Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Researching	By : shadeoftroll Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1377 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
The splat in the
face-chapter...

*** Chapter 4 ***

Iruka was a nervous wreck. He couldn�t
believe that Kurenai and Anko would do such a thing. Of course it was a blessing
that he didn�t get groped and molested by everyone that came into the mission�s
office, but damn, married to Jiraiya? That was just� preposterous.

Iruka rubbed his scarred nose and closed
his eyes. What was he going to do?

�Yo!�

Iruka�s head snapped up and saw Kakashi
stand there with a foolish grin on his face. Not that you could see that much,
but Iruka had gotten very good at reading the legendary copy-ninja�s one visible
eye.

�Kakashi-san, you startled me,� Iruka
said and blushed brightly as he noticed that the ninja had leaned closer.

�You look troubled. Has your fianc�
split? Are you free for groping again? Can I molest you now?�

�I just knew it wouldn�t last��
Iruka sighed and closed his eyes.

�That�s none of your business and no I
am not free so keep your filthy fingers to your self. Thank you very much!�
Iruka snapped and stacked up a few papers in front of him.

�Mahhh, Iruka-chan, just tell me,�
whined the cycloped ninja.

�If you�re not here to leave a report
don�t come here at all. You�re just bugging me!�

The grown man pouted and straightened
up. He wanted to know if Iruka was free to molest again. The cute little Chuunin
was just made to be groped and palmed. But he wouldn�t dare go against the toad
sannin. The old man was way too powerful to mess with. Kakashi wouldn�t stand a
chance against the white haired womanizer.

Plus he wrote Icha Icha. He might punish
his readers by stalling the next series.

An evil gleam shimmered in Kakashi�s
visible eye and he lowered down to look closely at Iruka again.

�Say� could it be that you�re having a
hard time deciding if he would make a good husband Iruka-hime? Have you come to
terms that the old man probably never will give up chasing boobs and peaking in
on the women�s baths..?�

A blow below the belt but Kakashi could
be very unfair from time to time and if this meant that his cute assed Chuunin
would be free to molest again, he would take the chance.

Iruka stiffened when he felt something
jump up on his lap and then up on the desk.

SPLAT!!

�EWWW, what was that??� Kakashi
stumbled backwards and tried to get slime out of his face.

�Don�t you dare talk about Jiraiya-sama
like that!!� a voice called out. �He will not do that, Papa has made sure of
that!�

�Huh?� Iruka just gaped.

A little red frog.

A little red TALKING frog.

A frog that had spat Kakashi right in
the face with some sort of slime. �I think I�m going to faint�.� Iruka
thought and two seconds later he lay unconscious on the floor.

                                            *********************

�That�s not where you check for a
pulse.�

�You can check for a pulse anywhere
there�s a big enough vein.�

�.

�Let me check for his pulse, my hands
are softer.�

�Back off, I called groping dibs!�

�The frog�s going to show up and puke on
you again.�

�I don�t care! I can�t let our Uke
Princess marry the Toad King!�

�That sounds all fairytale and
likeable.�

�I think that it makes us the Evil
Witches.�

Iruka opened his eyes slowly, blinking
and wincing from the harsh lighting of the office. Genma and Kakashi were above
him, looking down with wide and innocent eyes. Hands�their hands were in the
chuunin�s pants. Both pairs groping rhythmically to incite a reaction.

The school teacher�s cock swelled
gradually at the attention and Iruka had to blink a few more times.

He closed his eyes.

�I�m five seconds from becoming
conscious enough to start screaming,� the smaller man warned.

The jounin glanced at one another.

�As this may be the last chance we have
to do this�� Genma said.

�Then by all means, start screaming your
pretty little head off,� Kakashi finished.

Iruka twitched and opened an eye. �Fine.
You asked for it.�

�Now if you�ll look to your left, you�ll
see the famous Hokage Mountain!� the tour guide said with a bright smile.

The group of tourists �ooh-ed� and
�aww-ed� and started snapping pictures. The jounin guide stuck out his chest
proudly as some of the group took pictures of him. Business had been booming
since word got around that two of the Legendary Sannin�s had returned to Konoha.
They had been running six tours a day to keep up with the demand.

