Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

All For the Sake of Pleasure	By : Kanemoshi Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 8220 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters and did not make any money from creating this story.

Chapter List
- 30
- 31
- 32
Chapter Thirty One
Iruka could not help but slide his fingers along Kakashi's forehead, brushing back a strand of hair that had been covering the jounin's closed eye. He smiled as his lover did not even stir at the gentle caress. If anything, the ever-present lines of stress scattered across the powerful man's face eased at Iruka's touch.
It was only while asleep that Kakashi lost that last fierceness that kept most people at a distance. Iruka knew it was not a conscious choice on Kakashi's part. It was a defense mechanism, just like Naruto's trickery, Sasuke's glares and Iruka's blushes. Kakashi simply clung to an aura that made people realize just how dangerous he could be. It was something that, even while laughing or leering, was always present, reminding everyone that Kakashi had a well-earned reputation for mercilessly slaughtering enemies.
But Iruka had seen him for who he was. He had watched as Kakashi took care of his precious ninken, treating them as beloved family members and not mere animals that he could command. He had studied the jounin as Kakashi trained Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura as teens – and how he took care of them now, whether or not they realized it.
He had stared in amazement as Kakashi cradled Saki in arms that were strong enough to crush an adult, much less a fragile baby. He had been in awe to see the care with which Kakashi rocked Saki to sleep. He had listened as his powerful, dangerous lover whispered to Saki, his gentle tones lulling the baby to sleep just as much as the stories he wove solely for his son.
The first time Iruka had slept with Kakashi, he had not appreciated the other side of the Copy Ninja, the side that Kakashi had never let anyone see. At least, not until Iruka forced his way into Kakashi's life. Iruka had merely known the infamous Copy Ninja. He had heard about the man who Jiraiya went to for inspiration, the man who was the best lover anyone could dream of. Iruka had known a man who was almost inhuman – a man that did not exist beyond the public image Kakashi created for himself.
Iruka had not known the man who was tender and compassionate. A man who could laugh as he was drenched when giving a bath to Saki; a man who made no move to dodge the wave of water just to get the baby to giggle and squeal. A man who, even while recovering from chakra depletion, still had the energy to start training Saki to direct his transportation jutsu; a man who had put himself in a coma in the first place, using every ability at his disposal to find the baby and bring him home safely. The man who refused to fall asleep until Iruka was curled up in his arms, no matter how tired he was at the end of the day.
Now knowing the other side of the jounin – the side his lover revealed to very few people – Iruka could not believe he had once been afraid of Kakashi. How could he have possibly thought of him as another heartless jounin? How could he have assumed Kakashi used his position and fame to do whatever he wanted?
Smiling, Iruka let his fingers drift along the planes of his lover's face. He could feel dips of scars that were almost invisible against Kakashi's pale skin. Those scars were too many to count, but Iruka was certain each one was attached to a tale of bravery that Kakashi would modestly call just another mission.
Unable to help himself, Iruka thought up of stories to match the scars. The diagonal indentation against his temple was from when he had been nicked by a katana as he battled to save a princess. The almost undetectable mark that ran through the side of his lower lip had to be from catching a kunai in his mouth – a blade that would have otherwise killed the diplomat he was escorting to Konoha, thus averting another shinobi war. With a quiet snort, Iruka shook his head. The worst part was that his stories were not so far-fetched. He had heard about Kakashi's adventures from Naruto and Sasuke so often that it seemed almost normal to have Kakashi protecting nobility and keeping world peace.
Still amused by Kakashi's idea of "average" missions, Iruka moved his fingers along his lover's well-defined jaw. He could feel the minute bumps and dips along the bone, revealing just how many times Kakashi's jaw had been broken in the past. Those must have been from a number of missions and punches from enemies whose strength rivaled Tsunade's. Finished with his lover's jaw, Iruka's touch dropped to his neck, skimming along the powerful, even pulse that told him Kakashi was still asleep.
There was only one mark on Kakashi's neck, unlike the rest of his scarred body. Iruka winced, his amusement disappearing as he recognized the pearly, puckered scar that wrapped around his lover's neck for what it was. For once, Iruka did not have to make up a story as he ran his fingers along the uneven skin. Kakashi had been hanged.
