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To live again	By : assassi Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1479 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This story is written for fun, not money.

Chapter List
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Chapter 31: Chapter 31 Tattoo fetishes and

Chapter 31 – Tattoo fetishes and harsh realizations
! Kotetsu POV again !
It was still early when I woke up – I could tell by the still grayish sky outside. My body felt light and worn-out in the same time, in that perfect way that only a night of perfectly satisfying sex could give you. My hipbones protested with a dull ache when I tried to move them; I probably had bruises. Wicked as that thought was it actually made me smile.
I looked beside me and my chest tightened with a feeling I couldn't quite describe.
He laid on his stomach, arms and legs thrown in every direction; his hair was messy and hid most of his face, revealing only his slightly parted lips – he was drooling a bit. His eyelashes were moving, indicating that he was dreaming and in a moment of extreme mushiness I wished he dreamt of me. His naked gracious back was all on display, showing his lean body. The sheet was barely covering his ass. Smiling again, I couldn't resist the temptation and slid the sheet lower, slowly, revealing the perfect firm globes… still reddened from our night. The memory of his tight heat all around me, squeezing me, pulling me deeper while he moaned and cried and begged… His face when he came and came again…
I shifted uncomfortably. But of course I'd cause myself a little "problem", by only recalling our first real night together, in one of the few mornings I hadn't already woken up with a morning wood.
Sighing, I covered his sleeping form with the sheet and stood up to go to the bathroom. Once there, I decided against the cold shower and turned on instead both faucets, sighing again as the warm water hit my back, relaxing my muscles.
Izumo's bathroom was pretty kinky – all the walls of the shower cabin were covered in mirrors and the lights in that section were stronger, sharper. On the other hand there was a coppery bathtub in the other corner with dim lights (and places for candles) and a curtain made of the lightest, transparent champagne colored material. I think that (pretty vast for a bathroom) part of his home represented Izumo the best – his horny, possessive, wild side… and his romantic side; the whim to have sex against a mirrored wall… and the need to snuggle in the bathtub with his lover.
Needing a shower that morning, I ended up on the bathroom's pervy side. I stood under the spray, with my face turned up for as long as I could hold my breath. Reaching blindly I grabbed his shampoo and began washing my hair; then I borrowed his shower gel and his bath sponge, lathering my body. His bath cosmetics smelled nice; woodsy. I liked it a lot. Standing once again under the spray and feeling my sore muscles finally relax I let out a little moan.
And someone else moaned with me.
I turned around, surprised. Izumo watched, awed. He looked surprised, amazed and horny in the same time. Catching a glimpse of myself in one of the mirrors I smirked, realizing why.
He'd never seen me with my hair down and wet. He was probably surprised it was that long when flattened by water – it actually reached my shoulder blades.
Another thing on said shoulder blades, and my whole spine for that matter, was my tribal tattoo – all black and complicated interlacing design. Izumo's eyes were glued on it, burning with a fire I knew all too well from last night. And if one didn't see those eyes, then they couldn't possibly miss his hard-on.
Sooo… tattoos made him horny? He had a tattoo fetish?
I smirked wider, beckoning him with a come-hither gesture. He almost stumbled towards me, stepping in the shower cabin with me. I ran a hand down his side.
"You like tattoos?"
He nodded vigorously.
"You like them even more on naked men, standing under a running shower, I presume?", I said with a low voice.
He nodded frantically.
"You want to be taken against that very wall, watching my tattooed back in the mirror behind me. Don't you?"
He whimpered, nodding urgently.
"Say it", I growled.
He looked at his feet. "T-Take me… please."
"Look at me", he did. "Now say it again."
He was beet red now. "Please… take… me."
Knowing about his playboy years before he met his previous partner, I found his embarrassment now pretty… endearing? Mostly because I could see it wasn't an act. He really was shy right now, with me.
He was watching his feet again. As I was cornering him, backing him up to the mirrored wall, I looked down too and watched as one of my feet settled between his, and one of his settled between my own feet. He wriggled his toes, making me grin and suppress a chuckle – it was funny to see such a shy, even a bit girly gesture, made with such big feet that screamed "manly".
Realizing I was openly staring, checking him out, I let my gaze slide up his body. My hands reached out to caress what my eyes saw and touching his wet skin was another new revelation; the way the water made its texture all different… silky, yet unable to hide the strength beneath it, the firmness of his muscles. His body was almost completely hairless – a few hairs on his chest, a few on his legs, nearly none on his arms… a few around his cock. I knew he only removed those on his armpits. Otherwise he didn't wax or shave any parts of his body. He hadn't had time to shave his face that morning too, and his stubble felt somehow erotic under my fingers and lips. I should tell him somehow, that I liked it that way – not overgrown, of course, but… a bit rough. Just manly enough. His hair was even more shiny when it was wet and it clung to his forehead when he dared to look up.
He parted his legs compliantly when I ran a hand on his thigh and I settled between them. When my hands offered the needed support, he slid up the wall and closed his legs around my waist. His breath hitched in that way that spoke of not only lust, but also nervousness. I tried to soothe him with kisses and little touches; I don't know how much those reached him since he refused to look at me and I therefore I couldn't reassure him with my eyes.
I nuzzled his neck, whispering the customary question. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah…"
His voice was just breathy enough to reassure me and I slid inside him. Even after last night his heat and the tightness surprised me. The catching of his breath, the little gasps, the way his arms tightened around my neck and his legs around my waist… the way he tried to stifle his moans and I could imagine him biting his lips…
"Are you ok?"
He nodded and I mostly felt that, since I couldn't see him well. I'd have liked to hear his voice and judge for myself if he really was ok, but this would have to do. I started moving, slower than last night, and his clutch tightened again. After some time he began meeting my thrusts. His little moans were ones of pleasure now, I was sure. His chin bumped into my shoulder – he was, indeed, watching my tattooed back as it flexed while I moved. His shaky hand traced the black ink and he moaned a bit louder. By the time I shifted his weight to support his body with only one hand and moved my other one between our bodies and around his member, he was half-sobbing.
"Am I reaching you?", I asked.
He knew what I meant – I asked if I was hitting his prostate, since I wasn't sure, being unable to see his face and with him, trying to suppress his moans.
"YES!", he rasped, his lips ghosting around my ear. And then he licked said ear.
Have I mentioned before that I have very sensitive ears?
"Izumo!", I half-screamed, leaning heavily onto him. I was coming and nothing could have stopped that, even if I'd had the chance to try. Luckily, he reached his peak in the same moment – he bit my shoulder to muffle his own scream, tensing and then going limp in my arms. We slid bonelessly on the floor, panting.
"That was great…. Thank you…", I murmured.
He shifted nervously. "I… I wanted to t-thank you… for last night, and now that too… I'm sorry I… eer…"
Fainted? Lost consciousness? I smiled.
"Stop apologizing for everything. I liked that; fucking you into unconsciousness."
He stirred nervously, again. "I… liked that too", he confessed.
I nuzzled his neck, kissing his shoulder. We stayed like that for a few more minutes and then we finally rose. He winced as I slid out from him and once he was on his feet, he staggered… badly. I grabbed him around his waist and his hands quickly grabbed my biceps.
"Izumo?"
"It… it's been a while", he confessed with a forced small smile, blushing deeply.
"How much… while?", I asked, suddenly suspicious, that I might have…
"A few… years."
Fuck. So… since Shiki.
"It's no problem, really… I-I've just… forgotten what it's like, that's all."
I had gone and overdone it. Waaaay overdone it if his shaking legs were any indication.
"I'm calling Namiashi. You're staying home today."
"I'm fine, I'm telling you! I'll just… take some vitamins and… I haven't even had my coffee yet…!"
"Stop your rambling! You. Are. Staying. Here today!"
He sighed, but then finally nodded compliantly. We showered quickly (I mostly cleaned us both, supporting him, and it was a miracle that the water hadn't gone cold while we were… busy) and then dried off briskly. He yelped when I lifted him bridal style and complained all the way to the bedroom where I deposited him on the bed before I went to call the captain. After a short talk with a grumpy Namiashi Raidou I returned to the bedroom, only to find Izumo half-sitting, half-laying, hands on his lap, looking utterly small and vulnerable. And lost in self-hatred. Again.
"I don't deserve this, Kotetsu; this care. Especially not from you."
I didn't know how to respond to this; so I simply bent down and kissed his brow.
"I have to go to work now. We'll talk when I get back."
He nodded miserably and snuggled further into the blankets.