�That one there is the First Hokage!�
the guide said, pointing high. �As you can see, we are in the middle of
construction on our beloved Fifth Hokage whose name is��

�TSUNADE-SAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!�

The canyons shook and echoed the scream
and people all over the village covered their ears as children cried and dogs
howled.

The guide blinked as the cry ended. �Eh
he he�yes, her name is Tsunade-sama and she is one of the Legendary Sannin�now
if we could get back on track��

Tsunade blinked as she stared through
the doorway of the mission�s office, fists raised as she tensed, ready for an
attack. What she found was Iruka sitting calming on the ground while Genma and
Kakashi lay on their backs, feet twitching in the air. Both were unconscious.

�You have some set of lungs,� the busty
woman commented.

The chuunin had the decency to blush.

Tsunade snapped her fingers, �That
reminds me�we need to have a little chat Iru-kun.�

Iruka�s heart skipped a beat. He didn�t
like the sound of that.

�W-what about Tsunade-sama?� he asked
quietly as he got up on his feet and brushed the floor dust from his ass.

�What happened to them?� Tsunade asked
instead of answering his question.

�As you said � I do have some set of
lungs and yelling for the Hokage when you�re molested can do that to perverts.
Your name is respected� and feared�� Iruka said and tried to sound nonchalant
about it.

�I will make sure that they are punished
later. Now if you�ll come with me to the office. We have much to discuss
before�. Uhm� just come with me.�

It sounded serious what ever it was and
Iruka was very sure he was not going to like it one bit. He shot one last dark
look at the two cockroaches that were still lying with their shaky legs in the
air and he snorted. �That�s what you get for molesting an unconscious
bitch!!� he said to himself as he followed the Hokage to her office.

Iruka entered the office and looked at
the Hokage who just moved to sit behind her desk.

�Please, close the door behind you
Iru-kun.�

The teacher did as he was asked and
closed the door and moved to stand in front of her desk.

�What was it you wanted to talk to me
about?� he asked and tried to hide the fact that he was very nervous.

�Jiraiya, you future husband. He�s like
a brother to me you see. A crazy, peeping, drinking and perverted brother� but a
brother none the less. I�ve heard the rumours, Iruka-kun and I want to know if
they are true.� Tsunade sat with her chin rested on her hands in her usual style
as she looked a person over.

Iruka tripped over his feet even as he
was standing still. He felt his face turn blue as he tried to remember how to
breathe.

�Well, tell me truth,� Tsunade demanded
to know.

�I� I� I don�t know. I mean� I�m not
sure� that is to say��

Gods, how hard could be to talk? Didn�t
he talk all day in class, he never stuttered like this before. Not very much.

�Well, speak up Iruka-kun.�

�It was Anko-san�s and Kurenai-san�s
fault. I mean� All Jiraiya and I did was fool around a bit and things kind of
went out of hand and then� and then I had to go to class and then� TALK TO
THEM!!!� Iruka screamed out the last part.

Tsunade�s well formed eyebrow went up as
the teacher went into hysterics.

�Anko and Kurenai? Are they a part of
this too???�

Iruka nodded violently.

�So�. you and Jiraiya did have an
episode together? I was sure the rumours were just exaggerated. I never thought
he would go for a man but then again�� Tsunade�s hazel brown eyes wandered up
and down the flustered teacher�s body. �You do look very girly� I�m sure Ji-chan
will love that tight ass of yours.�

Iruka was flabbergasted. His leader
shouldn�t be talking like that. She should stand up for him, protect him!!

�They were the ones that spread the
rumour about us getting married. I had nothing to do with it, I promise. I am
not really sure that Jiraiya-sama even wants to be married� I don�t know if I
want to be married to him either and� Does he like children? Do you think he can
stay committed to me?� The words just flew out of his mouth before he could stop
them, not without putting a hand over his mouth.

Tsunade blinked a couple of times before
she started laughing like a mad cow. The teacher was just too precious. She
opened a drawer and pulled out two cups and a bottle of sake.

