Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Soup's On	By : OfFansAndFlames Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1793 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters mentioned. I make no money on this fiction.

Chapter List
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Sasuke stormed down the streets for the next mile. He'd been so angry that he had walked right past his bus stop, which was just fine with him. As badly as he had wanted to go home earlier tonight, he needed his privacy now. He knew that Naruto would be asking him questions the instant the door opened, maybe trying to start some meaningless conversation or shower him in affections. Normally, that was just fine. It was what they did. But not tonight.

How could he speak to Naruto after everything that had just happened? How would he be able to pretend that this had just been as boring of a night as any? He hoped that today had gone better for Naruto than it had for him. Without his knowledge, his steps had slowed. He glanced down at his cell phone, noting that it was barely ten. It seemed uncanny that so much content could be crammed within such a short time frame, but then again, if anyone could appreciate this concept it would be Sasuke.

Even knowing that he still had almost three miles ahead of him, Sasuke began to wander. He'd made the decision now to walk rather than bus home. He knew that Itachi wouldn't be setting foot inside their home for days, if not weeks, so this was a safe decision in those regards. The walk would certainly do nothing for his fever, but he couldn't face Naruto just yet. Why did the thought of lying to Naruto make him feel so badly? Who would it hurt, anyway?

As he moved onward, the area began to clear up. He reached a familiar gas station, which, for all its triviality, reassured him. The red lights hung on the clean windows, advertising cigarette cartons for $45 and hot dogs for a buck. As the anger abated, so too did his adrenaline. He was safe now, comforted by familiar territory. Now that the crisis had been averted, his mind ran its course.

His last words to Kabuto replayed in his mind. "Who says there's a next time?" He could hear the certainty in those words now as well as he had when they were spoken. Yet he had acted out of anger, and perhaps uncharacteristically, without thought. Did there have to be a next time? He hadn't committed himself. In fact, he'd sold his entire inventory yesterday. He had timed it so that he could make his decisions based on the way tonight progressed. It would be simple to just tell Kabuto that he wasn't interested anymore. …Well, theoretically.

But his brother was still in the hospital. In fact, Itachi found their financial situation so worrisome that he had knowingly postponed his surgery for those purposes. And what about Itachi's follow up surgery? The aftercare? He wanted Itachi to get the best treatment he realistically could. He'd told himself that he didn't want to take risks with his brother's life, and he certainly didn't. He'd told his loud-mouthed lover this with such intensity that even he had resorted to silence. After all that Itachi had done for him, making a few sacrifices for his brother was the least he could do. He had to start pulling his weight.

Then again, if he were in Itachi's position, he would never want his brother doing this for his sake. If Sasuke were imprisoned or even killed, then wouldn't it be Itachi who ended up alone? How would it benefit Itachi to recover, only to be broadsided with a fistful of Sasuke's legal issues? How badly would it hurt Itachi to lose the very last family member he had? What would happen to Naruto if Sasuke wasn't around to take care of him? These fears had appeared ill-grounded to Sasuke, but after tonight, they seemed realistic.

These were the thoughts that feuded against each other between his ears. He wasn't used to feeling so uncertain. Which thoughts were dictated by logic, and which by emotion? This was something Sasuke was ordinarily wonderful at figuring out. But between tonight and Itachi's recent close call, he was overwhelmed. He was forced to admit this to himself, but he'd keep it a secret. He knew that admitting this to himself and recognizing it as a weakness was the only way he'd remain rational.

He reached the intersection preceding his house, crossing the street as he finally reached his block. His sneakers pat the ground, one haphazardly after the next. He soon enough reached his door, and a part of him wished he hadn't. The lights were on. He'd been daydreaming about this all night, looking forward to the warmth, comfort and safety of his lover and his home. Yet this had become the second door he dreaded opening tonight. He turned the knob.

"Where the hell were you, bastard?"

Sasuke spaced out. Dammit, he thought he'd talked himself through this. Of course, he'd done amazingly in Orochimaru's apartment, where someone in his situation could've very understandably pissed themselves. It made this look like easy sailing.

"I'm only a couple hours late."

Naruto was still in Sasuke's outfit, one of his nicer long sleeved shirts with some standard jeans. His hair was a wreck, and he has paint splattered on his shoe. Yet Naruto was wearing a hat that he didn't recognize.

"So, how was your little playdate with your friend?"

Sasuke grunted. What had he promised Naruto again? That he'd tell him if anything big happened? Sasuke seemed uninvolved, but the fact that it was unintentional this time worried Naruto.

"Ah… Is everything okay, Sasuke?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered bluntly.