I honestly don't know how I must have looked when I stepped into ANBU's room that morning, but Anko and Tsume immediately started gossiping in low murmurs, giggling, throwing me sidelong glances. Asuma smirked knowingly and I think Kakashi was grinning behind his mask. Genma, who'd dropped to see "us" (cough-Raidou-cough), whistled.
"My, my… Someone's gotten laid."
I swallowed a bastard line like "Twice since last night" and smiled a bit. The guys immediately started with the catcalls.
"Well, I see bursting into Bens' office during my every single visit paid off", Genma winked.
"About that… Gen, I'm really s-…", I began.
"Save it", he smiled. "I'm glad you guys are ok. Raidou wouldn't tell me a word about it, but I could see he was worried", he added, quietly, so Kakashi and Asuma didn't hear him. Obviously, Genma wasn't gonna act as if he wasn't aware that I knew about him and the captain; the captain knew I knew – and so Genma knew as well. Lovers' communication.
I coughed slightly. "How eer… how about you, guys? You two ok?"
Genma grinned. "We're fine. Really. And I appreciate that you asked", he winked.
"Why don't you go see her, by the way? Bens. I'm sure she'd find that… an important improvement in your relationship", Genma teased.
I growled something under my nose, but I knew he was right. I sighed and dragged my feet towards her office.

"So… you two had sex last night?", Bens asked, voice unnaturally calm.
She'd barely spared me a glance when I'd stepped into the room. She was filling some papers, glasses perched on the tip of her nose.
I nodded, not managing to suppress a tiny smile.
"You were on top, I presume? In total control?"
Something in her voice made me frown, even as I nodded again.
"Did you command him? Tossed him around like rag doll? Dominated him?"
Yes, yes, and yes. My stomach lurched. Was that some post victim behavior or something? Was I subconsciously trying to be quits with him? Was I going to hurt him?!
Bens abandoned the papers and took off her glasses to look at me, her expression soft.
"Calm down, Kotetsu. I see you realize the position you are in. Yes, there are some risks, but as long as you are aware of them things should be ok. First of all you must know that you two will never be the same again, like before that night. He won't be the same witty, confident guy. And that says something, because it's not always like that and there are guys who don't really feel guilt as deep as his. Because he still feels guilty, Kotetsu. I saw him and I know now for sure. He'll always feel guilty. He'll always remember. He'll always do whatever you want from him, never complaining, even if it hurts him. He'd let you; and he'd keep quiet about it."
I was terrified. I totally believed her – that sounded just like Izumo.
"He'll always be quite submissive to you, especially now in the beginning, driven by his guilt. You'll be tempted to use and abuse this side of him. You wouldn't even know till you've done it."
More and more terrified with her every next word…
"Kotetsu. I'm telling you this because I know you don't want to get back at him for what he did to you. You don't want to hurt him to feel better or get your pride back or whatever. I see your terrified face right now and I know you really stepped into this with the intention to make it work. To overcome and forget the past and live in the future. With him. I think it's honorable. I think, despite everything, because of you two and how unique you two are… that what you have, rocky as it is… is something worth fighting for. This is why I'm telling you the worse scenarios, so you'd manage to avoid them. And now that you've heard them and know them, I believe you'd manage that feat."
Uncomfortable silence fell in the room. I stood up slowly, still dazed from what I'd just heard and realized; I raked a hand through my hair.
"I… I need to go now."
She just nodded with understanding.

One look at my shell-shocked face had made Kakashi and Kurenai all but send me back home as if I was sick. I didn't even have to ask them to let me take the day off.
Silence met me when I stepped into the apartment. I sneaked to the bedroom and opened the door quietly; Izumo was asleep, on his back, arms around his head as if he were a baby. I smiled and closed the door. I had to set a few things.

"Izumo?", I whispered, moving aside a lock of brown hair. He scrunched his nose in a way that made me grin and my chest tightened. "Izumo…", I tried again.
Black eyes opened slowly. He blinked.
"Hey", he rasped.
I grinned wider. "Hey."
"Is it after work already?"
"No. They let me off."
"Mm? Why?"
"To prepare you a bathtub."
"Huh?!", he frowned.
I chuckled, but then became serious again.
"I had a talk with Benihime."
"Oh."
"It… opened my eyes for quite a few things. We need to talk."
"…oh."
He looked positively on edge now.
"About us…", I added.
He sank deeper into the blankets, obviously preparing for rejection.
"… and how we'd make this work."
His head shot up, his eyes wide and unbelieving, but hopeful… so hopeful.
"What?", he rasped again.
"I assumed you want this to work?"
"Yes", he whispered with so much passion and want that I felt my throat clenching. I coughed lightly.
"We need to talk. And you need… I mean, your muscles must be… Look, I know I overdid it and I'm sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you and I wanted us to both feel good and I… I need to take care for you now, okay?!"
He blinked, then nodded slowly. "…Okay."
My fingers shook as I undressed him, as if I hadn't all but ripped his clothes just last night. He was blushing and looking away as if he hadn't all but begged me for more just last night. He took off my T-shirt and I took off my remaining clothes. When we were finally both naked I bent down to pick him up, noticing again that he was lighter than usual. He was tense in my arms, his own hand shyly taking place around my neck as if asking if that was okay. I nuzzled his hair to tell him it was more than okay.
He let me carry him to the bathroom, although he firmly said he could walk just fine. I pretended not to hear him. Once in the bathroom he sniffed the air like a puppy.
"What's that smell?", he asked quietly. "It's nice."
"Bath salts. The girl in the shop said they'll help your sore muscles relax."
"…I'm afraid to ask what you asked her so that she told you as much", he mumbled.
I suppressed a chuckle, stepping into the bathtub and helping him step in too. I made him sit between my spread legs and relax his back to my front. He did so, stiffly, more tense than before.
"Izumo. The whole idea is for you to relax", I reminded.
He nodded curtly. I could see him forcing himself to lean back more naturally against me. It would have been funny if it wasn't disturbing.
He took a deep shaky breath, exhaled it and looked around.
"You lit candles", he noted.
"Mm… Too much?"
"…No", he whispered.
Silence settled between us; he wriggled his toes again, making me smile a bit. But then, remembering what I wanted to talk to him about, I became serious again.
"So, like I said, I went to see Benihime today."
"Mmm…"
"Yeah. She um… well; I guess it must have been written all over my face. She guessed right, that we'd had sex last night."
He tensed once again. "And?", he asked quietly.
"She's worried I might end up hurting you, without even meaning it."
"…HUH?!"
I sighed. "She explained that… if we keep this, things, up we might not be able to make it work, the way we now want to. She said… that you still feel guilt about what happened before and therefore you'd do whatever I want from you even if it hurts you. She said that made you more submissive to me and that side of you might … tempt me to make use of it. That your submissiveness, caused by guilt, might awaken… things in me, dark and ugly feelings that… might … make me… want to hurt you."
He remained quiet. I closed my eyes.
"I'd like it so much if you said that wasn't true. That you wouldn't just let me do whatever I want to you."
"…But then I'd lie, Kotetsu."
My eyes opened a bit, focusing on a small portion of wet naked skin in front of me. "So you'll just endure? Take whatever I throw at you, clench your fists and bear with it, even if it makes you fall apart from the inside?"
"…You have all the rights to hurt me. And knowing what I've done to you… yes; I'd bear with anything… you might need to do with me. Or to me."
I closed my eyes again. "Please don't say it", I whispered. "Please don't think that."
He gently rubbed my leg with his hand. "It's okay, Kotetsu. It's alright."
He was comforting me.
"It's not okay! It is SO NOT okay, Izumo!", I yelled; he didn't even flinch. "I don't want it that way", I added quietly. "Not that way."
He just rubbed my leg again.
He wouldn't change his mind just because I wanted him to, no matter what he said about the things I needed from him. His mind, I couldn't change like that. It only meant that I always had to be on edge with him, careful not to do just what Bens warned me about. So I'd do just that – I'll watch out, for both of us, taking care not to make a single wrong move on the rocky path that we walked on now.
Until he realized how I really wanted it to be, what I really needed and wanted from him… I'd be careful for both of us.

We moved back to the bedroom after that; Izumo bristled about being carried like that around the house, but once I laid him down and moved next to him under the blankets he shut it. He made a hesitant move towards me and I encouraged him, making him sprawl on my chest. I could feel he was still nervous though. He cleared his throat and started with a shaky voice.
"So, um… just so you know… i-it was…", he coughed slightly. "You only talk about eventually hurting me and overdoing it last night, so I thought you ought to know that… it was… I-I mean… v-very… good for me…"
I frowned. "What?"
He snuggled closer, hiding his face. "I-I mean it's been a while and I guess I needed it just as well, but… you know I can.. c-compare… and…. It was… it was… oh, Kami… Youweremybestokay?!"
I felt myself smiling a bit. "Come again?"
He groaned; I was sure he was beet red again. "I said… last night… and this morning… were my best. You were my best. Okay?!"
The animal inside me purred proudly. "Okay", I said, kissing his head. "Thank you."
He snorted loudly. "Thank me?!" He made small pause, snuggled closer and whispered "Thank YOU."
I smiled, kissing the top of his head again, gently rubbing his arm, flung across my chest, lulling him to sleep.

