Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Thus you shall go to the stars	By : drakoniss Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Naruto Views: 3619 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and make no money on the fiction I write.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Since the day he’d lost his eyesight, Naruto’s dreams had been in color; hues vivid and intense; more textured,- one shade bleeding languidly into another until they made an entirely new color palette.

When the dreams came about he felt to be inside somebody’s fantastic painting. A resting state of conscious mind where he had not succumbed to sleep completely, yet had not been awake, either.

They did not come to him often; not like during his seeing days, -when he could dream of something every night, and then promptly forget about it come morning. He assumed there had to be some secret meaning to it – but never could find the time to analyze it. These days, Naruto had been an exceptionally – busy man.

He found himself walking across the endless field, blades of pea-green grass flexing under the frequent gusts of warm wind. The air appeared to have a thicker quality to it; Naruto almost never felt that secure than while walking through the balmy goodness continuously enveloped in a gooey, sweet element.

Weeping maples had been spread around the field without any particular order, droopy branches thrashed around by the wind. Shikamaru waited for him on the grass underneath the crimson crown with a ball of yarn in his hands, and the sight of him took Naruto’s breath away. He looked like he belonged here – in this passageway between two worlds made entirely of peace and tranquility, for which Naruto’s own universe had no place for.

‘What is that thing?’

He asked, looking at Shikamaru’s figure underneath the red maple. He noticed two different treads that the ball of yarn had been made off – red, and black; there must have been a reason for that, Naruto decided; yet he could not, for the life of him, figure out what.

“Your life.” Shikamaru emitted with just a touch of melancholy. ” And mine.”

“Which one is yours?’

“The black one.” He clarified, and ordered: “Pull.’

For a while, Naruto remained silent. His biggest trouble had always been this inability to deny Shikamaru a single thing, - and look where it got them already; He frowned; found the end of black tread, worrying the fuzzy thing between his fingers. It felt scratchy and soft at the same time, and began to unravel in his hands until he was left a short length of it – too short for Naruto’s liking. Too… alone now, separated from the rest of the ball. It filled his palm with a lightweight softness, and he had to close his fingers over it not to let it be blown away by the wind.

‘What does it mean?’ He asked, again. “You have to explain these things to me… “

“It means that you can’t change the future no matter how much you would want to, sometimes. It means that I love you; I never stopped loving you; and I never will; and that I will see you – soon;

“Don’t leave me.”

Naruto begged, only to find himself standing alone in the middle of the emerald field, black thread long forgotten in his hands. Colors around him began to thicken, and bruised clouds appeared on the horizon with a promise of rain; it was now time for him to return.

“Naruto. You little shit. You’ve set me up.’

Was all he heard before Shikamaru ‘s weight – much lighter than he remembered, ended up over him – the front of his parka stretched tight when Shikamaru grabbed a handful of it and lifted him off the wooden bench. The boat craned to the side threatening to tip over; Naruto really, really did not want to haul his ass out of freezing water, but stayed quiet under the assault, taking it for what it was worth. He could have easily shaken him off like an angry kitten, blind and whatnot; made Shikamaru stay put until he took control of his emotions; but he felt Shikamaru needed to vent them more than Naruto required not to be roughened up at the moment;

“What did you want me to do huh? It was the only way I could get you to come with me!” He wheezed, when icy fingers wrapped around his throat in a choking hold.

‘It was the only way, Shikamaru, don’t you understand? The only way!”

In the middle of their one sided struggle, Shikamaru suddenly deflated, and with pitiful moan sagged in Naruto’s arms. Naruto stroked his heaving back while the coughing lasted, and refrained from speaking for the time being. The prickly sting across his chilled cheeks and forehead was telling him that it started to snow, with that signaling the nearing end of their journey on water.

“How could you, Naruto? ” Shikamaru rasped, afterwards, boneless in Naruto’s embrace – oddly docile. “ How could you? Your eyes… for me? Why?”

“Because I love you; because I never stopped loving you; and I never will;”

Naruto explained, patiently, as if talking to a small child, overjoyed with possibility that Shikamaru might let him continue to hold him now for as long Naruto wanted.

“But you are …blind because of me…”

“And you are sick because of me. So now we are even.”

“I never wanted us to be even. “

“I know, baby. But life, sometimes, has a funny way of turning things around. Are you gonna try to choke me again?”

“No.” Shikamaru sobbed and sniffled into Naruto’s chest, and seemed to still for several seconds.” I think I’ve over exceeded all of my energy resources.”

“You’ve even made a dent in mine, it seems.”

“How did you know? I have not told anyone that I was sick – only Chouji. But he kept quiet, or you would have discharged me from active duty a long time ago…”

“It’s funny, how you think of me as dumb. I mean – I might be not as smart as you, but I’ve been able to run the village for, I don’t know – past eight years?”

“ I am – very proud of you. I never thought of you as dumb.”

“You did not think I would notice you suddenly loosing weight, coughing, the fatigue – the blood in your spit? That I would not do everything in my power to find out what’s going on with you? It’s not like I ever stopped stalking you in the first place.”

He confessed, as an afterthought, voice softening when Shikamaru slid his hands inside the parka, to wrap them around Naruto’s midsection that emitted heat like the bread oven.

