Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

ⲃⳙⲧⲧⲉⲅ⳨ⳑⲩ	By : Sessakag Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Naruto/Hinata Views: 4852 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, just the story I write

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Chapter Three
Therapy

April 28, 2016

“What’s wrong, Hinata?”
Startled, Hinata’s head snapped up.
Soft crimson eyes gazed back at her, waiting patiently for a response, they were understanding and kind, and yet still she felt her insides heave.
“You’ve been picking at your food tonight. Is everything alright?”
Her chopsticks rattled as she set them down, lavender eyes wide and panicked, her heart fluttering despite herself. She knew she had nothing to fear from the woman across from her but…she couldn’t help but feel nervous. She’d already be on the floor if father or even auntie Suzume had noticed her wondering mind. A mere seven months had passed since she lived beneath the terror that was her paternal family, nowhere near enough time to remove the fear from her heart.
They were gone…she was safe and yet…it didn’t feel like she ever would be.
She never felt like she’d ever truly be free. In every new face, she would look for anger, on every new arm she’d look for a fist…
It was hardwired into her damaged soul.
“I’m s-sorry…” she apologized, her voice threadbare.
“It’s alright,” her caretaker assured her, “I wasn’t criticizing you, sweetheart, it just seems like there’s something on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”
She hesitated.
No…she didn’t want to talk about it. She always felt uncomfortable talking.
Father didn’t like it.
Auntie Suzume didn’t like it.
Cousin Kyo didn’t like it.
Talking carried the risk of getting hit...
“It’s alright, Hinata, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but remember, you don’t have to be afraid to speak. You’re safe. You can use your voice as much as you want. I love hearing you talk,” the older woman encouraged softly, “If you need my help, you need only ask and if there’s something you don’t understand about the outside world I don’t mind explaining it to you.”
Sliding clammy palms into her lap, Hinata willed her thundering heart to quiet. She twined her fingers in the starch cloth of her skirt, fighting the urge to keep her mouth closed. Her therapist had urged her to take the first steps towards gathering the broken pieces inside her and putting them together in the hopes she’d one day become whole.
She swallowed, bracing for a blow even as her trembling voice filled the silence.
“T-there’s a guy in my c-class…he…asked me to t-tutor him…”
“That’s great Hinata. Are you going to help him?”
Eyes glued to the table, she shook her dark head. She had chickened out every time, standing outside the library during study hall, her heart pounding so hard in her ears it left her deaf. Twice she felt like she was going to faint.
Reaching for her arm, Kurenai gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Why not, sweetheart? Is he a bad guy?”
She shook her head again.
“Does he scare you too?”
She nodded slowly.
“Part of your therapy is opening yourself up to the kindness of others. I know it’s scary, I know it feels safer to avoid people but there are good people out there, and this boy, he seems like he just wants to get to know you,” she giggled, “and get help with his classwork.”
Hinata looped her fingers. It wasn’t just that she feared being hurt by bringing new people in her life, her trepidation ran much deeper than that.
He was…that boy.
That boy that had called her eyes weird that evening in the woods, the one that had made her feel so bad about herself one moment, then shown her such a small act of kindness that, in her world, had felt as big as a mountain. He’d told her he was sorry, words she had never heard before, then shared the last bit of food he had with her.
She knew that child’s name now.
Naruto Uzumaki…the first person to ever show her an ounce of compassion.
Seeing him again, now a strapping young man, so different from the small, sunny kid he’d been back then had shocked her. She couldn’t help but watch him in school, the bundle of energy she had thought of for a year following their encounter. She’d even gone back to that spot a few times hoping to find him again, to watch him from afar and bask in the warmth he exuded. Anything to banish the cold in her world…but he never came back and shortly after, he’d left her thoughts completely. There hadn’t been time to think of anything but the hellish existence she maintained.
While meeting him again had affected her greatly, she had only to see the way his ocean blue depths passed over her to realize he didn’t remember her at all.
Not that she blamed him, or was surprised that he didn’t.
It had been a fleeting few minutes, and he couldn’t have been much older than her at time. In the life he lived, meeting another child, albeit a strange one, wouldn’t have registered in his young mind. To her, a child that seemed to have been born simply to bear the brunt of the rage and hate festering within father and his family, that brief exchange had left her deeply touched.
Watching him at school that first day, she had relived that warm moment over and over, wondering if he was still that kind boy.
From what she could see, he seemed that, but so much more. Popular. Funny. Smart. Charismatic. He was a force of nature, standing out among his peers. In their class, he always appeared to be the center of attention. Like a shining sun, those around him basking in his shinning rays. His lively energy hadn’t faded, rather, expanded. He joked and horsed around with his friends, she’d see him going from one part of the school to the other, seemingly in constant motion any time he had reason to leave his desk. That sunny smile had grown beautifully blinding, his shimmering cerulean depths harboring a worldliness and intensity not present in his childhood. He was taller than her as kids, he was towering now, and the little body beneath his coat had filled out substantially.