Chapter 32: Chapter 32 Working on it

A.N. So... I eer... will stop whining about life being unfair recently. Yeah. Now I'll whine about having lectures, again. So I'm kinda writing this in between them. Yeah... Ok, here, all whined. Do not flame a lot and enjoy.
Chapter 32 – Working on it
I stepped into the apartment I had unconsciously started calling "our" and dropped my messenger back near the door. I toed off my shoes, staggering; it had been a long day. We'd had a mission, beyond the border, which had demanded not so much brute power as sneaking and waiting for the right moment. Waiting is probably the thing that tires me the most. Add the journey back home, jumping from tree to tree like some mad squirrels, and I was exhausted. I had taken a quick shower at the station and hurried to come back, here, in our apartment, and just collapse on the couch.
A soft clinking sound from the kitchen, followed by a hushed voice, made me pause in my track and turn in said direction. I stopped at the door to the kitchen, crossed my arms, leaning on the wall by the door, and grinned.
"No, Jash, come on! I don't go eating your food! Or begging for that!", Izumo chided quietly, while Jash whimpered in his feet, all puppy-eyed adorableness. Izumo sighed, chopping the beef.
"You ate a full bowl of dog food. And a dog cookie. You are getting HUGE, man! What would the bitches say, hm? You need more exercise. Turn that fat into muscles, ya know? With those eyes and your built you're gonna be a heart breaker. Uh huh. Daddy would like a grand-puppy. Do think about that."
I couldn't hold my laughter anymore – I was almost rolling on the floor by that time, and Izumo turned to look at me, first surprised, and then with fake haughtiness.
"Oh. You're back", he said, trying for "coldly". Instead, he sounded like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Mm. I was intrigued by your conversation", I waved a hand between him and Jash, who was waving his tail, happy to see me.
"Well… do I lie?", he asked, motioning towards Jash.
"Ah… sorry, buddy, but he's got a point", I shook my head at Jash, who gave me a look that clearly said "Traitor! You only agree with whatever your bitch says!" He snorted and walked away.
"Starting tomorrow, I'm taking him out for a walk trice a day", Izumo nodded determinedly.
"M-hm."
"And we should talk to a vet, about a diet or something."
"M-hm."
"Are you even listening? Where do you put your hands?! I'm cooking here! Hey!"
"Shh. Just for a while. Please?"
He kept quiet and gradually relaxed in my arms as I hugged him from behind in the middle of the kitchen, tired from work and grinning like a lovesick fool.
I was working on accepting that I love this man, wrong as it might seem considering our history. And why should it be wrong? Everybody makes a mistake once in a while. And I'm not making up excuses for him – I could see how much our past affected him as well. And he apologized. Kami, he was apologizing every day, trying so hard to make it work. To make me forgive him, even though I told him I had already forgiven him.
I was in love with him; and was beginning to accept this was a normal thing.
I bent my head a bit and kissed his exposed neck.
"I'm home", I sighed.
"…Welcome home", he said quietly, his hand creeping over mine and squeezing gently.

The alarm clock rang, making us both jump. Izumo groaned, growled and hid under the blankets. Smiling sleepily I stopped the damn thing and blinked, trying to wake up.
"Izumo…", I rasped.
He mumbled something unintelligible from somewhere around my belly, where he had coiled like a snake. Vaguely wondering if that was how Anko woke up, I shook what I hoped was his shoulder gently.
"Come on, we need to get up already…"
"Mghshm…"
"…Sure. If you say so", I grinned, my eyes closing again.
I'd found out Izumo was not a morning person. Nor was I, for that matter. Rule number one in this house was: do not talk, walk or even breathe around me till I'd had my first coffee. Then, you may.
"Zumoooo…", I shook him again.
"Wlkd Jsh… yes-yesterdaaaay", (yawn), "Your turn."
"I walked Jash yesterday, now's your turn", I translated to myself.
"No… we need to go to work", I simply said.
He pulled the blanket tighter around himself. I sighed in defeat, but then something clicked in my head.
"Sex in the morning?", I tried, smirking.
His head emerged from the blankets.
"I'm awake."
I just couldn't hold back my laughter.

"'s cold…", he grumbled.
"You're always cold", I noted.
He sniffed, dragging his feet behind me. We were finally going to work – after we'd drown in coffee, ate, had sex in the bathroom again, had a real shower then, and dressed.
"We should put a bed in the bathroom", he grumbled some more. "My back's killin' me…"
"Well, someone needed to wake up", I smirked.
"'m not complainin'…"
"Just a little…"
"No, no. The sex part I like. I love it in fact…"
…Only a man can understand what an ego boost is to hear your lover talking like that about your… abilities. I must have had a Cheshire's cat grin on my face at this moment.
"…it's my back that is driving me crazy afterwards."
"You're getting old", I joked.
"You're the same age as me", he reminded dryly; then he sighed and added "Hidan's making some comments about my walk again…"
"Hidan better watch someone else's ass!", I growled lowly, surprising myself.
Izumo froze, wide eyed – I saw that when I turned around to face him.
"Are you…? Nooo", he half-smiled. "You cannot possibly be…?"
I looked away. "We'll take it easy from now on. Morning sex – only on weekends. No shower sex. I'll… I'll see that you are comfortable."
"So that Hidan won't check out my ass?", he tried to suppress a smile.
"Not only for that!"
"But that too."
"…that too."
He allowed himself a tiny, but real smile, and sneaked into my embrace. His arms hugged me around the torso and he placed a soft, chaste kiss on my lips. He said nothing, just snuggled for a bit, his head bowed and his brow resting on my chest. When he pulled back, he took a quick look at my bike and then looked up at me again.
"Let me drive you to work today. Please?"
I knew how he still felt about motorbikes. I knew that if it depended on him, he'd drive me to work every single day. I sensed there was an argument coming about that (if he ever gathered the courage to ask something from me), but now was not the time, yet. That's why I simply nodded.
"Okay."
He smiled contently and walked towards his car.

"I'll never be able to cook on this table; ever again…", Izumo murmured sleepily. I chuckled in the hollow of his neck.
Yes, we had just had sex on the kitchen table, for the first time. It had been rough, bruising, and altogether brilliant.
"But… if you want me capable of doing this again, you have to keep me well fed and energetic…", I teased.
"Damn… Well, there's the kitchen counter…", he mused, making me laugh again. He moaned.
"Mmm… don't do that while you're still inside me", he murmured in my ear, making me wanna moan. Instead I groaned and carefully slipped out of him. He winced a bit.
"Want me to carry you to the bathroom?", I asked.
"Mm… I'm fine", he said, carefully standing up and walking towards said bathroom, making a face as certain naughty juices flowed down his thighs. I was tempted to follow him, but I knew where this was going to end; and he needed some time to rest, from me. That's why I opted for the tissues for now and a shower later.
When Izumo joined me on the couch in front of the TV, dressed in baggy sweatpants and a worn T-shirt, I had cleaned myself, ordered the pizza and was eating the first small triangle. He grabbed another one, snuggled close to me and nodded to the TV.
"What's the movie called?"
"Don't tell me you've never seen Blade?!"
"Eer, no."
"!"
"Whaaat…?"
"It's a must-see!"
"A favorite of yours?"
"Yes!"
"Oh. Okay. Who's the big guy?"
"Erm, Blade maybe?"
"His name is Blade?"
"That's how he calls himself, yes. He was born Eric. Shush now."
"…Who's the ghostly guy? He's hot."
I laughed. He glared. "What now?!"
"His name is Frost actually."
"Oh…", he smiled a little, now understanding the joke.
"…Ew, ewww! Why do they do that!?"
"They are vampires, geez!"
"Pfft. But of course you'd like that."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"…You bite a lot. Haven't you realized that?!", he moved the hem of his T-shirt, showing his new, just received bite marks. I grinned.
"Mmm… "If I was your vampire, certain as the moon…"*, I sang with a low voice. He snorted.
"Yeah, right", but then he looked at me smirking. "And maybe you kinda are…"
He kept asking questions, some of them while chewing, still snuggled next to me and half sitting in my lap. That position, and the vampires on the TV, sucking on each other's necks, led to us, doing the same (minus the bleeding). With the movie completely forgotten, we were soon tripping towards the bedroom, clawing at each other's clothes, kissing and biting and pushing – I pushed him on the bed and he pushed his naked body flush to mine. We both moaned.
I slipped inside him easily – he was still loosened from before. And yet again – still tight. Hot. Easy to make a man lose himself inside him.
He moaned again, this time with pain – it sounded like the sound had slipped past reluctant lips, against his will – and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
"Izumo…?", I panted.
I heard him gulping dryly, then he rasped "Go on."
I pulled back and searched his eyes. It was in vain – he avoided my stare.
"Izumo…", I tried again.
"It's fine, go on", he groaned.
"Look at me."
I knew he'd comply with a direct order. He did so every time, since we got back together. It had to do with the guilt he still felt. And if I was right, his actions, now, had the same reason.
He finally, reluctantly, met my eyes. His were a bit watered. I winced – I had hurt him that bad, it seemed.
"What is it?", I asked softly.
He averted his eyes again. "I'm sore", he muttered.
I nodded and started pulling out as carefully as I could, apologizing quietly. Frantic movement startled me and in the next moment I was staring in wide black eyes, looking almost scared. Izumo's hands were clutching my biceps tightly, his short nails digging into my flesh; he was panting a bit.
"What-why?!", he blurted out, gasping. I frowned.
"You're uncomfortable, what kind of question…?", I started.
"I'm not bleeding. And-and even if I were… 's okay… go… go on…", his voice faded by the end, his cheeks turning red.
Gritting my teeth I pulled out gently and sat on the edge of the bed, turning my back to him; I needed a few seconds to pull myself together. I took a deep breath and faced him again, crossing my legs on the bed. His eyes flickered towards my still hard member and then returned to my eyes again.
"Now listen to me, cuz I'm only gonna say it once", I started. "This ain't punishment. I don't want to hurt you. Damn it, Izumo, stop acting a martyr! I forgave you, I'm trying to make it work…", I sighed, burying my fingers into my wild hair. "When we have sex, I want you to feel good. So tell me if you don't. When I yell or want to hit you, it's because the stupid thing you'd just done, and not because you'd hurt me in the past! So yell or hit back! Don't just endure… please. When we agreed we'd try, it was a real partner I wanted. Even with our past. Despite it. So work with me. Okay?"
He managed a stoic face only for a small nod, then hurried to turn his back on me, hiding his face. As if I wouldn't know what he was trying to hide. As if I wouldn't see his body shaking...
I sighed again and laid down. I waited a moment – he didn't turn. I grabbed his arm and turned him around – he immediately hid his face in my chest. Well, that was better. At least now he was snuggling, clutching onto me, holding me closer. I was hugging back, giving him warmth, giving him reassurance that we weren't as broken as we seemed now, just after an evening when everything had seemed perfectly fine for the time being. He whispered that he was sorry. I told him not to be. He said okay.
"You're still shivering", I noted.
"'m cold", he said.
I tightened my grip around him and lifted the blankets around us. He snuggled closer. After some more time, the shivering, the wetness on my chest disappeared. There was no more sex that night - he fell asleep, in my arms.
And that was good.

