ᗰOᑎᔕTEᖇ | By : Sessakag Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Naruto/Hinata Views: 44706 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
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Chapter Thirty-Four
Hostility
April 26, 2010
“I’m okay, Naruto-kun,” Hinata murmured, “really, I’ll be fine. Sasuke-san just got here and who knows how long he’ll be here. Go spend some time with him. I’m alright.”
Naruto frowned, gazing into her earnest eyes, searching for a hint of the overwhelming distress she’d exhibited earlier. There was exhaustion there, mentally and emotionally, a wealth of worry, but there was also strength.
Even so…
He was torn.
Catching up with Sasuke, sitting down and talking with him, after all this time was something he had wanted to do every time he wrote to the guy but he didn’t want to leave Hinata even more. Today’s examination hadn’t exactly given them the clear cut answers he had hoped for, and after the terror she felt during it, he was loathe to leave knowing she was going to replay each sensation within that beautiful head of hers. And it was going to frighten her. If she needed him, he wanted to be there. If she got scared again, he wanted to soothe her through it. There was no way in hell he wasn’t leaving a clone here, just in case, but he really would rather be here himself.
The real him.
She reached a hand to his cheek, caressing it in that loving way only she could do.
“I’m alright, Naruto-kun. I promise.”
He sighed, eyes softening before he leaned down to touch foreheads. He gave her a pout.
“You promise, promise?”
She giggled.
“I promise, promise.”
“Alright, but I’m leaving a clone here, dattebayo.”
“I know that already.”
He grinned.
Of course she knew. She knew him better than anyone ever had by now. And he knew her just as well. A lot went unspoken between them and yet it was no different than if they communicated aloud. They just…knew. With a glance, with a touch, with their very presence, they talked to each other. They lived and breathed in synchronization, on a wavelength together outside the rest of the world.
He opened his mouth.
“And if I need you, I’ll have the clone dispersed and you’ll come running. I won’t shoulder this alone. If it becomes too much, I’ll tell you,” she smiled, “I promise, promise.”
His lips curled. She was too cute. With love in his heart, and determination in his eyes, he slid a thumb over those smiling lips.
“Everything will be okay, Hinata,” he swore softly, “I promise, promise.”
Her smiled grew.
“I know that too.”
Leaning forward, he replaced his thumb with his lips.
“Good,” he whispered against her mouth, “I’ll be back soon.”
He stood reluctantly, created the clone then stepped outside his bedroom door, closing it behind him. Sasuke was standing in the living room where he left him, dark eye moving from one spot to the other, taking in the wedding gifts and boxes stacked along the wall, the pictures of him and his lover showcased in various places around the spacious room. It was surreal having his grown-up best friend in his common room, but at the same time, it was mind boggling that said best friend had never been in his apartment at all until now.
“I’m ready now,” Naruto grinned, “she’s alright.”
Sasuke turned to him.
“You’re sure?”
The blonde nodded.
He would rather his real self stayed but he also knew he was going to have to get used to leaving her behind. Completing missions was not only for the safety of Konoha, it was a requirement for his dream of becoming Hokage. They were important. They were his job. As much as it killed him, he couldn’t be with her every second of everyday. He had to trust in the strength he saw in her eyes. Trust in the faith he had in her.
Everything would be okay, he’d told her.
He needed to tell himself that too.
Everything would be okay.
“Yeah,” he told his friend, confidence coating his tone, “she’s fine.”
The two wandered to the front door, both sitting to put their shoes on. Naruto couldn’t help but notice how nimble the other man completed the task with a single hand. He was impressed and saddened. Sasuke hadn’t wanted a prosthetic, and had made himself very clear in that regard, despite Naruto’s prodding that he wait for one.
‘The loss of this arm serves as a constant reminder never to return to the dark path I once walked and makes fresh in my mind, the consequences that arose from it. And the lessons I learned from it.’
That’s what the single armed shinobi had told him when he left, and Naruto had little doubt he’d changed his mind on that front. It bothered him. Even though he said it was a reminder to keep him from making the same mistake, the blonde Uzumaki knew it also served as a self imposed punishment for his crimes. It hurt him, but…he understood. In that regard, he could understand, and while he didn’t plan on letting Sasuke continue to play the exile in his home village, he wouldn’t make a fuss about the replacement arm he’d already been approved for.
It was his body.
His way of coping with what had happened.
As much as it pained him, he wouldn’t interfere with that. He highly doubted Sasuke would listen to him anyway. The resolute look in his dark eye when he said had been set in stone. The lone survivor of the Uchiha would not be swayed by anyone or anything.
“You sure you don’t wanna see Sakura-chan first?” he asked as they stood, “she’s probably still working at the hospital but I’m sure she’d be happy to take a quick break.”
There was brief hesitation from the older male.
“No.”
Naruto sighed.
He already anticipated that the reunion between his two former teammates wasn’t going to be the most…pleasant. Sakura was already upset that Sasuke had not only left without her, but hadn’t said goodbye either, add to that the unanswered letters she’d sent and it was recipe for disaster. Even he had been peeved that Sasuke hadn’t read his, he could imagine Sakura was deeply hurt by it…hurt and violently furious. His friend might not leave the meeting with any arms after she got through with him.
“It’s your funeral,” he muttered, opening the door and stepping out into the hall.
After locking the door behind them, the jonin pocketed the key and started walking, Sasuke fell in step along side him.
“Where are we going?”
Naruto shrugged.
“You haven’t been home in a while and you barely got a chance to go anywhere after the war. I figured I’d show you around and fill you in on what’s been going on with everybody.”
“Naruto-”
“I’m not gonna hide you away like some dirty secret,” the blonde cut him off, “what happened, happened for a reason, Sasuke. Its over now. You were pardoned…you’ve changed. You don’t have to hide your face here. You’re my friend, and I’m not gonna help you treat yourself like shit. I’m not ashamed to walk next to you and I’m not gonna pretend to be. I know it’ll be a shock for everybody…and uncomfortable, but eventually, things will get better. If the village can accept the kyuubi kid, they can accept you too.”
