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Claim Me	By : t69 Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 5719 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Prologue, Part 1
- 2-Prologue, Part 2
- 3-Part 1
- 4-Part 2
- 5-Part 3
- 6-Part 4
- 7-Part 5
- 8-Part 6
- 9-Part 7
- 10-Part 8
- 11-Part 9
- 12-Part 10
- 13-Part 11
- 14-Part 12
- 15-Part 13
- 16-Part 14
- 17-Part 15
- 18-Part 16
- 19-Part 17
- 20-Part 18
- 21-Part 19
- 22-Part 20
- 23-Part 21
- 24-Part 22
- 25-Part 23
- 26-Part 24
- 27-Part 25
- 28-Part 26
- 29-Part 27
- 30-Part 28
- 31-Part 29
- 32-Part 30
- 33-Part 31
- 34-Part 32
- 35-Part 33
- 36-Part 34
- 37-Part 35
- 38-Part 36
- 39-Epilogue
- 3
- 4
- 5
Tsunade chuckled softly, not looking up from the document she was reading as she heard the brisk tapping of heels from outside her newly renovated office. Within a few seconds, the door flew open, revealing a sweaty, gasping, pink-haired medical-nin with an unconscious bird on one hand.
"Hey," said the busty blonde sternly, "watch the doors! It hasn't been a week since I was able to move back here so I don't want anything broken." Sakura was about to retaliate when Tsunade spoke again, "And you're late."
"I'm sorry shishō… I saw Tsume-san… and it hit the glass… and Naruto escaped the salesladies…" the junior kunoichi attempted to explain in between deep breaths, wagging around the poor avian and vaguely aware that she was making absolutely no sense. The puzzlement on the hokage's face was more than enough proof of this.
The blonde raised a hand and the pinkette ceased to sputter. "Take a seat, Sakura," the slug-nin commanded. The green-eyed beauty was quick to follow her superior. As she took a seat in front of the village leader's large, perfectly polished wooden desk, her eyes wandered around the newly reconstructed office. "I know," the senior medical-nin spoke, reading the admiration on her apprentice's face, "Pretty nice, eh? My pair of meddlesome old geezers actually have some use, it seems. Their taste in interior design is impeccable." Sakura giggled. It wasn't a secret that Tsunade frequently argued with her senior advisors, but she was certain the slug-nin held them with some regard. They were teammates and good friends of her teacher, the Sandaime Hokage.
"Now, let us go back to business." Sakura straightened in her seat, the still-unconscious bird on her lap. "I have a mission for you. Well, actually, you will be playing more of an auxiliary role in this mission," the liquor-loving lady narrated. "I am not, by any means, undermining your skills or abilities, Sakura," she was quick to add, noting the slight twitch at the corner of her apprentice's lips, "I know damn well that you can carry yourself well on solo missions, but this one is a rather important S-rank mission, so even though the role will be more of supportive, I would rather not risk sending anyone other than the best I can."
Sakura's chest swelled with pride. For Tsunade, the greatest kunoichi in all the five great countries, to speak of her like that was so… elating. And to be sent to an S-rank mission, her very first, it filled her both with pride and trepidation.
"Actually, I had considered sending someone else, because he will be the one in it, but I eventually chose you." Honey-colored eyes drifted to the side. Sakura followed her gaze to a handsome ninja dozing at the hokage's sofa. She had been so distraught at being late that her mind didn't even register the guy's presence despite her eyes having caught a glimpse when she did a once-over of the office. Apparently, Tsunade had already briefed the man regarding the mission.
"Kiba?"
"Now," Tsunade spoke quickly to clarify, "you must understand my trepidation. It's just… different. You might run into some trouble when your emotions get in the way of your duties. And given the mission's importance…"
Sakura was more than familiar with this. Going on a mission with someone of significant emotional value was rather difficult. Take Hatake Kakashi for example. The perverted copy-nin had become more of an older brother figure to the green-eyed kunoichi, and she took all measures to make sure that no harm came to him whenever they went on missions together. Now, this wasn't exactly a bad thing, but it could get a little extreme, for it could lead to faulty decisions that could jeopardize not only the mission, but the team members' lives as well. Sakura recalled an incident a few years ago when she threw herself in front of a flying boulder with absolutely no chakra left to protect the platinum-haired man. Thankfully, Hinata, the remaining member of the three-unit party, was nearby and all that reached the pair was dust particles. Tsunade was informed of this and Sakura was scolded for her inadequate assessment of the situation. "I understand, shishō," said the kunoichi, "I'll do my best."