Entering the station on the next morning we passed Bens, who was dragging Hidan by the ear towards her office (I hope my inner evil grin hadn't shown on my face – yes, I did still remember Izumo telling that Hidan had been checking out his ass!).
"You two should come around soon, too!", she yelled in order to outshout Hidan's screams.
"We're fine now, thanks", I yelled back. And indeed we were. After last night's small talk and him having spent all night sleeping in my arms, we woke up with our arms and legs tangled, eyes looking at the other. We spent what seemed like hours just kissing – slowly, sometimes chastely, sometimes on the noses and eyelids and brows… exploring and telling each other… that it was real…
Beside me, Izumo blushed a little and his half-smile was back on his face. Nice way to start your day, I decided as we kissed quickly and parted, each walking towards his respective room. Changing my mind when I was almost there, I decided to visit the loo first. Upon entering I saw Iruka talking on the phone in the corner. He obviously didn't see me and continued with his conversation.
"You should just take the day off; I know I… Look, I'm sorry, Kashi. I know I overdid it last night…"
I smirked, both because I knew that feeling of guilt and pride in the same time and because I cheered for Iruka.
"Yes, I like it too… I know it was my turn last night, but I didn't mean… Yes. Okay. What, no! I'm not gonna…! No. I will not repeat after you! What, are we in the Academy now?... What questions?", big sigh. "Fine, shoot. … Y-yes", nervous cough. "Yes, I like it when it's my turn to top. But I like when you top too!", nervous laughter. "Okay, just… just so you know. … Yes. No, I'm not gonna…", heavy blush, a whisper. "I like it.. w-when I'm i-inside you. … Love you too. Yeah… just… take it easy today, okay? Mmh. Bye."
He turned around, saw me grinning and all color drained from his face.
"Oh, Kami…! I… Damn. You obviously heard enough."
I nodded, still grinning.
"Just… just don't let him know you know, okay? He's… he's a very closed person and he only lets me…", he caught himself babbling and stopped. "So, ugh, yeah. Not a word, okay?!"
"Okay", I nodded reassuringly.
"Ugh, thanks", he smiled, blushing a bit. "Wanna go out on Friday? I'll buy you a beer if you don't tease him…"
I chuckled. "Weeeell, if you'd buy me a beer…"
He laughed too, patted my back and left.
My grin faded. A thought I did not want to acknowledge was trying to wreck havoc in my soul.

„So, um… Remember when you told me I could always come talk to you about… eeer, man-relationship problems?"
Genma gulped from his beer and blinked.
"I believe I meant questions about sex, but oh well… shoot."
"Eer, they kinda are. A-about…. Yeah. So. The captain and you…. I mean…"
"Whenever you're ready, Kotetsu...", he grinned.
"Do you switch the roles?", I blurted out.
Genma frowned a bit. "Since we became serious about each other, seriously together… yeah."
"Oh."
"You mean Kamizuki and you never…?"
"We… have a history."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"… Well, that was awkward."

"…so I said I wouldn't, of course. What's gotten into him, I wonder? … Kotetsu?"
"Huh?", I turned my head to face him. He was driving back home so he only spared me a quick glance before his eyes were on the road again.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah… yeah."
"Where are you?", he asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
"Here. Here with you", I forced a smile on my face.
"Hmm. I was thinking of making burritos for dinner. How about that?"
"I'm okay with anything you cook today", I just said. He gave me another quick look.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Sure I am! The way you said that it sounded like I'm usually impossible to live with."
He remained quiet for a moment, then said with the same gentle voice "Quite the opposite…"
Dinner time passed in tense silence. I couldn't stop thinking about the talk I'd had with Genma and the one I overheard from Iruka; and I couldn't stop thinking about the thing I'd decided to do, just now. Probably having decided I was just being pensive and needed to be left alone, Izumo remained quiet as well.
He finally stood up, taking away the dishes and I took a deep breath.
"Why don't you go take a shower? I'll have one later", I offered.
I could see by the faint frown that he knew something was not quite right, but he just nodded and did as he was told. I waited to hear the water running, then (taking some more fortifying breaths) I walked into the bedroom and began undressing.

His first words when he came from the bathroom, with only pajama bottoms, and with water dripping down his fucking sexy body, were: "Are you mocking me?"
I needed a second to realize that this, now, was a twisted retrospection of his little display some days (or weeks) ago. I laid, spread naked on the bed, waiting for him. It took all my will to open my legs in a shameless, perverse way. My hands gripped the headboard and my breathing was labored; I fought to keep my eyes opened and on him.
"You do this for me. We are together now, for real. If I want this to work, and I want so, I have to… have to…"
Damn it. It still hurt. I still couldn't even say it. And I expected him to do it.
Realization and understanding dawned on his face.
"Kotetsu…", he began slowly, with that same gentle voice.
"No, don't start with those bullshits! I heard Iruka and I talked with Genma and… j-just… do it!"
He just shook his head.
"What, are you scared?!", I half-yelled, provoking him.
He gave me a blank look. "A little", he confessed. "But if you think I can "just do it", then we are not really together, Kotetsu; and you still see me as that drunk, mindless creature that didn't give a damn about your feelings. I made a mistake. I am not like that."
My eyes widened; I sat up, my legs bent and flush to my body. "I didn't mean…! Zumo, come on! That's not what I…"
He sighed. "Get dressed. Or at least put on some boxers. I'll sleep in the spare bedroom tonight if you want me to…"
"B-But! Zumo, please!"
I felt angry tears pricking my eyes and looked away in shame, my arms going around my knees.
I heard him sighing again; then the mattress sunk under his weight as he crawled right next to me. A finger lifted my chin, as he made me look at him. He smiled, a bit forcedly.
"Put on some boxers. I'll sleep here tonight, if you want me to, but I'm not gonna take you."
I opened my mouth again, not really knowing what I wanted to say. He put a finger over my lips.
"Let's not discuss it right now. You are not ready. I am not ready… I promise you that you not being… capable to give yourself to me, isn't going to be a problem in our relationship…"
"For now", I added bitterly.
"For now", ne admitted.
So… he'd like that; one day.
"When you're ready", he said, as if having read my mind, "When we're ready. Now… do you want me stay here tonight?"
I nodded vigorously.
Fuck all masculinity, I just needed to be held tonight…
A.N. Nice reviews do make me happy. I'm also a follower of the wisdom "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all"... or something like that. You got the point.

Chapter 33: Chapter 33 Development

Chapter 33 – Development
"…and thyme, don't forget to buy thyme! Ugh! I…better buy something from "Gene's Grill", I'm sure I'll mess it up!"
"Breathe, Kotetsu. It's just Mom and Aiko. And you've cooked that stew. I love it."
"You love everything I cook…"
"Because I love you."
"…"
"I mean… shit…"
"I eer.. yeah… love you too. And stuff."
He chuckled. Kami, I loved to hear him laugh; and he did it so rarely. As if he found it improper to laugh around me.
"And stuff? What stuff, pray tell?", he asked.
I smirked, holding my cell with my shoulder and chopping the meat for dinner.
"Well, you know… stuff like your six pack. I love to see it flex while I…"
"Okay, okay! Geez, I'm at the market, Tetsu, don't give me a hard-on!", he hissed in the phone.
I laughed whole-heartedly; that made him pause a bit.
"And I love that sound", he said quietly, making me smile.
"What are you doing for dessert?", I asked, changing the subject.
"Apple pie. The one with the whipped cream on top… which I only add for you, there's no whipped cream in the original recipe…"
"Mm. And thank you for that. There's no cinnamon left, by the way. You used it all the last time…"
"… at 3 in the morning on a beautiful Saturday, when someone decided he absolutely needed apple pie, just then", pause, I could imagine him shaking his head with that half-smile on his face. "Sometimes I feel like I'm living with my pregnant wife."
"Aaaw, but honey", I said, modulating my voice, "I did repay you…"
"…using the leftover whipped cream on me."
"Mmm", I palmed my rising erection. "Get back quicker, please. There's still some time before I need to panic again and we could… you know…", I smirked.
He sighed. "I know. I just bought some extra whipped cream."
"Mm, my thoughtful husband", I grinned, saying that with the modulated voice.
He snorted and hung up.

