Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Illusion and Dream
By : djserani
Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male
Views: 1300 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!
Chapter List
- 29
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- 31
By the time the knock sounded much later that afternoon, Izumo had put most of the initial hurt away. He and Tetsu had spent the better part of the day in bed, pausing only once for food and a shower. His ass was sore, his cock was sore, and he didn't give a tiny little damn.

He didn't care because he felt so good and was so very happy.

Because Kotetsu loved him and had chosen him.

Said man slid up behind him when he got to the door, wrapping those strong arms around his waist and dropping a light kiss on his neck. Izumo's skin was black and blue everywhere. About a quarter of the marks were from Raidou, another quarter from Genma and the remaining half were all Kotetsu's fault. He hadn't been satisfied with Zumo's neck, though. No, he'd made sure to cover a good deal of the other man's chest, stomach, and even ass in marks. He looked like a leopard.

Then again, Kotetsu looked just as bad. Izumo grinned when Tetsu dropped a kiss on one of the marks he'd left and bucked back against the other man. "You don't have to hang on me when I open the door. I'm yours now, Tetsu. I love you. Raidou knows that."

"That's not it, babe." Kotetsu said, nipping at Izumo's ear and dragging a groan from the brunet.

"Oh?" Izumo asked, forgetting already what they were arguing about. He'd discovered quickly over the morning and early afternoon that his lover had a knack for that.

"Nope. Just can't keep my hands off of you," he murmured, nibbling his way along the shell.

Izumo moaned and turned around, forgetting the door completely. He pinned Kotetsu to the wall and captured the other man's lips in a long, thorough kiss.

Well, it would have been long. Except there was another knock and then Genma's voice came through muffled. "Hey! Stop fucking and let us in!"

They broke apart, grinning and Izumo turned around, flipping the lock and pulling the door open.

And stopped short, swallowing hard.

It was harder to see him than Izumo thought it would be. His hands curled into fists as he fought the urge to reach out and touch, to lean up and kiss. Kotetsu touched him, then, just a light brush of fingers across his skin before taking his hand and Izumo relaxed a fist, grabbing onto the other man almost as if it was a lifeline. It steadied him, that touch, and he started breathing again. He didn't remember stopping.

Raidou's eyes dropped from his face to the hand that Tetsu clasped and he saw a flash cross the other man's face. Izumo swallowed again, wishing he could say or do something to ease the bigger man. But it wasn't his to do anymore.

He stepped back. "C-come in," he said, having to force the words through his lips. He tore his gaze away from Raidou's face and focused on Genma... who was looking at Kotetsu with a longing so acute that Izumo could feel it. A longing he understood well because it was the same one bouncing around his own head and tying up his insides.

And it came home to Izumo in that moment just how much Genma had loved Kotetsu -- and still did. He glanced over at Tetsu to see a carefully controlled expression on his best friend's face as Tetsu looked back at Genma. Tetsu, too, was holding on to his emotions barely.

He finally looked back at Raidou and the look the bigger man gave him stole his breath again. He looked just like Gen had, just like, he was sure, he did in that moment. The same expression Kotetsu was fighting.

Longing. Need. Want. All three warred for dominance on all of their faces.

They didn't move for a full moment, simply stared at each other. "Um..." Kotetsu started and it was as if they all woke up.

"Right," Genma said in response to nothing in particular and they stepped into the apartment.

They stood awkwardly for a moment before Raidou spoke up. "We thought we'd ask you guys to go for dinner with us."

Izumo and Kotetsu glanced at each other and Izumo raised an eyebrow. Do you want to? Kotetsu nodded and turned to the other two. "We'd like that. Um, give us a minute to change."

Kotetsu had to actually borrow clothes from Izumo because all of his were still over at Genma's. He'd gone into his room and stood in front of the nearly empty closet, staring at nothing while he got himself under control. A moment later, arms slipped around him from behind and Izumo held up a hanger with pants and a shirt. "Here, baby," was all he'd said, leaving a kiss on top of the black hair. Kotetsu had stopped him from walking away and planted a long, thorough kiss on the other man's lips, the thanks non-verbal, but no less understood for that.

In silence, the four friends headed down to the street. They ended up at what had become their regular table at the barbecue restaurant, though this time, Kotetsu was sitting next to Izumo and Genma and Raidou were sharing seat. It was silent and uncomfortable for a while, and they sipped their drinks, hands gripping their partners with a sort of fierce need to stay calm, all of them wishing that perhaps they'd waited to do something like this.