"Good," said the Sannin, nodding. "Now, let us discuss the actual content of the mission. I must tell you, this is a rather… interesting mission. Kiba jumped at it immediately, actually."
Sakura leaned forward a little, her curiosity piqued.
"The mission requires the role of a prostitute."
"Oh," said Sakura, familiar with some of the lewd roles she had had to take, "You mean a stripper?"
The honey-eyed woman shook her head. "I think you misunderstand, Sakura. I said 'prostitute.' That means actual sexual intercourse with clients, pole dancing, stripping, masturbation and sex in front of an audience, all that jazz."
Sakura was silent for a few moments, assessing what the hokage had just said. After a while, she let out a low whistle, "Oh my, shishō. I don't know," her voice wavering a little for the first time in years, if Tsunade remembered correctly, "I've done pole and lap dancing for around two to three missions, but actual, er, you know? That's a little heavy." The kunoichi had stood up and was pacing back and forth in front of the legendary kunichi, waving around the still-unconscious courier. "Besides, I don't think I have the assets for it," she continued to rattle, openly looking at her chest, "My breasts certainly aren't large enough for…"
"I think you misunderstand again, Sakura."
"…something like that. I've even had trouble in the past since the targets didn't find me voluptuous enou— What?" She was babbling so much about the first "stripper mission" she had that she didn't quite catch what her mentor had said.
"You're not going to be the prostitute in this mission, Sakura." The slug-nin's gaze fell upon the slumbering hunk on her sofa once more. "He is."
The pinkette was unmoving for a few moments, her brain processing the information. Upon digesting everything, her jaw promptly dropped in disbelief. This was unheard of! In all of her twenty-one years, which Sakura admitted wasn't exactly much, she had never heard of any other mission with such a setup. 'It had always been the girl who went undercover,' supplied Inner Sakura.
Tsunade sighed. "Allow me to explain to you the details of the mission," she said, gesturing for the young woman to assume her seated position once more. The emerald-eyed kunoichi followed, albeit slowly, dazedly. "The mission shall occur in the one of the villages in the Land of Water. It's quite close to Kiri and is called 'Hachimitsu.' The entertainment district developed far more quickly than the rest of the village, partly due to the fact that it is flanked by three wealthy villages, one of which served as home to a couple of remarkably wealthy gay men and their patronage has helped the district grow. Both of those men are gone now. Nevertheless, their investments had turned the village's entertainment district into the best in the Land of Water, so much so that some people from other lands actually go out of their way just to visit. Now, the clubs and bars span almost the entirety of the village, and since, as I said, the original benefactors were gay men, almost all establishments that blossomed there cater to people with such preferences."
Sakura stayed silent taking in as much info as her still-dazed mind could. "At the very edge of the village resides a landlord who has come into possession of a scroll that was unearthed by a group of miners at the foot of a nearby hill. Now, the spies we have in nearby Kiri have come to learn that it is a scroll made by none other than my granduncle, Senju Tobirama."
The junior kunoichi's eyes widened. The Godaime Hokage smiled, as her apprentice was finally beginning to understand the gravity of this mission. "Now, as you may very well know, my granduncle was very proud of his combat skills, and he had every right to be. He had incredible speed that even my grandfather, the God of Shinobi, could not match. He could break walls with a tap of his palm and was excellent in hand-to-hand combat. His sensory skills were unmatched, as were his seal knowledge and suiton techniques. He was also an unparalleled jutsu creator."
'Senju Tobirama—creator of some of the most powerful techniques known to the shinobi world and the greatest suiton-user ever to walk the five great countries… He was even greater than the most powerful mizukage—a fact most ninja from Kiri know but would openly deny as a matter of pride,' Sakura recalled from her history lessons back in the early years in the academy, 'He was known for his ability to use suiton techniques with no water source and executing even the most complex water techniques with a single hand seal. Many hypothesized that he merely executed the seals very swiftly, given his unrivaled agility, but many eyewitnesses disprove this theory.'
