Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Firsts
By : djserani
Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male
Views: 1305 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!
Chapter List
- 29
- 30
- 31
REMINDER:This story takes place in Darkprism's Monoshizukanohi Universe. Though the appearances of Monoshizukanohi locations in this series of stories is minor, it does exist and that world belongs to her. She graciously allows me to play.

SECONDLY: Though it can be read WITHOUT reading "Changes," it is highly recommended that you read "Changes" before you read this. That said, it is *also* recommended that you read Darkprism's "Altering Affection," "Undercurrents" and at *least* part IV of "Rhythm & Bruise." "Changes runs chronologically concurrently with "Rhythm & Bruise."

Thirdly, in the following stories, I will be outlining individual warnings for each story/chapter.

Real warnings for this chapter: Angst, anal, frot. That's about it.

* * *

Izumo's head snapped up when the horn blared behind him and he shook his head at himself. He swiped at the tears on his face and pulled over into a parking spot along the edge of the park. He had to stop and look around to figure out where he was.

He saw the other end of the park and in the distance, the Fashion District. There was the garage for Fashion Center and beyond it, the office towers of downtown.

He dropped his head onto the steering wheel and tried his damnedest to get a grip on himself. It was over with Kenji as it should have been years ago. He should be glad, should feel good about it, especially since he figured out that he was, in fact, in love with Kotetsu.

He'd gotten drunk again. Kotetsu had come home that night to find Izumo sprawled on the couch with an empty bottle of Jameson's next to him. He had no idea what he'd said, but whatever it was, Kotetsu hadn't held him to it or taken him seriously, for which he was grateful. He was afraid he'd confessed his feelings, but if he did, Kotetsu obviously wrote it off as drunken ramblings.

Somehow, none of that made him feel better. He bounced his head on the steering wheel a few times. He needed to get over both of them, needed to put them out of his mind, out of his heart and find someone healthy for him.

Which he knew was going to be exceedingly difficult since, somehow, he still loved them both. He had no idea how he could love both of them, but he did. Maybe, if he could just forget about them for a little while, just get lost somewhere and get his mind off of it, that would help.

He rubbed his eyes, but his contacts really were bothering him by this time, so he took the moment to take them out and grab his glasses instead. He'd discovered the need for them a few years ago, but was just vain enough to want contacts instead of the glasses themselves. The eye doctor told him that half of his problem was his hair, but he just shrugged it off. He liked it where it was, he was used to it and had no intention of moving it. The thought still brought an ache and an image of Hayate to mind and so, the hair stayed.

He climbed out of his Toyota and locked it, then stepped up onto the sidewalk. He crossed it and took the walkway into the park, strolling slowly along the path. Since it was a Saturday, there were plenty of people here. Families at the small pond with boats and picnics, couples on blankets reading together or napping or kissing. There was a pair of older gentlemen sitting at a chess table, contemplating the pieces and Izumo couldn't resist the smile when one reached out to hold the other's hand.

He found an empty bench in a quiet spot away from other people and sat down. He leaned forward, bracing his arms on his thighs and stared at the gravel between his feet. He had to get over Kenji and Kotetsu, had to find a way to move on from them. He knew Kotetsu was convinced that he was never going to love anyone - not like Izumo wanted him to. And Kenji... well, he just wasn't going to put himself through it all anymore.

But he had no idea how. No idea what he could do. He lived with Kotetsu. He was going to see the man every day. They ate meals together, played games together, did just about everything together. Not to mention the times they fucked each other.

That was the worst, at least right now. He wanted, needed, to get some space from that, but he didn't know how he could. Anything he did would alert Kotetsu to the fact that something was wrong. But if what happened that morning happened again, Izumo didn't know how much he could take.

"Morning," Kotetsu said, grinning, when Izumo opened his eyes. Izumo returned it, taking a deep breath.

"Morning. How did you sleep?" He asked, resisting the urge to reach out and brush at shaggy black hair.

"Good. Couldn't help but sleep well after last night." He gave a goofy wink and Izumo chuckled.

"Glad to be of service," Izumo said, his own grin spreading. He rolled onto his back and stretched, feeling pleasantly sore. His cock twitched when Kotetsu did the same thing, the sheet sliding down over toned stomach to reveal his friend's partial morning erection. His own was already at half-mast and the vision brought it much closer to three quarters.

"Hmm... need some help with that?" Kotetsu asked, wagging his eyebrows.