And they were all regretting the night before, to a point. As great as it was to have the ones they had always wanted, something felt... off, missing now and no one could quite put a finger on what or why. There was so much they wanted to say, so much itching to get out, but no one had any idea how to start it.

One of the things they kept wondering, one of the things that bothered all of them was the question of whether or not they could stay friends. Could they? It was so hard to see the others, so hard to be around them. It took a supreme effort to not touch or kiss. It may have only been a few weeks, but that was long enough for them to fall thoroughly in love with the other person.

And then the thought of their best friend would intrude, and they'd remember just how much they loved them. Izumo sighed heavily, not even noticing he'd done it out loud.

"Yeah, I know," Genma murmured before finishing his bottle of sake. The other three looked up at him and he glanced around, realizing he'd spoken out loud. He shrugged a shoulder, then tried desperately for some levity. "You know, we could cut this tension with a knife. Too bad I don't have a kunai on me."

Kotetsu snorted. "Yeah, not too many places to store one in civvies, is there?"

Raidou threw in his effort. "No, but you ought to see just how many places Anko can hide weapons."

All three of the others stared at him. "Anko?" Izumo asked.

Raidou blushed. "Not like that. Tits, remember?" The other three laughed. "Just seen her pull them out that I swear came from no where."

It was still strained, still uncomfortable, but with effort, they made it through dinner. The whole thing was peppered with long bouts of silence until someone forced a comment and then it would ease again for a few moments. They were all glad when it was over.

They stood, once more in awkward silence outside the restaurant. "Um, I..." Kotetsu started, then sighed. "I need to get some of my things, Gen," he managed to get out.

Genma nodded. "Do you want to go now?"

Kotetsu glanced at Izumo and Raidou spoke up. "I need a few of my own," he said, his voice strained, the most outward sign of the tension between them yet.

It was finally agreed that Genma and Kotetsu would head one direction and Raidou and Izumo the other. But if it was hard to keep from touching when their best friend and partner was there, it was about a hundred times more difficult when they weren't. Kotetsu shoved his hands deep into his pockets, fisting them tightly to keep from reaching over.

Genma was no better off. He would end up having deep crescent marks in his palms from fighting the need to touch, hold hands -- something. They were both grateful when they got to the building.

When they stepped inside the apartment and kicked their shoes off, Genma turned to Kotetsu. He opened his mouth to speak, with no idea what to say. He closed it again and they simply stared at each other. There was maybe maybe half a meter between them and yet it felt like it could have been measured in kilometers.

They fought themselves, fought the need, fought the want and the longing and the hurt.

And lost.

Neither of them moved. If they had been asked, they would have sworn they didn't remember taking a single step. But one minute they stood apart, not touching, not even all that close and the next Kotetsu's hands were cupping Genma's face and their lips were fused.

And it hurt. It hurt that it was good-bye. It hurt that it wasn't their best friends. It hurt that they shouldn't be doing it. And it hurt that they wanted it so much.

Genma's arms came around Kotetsu, Tetsu's fingers threaded through the long brown hair and the kiss deepened. They still felt so good together and around the kiss, throats closed, and tears leaked. They pulled back and Kotetsu brushed the two drops away from Genma's cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Gen."

Genma shook his head and reached up to put a finger on his lips. "Don't. Don't. We got what we really wanted - what we really need. But I wouldn't trade the last three weeks, Tetsu. Not for all the heartache in Konoha... or anywhere, for that matter."

Kotetsu closed his eyes. "Me, either. I lo..." He nearly bit his tongue in two to cut off what he started to say. "I... already miss you," he managed, instead.

Genma swallowed around the lump and considered his former lover. "I probably always will love you, Tetsu. And I do miss you, already. But I want you to be happy with him."

Kotetsu nodded. "Please be happy with Raidou." He couldn't manage more than that, couldn't say more. Dark eyes met hazel and Genma read everything Tetsu couldn't bring himself to say. He nodded, wrapped his arms a little tighter around the shorter man and tried to remember how to simply breathe.

They stood there, both working desperately to collect themselves. Finally, a few minutes later, Tetsu pulled back and looked up. Genma bent to him and this kiss was soft and much, much more heartbreaking. When they broke apart, Gen sighed. "Let's..." he had to pause to clear his throat. "Get your things," he finished.

Kotetsu nodded and together they headed into the rest of the apartment.