'And he's hot to boot!' added Inner Sakura, 'Seeing him and his brother in action during the war sent many kunoichi drooling, despite the two of them being essentially zombies. He was allegedly a bit of a player and was said to be the most hung ninja of his generation, packing a very thick twelve-inch—'
'Stop right there!' the outer self interjected despite a blush that blossomed upon her cheeks, 'You should show a bit more respect! He was a hokage, for goodness sake! More importantly, he's dead! Stop fantasizing about a dead guy! That's kind of creepy.'
'Oh, stop acting like such a prude,' the imaginary being shot back, 'Hot is hot. There's nothing wrong with appreciating manly beauty. You have to admit, the Senju clan's gene pool is utterly devastating. No wonder Tsunade-sama looks the way she does.'
'Okay, okay, just shut up,' the rose-haired kunoichi sighed, defeated. She swore, her inner self sounded like Ino just now.
"Naturally, Mei immediately sent some of her best ninja over to open the scroll and peruse the contents," the slug-nin continued, pulling her apprentice back into the real world, "Lord Hisoka, however, saw it as an opportunity to further increase his wealth and demanded that he be paid first before he allowed anyone to look at the scroll."
"So we don't know what the scroll contains…"
Tsunade smirked. "Correction: they don't. I do," she said smugly, "I also know that pure Senju blood is required to open the seal."
The rose-haired kunoichi leaned forward, interest pouring from her very pores.
"That scroll contains information on single-hand-seal jutsu execution. Apparently, the latter can be applied to jutsu as a whole. It also contains his notes on the techniques he created, and, most importantly, techniques on minimizing chakra expenditure to the point that even S-rank skills become accessible to a ninja with the chakra stores of a genin." Sakura's eyes widened at the implications of this. "How the hell such an important scroll managed to find itself buried there, I don't know. What I do know is that it is very important that we retrieve it; hence, the mission rank. Any hidden village that gets its hands on that scroll would be nearly unstoppable, even if its ninja don't master everything in the scroll." The junior could only nod.
"Now, how does Kiba playing the role of a prostitute fit into all of this, I'm sure you're wondering?" Tsunade rolled on, "Well, the landowner, known simply as Lord Hisoka, happens to have a seventeen-year-old daughter who, put quite bluntly, is a slut. She is named Miyako. Lord Hisoka is rather doting of this daughter of his as she is an only child."
"She must be aware of where the scroll hidden, or even if she doesn't, then she might know someone who does," deduced the pinkette.
"Perhaps," the blonde replied, "Our intel does indicate that she's somewhat nosy. What we are sure of is that she will be celebrating her eighteenth birthday in a little over a week. On that day, she will meet up with her father for a little ceremony that their family has been performing without fail for the past few centuries. Allegedly, this ceremony will take place at or near the site where the scroll is being kept, likely in his manor or somewhere nearby. Despite his vast wealth, Lord Hisoka is somewhat frugal, and doing this would minimize his expenditure on guards."
The older woman looked at her apprentice, making sure that she was following. She continued.
"Now, Miyako is a regular customer of the largest and most successful bar for women and male homosexuals in the area, called The Three Kings. Now, it certainly doesn't have just three 'entertainers.' It was named such because out of all the performers, there are three 'kings' selected from among them, with the rest being called 'princes.' They are chosen and ranked based on their… 'assets and skills' into the 'Platinum King,' the 'Golden King,' and the 'Silver King,' in descending order."
Sakura was unable to keep herself from rolling her eyes at the preposterousness of that last part.
"Furthermore, these 'kings' are the most expensive ones to 'procure' for their 'services.' The landowner's daughter regularly shuffles between the three current 'kings,' of course, most frequently with the Platinum and Golden Kings. She plans to hire the Platinum King to 'accompany' her during her birthday, from midnight to midnight."
"So… we have to send someone who could become Platinum King, and the moment she hires him, he gets information from her."