"Here we are!", I said, serving the steaming stew. The way Izumo looked at me showed me just how much my inner hysteria showed on the outside.
"Oh, it looks marvelous! Did you learn the recipe from your mother, Kotetsu?", his mother smiled kindly. I coughed nervously, but Izumo hurried to save me from having to answer that.
"He's a natural talent", he smiled, giving me a quick "It's ok"-look. I smiled back in appreciation.
He knew the story of course; about my messed up relationship with my whole family – the brother and father who hated me enough to nearly kill me, and the mother who wasn't strong enough, or simply didn't care enough, to stop that. He knew it all, having wrung it out of me in my post-orgasmic bliss, while he was contently laying in my arms, caressing me gently and encouragingly. He knew how sore the topic was and never brought it on, ever again, once he learnt it. What's more, he'd gotten overprotective and always changed the subject when the conversation became dangerously close to said topic.
He helped me serve the meal in the dishes and waited for the reaction as if he were the proud mother of a genius; once again, that's a look my own mother had never showed me.
"Oooh! It's amazing, Kotetsu! Absolutely fantastic!", his sister said once she'd tasted the stew.
"Brilliant!", his mother agreed. "I want the recipe!"
The soft "ding!" saved me from having to answer that (I'm sure I was blushing) and Izumo stood up.
"That's for the pie. Tetsu, some help?"
"Sure", I followed him.
He pulled the pie out from the oven and I pulled the cream out from the fridge, handing it to him. He shook the bottle and started coating the dessert. He used the whole packing, shaking it some more by the end to get all the cream out. His hand and even his nose ended up coated in bits of cream, thanks to that. Forgetting about the public, I was only happy to help him get rid of it, licking first his nose and then sucking his fingers, suggestively. He bit his lower lip, his eyes hooded. He bent down his head for a kiss…
Soft giggles made us come to our senses, blush heavily and look in different directions as his mother and sister started with the cat-calls.
But when we finally joined them on the table they both looked… happy. Proud. And what worried me – grateful; to me. I avoided their eyes for as long as I could and thankfully there were no thank-you-for-what-you've-done-for-Izumo declarations as the one his mother had come to tell me some weeks ago. We enjoyed a normal dinner.
Like a real family.

It was Monday and I was miserable. It was cold outside and Izumo found another reason to give me a ride to work and gently forbid me to ride my bike. We'd had no time for a decent shag this morning (yes, despite my Hidan-provoked promises) and I'd found out I wasn't up for quickies anymore… at all. Not with him, anyways. I wanted a long, leisurely shag or no shag at all. I could wait for it. I would.
I stuffed some more chocolate into my mouth in the meantime.
And then, in that grey, miserable, Monday moment, my phone rang.
"Hello?", I answered grumpily.
"Hello, Kotetsu…", the voice said gently. My eyes widened.
"Kiba!"
He chuckled. "Hi."
"Where are you?!"
"…I'm back."
"Where?! I'll come meet you…!"
"Woah, take it easy!", he laughed nervously. "I, eer… so… how are things going with Izumo?"
"…Okay, I guess… Kiba, look, I'm sorry…"
"No, it's ok, it's ok! Why don't you take him and meet u- me at Spade?"
"Okay…"
"Great, so tonight, at eight?"
"Yeah… Kiba, is everything alright? Are you ok?"
I could almost hear his lopsided smile. "I'm ok now. Really. See you tonight."

Ah… so that's how it was.
Kiba walked in, smiling, hand in hand with a tall man, dressed with black desert robes. The stranger looked creepy at first, because of the purple face paint – I recognized one of Suna's desert tribes' markings, which the men of age there wore. My first reaction to everything related to Suna was to tense, but then I remembered it was the only liberal tribe in the desert. More than liberal actually – their own leader had a wife and an official male lover.
It was just like Kiba to call first and make sure I was happy with Izumo before he could allow himself to show us that he also was happy. He wouldn't do it if there was a chance I'd be alone and hurt by his newfound happiness…
I smiled to myself as they sat down and greeted us, then Kiba said, pride badly hidden in his voice "Guys, this is Kankuro. My boyfr…"
"Fiancé!", the man insisted, making Kiba's face turn deeply red.
"I didn't say yes!", Kiba hissed quietly.
"I'll make you…", the man purred. Kiba turned a deeper shade of red.
"We do not get married to other men here!"
The guy shrugged, smiling. "Not a problem. I'll snatch you back in the desert…"
Izumo was already laughing next to me; even I decided I liked the guy. Kiba, who obviously couldn't get any redder, gave a frustrated growl. "Go get me something to drink!", he ordered.
"Yes, my princess…", the guy bowed mockingly, earning himself a hard smack upside the head. Izumo laughed harder.
"Wait, I'll come with you", he said in between bolts of laugher, then stood, winked at me and walked away. The message was clear: Kiba looked so glowingly happy with that guy, that even in Izumo's possessive eyes, it was no longer a danger to leave me alone with him for a bit.
Kiba sighed dramatically and smiled apologetically. "It seems I always fall for the mysterious guys from the desert, huh?"
I grinned back. "So it seems. Does Tsume know already? Have you introduced her to her son-in-law?"
He tried to frown over his smile and waved a forefinger at me.
"It's not funny! I don't even know how he decided this! How would I ever tell my mother is something I don't even dare to think about!"
I chuckled. "Do me a favor, will you? Make sure I'm around when you tell Tsume – I don't want to miss that!", I laughed.
Kiba just growled.

Chapter 34: Chapter 34 The bird

A.N. Here goes the angst. But do now worry, fluff is coming up, and so is the end of the story. And don't forget - leave a review, feed an author ;)
Chapter 34 – The bird
! Izumo POV !
It started like any other day, normally.
The damn alarm clock rang. I groaned and dove under the blankets. Somewhere above me Kotetsu snorted.
"Come ooon….", he rasped.
Mm, sexy voice in the morning.
But still…
"No."
"We have to go to work."
"Why?"
"Eerm, they pay us for that?"
"Not enough."
"You like your job."
"Generally. When it's not cold. Now's cold. And you're warm. I like warm."
He chuckled. "You're babbling."
"I'm allowed to. It is cold and early and … that."
He laughed harder. "Sure."
"…"
"…"
"Come on. Offer me."
"Hm?", he groaned.
"Offer me a way to wake me up properly."
I could hear the smile in his voice. "Well, I can make you some really strong coffee…"
"Kotetsu", I warned.
"Whaat?", he asked innocently.
"…the other thing…"
He gave a dramatic sigh. "Oh, lover, I bribe thee with sex. There, wake up."
Moving the blankets aside I rested my head on his chest and smiled.
"Ah, when you ask so nicely…"
He ginned predatorily.

The sky was stormy gray when we stepped outside. It was cold and the wind was only intensifying the chill. Something, a feeling I couldn't quite describe, clenched my gut and I shivered.
"Cold again?", Kotetsu teased.
"I'm always cold", I said absentmindedly. A birdcall from above made me look towards the sky again. A few black birds were skimming over the gray streets.
"Crows", I muttered.
"Hm?", Kotetsu looked up. "What about them?"
"It's a bad omen…", I said.
He snorted. "That's what you get, being raised by three women."
I frowned, but forced a smile on my face as he teased me some more.
"Get in the car, please. Just… indulge me. Let's not argue today", I pled.
He frowned, but, after giving me a huge sigh, got inside the Mustang. I shot another look up before I took the driver's seat. The crows above us just cawed mockingly.

There was a gloomy feeling hanging in the air at the station. The guys were all grumpy, some blaming the weather (Reiji and Inoichi), some – their love life or lack of such (Hidan), and some were just generally apathetic (Shikaku).
"My stomach feels weird", Iruka complained, stroking his abs.
"Maybe you've eaten something spoiled", I suggested.
"Naah. It's the weather", Reiji declared, limping theatrically. We all knew the story of the leg that he'd broken as a boy and that hurt every time it rained. And sure enough…"My leg's killing me. It's going to rain."
"That's bullshit!", Hidan yelled. We all turned to look at him and saw he was actually shouting on his cell. "What! I'm not mocking you, just… This is stupid, Sui, and I ain't… Fine! I'll just fuck someone else!", Hidan threw the mobile on his desk. "Omens…", he muttered under his nose.
What, he too…?!
"Hey, Hidan, what…?", I started.
"What, what! Bitches' shit!", he yelled, jumping up and kicking his chair in frustration.
And that's when it happened.
The captain burst into the room and shouted, "Everyone, gather up! There's been an explosion downtown; gunshots are reported from the mall, some say even grenade launchers…"
Most of us didn't even hear him out till the end.
We were on our way.