A cold shiver ran down his back at that realization. Biting his lip, Iruka's eyes filled with angry tears. If he could, he would kill whoever had dared to torture Kakashi so. Whips, blades, fire – shinobi were taught to ignore the pain of torture. But how could he learn to cope with the feeling of helplessly suffocating? His legs kicking, but it was futile because they were no longer touching the floor; his arms either bound or free to scratch uselessly at his throat as his strength dropped as quickly as his oxygen levels.
Shinobi were trained to look beyond momentary pain, but hanging was far more than just physical pain. It was the uncertainty whether this time would be the one their attackers did not take them down soon enough; it was the fear that they might die without the chance to save themselves.
Gingerly, Iruka pressed his lips against the scar, knowing no amount of physical healing could repair the damage such a thing had done to Kakashi. But how could Kakashi have been captured? How could one of the greatest shinobi in Konoha been tortured so ruthlessly?
There was only one mission Iruka was aware of that Kakashi had been on that ended badly – one that his lover had only spoken of once.
It was a mission that no seventeen year old boy should have gone on in the first place, even if he had been an ANBU captain by then. Iruka did not care about the particulars of Kakashi's mission. All that mattered was that his lover had been captured and tortured to the point even so many years later the medical report brought tears to Tsunade's eyes.
Iruka's eyes shifted across his lover's body as though they had a mind of their own. He did not want to look at further evidence of Kakashi's pain, but he could clearly see the scars around his lover's wrists. He could imagine the thick chains, laced with chakra, that were used to restrain the powerful teenager. It was obvious the metal had bitten into skin, shredding flesh with each attempt Kakashi made to free himself. Even the smallest of movements would have dug into already raw wounds. After a while, the pain could be ignored, as could the warm, almost constant flow of blood as the chains finally sawed through to the bone.
These were marks that any shinobi would recognize – and ones Kakashi had somehow always kept hidden by wearing his ever-present gloves and mask.
As he touched the pale, delicate skin that marked his lover's wrists, Iruka's eyes burned not with tears, but fury. Never before had he wanted to harm another person, but right now, he would gladly have slaughtered all who had a part in Kakashi's capture and torture.
Was this what had gotten Tsunade to cry? The medical report that detailed each of the injuries Kakashi had sustained? Or was it the involuntary attempts of her mind trying to imagine such a scenario, much as Iruka was doing now? With a gentle brush of his fingers against his lover's scarred chest, Iruka had the feeling that being bound and hung were just the beginning.
"I was cocky."
Iruka jumped at the sound of his lover's voice, which was little more than a deep rumble that, at any other time, would have aroused the brunet. "W-Wha?" Iruka stammered as his gaze shifted from Kakashi's scarred wrist to his face. A pair of mismatched eyes studied him with a wisdom no one their age should ever possess.
"I was the youngest ANBU captain to exist – I thought I was untouchable," Kakashi explained quietly as he shifted, moving to sit up against the pillows. For a brief moment, Iruka considered apologizing for waking up his obviously tired lover with his gentle touches, but he was not given the chance to speak. "I took an assassination mission with half the backup I should have had. As we were returning to Konoha, we realized we were being followed. I sent the entire team ahead of me, saying I could handle them…"
Iruka listened in horrified silence. It was one thing to know that Kakashi – even now – took unnecessary risks, but to imagine him as a mere boy doing the same was far more terrifying. The fact that his team even followed his asinine orders was almost as bad.
"They just kept coming…I couldn't hold them off. They finally knocked me out," Kakashi said, his voice frighteningly calm, as though he was just repeating a boring mission report. Iruka suppressed a shiver, knowing just how difficult it was for Kakashi to speak about his capture. He could see it in the tiny furrow between Kakashi's pale eyebrows and the firm set of his lips. He could hear it in the slight quickening of his breathing. Worst of all, he could feel it as Kakashi's muscles tensed, prepared to fight an invisible attacker from his past.
"Kakashi…you don't have to talk ab-" Iruka's protests were cut off with just a single strained chuckle from his lover.
