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The Pillow Book of Mitarashi Anko	By : JigokuDayu Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 7998 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters. I'm not making any money off this.

Chapter List
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Is Orochimaru capable of love? I know there are things he loves -- knowledge, power, cunnilingus, gloating, and spooning. Yes, as strange as it is to say that, Orochimaru always liked to cuddle after sex. Even when he had to get back to his lab, he would take a few minutes to spoon me and put his arms around me. I definitely wouldn't consider it silly or weak on his part. It's just something he likes to do. Not as much as cunnilingus, though. He'd seize any opportunity to slide his tongue into my knickers.
I always wondered what expression he was making while holding my back to his chest. Maybe that's why he likes spooning, because he feels less vulnerable if his lover can't see his face? Still, I think some of it is the sense of possessing someone when holding them that way.
The times I asked him if he loved me, he would answer in the affirmative, just not with the exact words. Saying it is, I suspect, one of the few things he is afraid of. He does feel fear, regardless of what others might think. He simply hides it well. He fears weakness and failure to an immense degree. Whenever he acts like a spoiled child, that is when he is most frightened and struggling to contain it. Orochimaru is not scared of dying, though. He is merely scared of dying before he realises his ambition of knowing every jutsu.
In my reveries, he doesn't say he loves me, either. My conscience won't allow me to make him something he is not or put words in his mouth that he is incapable of saying. Orochimaru can say the word, 'love,' but not phrases like, 'I love you,' or 'I loved so-and-so.’

Love-making is best after a difficult time. When you've been upset, whether sad or angry or both, it makes sex all the more sweet and phrenetic. All the frustration dissolves into wild abandon.
That was the way it happened one night toward the end of our time together. Orochimaru had gone away on some S-Rank mission, or at least he said he did. I wanted to go with him more than anything. We hadn't spent an entire night apart since the start of our affair. Before that, he would go off a lot, but by then he would check in with me nightly, at the very least.
I was so worried about it. My gut was telling me something bad would happen, that he might not come back. It terrified me and I told him so. Still, Orochimaru was insistent that I stay behind. My begging and sobbing would not dissuade him.
It was only supposed to be five days at the most. I was on edge the whole time. No messages came. By the fifth day, I was sick to death with dread. I spent most of the time staring at the door, hoping he'd open it at any second. Each night, I slept on the couch, just in case he came back before sunrise.
Twelve days had passed before Orochimaru walked through that door again. It was about ten at night. I had been lying on the couch, quite restless and shivering. I leapt to my feet when I saw him. Half of me felt like screaming at him for leaving me alone so long. The other half felt like breaking down and crying. My throat constricted from the confusion, chuffing off my air and speech.
I took a step forward, having lost it. I was going to hit him. At no other time, even when he was doing truly evil things, did I want to hit him as much as I did then. My hands weren't co-operating, which was perhaps lucky for me. Instead, I focused my energy on trying to call him a heartless bastard for making me worry like that.
Before any sound could pass through the narrowed channel of my esophagus and out of my lips, he rushed to put his fingers to my mouth and silence me. He said nothing, rather he yanked me closer and started kissing me furiously.
Instantly, I kissed back with equal desperation. All the anguish was gone. In its stead was ravenous hunger. We needed it so much, we started pulling off each others' clothes while still kissing. Only the removal of our shirts and the periodic gasps for air broke the kisses.
He hitched my legs up around his waist once I was down to my underwear and carried me to the bedroom. We continued much the same till we were naked, at which point we tumbled onto the bed. Still, we did not speak. We didn't need to.
Our kisses heightened, or rather descended, into necking, licking, and biting. My teeth merely nibbled his skin, though Orochimaru dug his into me. It turned me on all the more. I clawed at his back and he sunk his nails into my hips.
His hands travelled down me, followed by his tongue. He ran his fingers through my pubic hair, teasingly. Before I knew it, he was spreading my labia apart and working my clit over with his tongue.
I moaned immediately, my back arching up off the bed. Once I had relaxed, he pulled my hips with him as he sat up, so that I was in a shoulder-stand. With my thighs around his neck, he took my clit between his teeth. Orochimaru bit down with moderate force as he rapidly flicked his tongue across my aching flesh. I was quivering at the sensation. His abilities were magnificent. I didn't want it to ever end.
It seemed as if I'd been coming for ages when he finally stopped. Without wasting a second, Orochimaru lowered my pelvis and slid his way inside me. He was holding onto the back of my thighs, forcing my knees into my chest. Each thrust of his hips forced the breath from my lungs.
After a few minutes, he flipped me over and pinned me to the headboard. I braced myself against the wall above it with my forearms as he took me from behind. Orochimaru held my wrists down and put his mouth on my neck. We remained speechless. There was only loud moaning and screaming from pleasure.
Orochimaru then turned me around and positioned me on top of him. He was still behind me. Leaning his back on the headboard, he moved my hips with his hands.
My fingers gripped the sheets with all their might. As I began to take over the movements, his hands crept up to my breasts. Within a few moments, we found ourselves both coming at the same time. I arched backward till my head was lying on his shoulder. His hot breath and sputtered groaning filled my ear.