I can't really recall everything from that day. I remember certain parts though. The most important ones… the critical ones…
It was a small chaos when we arrived. There was a crater in the middle of the street, rubble and pieces of pavement scattered everywhere… people, laying on the street… wounded… or dead… Women screaming and children crying in between the sound of gunshots and the rain of bullets…
"Get down, Kamizuki! Behind the car, behind the car!", the captain yelled somewhere near me. I bent down a bit and turned around. Namiashi Raidou's wide eyes scanned the scene, seemingly inspecting if all his men were present and not wounded. But if anyone was to look closely… his eyes searched for the masked covered ones of those who fought to kill, Konoha's best weapon.
ANBU.
There were seven masked people fighting along with us. Not six; seven. Genma had put on the mask again, holiday or not.
Next to the captain, Iruka's wild eyes looked between the white masks, worry and a small inner hysteria painted on his face.
I knew exactly how they felt. Somewhere there, besides Genma and Kakashi… Kotetsu was under those same bullets, a target for grenades and riffles. Even the intimate partner of an ANBU didn't know what mask their loved one hid behind. Not even the wives and husbands of the black ops knew.
Yes, I knew exactly what Iruka and the captain thought.
Was Genma the one behind the lion mask?
Was Kakashi the one behind the wild cat mask?
Was Kotetsu behind the dog mask?
Another explosion wrecked the square. Another grenade.
In the middle of the chaos of ricocheting gravel a small blond baby girl was crying, gripping a teddy bear.
"Mommyyy!"
An ANBU standing nearby turned around. Under the hood of the ANBU gear a few strands of wild black hair swung forward.
No. No, wait, Inuzuka Tsume has dark hair too…
But that was a man's body.
He turned and ran towards the child. And I knew those hands, swishing back and forth as he ran. I knew those strong legs.
"Kotetsu…"
A faceless man, an enemy, jumped up from behind his cover, his hands gripping a machine gun… wondering, aiming between the child and the ANBU.
"KOTETSU!"
The ANBU froze, turning around to look at me.
"No, no, lie down, lie dooooown!", I screamed, running towards him, waving my arms like a madman.
The ANBU cocked his head.
I jumped.
In some stories it is described how everything turns black or there is some general pain.
I felt every single bullet piercing my flesh.
"…!"
Once… twice… thrice… Four, five...
Now, the other things… those were a blur.
Like the sounds. Everything went mute for some time. I could see more bits of gravel flying around us, but heard no sound of more explosions. Someone grabbed the blond kid – she was crying, but again, there was no sound. She was whole and wasn't bleeding. Ah… okay. Good.
From then on it was all like an old, damaged movie – the sound turned on, high and making me flinch, then faded… I saw certain scenes with no connection between them…
…A shoe flying above me…
…A boy with white hair and purple eyes, gone wild with worry, screaming Hidan's name… Hidan… turning around, with a face so serious… woah… I didn't know he knew how to be serious… he was… handsome like that… He saw the boy, his eyes widened. "Stay back, Suigetsu! Find a cover for now and… and then go home!", "But Hi-…!", "Stay back!... Stay alive. I'll see you at home, baby, just go home!"
The scene faded…
…Iruka, running, with a small boy in his arms, pressed to his chest…
…Reiji and Inoichi, pressed back to back, shooting with both hands like in those really corny western movies…
…a mother, crying and hugging the blond baby girl…
A mask… bloodied and tossed on the ground with the rain (…rain?) pouring down on it.
"IZUMOO!.!.!"
I tried to focus my gaze. Above me the sky was torn by a lightning. A face, maskless and scrunched with pain, was bent, right above my face.
"K..tsu…"
I coughed. I coughed out blood.
"Sssh, don't, just don't… oh Kami sama!"
He was freaked out.
Oh.
It was… that bad, huh?
The battle around us had quieted down. Huh… when had it all ended? The cops were gathering the civilians, ushering the survivors towards the safer zones, helping the wounded… trying to bring order into the chaos…
My vision was blurry - Kotetsu's pained face swam in and out. Damn… I wanted to remember his face clearly. I wanted to tell him not to cry; I didn't deserve his tears… Instead, I smiled bloodily and groaned "Hey, I th-think I… see the b-bird…"
He frowned, through his tears, as if asking "What?" Of course he didn't get it – we'd had this talk so long ago.
"My tattoo… the bird… sh-shinigami…", I groaned.
"NO!", he screamed insanely, his eyes suddenly wide with realization. "I won't let you! I won't let him have you! I'll make a deal! I'll… give him something else…!"
I knew he wasn't thinking straight, but hurried to interrupt him before he could say "someone else".
"Baka… You can't fool a shi-shini…gami. You can't… fool death…."
He was shaking badly now, his face showing the level of insanity he had reached. "Ok, just… I know you can, Zumo… Ok? Just… don't die. Ok? We… we're doing just fine now, right? Please, baby… we fought so hard, we managed to get here, to make it work… Just… please don't die… I know you can, Zu… just hold on, ok? Just a lil bit more… The medics are coming… Izumo, if you stay with me… Oh, Kami…", he began sobbing in earnest. "…anything. I'll give you anything … you want… just… please…. I can't… I can't…"
I swallowed hard and tasted my own blood. I frowned in pain.
"Te…tsu…", I tried.
"I know you can, baby… I know …", he was whispering in my ear now. I doubt anyone was listening before, but now they couldn't hear a thing even if they wanted to. "I know you can. Please… for me..."
"Tetsu…"
"Yes...", he brushed off his tears and tried to smile. It looked painful.
"Okay…"
"Huh?"
"For you… I'll stay…f-for … you."
He smiled a bit more naturally now. Still strained, still worried outta his mind… but more like himself.
"Yeah?", he asked.
"Yeah…", I groaned weakly, coughing some more blood. Kami sama it hurt!
"Tetsu…"
"Yeah?"
"Give me… your hand…", I groaned. He did and I grabbed on it, as if to remain alive; by the way that he frowned slightly I could tell my grip wasn't really all that hard right now. "Need to… hold onto s-something… cuz it… f-fucking hurts!"
He bent down lower again and whispered "Don't talk… Just think about my hands, babe… embracing you, loving you…forever. Just stay alive, Zu. Stay with me…"
I'll claim later that those tears that filled my eyes then were from pain only. I wasn't gonna lie… Much.
He tried to smile encouragingly – still too nervously, but it was better than his breakdown. I heard the sirens then and a moment later I lost him of my sight as they were getting me into the ambulance. As soon as I was inside however, he jumped in too and grabbed my hand, gripping hard. I saw the look he shot at the medic then – full of hope, begging… The guy shrugged a little. "We'll do whatever we can, but it's in Kami's hands now", the gesture said. Kotetsu clenched his jaw.
My eyes closed…
When I opened them later the first thing I saw was him of course. He was asleep, sitting on the chair next to my bed, head and arms on the bed itself, his hand gripping mine. He looked exhausted…
"You scared the shit outta him", someone said. I turned around and frowned a bit. I wasn't expecting… him…
As if he had read my thoughts, Kakashi said, like he was apologizing, "Iruka went for some coffee."
My eyes turned back on Kotetsu. "Wh…", I cleared my dry throat. "Why did I scare him?"
"When they brought you here, for a moment or two… there was a flat line. Kotetsu lost it. It took five guys to hold him, me and Asuma included. Genma still has a bruise under his left eye."
My eyes began itching. I lifted up a shaky hand and threaded it in his wild hair. He immediately stirred, he looked up… his eyes widened… and watered.
I vaguely heard Kakashi leaving the room, before Kotetsu grabbed my hand and started kissing it, small and quick kisses, as if he couldn't believe… His own hands were shaking badly – those strong hands, the hands of an ANBU. He suddenly grabbed me and squeezed tightly.
"Izumo…!", he whispered shakily.
"Heeeyy… it's ok now. I'm here… I'm here…"
He said nothing, just tightened his embrace. I didn't tell him I was still in pain – I just tried to hold him as tight as I could in return.
We didn't need words.