"I do, Iruka," Kakashi stated as he shifted, brushing his lips against Iruka's forehead in the sweetest kiss the brunet had ever experienced. In that single action, Iruka could understand Kakashi's reasoning. Finally, after nearly two decades of living with the painful memories all alone, Kakashi had found someone he trusted enough to talk about that mission.
"I was cocky. I couldn't help but have a little fun with the mission. I teased our target, terrifying him, for days before I completed the mission, so his followers knew which ANBU member to go after. They had read me perfectly. They knew I would be stupid enough to stay behind and fight them. They meant to teach me a lesson – to use me as an example and warn Konoha never to come after them again.
"When I came to, I was chained to a wall." Kakashi brought up one of his scarred wrists, his smile bittersweet as he studied the pearly marks that almost blended into his natural skin color. "Imagine their surprise when they pulled off my mask and recognized me because of the Sharingan." Kakashi's smile turned downward as his fingers moved to cover up his scarred eyelid as though it would hide the fact he was one of the most unique shinobi in the world. "They wanted to humiliate me before killing me and sending my body back to the village. They only gave me enough water to survive – but no food, afraid it might give me just enough strength to escape.
"But I didn't learn my lesson yet…I taunted them. Idiot that I was, I laughed every time they hit me. I mocked them for being weak and stupid as they hung me up by my wrists until my arms were pulled out of the socket." Kakashi's voice finally began to crack as he closed his eyes, obviously reliving that horrible time in his life. "It became a game for me – to see how angry I could make them.
"I didn't care about how much they hurt me. I didn't care that every comment I made resulted in just worse torture. I accepted that I was going to die – but I refused to go down without taking a few of them with me. So I infuriated them, just waiting for them to make a mistake. I purposely mocked them for their incompetence in not being able to protect their leader until they found one way to shut me up."
Kakashi's fingers drifted to his neck, touching the uneven flesh that marked him as being a survivor of horrendous torture. His hand wrapped around his neck in an unconscious portrayal of the rope that had held him up, strangling him until he passed out. During those times, he had wished that his captors would miscalculate and hold him up just a little too long…that that would be the time he would not wake up from the darkness. In that moment of silence, as he watched his lover touch his scarred neck, Iruka somehow found the ability to release the breath he had been holding in.
"And still I was an idiot." Kakashi finally broke the silence with a strained chuckle. "Even as my voice started failing me, my throat becoming so scarred, it was painful to speak, I got them to stop playing games. A-And they decided to just have a little more fun before killing me…"
Even though he could feel Iruka's warm body pressed against his own, a cold shiver went through Kakashi as he recalled the pain that had been his only constant companion during that time. He could all but feel the hard, stone wall against his back. He could not know if it was water or blood that slid down his shoulder blades and spine. It was too dark to see anything other than the outline of his victim's son – the worst of the bunch. The monstrously large man was easily four times Kakashi's size, though that was not saying much. He had been even ganglier as a teenager and starvation had stripped most of the muscle from his body.
A single punch was all it had taken for Kakashi to laugh out loud, ignoring the unexpected twinge of pain it sent through his raw back. The burning sensation reminded him that he had been whipped, though he could not even recall when it had been. It could have been hours or weeks – Kakashi had lost all track of time in that dark hellhole. All he had known was that his captors were becoming increasingly cruel.
Kakashi had pressed the back of his head against the cold stone, letting out a sigh. He had not had water in far too long and his body was already feeling the effects. What little he could lick off of the wall was just enough to keep him conscious.
Who would have thought he would die like this? He had such promise – everyone had whispered that he may even become the next Hokage in a few years, once he got a little older. What would they say now if they could see him? Chained to a wall in some insignificant bastard's dungeon, trembling from lack of food and water, covered in his filth and blood, but still tempting his attackers to do their worst? Would they believe that Kakashi happily awaited the final stroke? Another punch had jarred him from his thoughts of death.
Oi, I didn't say you could sleep, you worthless piece of shit.
Is that all you ladies got or are you going to finally send the real men in? His words were garbled and raspy, thanks to a broken jaw and dangling from a rope around his neck countless times.
If you don't shut up, Hatake, you'll regret it!
Oooh, I'm scared. You girls really know how to show a guy a good time.
I'll show you, you little prick.