The man next to him exhaled.
“It’s not that simple,” he negated, “You’re comparing apples to oranges.”
“Apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, who cares?” Naruto dismissed, “its all fruit last I checked.”
Blue orbs took in the pensive look on his friend’s face.
“Its not gonna be easy,” he huffed, “I know that. You know that. And for a while, its really gonna suck…but at least give it a chance, Sasuke. Things change. People change.”
Though he didn’t answer, Naruto could read the answer in that rigid posture. He was convinced this was an exercise in futility, he wouldn’t agree but he wouldn’t protest either. For him at least, Sasuke would allow himself to be dragged along physically and metaphorically. For how long, Naruto wasn’t sure. Sasuke was Sasuke, he’d indulge his bestie for however long he wanted. That he was willing to follow his lead in the first place was about all he could hope for.
“Ah, speaking of change,” he interjected, half wanting to lighten the mood and the other half genuinely excited, “a lot happened while you were gone. I’m a jonin now. Gotta team and everything. Shocking, I know. Tani’s the youngest, she’s sweet but feisty. She’s gotta crush on her ol’ sensei but she adores Hinata. Sanzo’s a lot like me, prankster, always gotta find trouble, but he’s a good kid. He and Tani go at it all the time like cats and dogs. Kinda makes me realize what Kakashi-sensei had to go through with us, ‘ttebayo.”
Though quiet, Sasuke seemed amused.
“Seinosuke’s pretty serious most of the time, nothing gets by him but he’s not always like that. He can laugh and goof off just like the other two, he just knows when its time to play and when its time to work better than most shinobi. I can round em up tomorrow so you can meet em. Sanzo really wanted to meet you.”
“You told them about me?”
“Yeah, of course I did. I told you, you’re not a forbidden topic. Why the hell wouldn’t I tell them about you? Anyway, they’re great kids, you’ll like em. They-”
“Naruto-sempa~! Good morning~!”
The both stopped and turned. A group of women were gazing at the whisker cheeked sempai~ in question, giggling and waving.
“And uh, apparently this is a thing,” he chuckled bashfully, giving the girls a friendly wave before moving again, “got a fangirl club now. Hate to admit it, but I can see why you didn’t give all the screeching girls the time of day. They don’t need much to chase you over. Even that wave was kinda dangerous, dattebayo.”
“The war turned you into a celebrity,”
“Guess so,” he admitted, giving his neck a embarrassed rub, “and it’s only escalated over the years. It got worse when me and Hinata became a thing. Found out couples are a hot topic for a lot of people. Hero of the Leaf and the Hyuuga Princess.”
He sighed, running fingers through his short locks.
“Us being engaged only made things crazier,” he frowned, “fangirls crying, fanboys proposing, fame has its downside, ‘ttebayo.”
Sasuke let out a low, rusty chuckle. Naruto could tell the other man had found very little to laugh about on his journey.
“Never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth, Naruto.”
The famous shinobi let out his own chuckle.
“Yeah, me either but its true. It not as bad as it used to be though. When I’m with Hinata or my friends, they tend to keep their distance, especially since I usually make a run for it anyways. As long as they don’t bother me too much, then it’s fine. They greet me, and take a few pictures, I can live with that,” he shrugged, “speaking of Hinata, man, she’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
His lips pursed.
That sounded kinda stupid…
“I mean, even though we already knew each other growing up, once shit went down with Pain, everything changed between us. It felt like we had just met.”
He said that last part sheepishly, that familiar frustration and anger rising as he replayed his childhood. His past self had been so blind and clueless, so caught up with Sakura to look her way. Even now, he still wanted that time back, those years she’d spent adoring him from a distance. The lifetime she’d spent cheering him on. It still had the power to piss him off, thinking about what she’d endured for his sake.
How at every interval, even now, she put him first above all.
That beautiful woman was his soulmate, and he’d wasted over a decade, with her swooning right within his reach. Sighing, blushing, fainting over his mere presence.
No matter what his sweet Princess said, he was an idiot for that alone.
“I’m still pissed as hell and I have nightmares about it every once and awhile,” he admitted, brows crinkled with a twinge of the disquiet, “but when I fought Pain, and I was pinned down, about to be captured, she stepped in to save me. She got hurt…really badly but, she confessed to me that day, thinking she was gonna die.”
He was quiet a moment, processing the throb in his chest as he said those words.
“Seeing her like that, I lost control. Kurama took over but it was my rage and hatred that fueled him. I’ve never wanted to kill someone so bad,” he confessed, “unfortunately, I didn’t remember what she said during that fight and so…I didn’t know she confessed. She thought I just hadn’t responded and took it as rejection. I don’t know what I would’ve said or done if I had remembered to be honest, but I feel like we would’ve become a thing quicker if I had since it wasn’t just her stepping in that opened my eyes to her. When Ero-Sennin died…she was there for me, ‘ttebayo.”
That brought a different ache to his chest. He looked over at his friend who was watching him intently. He grinned, locking away the emotional hurts in the little box he kept tucked away in his heart.
“I guess it goes without saying that she loves me more than anyone ever has. Top it off, she has this incredibly cute, incredibly pure personality. She’s sweet as hell, kind to a fault, cooks the most amazing food,” he enthused, “she’s super strong but really gentle and absolutely beautiful, dattebayo.”
He knew he had that lovestruck, tender look on his face as he tried to encompass everything that was his future wife with mere words, but he didn’t care. The way he loved his woman and to what extent had ceased to embarrass him eons ago. His friends had long since tired and after fighting it so tenaciously, they’d given up trying to get him to shut up about her. Even he could admit that he’d been obstinate and flippant about the whole thing.
