let us decide whether we wanted to take the risk?!" Deidara retorted heatedly, balling his hands into fists. "But no, of course you didn't consider that, because god forbid Mister Perfect Alpha would have let people help him! Wouldn't want the plebs to think they'd be able to help the almighty Uchiha Alpha!"
"What the hell are you on about?" Itachi snapped incredulously. "I never once thought that - "
"That would be a hell of a lot more believable if you hadn't shut us out for eight fucking years, Itachi!" Deidara snarled and somehow the distance between them had shorted until just two feet by now. "You let us believe you were dead for years! You fucking arsehole!"
Just like with Naruto, he was too late to react; Deidara's fist slamming into his stomach caught him off guard and he groaned, bending double even though he knew that wouldn't do jack shit to lessen the pain blooming rapidly now. Fuck, he'd forgotten just how strong Deidara was. What was up with the blond Omega in his life and them punching him?
"You deserve that one, you son of a bitch," Deidara swore, but his voice sounded choked all of a sudden and when Itachi cautiously looked up, still clamping an arm around his stomach, he got one look of blue eyes rapidly filling with tears before Deidara turned away and went to storm off.
Ignoring the pain, he quickly reached out and snatched Deidara's wrist, ducking when Deidara whirled around enraged and sent his other fist flying. Itachi caught his other arm before he could try punching him again and wrapped his arms firmly around the blond man, pulling him against him. Deidara struggled fiercely for a moment, even stamping down harshly on his right foot while hissing something furiously, but Itachi refused to let go. His foot was killing him, his stomach was definitely not recovered yet, but he held onto to the Omega, not willing to let him go.
"You're such an arsehole," Deidara choked out and then buried his face into Itachi's shoulder; his fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he clung onto the Alpha in return.
He didn't make any noise, but the light tremble and the way he was digging his face into his shoulder to the point of almost hurting told Itachi enough: he was crying. He was crying and it was all Itachi's fault.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, running one hand lightly over soft, long hair. "I'm so sorry."
It was all he could say.
Deidara left a little while later, unwilling to look him in the eyes. Itachi let him go, knowing he needed to give the other man some time now. Perhaps in a few weeks he could try contacting him again, when Deidara had had the time to let everything sink in properly. He would wait; he'd waited eight years, he could wait a bit longer to have Deidara back in his life.
Not long after Deidara had left, Sasuke and Naruto walked into the apartment again; both carrying looks of sympathy.
"How did it go?" Naruto asked carefully, lowering himself down on the couch.
They'd left the apartment entirely, having gone somewhere outside judging by his reddish nose and cheeks. At least that meant they hadn't heard the ugly argument between Itachi and Deidara.
"As well as could have been expected, I suppose," Itachi answered blankly, absently rubbing over his stomach. The ache was slowly dissipating and he sat down in the armchair. "Did you call me over because of Deidara?" he directed the question at Sasuke, who'd just sat down next to Naruto.
"No, I actually hadn't stopped to think that Deidara hadn't met you before," Sasuke admitted and grimaced. "Sorry for that. Didn't mean to surprise you both like that."
The older man sighed and rolled his shoulders. "What's done is done. Better here than accidentally walking into him on the streets, I suppose." Leaning back into the chair, he questioned, "Why did you call me over then? I assume it's something serious that you can't tell me over the phone or in a text?"
That, for some reason, made Naruto ask, "Do you want me to leave you two alone for a bit?"
Sasuke shook his head, grabbing the blond's hand. "No, doesn't matter. You can stay; I don't mind."
Itachi gazed at them with slightly furrowed eyebrows, wondering what exactly was so serious that Naruto had been willing to give them some privacy.
"It's …" Sasuke hesitated, looking uncertain how to go on.
Itachi caught Naruto rubbing his thumb across the back of his brother's hand, shuffling closer to his side, and that seemed to give the younger Alpha the strength to go on.
"The attack, it made me – paranoid," Sasuke started haltingly; his face completely blank. "I used to have nightmares for quite a while, but they got better and I thought – I thought I had got better, but," he took a deep breath, "I didn't."
He didn't look either of them in the eyes as he went on, a hint of self-loathing staining his voice, "I actually got worse. I thought I had it under control, but the baby … I went overboard with some of the things I did and Naruto made me realise that – I need help. So. I'm – going to speak to a psychologist, starting this Wednesday, so that … I can stop being af – so that I can give everything a place."
Pain, which had nothing to do with the punch Deidara had given him, filled him at the thought of how much his brother had been suffering throughout all these years and his guilt, never that far away since he'd resurfaced from the underworld, surged up again as he realised he was at least partly to blame for the fact that his little brother was still suffering.
He started, "I'm sorry, Sasuke, I never meant - " but was cut off by Sasuke raising his hand.
"No, it's not – I don't need your apology. I just wanted to know whether – you would join me during one of those sessions? If the psychologist is a decent one anyway," he added; his face twisting peculiarly. "And if he doesn't mind."
"I don't think he will," Naruto said quietly. "Not if you explain who he is."
Sasuke shrugged stiffly, but still held on tightly to his hand.
Meanwhile Itachi contemplated the question. Talking to a psychologist wasn't something he'd been planning on ever doing. He'd dealt with his trauma in his own way and he wasn't about to tell a stranger everything he'd done during those eight years. If not the police, then the psychologist would probably make a phone call to the local psychiatric centre to have him admitted if he was truthful about everything he'd done after the night his parents had been murdered.
The last thing he wanted was having a person dissecting his mind. Sasuke was asking him, however, not even demanding but extending the offer and he found that he couldn't refuse his little brother.
Perhaps it was the guilt talking, but if it would make Sasuke happy to have him attending one of those sessions … So be it.
"I just thought that maybe it could help you too, talking about it," Sasuke muttered, looking away with an embarrassed look on his face.
"Perhaps it will," Itachi conceded and smiled faintly when Sasuke whipped his head around surprised. "If you want and the psychologist is okay with it, I'll join you during one of your sessions."
"Thank you, nii-san," Sasuke smiled, visibly relaxing.
No, Itachi wasn't fond of talking about his experiences to a complete stranger, but his acquiescence was worth seeing the smile on Sasuke's face.
Right as he was contemplating whether he should buy some skipjack tuna, thinking he could invite Sasuke and Naruto over to his apartment for dinner for a change, he heard a familiar voice in a nearby aisle laughingly saying, "Like hell I will! Keep dreaming, un!"
Deidara was here.
He hadn't seen the other man in nearly three weeks after their rather explosive meeting in Sasuke's apartment. Before he could think twice about it – perhaps three weeks wasn't nearly long enough yet to give the other man time to cool off, but well – he abandoned the fish aisle and walked into the direction of Deidara's voice.
Maybe he could suggest they talk in a more neutral setting like a café? Not all the air had been cleared between them and he found himself wanting to talk, really talk, to the blond man; catching up on all the time they had missed.
If that went well, then perhaps afterwards they could …
He froze when he turned the corner of the aisle he'd been certain of would contain Deidara, considering how close he'd sounded before.
He was there indeed – kissing a red haired man full on his mouth.
AN2: Yeah, I really did end it there. At least you got an update, right? *coughs*
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
I hope to see you all back in the next chapter!
Cuddles
Melissa
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Glue between the Cracks