Izumo folded the last of Raidou's shirts and put it in the bag, pulling the tie and closing it. "I think that's all of it," he said in a quiet voice. They'd managed, just barely, to avoid touching, to avoid much of anything except gathering the bigger man's things.

They hadn't even spoken all that much. There had been an extremely awkward moment when they stepped into the apartment, but Izumo had happened to glance down and see Kotetsu's ninja sandals lined up and it was just enough to keep him from giving in to the urge that had been rioting through him all that time. Instead, he'd turned and hurried into the bathroom and started grabbing Raidou's things.

Now they stood opposite each other in the tiny entrance area of the apartment, Raidou's bags on the floor at their feet and enough distance between them to keep from touching. Izumo's hands curled into fists to help him keep them to himself but the need was still so strong. He shoved his fists into his pockets and turned his gaze back to the handsome, scarred face.

They stared, dark eyes meeting both brown, drinking in the other person, memorizing features. They knew, somewhere deep inside that it wasn't that they weren't going to be able to see each other ever again -- they would. But passing off missions or reports or even having dinner as friends with their partners or drinks at the Kunai wasn't anywhere near the same thing. This - this unguarded study wouldn't be appreciated by Gen and Tetsu just like they wouldn't want to see it from their own best friends.

"May I kiss you?" Raidou asked in a low voice.

Izumo started in surprise. He somehow thought Rai wouldn't want to so the question caught him off guard and he nodded before he had a chance to think it through. He swallowed around his dry throat, eyes still glued to the dark ones.

Raidou closed the distance in one step and then those arms were around him again. His eyes slid closed when the talented lips were on his -- lips he'd fallen in love with, lips he'd never feel, never taste again. And as that thought landed in his mind, the reminder of just what this kiss was, he made a small sound in the back of his throat and his arms snaked up around the bigger man's neck almost desperately. Raidou's arms tightened in response and Izumo savored the feel of the big body against him.

The kiss deepened, Izumo's fingers threaded through the messy, dark hair and Raidou's hands slid down to the younger man's ass, pulling him even closer. They lost themselves in the insane need for each other that they always seemed to feel, tongues sliding, hands touching anywhere they could. With a moan, Raidou turned them, lifted Izumo and pinned him to the wall, the smaller man's legs wrapping around the bigger man's waist.

Raidou ground into Izumo, the hand tightened in the messy hair, dragging a low moan from the older man's throat. Izumo strained against him, hard cocks rubbing through the layers of fabric, reinforcing the need, sharpening the want to an almost painful level. Zumo nipped at the scarred throat, knowing exactly which spots would drive the bigger man craziest.

"Need you. Oh, God, want..." Izumo broke off with a groan as Raidou rocked into him again.

And then Rai's hands slid further, bumping Izumo's sore entrance and it was like a dash of cold water to the face. Tetsu! Izumo winced and pulled back, breath coming in harsh gasps. The dark eyes focused on the younger man and Zumo's expression must have given away some of his thoughts. Because Rai's eyes then slid closed as realization set in. Of where they were, of what they almost did. And with whom.

And who it wasn't.

Izumo's eyes closed, Tetsu's face floated behind his lids and the tears he'd been holding onto so very carefully escaped. His throat worked as he swallowed, fighting hard to control his emotions.

Shame, guilt, longing, need, want, love. They were all rioting through him in that moment, battling for supremacy. Shame came out the victor.

Raidou wasn't his anymore! He belonged to Tetsu now! Tetsu, who loved him and had loved him for so long, who chose him, wanted and needed him. He swallowed again around the lump in his throat and opened his eyes to see the dark ones still focused on him. The bigger man brushed at his damp cheeks, then leaned in and left a soft kiss on him before lowering him back to his feet.

They stood back, staring at each other, not speaking once more. But this time, they couldn't quite let go of each other's hands. Neither could seem to bring themselves to move or say anything for several long moments.

Izumo opened his mouth, determined to break whatever was holding them when they heard voices in the hall outside. They let go of each other's hands and stepped back, eyes that were filled with apologies and a whole mess of emotions fixed on each other.

The door opened and Kotetsu and Genma came in, Tetsu with his pack on one shoulder and Genma toting a separate bag. They stood awkwardly for a moment, Genma and Kotetsu looking from Raidou to Izumo - their messy hair, flushed faces, kiss-swollen lips and obvious arousals.

Genma cleared his throat. "Uh..." He started, with no idea what to actually say.

