Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

The Grass is Green on the Other Side	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 2974 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor make profit from it. Kishimoto owns it.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Author's note: Look at that, guys, an early update :D I'm extremely happy with the response this story is receiving ~ Reading your response really lifts up my spirit and brings me in a good mood every time!
Thanks to the following reviewers: smint45; moodysavage; DemonicTenshi; vidalhbea; Anon; MisatoPenPen (I'll see what I can come up with)
Warnings: oh, you know, the usual: drama, angst, masturbation and finally the news you have all been waiting for: the revelation! (I'm serious this time, guys. I hope I don't disappoint after keeping it a secret for so long *sweatdrops*)
I hope you'll like this chapter!

Chapter 4
Mouths opened in a surprised gasp and they started kissing each other hungrily, hands clutching at each other's body to drag them closer, while their tongues sneaked between reddening lips to start a hesitant dance with the other one.
The first touch of their tongues together felt electrifying and it made Naruto press himself closer to the Alpha in desperation, hungry for more. Teeth clacked together in their rush to feel more and the blond felt hands closing around his hips, pulling him closer until they were flush against each other, no space left between their bodies that were quickly heating up.
God, no kiss had ever made him feel so out of control. He felt like he couldn't breathe and yet he didn't want to pull away from those glorious lips. He wanted more, he needed more. The raging inferno inside of him couldn't be quelled by a kiss only and he desperately brought his hands underneath Sasuke's shirt, feeling abdominal muscles clench underneath his touch.
A strangled moan was ripped from his throat when a devious tongue curled around his own and sucked on it while one hand slipped underneath his borrowed shirt, searing hot against his side while the other hand slid down to his arse, squeezing it firmly.
"Tardiness is not becoming of an Uchiha, Otouto. Do I still need to remind you that …"
Blue eyes shot open and widened in shock when Naruto registered what exactly was happening. He ripped himself out of Sasuke's firm grip, but the damage had already been done.
There in the doorway stood Itachi and Deidara both shocked to the core, though Itachi's face remained mostly blank while Deidara's mouth hung open. Still, Itachi's slightly widened eyes were enough to tell the blond that he hadn't expected to walk in on this particular scene.
"Itachi," Sasuke said breathlessly and he tried to brush his shirt back down, though it was a fruitless gesture.
"I – I can explain," Naruto mumbled weakly, but to be honest he didn't know how to explain this particular scene. He had been kissing Sasuke. Not even a simple brushing of lips, but full blown French kissing and feeling each other up. Oh fuck, what had he done? How could he have done this? How could he have kissed another man while he was still together with his mate? He couldn't even use the stupid, feeble excuse of being drunk, because save for maybe Sasuke having drugged his chocolate milk (and that was something he couldn't see the other man doing), he had been completely sober.
Shit. He had kissed Sasuke. How the fuck was he supposed to explain this? This was not good. Not good at all. Fuck.
"I'm sure you can," Itachi replied sardonically and raised a slim eyebrow. "Deidara, take Naruto-kun home. My brother and I need to talk."
Deidara grimaced and walked over to Naruto, taking him by his hand. "Come on, Naruto-kun. I'll take you back home," he said softly; his baby blue eyes troubled.
"Wait, my clothes, they are still in the dryer …" Naruto fumbled, not even daring to look at Sasuke, who was standing stiffly next to him.
"I'll take them with me once they are done," Itachi answered coolly; his dark, piercing eyes trained on his brother.
Deidara tugged at his hand again and subdued Naruto followed him, flinching when he passed Itachi, whose aura practically screamed anger.
Heavy, oppressing silence followed the two blonds into the car until Deidara started Itachi's car.
"What happened?" Deidara asked softly, throwing Naruto a worried look. "Why were you at Sasuke-kun's place, un?"
Naruto stared at his fists, too ashamed to look the older blond in the eyes. "I had a fight with Gaara and I left the house. Sasuke found me and offered to bring me to his place, because it was raining," he muttered.
"So how did that lead to the scene Itachi and I walked into? Because that went a bit far for lending shelter," Deidara inquired and he was obviously attempting to be lighthearted.
"I don't know," Naruto whispered and bit his lower lip hard. He released it as soon as the bitter taste of iron flooded over his tongue. "It wasn't … I didn't mean …" He didn't know what to say. What on earth could he say to explain himself? He had cheated on his mate by kissing his doctor. Fuck, how was he supposed to explain this to Gaara?
"Why were you and Gaara-san fighting?"