"Okay, good. What were you guys doing? Weren't you going to watch that movie at his house? Oh, that… Right! Resident Evil. I didn't even know you liked movies like that, but like… Well, whatever."

Sasuke watched Naruto dully, a little more annoyed by his chattering than was his custom.

"But really, what were you doing? Did you really watch Resident Evil? Did you get anything to eat? Did you bring me back any treats? Oh! Did you go to…"

Sasuke's head ached, his eyelids burned, and his mind refused to slow. And now, all this chattering, the words falling from Naruto's mouth grating his eardrums and outrunning his distracted mind's ability to process…

"Can you not pounce me like a fucking dog the instant I get home for once?" Sasuke snapped.

Naruto silenced immediately, staring downwards. He would've preferred that Naruto yell back at him, and he was honestly surprised that he hadn't. Sasuke wasn't stupid; he knew he'd hit an insecurity. Maybe Naruto did act a little bit too much like an excited puppy when he came home. Yet if this were the case, he had just kicked said puppy square in the face. This was likely Naruto's version of yelping.

He couldn't blame Naruto, really. To an extent, Sasuke could say he understood. He knew what it was like to spend his days in this empty house. But he had obligations elsewhere. Although most people involved meant little to him, he had things to occupy his time. No wonder Naruto was stir crazy and starved for attention. Sasuke exhaled softly.

"Sorry… It's not you. Just a long night."

Naruto nodded, still appearing rejected. So Sasuke would make his true feelings known through a more effective medium: food.

"Hungry?"

Naruto nodded again, and Sasuke smirked. This was familiar. Naruto had a way of calming him, and only now was he beginning to really relax. He could just pretend like tonight had never happened. But what had happened the last time he'd tried to leave Naruto out in the dark? And more importantly, hadn't he made a promise?

"C'mon. Let's finish off the spaghetti."

Naruto followed Sasuke with a smile.

"Did everything go well at the center?"

Naruto nodded frenetically.

"Everything went great! There's this girl named Sandy, and she's seventeen but has this boyfriend who's twenty-six! Her parents really don't like it, but she's going behind their backs. I hope she doesn't get pregnant…"

Naruto trailed off, appearing contemplative for only an instant before jumping to the next topic with equal enthusiasm.

"Then there's this guy named Franco who's had five wives. Five wives, Sasuke! And six brothers! Franco gave me this hat, see!"

He pointed up enthusiastically at his head.

"Fascinating," Sasuke answered dully. Naruto was still grinning like an imbecile.

"So, what did they have you doing there?" Sasuke asked idly.

Naruto merely chuckled.

"You don't wanna know. But here, have forty bucks."

He plopped the money in Sasuke's palm, grinning proudly. Sasuke knew how Naruto must've felt at the moment. To feel so helpless, then to finally contribute something, even if it was small… It felt wonderful.

"Thanks," Sasuke stated with a weak but genuine smile.

As the two of them approached the kitchen, Sasuke coughed. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, analyzing his features fully now. He was looking rather pale, with dark bags beneath his eyes. Naruto flipped his hand and placed his palm on Sasuke's forehead.

"Holy crap, dude! You're burning up!"

"Am I?"

"Yes! Get your ass in bed!"

"That's unnecessary."

"Remember what happened when you tried to make the bus? I'll kick your ass again, so help me Gandhi."

He sighed. Gandhi? What the hell? He'd missed Naruto after all.

"Gandhi was a pacifist, you know."

But Naruto's hands were already feeling his forearms, fingers, and nose.

"You're freezing! How long were you outside?"

"I walked home."

"What?! When you're sick like this?" Naruto paused, eyeing Sasuke now as the sophomore merely grunted. The blond continued, "I knew I shouldn't have let you go!"

Sasuke smiled back at Naruto dryly, finding the statement thoroughly ironic. He pressed his fingers between Naruto's furrowed brows. Naruto had not the slightest clue.

"Worry wart."

Naruto was literally dragging him to their bedroom, and Sasuke didn't fight him. He was dead tired, although equally hungry.

"You'd better feed me if you're going to drag me up here," Sasuke grumbled.

"Alright, alright."

Sasuke closed his eyes the instant his head hit the pillow. It felt amazing; it was what he'd been wanting ever since he left the hospital to attend to "business." Still, he doubted that he could sleep. Every time there was calm, his mind would begin to wander. Naruto left for the kitchen and soon came up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

"You were down there for a good half hour, and you come back with soup?"

Naruto laughed sheepishly and loudly, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm.

"Well, I kinda…tried to cook you something, but… It didn't really go…exactly as I planned?"

Sasuke stared at him flatly for a few seconds before snickering.

"Just clean it up, because I don't think I can."

