A new beginning | By : assassi Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1128 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This story is written for fun and no money is made from it. |
Izumo POV
“I was wondering when you’d come…” Bens’ knowing smirk met me when I finally accepted that I needed her help. I’d spend the three weeks after the fire slowly going crazy. The questions I had asked myself that night – were we ready for such a big step as adoption, was it even possible for us – had only began to pop in my head more and more often as I was getting to know Hajime better. “So did you guys talk? Or least tried and it didn’t work out so you came here today?” I blinked stupidly, then frowned. “Huh?” It was her turn to frown. “Didn’t you talk with Kotetsu?” “About… what?”, I asked suspiciously – I’d have to talk to him about Hajime, sure, but she wasn’t supposed to know that yet. “Oh. Oh, fuck.” Bens looked guilty, like she’d just spewed something she wasn’t supposed to tell me, but she quickly waved it off and grinned brightly. “Anyway. What did you want to talk about?” “Benihime,” she flinched, “What is going on here?”, I asked with deceitfully calm voice. She sighed. “Nothing, just… Ok, so, Kotetsu was here a few days ago and he was a bit frustrated, but instead of acting almightily like I always know everything, and like I’m always right, and like of course you came here today so we could discuss your relationship, I should have just let you guys talk it through…” “Wait, wait. Kotetsu was here, frustrated over something in our relationship?” She cursed quietly; then looked at me straight in the eyes. “Look, just go find him and talk to him…” That’s exactly what I intended to do! I stormed out of her office, fuming. He’d done it again! He hadn’t even told me, or shown me, that something was bothering him about us, this relationship we were in; he just never talked! TO ME! But sure, why not go whine to Bens instead!? I was the one concerned! ME! COME TALK TO ME WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG, IDIOT!.!.! I burst in ANBU’s room, saw him immediately of course(talking with Tsume about dogs), grabbed his hand and dragged him out. “What the hell…!? HEY!” He pulled back his arm, but I didn’t let go; we both knew that he could get free if he only wanted to put up a real fight – he just wasn’t that angry yet. Parading through the whole station, I finally reached Bens’ office again, burst back in, half-dragging and then half-pushing him in as well. Kotetsu bristled. “What the fuck is your problem?!”, he yelled. “MY problem?! What the hell is wrong with YOU that you can’t come to ME first when something in OUR relationship bothers you, but I find that out from the shrink instead!?” “Hey now…”, Bens muttered. Kotetsu glared at her, she blushed and didn’t dare rebelling more about being called “the shrink”. “I didn’t come to you first, you say? I didn’t?! I asked you! So many times and you always ignored and denied me…” “Is sex all you could think about!? I was TIRED, damn it, I couldn’t do it even if I were in the mood!” “It was not only about sex, and you know it! I made your favorite stew…!” “As a prelude to sex!” “FUCK YOU!” “Well, obviously not and that’s the whole problem for you!” “Wait, Izumo, I think I get what he means…”, Bens interjected, her eyes narrowed in Kotetsu’s direction; she spoke to him then. “For you, sex is a means… to get emotionally closer with the one you love. Expressing yourself by talking has always been hard for you, so that’s simply… your way. You use your body to tell the other, Izumo, that you love him and need him.” Kotetsu flushed and turned his back on us, staring through the window. I was dumbfounded, I admit. Such a thing… sounded so… Neanderthal …and so possibly like him… and yet… “Is that right, Kotetsu?”, I demanded. “Say it!” He flinched. His shoulders slumped. In moments like these, when he needed to make an emotional confession, you could see it most clearly, the fact that he’d been raised in Suna – he simply didn’t know how to handle certain emotions. “If it’d been just a… sexual release I was seeking… I could have damn well used my own hand.” “So Bens is right and you only needed to feel closer to me, emotionally?”, I heard the suspicion in my own voice but the whole idea still sounded so infantile… Kotetsu shrugged a little, still refusing to turn around. “After the anniversary fail… you were so cold…” “I was TIRED! I TOLD you!”, I was beginning to get exasperated again. He shrugged again. “I thought that was your way of telling me you didn’t want to…. Didn’t want me. Anymore.” I sighed in frustration. “Look at me,” I said. It took him a second, but he did turn around. I stepped closer then and lifted up my hands, my palms resting on his cheeks. “I forgave you for the anniversary on that very same night. Sure I was mad, and you did screw up, but it’s in the past now.” I held back a lopsided smirk at how familiar those last words sounded; only it was usually him who said them. “About the other thing… It wasn’t like I didn’t want to; I promise you. I just physically couldn’t, understand it! I told you about the training days – did you even hear me?” He flushed again, making it obvious he hadn’t. I smiled, expecting it – he tended to not hear things when he was frustrated. “But the training is over now, and you haven’t been asking recently and you were acting cold, as if I’d offended you by denying you and I didn’t bring the matter up.” “I thought…”, he began. I put a finger over his lips. “I know. And it’s not true. Listen to me now and