He always went on and on about her. So what?
Did he ever think about anything other than Hinata? Nope. Next.
They’d been together been for a while, when was the lovey dovey honeymoon period over. Exactly two days after never.
There he goes again, obsessed with the Hyuuga Princess. Damn right! What of it?
He couldn’t help it anyways. As they said, the Hyuuga Princess had the Hero of the Leaf wrapped around her finger. Crazy thing was, they didn’t know the half of it. Had she told him to jump he’d be halfway across the Milky Way by now, and he’d keep going until she told him he could come back down. He was wrapped around more than her dainty little finger.
“She supports me in everything I do,” he continued, “she’s why I made jonin by the way. I’ve never been the sharpest shinobi, or even the brightest person, but I was able to pass. She was my tutor, and let me tell ya, she didn’t let me slack off at all. It was surprising considering she so…soft and timid. It’s probably one of the first times I really buckled down academically,”
He chuckled at the dark brow that rose above the Uchiha’s dark eye.
“I told you, she was really strict with the books. The word academic was never part of my vocabulary and I sure as shit didn’t know what it meant when I first saw it, but you’d be surprised how many fancy words come outta my mouth now days,” he laughed, “Anyway, she helped me out when I was waiting for my prosthetic. I’ve always been really energetic and I’m used to constant movement, I was frustrated that I couldn’t train properly and she even helped me with that. We started practicing chakra control, and even though mines really good, we were able to fine tune it even more. I can even do one hand seals now. We got even closer after that. It was like…my whole world just narrowed down to her.”
He ran a hand through his hair.
“It took me so long to figure out how she felt about me. How I felt about her. I almost messed everything up.”
Shit.
He was gonna have to go into…that.
“Uh,” he scratched uncomfortably at a whiskered cheek, “yeah…you should probably hear this from me but uh…Sakura-chan and I kind of…dated?”
That stopped the other man in his tracks. Naruto turned uncomfortable orbs to his friend’s narrowed ones.
“Listen, before you try and rip my head off,” the blonde sighed, “it wasn’t my idea and it was barely dating at all. I kinda realized my feelings for Sakura weren’t what I thought they were, and I was right but I needed something to compare what I felt for Hinata to someone I thought I liked, so I just…went along with it.”
Shit.
That sounded even worse. He could tell by the thundercloud consuming the other man’s face. He didn’t know which was pissing him off more, the fact that he and Sakura had briefly date or his reason behind agreeing to do it.
It was probably a combination of both.
“Yeah I know, shitty thing to do. Both of us, we were doing it for the wrong reasons and I’m not gonna tell you hers, so don’t ask. That’s for her to tell you if she wants to. Anyway, aside from a few outings, it went nowhere. We got on each others nerves more than anything. And my mind was always on Hinata so it was really uncomfortable.”
He started walking again and after a beat, Sasuke followed. Though he wasn’t one for words, or even facial expressions, the one handed nin was, in actuality, a really emotional person, and he clearly had deeper feelings for their pinkette friend than he cared to admit. Why else would he have death in his eyes. Sure he cared about Sakura the way Naruto did, but he also had a look that the blonde got whenever someone messed with his own fiancée. Had anyone tried to use his Princess, wrath would be in his eyes too.
“Sakura-chan treated me the same as always. She talked with her fists, called me stupid, ya know, the usual and that’s when I started noticing the difference. Hinata always laughed at my jokes, she liked my orange clothes, she liked the way I thought and never made me feel stupid, let alone called me that. When I talked she listened, she asked me questions like she really wanted to know more about me. I never felt outta place with her. I never felt like I had to build myself up or be someone I wasn’t. I could just…be me, dattebayo. Its still like that even now, just…so much deeper.”
They wandered into the entertainment district and though he was listening, Naruto watched his friend take in their surroundings with quiet curiosity. No matter what he said about leaving, Sasuke knew this place would always be home.
“She went away on a mission for a while and when she came back, she came to see me. It was late, and I was tipsy and I kinda…”
Sasuke glanced his way at the pause.
“Kinda what?” he prompted.
“I kinda…kissed her the moment I saw her,”
His cheeks colored, but not with embarrassment, but lingering shame. That night, not only had he touched her like a drunken, lecherous old man, he’d broken her heart.
“And…did a little more than that…something I shouldn’t have done.”
Sasuke stopped again.
“What are you saying, Naruto…?”
Naruto stopped too, swinging blue orbs to his friend. There was something in his voice. Something in his eyes. Something that shocked him to his core and sent his temper skyrocketing.
“Not that! Are you outta your fucking mind?” he exclaimed, startling quite a few passersby, “I would never-”
“Keep your voice down, usuratonkachi.”
Naruto glared for all he was worth but lowered the volume. To think Sasuke would really believe, let alone suggest, he’d ever do something so…vile. And to Hinata of all people.
“I felt her up, you idiot,” he hissed under his breath, “the fuck kinda guy do you take me for? Yeah, I kissed her, touched her without asking. I shouldn’t’ve done it, and it was completely unacceptable, but I don’t care if I was shit faced drunk, I’d never-”
He couldn’t even say it. He was an admitted pervert and he’d stepped way out of line with her that night, but he had never, would never rape a woman. The thought alone turned his stomach. It was one of the most despicable, most heinous crimes you could commit against anyone, male or female.
He would never, in a million lifetimes, ever do that.
Never.
“I know that.”
“Then what the fuck?” the enraged Jinchuuriki snapped.
Sasuke sighed.
“I’m used to the old you, the one that didn’t have a clue about himself let alone women. To the you of the past, a kiss and hugging a woman without consent was probably as bad as what you though I assumed,” he explained, “you were far from worldly when I left. You lived in extremes.”