He was starting to feel pretty dizzy, actually.

"Of course."

Naruto sat the bowl down on Sasuke's bedstand, and Sasuke slowly took his first bite of noodles. Only then did he realize how hungry he'd been. Right, he'd forgotten to eat today. The room was silent other than the sound of Sasuke quickly following one spoonful with another.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Yeah?" he asked between bites.

"Were you…just in a bad mood because you're sick?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"According to you, I'm always in a bad mood."

"Yeah, but you were pretty bitchy even by your standards."

The Uchiha rolled his eyes.

"You'd be bitchy too if your voice made you sound like you swallowed thumbtacks."

"Yeah," Naruto laughed, "I guess so."

He took another bite, this time slowly chewing to fend off nausea.

"Naruto…" Sasuke trailed off. "I'm going to stay home tomorrow."

Naruto's face dropped momentarily. Each day Sasuke stayed home from school had taken every ounce of Naruto's persuasiveness, and sometimes some brute strength to boot. And now Sasuke was volunteering to stay home? Something was off.

"Finally you're making sense, bastard. I can't wait to pamper you."

"You fuss too much."

"You do things that make me fuss too much."

Sasuke's breathing slowed as he finally finished his soup. He was full now, and he felt stronger. Naruto appeared indecisive as the silence lengthened, disturbed by it as was his practice.

"Sasuke, what happened tonight?"

Naruto asked as if there had been no doubt in his mind. For all he knew, Sasuke could've just been irritable because he was sick. Sasuke wondered how his lover knew the difference.

"I think…" Sasuke paused, and he thought hard. "This whole selling business…"

Naruto perked up.

"Never mind," Sasuke stated with a frown, facing away from Naruto.

Naruto, however, would hear none of this. Was Sasuke reconsidering? Naruto wouldn't let an opportunity like that slip.

"Nuh uh, don't think so."

"What?"

"Uzumaki Naruto does not accept 'never mind.'"

Sasuke scoffed. He didn't want to finish his thought. He didn't want to be committed to a decision, though he reluctantly realized that this type of pressure was just what he needed. And who better to administer it than Naruto? Still, it didn't make him any less reluctant.

"I'm having second thoughts."

Sasuke's eyes fell to his hands for only an instant before they looked up directly at Naruto's face. Naruto had been waiting to hear these words from Sasuke for weeks now. He understood why Sasuke felt like he needed to deal drugs, though he thought it was a stupid idea from the start. He constantly worried for Sasuke. What if he got caught? What effect would this have on Sasuke's future? More selfishly, Naruto feared that he might never see Sasuke again.

Naruto didn't know whether he was more relieved or more shocked, and this was definitely made evident by his facial expressions. The words felt very heavy leaving Sasuke's mouth. It was a bold statement for him to make, and he felt that in doing so, he was giving up on fighting for his brother.

"I'm glad."

Sasuke frowned in response. He was a very dedicated man, and once he had his sights on something, it would take hell freezing over for him to give up. Giving up was nothing to be glad about.

"If you don't mind me asking, why the change? Did something happen tonight?"

He's promised he'd tell Naruto if anything "big" happened. He'd given his word. He hated being so open, however.

"No, everything's fine. It was more what could have happened."

Naruto sat down next to Sasuke on the bed, petting his forehead. At times like this, he seemed so maternal. As frequently as Sasuke wanted to resist it, it comfortably reminded him of something he now missed.

"Tell me about it."

"Remember, after Itachi got admitted to the hospital… When I told you that I was going to be more diligent about things?"

Naruto huffed, "Yeah, I remember alright."

"I'm not going into details, but… I have to stop before something bad happens."

A loud groan, and Naruto dramatically lifted his head up, rubbing his temples.

"Why would you do this to me?"

"Hm?"

"'I'm not going into details," Naruto mocked Sasuke with his best caricature. "You know what my imagination is doing right now, right? Like I'm picturing people shooting at you and some sort of fucking massacre. Maybe a high speed pursuit in there somewhere. Who did you kill today, Sasuke?"

"You're so weird."

"God, you're always so secretive and…annoying. Just tell me what happened and save me from myself."

Sasuke hesitated. Naruto's curiosity and concern were both phenomenally obvious, and Naruto probably was unaware of how close his face was to Sasuke's. He'd probably just pester Sasuke until he spilled the beans anyhow. With that vague reference, Sasuke had already reached the point of no return. At this point, why not save the hassle?

"Fine. I was supposed to meet this higher up guy who makes his own stuff. They paid me four hundred bucks just to show up. I get there, and just before I enter the building, this guy shoves a gun in my hand."