�Come here Iru-kun, let�s have a drink
and a real heart to heart talk about Ji-chan�. You know woman to woman!�

                                            *****************************

Many dizzying hours later and the late
nighters of Konoha witnessed and unusual sight indeed and stopped to stare. Now
seeing Tsunade drunk off her ass was nothing new and was promptly ignored. But
the little brunette who was hanging off her shoulder�now that was something to
write home about.

And they were singing.

Loudly.

�Myyyyyyyyy milkshake brings all the
boys to the yard�.and they�re like�.it�s better than yours! DAMN RIGHT IT�S
BETTER THAN YOURS! I could teach you, But I have to charge�!!!�

Tsunade wavered to the side, dragging
Iruka with her. �HA! You really do have some set of lungs, Iru-kun!�

�Milkshake�that song�s talking about my
ass right?� the chuunin said, blinking slowly.

�Yeah, sure kid,� the Hokage said,
narrowing her eyes at a sign. �Hey look! A strip club!�

She pulled the small man after her
before he could gurgle out a protest. Iruka had the alcohol tolerance of a
caterpillar and this night was doing dizzying things to his brain. Like telling
him that joining the dancers on stage was a great idea and that yes, as a matter
of fact, getting stripped down to his white boxer briefs was perfectly
acceptable.

The alcohol later claimed to have
nothing to do with the karaoke bit.

But it took full responsibility in the
baby oil and body glitter.

Soon the club was twice as packed as it
was before they had entered, word spreading quickly that Iruka was drunk. And a
drunken Iruka meant one thing. A naked Iruka.

Not half an hour had passed before the
other dancers were shoved off stage, the owner realizing that with just the
chuunin shaking his money maker he had already tripled his profits from horny
jounin.

The brunette roved his hips to their
limit, moving more graceful than any female ever could as he �dropped it like it
was hot� and �shook what his momma gave him�. Kakashi was at the foot of the
wide stage, waving his money like a lunatic alongside Genma, Raido, Asuma, and
three dozen other jounin.

But Tsunade was the only one that was
gifted with a lap dance.

So it was perfectly understandable how
confused Jiraiya was when he entered the club, curious to see why his fianc�s
name was being chanting to the ceiling.

The chuunin laughed and tossed his loose
locks back, swinging his gyrating hips away from greedy hands as he played with
the waistband of his underwear. He gave a wink and turned, shaking his ass as
fast as he could to the chorus of groans and screams of �Have my babies!�

Usually the brunette frowned on this
kind of thing and would never imagine himself in this situation. It made him
feel disgusting and used, but he couldn�t stop himself. His sight blurred more
than a few times and he stumbled some, but not much.

Iruka wanted to sleep�.

He leaned against the nearest wall and
then frowned drunkenly

Ok, so he knew he couldn�t hold his
liquor very well but he was sure the walls weren�t looking like this when he was
dragged into the club. And since when did walls feel alive� and sticky.

Jiraiya was fuming. He had walked into
the strip club hoping to see if his body still could get aroused from seeing
half naked or totally naked chicks. And what his eyes had caught was his
supposed spouse strutting around on the stage in only his white briefs.

Instincts took over and before the rest
of the lot had any idea what was going on the stage was engulfed in a weird
jutsu. The Frog Stomach Jutsu. Inside there was only two people at the moment.
Jiraiya and Iruka.

A really drunk of his ass Iruka.

�Jiraiya?? What�s he doing here?�
Iruka thought as he blinked to get a sharper view of the white haired old
sannin. �And why does he look so angry?�

�Ji-chan, why are you here? Where [hic]
ever here is� where are we?� the teacher swallowed a couple of times and took a
more firm grip on the warm and sticky red wall.

�We�re at a place where nobody can
disturb us for now. And you my little princess have a lot to explain,� growled
the sannin, he could barely contain his wrath.

Iruka frowned� what was he suppose to
explain? He had just gained some extra money. It would provide him with some
luxury the next month. Or perhaps he should save it for a better occasion, what
ever that could be� or he could give Naruto a real treat at Ichiraku�s one
afternoon or evening. He also was seriously thinking about taking up a job at
the strip club since a few dances had given him more money then his monthly
salary. And...

