I See You

III.

It was five long days until Genma saw Iruka again. Five days in which Genma tried to concentrate on the mission he was in. But all he could do was think of Iruka and hope he was okay. He just wanted to go back home and see him.
Genma knew Iruka must have been thrown by the words in those reports. By his memories. By the people who betrayed him. Genma doubted that the killing was an accident. Even if those boys hadn't meant to kill him, they sure as hell meant to hurt him badly. It's not like they were training and he accidentally got strangled. Genma wished there was some way he could get to Iruka, to let the boy know that he cared and still wanted to help him. He had an awful feeling that he would never see Iruka again.

It was Friday night when Genma finally got back home. He found it full of the noises of Anko trying to make Raidō to go out, drinking with the rest of the jōnins. Genma wondered if any of them knew what had happened in the house all those years ago. The reality that Iruka had actually lost his life in that place was overwhelming to him. The chūnin seemed so real and so present that the thought of him laying on the floor dying was horrifying.

Anko had invited Genma to join them, but he lied and told her he was too tired from the mission and he felt horrible. The last part wasn't really a lie. He did feel horrible. He hadn't slept well in days. He was exhausted and his body ached.
Around nine thirty, he took his clothes off and locked himself in the bathroom. Placing his senbon on the bench, he looked up to stare at himself in the mirror. He sighed, stepped into the shower and took a really long shower, hoping that the heat would calm him down. He really needed to sleep. He spent the entire shower thinking of Iruka. Wishing he could see him again. Not only because he wanted to know if Iruka was okay, but because he wanted...him. He wanted to be near the chūnin, to hear him laugh. To look at his amazing dark-brown eyes and see the attraction that he hoped he hadn't imagined. 'Iruka...where are you?'

After, what it seemed hours of shower, he turned off the water and twisted his hair into a knot and squeezed, releasing a fine arc of water droplets onto the bathroom floor. He rubbed a fluffy towel roughly over his head before wrapping it around his waist.

Feeling slightly better, Genma flopped down on his bed. He meant to lay there for a minute or two then get up and dry off so he could really go to sleep. He must have been more exhausted than even he thought. The next thing he knew he was awake. And not just awake but tingling all over. His eyes popped open.

'Iruka!' The chūnin was there, sitting on his bed, the tan hand hovering over Genma's chest. Iruka looked guilty, like he had been caught in the cookie jar. Genma smiled, Iruka could have all the special jōnin's cookies if he wanted to.
Genma was so happy to see him, he almost jumped on top of him before remembered that he would end up face planting on the floor.

"Iruka, I'm so glad you're okay. I missed you!" He didn't even think before he spoke. Afterwards, he felt kind of stupid. That was until he saw Iruka's shy returning smile.

"I missed you too, Genma-san. I wanted to make sure I was ready to talk about it rationally before I came back to you." While Iruka was talking he started stroking Genma's chest again, running his bubbly soft touch all over.

"That feels nice," Genma mumbled. "But please only Genma, don't need to add 'san' to it." He must have had a goofy smile on his face because Iruka laughed quietly. His face turned wistful.

"I wish I could really touch you," Iruka murmured.

Genma was slightly surprised. "You do?" He'd assumed their little thing was mostly one sided. He felt like Iruka kind of flirted, but he didn't think the chūnin meant anything by it.

"Of course I do. I mean I guess people are more open about what they want now. But couldn't you tell?" Iruka leaned forward and brushed his lips across his chest.

Genma shuddered. "I thought it was just me."

Iruka shook his head. "Not just you. Lay back." His voice was smoky and a little breathy.

Genma did as he asked, not even caring when his forgotten towel slipped open. Iruka looked at him with awe in his eyes. His hands were reverent, tickling him with that half touch that made his stomach all trembly.

"You're really handsome," Iruka whispered.
Genma blushed, but his embarrassment was lost in the swirling rivers of sensation Iruka was causing. Genma was getting harder by the second, marvelling at how turned on he was. He felt Iruka's hands move lower, testing the muscles in his abdomen. The special jōnin giggled a little as the sparkly feeling engulfed his stomach. A second later, he forgot that he'd been laughing. He forgot about everything. Iruka sighed, as he used both hands to surround his erection. Genma lifted his hips into the feeling, part of him wanting to feel the pressure of a real touch, but so amazed at the hot and cold chills that he barely missed it. His hips started moving, and he groaned out loud. Iruka leaned over and kissed the tip gently.'Oh

h my god. This has to be the most erotic moment of my life.' Genma thought.

Iruka stuck out his ghostly tongue and licked him from the base, all the way around the head. Genma thrashed against his bed. It only took a minute or two for him to lose it. Between his wonder at this first time experience, and the glory of the feelings Iruka was causing, Genma couldn't hold back the rapids that were crashing through his body, taking control of everything. He shoved a pillow into his mouth when he came, stifling the scream that wanted to come out. He fell back against his pillows sweaty, heart pumping.
He lay there silently for a while, letting his breathing calm. Iruka continued to trail his fingers over him in a relaxing sort of other worldly massage. This gentle touch was almost as amazing as what had just happened. When Genma was finally calmed, he sat up and reached down to the floor for a pair of track pants.