Izumo shook his head and turned to Genma. He wanted to apologize, wanted, needed to say something. "I... um... I'm..." he stammered, meeting the hazel eyes but Genma held up a hand and shook his head.

"No, don't," was all Genma said, glancing at his best friend. Raidou couldn't quite meet his eyes. He bent, instead, to shoulder his own pack.

Kotetsu reached out to take his bag from Genma, but Izumo beat him to it. He needed something to do with his hands before he went completely insane. He held the bag with a death grip and watched helplessly as they all fought with their emotions.

Genma immediately picked up Raidou's other bag and he turned back to his former lover. Kotetsu stared at him, unable to move or speak. Izumo was similarly stuck. "Um, we'll... see you," Genma murmured.

"Yeah, uh, see you," Tetsu said, reaching out and grabbing Izumo's hand.

"Bye, Rai..." Izumo whispered, desperately holding on to his emotions. He could feel the muscles in his face fighting to let go.

Raidou looked at him one more time, and those dark eyes nearly undid him. "Bye," he said on a breath and he and Gen turned and stepped through the door, pulling it closed quietly behind them.

Izumo and Kotetsu stared at the closed door for a few very long moments, neither moving or speaking. Izumo fought desperately to simply remember how to breathe and he couldn't. His tight chest rose and fell rapidly as he battled himself. His throat worked while he swallowed, determined he wasn't going to let it out, wasn't going to give in.

And then the image of Raidou, face flushed, lips red from kissing him, eyes heated flashed into his mind and the bag dropped from nerveless fingers and with a nearly silent sob, he lost.

He was yanked into arms that shouldn't have been so understanding, but were. "Oh God..." Izumo whimpered, his own arms going around those of his best friend. "I love you, Tetsu. Oh God, I love you," he said, almost desperately.

"I know, baby, I know," he whispered, running a hand over Izumo's hair. Kotetsu stood there and simply held his best friend, letting the other man go as the emotions stormed. He had no idea what to do, how to handle any of this. He'd spent years -- years avoiding emotion and attachment.

Well, it certainly has come home to him, now, hasn't it?

He couldn't get Genma's face out of his mind, couldn't stop thinking of the taller man, his kiss, the feel of his arms and he felt like such a bastard. He had the one he'd wanted for so long in his arms. And dear God, Izumo felt good there. He loved this man. It shouldn't fucking hurt so much to say good-bye to Gen.

He pulled back and tilted Izumo's face up from where it was buried in his neck. He captured his friend's lips and all the things he did want, all the things he did feel were there. The love he felt for this man, his best friend, was as strong as ever.

Izumo poured himself into the kiss, the salty taste of tears leaking around their lips. He pulled back and looked into the slanted eyes and saw a storm that matched the one still waging inside him. They crashed back together and as the kiss deepened, their tears slowed. It would be okay, they had each other and they knew, understood just how the other person was feeling.

When they broke apart, Tetsu wiped at Izumo's face as an idea formed. He took the other man's hand and turned toward the bathroom. Izumo gave him a puzzled look, but he just shook his head. Now wasn't the time for talking. He turned the water on, set it to what he knew Zumo liked and plugged the tub.

He turned to the other man and leaned in to kiss gently again. "Get undressed, I'll get some towels."

Izumo nodded and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He knew what Tetsu was doing. He was too sore for sex, too messed up to do much of anything else. When he was naked, he slipped into the water, turned off the faucet and waited. A moment later, Tetsu was back. He had stripped and retrieved the towels. His friend set them down next to the tub and climbed in behind him, then pulled Izumo back and wrapped the arms he loved so much around the other man.

They said nothing for several long moments, both lost in their own thoughts, simply enjoying the hot water. "Do you know what this reminds me of?" Kotetsu asked after a while.

"Hmm?" Izumo turned slightly so that he could see the other man better and he ended up almost laying on his friend.

"Sho's cart," he said, amusement playing in his voice.

Izumo smiled. "Yes, it does, doesn't it?"

"Mmm. Yes. And all the things I wanted to do to you when we woke up like this." Izumo's smile spread wider. "So, tell me." Kotetsu tilted his head and brushed a bit of hair out of Izumo's face. "Why did you kiss me before you sat up?"

Izumo blinked and color spread across his cheeks. Kotetsu grinned. "I knew it! You did. I wondered if it was my imagination."

"You didn't know!" Izumo glared at him and reached up to smack him.

"I suspected." Kotetsu laughed.