She didn’t know why, but those changes always brought a dusting of pink to her cheeks. He was so much like that boy, but…so different.
“Do you want to help him?”
The question pulled her from her thoughts.
She nodded.
Of course she did. She truly did. He’d helped her in a very dark moment and whether he ever remembered it or not, she wanted to repay that gesture…but…
“I…c-can’t help my s-stutter…I don’t…w-want to be…”
She didn’t want to be made fun of.
Not by anyone and not him of all people.
Psychogenic stuttering.
A parting gift from her father and his kin, among many others she still suffered. This stammering she couldn’t seem to stop, kept her just as quiet as the fists that beat her into silence. Her cousins, her father, they made fun of her when she spoke, tormenting her as though she didn’t hate herself enough.
Stupid, they called her.
Slow.
A stammering embarrassment.
Stuttering little idiot, was the consensus among them.
She didn’t want to be what they called her.
“You said he doesn’t seem like a bad guy, right?”
She nodded.
“Then what good guy would make fun of your speech impediment? Besides, we’ve been working on it and it’s gotten so much better these last few weeks and as you go through therapy, it’ll only get better. Just remember what we practiced. Speak slowly, and clearly, don’t let nerves twist your tongue. You can control it. You don’t have to let it control you.”
She knew the steps, but she had a difficult time putting it into practice when she couldn’t calm her anxiety long enough to remember to do those things while she spoke. Even now, she was so on edge having a simple conversation with a woman that had not only taken her in, but had never shown even frustration towards her and still that old fear of violence kept her from forming words like a normal human being.
It made her feel like she was those things her relatives had deemed her.
“We can practice again tonight. Would that help?”
Hinata nodded, even though she felt the complete opposite.
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May 2, 2016

Hinata stared into the bathroom mirror, feeling that sensation she hated the most slowly enveloping her mind.
She was having one of those days.
Those days when rising from bed was a Herculean task.
When putting thought to mind, mind to body, body to action was as impossible as jumping to Saturn in cement shoes.
Her father’s words were buzzing around and she couldn't get them out of her head.
‘Nobody wants you. Nobody cares about you. If you died no one would notice, and if they did, no one would care. You are nothing. You are less than worthless. You are a ball and chain around society’s neck, a curse upon any you come in contact with. The worse day of my life was the very day you were conceived.’
Sucking in a shuddering breath, she reached for the first bottle, among many, next to the glass of water on the counter.
‘If you loved me, you’d do it. You are useless trash. A plague. The least you can do is take this knife and go keep your mother company.’
She swallowed, glancing down at the bottle.
Clonazepam, little white pills to help combat the heart pounding anxiety that quite often held her paralyzed within its vicious grip. One tablet now, another in the afternoon at school. They never completely extinguished the nausea, the shakes, the cold sweats or the sharp edge of panic, but they made it bearable. They helped her function, they got her through the day, they kept her from breaking down at the least provocation.
She opened it, threw one back, took a sip of water and grabbed two other orange containers.
Sertraline, another little white pill. An antidepressant meant to tackle the morse sadness that covered her like a wet blanket. In combination with her second antidepressant, Escitalopram. After four months, the fact that she could get out of bed was a testament to their effectiveness.
She downed them both, one pill each, and sat them back down next to her night time meds.
She always felt so drowsy during the day and yet, at night, she felt wired. Way too stimulated and nervous to close her eyes and drift off into her nightmares.
She looked at the other bottle.
That’s what the Desyrel was for.
Insomnia.
A side effect of emotional trauma and the nightmares that interrupted what little sleep she could garner without medication. Her sleepless nights were gone, but she never really felt rested. How could anyone feel rested from an artificial slumber?
There was a pill for everything.
To wake up, to face the day, to sleep at night. It didn’t bother her to take so many pills but it bothered her that they were what moved her through life. She felt like she was on life support, and the medication was breathing for her, simulating living because she was unable to.
All these medications served to sedate and regulate her often times tumultuous emotions, and they accomplished that goal but with a drawback.
Tiredness.
Of course…there was a pill for that, a stimulant that struggled against the sedative’s in her bloodstream, she’d take her Wellbutrin when she got halfway to school.
She looked again at her face in the mirror.
If this was what she had to do to live, to face each day using these pills to pretend she wasn’t broken inside…was it really worth it?
She was battling hell while living in hell.
Some days…she wanted to try again…
To end her existence.
The morbid desire was always floating in the back of her mind, but when she took a moment to assess her life, like now, it was more than a background thought-
The soft knock on her bathroom door startled her, rattling the pill bottle in her hand.
