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The Blessed Realm	By : susanna Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Naruto, his friends and the world he lives in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I write this story only for my pleasure and I don't make any money with it.

Chapter List
- 37
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Chapter
Thirty-Five: Coming Out (or not)

It
took Sasuke only some minutes to read the letter.

“What's
that thing with Hinata?” he asked putting it down. “Since
when has she been in love with you?”

Naruto
was surprised. The lines on Hinata were not what he had in mind when
he told Sasuke that parts of Sakura's letter might be of interest to
him.

“Not
every girl is in love with you”, he replied. “Some may
actually be in love with me, even though it may be hard for you to
imagine.”

Sasuke
felt hurt by the accusation, most of all because it was not hard for
him to imagine, and he had really not intended to insult Naruto.

“I
don't care about Hinata”, he said. “She's even more
useless than Sakura.”

“Sakura's
not useless. She is one of the most competent med nin of Konoha. And
Hinata's not useless either. When I fought Pain, who had invaded
Konoha, she was the only one who had the courage to intervene when I
was helpless, even though she was much weaker than him and bound to
lose within a few seconds.”

“I
would have intervened too”, Sasuke said. “And I would not
have lost because contrary to Hinata I am not useless in a fight.”

“You
weren't there”, Naruto replied, rather irritated. “And
Hinata's intervention was not useless. In a situation when I was
helpless and doubted myself she made me remember that protecting my
friends is more important than anything else, and helped me summon
the power of the kyuubi.”

“Yeah,
I've heard that you do so when you are upset. I was told you sprouted
four-tails when Orochimaru claimed me as his before you sought me out
in his lair.”

“Sure
I did.” It felt a long time ago now, though it was less than a
year ago.

“I
have also heard that you were not able to control the kyuubi, and
that he was on the point of taking over”, Sasuke continued.
“What a great way to protect the man you love: make him summon
a power that's beyond his strength. I would have been able to get it
under control again.”

The
memory of the moment when Sasuke had suddenly appeared within Naruto
at the place where the kyuubi was held in prison, talking to it or
rather listening to it, turned up in Naruto's mind. It had been a
creepy moment: The kyuubi had always been his last resort, it still
was, in spite of his teachers' warnings and the damage the kyuubi
would cause. The idea of having an opponent who was able to control
it had been a nightmare – Naruto still was not sure how he felt
about having a friend who had the power to get into his mind and hold
back the demon that was enclosed within him. For a moment he felt
insecure, returning to the time when Sasuke had just arrived in Music
Town and Naruto had no idea whether he could trust him or not.

Sasuke
was still waiting for an answer.

“You
weren't there”, Naruto told him again. “Anyway, it's not
important whether she had the power to control the kyuubi, or whether
she can protect me. It's the intention that counts. It's the warmth
and the affection she expressed in being ready to sacrifice her life
for me. I'm the man, I have to protect her. I don't know about you,
but I don't need a woman to protect me.”

“I
don't need a woman either”, Sasuke replied. “So what do
your want of her? Are you in love with her too?”

Naruto
hesitated. “I'm not sure. She's nice and gentle and has been
friendly even at a time when everyone else hated me.”

“I
didn't.”

“No,
you just despised me. Hinata admired me from the beginning and chose
me as her role model for not giving up. Only later she got a bit
weird: Hiding behind walls when I was approaching and not able to
talk without fainting or at least falling into a stutter that made it
almost impossible to understand her. And always she's wearing those
anoraks that make her look fat, even when it's warm. Sakura's much
prettier. And then she suddenly declares her love to me in front of
the whole village, and everyone, including herself and her father,
expects me to return her love just because she has risked her life to
save me.

I
really would have preferred a more conventional way of showing that
she likes me, as sometimes talking to me on missions or asking me to
go to the movies together so that we might have figured out whether
we really like each other and get along with each other. If I choose
her now it's just because she's available. It's as if I give myself
to her as some kind of reward. It's not as if I even have a choice.
It's a rather awkward situation, facing me with a love declaration
like this and forcing me to decide, and making me appear an
ungrateful bastard if I don't accept her.