Iruka looked slightly disappointed when he covered up, but grinned when they connected eyes. Genma didn't even know what to say. "That was..." He began.

"Nice," Iruka finished, rubbing the scar on his nose, in embarrassment. "It feels good for me too, you know. Not like really touching you would feel. Or having you touch me. But it's still good." He sighed, and Genma could literally see him picturing them actually touching each other.

"Iruka?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to, but we probably need to talk about the files."

Iruka grimaced. "I know. It was so nice for a while to pretend we didn't have to."

Genma nodded agreeing, then waited for him to say something. When he didn't, Genma prompted him. "What happened that night? We can't do anything about it until you tell me."

Iruka took a deep breath and began. "After I passed the on the chūnin's exams, I started taking missions together with Mizuki. I was so happy, staying by his side during the missions and living with him, being a part of his circle of friends...being part of his life...Everything seemed perfect. I didn't mind keeping Mizuki and I a secret as long as I had him. We were vigilant, making sure that no one ever saw any touches, any looks." He looked around at the walls. "We slept together for the first time in this room. I was seventeen and he was nineteen. Both of us wanted to do it but we'd never had the opportunity before. There had always been other people around. His friends would come over all the time." Genma tried to control his jealousy. He hated Mizuki for having Iruka first. "I thought Mizuki loved me as much as I loved him. That he would do anything for me. Put his life on the line for me. I would have done it for him." Iruka's face twisted in a bitter smile. "Turns out he didn't love me nearly as much as I thought." Genma wanted to comfort him, to pull him into his arms. It was so frustrating to only be able to sit there and listen. "On the night of Halloween, Mizuki did a party here. At the end of the party everyone went home. We usually were careful about locking our door before we went to bed, but that night we must have forgotten. Anyway, we started making love, and I guess because we weren't totally sober, we forgot that we had to be quiet. One of his friends forgot something and came back, he entered the house and heard us, and he must have thought we were fighting. He got a few other guys and burst into the room, ready to break up the fight. I'm sure you know what he found."

Genma's mouth opened in horror. "Oh, Iruka," he whispered. He didn't know what else to say.

"Mizuki jumped up immediately. I thought he was going to defend me, to make up a story about how we were drunk or something, but I guess he panicked. He told the guys I jumped on him and started kissing him when he was asleep. He said he wanted me to get the hell away from him. That I was disgusting. I was so shocked I just stood there in silence. I didn't even think to defend myself." Iruka was trembling, and his tan skin turned white.

Genma felt awful. "Hey, do you want to stop? We can talk about this another night."

"No. Let's get it over with." Iruka looked determined. "So I think you can guess the ending. After he stormed out, I sat in our room by myself, heart broken and terrified. I decided to go to the Memorial Stone and visit my parents, so put my uniform on. I forgot about my hair and hitae-ate. I just wanted to get out of here. But before I could leave the room, they came for me. It was almost midnight. I still don't know if it was an accident, or if they really meant to kill me, but they came at me shouting horrible names. The last thing I remember was hearing the clock marking midnight and seeing Mizuki running into the room shouting at them to stop. The next time I came to, I was like this, and the room was empty. All of my stuff was gone and so was Mizuki's. I waited for him, but he never came back." Iruka had tears running down his cheeks. "I thought I was trapped in a Genjutsu or something. Only three weeks later, when I saw people walking through me and not seeing me at all, not even noticing my presence, I realized that I was a ghost and that meant that I was dead."

Genma hadn't known that it was possible for ghosts to cry. There were about a million emotions battling in his body. He felt awful for Iruka, he wanted to be this avenging angel and go after the people who had done this to him, but more than anything Genma ached to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he would never do anything like that to him.
Iruka hiccupped and smiled softly. "You know it actually felt good to tell you about it. It helped to have someone like you to listen."

The trust in his eyes melted the jōnin's heart. "Now all we have to do is figure out what you need for closure. I need to know who they were."

Iruka listed the names, and Genma wrote them down. He planned to look them up in the photo album that he had put back downstairs, and then start his hunt. Everyone who hurt Iruka was going to have to pay somehow. Including Mizuki. Especially Mizuki.

..👻👻👻..

It was actually easy to figure out what happened to the three chūnins who attacked Iruka. In the weird way the universe worked, they had all kind of paid for it in some way.

The first guy, the one who had actually killed Iruka, went crazy after that night. Who knows if it was the guilt, or if he had always been unbalanced. He ended up in the mental hospital, where he stayed until he died two years later.
Neither one of his two accomplices faired much better. The second had died in a mission. All his teammates came back safe and sound, only he had died mysteriously. The last guy, didn't have a particularly violent death. Just a slow decent into oblivion. He ended up marrying a civilian women and got sick after two months. He drank himself to an early grave about a year ago.