Mollified, some of the fire cooled from his head. He could admit, he didn’t know shit about girls, sex and anything in between a lot longer and to a greater degree than his circle of friends, Sasuke included. He looked at inappropriate images and masturbated. That was the extent of his knowledge before the guys around him began to clue him in.
As Iruka-sensei said, he was a late bloomer.
“Whatever,” he grumbled, resuming their tour, “maybe you’re right about that, but no, it didn’t go anywhere near that and never would, for the goddamn record, ‘ttebayo.”
The starch left his spine.
“But she thought I did it because I loved her and she confessed to me again, for the second time and like a fucking…brainless dumbass, I put my foot in my mouth, mumbled something about me and Sakura and basically made it sound like I didn’t have feelings for her when I did.”
His shoulders slumped a fraction.
“I really hurt her that night.”
The words tasted like shit in his mouth, but it was the truth. Of the few times he’d hurt her, that one was one of the worst. That one still had the power to gut him. That was the only time she had ever raised her voice to him. That fact alone bespoke the terrible heartache she’d experienced that night.
“Then I see here with this white haired dickhead and got all stupid and jealous and made it worse,” he looked over at Sasuke, “I hated him the moment I saw him and it turns out my gut feeling was right. He’s part of some scheme with the Otsutsuki and has some sick fuckin obsession with Hinata.”
Sasuke nodded.
“Rokudaime-sama informed me already.”
“You’ve been the main source of information for us, of course he’d tell you. Anyway, Sakura beat the crap outta me for what I did to Hinata, we ended our…experiment with each other and shortly after that, Hinata and I were a couple, we moved in together of course and lived our lives.”
He was back to grinning like a fool.
“I wanted to marry her a long time ago. I had the ring in my pocket forever, but I was nervous and waiting for the right time. Why, I don’t know,” he shrugged, pondering that again.
It was silly, thinking about it now. Hinata felt for him what he felt for her, she could propose to him with a stale, half eaten donut in the middle of a snowstorm and he’d have accepted happily. He could have done less than that, as Ino said and she still would have accepted his proposal with the same happy tears she had shed when he’d asked her in their kitchen wearing naught but his birthday suit.
“April 13th,” he announced proudly, “I popped the question and became a fiancé, dattebayo.”
It still felt surreal sometimes.
“You pretty much know the rest. This shit with her chakra started and that’s where we’re at.”
He turned burning cobalt orbs to his friend.
“Guess to sum it all up, she’s like this…angel. This incredible light in my world and to say I love her would be an understatement. I’m still kinda shocked that I met someone that perfect for me. A girl that’s been hiding in front of my face as far back as I can remember,” he crossed arms behind his head, euphoric with his favorite topic, but he’d talked his friend’s ear off about her long enough, “I could go on and on about her, but I’m sure you wanna hear about other stuff too,”
He looked to his right.
‘What was your first clue?’ that placid expression said.
He chuckled.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. My favorite subject ain’t exactly what anybody wants to sit here and listen to, what else is new?”
There was a pause before his friend spoke.
“Congratulations, Naruto,” the Uchiha murmured, “the way you speak about her…I’m glad she was what you needed…when things were bad, and that you have her now. Congratulations, on your relationship, and engagement,”
Sasuke seemed uncomfortable expressing his happiness for his best friend, but even so, it was sincere.
A moment of surprise held him quiet before he grinned, “thanks, Sasuke. Just for that I won’t make you ask about who you really wanna know about.”
He wagged blonde brows at his friend.
“Sakura-chan,” he teased.
Sasuke turned away.
“Idiot,” he grumbled.
Naruto laughed.
They came upon two men chatting, their relaxed forms leaned against a wooden fence. One looked their way, straightened and nudged the other man. He too turned to take in the famous Uzumaki and the dour looking man next to him. Dressed in green flak jackets and sporting Konoha headbands, their shinobi status was apparent, as was there contempt for the cloaked man at his side. They recognized Sasuke. Their hard face, cold eyes didn’t go unnoticed by either men.
The ‘secret’ was out. Naruto knew, the moment they passed the men they’d be gone, spreading the news to any and all that would listen.
Neither he, now Sasuke responded to the hostility, both for different reasons.
Naruto wasn’t giving them the time of day as long as they left it at looks, and Sasuke…
Well, Sasuke probably felt he deserved it.
“Anyway,” Naruto continued brightly, refusing to let the minor incident ruin their vibe, “Sakura-chan took over the medical department a while back, though Tsunade-baa-chan is some kinda adviser/supervisor even though she retired on paper. She’s been worried about Ino lately. We all have actually.”
“Ino?”
“Yeah, she’s been diving around in the jubokko’s minds tryna get information and it’s really starting to mess with her head,” he frowned, “she was on leave for awhile, and Sakura-chan took off to help her cope. They both went back to work not too long ago. Once we meet up with her, we can find out how Ino’s holding up. Anyway, Sakura-chan’s been working hard to find a cure or at least some way to stop the tsuchi and she’s had some success with it.”
His frown deepened.
“Orochimaru cut some kinda deal with that weird guy; Myoka…Myoi…something, I don’t know, can’t remember his name, but he’s that skinny guy that came here and started changing shit up. He’s the Feudal Lord’s adviser.”
The news halted him.
“What did this deal encompass?”
“I don’t know,” Naruto admitted, “Kakashi-sensei can’t talk about it and neither can she, but I haven’t seen Orochimaru in the village in a long time. I don’t even sense his creepy chakra anymore.”
They fell back in step.
“I don’t think anything good is gonna come outta either one of them,” the jonin commented, “anyway, Sakura-chan is hopeful about what they were able to come up with. She’s been trying to make improvements and make the treatment more effective but it’s been hit and miss.”
Sadness filled his chest.
“She’s lost a lot of patients. Not as much as the war but it may as well be the same. It hurts her, ‘ttebayo, when they…die. She tries not to show it but…it’s Sakura-chan. I know her. I know her eyes even if she won’t say it.”
