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What is and What Should Never Be	By : QueSeraSera Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1107 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Therapy
- 2-Confusion
- 3-Twitch
- 4-Admittance
- 5-Want
- 6-weakness
- 3
- 4
- 5
Chapter 4

When the
two arrived at the waystation, it was already
evening. The station itself was just a little bit bigger than Naruto had
expected, having supplies in a storage room/kitchen that took up the entire
back end of the cabin, and a full bathroom outhouse, including a bathtub (it
must have been big enough to comfortably fit at least ten people) and working
plumbing. Behind the storage room, an immense-looking cliff-face sat
guardian-like over the cabin, all sorts of vines and flowers growing from its
nooks and crannies. A waterfall could be heard nearby, to complete the idyllic
and majestic setting. Tsunade had been right; this
was a nice place to have a sort of paid vacation.
Rather than
gape and say �wow!� dumbly every few seconds, as Naruto opted to do, Neji
proceeded calmly into the cabin and began to settle for the night.
�Hey� I�m
going to go explore a bit,� he shouted in the general direction of the cabin,
his feet already carrying him in the direction of the waterfall. He got no
reply, so he took that as an �ok,� or a �hn,� or whatever Neji would say to that, and quickened his
pace. He had some tension to work off.
When he got
there, he said �wow!� again in the same amazed voice, but with a thick tone. He
tried his hardest not to think about why he had to do what he was about to do,
because that would only lead to guilt, and that was one thing he didn�t want to
think about just then. Not only would it ruin the mood, but what the hell did
he need guilt for, anyway? It was so� stupid.
He took a
nervous look around and, seeing no one, began to strip as he stood next to the
calm river water in view of the nearby waterfall. A gentle mist rushed over his
bare skin as he sat next to the water, giving him gooseflesh and making his
breath hitch. He closed his eyes, and spread his legs wider, his arousal already
hard to the point of pain. But ohh, that made it so
much nicer. And no, he shouldn�t think about the fact that the pain was good,
no, not that good, much too good for
his own good. He wouldn�t think about it. He refused. He bit his lip with one
of his canines, breaking the skin, and as he whimpered, his hand shot up to one
of his nipples, doing dirty things to it before it followed the drip of blood
from his lip down his abdomen, where the curse mark seemed to simply �purr. The blood dripped further down,
and he did all he could to stop himself from biting harder as he�finally�grasped his own cock in his hand
and pumped slowly, drawing the pain out longer and deigning not to slake it
just yet. He moaned breathily.
The
remembrance of Neji�s face above his as he awoke from the feeling of certain
oblivion got him pumping faster. The blood on his jacket, the feeling of
paralyzed helplessness as he choked in water� Sasuke saying, �The person I
really want to fight� is you.�
�Fuck,� he
whispered, and the slick sounds of his hand sliding up and down were all he
could hear while he staunchly refused to think about Sasuke, not while he was
doing this, not right now. He would think about� Sakura-chan? No, that didn�t do anything anymore� Iruka-sensei?
No, too much like family� He flipped through faces and images in his mental
codex and ding! came
up with a winner.
It had been
nearly a year ago. Naruto and Jiraiya had stopped in a small village outside of
Konoha, too busy to return home, even for just the
night, and uninterested in all the commotion it would stir up anyway. Jiraiya
had gone out for the night (big surprise there), and Naruto was left on his
own, it being too early for bed, and too late for dinner. He ended up wandering
around for a few hours, until he came upon a set of secluded natural hot springs. Thinking it
was a good opportunity, and almost giggling at his luck, his hands made for the
hem of his shirt, but then he spotted someone heading up towards him, towel in
hand. For some reason he felt like he was intruding, and for all he knew, he
might have been.
So he hid. Only natural, right? The thing was, the person dressed in a
robe with a hot springs
logo on it (so he was intruding, whoops), turned out to be Neji. Imagine his
surprise! But, just as he was about to get up and say hi and laugh and maybe
even get in with him to chat about stuff, he halted, holding his breath. Neji,
who always had his mask on, who was always serious and stoic and so god damn Hyuuga (Naruto thought this as an
insult, but maybe he really meant it more as regal than anything else), slipped off his robe with a heavy,
exhausted sigh. It fell to the ground and Naruto could almost see it puff out
and then fall to stillness in slow motion as Neji lowered himself into the
water. Naruto could remember his mouth being slightly agape. Neji was� good
looking, you know, for a guy. The sight of the Hyuuga, naked, if only for a
moment, was enough to make his face so red that it would make any tomato
jealous.
Of course,
Neji had sat and dozed for a while, his mask still off as he thought of his day
(Naruto imagined), as he frowned a little, and every once in a while gave a
small smile, as though thinking about something nice. Then he had left, and so
had Naruto, not long afterwards. He never brought it up to Pervy-sage,
who would probably have thought the wrong thing, and of course it would have been the wrong thing, because he didn�t
swing like that (he would have said), but he had never really forgotten about
it. Naruto let out a short breath, suddenly elated, imagining the Hyuuga maybe
giving that small smile to him, to his face, unashamed of the fact that he was smiling, and this time for Naruto and
Naruto alone.
�Nngah!� he exclaimed, as his seed shot all over his face
and chest in quick, hot spurts. His limbs shook in euphoria. He was too spent
to flinch as some of it hit one of his tightly shut eyes, but when he recovered
somewhat, he flopped on his back to rest on the ground, using his nearby
shirtsleeve to wipe it off so he could see again. He looked up at the
incredibly bright stars and the almost blindingly white sliver of the moon. He
wiped his chin on the back of his hand and saw the heady mixture of blood and
semen, his brows furrowed, almost worried. He sighed. If he had thought
admitting to himself about his sexual orientation had been hard, he shuddered
to think how hard this next part would be.