"Correct, dearest apprentice," Tsunade said with a small smile. She took a tiny notebook from one of the drawers and threw it at Sakura. The pinkette caught it without difficulty and began to read the notes scrawled on it.
Sano, the Silver King
Age: 28
Height: 6'
Weight: 155 lb
Eyes: bluish green
Hair: brown
Penis (length x girth): 9" x 5.875"
Kai, the Golden King
Age: 22
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 179 lb
Eyes: blue
Hair: black
Penis (length x girth): 10.5" x 7.875"
Kyosuke, the Platinum King
Age: 23
Height: 6'2.5"
Weight: 197 lb
Eyes: green
Hair: blond
Penis (length x girth): 11" x 8.25"
Inner Sakura's initial reaction was a profuse nosebleed that left her more incapacitated than the bird on the emerald-eyed kunoichi's lap. The outer form merely cleared her throat, blushing furiously as she handed the notebook back to the smirking blonde. She sat straighter in her seat, attempting to look unaffected. However, inside her head, she thought, 'Holy kami! Where the hell did they find these… these… monsters!?'
Tsunade read right through her, though, making the kunoichi wonder once more if the Sannin had a mind-reading jutsu. "I know. It would be hard to focus on the task at hand once those things begin to wag in front of you. Any woman would, even if they were taken," said the slug-nin, earning a flabbergasted look from Sakura, "but I am certain that you will not let me down." The junior kunoichi composed herself and nodded at the village leader.
"Now, as far as 'assets' are concerned, there are only two candidates for this mission," Tsunade told her student. She produced another small notebook and threw it at the younger ninja. Sakura caught it deftly and began to examine the contents.
Inuzuka Kiba
Age: 21
Height: 6'
Weight: 184 lb
Eyes: black
Hair: brown
Penis (length x girth): 13" x 9.75"
Uzumaki Naruto
Age: 20
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 174 lb
Eyes: blue
Hair: blond
Penis (length x girth): 12" x 9"
Uchiha Jūgo
Age: 22
Height: 6'8"
Weight: 228 lb
Eyes: brown
Hair: orange
Penis (length x girth): 10.5" x 7.75"
Aburame Shino
Age: 21
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 179 lb
Eyes: bluish gray
Hair: black
Penis (length x girth): 10" x 6.75"
Hatake Kakashi
Age: 31
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 149 lb
Eyes: black, OD; red, OS
Hair: silver
Penis (length x girth): 9" x …
Sakura shut the notebook quickly as she read the fifth entry. She didn't mind reading the other entries, she was a medical-nin who had done countless physical examinations after all, but Kakashi—she held too much respect for the man to learn about his "package." She didn't want to lust after a brother figure. It was just… wrong. 'Damn it! I didn't close it quickly enough!' she whined, as she had read the first part, 'Now I'll never be able to hold back a blush when Kakashi-san's around! I hope he's not with the Godaime Mizukage when that happens or she just might melt me with either a yōton or a futton!'
"So you see, Naruto is also a fit candidate," Tsunade told the red-faced medical-nin, "but I'm afraid he is too similar to the Platinum King in terms of physical attributes, so even if Naruto does become Platinum King, there's a chance, however small, that Miyako would choose this Kyosuke fellow out of sheer familiarity and the fact that they look similar anyway. I can't have that." Sakura nodded her concurrence.
"Aside from penile dimensions, I also based my decision on another factor: chakra nature. I'm sure you know of the five natures: lightning, earth, water, fire and wind, and how the one is best used against the one immediately following it." Tsunade stood up and began to pace, gesturing as she explained. "Kiba, aside from being one of the most agile and physically powerful of the Konoha ninja, is also a doton specialist—the best nature to use against water-type techniques. Of course, you didn't assume that the actual act of securing the scroll would be without difficulty, correct? I'm a-hundred-and-one percent certain that it would be heavily guarded. Being in the Land of Water, suiton techniques would most probably be the ones you would encounter."
"Of course."