“Is everything alright, Hinata?”
“Y-yes,” she murmured, hoping her soft voice carried through the wood.
Kurenai must have heard her because she stepped away from the door a few moments later.
Again, her gaze was drawn to the broken woman in the reflective glass.
Was everything alright?
No.
It never had been and she didn’t think it ever would be.
-
“So I guess you heard I’m stupid, huh?”
She startled, turning wide eyes to the speaker. Confused, she felt her lips part as he set his tray down and took a seat across from her as he had the first day he approached her.
“You never showed up, dattebayo,” he pointed out with a grin, “I figured you heard the rumors that I’m dumb as a sack of potatoes and didn’t wanna deal with the headache of tryna teach me how to calc.”
His words were…insulting to him, but the grin on his face…
He was joking.
Even so…remorse rose.
She’d been avoiding him all week. Keeping her head down more than usual even as she sat in the back of their classroom, though the teen across from her hadn’t seemed bothered by her avoidance, nor seemed to harbor any hostility towards her for it.
Or so she thought…
She shook her head at his words, heart thundering in her chest, fearing his easy air was a rouse. That any moment now he was going to start yelling at her, browbeating her for being too cowardly to turn him down to his face.
“Cool, glad you don’t listen to crazy rumors, ‘ttebayo. Hey, by the way, can I ask you a personal question? I mean, you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to or…I guess if you can’t answer, but since I asked you for help with school work I guess this would kinda be important, ya know?
She tilted her head, a question in her eyes.
“Are you mute?”
She shook her head.
“So you can talk then?”
After a brief hesitation, she nodded, the voiceless admission heightening her anxiety. She tugged at the fabric of her skirt, willing the discomfort to ease, hoping her too fast beating heart would subside. She didn’t want to shame herself and faint.
“How come you don’t talk then? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a word once since you transferred here. I’m guessing there’s a good reason why you don’t, I mean the teachers don’t make you either.”
Her lips trembled a tiny bit. She couldn’t tell him, she couldn’t even open her mouth. Social situations always scared her, and her verbal handicap didn’t make it any easier to bear. Unable to explain, she stared helplessly down at the table. His arm moved, the quick motion scared her, snapping her gaze back to him.
He scratched his head, his shifting eyes missing her knee-jerk reaction.
“Well, I guess helping me study is out of the question then, huh?”
Hinata paused, the pounding in her chest increasing in tempo. She felt even closer to fainting. Could she do what Kurenai suggested? Could she take the steps her therapist had told her would bring her closer to healing? The moves that would place her within range of a normal person.
She didn’t know but…
For him…for the boy that had shared his last bit of food with her…
She wanted to try.
Slowly, she shook her head.
He blinked, seemingly surprised that she was still willing to help.
“Uh…okay, it’ll be kinda hard to get tutored if you don’t talk. I’m assuming you have a plan for that?”
No…
She nodded.
“Alright, then when do you wanna meet up, this week?”
No…
Again, she nodded.
“Alright cool. Next study hall, I’ll be in the library like last time, dattebayo.”
She expected him to leave right after, to go laugh, joke and enjoy his time with his friends but to her surprise, he didn’t. For the duration of lunch break, he sat there and talked to her. Telling her about the school. About his friends. About what was “kicking his ass” in calculus. She listened, both fascinated with his animated stories and petrified to have someone in her space this long. In between stories, he asked her a few questions, ones that required nothing more than a nod or shake of her head.
It was very…uncomfortable.
But enjoyable at the same time.
And once lunch ended, she was both disappointed and relieved it was over.
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As lunch rolled to a close, Naruto gave a short goodbye, grabbed the container from the meal his mother had made for him and strode across the wide lunchroom, feeling a bit annoyed. That had to be the weirdest, most frustrating interaction he’d had with a girl or anyone for that matter. He had never sat there and talked to somebody that uttered not a word in return. Well, not unless he was getting the cold shoulder for something he’d done. It would have made more sense if she was a mute like everyone in class thought she was, but seeing as that wasn’t the case, he couldn’t help but wanna know, what the hell was keeping her lips shut?
He honestly wasn’t sure what to make of her, but he was really curious despite himself.
How in the world was she going to tutor him without speaking?
More importantly.
How in the hell had he found the patience to sit there talking to her for that long without her saying a single word in return? Maybe he was starting to mellow like his dad said he would since he was so much like mom. Considering the way she was now, he didn’t know what his dad considered to be mellow. Kushina Uzumaki didn’t seem all that chill to her only child.
Not in the least.
He shuddered to think what she had been like before the ‘mellowing’ had kicked in.
Maybe it was pity.
He really did feel sorry for her, despite his annoyance, even he could see she was trying.