"I asked him to get an examination, because all tests concluded that I'm fertile. He refuses to take one and I got mad at him," Naruto answered with bitterness tainting his voice.
"Why is he refusing to undergo one?" the older Omega asked with a frown marring his face.
"He says there's no need to, because he doesn't have any problems. I should just be patient," Naruto snorted and his nails bit into the sensitive skin of his palms.
Deidara hesitated visibly. "Did you kiss Sasuke-kun as some sort of revenge?" he asked carefully.
Naruto whipped his head around to look at him in shock. "What? No, of course not! I didn't kiss Sasuke-san in revenge. You know I'm not like that!"
"You also wouldn't normally kiss another man than Gaara-san," the blond pointed out delicately.
Naruto clenched his teeth and looked out of the window, knowing he had no rebuttal to that remark.
It was silent for a while; they left the richer part of the town and entered the part with the moderate sized houses again. It wouldn't be long anymore before Naruto was back home.
"Look, Naruto-kun, I know you're not the type to just kiss another man like that," Deidara spoke up finally and he squeezed Naruto's knee quickly in reassurance. "Do you like Sasuke-kun like that?"
"I don't know, maybe. I know I'm attracted to him," the younger blond admitted ashamed. It sounded even worse when spoken aloud. What he had been denying for weeks now was finally in the open: yes, he was attracted to Sasuke. Had been for a long time now. But that didn't mean he was about to leave Gaara for him!
"You know, there's no shame in being attracted to another person," Deidara said slowly. "Hell, I've felt attraction to other people as well, even though I'm together with Itachi."
"Yeah, but you probably never kissed one of those people," Naruto muttered bitterly.
"No, I didn't," Deidara admitted wryly. "Because I love Itachi more than an anonymous attractive face."
"I do love Gaara," Naruto retorted sharply, clenching his fingers in the soft cloth of his sweatpants. At least that wasn't a lie. He did love the red haired man.
"Maybe you just don't love him enough anymore?" Deidara suggested softly. "Just think carefully of what you're going to do now, Naruto-kun. Gaara-san can act quite difficult at times, but he doesn't deserve you cheating on him. If you are more attracted to Sasuke-kun, then maybe it's time that you and Gaara-san get separated. Both of you deserve a person who loves you completely, not partly."
Naruto kept quiet; a maelstrom of thoughts whirling inside his mind. Most of those thoughts revolved around one troubling question: should he confess to Gaara about the kiss or not?
Far too soon for Naruto's liking, Deidara halted in front of his house and the long haired blond turned towards him, surprising him with a firm hug.
"I'm always here for you, okay, Naruto-kun?" he whispered in his ear. "I'm not going to judge you, whatever you decide. If you need someone to talk to, you can come to me anytime you want, okay?" He pressed a fleeting kiss against Naruto's temple.
"I know," Naruto mumbled and hugged him back. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. "I'll see you soon."
"Bye, Naruto-kun."

The following weeks went by with a strained atmosphere hanging in their house. Guilt ate at him and his desire to not keep any secrets from his mate had made Naruto confess about the kiss to Gaara. Understandably Gaara had been incredibly pissed off, but mostly hurt. And that had made Naruto feel even worse. He had never wanted to hurt Gaara and yet he had done it, purely because he couldn't keep his attraction to himself. If only he hadn't accepted Sasuke's offer to stay at his house for a while; if only he hadn't kissed him back; if only he had pushed him away; if only he had searched another doctor when it became clear that he was becoming too overwhelmed by the Uchiha's presence …
So many 'if only' events that could have been prevented if he hadn't acted like an idiot.
After their conversation, Naruto had offered to stay at a friend's house to give Gaara some space to think, but the red haired man had refused that, stating that he didn't want the blond to leave as this was his house as well.
Still, Naruto tried to keep out of his way, to give him space to think about what he wanted to do next. Of course he wanted Gaara's forgiveness, but he was also smart enough to realise that he had screwed up badly. He hadn't actually slept with Sasuke, but kissing him back was already bad enough.
He wished he could say that he was over his attraction, but to his utter shame he had to admit to himself that the attraction was still there, with the possibility of growing worse. He and Gaara were sleeping in separate rooms for the time being and while Naruto would love nothing more than to be back into Gaara's arms in their bed, he was relieved for the reprieve he had now. Because how on earth would he explain the fact that he kept having wet dreams about the dark haired Alpha man? Dreams that had him waking up, gasping for breath with a heart hammering in his chest and either sticky pants or a hard one that wouldn't go away unless he took care of it. Dreams that left him even more ashamed than the kiss had made him feel; dreams that made him unable to look Gaara in the eyes during the morning.