He glanced at Sasuke.
He knew his eyes too, even if he wouldn’t speak. The news hurt him too.
“She won’t tell me much and lately, she hasn’t let anyone in. Not me, not Ino, nobody,” he murmured, “I’ve tried talking to her, but its like hitting a brick wall. I know its not that she doesn’t trust us or anything but…she just doesn’t want to burden anybody. She wants to seem like this strong person, and she is, don’t get me wrong. She’s strong as hell, physically and mentally but…I’m strong too and even I need somebody. I’ve got Hinata, I’ve got you and all our other friends. You all help me in ways that just being strong doesn’t. I told her that and she just smiles and tells me she knows, that she’s fine and that I’ll be the first to know when she needs to talk.”
He crossed his arms.
“She’s needed to talk for a long time. The time she needed to talk was right after the war and I still haven’t ‘been the first to know’, dattebayo.”
He sighed.
“She probably wants to talk to you, ya know,” he said plainly, “and you’re probably sick to death of it by now but whatever, why didn’t you read any of her letters? When I asked her if she got any notice from the postal place that they got picked up she said no and looked pretty upset. So what gives?”
For a while, they just walked and Naruto wondered if Sasuke would answer him. He was just about to let out an exasperated sigh when he spoke.
“They make it hard to focus.”
Blonde brows crinkled.
“Huh?”
“I left the village to find out who I am after the life I lived, the decisions I made. To understand where I went wrong, and to repent for it,” he said so low Naruto had to strain to hear him, “to protect the village I tried to destroy.”
With eyes to the ground beneath them, he continued, “after everything I put you two through, after what I took from you…I couldn’t read them. Not until I had earned the right to do so. Not until I-”
“Man, you’re still stupid,” Naruto huffed, scratching his head, “jeez, its like that fight at the Final Valley meant nothing at all. I already told you, didn’t I? You’re my friend. We fought for one reason and one reason only, to knock some sense into you. You didn’t take anything from me, I gave it willingly and I’m fine with it.”
He lifted his bandaged hand.
“See, brand spankin new,” he grinned, “it works even better than the old model too. Baa-chan says she’ll keep improving it over time and I’ll have my own collection of arms that do all kinda cool shit my old arm couldn’t do.”
Not a crack, not even a glimpse of amusement from his companion. The smile left his face and he exhaled exasperation through his down turned lips.
“I know you feel guilty about, ‘ttebayo, but I’m really fine with it, Sasuke. If anybody should hold it against you, it’d be me and I don’t. It didn’t cross my mind once, even right after it happened. I was just happy that I’d stopped you from going back into that dark place,” he told him truthfully, “that’s all I cared about then and its all I care about now. I don’t know how many times I gotta say it before you and everyone else gets it. I’m at peace with it, and I want you to be too.”
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.
“The way you are though, it probably always gonna bother you, I know that. But, I’m not gonna help you with that either, I’m not helping you beat yourself up about something I never even think about anymore. My feelings about it are loud and clear and they’re not gonna change. I did what I did because you’re my friend. End of story for me. Seeing you all messed up like that hurt me more than losing an arm.”
The smile returned to his face.
“But I understand and to be honest, I think being here in the village is also part of your journey. There’s things you can learn here about yourself that you won’t find out there. There’s redemption in Konoha too, Sasuke,” he told him softly, “if you really want to come to terms with what happened, you gotta confront where it started.”
They fell into thoughtful silence. Walking through the reconstructed village the two had grown up in. It looked different and yet the sensations, the feelings, were the same.
“You may be right about that, Naruto.”
The blonde chuckled.
“Of course I am, dattebayo,”
His stomach growled.
“Let’s get something to eat. I didn’t eat breakfast and now I’m starving.”
They stopped at a restaurant that boasted an outdoor seating area, and found a spot furthest from the other patrons. Naruto took the seat facing the people that whispered excitedly about his presence and the few that spoke just as hushed but held scowls for the dark haired man he had walked in with. A few especially offended individuals actually got up and left.
News was definitely spreading.
He knew making Sasuke sit with his back to them wouldn’t do much in the way of easing the discomfort; Sasuke was just as observant as he was. He knew others had either heard about him or recognized who he was and he could feel their repudiation as easily as Naruto could, though he uttered not a word. His face was placid and impassive. The jonin sighed internally. He couldn’t stop any of this, but he at least wouldn’t make his friend have to look at them while they ate. Luckily, the waiter that brought their food and beverages either didn’t recognize them or was too professional to allow his feeling to show.
Chikuzenni and a small portion of miso soup for Sasuke. When his own two plates were sat in front of him, the reserved Uchiha raised a brow.
“You finally started eating something other ramen.” Sasuke stated, amusement coating his words.
“Yeah, what about it?” Naruto challenged, with a grin, “ramen will always be top three in my book but I do eat other things. I’m an adult ya know?”
He reached for the meat on the plate.
“Besides, yakitori is awesome,” he proclaimed, taking a hearty bite, two pieces of meat leaving the stick in the process.
It was succulent and juicy. He chewed happily before speaking. Another thing he’d gained in adulthood.
Table manners.
Talking with his mouth full in his adult body was…so uncool. He learned that early on from the female counterparts that encompassed his circle of friends. Kiba had also been taught, though he’d been a little more hardheaded than Naruto, surprisingly. The dog loving shinobi had learned the hard way.
“Hinata cooks a lot of different things so I got more variety in my diet now, plus Choji’s always eating something. He let me try it once and I get it every now and then when Hinata’s not home to cook, or if I’m away on mission.”
He pointed at the rounded, pink mini cakes.
“Hinata likes sweets,” he explained, “cinnamon buns are her favorite but she likes mochi too. We’ve both have a sweet tooth. She let me try it and I liked it, so I get em when I’m in the mood for em.”