�What the hell were you thinking
Iru-chan?� growled Jiraiya as he stepped closer to the wobbling man. His little
princess was beyond drunk he realized. And he was pretty sure who was
responsible for the state his future spouse was in.

�Money�� came the quick reply. �Just
take a look at all this money. This is more than the old windbag is giving me
for payment at the academy and the mission�s [hic] office. Do you know how many
bowls of [hic] ramen I can buy Naruto with this kind of [hic] money??�

Iruka held up several pieces of paper in
front of him but it was just swatted away by the enraged old man.

�I want to know what possessed you to
strip in front of Konoha�s off duty ninjas!!� the toad sannin demanded as he
trapped the blushing, alcohol induced Chuunin against the wall.

�Ehh?�

�Who tricked you into drinking tonight?�

�Uhm� I� did it all by my self,� Iruka
tried to focus, he really did. And he wondered if there would be any Konoha left
if the Hokage and the legendary Toad King would to have a stand off in the
middle of the village. So he chose to lie.

�I don�t believe you for a second my
little princess. You called someone an old windbag � was it Tsunade? Tell me the
truth or I swear to the Gods that I will spank the answer out of you.�

�It�s not a very good threat
Gama-pervert�if I like the punishment,� the brunette said.

Which Jiraiya was the real one? There
were three talking to him and if he narrowed his eyes he could see that one of
them wasn�t real. Iruka pressed himself against the sticky walls, wishing the
world would stop moving. He felt light-headed and weak in the knees. And he
wanted to sleep so very badly.

The sannin was talking to him again, but
the smaller man could only focus on blinking and staring at the old sage�s lips.
His pretty lips. Who was he kidding? The legendary author could have anyone he
wanted if he put in the effort. He was just settling for the chuunin. Iruka
didn�t want to be settled for, he wanted to be loved.

What if he couldn�t stand up to
Jiraiya�s expectations for a partner? What if he decided the brunette couldn�t
meet his standards and left him for some other woman? Iruka had been gay all his
life, no doubts about it. How long had the sannin been gay? The chuunin
certainly wouldn�t guess that he was just by looking at him. And he had some
awesomely powerful gay-dar.

Iruka could see himself taking care of
the older man and loving him�.did he love the Toad King now? The little Princess
thought hard. He�well he liked the sage. He liked the way Jiraiya spoke, the way
syllables rolled off his tongue; he liked the way his larger hands felt over his
lithe body; he liked the sannin�s hair�even if it did need a few hours alone
with a comb; and he especially liked�him.

Yeah�he liked him a lot. The chuunin
smiled to himself.

�I hope�I make a good wife for you,� the
school teacher said suddenly, blushing pink.

The jounin paused and stared stupidly.
Was Iruka thinking he could disappoint him? Who on this green planet could ever
be unsatisfied with Iruka?! The toad sage fancied the thought that even
Orochimaru would drop to his knees and beg for a chance at the pretty chuunin.

He blinked his dark eyes at the smaller
man�oh, he was going to beat the crap out of Tsunade. What had they possibly
talked about to make the brunette doubt himself? At least the busty woman hadn�t
been able to talk Iruka out of not going through with the marriage. Jiraiya
wanted the school teacher. He wanted to take care of him and make him smile and
loosen the stick from his ass.

The sannin would even submit to having
kids if that�s what the younger man wanted. Even if the chuunin didn�t ever love
him back, the toad sage would follow him around like a puppy to its master.

He had been tamed with a smile.

And hell, even if Iruka didn�t like him,
the sex would be fantastic! And hadn�t the Chuunin just admitted that he liked
to be spanked? Now that was something for Jiraiya�s kinky brain easily could
play around with and then act out in real life.

The school teacher closed his eyes and
slid down the wall, the dizzying feeling overwhelming him. His head was swimming
and his eyes were growing too blurry to see anything. He just�wanted to sleep.