What the fuck was wrong with him? He had a nearly perfect man as his mate – why couldn't he keep Sasuke out of his mind?
"Fuck," he hissed miserably and glared at his faint reflection in the glass wand of the shower. His dream of last night kept popping up in his mind, no matter how much he tried to forget about it. If only it had stayed with those fragments, it would have been fine. Well, not really fine, but at least doable. With the way his life was turning out lately, though, of course his body had to react to those images as well and try as he might, ignoring it was clearly not the way to go if he wanted to calm down.
Well, he might have started dreaming about Sasuke, but that didn't mean that his fantasies in real life had to involve the Alpha as well.
He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. While his one hand occupied itself by pinching and rolling his nipple until it turned into a hard pebble, sensitive to the touch, his other hand drifted down, lazily drawing circles on his lower stomach, following the intricate design of his tattoo, before he wrapped a hand around his hard cock, which gave a twitch of interest in his wet hand. A soft moan was dragged from his open mouth as he slid his hand up and down over his prick, his thumb pressing and gliding over his leaking head every time he slid his hand up before tracing the prominent vein that made him shiver in delight, his other hand switching over to his neglected nipple, while he imagined Gaara's hands taking the place of his on his body.
Gaara would pinch and suck on his nipple, until they were bright red and hard, before he would direct his mouth elsewhere. Like his collarbone, biting there gently. Or his neck where he would lick a stripe from his collarbone to his ear, stopping to suckle softly on his earlobe. And while he was busy devouring Naruto's mouth next, leaving him breathless, he would push his legs apart, twisting and turning his hand around his cock in just that particular way that would make Naruto see stars and have him begging, pleading for more, for Gaara to grip him more firmly, to touch him more.
And then once he was satisfied that he had made Naruto beg enough, he would slide down until he was on his knees in front of him; jade green eyes glittering mischievously while he took Naruto's prick in his mouth, lavishing him with wet heat; his tongue curling around his throbbing cock, taking him deep in his mouth until Naruto could feel himself touching the backside of Gaara's throat, where muscles would constrict around him, causing him to scream out loud in blinding pleasure.
Naruto moaned softly at the image, feeling pleasure slowly building up while he stroked his throbbing cock leisurely, gripping it firmly whenever he reached the base. He imagined a wicked tongue licking two fingers, before they disappeared from sight and prodded against his entrance, forcing him to open his legs more. Gaara would slide first one finger inside, caressing the contracting walls, before he would slide in a second one, spreading both to open up Naruto. Fingers would rub and caress his inner walls, going deeper and deeper until they pressed against his sweet spot, where Gaara would mercilessly push against it, making Naruto howl in pleasure.
The heat in his belly grew and his legs started to tremble, his breath leaving him in harsh panting. His hand started to move quicker until the heat finally erupted, spilling his essence over his hand, coating it with the sticky fluid, when he imagined simmering eyes looking up at him, with a coy smirk tainting red lips.
He opened his eyes abruptly and slammed his hand against the wall, ignoring how hot pain flashed through his arm.
"God damn it!" he hissed, angry at himself, at his brain for betraying him once again.
Because instead of simmering jade green eyes, it had been burning black ones that had thrown him over the edge.
Fuck, he was really screwed now, wasn't he?

On Friday evening in the middle of March, Gaara sat down next to Naruto, who looked up startled from his book. It had been exactly four weeks since Naruto had kissed Sasuke back.
"I don't want to break up with you," Gaara announced abruptly and gazed at the blond with unreadable eyes.
"I don't want to break up either," Naruto admitted warily and closed his book, placing it on the table. This conversation needed his complete attention.
"I'm still a bit pissed off," the red haired man continued and reached out to grab Naruto's hand, entwining their fingers. "And I sort of want to punch that asshole in the face for daring to put a move on you when he knows that you're taken."
Naruto stayed quiet, thinking it would be better not to mention that he himself shared part of the blame as well, considering he had kissed the older man back.
"But I'm not willing to lose you," Gaara admitted softly and his thumb slowly caressed Naruto's hand. "So I forgive you for kissing him. I just want you to promise me one thing."
"Anything," Naruto agreed eagerly. Relief, as warm as sunshine, was filling him at Gaara's words. His mate had forgiven him. He had forgiven him for hurting him – that was more than Naruto deserved.