I
mean, if I declared my love to anyone, I'd wait until I could hope
for a positive answer. I've asked Sakura for dates but I would not
tell her that I love her when I know she's in love with you.

So,
concerning your question: No, I'm not in love with Hinata. She's nice
and I like her, but I don't long for her with all my heart and feel
irrestistibly attracted to her as you are supposed when you are in
love.”

Sasuke
looked relieved and Naruto wondered why as he had just declared that
he did not care about Hinata. It had been weird, he thought, being
questioned about his love life by Sasuke, who only cared about his
revenge. (For the moment Naruto had forgotten that Sasuke was
supposed to be in love with Sakura.) He considered asking Sasuke why
Hinata was of so much importance to him suddenly, given that he did
not care for her, but Sasuke spoke before Naruto could ask his
question.

“There's
something else I wanted to ask you”, he said. “We've been
invited to change to another dance class. It's a training group for
some tournament that's going to take place in autumn, like the one we
watched at the festival. They think we have sufficient talent to
succeed in the beginners' class. We wouldn't have to deal with all
the teenagers there, or be pressed to separate and dance with girls.
I got it's only grown-up men there.”

It
took Naruto some seconds to process the information.

“Gay
men, you mean.”

“Yes.”

“Gay
men who will all be lusting after you, or rather after your body.”

“What
makes you think so?”

“You
don't look into a mirror, ever, do you?”

(Of
course he did, every morning when he applied gel to his hair and also
several times in the afternoon when he reorganized it. Naruto
sometimes wondered whether the result would not be better if Sasuke
did not use a mirror for this.)

“What
do you think they'll do when a pretty boy appears among them? I won't
let you fall prey to them!”

“Don't
be ridiculous. They're not like Orochimaru here.”

“Still
they're gay. I won't let them have you.”

“So
what are you going to do? Break my arms and legs? They don't approve
of it here.”

Naruto
knew this: If Sasuke was legal to join this group he'd get into
serious difficulties if he tried to hold him back by force. The only
thing he could do was find out whether there were any rules against
Sasuke participating in that dance class, - there had to be, they
would not allow a boy as Sasuke to join a group where gay men found
partners for sex. He regretted that he had advised Sasuke to claim
that he was eighteen.

“So
you insist on going?”

“I
do.”

“And
you don't care that you're leaving me behind again?”

Sasuke
was looking quite frustrated by now.

“The
invitation is for both of us. I want us to join this group because
there they'll accept that we want to dance with each other, they
won't whisper behind our backs, they won't try to persuade us that
dancing with a girl is not the same as having sex with her.”

Now
he was acting weird, Naruto thought. Of course dancing was not the
same as having sex.

“It's
up to you. We can join that group together, or you can stay with the
teenagers. They are in need of boys.”

“Meaning
that you'll change either way.”

“Yes.”

“And
find yourself a new partner if I don't follow you.”

“Yes.”

“You
don't give me much of a choice.”

For
some seconds they stared at each other.

“May
I take this as: Yes, I will continue to dance with you?” Sasuke
finally asked.

“You
may.”

Sasuke
looked relieved. He was not that keen on dancing with all these gay
men after all, Naruto realized. He went over to Sasuke to embrace
him.

“Don't
worry, I'll protect you”, he said.

For
a second Sasuke returned the embrace, then he dissolved it. He liked
being embraced by Naruto, but more and more he longed for the right
kind of embrace.

“I
don't need you to protect me”, he said. “I just want to
dance with you.”

“Yeah,
sure”, Naruto answered, hurt by the rejection and exhausted
from having to explain his feelings for Hinata and dealing with the
fact that Sasuke wanted to join a group of gay men. He got up from
the bed where Sasuke was sitting, wondering what adventures were
waiting for him, and sat down at the table to answer to Sakura's
letter.

Dear
Sakura!

Thanks
for your letter! I'm sorry to hear that things are going downhill in
Konoha and that Danzou is ruining both people's lives and Konoha's
reputation among the other ninja nations. I wish that at least you
yourself were spared from all the mischief, but I guess I cannot
expect you to be well when all the rest of the village is suffering.
I am glad that at least you won't be sent on a mission that might
kill you. Take care!