"I won't leave you behind again," he whispered against my neck. Orochimaru eased himself down onto his pillow, dragging me with him. He rolled me onto my side so that I was nestled within his left arm, rather than lying on top of him. We rested like this, catching our breath and enjoying the afterglow.
It was so wonderful to be with him, in his bed, once more. I was smiling for the first time in weeks. With the tip of my index finger, I started to gently trace lines up and down his abdomen and circles around his navel.
"Are you trying to tickle me, Anko-chan?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I giggled. "No, I just wanted to touch your stomach." Satisfied with having done so, I laid my head on his chest. His heartbeat sounded in my ear. "What are you thinking about?"
Orochimaru stroked my hair and purred. "I was thinking that I don't want you to ever be with any other man. I should be the first and the last."
The thought of being with another man hadn't so much as crossed my mind, but I wasn’t quite sure why he was so emphatic about it. "You've been with other girls, though, right?" I replied softly, lest he think I objected.
"Yes, but those were more for the learning experience. Trial and error have helped me to develop my sexual techniques. As such, I automatically have a great talent for getting you off. You see, I'm a genius at sex, as well as ninjustu." Orochimaru tilted my head up to look me in the eye. He then smirked. "Besides, making love and merely having sex are two different things. Most of what I've done with others was the latter."
I almost giggled again at that, but something started to trouble me. "Do I need experience to be good at it for you?"
"I'll teach you whatever you need to know. All you really have to do is surrender completely to me and take my cock." His hand slid along my throat as he stared intently into my eyes.
Biting my lip, I asked, "Does letting you be in control make me weak? I know you don't like weakness."
He shook his head slightly. "You have the ability to get my cock hard. That's power enough."
"There's something else I want to ask you." I hesitated, trying to gather up enough nerve to go on. "How come you never say you love me?"
His eyes darted to the side as he grimaced. "That's how I am. If my actions don't convince you of my feelings for you, what can words do? You'll have to take me as I am, Anko-chan. If you can't, maybe it's really you who doesn't love me."
"No, I love you! I love you! And I don't hold it against you. I'm grateful for whatever you give me of yourself. It was rude of me to ask. I was just curious. And for that, I'm sorry." I turned my face away, afraid to see disapproval in his eyes.
"Don't apologise, my dear." Orochimaru took hold of my chin and turned my head back to look at him. "You've pleased me with your actions and your words. We both accept each other as we are and that's what I want. Most women aren't so understanding. They want to change men, more so if the man is me. As if that's love, to think someone's not good enough. People can only change themselves, and most can't even manage that."
"Did you ever care for someone before me?" The question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop to consider it might be out of line.
"There was one person. But she betrayed me. She chose to be with someone else. Someone unworthy." He frowned, his gaze dropping from mine.
"What happened?" I had an inkling as to the identity of the woman in question.
"I don't want to talk about that. I've said too much already. It's made me weak." Orochimaru closed his eyes. "Give me my strength back. Make me feel powerful again." He let his head fall back on the pillow as he sighed heavily.
I acted solely on instinct and crawled down to the foot of the bed. I began to kiss his feet, lightly grazing his toes with my lips. Tears started to trickle down my face. My heart bled for him. The sense of sadness in his voice pained me so desperately. My sensei, my beloved master had been wronged. I had to make it better for him.
Continuing upwards, I planted a few soft kisses on his calves, his knees, and his thighs. Finally, I took him inside my mouth. Unlike every other time I've sucked him off, I felt that I was doing something to heal him, rather than simply please him. I was still passionate and eager about it, but it transcended the mere sex act. Something about it felt tender and almost spiritual.
Orochimaru relaxed and simply enjoyed it for a few minutes. Once he was really throbbing in my mouth, he seized my head. He was pulling my hair as his hips began to move. Subtle undulations grew into rough thrusts. "Close your eyes," he moaned.
I obeyed. A second later, I felt him remove his cock from my mouth in time for it to explode in my face. His semen mingled with my tears and made me feel beautiful. As I opened my eyes again, I saw his hands slide closer. He went about lightly rubbing his come over my skin as if he were painting a canvas with his fingers. He was still panting as he gazed at me.
I don't think I've ever been more turned on. I thought I might come just from that. My voice acted of its own accord, emerging from my lips as high, airy whimpering. "I love you!" I suddenly proclaimed. "I love you, my sensei... My master!"
He then rolled me over onto my back. His hand moved down and eased my thighs apart, where he found the wet folds of my flesh. The base of his thumb was stroking my clit as he worked two fingers inside of me.
It was maybe thirty seconds at the absolute most before I climaxed. I guess I was still so excited about his come all over me that it didn't take much to get me there. I felt like I could barely move after.
He must have felt the same way, as he lay there beside me for the longest time, just breathing.
It was possibly the most incredible night of my life. If I were going to write the perfect sex scene for some adults-only film, that would be it. We were so animalistic, yet somehow loving. If at no other time was he in love with me, he was that night. I am convinced of it. Our mutual desire was overpowering.
Sensei, could you truly love me? Sometimes I wish I'd never met you, so I wouldn't have to hurt like this. But then I think about how you're the only good thing that's been in my life. Without you, there'd be nothing here. Only death. And I know that given the choice, I'd never give up any of our times together. It's only this life without you I want to be rid of.
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The Pillow Book of Mitarashi Anko