"I want you to switch doctors," Gaara told him with a determined look on his face. "It's not that I don't trust you anymore, but I don't trust that son of a bitch to keep his hands to himself."
"All – all right, I'll switch doctors," Naruto agreed, a bit thrown off by the request. Then again, he should have expected something like that, right? It was only normal that Gaara wouldn't trust him around Sasuke anymore. Guess he needed to find a new doctor then. It would be a hassle, considering Deidara had told him that Sasuke was one of the best in his field, but surely he wasn't the only one who could help Naruto?
"Thank you," the red haired man sighed relieved and pressed a soft, tender kiss on Naruto's lips, who returned it rather clumsily. A hand carded through his unruly, blond hair. "I'll search for a new doctor, okay? Maybe someone else will be able to help us have a baby."
Naruto nodded, glad that Gaara still wanted to have a child with him. He didn't have it in him to point out that the new doctor would probably ask Gaara to let himself be examined; he wasn't in the mood for another fight, right after they had finally resolved the last one.
"I love you," Gaara whispered, pressing another soft kiss against his lips, before pressing their foreheads together. "I promise we'll get through this."
Naruto smiled weakly and squeezed Gaara's hand.
He vehemently tried to ignore the part in him that wasn't relieved at Gaara's forgiveness and was mourning the fact that he wouldn't see Sasuke again.
It's better this way, he thought to himself, while he let Gaara pull him towards their bedroom. I have a steady relationship – why throw that away for something that isn't certain?
And yet, something hurt deep inside of him.

"So has Gaara-san found a new doctor yet?" Deidara asked and Naruto heard the faint splashing of water in the background. "Akihito, don't splash so much! I don't want to clean the bathroom again."
"No, he hasn't," Naruto sighed and closed his notebook where he wrote down the marks of his students. "He said he's still looking for a good one."
"How long has he been searching for?"
"Two weeks now," the younger blond replied, staring blankly at his closed notebook. He rubbed over his forehead and leant back in his chair, picking up the faint chirping of birds outside.
"I doubt he'll be able to find someone as good as Sasuke-kun," Deidara murmured. "Have you taken another test lately?"
"Yeah, negative again of course," Naruto snorted harshly, dropping his free hand on his lap. At this point he hadn't even expected a positive result. He had merely bought one again, because it had been a month since he last used a test. It was starting to become a waste of money.
"Well, maybe you'll have more luck in the upcoming weeks," Deidara told him, making an attempt to sound cheerful. "April and May are the months when we're the most fertile, so maybe that will give you a boost!"
"Yeah, maybe," Naruto agreed half-heartedly and started petting Shukaku, who had deemed his lap as his new place to take a nap. The reminder of which month they were in now had worry gnawing at him again. As he was now off suppressants entirely, his heat should be worse than the year before. Last year when he had still been taking his suppressants daily, the heats of April and May had bothered him quite significantly, despite the fact that his hormones had been suppressed. He should be dragging Gaara in their bed or any other available place so that he could jump on him, like he had done quite a few times last year.
Instead while he did feel the faint stirrings of his heat welling up, it didn't give him the urge to jump Gaara's bones whenever he could.
And that particular fact scared the hell out of him. Why was his heat so weak this year? It should be overwhelming him, keeping him and Gaara locked inside their house, but Naruto didn't feel any different than last month. Maybe the suppressants had unintentionally caused a defect in him? But Sasuke had been clear about the fact that the suppressants didn't have any influence on his body anymore.
Whatever it was, it had left Gaara capable of going into work this morning without any hassle.
"Naruto-kun, are you …"
A loud beeping noise alerted Naruto to the fact that someone else was calling him, trying to get through.
"Hang on, Deidara-kun, someone else is trying to get through to me," he told his friend and switched between the two lines after the older blond agreed to wait. Who was trying to get through to him? Kiba? Shikamaru? "Hello?"
"Naruto-san, it's me, Sasuke," the low, baritone voice spoke up, causing Naruto to sit up straight in his chair abruptly, making Shukaku whine in disagreement.
"Sasuke-san?" he said dumbly, while his heart started to beat wildly. Sasuke was calling him? How had the man got his number? "How did you get my number?"
"I'm sorry, but I used the one you gave up on your information sheet," Sasuke apologized and he sounded sheepishly. "I didn't know how to contact you otherwise without risking the chance of pissing off your mate."