Izumo chuckled and leaned in. "I wouldn't turn it down," he said and closed the distance. Their lips crashed together the kiss full of heat and want. Then Izumo found himself on his back, Kotetsu over him, their cocks grinding into each other and hardening the rest of the way. He let his hands slide down to Kotetsu's ass and squeeze, pulling his friend into him.

"Mmm, fuck that feels good," Kotetsu moaned and Izumo hummed in response as they continued to rock. "But I want it inside me more," he continued. Izumo let his own moan out and caught Kotetsu's lips in another kiss. Kotetsu returned it, their tongues doing battle, stealing breath and sanity. Another sound, this one of raw need escaped, echoed by the second voice and they broke the kiss, staring at each other and panting hard.

Kotetsu dove for the bedside table and a few seconds later, had bottle and condom in hand. He shifted, ripping the foil packet with his teeth and handing the bottle to Izumo as he rolled latex over Izumo's cock. Izumo couldn't resist the moan at the feel and Kotetsu stroked a bit more than necessary, causing Izumo's back to arch and another needy sound to come out. "Please, Tetsu, don't tease," he nearly begged and Kotetsu leaned in, kissing him again.

Izumo's hands went to the black hair as the click of the bottle was heard. He tried to keep his emotions out of it, but was afraid he failed. That became obvious when Kotetsu pulled back and met his eyes. "Zumo?" He asked, but Izumo swallowed and shook his head.

"You're taking too long," he managed, taking the bottle from Kotetsu's hands and pouring some into his palm. He coated his cock, refusing to meet the slanted eyes and tossed the bottle aside. He spread the excess lube around Kotetsu's entrance then, when Kotetsu didn't move, Izumo forced a lightness to his expression he didn't feel and raised his eyebrows, looking at his friend. "Did you change your mind?"

Kotetsu shook his head and moved into place. "Hell no," he replied, holding Izumo's cock in place and sliding himself down onto it. "Fuck, that feels good. God, your cock is just... perfect," Kotetsu grunted.

Izumo forced himself to remember that Kotetsu didn't mean it the way it sounded and instead put his hands on Kotetsu's hips as his friend started to move. He let his own grunt out as Kotetsu rocked, and he shifted so he could thrust as Kotetsu rode. "Fuck, that's good," Izumo groaned and Kotetsu flexed muscles in response, pulling another moan from him.

"Fuck yeah, it is," Kotetsu agreed, moving a little faster, dropping himself down harder. He leaned forward, then and caught Izumo's lips in another kiss and Izumo's breath stuttered in his chest at the feel of it. It felt so much like there was more behind the kiss, but he knew better, knew Kotetsu didn't feel that way and forced the thoughts back.

When they broke apart, Izumo patted Kotetsu on one hip and, taking the hint, Kotetsu moved off of him. Izumo knelt up behind his friend and pushed back inside once more, his eyes sliding shut at how good this man felt. He missed the times that they could do this without condoms, but they'd both been active with other people and neither was going to take that kind of chance. They tested regularly, but there were just too many risks, too much at stake. Izumo's mother had made sure they understood that well. Izumo gave himself the briefest of moments to wish that they were monogamous with each other long enough to get back to it, then let the thought go. If Kotetsu couldn't love him, there was no chance of that.

He started moving again, shifting in an effort to find the spot he knew would pull moans from his friend. Finally, he found it and he was rewarded when Kotetsu's sounds got a lot louder. He bent over Kotetsu's back and dropped a kiss on the skin. One of his friend's hands came back to his hip and he met it with his own, their fingers threading. The gesture went to Izumo's heart and he closed his eyes, burying his face in Kotetsu's back again, needing the closeness, even if his friend didn't feel the same way.

With that, something shifted, like a switch and the feel of Kotetsu's body seemed amplified. Izumo moaned softly, the pleasure sharpening. "Oh God, Tetsu, getting... nngh... close..."

"Me, too," Kotetsu said, voice sounding strained. "God, you're fuckin' good at that."

The praise settled into Izumo and he found himself struggling more and more to remember that this was just fucking. He forced himself to think about the physical, focus on giving Kotetsu pleasure and it helped. When Kotetsu's sounds got louder and the hand tightened in his, Izumo knew that Kotetsu was almost there. "Tetsu..." he warned and the shaggy black head nodded. Izumo closed his eyes, thrust a little harder, a little faster and was rewarded with a shout from his friend.