Neji turned
on one of the lamps, unpacked his pack, put his clothes away, and then sat down
on the surprisingly comfortable mattress on his side of the cabin. Naruto�s was
a mere eight feet away, opposite his. He looked around him with resign. The
glass windows were covered with curtains a comfortable shade of gray. So this
is it, he thought. It didn�t appear to be an altogether pleasant prospect.
However, it had been nice that Naruto had disappeared right after they had
arrived. In spite of the silence that had pervaded the majority of their
journey, Neji had found himself incapable of thinking
about the situation with Naruto in his usual analytical manner. Something about
the yellow-haired ninja�s presence halted all of his normal thought processes
and even, to his dismay, did weird things to his heart rate and breathing
patterns. If he couldn�t help it that Naruto�s mere presence made his stomach
do flips, how was he going to deal with Naruto�s nearly constant presence for
who knew how long?
And, what
was he supposed to say if Naruto pushed the question about neither
Yamato-sensei or Kakashi-sensei being needed? He couldn�t just tell him. True, he had been trained to
withstand torture, and he doubted that Naruto would really resort to that (was
he even capable of something like that?), but they were going to be working
together. It seemed like it would probably be a sore spot if Naruto still
demanded to know and Neji still refused to say. Not to mention the fact that
Neji had slight problems with Naruto acting like he hated the Hyuuga�s guts. Sure,
he�d act like it didn�t bother him,
but he was at a loss as to how exactly he would feel about having to act like it. Still, there was just no way Neji could tell
him. He didn�t even want to think about what Naruto�s reaction would be to the
truth. That might be worse than a simple act. Would he be thankful? He doubted
it. It was much more likely that Naruto would simply flash him a disgusted look
and then never speak to him again.
He inwardly
groaned (because, you know, Hyuugas didn�t actually groan �out loud, except for maybe Hinata).
What
possible reason could the Hokage have had in sending them both out to the
middle of nowhere? He highly suspected it was to force his hand, and that the
Hokage wanted Neji to tell Naruto about what he was really doing, as if it was
Naruto�s business or something (Neji snorted). If that was the case, which seemed
more and more likely the more he thought about it, he couldn�t help but feel
like his privacy had been invaded. And if there was one thing a Hyuuga really
respected, it was privacy. What Neji did during his free time was Neji�s
business, and how dare the Hokage interfere, especially before his plans were
complete. Sure, the Hokage obviously knew what he was doing, and he suspected
that everyone else probably knew, too. But, it had to be Naruto, the one person
who wasn�t supposed to find out in a million years, and who it was all truly for, that Neji was stuck with. It was
almost too much.
No, strike that, it was
too much. It wasn�t enough that the plan was in jeopardy and that he�d
been living for that plan since Naruto had left Konoha
to train with Jiraiya. This mission just seemed to be making everything fall
apart. Throwing Naruto into the river and pulling him back out, paralyzed and
bleeding, after all, made Neji feel all at once a multitude of things that he
wasn�t even sure a person could feel
all at once without exploding.
First of
all, there was the horror at having done such a thing, especially because
Naruto obviously wasn�t on his guard for a physical attack (though he should
have been, damn him, what kind of a shinobi does he think he is anyway?!). Then
there was the guilt for being so unaware of what he was doing in his insulted
pride that he had hit all of the right chakra points to paralyze the blonde,
and not realizing it until Naruto had failed to resurface within a reasonable
amount of time. And he had felt so justified
for hitting him and sending him flying, before Neji finally realized what he�d
actually done. Naruto, in spite of what he said and how quickly he healed,
either seemed unaware of or refused to admit the real danger he had been in.
What if Neji hadn�t realized that Naruto was paralyzed in time, and thought
that he was just faking it for sympathy or something? Then he�d have something to feel really guilty for.
Second� Was
Neji really ready to admit some of those dreadful things about himself? Sure, he had prided himself on being brutally
honest nearly all his life, only softening a bit towards others since his first
defeat at the hands of the one and only orange ninja. But was he truly ready to
admit� those things?
No, Neji
finally decided. If he admitted those things, he would have to admit others,
and then others, and then he would be spilling his guts to Naruto, and ruin his
plan, which he�d been working on for much too long to give up on it now. Besides�
spilling guts to anyone was� un-Hyuuga-like. Tonight, he would deal with the
horror and the guilt of today. The rest, he would put off for as long as he
possibly could�hopefully someday soon it would just go away. And that meant�Neji
cringed�avoiding Naruto like he was the plague.
And he had
no problem with that, really. He�d been doing that since Naruto had returned.
He was pretty good at stealth, after all. And as for Naruto� well, the guy wore
orange, for goodness� sake. He wasn�t exactly hard to miss.
He just hoped
Naruto would get the point and let him be.

(Here�s the fourth chapter! It�s a little bit later than the
first three, but that�s to be expected. The smut does take a bit more effort
than the usual stuff. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! And don�t you just know
that Naruto�s not going to get the point? Le sigh, he never does. That�s ok,
though. That�s why we love him, huh? =) But poor Neji. He�s in for a world of
torment. =D)
- 3
- 4
- 5
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What is and What Should Never Be