Right, he had promised Gaara that he wouldn't be near Sasuke again. He winced and bit his lip, feeling nerves playing up. But a phone call should be fine, right? It wasn't like Naruto could get distracted by Sasuke's curious scent through the phone and he wouldn't be as stupid as to agree to meet Sasuke somewhere again. He had chosen for Gaara, he reminded himself.
But a phone call couldn't hurt, right?
"Eh, so why are you calling?" he asked wearily. He didn't want to come across as rude, but it was odd for the Alpha to call him. Especially after what had happened the last time they saw each other. Maybe Sasuke was calling him to discuss the kiss? Naruto grimaced and shook his head. He didn't think he would be up for discussing that particular kiss any time soon.
"Has Gaara-san visited a doctor yet?" Sasuke inquired briskly.
The blond felt thrown off by the sudden question. "What? No, he hasn't. He's been searching for a new doctor."
"You told me he did go to a doctor before you met him – has he ever told you the doctor's name?" Sasuke questioned further.
"Eh, no, he never mentioned the name. Why?" Naruto furrowed his eyebrows, confused at the odd turn this conversation was taking.
"Do you think you can find the name of his doctor in his diary or so?"
"I can search for it, but I doubt he still has the name written down somewhere," Naruto replied reluctantly. "Why? Why do you need the name?"
"I figured that his last doctor might know whether he has issues with fertility," Sasuke explained frankly. "If I have the name, I can look him up and ask him about it."
"Isn't that illegal? Patient confidentiality and all that?" Naruto raised an eyebrow, absentmindedly scratching Shukaku's ear.
Sasuke made a non-committal sound. "It'll be fine," he answered vaguely. "It's not like Gaara-san is still seeing that doctor, right?"
"Right," Naruto said slowly, biting his lip.
"Just let me know if you have found the name, okay? I really want to help you, Naruto-san. I wasn't lying when I said that I want to see you happy," Sasuke said sincerely.
"Yeah, okay, thanks. I – I have to go now," Naruto fumbled and he barely waited for Sasuke to say goodbye before he ended the call.
His hand trembled when he placed his phone on his desk. What the hell had just happened?

It turned out that Naruto was right: Gaara hadn't kept anything remotely related to his previous doctor. He had briefly contemplated the thought to ask Gaara for the name, but he could already envision the argument that would follow after that request and had decided that it just wasn't worth the fight. He was still treading on thin ice after his kiss with Sasuke and he didn't want to ruin their relationship even more by nagging Gaara about his past.
Yet, he still wanted to know who had been Gaara's doctor. If Sasuke was right, then that person could maybe tell whether or not Gaara was fertile or not. Naruto didn't want to think badly of his mate, but surely after eight months of trying and not succeeding, that meant something had to be wrong. He didn't want to antagonize the red haired man, but he was becoming quite impatient. All he wanted was his own family and it was so close in reach and yet still so far away. He was getting quite desperate and this desperation made him decide to call Gaara's brother, Kankuro, behind his mate's back to ask him about the mysterious doctor.
"Why do you need to know Gaara's doctor?" Kankuro asked surprised.
He didn't sound suspicious or wary, so Naruto ploughed on, "I need it to fill in some paperwork for the government," he fibbed. There was a reason why he had called Kankuro and not Temari. Temari would have drilled him about this supposed paperwork until he either had to admit that it was a lie or until she had discovered the truth herself. Kankuro on the other hand was lazy and less likely to look something up if it didn't have any direct impact on his life or his cases.
For once Naruto was glad Kankuro was such a lazy guy, rivalling Shikamaru in that aspect.
"And you can't call Gaara or wait for him to come home?" Kankuro sighed and the faint murmuring of other people was audible in the background.
"Can't, no. Gaara is presenting a case now and I kind of waited too long to fill in this paperwork and it has to be posted this afternoon," Naruto forced a sheepish chuckle. God, he felt awful lying about this, sneaking around Gaara's back just to get the name, but he saw no other option. This mysterious doctor was his last hope.
"God, Naruto, you really should stop procrastinating; it's not exactly befitting for a teacher," Kankuro chided him laughing.
They exchanged some more good natured banter, before Kankuro finally told him the name of Gaara's previous doctor. Not recognizing the name at all, he simply put it in a text message and sent it through to Sasuke.
And now all he could do was wait.

"You know, I was thinking that maybe we could take some time off in May," Gaara mused out loud, while his hand slipped underneath Naruto's shirt, fingers skidding across his stomach. His lips caressed a spot right underneath Naruto's ear. "A week or so. We can spend it in that small country house near the mountains that my father left me. Just the two of us. What do you think?"