Chapter 35: Chapter 35 Body and Soul

A.N. Here it is, last chapter. Prepare the tissues ;)
Chapter 35 – Body and soul
Kotetsu POV again
It was around midnight when I stirred again from my seat next to Izumo's bed. Of course the nurses had tried to shoo me out, but one glare was enough to make it obvious I wasn't gonna leave. Well, that and the whole ANBU unit of Police Station ¹7, standing behind my back, I suppose. They'd let me stay in his room. Izumo on the other hand tried to lure me in the bed, next to him. But even knowing how much he liked to snuggle I didn't dare – he looked so fragile, all bandaged and barely moving, drugged with strong painkillers. I didn't even dare touch him, aside from holding his hand and placing the gentlest of kisses on his brows and nose and lips. That was enough to keep me relatively sane.
It was something he'd said a few hours ago that had shaken my world again, just like that, while we'd been talking quietly, me sitting in my chair and he – laying on the small hospital bed.
"Kotetsu… are we… I mean… are we even now?"
I'd frowned. "What?"
He'd immediately looked aside, having misunderstood me once again.
"Nothing, I just…"
"Did you throw yourself in the way of those bullets, just to make us even?!"
"NO!", he'd shouted, eyes wide and startled. "I-I… did it… to make sure you stayed alive."
I shook my head. "Don't ever do that again. Don't ever risk your life for mine. And don't… don't even think about… Haven't I told you, so many times, I forgave you, Izumo! There is nothing to be even about, okay?!"
"Okay… okay…", he'd said quietly; dejectedly.
I'd sighed. "If it's gonna make you feel better… if you demand that we keep notes… in the grand, cosmic scheme of things, yes, we are even."
His eyes had watered – I'd seen them before he'd looked down at the sheets – and he'd shrugged, forcing a small smile. "I guess I… just needed to hear that, you know? I'm sorry…"
And my chest had ached again, and I'd jumped up and grabbed him and hugged him tight, for a moment forgetting about how fragile he was right now. "Don't apologize. Don't cry, don't think about that anymore… Look, just… I need you be at peace, okay?"
He'd just snuggled closer to me, mumbling something in my chest.
"What?", I'd asked.
"I said thank you…", he'd mumbled.
"What for?", I'd frowned.
"I … after Shiki and-and… then everything that happened between us… I just… never thought that…", he sighed. "You taught me to live again, Kotetsu", he whispered.
Dumbstruck and left speechless I could only hold him, both of us shaking from the power of his confession.
That had been a few hours ago. I looked at his peaceful sleeping face now and quietly left the room.
Only to freeze again.
The waiting room was full. Iruka's bandaged head was resting on Kakashi's shoulder as freely as Tsume's head was resting on Ibiki's broad shoulders. Even a very rounded (and on a maternity leave) Kurenai was here, her head resting on Asuma's chest as his bandaged arm was flung protectively over her shoulders. Anko was snuggled next to Gai, both with scratches on their faces and arms. A dozing off Hidan was also here, with a heavy looking cast on his broken leg and a sleeping Suigetsu, wrapped possessively around him. But if that surprised me, then the presence of His Royal Apathy-ness Itachi and even Mr. Don't Give a Damn Kakuzu really shocked me. Kisame was also here, as were Reiji, Inoichi and Shikaku, but they were friends – I kinda expected them to stay for a bit. Even the captain and Genma sat next to each other, not blatantly hugging or anything, but still – closer than they'd ever allowed themselves to be in public.
They all shifted when they heard me exiting Izumo's room and suddenly all eyes were on me.
"You guys… you didn't have to…", I mumbled, still a bit shocked.
"Quit babbling. How's he?", Genma asked.
"Okay… He's okay", I all but whispered, smiling a bit.
Some relieved sighs and smiles followed that.
"Do we know who they were already?", I asked.
"Terrorists from Suna and the Mist. Both countries denied any connections with the rebels", the captain said.
I nodded, but then frowned and turned to Tsume, opening my mouth to ask her…
"They're fine, Kiba and Kankuro", she smiled a bit. "They were at the market of all places, heard the explosion and got back home. Or should I say, my stupid son ran towards the big commotion and his guy, bless him, grabbed him and just walked in the opposite direction."
I grinned. "So, erm, did they…"
"Yep. They told me. You missed it", she grinned back.
"Damn", I chuckled.
Then I turned around and looked at them all again.
"Look, guys… it means a lot and thank you for staying but… Just go home already. It was a rough night and you all look like shit…"
"Thanks man!"
"Yeah, real nice, Kotetsu!"
I smiled again. "Thanks again. All of you. Really."
Hidan was the first to sigh dramatically and stand up slowly, groaning, and supported by Suigetsu.
"Come on, bitches, the guy just shooed us off."
They laughed and began standing up one by one. I smiled again and quietly got back inside his room.

Izumo's nearly suicidal act was seen by the big bosses as a shout for attention for a quite hot issue – love between police officers and ANBUs (also between two cops, two ANBUs and so on included). They argued and argued and finally allowed it with a special clause. Which was funny in a way – what, people had loved each other even before, but now they were allowed to?
Anyway. There was a change after all. As in said people were caught making out freely in the closet rooms and even hallways, now that there was the Clause.
So, a second clause was written – "No making out/making love in the hallway damn it!"
I laughed my ass out when I read it. Izumo did too – even reopened one of his wounds and had to get stitched up again.
They kept him in the hospital for a month – it was lonely at home without him, but when I said so the doctors just glared and reminded me what a miracle it was that he was alive and in order for him to remain alive they had to keep an eye on him. Well, when they put it like that… I agree. Totally.
Bens made sure to drag me into her office and have a nice long monolog with me about how Izumo was actually right and even if I didn't admit it, even to myself, I'd needed such an act of a pure and real (insanity) sacrifice in order to really deem us even and stop digging into our past. I sat and listened and when she stopped talking, just stood up and left.
I wasn't gonna acknowledge the little voice in my head that admitted she was right.
Once Izumo was discharged (with a stern look from the doctors who very pointedly forbade any straining of his body) we made a party at the station.
Another thing that came with the battle and the clauses and everything was that the cops finally stopped hating the ANBUs and saw what cool guys we were. So we were actually able to have fun at the party now. Who would have thought some 6 months ago, huh?
What no one saw coming too was Genma's promotion to Head Commander of Police Station 7's ANBU unit. After all Kurenai was supposed to not only give birth, but also raise her child, right?
So, with his place in ANBU permanently vacated, and with me having fit in so easily, it was all pretty much decided in advance. So, yeah I was now a permanent member of ANBU.
"You look great."
I turned around and smiled. He was leaning on the door case to the bedroom, still not able to stand up on his own for longer than a few minutes. I'd found a way to cope with that which was oh-so-conveniently an excuse to hold him too. I hugged him now as well, nuzzling his neck and inhaling that scent that drove me crazy.
"How are you feeling today?"
He sighed, but didn't move back; in fact he snuggled closer. "I'm fine, Kotetsu. You worry too much."
"…Probably cuz I held you while you were…"
"I'm here", he moved back a little, only to look me in the eyes. "I'm here, Kotetsu."
I could only nod curtly, frowning a bit. I forced a smile, mostly for him, and asked, "Are you up for a party?"
He snorted. "I'll manage. Come on, let's go."
The Police/ANBU party was in full swing when we arrived – people were dancing, some of them very heatedly, others had attacked the alcohol and a certain masked ANBU had attacked Iruka in the corner. I smirked, shaking my head.
Hidan had taken his place as a DJ, but the sight of a disgruntled looking Suigentsu, glaring at his back and demanding attention, hinted he'd have to give up his role to someone else any minute now.
Kurenai and Asuma were all lovey-dovey, kissing gently (mostly playing with each others' lips and grinning like idiots) and Anko was all but performing a lap dance for a red faced (but happily red faced) Gai.
Genma was a wearing a T-shirt saying "Nice! Just do me! … Wait, it wasn't like that…". He was also walking a bit funny, so Raidou, who had a positively possessive look on his face while he was checking out his own boyfriend, might as well have put on a T-shirt saying "Just did."
Izumo went to say hi to Reiji and the others, who cheered when they saw him, so I took the opportunity to tease Namiashi.
I chuckled as I leaned on the counter next to my former captain.
"Soo… you switched the roles, huh?", I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.
"Hagane…!", he growled warningly; but then he smiled a small wise smile and explained quietly. "When we used to be just fuck buddies it was all about letting go. Relieving the frustration that comes with that job. Nothing more. We… we're together now. With couples… it's all about equality. Do you understand?"
I smiled slightly, if still a bit bitterly – I wasn't quite there yet, ready to give myself to Izumo, but... "Yeah. Yeah, I think I finally understand."
When I looked up he was looking at me thoughtfully, smiling like a father would. "Yeah… I think you do", he said.
The music had turned back to the recorded songs, as the DJ was currently lapful of a certain grumpy white-haired swordsman.
"But, Sui, babe…", Hidan was just saying.
The SMACK! he received on his cheek echoed even with the music background.
"Ouch! You bitch!", he yelled.
Ah. It was good to know some things never changed.
"When will ya learn that the last part of my name GETS U more of the things you want, hm?", Suigetsu asked sweetly, leaning for a kiss from the fuming cop.
A few people laughed, some shook their heads and some just continued dancing or drinking. Izumo came back next to me, leaning on me almost nonchalantly. Trying to be just as discreet I bent to whisper in his ear, "Are you okay? Do you wanna go home?"
He opened his mouth as if to say he was alright again, but then closed it and instead nodded almost shyly.
We said our goodbyes quickly and then went straight home. We took a quick shower – this time it was both needed and nice to do that together; I had to support him but it was also nice, feeling his wet and warm body next to mine. I didn't dare to get more touchy-feely because I knew where it'd lead and he was in no shape for that. So we only used our time in the shower to actually clean up.
Or at least I thought so.
When we got into the bed he suddenly was all over me, pressing his naked body to mine. At first I decided he wanted to snuggle again. But then, with a power I didn't suspect him capable of in the moment, he flipped us over till I was above him and staring down in surprise. He looked up, blushing a bit.
"You don't want to…?", he asked quietly.
I choked with outrage. "When have I ever…?!"
"Then…?"
I sighed, looking down, avoiding his gaze. "Let's just… wait some more… I mean…"
"Kotetsu…"
"Just till your wounds are properly healed…the doctors said…"
"Kotetsu."
This time his tone made me look up. He looked determined.
"I am fine."
"But… but, let's just…"
He grabbed my cock, making me hiss, and guided it slowly inside him. My eyes widened.
"Stupid! Wait… lube…!"
"Just do it slowly…"
"No, Zumo, we must…"
"Sssh… it's okay. It's okay, Tetsu… See?", he smiled slightly, still talking to me as if he were calming down a scared wild animal. "Now just breathe… Breathe with me…"
I did. He moved a bit, making my eyes close as we both moaned. He moved again, just as slowly, languidly.
"Tetsu… I need you to move with me now…Come on… slowly."
And again, I did. It was amazing. We tended to do it kind of roughly but now I saw what we'd missed. Doing it this way, slowly, had its own erotic pleasure. And I found I really liked it.
He moved just as slowly under me, but taking me deeper every time, moaning quietly. His hands scratched the skin of my nape and sometimes slid into my hair, sometimes ventured down my back, his short nails sinking into my flesh when I managed to hit his sweet spot.
"Mmmm!"
I sped up a bit, gradually, but our rhythm was still strangely slow as our climaxes built up. It had never happened to me – it had always been fast and wild, even bruising in the end. And this, now, was slowly driving me crazy. My balls tightened, my hands around him shook, my toes curled…
"Mmm…. I love you, baby… love you…", he chanted quietly, almost absentmindedly.
This was what undid me. Having that whispered in my ear, having felt that he felt that and not only said it to please me… I clenched my jaw, I didn't want to scream, not now, not when it was so perfect…
"Let go…", he breathed into my ear again.
"…Uh….Mmm…!"
"Love you…"
"Aah!"
"…Uh! Kotetsu!...", he choked out, coming between our bodies…