Iruka watched the emotion plague his lover's face. He did not need Kakashi's eyes open to know that his lover was reliving a pain no one should have to deal with. Gently, so not to shock his lover out of his memories, Iruka brushed his fingers against Kakashi's cheek. He almost jerked his hand back when he felt the streaks of wetness on his lover's skin.
Kakashi had laughed at those words, but the unmistakable sound of his attacker undoing his belt had almost silenced him. He had somehow kept himself laughing despite the trickle of fear that ran down his back. Even when he felt rough hands grasp his sore neck, forcing his gaze upwards, Kakashi did not let an ounce of that terror show in his features.
Turn him over and hold him.
That phrase was not as sickening as the sour smell of his captor's breath against his face. It was nothing compared to the moist puffs of air against his neck or the slimy feel of a tongue against his broken collar bone that sent cold shivers down his back. Kakashi could not even muster up the strength to fight as his captor's lackeys had turned him around, pressing his face and chest against the wall that, from its metallic taste, was coated not in water but his blood.
So this was it? This was how he was going to die? Raped and tortured by assholes who had caught him out of sheer luck and his own idiocy? Of all the ways he imagined one day dying, he had at least expected to go out in shining glory. It was the wish of all shinobi to die honorably, but to Kakashi, it was a necessity.
Fingers wove through his hair, wrenching his head backwards and to the side as that tongue left a slippery trail along the side of his neck and face. Despite his best attempts, Kakashi shivered in revulsion.
You like that? Hmm? A pretty boy like you - you've probably been fucked by more cocks than you can count.
Despite the nausea that hit him as a large hand brushed against the tattered remains of his pants, Kakashi somehow let out a strangled laugh. He would not show them a moment of fear, no matter how much it cost him to plaster a smile on his face.
You mean you have a dick? I thought you were girls – I mean, you hit like one.
And, in one phrase, Kakashi had guaranteed his fate. He did not even feel the blade slice his hip as his last shred of clothing was cut from him, leaving him exposed in far more ways than physical. Even though he could not see the bastards, Kakashi could feel their gazes travel across his backside, sending ripples of disgust through him. He could all but taste their lust in the air. As his legs were forcibly spread, Kakashi let up the small prayer that they would be quick. He was not so lucky.
Despite the numbness of his entire body – the only way to cope with his injuries – a searing jolt of agony ripped through him with the first thrust. It was as though he was being torn apart from the inside out. Unable to stop himself, he cried out as he was crushed against the wall, his healing wounds reopening from the abrasive rock, though those injuries did not even hurt in comparison to the agony of being raped.
Damn…so tight. Kakashi shivered as those words drifted against his ear. If by some miracle he survived this, he would never forget that gravelly voice or the sheer pleasure it contained. Nor would he forget the laughs and cheers that his next comment raised. Boys, I think we have a little virgin on our hands…let's show him a good time.
"T-They raped me, hoping it would finally break me."
Iruka's fingers froze at his lover's words, his heart breaking from the unrestrained pain in Kakashi's voice. Slowly, Kakashi opened his eyes and studied the brunet with a mixture of shame and regret. If he could have formed words, Iruka might have considered saying the only thing that could come to his mind. I'm sorry. But what could his apology do now?
"When I thought they were done…they would just start all over again," Kakashi ground out slowly as he dropped his head back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling as though it would somehow give him strength. "After a while, I just tuned them out. I found ways to ignore it…so they found new ways to keep my attention…"
What's this? You're not…falling asleep on me…are you? Grunts of pleasure broke up the question, though to Kakashi's ears, it all sounded the same. He had grown all too accustomed to hearing how much his captors enjoyed this.
I-I was thinking 'bout i-it…
Kakashi did not even get the chance to laugh as he felt the bite of a blade against his inner thigh. Slowly, the tip of the kunai danced along his skin. If it was not so dark in the room, he knew he would see the kunai leaving a trail of red as blood bubbled up from torn flesh. Surprisingly, however, the pain of the knife was nothing compared to the uneasiness that crept up on him as the blade's path moved upwards. When he realized what the bastard had in mind, he could not stop himself from instinctively struggling. He did not care that he was forcing his attacker's cock even deeper with his wriggling.
All that mattered was that he got the kunai away from his groin.