Naruto's eyes bulged so dramatically that Sasuke was tempted to laugh.

"A gun?! Like a real gun?"

"Yeah, a genuine , specifically."

Naruto made several horribly unsuccessful attempts at speaking.

"A .45. I never had to use it," Sasuke assured. "We basically exchanged some cash for some drugs I didn't even recognize were on our way."

"Why the hell did you take it?!" Naruto nearly shouted.

"He did it at the last minute. By the time I processed what it was, the door was opening. So I just had to stuff it."

"Oh my god…"

Sasuke covered his eyes with his hand and sighed.

"What are you looking so shocked for? I thought you were imagining shoot outs."

"I was lying!" Naruto shouted, flailing his hands in the air.

Sasuke tsk'd and punched Naruto in the arm, a little rough but not enough to cause real pain.

"Dick."

Of course Naruto was lying. But was it really that much of a stretch? Naruto did worry about him far more than was necessary. It was reasonable to suspect that his imagination had run away with him. Naruto frowned, wringing his hands together. He glanced over at Sasuke, then the wall, then his hands, then back to Sasuke.

"That could've been really bad, Sasuke."

He motioned Sasuke to lie down, his soup long gone. The Uchiha shivered as Naruto tucked him under the covers.

"I know," Sasuke answered slowly, "But in the end, it wasn't."

Naruto's voice was louder when he responded, his frustration evident, "You always say stuff like that. If you keep thinking that way, it'll catch up with you for sure."

Sasuke frowned. Naruto knew that if he tried to force Sasuke to stop what he was doing, Sasuke could easily find a way to circumvent him. It would only make Sasuke obstinate and get him nowhere in the end. Regardless, it was so tempting to forcefully bludgeon some sense into Sasuke.

"I promised him I'd take care of him. I can't go back on my word."

Yet Naruto sensed his uncertainty. Was it really possible that Naruto could change his mind? What could Naruto say to win him over?

"You have to remember why you're doing everything you've been doing: for your brother. So how do you think your brother will feel when his only remaining family member is in jail or dead? That's more important than any promise. You are his only family. Do not leave him."

Sasuke stared back at Naruto quietly, sighing deeply before resting his face in his hand.

"Fuck…"

Had he ever felt this conflicted before? He felt that giving up was weakness, cowardice, and selfishness. But if his actions ended up hurting more than they helped in the end, what was the point? He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. The skin was hot. His body temperature had risen with the cold night air, and his mind ached from all this thought.

"I suppose it won't do Itachi any good if he gets out of the hospital and has no one to take care of him."

This too would break his promise to take care of Itachi. The stakes had elevated. Naruto had a point: leaving Itachi alone might be one of the worst things Sasuke could do to him. He remembered what Itachi had said as Sasuke questioned him in his hospital room:

When I am happy, you're the reason why.

Naruto tried not to stare, as he knew this might cause Sasuke to retreat. What was happening? What was Sasuke thinking?

"But how can I leave him if he dies first?" Sasuke mumbled, his voice barely audible.

"Sasuke, you know the hospital will operate if his condition deteriorates that much. They're watching him now."

How could Naruto speak with such certainty? What if they were hesitant to operate? What if they weren't as careful because he couldn't pay the money up front? There was far too much he couldn't control, couldn't know. And he knew all too well how quickly someone could disappear.

"You can't know that."

Sasuke was being illogical, and he knew it. Still, could he really give up? It seemed inconceivable.

"Sasuke," Naruto frowned, leaning over Sasuke as he ran his hands through Sasuke's bangs, tucking them behind his ear. His forehead was so hot… "Don't let fear control you."

He gritted his teeth. Fear? Wasn't he too strong for such a thing?

"I'm not afraid. I just…"

Sasuke had considered straightening up to be the real sign of fear. He started selling hoping to be brave and selfless, to care for someone other than himself for once. This is why he refused to give up, refused to be dissuaded by doubts regarding his health and legal record. And it was true that he wanted Itachi to live a long, healthy life. He wanted him to see more than the chaos and misery of the past year. Itachi had so much potential. How could Sasuke let that go to waste? He wanted to take the stress of finding the money off of Itachi, given that he had already taxed Itachi's very limited energy so much.

Yet from the very beginning, his decisions had been biased by the intensity of his anxiety, and yes, his fear. Insidiously and slowly, it had derailed his ordinarily sound sense of logic and reason. He was still selling for Itachi. But perhaps more so, he was selling because the thought of being alone scared the living shit out of him. And so, in the end, he had succumbed to fear without even realizing it.