The boat drifted for a while without direction or anybody to point it in one; water splashing against the sides with a soft, lulling sound, filling Naruto with a sense of well being; if he could only stay like this forever – drifting to his destination with Shikamaru in his arms, just the two of them against the world – everything he ever wanted, really. They would be all aright; throughout the eternity, together - and it would be enough;

“It’s just a folk tale, you know. Portal between the worlds that can cure the worst of the maladies… or make your most scared wish come true… there is no proof that it actually exists…”

Shikamaru mumbled into his chest, sleepily, before Naruto felt him succumb to the exhaustion of a day’s long travel without a nap break, using his body as a pillow. He was glad to be of service for as long as Shikamaru needed it; if he just kept on breathing;

“It exists.” Naruto insisted, needing to believe in that mantra right now even more than Shikamaru himself. “It exists.”

He was walking through a long corridor filled with smoke that obscured his vision almost completely. Breathing became difficult a long time ago, and he tried not to concentrate on it. He would come out to be all right – he always did; for a reason unknown, Kyuubi had always been able to protect him.

The acrid smell of gas filed his nose and lungs and fogged his mind; it had been thick and foul; Naruto realized he began choking on it, feeling disoriented and weak.

“What did you get yourself into this time, boy?”

Kyuubi’s unhappy grumble sliced through the fog in his brain like a razor sharp kunai bringing things into focus again; making it easier to breathe and see.

“None of your business.”

He replied, trying to gather his wits together. A big fucking mess, is what.

“It’s always my business when you try to kill yourself one way or another.”

‘ Why not let me die, than? You’d be free.”

“Does not work that way, stupid boy.” Kyuubi decided to humor him with a conversation. “ You should know it by now.”

“Then stop yammering and help me.”

“Not so easy.’ Fox admitted, albeit reluctantly. “ Your body is weakened by the fumes; you can’t walk on your own; I can protect your lungs from damage for a while longer, but I can’t carry your ass out of here;

He had been on the ground probably for some time now – to weak to stand up; unable to see anything through the veil of smoke suspended over and all around him, feeling the last of his consciousness seep out slowly of his sluggish brain.

“Naruto.” Shikamaru voice, close, yet so far away, made him get an instant grip on the reality. “You need to help me; I can’t -see anything; ask Nine Tails how to find the exit; ask him to guide us out of here;

“You came back.”

Naruto let out a long sigh. Had it all been a dream – their fight last night? The shouting and accusations, and finally – the final sound of a closing door that left a hole in Naruto’s heart the size of Konoha? It must have been; or Shikamaru would not have been back for him here today.

“Somebody had to.”

“You idiot. This gas is dangerous.”

Naruto wanted to scream at him for this foolishness, but he needed his vocal cords to work to get them out of here.

“I know.” Naruto felt the strain with which Shikamaru had lifted his weight off of the ground –he had at least forty pounds over the guy, – and wanted to make it easier for him; but there just had not been a way that he could. “Ask, Naruto.”

‘

“It’s nothing that you have done; not consciously, at least. On the contrary – you’ve done all you could to make me happy.”

“Then – what? I don’t understand.”

“ I am tired of existing alongside Sasuke’s ghost. You … talk about him – saving him, or whatever, relentlessly. It’s that stupid picture on your desk; the shouting in your sleep; that look in your eyes when the subject comes up…”

” I was not aware that I’ve been doing any of that; not for the reason that you think… I can watch myself closer…I can try…”

“Oh Naruto…” Shikamaru sighed, face drawn and determined in a way that screamed that the final decision has been made. “I know you weren’t’ aware; and I don’t want you to try anything on my behalf; I am all or nothing kind of guy– but I knew what I was getting into from the beginning. It’s nobody’s fault… but my own.”

“You are wrong. “The only person I ever loved is you.”

Naruto pleaded in a quiet voice searching for the right thing to say. He was never good with words, or long explanations; actions usually spoke for him instead of words loud enough. He never felt he needed to learn the skill. By the set look of Shikamaru’s face, he knew that changing his mind would be tantamount to Sasuke coming back to Konoha and asking forgiveness for all the bad he had done. No matter what Naruto would say – if he found anything to say at all – it would not have made any difference right now.

“ Why am I not enough for you, then?” Shikamaru managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice to the point where his question sounded almost lighthearted. “I am sorry Naruto… but this is a good bye...”

“Naruto.’

“What?’

“I am tired.”

“I know. I am tired, too. We have just a day left to go – we are almost there.”

“We have to rest a bit; I know it’s not what you want to hear right now, but there is no way I am making there alive if we keep on walking. There is a cave up ahead – I’ve looked inside, and it’s decent enough to sleep in. Let’s rest until tomorrow, and then we can start walking again.”

Naruto frowned, dead tired and weary; even more reluctant to accept Shikamaru’s suggestion. It felt wrong to stop right now, to loose the whole night of precious time; the time they did not have to begin with;

“We are really close, Shikamaru. Let’s just buck up and keep on walking. You can do it.”

“I can’t.”

Came a soft, barely audible admission, and Naruto’s knew they would not be going anywhere tonight.

“No?

“No.”

“I’ll carry you.”

“And then we both drop dead and freeze few miles away from here. You’ll never make it, Naruto. We have to stop.”

“Help me.”

“I did all I could.” Came a regretful reply from inside his head, knowing fox sounding like he truly meant it.” You over exhausted yourself, boy. I could probably give you an extra push to get there on your own – but not with his weight on your hands. “

“Please.”

“I would; really; I do owe you, you know… But… I can’t. Tomorrow, - we can do more; tonight – you need to sleep.”

“Fine.” Naruto relented, unwillingly, mind heavy and restless with his decision. “Let’s stop.”
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Thus you shall go to the stars