Oooh, I think someone likes it.
If he could have trusted himself to say anything other than a desperate plea to stop, Kakashi would have unclenched his teeth. Instead, he only struggled all the more, though his attempts were pitifully weak. Going so long without food or sufficient water had stripped him of all his once-renowned strength. His Sharingan and accumulated jutsu were equally useless, requiring chakra he no longer had enough of.
It was all too easy for them to pin him as Takeshi – he had learned his main torturer's name by that point – continued to glide the kunai up his inner thigh. It would have been easy if the blade's path was straight and predictable. Instead, it swirled in an abstract design, lifting just enough that it scratched his skin only to suddenly be plunged deep into the little bit of muscle Kakashi had left. He cried out, unable to silence himself, as the blade bit into his groin. Kakashi did not move, however, knowing that a single sudden jerk may very well remove his balls from his body. If the blade moved any higher, he could sneeze and be castrated at the same time. It was an unsettling thought.
Somehow, Kakashi found the strength to moan as Takeshi continued pounding into him. He knew anything less would result in him losing body parts. He bit back bile as he pretended to enjoy being raped by an asshole who had to threaten to unman Kakashi just to get a response out of him. Even as the bastard finished, Kakashi felt the sting of the blade against the base of his cock.
Not bad, brat. But not good enough, he had whispered against Kakashi's neck. Without warning, the kunai jerked upwards forcefully, easily cutting through flesh. Even before the searing agony hit Kakashi, he was screaming, writhing as blood began to pour down his legs.
NO! Please! Noooo!
Shrieks filled the small, damp room – hoarse cries that Kakashi did not recognize as his own until Takeshi and his cronies were long gone, leaving him all alone. In time, he lost his voice and could make no other sound than pitiful, airy screams that were little more than sharp releases of air. Eventually his legs gave out. As he hung by his shredded wrists, not even caring that his arms were in absolute agony, the first tears hit him. He could not stop his sobs as they wracked his thin frame.
For the first time since his capture, Kakashi found himself broken.
Eventually, the pain ebbed into something bearable, though Kakashi somehow knew that it was more due to the blood loss than anything else. Beyond that, he could feel the stickiness between his legs that he had grown accustomed to since Takeshi started raping him. Though, for once, the metallic scent of blood overpowered the sickening aroma of semen.
And in that almost catatonic state, Kakashi had remained. Even when he heard the unmistakable sounds of a scuffle – of metal against metal and cries of pain – he did not react. He did not lift his gaze when he sensed someone unfamiliar enter the room, the person's gasp being the indicator that it was not Takeshi back for another round of sex.
He did not even flinch as gentle hands unlocked the chains that held him. Even before he had a chance to fall limply to the floor, arms caught him, gingerly holding him as though he was as fragile as china. If he could have, he would have laughed at the ridiculousness of that thought. Hatake Kakashi was many things, but fragile was not one of them.
Though it seemed no one informed this newcomer of that little fact. Kakashi could not recall the last time someone had touched him with such gentle hands, though it might not have been since his father fell into his depression before killing himself. Living ten years without knowing what it felt like to have a kind hand touch him – it was a saddening realization. Kakashi was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice he was slowly being lowered to the floor. So weak, Kakashi could not stop his head from lolling against the new man's chest.
…ke-san? Hatake-san? It took a few times for Kakashi to even recognize his own name on the person's tongue. It had been so long since he had heard someone say his name without a sneer or feeling an instant jolt of pain that Kakashi found himself blinking in surprise. Slowly, he tried to focus his gaze on the newcomer.
Even in this dim light, he recognized the pale mask of an ANBU member, though this mask looked to be one out of a nightmare. At least his had somewhat resembled a dog – this was just a monstrosity. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Kakashi realized that this must be the famed Beast, the fastest ANBU member to exist. But it was rumored he had retired a year or two ago. There must be some good reason he had donned his mask again.
Hatake-san…I am here to take you back to Konoha. Konoha? Kakashi blinked, not sure he understood the man right. Did Konoha truly exist or was that just another dream he had come up with just to keep his sanity? He had been living in this cold hell so long, he was not sure what was real anymore.
You probably can't hear me, but you've been here for a month.