"FUCK, Zu! COMING!" Kotetsu's body shook, the muscles around Izumo's cock clamped down and that was all it took to send Izumo off the edge, as well.

"Tetsu!" The sound was muffled by skin but was still loud. The orgasm hit hard, his own body shuddered and he tightened his hand on Kotetsu's hip as the climax tore through him. The pleasure was fierce and he choked out another cry of his friend's name as it hung on, fading only slowly.

When it was over, they fell to the side in almost slow motion and Izumo eased out of Kotetsu. He rolled onto his back, panting hard to try to get a handle on himself. He wasn't going to let it get to him, he swore to himself that he wasn't going to let Kotetsu see. So he focused on taking care of the condom and keeping his face averted until he managed to put his fucked up emotions away.

"Damn, that was good," Kotetsu said as he fought with his breathing. He chuckled and sat up, glancing over at Izumo. "Hey, you okay, Zu?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Izumo replied, proud of the steady tone of voice.

"Dunno," Kotetsu said carefully, examining him. Izumo prayed that he'd just let it go and a moment later, he did. He stood up and stretched and Izumo did his best to ignore the movement. "Thanks, Zu, that was great." He sighed. "I have to go into work later today for a bit," he said, making a face. "Stupid servers. Oh, and I've got a date tonight. So, don't expect me early." Kotetsu casually tossed the last over his shoulder as he headed for the door.

It shouldn't have hurt, he told himself that, but it did. Especially after what they'd just done. He swallowed the emotions, determined not to let them out and nodded. "Okay. Uh, have fun," he managed. It wasn't as steady as before, but Kotetsu was already out the door.

"Thanks!" His friend called and Izumo rolled over, turning his back to the door. He buried his face in Kotetsu's pillow and closed his eyes, inhaling his friend's scent. He ignored the tear that fell and thought again that he had to do something. If he kept this up, it was going to kill him.

Izumo sighed, rubbed his face hard and sat up again. He needed to find a way to put Kotetsu away, to deal with all this emotion. How he did that was still a mystery, but he'd figure something out. He had to.

He stood up and started walking again, mostly aimlessly. He vaguely registered passing the pond again, and finding the street once more. He stared at his car, but wasn't up to more aimless driving and less up to going home, so he turned and ambled down the street. He passed storefronts he didn't notice, people he ignored, smells that made his stomach do a combination of grumble and turn and sounds that he didn't even register. He might have told someone he didn't want to sample something, probably was rude to more than a few people, but he still couldn't bring himself to care.

Instead, he kept walking.

Until he found himself in front of another store. He peered into the window of the bookshop and saw a few books displayed behind the glass, but that wasn't what drew him in. It was the dim interior, the crowded shelves and the way it all seemed to just be thrown together. He could get lost in here.

When Izumo stepped into the shop, he nodded to the man behind the counter, then paused to look around. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent that told him the store had been here, in some form or another, for forever. Dust, paper, leather and other smells assailed him and he smiled at the aroma of age. There was a shelf near the front labeled "Just In" but his eyes kept moving. He saw the odd collection of leather-bound and paper in the display case under the counter, but ignored this, too.

He glanced up to see the balcony of an upper floor and antique spiral staircase leading to it, but the rope stretched across it proclaimed that it was for "Cain and His Brothers Only" and so Izumo passed it up. He let his eyes travel further, noting that the store was deep enough that he couldn't readily see the back wall. He filed the information and moved on.

Then he saw it, his eyes drawn to the tall shelves and narrow aisle - the beginning of the stacks. With another nod to the clerk, he stepped between the shelves and started walking. He ignored the wooden sign that hung from the ceiling telling him what he could find in the narrow space; he didn't much care. He lifted his hand and let his fingers trace over spines, not really looking at any.

He passed fantasy and romance then took a turn when the aisle dead ended. His eyes skimmed over non-fiction titles about computers and further on, business. A left turn took him to another dead end, filled with books on cooking and crafts. He turned around and made another right. Here he passed science fiction and literature. He kept moving.

The next aisle found him turning around again, this time to leave the couple there alone. He passed another narrow aisle with a student sitting on the floor, several piles of books around him. Continuing on, Izumo found what had to be the very last aisle in the store.