remember it – I want you. Always. Even when I can’t.” He was blushing and looking at the floor now, like he usually did when confessions became involved. I smiled again, feeling lighter than I had felt in weeks. “Are we okay now?” He nodded, still looking down. “Let’s go home then.” I looked up just in time to see Bens grinning like a loon. Or should I say, like a fan girl. We should have seen it coming – with so many gay couples on her head… “Do not squeal!”, I warned her. She just nodded dutifully, not being able to make any other sound at the moment. * “Do you remember our first time… My first time…?”, his lips ghosted around my ear; we’d just gotten back home and he had me pinned to the wall of the hallway. And how could I ever forget it? His first time on the bottom… We’d agreed that when the time comes, he’d just tell me that he’s ready; surprises and sudden attacks were not welcomed, understandably. And then one day I’d gotten back home from work; it had been a Monday. There were candles lit in the hallway… more of them leading to the bedroom… the whole bedroom itself was glowing with their soft light. He had been laying in the middle of the bed, seductively sprawled – his hands gripped the pillow on both sides of his head, not with fear but rather suggestively; his legs were slightly parted but a cream colored satin sheet covered his groin. He always said that my six pack turned him on the most, but his was not any less mouth watering. And his toned abs were glistening on the soft light, his nipples were hard, his lips were parted… He’d said only one thing. “I’m ready.” Kami, I still have wet dreams about that night. Contrary to what I had feared could happen, he wasn’t pushing himself. He only demanded two things: that I go in slowly and that he could see my face all the time. And then we’d taken the time to prepare him – nice and slow and gently. He’d moaned and looked at me the whole time… even as I’d entered him; slowly, watching his face for any signs of pain. His eyes had fluttered closed a few times, but he’d fought to open them again and just look at me. And I was talking to him, whispering calming little nothings, telling him how brave he was, how strong and amazing and hot and tight and everything I’d ever wanted… He’d smiled, telling me I was a fool, and that I should move already. And then it had been all slick, gentle movement and clenching and soft moans and gripping hands… at some point it had turned into rasps, grunts and small, muffled cries and long scratches on my back and even my ass… The look on his face… his ever changing expressions, showing his emotions he just couldn’t hold back and didn’t even try, because it was me who was causing them, me, who he showed and gave everything… his mouth, hanging open… his eyes, sometimes losing the battle to stay open… his eyebrows, with their inner sides lifted up in a desperate expression… The way his eyes had opened wide, comically, and he had cried out, shouted in shock when I’d first hit his prostrate… His fingernails leaving deep, bloody cuts in my shoulder blades as he cried, yelled and clenched even tighter and came in my hand, pulling me, so hard, along…. Oh, yes, I remember it all. But most of all, I remember the way I’d collapsed on top of him, boneless, and just listened to his shaky, stuttering breaths. Once again, like so many other times at other occasions, we hadn’t needed words to express how amazing it had been. Or that it would happen again. We’d just known all that. Much later I’d asked him what had made him decide that we do it, that way, on Monday. He’d smirked and told me he’d known I’d be good when I do it properly, and he’d wanted to have at least one nice association with Mondays. Shaking off the memories now (and wondering what had brought them up) I nodded, whispering in his lips. “Of course I remember.” He slowly moved back, took my hand and silently led me to our bedroom. Then he just laid in the middle of the bed, like that time, and parted his clothed legs slightly; suggestively. Oh. I mean… Sure we switched the roles and he let me top often enough, but now it had been some time since we’d last done it, at all, and I knew that when that happened he liked to be on top when the dry period was over. I was surprised… but I wouldn’t let the opportunity slip away. Crawling on the bed between his legs, I started tugging off his shirt, feeling like a teenager again; he sat up a bit and started tugging at mine. It took us some time and struggling, but we were finally both naked above the waist. My fingers traced his pecks and abs, enjoying the sight and the feel of them clenching under my touch. “I love your skin”, I blurted out, feeling stupid for having said that. His skin was well-tanned, darker than mine, but not too much – just a nice, healthy color. His ANBU toned muscles never failed to turn me on; not only the sight of them, but the knowledge that he was strong enough to hold me and loved me enough to leave all that power, his power, himself, in my hands in moments like this. He smirked, but didn’t comment anything, just laid down, looking at me expectantly. I swallowed dryly and concentrated on removing his jeans. “How do you want it today?”, I asked. He usually liked it slow and gentle, but sometimes, after a long, nerve-wrecking mission, he demanded a bit more fast and rough sex, even if he was bottoming. “Slowly”, he said now, making me smile. We both knew I’d always give it to him the way he likes it, but I myself liked to make love to him just the way he now wanted me to. And then we were finally both naked and