Naruto smiled, nuzzling Gaara's cheek, while his own hands were wandering up and down the other one's strong back. They were lying on the couch, Gaara on top of Naruto with their legs tangled together. It was Saturday, late afternoon, and they had been spending the entire day like this. Gaara for once didn't have to show up at his office and they were taking advantage of this rare reprieve.
"Sounds good to me," he hummed in agreement, tilting his neck back to give the red haired man more space. For a couple of tantalizing seconds, the blond felt teeth resting against the side of his neck and he held his breath, wondering whether Gaara would finally say goodbye to his rule of no real biting. Disappointment welled up inside of him when teeth were replaced by lips and a teasing tongue. Well, he should have expected that, really. And yet, this time it stung worse than before that Gaara wasn't giving him the Mark.
A loud ringtone startled them both and Naruto's hand shot out, scrambling across the table to grab his vibrating phone. Gaara sat up, allowing Naruto more room and the blond's eyes widened when they caught sight of the display screen. A name he hadn't seen in more than a week was flashing up on his screen.
"Who is it?" Gaara asked curiously, cocking his head slightly.
"It's Iruka-sensei," Naruto answered absentmindedly, swinging his legs off the couch so that he could stand up. "Give me a moment; I'll be right back."
Gaara shrugged and rolled his eyes, leaning forwards to grab the remote so that he could watch some television.
Hastily Naruto made his way to another room, where he was certain that he wouldn't be overheard. "Why are you calling me?" he demanded to know when he accepted the call.
A short pause. "I figured you would want to know what your mate's doctor had to say about his former patient. I didn't think showing up at your doorstep would be a good idea," Sasuke replied in a silk tone.
Naruto ignored the way his heart seemed to skip a bit at hearing Sasuke's smooth voice again.
"Wha-what did he say?" he asked nervously and he started to pull at a loose thread of his shirt.
"It's not easy to say this over the phone," Sasuke started and he sounded wary. "I don't know how I can soften the blow for you."
"Surely it can't be that bad?" Naruto laughed nervously, but his heart started to beat wildly, the sound filling his ears.
"Naruto-san … Apparently Gaara-san underwent a certain treatment," Sasuke said slowly. "A year before he met you."
"What kind of treatment?" Naruto asked, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry.
"There is a particular treatment that Alpha can undergo and it's not reversible. I'll spare you the long explanation and the medical terminology, but it comes down to the fact that Gaara-san took a cocktail of pills which will render all his seed useless," Sasuke replied softly. "He won't ever be able to get someone pregnant."
"He, he … So I won't ever be able to have his baby?" Naruto whispered. Numb. That was all he felt. Numb, shocked to the core. And hurt. Incredibly hurt. This couldn't be true, right? There had to be some kind of mistake! There was no way Gaara would have taken pills to essentially render himself infertile. That just couldn't be true. He had assured Naruto that he wanted children! He wanted a baby with Naruto, he had agreed to try for one. Surely the doctor had to be mistaken?
"I'm sorry, Naruto," Sasuke murmured, dropping the polite suffix once more. "I asked his doctor whether he was sure and he was. He remembered it quite clearly, because Gaara-san was one of the very few Alpha who willingly chose that treatment."
"So I won't … He can't …" Naruto tried to finish his question, but his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and he stumbled against the counter, gripping the edge to steady himself. Everything seemed to spin in front of him. Was this some kind of nightmare?
"I'm really sorry, Naruto, but Gaara-san won't be able to impregnate you, no matter how long you try," Sasuke answered softly.
The sympathetic tone in his voice made Naruto nearly hurl.
"I – I have to go," he babbled, feeling the hot sting of tears pressing against his eyes.
"Wait, Naruto!"
He ended the call abruptly, ignoring Sasuke's concerned shout, and stared at the floor; his hand clenched around his cell phone. The sharp sting of his nails digging in the soft flesh of his palm told him that he wasn't dreaming. The conversation with Sasuke had really happened just now.
Gaara couldn't impregnate him.
He would never be able to carry Gaara's baby, give birth to it and hold it. All those months of trying … And for what? It had been useless from the very start. Nothing Naruto would do or had done would have made a difference after all. All those nights of worrying and sometimes even crying when the test announced another negative result … All those moments of hope blossoming up in him whenever he thought that they had finally succeeded …
Why had Gaara never told him about this? Why had he let Naruto believe that they would have a baby together?