Dimmer than the rest, this, too, dead ended. He turned one way and saw at the end, nothing but a door surrounded by a couple of shelves and stacks of other books. When he looked the other direction, he found himself faced with erotica. Just beyond that, there was another section on self-help and psychology. Izumo puzzled over the connection, but decided that Cain's was anything but logical in its layout and gave up figuring it out.

This would do, anyway. It was dark, he was alone, and that's what he wanted. He turned to the shelves and let his eyes trail over the titles. He saw one in French, another in Spanish and still a third in Russian. As he spoke none of these - he'd gone with Japanese in high school - he passed them up and continued on. He saw collections of short stories, a series in trade paperback he'd vaguely heard of and further on a collection of novels with one turned outward that caught his eye - for the fact that it had two men on the cover instead of a man and a woman.

He squatted down to pick it up when he was distracted by a book one shelf over. The cover was nothing to draw attention � a headless male torso that told him nothing about the book's contents. The title itself would have had him ignoring it - The Psychology of Control. No, neither of those is what caught his attention. He was not and never had considered himself a control freak and never thought about being someone who really cared about it all that much. Then again, he'd never felt so out of control before.

Regardless, what drew his gaze was the tagline under the title. It was a quote from the author apparently, and it struck a chord. There was more text around it, but this was in larger, bold letters. "When my life is chaos, this, more than anything, helps me feel better about it - when I do this right, I know can deal well with everything else."

Izumo frowned at the cover and shifted over to pick the book up. He flipped it open and skimmed the text inside the cover, but it was simply a re-stating of the quote on the front. He found the table of contents and scanned it - "Domination" was the first part, "Submission" was the second and the third was, "Why you might want both."

Izumo's forehead scrunched up and before he knew it, he was turning the pages. He leaned against the shelf and forgot completely where he was, forgot the darkened hallway, even � for the moment, forgot Kenji and Kotetsu � focusing instead on the book itself.

He lost himself quickly in the text as he read about this person who found himself often stressed and frustrated with his life, someone who struggled with being overwhelmed when things went wrong. The author went on to talk about how he found himself working through it by focusing on something else - on the domination that he found he was good at. And when he could focus on this, thereby controlling what happened and when, how it went and how far it went, he found that he could focus better on the other parts of life, even solving problems that he'd been stumped by before. It cleared his head and let him think again.

The author went on to discuss some of the things he did as a Dom, making sure to note that the book wasn�t about that, it was only there for illustrative purposes. It pointed out that there were as many things to do as a Dom as there were people to do them. Izumo could see that and so continued reading.

Izumo's eyebrows went up over the last part - the one about giving pain. The author mentioned how, though he liked to give it � quite a bit -- it was, most definitely, lower on the list of why he liked to dominate. There were other things listed, as well, but Izumo found himself stumbling over the pain thing, so he paused to consider it further. He frowned as he thought through the times he'd pulled Kotetsu's hair for him or Kenji's or even the few swats here and there that he'd given during sex. He had to admit that he'd liked doing that, and only part of it had been the reaction he'd gotten out of his partner.

Izumo looked up, his eyes unfocused as he processed the information. He frowned, thinking that it all sounded lovely, but he didn't exactly have someone he could do that sort of thing with. Out of his friends, he'd suspected a few were kinky, but he'd never had the balls to actually ask and most of them had long-term partners, anyway. Kenji was gone and Kotetsu... Izumo blinked at the thought. He would love to do something like that with Kotetsu and with their "fuck buddy" status, it might be possible, but... would his friend want to?

He turned his attention back to the book and flipped a few pages, bypassing some of the narrative and picked up again at the second part. This was written by a co-author and had a very different voice to it. This person talked about how they often felt like they could never make anyone happy, how they didn't take criticism well, and worse, how they often felt like they weren't good enough in any form. Izumo had trouble wrapping his head around this part because he hadn't come across that particular thing before. His mom had done her best to make sure he was praised often and knew that he'd done well. He had fought with himself over Kenji, that was true, but it hadn't quite felt like what this person's words brought to mind.

He was about to close the book when a paragraph further along the page jumped out at him. It talked about people who often are left behind by someone or feel unloved and how many of them find themselves in the same mindset - bad at taking criticism and so on. And as Izumo read the passage, the light bulb went on in his head and Kotetsu's face flashed into his mind.

Bringing the whole mess right back to him. Izumo blinked at the book and frowned, trying to think through the shift. At that moment, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to look, blinking at a man who stood at the end of the aisle, staring at him.
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Firsts	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1305 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!

Firsts