Naruto took a bite, chewed and swallowed then went back to talking.
“Everyone’s mostly the same as they alway were. Choji’s always eating, but he’s supper strong now, not that he wasn’t before, but he’s really something now. Shikamaru’s Kakashi-sensei’s adviser, he and Temari are together. Kiba’s just as annoying as he’s ever been, but with us living in the same apartment complex, he’s even more annoying. He’s always ‘just in the neighborhood’ when Hinata’s cooking. She has to make extras most of the time just in case he or the kids come by. I don’t mind Sanzo and the others coming over to eat, but that mutt should find his own damn food. He’s gotta girlfriend named Tamaki but apparently she’s not a good cook.”
He took a bite of the mochi. It melted on his tongue, filling his mouth with sweet goodness.
“Oh yeah, Choji has a girlfriend too. Her name’s Karui. She’s from Kumogakure. I think she and Temari are gonna end up moving to Konoha eventually,” he took a sip of his tea, “Sai and Ino hooked up pretty soon after the war and been together ever since. Lee and Tenten haven’t changed much, though they’re closer to each other now after losing Neji…I think we all got a little closer after the war. A lot of people died…Ino and Shikamaru’s dads…but we’ve all pulled together, ‘ttebayo. We hang out whenever we get a chance, spend holidays together, usually at my place, we train together, eat together, and support each other. You know, normal friend stuff.”
Normal friend stuff. He never thought he’d be saying something like that, for that to ever be the norm for him.
“Everyone in our group are chunin now, except for me, Hinata, Sakura, Lee and Shikamaru. We’re part of the jonin crew,”
Sasuke had made pretty good headway into his own meal and was sipping his own tea when Naruto turned questioning eyes to him.
“What about you, Sasuke?”
There was a pause, a quiet meeting of gazes between them before he spoke.
“I’ve been researching the Otsutsuki for the better part of last year. I spent time learning one hand seals as well and expanding my control over the Rinnegan. I’ve been closing the rifts I’ve encountered during my travels and helping with small skirmishes and the rebuilding efforts. The Land of Fire suffered massive amounts of damage and with the jubokko attacks, its worsened the reconstruction efforts.”
“When those things first showed up there was so much chaos, and so many places that needed help,” he ran a hand over his hair, replaying the tiring early days, “Even I was exhausted running all over the country. Is it still that bad out there?”
Sasuke shook his head.
“There’s been a sharp decline in rifts and jubokko attacks,” he said, “reconstruction has resumed at a much quicker pace.”
“That’s good to know, but…that wasn’t really what I was asking about, ya know.”
“Then what were asking about?”
The blonde jonin gave him a bland look.
“I’m fine, Naruto.”
“You don’t look fine. You don’t sound fine,” he negated, “you look a little better than when you left here, I’ll admit that, but it not that far from it, Sasuke. You still look…”
He sighed, knowing the word he wanted to use but wouldn’t. He’d only piss his friend off. But it was true. Sasuke had walked out the doors of Konoha broken, and while he didn’t look completely shattered now, he looked like the tape holding him together was pretty fuckin weak.
“Troubled,” he finished lamely.
Okay, that hadn’t come from his books, that came from their mask wearing Hokage.
“Troubled,” Sasuke repeated, “You sound like Kakashi,”
“Yeah I know, that’s where I got it from,” he huffed, “it works with my genin when they’re going through stuff. That’s not the point though. Wouldja quit stalling and answer my question.”
Silence.
Naruto exhaled, his gaze turning pensive as he looked down at his cup. He watched the pea green liquid swirl as he spoke.
“You held it in, back when we were kids….everything that kept you awake at night, everything that left you cold and hateful by day. You kept it all to yourself…that was part of the problem. It wasn’t where it started but that’s where it festered. That’s where it consumed you and turned you into what you were.”
“What do you want me to say…Naruto?”
Intent blue shot to blazing black.
“My entire life, everything I’ve done…was a mistake. Every decision I’ve made was wrong. The things I did, the people I hurt, the people I turned my back on…the brother I killed, the arm I took…What do you want me to say? That I struggle to live with it all, let alone come to terms with it? That I can barely stand the man in the reflection.”
“Yeah, actually. That’s exactly what I want you to say, dattebayo.”
“Why? What difference does it make?”
“Because now I know where your head is at and knowing that, I can help you this time.”
“I’m not going back down that road again.”
“I know you’re not, that’s not what I meant. You don’t have to go down that road to suffer just as much as you did when you did it. You’re taking a different road this time, a road that rips you apart. You wanna be rejected and treated like shit by the people you wronged in your eyes. Instead of taking your pain out on the world, you’re taking it out on yourself.”
“Where it belongs. I’m taking the right road this time.”
“That’s not the right road, Sasuke. I told you before, you weren’t the only one to blame for what happened. And that means you don’t get to suffer all the consequences. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel shame or guilt or regret for what you did, I’m not saying there isn’t a price for it, I’m saying it doesn’t mean you don’t get to live a good life because of it. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life punishing yourself. It won’t do anybody any good, even the people that feel like you deserve it, none of which lived through the nightmare you did, by the way.”
Lips turned down, cerulean orbs gleaming, Naruto looked him straight in the eye as he formed his next words.
“Back when Sakura-chan came to kill you, I told you that your actions were understandable, I still feel the same way. I feel it even deeper now. The bond I have with Hinata…I understand your pain, your rage even more than I did back then. What you did, it’s not a life sentence Sasuke. What you felt…it had to go somewhere, and its not an excuse, I’m not saying this because you’re my friend, I’m saying it because that’s reality. Pain has to go somewhere. We have to do something with it or it’ll swallow us up. This is no different than that. The pain you’re in now, redirect into something other than punishing yourself. You’re allowed to do that, ‘ttebayo. You’re allowed to pick yourself up off the ground.”