The sannin swept Iruka against his chest
when he swooned, �Iruka!�

The brunette slowly let his gaze open up
to look at his future husband. �Jiraiya��

Jiraiya shook the smaller man, �Iruka!
Don�t go to sleep, sleeping is bad right now, I think you�ve had too much to
drink!�

�I think I�m going to be sick,� Iruka
moaned and tried to keep his eyes focused on one thing but everything was just
spinning. �Just stop the world from moving��

Suddenly the Frog stomach was dissolving
and Jiraiya knew who was responsible for that. Tsunade and her slug. And if
Tsunade had summoned her slug it could only mean one thing � the strip club was
probably in ruins now.

�JIRAIYA!!!�

�Hokage-sama has a better set of lungs
than me�� Iruka thought groggily as he nuzzled his face into that broad chest.
His husband-to-be smelled good. Sandalwood and was that ginger? �Perhaps he
likes ginger bread men cookies?�

�Tsunade-chan� you�ve destroyed the
club?� Jiraiya tried to joke as his jutsu became undone.

�Old fool, of course not, but I had to
do something to protect Iruka�s innocence. I will not allow you to take him
before your wedding night!� The powerful female sannin proclaimed as she put her
hands on her hips.

�Ehh?�

�Iruka-chan will come with me now and
tomorrow we�ll set a date for your wedding.� Tsunade�s words were law. And when
she had that glow in her brown eyes even Jiraiya wouldn�t dare to go against
her.

Besides, her slaps over the head really
hurt you know.

�Come now Iruka-chan, time to get you
home,� Tsunade said and held out her hand as if waiting for a child to take it.

�He�s not going anywhere in his state of
undress,� Jiraiya grumped out. Too many had already seen enough Iruka-skin to
last them a life time. He had to do something about it.

�Ji-chan� I�m c-cold,� Iruka mumbled and
tried to melt with the warm chest he was leaning against.

Jiraiya just sighed and removed his
outer yukata and put it around Iruka�s shivering shoulders. It was a good thing
he was a lot larger when it came to body size because his yukata was almost
reaching Iruka�s knees. It covered up much of that gorgeous bronzed skin.

�Is that better my little princess?�
Jiraiya said very softly as he covered Iruka�s body with his yukata.

�Mmm, feels warm��

�Iruka!!� Tsunade called out again.

�Head hurt� I want to sleep,� Iruka
moaned painfully.

�Jiraiya, let me take him home and I�ll
make sure he sleeps it off. And tomorrow you and I will have a talk too,� the
matron said as she stepped closer and took hold of Iruka�s wrist and pried the
Chuunin from Jiraiya�s arms.

Jiraiya was reluctant. He didn�t want to
leave his spouse in the hand of that depraved gambling and drinking woman. But
seeing Tsunade in this state of mind, he didn�t argue because that would mean
pain and Jiraiya despised pain. Actually any pain that didn�t involve sex that
is.

�Ji-chan!!� Iruka cried out and began
fumbling to grab one of the three or four Jiraiya�s he saw.

�Now, now Iruka-chan, come with me and
I�ll make sure you get taken cared of,� Tsunade said with her best motherly
voice.

�B-but I want Ji-chan��

�You want to go to sleep and sleep that
drunkenness off, trust me.�

�Ohh, alright�� Iruka gave in and
followed the busty woman out of the club, making three dozen jounin cry in
disappointment. No more naked Iruka�

Jiraiya growled and made a few hand
seals and caught the lot in the frog stomach again. He rubbed his hands as he
went to work in punishing each and every one of them for cheering his little
cute princess on. They would pay the price.

                                            **************************

Iruka woke snuggled into a plush bed he
didn�t recognize. The covers were pulled over his head and tucked in along his
body for warmth. He cuddled in deeper to luxurious blankets and rubbed his face
against soft skin.

�soft skin?

The chuunin blinked and opened his
doe-brown eyes to see a rather large set of breasts that he was laying on. They
were barely covered with a sheer pink nightgown that clung tightly to its owner.
A manicured hand pulled itself through his silken locks, scratching his scalp
nicely. The brunette purred unwillingly at the attention and slowly pulled the
blankets so he could see.