I
– both of us, I mean – want to thank you and Sai for the
risk you're taking upon yourselves in order to find some information
concerning the events around the Uchiha clan. Of course a proof that
the massacre was ordered by Danzou would be most welcome, but the
fact that the Uchiha clan has been spied upon for years tells a lot,
I think. Be careful, however! I don't want anything to happen to you
or to Sai.

Give
my thanks and regards to Hinata! I am glad that at least someone
remembers me and thinks of me.

He
looked up – he felt insecure about Hinata. He liked her and
wanted to show her his gratitude, but he did not want to raise any
hopes that he could not fulfill. His eyes met Sasuke's, and Sasuke
asked for a sheet of paper as he wanted to send some lines to Sakura
himself. Naruto gave it to him and then returned to his own letter.

Sasuke
is doing fine. He has accepted to stay with me and not engage in any
foolish attempts to gain his revenge. He seems to enjoy his stay, but
he is acting weird. He has started to learn to dance, and I have to
figure as his partner. Now he wants us to join a group that consists
only of gay men.

Naruto
hesitated, then he crossed out the word gay and blackened it, making
the letter look like the one Temari had sent to Shikamaru. He looked
at Sasuke who was focussed on his own writing. Naruto decided to
finish his letter:

I'm
looking after him, however, so don't worry. I will bring him safely
back to Konoha.

Love,
Naruto.

Sasuke
sat bent over his blank page, not able to focus on what he wanted to
write as his mind kept returning to his conversation with Naruto. He
was content with the result: Naruto would dance with him, but he felt
troubled and sad that he wanted to dance with him for the wrong
reasons. Naruto's opinions about gay men troubled him too: Had he not
noticed that they were not like Orochimaru here? Sasuke did not have
the courage to tell him that he wanted to join a group of gay men
because that was where he belonged.

There'd
be other opportunities, he decided. And maybe he would not have to
tell him at all: He'd be content dancing, and grateful that life
granted him some happiness before he ended it, killing Danzou.

Having
come to a decision he returned to his letter to Sakura. He had made
up his mind to crush her hopes once and for all:

Dear
Sakura!

Please
stop insisting on your everlasting love for me! It's not romantic,
it's annoying. I have never given you any reason to believe that I
might return your feelings, and if I have, I regret that I ever spoke
a friendly word to you. Please realize that I'll never love you, at
least not in a romantic way, no matter how much information you find
about the massacre of my clan, as I happen to be gay.

He
looked at what he had written: It was not so difficult after all. He
might be a bit nicer, however. He tore up the letter and asked Naruto
for a new sheet of paper. He tried again:

Dear
Sakura!

I
want to thank you for what you and Sai are doing in order to gain
information about my clan. I highly appreciate your efforts and the
risk you are taking for my sake but I want to ask you not to expect
me to love you in return, as I am gay. I hope you understand.

Kind
regards, Sasuke.

He
sealed the letter to make sure that Naruto would not be able to read
it, then he passed it to him to be included into Naruto's own letter.

A/N:

sukenarufan09:
I hope you are content with Sasuke's reaction to Sakura's letter.
Telling Naruto about his feelings is not that easy, however. It's
easier to tell Sakura he's gay.

Rahvin68:
Thanks again for your review! I hope you are content... Btw, there's
something I wanted to ask you: Does the number in your nick refer to
the year of your birth? Because that's when both I and my friend were
born too.

DeMock_LeFae:
Many thanks for your compliments! I am pleased that it is still
possible to read the whole story in one day, though I guess that you
did not do much else on that day. (The story has gotten to some
unreasonable lenghts, I fear.) Thanks for the compliments both to my
plot and my style: I'm not a native speaker so I am pleased when
people like my style. There will be more dance scenes, but they will
become more difficult to write as they are getting better at dancing.

I
try to update once a week. I hope you will like the rest of the story
too!
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The Blessed Realm