"Aside from specializing in doton jutsu, Kiba also studied in two other natures: wind and fire. This setup has allowed him to be able to fight and win against almost any opponent type—speed-type, strength-type, and jutsu specialists of any nature, kekkei genkai excluded, of course. Naruto has actually adapted this pattern from Kiba and has studied earth and water jutsu aside from his original nature, which, as you know, is wind."
The emerald-eyed kunoichi was surprised at this information. She knew that Kiba had worked fucking hard to get stronger, particularly after everyone kind of brushed off his declaration that he'd become hokage back in the war five years ago. He trained until he practically drained his chakra pool, and then went going from that point, slowly but surely expanding it. He now boasted levels on par with a jinchuuriki. She never knew, however, that he was already proficient in three chakra natures, and that he selected these natures strategically to cover for every opponent possible. She was thoroughly impressed.
"As for my last reason for choosing Kiba," Tsunade said, "his clan possesses certain… skills that would help make the mission proceed as smoothly as possible. One of them is the ability to stay sterile by sheer will without the use of any special jutsu; as such, among the potential candidates, he has the lowest probability of getting anybody pregnant. He will have to have sex with a lot of people during the course of this mission, after all. I will not elucidate further regarding the other skill."
When Sakura heard this, something welled up inside of her, but she had not time to ponder on it, as the hokage continued speaking. "Anyway, now that Kiba's role is clear, let's talk about yours." Tsunade took her seat once more and wove her hands together in front of her. "You will play as his lover-slash-manager. Given that setup, I suppose you have already figured out this character's values, or lack thereof."
"Yes, shishō," the pinkette answered. 'A woman who basically markets her man, eh? That would mean that the relationship is rather shallow and based solely on physical attraction. My character would be with Kiba's probably just for the awesome sex and/or potential profit from marketing him. Kiba's character would probably be with mine just for my physical attributes and because he's not too smart and needs me to manage everything for him. My character should be flirty and dressed loudly, but not overly slutty as she would not like Kiba's character, her source of profits, to leave her,' Sakura planned out in her head.
Tsunade observed as her apprentice began spacing out, setting up everything in her head. 'Konoha's damn lucky to have this young woman's magnificent brain on its side,' she thought, a small smile gracing her beautiful face. She cleared her throat to deliver the last part of the briefing. Sakura's ears quickly picked it up and halted the well-oiled mechanism in her head for a moment. "You are to use a transformation technique to change your hair color, Sakura, as it stands out too much, not to mention the fact that you're known across the land for it. Kiba himself will have to use one as well to hide his well-known tattoos."
"Of course."
"Given the extreme importance of this mission, I simply can't have your transformation technique getting dispelled and exposing yourselves; hence, I will teach you my special transformation technique." Haruno Sakura's jaw dropped again; the hokage ignored it. "Now, this is a technique that does not require concentration to maintain, just a constant chakra supply," continued the Sannin, "Think of it as donning a mask that continuously draws tiny amounts of chakra. It will not be dispelled if you sleep, take a blow or even lose consciousness. The only way to have this transformation technique dispelled is to be absolutely drained of chakra, and when the caster dispels it him- or herself, of course."
"That's incredible!" burst out Sakura, unable to contain her mirth.
"Of course it is. I made it," said Tsunade, rolling her eyes, "Now go ahead and wake up your man so that we can practice the jutsu immediately." The slug-nin stood up and began to walk towards the exit.
"Oh, shishō," Sakura began.
"Hmm?"
"When do we leave?"
"Ah, yes," Tsunade replied, turning around to face her apprentice, "I regret to tell you that you and Kiba must leave immediately—this afternoon, if possible. Thankfully, Lord Hisoka has been too busy making the preparations for his daughter's upcoming birthday. He was planning to hold a meeting with interested parties for the scroll but he has decided to postpone it for the time being. Our spies in other hidden villages suggest that only Kiri has been informed as of yet, which is excellent, as you will not face as much danger. Sources estimate that the auction will be held in about a couple of weeks. I'm sorry. I know you have plans for the Uchiha's birthday…"
'I knew it.' Sakura sighed. 'I suppose I'll have to leave the task of cheering Sasuke up to Ino and Naruto,' she thought.