Tsunade stared down at him with a warm
smile. �Sleep well?�

Iruka blushed and went to sit up, but
the woman�s firm grip on him made him stop. �Hokage-sama!�

�Just sleep for a little while longer
child,� Tsunade said.

Her hand on the back of the chuunin�s
head glowed a soft green and the school teacher�s eyes fluttered and shut as he
slipped back into unconsciousness.

The busty woman smiled lovingly and
stroked his soft brown hair, wondering what conditioner he used to get this kind
of lift. He really was her favourite teacher. She�d make sure that toad scum
treated him like the Princess he was.

Tsunade petted him for a few more
minutes before a familiar chakra flared outside. She sighed and slipped from
Iruka�s snuggling body.

Jiraiya waited as patiently as he could,
soon walking into the Hokage�s house, knowing his friend was probably dressing.
He carried two batches of scrolls under each arm, all varying in size. If he was
going to be planning a wedding, he wanted to be prepared.

And he wanted to have it his way.

Tsunade walked out with her arms
crossed, eyeing the toad sage warily. �What are those and why am I afraid of
them?�

Jiraiya grinned lecherously. �Why, I
don�t know why you should be afraid! These are my wedding ideas! I spent all
night with Gamabunta planning them out and drawing up ideas!�

The woman twitched. �Ideas?�

�And with that big fat toad??? That�s
a bit frightening.� Tsunade thought.

The old man nodded and stuck his chest
out. �It�s my best idea yet! An Icha Icha special edition wedding!�

Tsunade ground her teeth together and
closed her eyes, ignoring the pulsing vein on her forehead. If she didn�t beat
the old pervert up, she knew Iruka would.

Jiraiya�s alert system went off when he
heard the crackling of knuckles. That didn�t sound good.

�Tsu-chan?� he tried.

�You fool, you would do good by throwing
those scripts into a fire because You Will Not print such a holy thing as your
wedding in a sleazy novel!!� Tsunade growled.

�But, but��

�And you used Gamabunta too? You went
over your wedding with the giant toad? Have you any idea how very WRONG that
sounds???!�

�Screw this� it�s too early��
Tsunade groaned and massaged her forehead with green glowing fingers. She tried
to heal the splitting headache her �brother� was giving her. She needed
something to drink.

Tea� yeah tea would be good.

�But Tsu-chan� It�s really good, in fact
� I�m sure this will be the best seller I�ve always wanted.� Jiraiya was
whining.

�Forget it Jiraiya� if you put those to
print you�ll never marry Iru-chan, I promise you. I will not allow my best
teacher to be an exploit of your twisted mind!!�

Jiraiya pouted.

�And don�t give me that face. Iru-chan
deserves better and you better be good to him or I promise that I will bring
down the Gods wrath on you.� Tsunade was serious. She liked Iruka and she would
go to any length to make sure he got a good life even if it meant that she had
to torment the man she considered a brother.

Jiraiya pouted some more.

�Besides� shouldn�t you be out looking
for a wedding garment?� asked the slug-sannin.

Jiraiya fidgeted a bit and felt a bit
uncomfortable.

�Ne, Tsunade� what do you think?�

Tsunade blinked.

�Think about what Ji-chan?�

�I mean, I like him� really I do. And I
can even see myself raising a lot of children with him�. Do you think I should
get married?� Jiraiya asked as he moved to sit down at Tsunade�s kitchen table.

Tsunade smiled softly.

�Of course I think you should marry him.
I promise you Ji-chan, you can never have a better �mate� than this guy. He�s
perfect in all means� plus he will help you with that jungle you call hair too.�

�Really?�

�Yeah� I�m sure he will be good spouse
for you� or wife if you will. He�s quite the little princess.� Tsunade smiled.

�How is he? Because he�s here I can feel
it.�

�He�s fine; he�s still sleeping off that
nasty hangover. I�ve given him some healing for it, but he�s still quite out of
it. Don�t worry. I will make sure that the Hentai-squad doesn�t get to him.�

Jiraiya smiled widely and dumped the
scrolls on a nearby coffee table, clapping his hands together.

�Then let�s get started!�

The Hokage knew this was going to be a
long day.

T B C

****************

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