He should have been fucking told about this! Gaara knew he had a children's wish – Naruto had made that clear from the beginning. And yet he had let the blond believe for their entire time together that they would eventually have a baby. Naruto had already said goodbye to his wish of getting married and being Marked – all his hopes had been fixated on a baby of them together. Something that would unite them, show the world that they loved each other.
And now he heard that that dream would never become reality. No matter how long they would try, he would never experience a baby growing inside of him, kicking him, moving inside of him. He would never know how it felt like to hold his own baby in his arms.
All his dreams … completely shattered.
Why? That one question whirled around in his mind, suppressing everything else. Why had Gaara lied to him? Why had he accepted that treatment?
Why? Why? Why?!
Fury welling up inside of him, threatening to explode like a volcano, he marched straight into the living room, coming to an abrupt halt in the middle of the room.
Gaara raised an eyebrow when he caught sight of Naruto's furious face. "Naruto? What's wrong? Did something …"
"When the fuck were you going to tell me that you made yourself infertile?" Naruto sneered, balling his hands to fists, the knuckles turning white.
The red haired man stilled; Naruto could practically see him closing off, his green eyes growing dull. "Who told you?"
No denial. No reassurance that it wasn't true, that he was fertile. Just a simple question: who had told him.
The last shred of hope died inside of him. "Why didn't you tell me?" Naruto whispered, staring at his mate with accusing eyes.
For the first time since they met, Gaara looked uncomfortable. "I know you have a children's wish and well, I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry."
"You're sorry? You're sorry?" Naruto repeated incredulously, his voice gaining a sharp edge. "You fucking lied to me for years, let me believe for months that we would have a baby and now you have the gall to say you're fucking sorry?!"
"Naruto, I …"
"Why the fuck did you have that treatment, Gaara?!"
"Because I didn't want to screw up any children I would father, okay?" Gaara snapped, standing up in a flash. "I told you how my father treated me and my siblings – I didn't want to become like him! I don't want any children to experience what I went through. So yes, I took those pills, so that I wouldn't be able to get someone pregnant. You can't blame me for not wanting to turn out like my father. You've seen for yourself how he was!"
"You're right, I can't blame you for not wanting to be like your father – but you still should have fucking told me, Gaara! You lied to me for years; you let me believe that we would be having a baby together! How could you do this to me?" Naruto yelled, fury coursing through his veins, heating up his body.
"Look, I know I should have told you about this and I'm really sorry for that. I truly am," Gaara stressed, a hint of frustration ringing through his voice. "But what's done is done. I can't take it back. I know you're hurt right now, but can't we talk about this?"
"Gaara, we've been trying for months; for months I've been hoping to get pregnant, to have your baby," Naruto started in a choked voice; a ringing sound in his ears.
"I know, Naruto, I know," Gaara said soothingly and took a step forwards, holding his hands out as if he wanted to grab the blond. "I know you're hurting now, but I promise to make it better. If you still want a baby, we can adopt one and …"
"Do you really think that you can solve this with, with an adoption?" Naruto asked wildly and he stared at Gaara's non-comprehending face. "I feel like I don't know you anymore. You let me believe for four years that we could have a baby together and now you think that an adoption will solve everything? You fucking lied to me!"
"Aren't you exaggerating a little bit?" Gaara scowled, waving one hand haphazardly through the air. "Yes, I should have told you about this sooner, but it's not like I withheld it from you on purpose. I just thought in the beginning that it wasn't important enough. And it's not like I'm taking away your chances of having a child completely – we can still adopt one. And as it will have no biological tie to me, I don't have to be afraid of screwing up the child with my genes."
"You really don't get it, do you?" Naruto asked dumbfounded and his arms fell slack next to his sides. "I wanted to have your baby. I wanted to feel our baby growing inside of me, a sign that we belong with each other. And you took that from me! You never gave me any choice!"
"Naruto, what does it matter whether the baby is biologically ours or not? If you want to have a baby that badly, we can start the adoption process this weekend. And …" Gaara started and it was clear that he just didn't understand what the issue was.
"I can't believe you," Naruto mumbled, shaking his head numbly and he stumbled back. "You think that us adopting a baby will solve everything? You lied to me, Gaara, you never even gave me a choice! You kept this secret from me, a secret that not only had an impact on your life, but also on mine! Did you never think about that?!"
"Are you saying that you wouldn't have stayed with me if I told you from the beginning that I couldn't give you any children?" Gaara asked incredulously, his eyes widening in shock.
Naruto gazed at him sadly. "I told you from the beginning that I want to have children, Gaara," he answered softly. "I don't think … I think we should go our own way."