His hand clenched on the table.
“I can’t force you to do anything. I can’t force you to forgive yourself. I can’t force anybody to forgive you either, all I’m asking is that you let me help you this time. At least let me show you a different road that you might not realize exists, ‘ttebayo.”
xxxxxx
They’d traveled the street of Konoha a couple more hours after their meal. Sasuke walked silently as his friend chatted away in his usually sunny way, pointing at place he had been, stores they should visit together, restaurant they should try next. From the way he behaved, to an outsider looking in, that had been privy to their words hours ago, would think that the highly charged, highly emotional conversation over lunch hadn’t even happened.
Sasuke knew better.
Naruto was acutely aware of the speech he’d made, the hand he’d extended to him. While he hadn’t said verbally that he had accepted that outreach, the outgoing blonde had taken his silence as the consent it was.
Sasuke didn’t want to mingle.
He didn’t want to show his face to the people he’d turned his back on. The people he’d scared and hurt.
And if he were completely honest with himself, he didn’t want redemption. He was the last person deserving of it.
But…
For Naruto, for the person closets to him, he’d grit his teeth and bear it.
He owed him so much more than that.
Even more than that, he trusted the man beside him. Naruto had seen the light in him when everyone, including himself, had thought him naught but the darkest of black holes. The happy-go-lucky Jinchuuriki could see things others couldn’t. Maybe, just as in the past, there was something else he couldn’t see. What was it now, that those cobalt eyes could see, he wondered. What bright light could he see beyond the faces surrounding them?
Sasuke gazed from one visage to another, black eye trying to glean what it was.
All he could see was his own self-loathing mirrored in the men and women they passed.
The looks, the stares, the morbid curiosity had only worsened the longer they remained in the eye of the public. Soon after, Naruto had steered them from the busy streets. The two were quiet as they traveled. It was a comfortable quiet, and a desperately needed one. He need time to absorb and decompress. As calm and collected as he always presented himself, he could admit to himself that he felt things too deeply. He needed a break in the sensations in his mind and that tightness in his chest.
It was not to be, unfortunately.
They were approaching a place that was unmistakable to anyone that saw it. A single dark eye took in the high building, the white gleaming walls, the numerous windows, the scrub wearing men and women beyond the glass doors. There was only one reason his knuckle headed friend had brought him to a hospital.
He turned to the guilty party.
“You said you didn’t wanna go there first, not that you didn’t wanna go there at all,” he defended, “besides, I’m saving you an early burial. You’re welcome, ‘ttebayo.”
Sasuke was torn.
He wanted to see her and yet…he didn’t. There were things she wanted from him that he didn’t think were in him anymore if they ever had been. The last thing he wanted to do was give her the impression he could give her what she wanted, or to see her emerald depths fill with hurt that he couldn’t.
“I’ll go see if she can take a break.”
Sasuke watched as the jonin walked through the doors and wandered to the front desk. He spoke briefly with the woman behind it, then took the hall she pointed to and disappeared. Standing outside, Sasuke turned his mind to all he’d learned from his motor mouthed friend and away from the impending meeting.
He was happy for Naruto.
Happy he was closer to his dream of becoming the Hokage.
Happy that, he was not only accepted in the village that had ostracized him, he was celebrated.
Happy Naruto had found the love of his life.
Happy the Jinchuuriki that had suffered so much for so long, now found himself at the other end of that painful spectrum. He’d never seen Naruto so happy and that was saying something considering his default cheerful disposition.
He’d even go so far to say he’d never seen someone so much in love. The once knuckle headed Uzumaki sounded fairly obsessed with the Hyuuga woman. As they were sightseeing around their home village, her name had come from his lips several times. Rather than annoying, he found it somewhat amusing that the shy girl from their class had the hyper active Uzumaki tied into knots.
He hadn’t expected the Hyuuga girl to be the one his friend would settle down with.
He reminded her quite well, actually, considering she was the only girl in their age group that never swoon over him like a lovestruck bobble head. In fact, she hadn’t really given him any attention at all. And that had drawn his notice more than anything. It was ironic considering she was as quiet as a feather falling and had the presence of wallpaper. He could say, he remembered her gentle nature, and the kindness Naruto had cooed about earlier. He also remembered the poor girl had been head over heels in love with the empty headed Jinchuuriki and the whole of Konoha had known it. Everyone but the person in question. Other than that, he hadn’t really had an opinion or interest in the girl. She was a Hyuuga, but she was nothing like her cousin Neji, in personality or combat skill.
He wasn’t sure about her skill now, though with the mystery effecting her chakra, as it stood now, she was quite powerful.
Couple that with her breathtaking looks and he couldn’t deny his blonde friend had gotten pretty lucky. She was exactly what he needed and it bolstered the joy he felt for the life his former teammate had lived in his absence. If anyone deserved this slice of paradise, it was Naruto.
“Sasuke?”
He recognized the voice immediately. It was one that used to squeal his name in his youth. One that had often grated on his nerves.
He turned.
It was the same voice, but the face and form was different. Ino had changed. Elegant, sultry, she was a woman grown, her aura like that of Naruto. Mature and exuding confidence. The surprise melted the moment her eye met his. Something else to its place. Anger…a twinge of distaste, suspicion.
“You here to take more from him?”
There was an edge to her voice that left him in little doubt about the reception he was about to receive from his former fangirl. He had expected this among Naruto’s friends and he accepted it. They wouldn’t be his friends if they didn’t feel any sort of hostility towards him in his opinion.
“No,” he answered humbly, “I’ve…taken too much from him already…”
Her brows lowered, there was no softening.
“On that, we agree,” she replied, “shocking. When I started this little…conversation, I was positive I wouldn’t agree with anything that came out of your mouth.”