Genma felt a little thrill of vindication when he finally dug up the details on the last guy's life and death. They deserved to be miserable. They deserved every thing they got.

To Iruka's credit, he didn't cheer and holler when he found out the fates of his attackers. It showed how amazing of a person he was that he could still feel some pity for people who had done something so awful to him.

The one mystery was Mizuki. He'd sold the house after Iruka's murder. There wasn't any record of him taking any mission, no record of him getting married, dying. Nothing. Genma had thought that he would be the easiest to find, since he was still alive. That turned out to be the opposite of the truth. Genma really hoped the man was still around. He knew he needed to find him if they had a chance of resolving Iruka's issues.

..👻👻👻..

After the night Iruka told him about the murder, the young chūnin started coming to his room every single night. Genma was sure, looking back, that Raidō probably wondered what the hell happened to him. He spent every night holed up in my room 'talking alone'. He had made up some bogus story of a long distance working on a new technique.. He just didn't want to spend any more time away from Iruka then he had to.

They had fun together, talking for hours, watching movies, playing games (Iruka was amazing at Shogi). Genma felt like he'd a real honest to goodness lover for the first time. He knew in the back of his head as soon as he found Mizuki it would be over and Iruka would be gone for good. He tried to push that fact to the furthest back corner of his brain.

Genma loved those nights. It was hard to say what his favorite part of Iruka was. He didn't want to admit it out loud, but he was falling in love with a ghost.

Of course he should have known It was too good to last.

He didn't know if it was bad or good, but through some twist of luck, he eventually did find Mizuki. He guessed it had less to do with luck, then with him running into Kotetsu and Izumo.

"I didn't know Iruka too well, Izumo knew him better than me." Kotetsu explained as he took Genma's mission report.

The special jōnin turned to Izumo who was sitting next to Kotetsu filling a document.

"Well," Izumo said. "me and Iruka-kun were classmates and friends in the academy and then we became teammates, but he was always with Mizuki. They were pretty different. Iruka was serious, honest and too kind for a ninja. But Mizuki, he was...arrogant and greedy. He always wanted more than what he already had. I'm sure what happened to Iruka-kun wasn't an accident and Mizuki has something to do with it."

'And you are right...' Genma sighed. He really didn't want this but he had to ask. "Do you where is him now?"

"Well, after the 'accident' he stopped taking missions and became a teacher? He teaches at the academy in the morning."

Genma frowned. He taught in the academy too, but he never saw Mizuki there. Probably because he taught in the afternoon and only a day per week. But at least he already know where to find the white-haired chūnin. Iruka would be happy, but he…

"Here Shiranui-san." Kotetsu interrupted his thought, handing him his stamped report. "Thank you for the good work."

Genma nodded and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Izumo sighed wearily as he leaned back on his chair. "Do you think they re-opened the case…you know about Iruka-kun?"

"I don't know," Kotetsu stopped writing and looked sadly at his friend. "even if they find something now, it's already too late, Iruka is…"

"He's not dead." Izumo snapped. "Not yet...there's still hope. Hokage-sama said..."

"Izumo," Kotetsu cut him off. "I didn't wanted to tell you this, but the Hokage already gave the doctors permission to turn off the machines. It's been five years already, he's not waking up. He died a long time ago, there's no more hope.."

Izumo didn't say anything at first, but then he whispered "When-when are they going to…" his voice was shaking, like he was about to cry.

Kotetsu bit his lower lip, not sure if he should answer him. He knew how much Izumo liked Iruka. They weren't just friends, they were like brothers. And that was probably why Izumo needed to know. "After tomorrow, in the morning..."

..👻👻👻..

For a moment, when Genma was standing in the teachers lounge with Mizuki's current address on a slip of paper in his hand, he thought about pretending he hadn't found the man so he could keep Iruka. He felt horribly selfish, but he honestly didn't know what he was going to do without Iruka. The thought made him sick to his stomach. The part of him that was happy for Iruka fought against the part of him that wanted to cry out in pain. Mizuki meant Iruka's departure.
In the end the jōnin couldn't do it. He couldn't be yet another person who betrayed Iruka. He carried the hated slip of paper home with him and waited in his room, chest aching queerly, for Iruka to get there.

The news that he'd found Mizuki didn't hit Iruka like Genma expected it to. He was a little bit happy, like he thought he'd be, but he also looked a bit crestfallen. Like a kid who lost their favourite toy. Genma hoped that look meant Iruka would miss him as much as he was going to miss Iruka.

Iruka thanked him, and sat next to him for a long time that night. They talked quietly about mostly nothing. Neither one of them wanted to predict what was going to happen when Iruka finally got his chance to confront the man he had loved. They didn't even want to think about it.

Tbc