our movements followed pretty much the scenario from that first time, his first time. We followed the steps of preparation unhurriedly, stealing a kiss or a teasing lick of a nipple, a bite on the side of one’s neck. If nothing else, sex with Kotetsu had taught me about real foreplay; the time when your whole self is focused on pleasing the other, bringing him closer to the edge, but never quite over it, yet. I knew all his weak spots. He had very sensitive ears; he could come just from the feeling of a lick or even a whisper of a breath when he was close enough. He loved it when I bit at his Adam’s apple; kinky as he was about vampires, he loved it when I bit him anywhere, but his neck, wrists and hipbones were his favorites. „Zumo… come on already…” I smirked, kissing his pecks. “What was that?” He groaned. “…Please”, he whispered. “Hm? I can’t quite hear you.” He growled, grabbed my cock and shoved his hips down, hard. We both moaned, but his was closer to a whimper. “You said slowly…”, I muttered. “Not that slowly!”, he demanded with a low growl. I shook my head; demanding he was, both when he was on top, or on the bottom. An idea popped in my head but I held back another smirk and started moving slowly and gently inside him. I only had to remember my plan… only had to be careful… not get lost in his heat… “Mmmh…!” …and moans… “Yeah…hah-yeah!...” …encouragements… Hmm, I had worked hard to earn these, making him feel free enough to utter them, encouraging him to encourage… He’d been so shy in the beginning, assuming he had to be strong even in a moment like this, trying to hold back his cries, moans, pleads and small instructions… like… “A little to the left…” I pressed my face to his neck to hide my grin; he always assumed I was laughing at him while in fact I was just happy and found him incredibly cute in these moments. Of course he’d slap me hard enough to make me see stars if I ever called him “cute”. “Mmmm-yeah… deeper…” I looked up, inspecting his face for any minor traces of discomfort. Finding none, I finally allowed the smirk I’d been holding back and rolled us over till I was on the bottom and he was on top. He gave a startled cry, his hands gripping my biceps and his inner muscles tightening around my throbbing cock. He blinked above me, still shocked. I raised an eyebrow, challenging him. His eyes narrowed, his lips thinned in annoyance, but his burning cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. He huffed… and then raised his hips, his face showing concentration as he began riding me. His cock bobbed, slapping my stomach and then his, as Kotetsu moved above me. I remembered he disliked that particular thing and grabbed his member, stroking it, bringing him closer to completion. I knew I was close, myself. The sight alone, of him, moving unabashedly above me, impaling himself on me, enjoying himself… Certain locks of his hair were stuck, dampened, on his forehead; the rest of his wild hair swayed as his head rolled back, exposing his neck, and then lolled to the side as if Kotetsu were a marionette with its threats cut and ready to fly. “I-…Izu… Zu…!”, he muttered urgently, face overcome with passion, showing he was close, so close… I knew what he needed, what he pled for. I thrust upwards, hard, nailing his prostate. He wailed, arching backwards, clenching around me, making me see stars as we came together… My foggy mind registered the moment he collapsed on top of me; my ears noted his erratic breathing, in the hollow of my neck; his heart beat wildly right next to my own. My arms seemed to weigh a ton as I lifted them to embrace him, enjoying the quick lifting of his ribcage and the moving of the muscles on his back. When our breaths evened I slipped out carefully (he bit back a hiss) and gathered him in my arms; he rubbed his face to my chest and I felt he was getting ready to fall asleep. My body was tired, but my mind was still wide awake, drifting… “I wonder how parents do it when their kid sleeps a few rooms away…?”, I muttered to myself. “…Huh?!”, Kotetsu muttered, not that sleepy as I’d assumed. Oh. Oh, shit! I tensed. “I-I mean…h-haven’t you ever wondered how it would be… if we had a child?” “Eer… no? Cuz we kinda have no chance of accidentally making a baby?” I swallowed dryly, closed my eyes, gathered some courage… “H-How about… adoption?” Pause. Then, a very serious “What?” I gulped. “Haven’t you at least… considered it?” “No”, he said firmly. Okay, Izumo, you got that far, just go ahead… “And… would you? Now? With… me?” “No.” Something stabbed me in the heart. Hard. “I see.” I stood up and started gathering my clothes. I’d been so stupid; believing we were moving on, making progress, finally having something real, with equal rights, passion and deeper feelings, something strong and able to endure and proceed... further. I stupidly assumed that if he allowed me inside him, and made it look like he really enjoyed it and had freed himself of memories and past, he had… what? Forgotten and forgiven said memories; said past? Ha! A family? What a stupid dream! Stupid, stupid! A was still his violator; even after those years, living together, sleeping together. Even now. Of course he’d never want to raise a child with the man who’d done such an unspeakable thing to him! “Where are you going?”, he asked, alarmed. Or maybe I just wanted to believe that he was alarmed; that he gave a damn. “I don’t know… somewhere. I need some time.” “Izumo….!” I shut the door behind me.While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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