He could understand why she came to that conclusion. After the war, he’d gone from the battlefield straight to prison. He hadn’t spoken to anyone in that time but Naruto, the Kage and other officials in charge of his fate. The day he’d been released, he left Konoha, speaking only to the man who’s arm he’d taken before he left.
She didn’t know him anymore.
Not that she had known him well from the start.
And what she knew of him since his departure was as bad as it got. She crossed her arms, the glare in her eyes hard.
“Look, I may not like it, but Naruto…he’s…I’m sure he’s ecstatic that you’re here.”
The admission seemed to annoy her.
She frowned.
“Despite the pain he went through because of you. The sacrifices he made to get you back here…after all of that…that he still looks at you and calls you friend,” she shook her head, “that he still cares about you with his whole heart even with everything he lost…Naruto is…someone special.”
She broke their gaze, looking off into the distance, then she sighed.
“I know…what happened to you, for the most part. What drove you to…do what you did, but I can’t forgive you for what happened after. I may not have treated him well when we were growing up, and maybe I have no room to talk but…Naruto…he didn’t deserve what you put him through. He fought so long and so hard to help you and at every opportunity, you threw it in his face. And I get it, its hard to accept help sometimes. The Yamanaka are know for their ability to delve into the human mind. I know what kind of agony and hatred trauma leaves in a person’s mind, the emotional scars that linger long after, everything you did after what happened to your clan makes sense, and as Naruto has told us, its understandable and had you left it at that after Kaguya was sealed, I wouldn’t be in your face right now.”
She met his eyes once more.
“But you didn’t leave it there. You made him suffer right after. You don’t understand…you didn’t just take his arm, you took pieces of his heart. He hurt for you when you left the first time, he hurt watching you spiral out of control, he hurt when you forced him to fight you and he still hurts for you now.”
He could refute none of it.
And he could take back none of it.
He knew the extent to which he’d hurt his friend. It haunted his every waking moment.
“Like I said,” she continued, “Naruto is special, he’s a special kind of good that's so rare in this world. He means a lot to everyone, and not just here in Konoha. In light of that, I’ll respect his decision about you, and we’ll tolerate each other going forward. But there’s one thing I need to say, one thing I want you to pay real close attention to.”
Fire burned in her blue eyes.
“Don’t hurt him…please don’t. He’s been through so much in his life, he’s still going through shit now. So please, don’t make his life harder. Don’t bring more pain into his life. If you can’t do that, if you can’t promise that, then for the love of God, leave him alone. Let him be happy with the life he has now. He’s going to be the next Hokage, he’s getting married and settling down. Even with the world outside going to shit, in this village, in the apartment he share’s with Hinata, he’s happy. Don’t ruin that for him. If you can do that, then this will be the only conversation we have about this.”
Naruto could rip his other arm from his body before he ever caused him another moment of torment. He’d tear it from his own body if he had to.
“I have no reticence making that promise,” he told her honestly, “I vowed it years ago, on that day.”
They both knew what he meant by ‘that day’. The day he’d pitted himself against his friend, fully intending to kill him. To fulfill that vow, Sasuke had been prepared to end his life then and there. Had Naruto not stayed his hand, had he not asked him to remain in this world and help him protect the Village, they wouldn’t be having this conversation.
There would’ve been no need to.
She gave him a doubtful look but said nothing.
“On to the next,” she announced, propping a hand on her rounded hip, “Sakura.”
Though the two had a contentious relationship from what he recalled, he knew that had either waned severely or was no longer the case for the two kunoichi. The gleaming in her frosty depths would suggest the latter.
“The amount of time she spent crying over you…years. Even to this day she cries. You hurt her too, just the same as Naruto, but you also left a hole in her heart…but that’s not something I can fully blame you for,” she admitted, “You can’t help who you love, nor can you expect the one you love to return those feelings. I’m not here to chew you out over her broken heart, all I’m asking is for you to make things…clear to her, whatever your feelings. If you don’t have romantic feelings towards her, tell her that. You know how she feels, she’s told you more than once, if its never happening between you, let her down easy, don’t jerk her around. She’s…she’s been through so much since you left…both times you left. And if you can’t even be bothered to do something so simple as read her letters then cut her loose.”
Despite what he thought, that he couldn’t give her what she wanted, he couldn’t rightly say how he felt about her. She was special to him, just as Naruto was, but when he thought of her in the romantic sense, things became murky.
He still saw the young, pink haired girl that bulled her way next him for naught but his looks and infamy. During their time as a team, he had had so much going on in his life, her being female had barely registered. There were moments where he felt a softness towards her, an inkling of something he knew was care and affection, but to what degree, he wasn’t sure. Even now, he couldn’t answer how he viewed their relationship to each other.
He didn’t…know her anymore.
Nor she him.
What she had chased was the past. What she had now, was the present.
“And if you can’t even be a good friend to her, well then, I’ll tell you the same thing I told you for Naruto, stay the hell away from her.”
That said, Ino stepped purposefully around him and into the building.
xxxxxx
My fingers and wrists are sore T_T
I know Sakura and Sasuke talked before he left, but please remember, this is a divergent from cannon.In this story, it didn't happen.
So I’ll be up front, I have a vague idea how I want to portray the Sasuke/Sakura dynamic, though I don’t think it’ll be the extent to which NaruHina is considering my love for each pairing is vastly different. And though I like her now, I wasn’t really a fan of Sakura while watching Naruto or Shippuden, but that’s because I didn’t like seeing my poor Naruto all abused, and I really didn’t see much substance behind her until she teamed up with granny Chiyo, even after, it was hit and miss. I know people will feel differently, but those are just my feelings about her. Now in my story, I’ve been trying to add the depth I felt like she didn’t have and I’m happy with how she turned out, but I’m letting you all now ahead a time. I’m cool with Sakura/Sasuke, I’m PASSIONATE about NaruHina, lol. There’s a difference.
Anyway, let me know what you guys think.
Laters
~Sessakag
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