Just as he thought, he had been talking to a really pretty brick wall in terms that it didn’t talk back, but she still…communicated in a way he could understand even if it wasn’t with a shake or nod of her head. Those creepy lavender eyes she kept turning from him held so many unguarded emotions, her body language was even louder than her eyes, and though she shied from him a bit, jumped when he moved too fast and barely ever looked at him, he could tell she was listening intently when he spoke. Soaking it up so intensely he wondered if she didn’t have many people talk to her.
He could imagine not.
Head nods were hardly stimulating conversation. Nobody he knew would wanna sit and talk to themselves when they had someone across from them, including himself. Conversation was only fun when all parties participated. He knew he was a talkative guy by nature but he didn’t really want to be sitting there talking at her either.
At some point he’d get tired of hearing his own voice.
He found his circle of friends in the hallway on the way back to class.
“Still no luck?” Shikamaru asked him as he fell into step alongside them.
“Nope, not a peep,” he answered.
“Naruto!”
They stopped and turned. Long platinum blonde ponytail swinging, Ino jogged towards them. Double buns bobbing, Tenten was right beside her. Guess they were done giving him the cold shoulder with Sakura. Now they were here for information.
“What’s up with you and the transfer student?” Ino asked without compunction, “that’s the second time you sat with her at lunch.”
He folded his arms.
“Why you asking?” he questioned.
She gave him a glare, “you know why!”
Feeling emboldened, knowing she was going to repeat, verbatim, every word he said to Sakura, Naruto laid it on thick, confirming in a round about way his intentions with the transfer student.
“Sure don’t. I’m a free guy talking to a free girl, what’s there to question,” he deadpanned, “I’d think it was pretty obvious.”
“So you’re actually thinking about going out with her?”
“What do you think?”
“What about Sakura?” Tenten asked.
“What about her?
“What the hell do you mean ‘what about her’?” Yamanaka sputtered.
“Just what I said, dattebayo,” he said, blonde brow raised, “what about her?”
“You’re actually serious? Just like that?”
“I don’t know what the issue is. I’m pretty damn sure she told you that we broke up.”
“Well yeah,” the other blonde dismissed with a wave of her hand, “obviously.”
“Okay, and I’m sure you know she broke up with me. So again, what about Sakura?”
Pale blue eyes met impassive cerulean.
“You’re serious,” she concluded softly, seemingly stunned.
Amusement unfurled, though he made sure to keep it from his face. She couldn’t look more shocked if he had slapped her across the face. She really, truly didn’t think him capable of turning his sights to someone else openly, that he could be so dismissive discussing the girl he’d been chasing since primary school. He was always the one running to Ino, asking her questions about Sakura and whatever guy she was seeing while they were on break. It was always him watching her sit with another guy, wondering if this was the teen that would take her from him for good. Now, the shoe was on the other foot, and he was as happy and content as a kitten with cream.
“What was your first clue? Anyway, the second bell’s bout to ring, we gotta get back to homeroom.”
With that, he turned and walked away, finally allowing the shit eating grin he’d held back to spread across his lips.
“Shit,” Kiba murmured next to him as they started moving towards class again, “maybe it will work. You know she sent her over here to find out what was going on with you and the Hyuuga Hottie. Ino’s always been nosy but Sakura was watching you the whole time. No way she didn’t send her.”
He knew that.
The moment he sat down across from Hinata he’d felt her gaze burning a hole in the back of his head, goading him to stay longer than he’d intended or even wanted to.
“Yep,” he chirped, “told you it’d work. I know what I’m doing.”
He really wish he had tried this sooner. Instead of letting her know she always had a place next to him, why not keep her guessing if it was still open or not?
“Psh, if it weren’t for me you’d still be on the ground begging her for crumbs.”
“You right,” the blonde admitted, in too good of a mood to deny it, “shut the hell up though,”
“Fuck that, you owe me,” he insisted, “you got the reaction you wanted outta Sakura and you’re about to start going out with the hottest girl in school. All. Thanks. To. Me. You absolutely owe me!”
His good mood dampened a fraction.
Leaning over, he glared as he spoke, “no really, shut the hell up, ‘ttebayo.”
“Want the whole school to hear you?” Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head.
He looked annoyed, but the Inuzuka didn’t utter another word on the matter. Last thing Naruto needed was for this little ploy to end too soon. Sakura would never let him live it down, and he’d find himself in an even worse position in the relationship dynamic.
He had Sakura right where he wanted her, jealous and nosy.
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I’m glad you all are enjoying this story. I have about four more stories to post, they should be showing up soon, just moving a few things around and stuff. They’re really old, like 2016 old, and need some revising.
Thanks for reading, don’t forget to review!
Laters
Sessakag~
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