Gaara let out a sharp, bitter laugh. "Are you seriously breaking up with me over this? Are you telling me you love your children's wish more than you love me? Wait, have you ever loved me at all? Or just the fact that I could give you children?"
"You know I loved you, but you also knew damn well that I want to have my own children. I'm sorry, Gaara, but I think it's best if we break up," Naruto spoke, swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Four years together, but he didn't think he would ever be able to forgive Gaara for lying to him about something as important as this. He just couldn't. It was not only the fact that his mate, the one he had loved and had expected to grow old with, had lied to him for the entire time they had been together, but also because of the fact that he would never have his own children. If he stayed with Gaara, he would never be able to have a child of his own. Never. And no matter how much he loved Gaara, he couldn't give up his children's wish for him. That was the one thing he was unwilling to give up. He already had to give up his dream of a marriage and of being Marked for Gaara, but he was unwilling to also give up his wish for children.
That was something the red haired man couldn't expect from him.
"I fucking forgave you for kissing that bastard, but you can't forgive me for keeping one little secret?!" Gaara snarled, his eyes lightning up with fury.
"One little secret? You fucking lied to me for four fucking years! You knew how much I wanted children and yet you never said anything! I never asked you to forgive me, Gaara, you decided that on your own! I want children of my own and if I stay with you, I'll never be able to have that. I'm sorry, I just … I can't stay with you, I just can't," Naruto said desperately and walked away. "I'm sorry, I need to leave. I'm really sorry. I'll come back later for my stuff, but now I just …"
"Naruto, wait!"
Naruto snatched his car keys from the table and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He practically threw himself in his car, starting it in his haste when he saw that Gaara had opened the door and was prepared to follow him.
With screaming tires, Naruto fled from the house he had shared with Gaara for three years. The house where he had thought they would grow old together. Pushing back a sob, he breathed harshly, fumbling with his phone. He couldn't believe he had just broken up with Gaara. Part of him was heartbroken, despite the fact that he had initiated the break up himself, but to his deep shame, a part of him was also relieved. It felt like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders.
Had he been deluding himself for the past few months? When had their relationship started deteriorating to the point that Naruto felt the ending had been coming all along? Had it been the moment that he had kissed Sasuke back? The moment he had started having those strange dreams about the dark haired man? Or the moment when it slowly started to dawn on him that Gaara didn't seem that invested to get Naruto pregnant? Maybe they both had been just too stubborn to realise that the ending was nearing. Perhaps they had been deluding themselves for the past two months that everything would be fine even when Naruto had kissed another man and even with their problem to conceive.
Whatever the cause was, it made Naruto feel torn between two conflicting emotions. Relief and heartbreak.
All he knew now was that he had to get away from Gaara, no matter how much it hurt. He needed a clean break. He needed to be away from the other man, at least for a short while. He wouldn't keep running away from him, but at this moment he simply couldn't handle being near the other man.
But to whom could he drive? Kiba? No, Gaara would expect him to go there. Shikamaru? No, him either, because Gaara knew where he lived as well. Neji was out of town, so he couldn't stay there either. Deidara?
Naruto hesitated briefly and then shook his head. That would be one of the first places where Gaara would search him and the blond didn't want to alarm Deidara's children. He didn't want to get the couple tangled up in this either.
Where on earth could he go? Where would Gaara never be able to find him unless Naruto invited him?
His breath hitched and his heart did an odd flip when he remembered the one place where Gaara would never be able to find him, as he had never been there before. A place that was calling out to him now; a weird sort tugging deep inside his stomach. A place where he instinctively knew he would be safe. Safe and welcome.
Resolutely Naruto took the next turn to the right, rubbing a few stray tears from his face.
Maybe he shouldn't go there, not after everything that had happened … But at this point in his life, that was the only thing that could ground him.
It was the only thing in his life that had been certain for a long time now. Perhaps it was time to stop using his head and start listening to his heart. Maybe this time his heart wouldn't screw up.

AN2: I'm pretty sure the revelation was rather anticlimatic, huh? ^^; Anyway, now you finally know why Naruto couldn't get pregnant. We have two more chapters to go, guys, before this story is finished and I hope you'll join me until the end :)
I also started writing Sasuke's pov of this story. Again if you have a specific scene in mind, let me know and I'll see if I can spin an omake out of it!
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review! The next chapter will contain something a lot of you have been waiting for ;)
Cuddles
Melissa
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The Grass is Green on the Other Side