Kakashi wanted to snort and snap at the man that he could hear him perfectly fine, but he couldn't find his voice. He was too weak to even open his mouth and every breath of air was a challenge. Instead of arguing, he listened in dazed silence as his apparent savior continued rambling nervously.
I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner…the Sandaime dragged me and a few others out of retirement so we could infiltrate the compound, but we had to be careful. We didn't know where you were being kept. I was sent ahead – avoiding them so I could get you out safely. Don't worry – all of them will be dead. No one hurts one of our own and gets away with it.
That last sentence stirred a memory in Kakashi's mind. Our own…he belonged somewhere? That's right. To be an ANBU member meant you would be retrieved no matter what. Most shinobi in the ANBU ranks were ones whose abilities, even after death, could be used against Konoha, so their bodies were brought back at all costs. If he could, he would have asked if they expected to find him alive or just return with a body. Then again, if he was able to speak, he would have demanded they leave Takeshi alive. He was going to slaughter the bastard himself.
If he had the strength, Kakashi would have cringed at the feeling of Beast's gentle hands touching his body. But, as he lay against the ANBU member, he realized that this was not the lewd caress of Takeshi or his other captors – this one was compassionate. It was as though Beast was doing his best to not hurt Kakashi as he moved him in his arms. It was a strange, unexpected kindness.
Now, I've never met you, but I've heard about your penchant for secrecy. Though I have the feeling no one would want to be seen like this…
Even more surprising than his gentle touches was the almost forgotten feeling of something against his raw skin that did not cause him pain. It took him a pitifully long period of time to realize that the ANBU member had removed his cloak and was wrapping Kakashi in it. Kakashi could feel the scrape of soft, thick material against his naked flesh, realizing that every inch of his body other than his head was covered by the cloak.
If he was not delirious before, he was now as heat returned to his frigid body. Then again, he might have already lost his mind – because he had somehow conjured up a hallucination of a kindhearted ANBU member who had come to save him. Then, Kakashi got proof that he must be daydreaming…or he was finally dead. Because what human was understanding enough to remove his ANBU mask and place it over Kakashi's battered features so that no one else could catch a glimpse of the teenager whose face was always hidden? Only a hallucination could be so considerate.
By the way, Hatake-san, my name is Gai – and I think we're going to become the most youthful of friends when you get better.
"Kakashi?" Iruka quietly whispered his lover's name, part of him uncertain if he should pull the jounin out of his thoughts. But after silently watching the tears fall from his lover's eyes for a good half-hour, Iruka could not stand watching Kakashi suffer any more. Gently, he brushed his fingers against Kakashi's cheek, wiping away the streaks of saline. "Kakashi?"
"Hmm?" Slowly, Kakashi blinked, returning to the present. Seeing chocolate eyes studying him in concern, the last hold his memories had on him shattered. He was not in a cold, damp dungeon, but in Iruka's warm bed. He was not being carried out of the compound by Gai, but enveloped in his lover's strong arms.
"S-Sorry…I was thinking," Kakashi said with a shrug of his shoulder. It took him a moment to recall where he had left off with his much-abbreviated story. He was not going to lie to Iruka, but he was not sure if he would ever be able to speak about the terror and the desire to die he had felt in that dark time. It would be some time before he could even admit that, for months after returning to Konoha, Gai was the only person he would allow near him without having to be sedated or tied down.
"Kakashi, you really don't have to tell me – I understand," Iruka said as his fingers brushed against his lover's cheeks. The smallest of smiles crossed Kakashi's face as the jounin turned his head, pressing a kiss against Iruka's palm.
"It's just…Gai's really the only one who has any idea how bad it was…"
"Gai?" Iruka asked, trying to keep the surprise from his voice. Of all the people Kakashi opened up to, it seemed odd that he would pick the bubbly, quirky jounin. Then again, Gai was one of Kakashi's closest friends, so it shouldn't surprise him all that much.
"Gai was the one who found me…and carried me back to Konoha. Everyone else on the mission was curious, but he protected me. He refused to tell them about my injuries…or the state he found me in. Thankfully, the idiot knew a few healing jutsu so I didn't die from blood loss," Kakashi admitted haltingly, recalling just how much he had come to care about his friend in that short time. No one had ever stood up for him before. For that, Kakashi could deal with Gai's numerous idiosyncrasies.