He had believed he was too strong and smart to allow emotions to slant his decisions. Perhaps this was arrogant and naïve, believing that he was above the common population in such a way, but Sasuke held himself accountable to higher standards. It was perhaps time to reevaluate his plan of action, but his pride refused to let him acknowledge that Naruto was right.

Sasuke turned away from Naruto, rolling onto his side in a gesture that might appear childish. Naruto knew that his words had penetrated.

"Yeah…" Sasuke answered simply.

"Yeah what?"

Naruto's voice was patient, delicately encouraging him to continue.

"It's bullshit."

"Promise me that you'll stop."

Silence. Could he really make that commitment? He didn't want to again make the mistake of promising things he wasn't sure he could deliver. It was dangerous. But perhaps this would give him the strength to resist his temptations, even if only through a sense of moral obligation.

"Okay. I'll stop."

"I'm proud of you, bastard," Naruto stated, as if such a compliment were too sweet for Sasuke to take unspiced with his standard nickname.

"Don't patronize me," Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto merely snickered in response. He was trying to read whether Sasuke felt embarrassed by the compliment, or if he just needed Naruto to reassure him that he really deserved it. Of course, the generally blunt Sasuke could never directly request such a thing. And what did "patronize" mean, anyway?

"I'm serious. It was a tough decision."

"It's…unfortunate that I wasn't able to do more for him."

Naruto pursed his lips as he stared down at Sasuke, who peered back up at him. Every now and again, he'd catch glimpses of self-doubt, guilt, and uncertainty in Sasuke. It was rare, and he wondered how many people had seen this side of him.

"Sasuke, you're fifteen years old and raised almost three thousand dollars, not to mention the fact that you loaned Itachi your entire college fund. Itachi doesn't even know about all the money you have stuffed away in your drawer."

"And I could make five hundred more if I'd call the number in my pocket, but I won't to save my own skin," Sasuke interrupted.

"Whose number?" Naruto asked skeptically.

"It doesn't matter," Sasuke answered stubbornly. "The point is that I'm not doing it."

"Dude, are you serious? You've gone beyond anyone's expectations. It still boggles my mind that you were able to come up with this much cash so fast, even if you had a dumb way of doing it."

Sasuke grumbled, feeling both complimented and insulted at the same time.

"I don't care what other people expect of me. I expected more of myself. I expected to keep my word," he replied severely.

Naruto laughed.

"What the hell's so funny?"

"I'm sorry. But sometimes it's just a little funny how much you expect from yourself. You expect yourself to take care of both Itachi and me, and afford this surgery that costs a fucking assload in a matter of months. Meanwhile, you send yourself to school with fevers and bloody shirts because God forbid you get an A minus. You act like you're supposed to be superhuman or something."

It seemed logical enough when it was phrased that way. But still, Naruto didn't get it. Sasuke wasn't just anyone. Perhaps he again was arrogant, believing that he could not be compared to the rest of humanity. Regardless, these high expectations made him smarter, more diligent, and stronger. He hated it when people dismissed him as "just a kid."

"Tch. I would never go to school in a bloody shirt. It's your fault that I couldn't change."

"I get this feeling that you're missing the point," Naruto answered as he scratched the back of his head.

"Itachi could've done it," Sasuke muttered quietly, looking towards the wall with a frown on his face.

"I don't…think even Itachi could've done this. Sasuke, you're stopping because you're being smart, not a coward. I know you want to save your brother and live by your promise, but if you end up in juvie, or even worse, you break your promise too."

Sasuke allowed Naruto's words to sink in. Guilt and fear had hijacked his thoughts up to this point, but Naruto strengthened his resolve.

"Okay…" He took a deep inhale. "I'll tell Kabuto that I'm out for good the next time I see him."

He was frightened by the future, angry with himself for giving up. Yet in some ways felt relieved. He could just do away with all of this. No more stealing, no more parties, no more dealing… He could never become the person he was before the fire. That former version of himself had been obliterated beyond resurrection. But at the very least, he could progress towards the goals he'd held since childhood. He could go back to life before the fire as best he knew how. He felt free.

"Promise?"

"I'm done. I promise."

"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that. You've got one proud boyfriend."

No one knew the whole story… That is, no one other than Naruto. He kept thinking to himself that as proud as his brother was, as impressed as his friends seemed to be, that if anyone knew the whole story… They would feel nothing but disappointment towards him. Sasuke wasn't one to be affected by praise; after all, he'd been eyes deep in it his entire life. However, this time, it mattered.

Naruto leaned downwards, his now smooth lips gently brushing against Sasuke's. The paler boy looked up at Naruto and smiled, the room beginning to swim around him. His eyelids began to droop, and very quickly, he drifted off to a deep sleep.
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Soup's On