"Why did you call me baby?" Izumo asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kotetsu's cheeks darkened. "Um...for our cover."

Izumo simply continued to look at him and said nothing. Kotetsu squirmed. "Okay, I couldn't resist." He stared down at the brown eyes for a moment. "You just looked and felt so good there in my arms. And I wanted so badly for that to be real. Hell, I kept wanting that our whole damned mission."

Izumo's eyes dropped to Tetsu's chest, his fingers ghosting over the light dusting of hair that trailed down the center. He remembered the image he'd been given that one night when Tetsu had stepped out of the shower. He remembered wanting to trace the path a particular drop of water took with his tongue. And despite himself and his soreness, his cock twitched at the memory.

He shook his head and turned back around a little, laying back against his lover again. "How did things get so complicated so quickly?"

Kotetsu didn't answer at first. "It's my fault," he said, quietly.

Izumo glanced up at him. "What?"

"I should never have asked Gen out. I should never have said anything to you, never even done to you what I did on our mission. I loved you for a long time in silence and it should have stayed there."

Izumo considered him for a moment. "Was Genma happy before you two got together?"

Kotetsu looked away from his friend. "No."

"Is he happy now?"

"Yeah. Well, about as happy as any of us are." He replied.

Izumo nodded. "And if you hadn't asked him, he'd be miserable and alone. We're not alone - none of us. As... messed up as it is, as we feel, we're not alone. We have the ones we should be with."

Kotetsu ran a finger over his friend's face, studying the features -- nose, eyes... things he'd seen time and time again over the years. Parts he'd seen change and grow... and come to love. He reached over the side of the tub briefly, then sat back with a washcloth, considering his friend again. "Do you really think that? That you and I should be together?"

Izumo nodded again, firmly. "Yes. I do. Tetsu... no one knows me or understand me like you do. And maybe Rai... loves me," he said, stumbling over his words for a moment, "but it's not the same. And I know you... in ways Gen doesn't."

Kotetsu's eyes dropped for a moment, then came back to the brown ones. He handed his lover the washcloth. "Wet this for me," he whispered and turned to pick up the soap.

Izumo threw him a puzzled glance, then took the washcloth from him. But when he opened it to submerge it, he found himself staring at it. "Tetsu?"

Kotetsu leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his lover. "I found yours in the dish. I kept mine with me. Let's do it for real."

Izumo glanced up at him, then back to the bands nestled in the terry cloth, then back again. "Married?"

Kotetsu nodded. "Yes. To each other. Wait, I didn't do it right. What am I supposed to say?"

" 'Will you marry me'?" Izumo said.

"Yes, I will," Kotetsu replied, taking one of the rings and slipping it onto Izumo's right hand.

Izumo stared up at him, feeling like he was about two seconds behind the dialogue somehow. "Wait... I... we... Did... yes?"

Kotetsu nodded. "Yes. Now, will you marry me?"

Izumo blinked at him, then looked down at his hand. It didn't feel so heavy and foreign this time. It didn't feel out of place on his finger now. It felt... right. "Yes." He looked back up at the other man, his best friend... the one he loved. "Yes."

Kotetsu smiled, then and Izumo took the other ring and slipped it onto his friend's finger.

"We kind of got it backwards," Izumo mused as he dropped the washcloth into the water.

"We did?" Kotetsu asked.

Izumo nodded. "Yes. I asked you, but you put the ring on my finger. It should have been the other way around. I'm not sure it's binding."

Kotetsu growled and wrapped his arms around the other man, causing Izumo to laugh. "It's binding, alright. You're not getting away from me, now."

Izumo laughed even harder, splashing water up at his lover. Kotetsu sputtered and when his face cleared, his grin turned wicked. "You're in for it now..." he warned, and captured the other man's lips.

Izumo moaned into the kiss, forgetting about the warning, his hand coming up to cup Kotetsu's face. But a moment later, he found himself under the water and he came up, coughing and spitting. "OH, it's ON!" Izumo said, jumping up. His own grin turned wicked, he held up two fingers to his lips and coated Kotetsu in his syrup, then took off running to their room.

"HEY! NO FAIR!" Kotetsu shouted. The only thing he heard was a cackle from the other side of the closed door. He cleaned himself off as quickly as he could and took off after his friend.

They ended up replacing the bedroom door, but neither cared. If only that carefree mood would last.
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Illusion and Dream	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1300 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!

Illusion and Dream