"They knew I was tortured, but only Gai – and then the doctors – knew I was raped…mutilated…I-I was nearly castrated…" Before Iruka could repeat that odd phrase questioningly, his lover continued, "Takeshi, their leader, tortured me. He made me pretend to enjoy it…as he held a kunai to me…" All it took was a gesture for Iruka to understand his lover's meaning – and hate this Takeshi person with every fiber of his being. If the bastard was alive, he would track him down himself, but Kakashi's words pulled him from thoughts of vengeance. "I thought he would leave me alone if I did what he wanted. But…when Gai found me…all that was keeping it attached was a few millimeters of tissue."
Kakashi wished he had been less graphic when he saw Iruka's wince. But how else could he explain just why every medic he went to said he was lucky to have a penis, much less be able to father children? They were amazed he could actually become aroused after not just all the physical trauma, but the emotional and mental suffering he had gone through. The thought of his injuries healing enough for him to impregnate a woman was not a matter of time – it was impossible, as far as the medics were concerned, especially when they saw that Takeshi had done more subtle damage with his kunai. Severing the tubes connecting his balls to his body while doing next to no other damage was an impressive feat, so much so, Kakashi wasn't sure if it was on purpose or accidental. Either way, Kakashi had received an unwanted vasectomy at seventeen.
To medics, Kakashi was permanently sterile. To the jounin, he might have destroyed his own future with his stubbornness. And, until he had met Iruka and Saki, he had believed that wholeheartedly. But now? Now he had a beautiful lover and son who loved him, no matter how many scars his body and heart held.
"I'm sorry," Iruka said quietly, not just hearing the pain in Kakashi's voice, but feeling it resonate throughout his lover's body.
"Don't be…it made me who I am," Kakashi replied as his lips brushed against his lover's temple. To think, had he not gone through his 'I'll sleep with anyone and anything' phase, he may have never met Iruka. In a strange way, he owed thanks to Takeshi for teaching him the importance of modesty and the true value of compassion. "I never want to go through it again, but…it was a lesson I had to learn. I was an arrogant bastard…"
"So you've told me…but I shouldn't have pushed you all those times by demanding Saki was yours…and making you relive that…" Iruka added as he studied Kakashi's face, his chest filling with pride for the man who could have survived such a horrible event and still gone on to trust a few precious people.
Despite the streaks that still stained his cheeks, Kakashi found himself smiling. "But he is mine, baka," he retorted as he wrapped his arms around his tanned lover. As he held Iruka, gently nuzzling his chuunin, Kakashi discovered that, for the first time in nearly seventeen years, he could start thinking about his dark past without shame or revulsion. Because, for the first time in his life, he found someone who accepted him as he was, scars, ghosts, and everything else that had made him into the man he was today.
It took him a lifetime to find the one person who did not look at him in disgust for even a moment or pity him for the innocence he lost. Instead, he had seen the unholy vengeance burn in Iruka's eyes when he told him about that dark time in his life. He had known, in that moment, that his heart had chosen perfectly. Not only did he find the most caring and forgiving person to exist, but he had fallen in love with a man who would protect him until his dying breath.
Unable to stop himself, Kakashi caught Iruka's lips in a kiss. Though meant to show his gratitude for Iruka listening to him, Kakashi found himself pulling his tanned lover on top of him, reveling in the feeling of Iruka straddling him. Though he was still regaining his strength from Saki's escapade, Kakashi knew he had more than enough energy to show his lover how much he desired him.
Before he even got the chance to deepen their kiss, a sound filled the room that all but guaranteed that he was not going to have the chance to molest Iruka sufficiently tonight. Never did Kakashi despise the little baby monitor on his lover's nightstand – but he was starting to consider hatred of inanimate objects. If not for the fact he adored hearing that beautiful word, Kakashi might have actually been annoyed, but the only thing he could do was brush a kiss against Iruka's nose before jumping up to answer their son's summon with the speed the shinobi community were known for.
"Dadaaaaa! Dada! Dada!"
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All For the Sake of Pleasure