"One of our spies will contact you shortly after you arrive," the blonde Sannin imparted. "Curiously, the spy refused to reveal his or her identity, but only informed that you two must be vigilant as he or she will attempt to contact you with very subtle means. Must be one of our more senior colleagues."
Sakura looked up to find that Tsunade had exited her office. She left the unconscious bird at the hokage's desk and shuffled over to wake Kiba, for they had work to do.

"Darn! Never knew Tsunade-sama was such a slave-driver!"
"Oh, shut it, Kiba!" scoffed the pinkette as she and Kiba exited Hokage Tower, "If you had only removed your eyes from shishō's breasts then you would've gotten it a lot faster!"
"What!?" the dog-nin shouted, "That's ridiculous, babe! Not to be discriminating, but the woman's sixty. That's just…" Kiba shuddered.
"Oh don't you deny it, dog-boy," the kunoichi forced, "I saw you. Besides, Tsunade-shishō looks like she's in her late twenties."
The tall ninja continued to blather some more, but after some time, he eventually said, "Okay, okay, so I looked a few times. That's it! It's hard not to when they're so damn huge and so in-your-face like that! And I'm a guy so—"
"Never!" exclaimed Sakura, surprising the dog-nin and effectively cutting him off, "Don't you ever use your freaking Y chromosome as an excuse!"
"Why are you so angry all of a sudden?" inquired Kiba, baffled at the kunoichi's behavior. He had noticed the change in the young woman's aura sometime during their training with the busty hokage. 'No, there was something different about her even as she woke me up at the office. And during Tsunade-sama's lesson of sorts, she wasn't as focused as she usually is. What the hell happened? Did I do anything?' the handsome jōnin rambled internally.
"Why!?" the green-eyed beauty cried out, "Because everything just clicked in my head—refusing to go out on dates, jumping at this particular mission immediately, keeping yourself sterile even when you're with me and not even telling me about it—it all makes perfect sense! You're not serious about me, are you? Let me ask you now, am I just a fling!?"
"What!? Where'd— Of course I'm serious!" Kiba himself was becoming agitated as well.
The pink-haired kunoichi shook her head. "I should've known better. Once a man-whor—" Sakura's eyes widened and her hands clapped over her mouth. She looked at the raven-eyed ninja beside her. As she expected, it was twisted in anger. "Kiba, I'm so—"
"Kami, Sakura," snarled the dog-nin, "Do you think I'm the type who says 'I love you' without meaning it? Do you think I give them out like fucking pancakes? You think I'd just jump any girl without feeling anything? I know I've been far from celibate, but your recent 'dry spell' aside, you haven't exactly been a saint either." The tall jōnin turned around and began to walk in another direction. As the medical-nin was about to call out to him, he spun around, startling her. "And for the record, I was excited about the mission because it's an honor to be assigned an S-rank mission. It was not because I wanted an excuse to go fucking a bunch of people. I never knew you thought so low of me, Sakura." He turned around so that his back was towards her. "I'll meet you at the gate at three o'clock," he told the pinkette, his voice cold.
The infuriated dog-nin didn't allow Sakura to retaliate. He jumped to the nearest rooftop with unequaled speed and was gone in the blink of an eye. 'Now you've done it,' muttered Inner Sakura, 'What was up with your argument!? You're not making any sense! Weren't you worrying that he'd get you pregnant and you kept on checking your contraceptive seal!? Now you're angry that he keeps himself sterile? What the hell!?'
'I don't know, okay!?' Sakura found herself screaming in her head, 'I… I'm not sure, myself, so just drop it. Just… drop it.'
'I doubt that Kiba'll do the same, though,' countered Inner Sakura, 'You have to admit, that was a damn low blow.'
"I know," the pinkette muttered. She shook her head and wondered why, indeed, she exploded like that on Kiba. All she knew was that she had a lot of apologizing to do… and a very tough road ahead of her.

Author's Notes: Such is the irrationality of relationships, is it not? It's like a neverending paradox. Anyway, to make it logical for Tsunade to send Kiba on such an important mission, I had to make him really strong—stronger than what can be logically extrapolated from his present feats. I'll probably post a databook-like entry for all characters by the end of the fic.
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