"That was… probably my strongest orgasm, ever."
Even now, as I recalled it, days later, it was still almost enough to get me hard. Goose bumps rose on my skin as my still confused brain tried to assimilate what had happened to it. This had been the first time I'd ever felt an orgasm both with my body and my mind, my soul… my whole being.
Bens sniffed quietly.
"Excuse me", she choked out, running into the bathroom.
I just smiled slightly.
He'd promised to make the apple pie again tonight.
The end
A.N. Prepare for the epilogue. The first sequel is ready and coming up soon as well. Love me and show that with some nice reviews ;)

Chapter 36: Epilogue

.Epilogue
Five months later…
! Third person POV !
My name is Gekko Hayate… and this is my first day at Konoha's Police Station ¹7.
I don't really know what possessed me to apply for the job of a policeman, after years of working as a personal assistant. Of course I'd graduated at the Academy, some years ago, but actually committing myself to the profession hadn't been in my "To do list" when I finally finished with my education.
I admit part of the reason I applied for the job was to prove myself. To prove that I could do it, even with my "poor health" as they put it.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the station. The first person I saw was a very tired looking woman with purple hair, dressed in the black and white ANBU gear. Well… there was no one else around…
"Um… excuse me…", I tried; she turned around with a blank look. "Can you show me the policemen's room?"
She measured me with a look of slight amusement, then just pointed the door with her thumb. I thanked her and hesitantly opened the double doors.
The room was big, stacked with desks and cupboards with various documents. The guys looked busy, but not overworked. Most of them looked friendly. I opened my mouth…
"aaaAAaaAh!"
It was definitely a moan; a long, heated sound of pure pleasure. And it had come from behind a door with a sign that said it was the "Evidence Room".
I'm sure I was blushing madly. Some of the guys in the room did too, if not so hard. Others just smirked or shook their heads and a guy with white hair muttered a quiet "Damn!"
And just then in this moment a man with long black hair with red strands in it looked at me and smiled friendly.
"Yes? Can I help you?", he asked nonchalantly as if nothing had just happened.
"I… t-the free position…"
"Oh! Hi there! Hayate, right?"
"OH, FUCK!", came from the Evidence Room along with a muffled name of what sounded like "Zumo". I blushed even harder. The guy in front of me chuckled.
"Eer… yeah. Try to not mind them. ANBUs and their way of venting", he rolled his eyes. "I'm Reiji, by the way. Suzuki Reiji."
"N-nice… to meet you", I muttered.
"Hey, people! The new guy is here!", Reiji yelled, attracting their attention.
"Oh, cool! Gay or straight?", the guy with the white hair asked.
"I-I…", I stuttered.
"That's Hidan", Reiji informed me, looking sternly at the guy. "Who has a boyfriend…."
"So? I'm just asking. And…?", he looked at me, waiting .
"Um… bi?"
Hidan leered. "That's my boy!", he cheered, lifting up his fist to hit mine. I answered the gesture, still a bit confused.
Reiji introduced me to the other men, most of whom looked nice and friendly.
Just as he finished with the introductions the door opened and a guy with shaggy black hair came out, still a bit flushed, but damn he was glowing with satisfaction. He wore an ANBU outfit and looked a bit worn (not only from sex). Judging from the moans he'd been the bottom, but he wasn't even limping and (again judging by the moans) the other guy hadn't hold back!
Most of the guys smirked when he came out, his face still a bit pink from exertion, and Hidan meowed like a cat in heat, making the guys chuckle.
"Watch it, Hidan, he may go all ANBU on ya…", Reiji smirked, winking at the guy with the spiky hair.
"Naaah… I'd say our boy's a bit too tired…", Hidan began.
"…and satisfied…", Kisame interjected.
"…to make any effort", Hidan leered.
That's when the other man came out of the closet, his straight hair messy; he was still panting a bit. Not even saying anything he just smacked Hidan hard behind the head.
"OUCH! … Tche, possessive bitch!", Hidan growled. "I wasn't checking out your man, Kamizuki, ain't no need to slap me!"
"Just in case. You're always in heat", the man said, making the guys laugh again.
"HAGANE! KAMIZUKI!"
We all turned to see the huge man, who came out from the captain' office and was obviously the enraged captain himself.
"How many times must I tell ya not to use the evidence room to let out the steam after your missions, Hagane?!"
"You mean… every time..?", I whispered. Reiji chuckled.
"Every single time after he comes back from a longer or harder mission", he said, amused.
"Kotetsu is usually on top", Hidan winked. "But sometimes they switch, though."
"And how do ya know?", Reiji smirked, making Hidan blush a little.
"Tch, the wanker gets off while listening to them", Kakuzu muttered, making Reiji and Kisame choke with laugher.
Meanwhile both the guilty boys sang a "We are sorry, Captain Namiashi" and the man went back into his office, slamming the door after him.
"Jeez, is Genma away again?", the spiky haired guy muttered.
"Yeah, a conference in Mist. Since four days ago. Three more days to go", Iruka sighed.
"Grrr, the boss would be grumpy for a week, huh? I feel sorry for ya, guys", the ANBU dressed man said.
"And how come you don't know your boss is away?", Iruka asked.
The spiky haired man shrugged. "Kakashi pretty much does all the direct commanding."
That comment made Iruka blush for some reason.
The ANBU bent to kiss the man with the straight hair on the cheek, said "See ya tonight, babe" and left, accompanied by whistles. Not bothered at all by the cat-calls, but still smiling slightly, the other man finally saw me and reached out a hand.
"Hi. I'm Izumo."
"Moaning man number one", Hidan kindly translated, earning himself another smack.
I shook Izumo's hand. Hidan, still rubbing his neck, suggested "I'd wash my hand if I were ya. Ya don't know where that hand was just now…"
That's how the third smack was landed on his poor white head; something his own partner commented coolly.
"You just don't know when to stop, huh?"
And that's how my first day at the station began. Later I was going to learn that the spiky haired guy, Kotetsu, had once been the cop whose place I was filling in. That he and Izumo loved each other so much that they were ready to literally stand in the way of bullets for each other. That Hidan might look and sound like a player, but he really loved that boyfriend of his, according to the guys – enough to finally settle down after years of one-offs. That Shikaku might still look young, but he was already a grandfather of a one-month old baby girl thanks to his son and said son's Suna girlfriend. I'd learn many things and learn to really love my job and those guys, that whole place, strange as it was. It soon became my second home, my true purpose in life and, even though I didn't know it back then – the place where I, like so many of my colleagues, met the love of my life.
My time here began with a shock, but years later the memory of that would still make me smile.

Chapter 37: SEQUELS NOTE

! SEQUELS NOTE !
To those who read and reviewed this story - THANK YOU! You may want to check out its sequels:
1. Unexpected visit - oneshot, complete
2. A new beginning - multichaptered, in progress
Once again - thank you for your support
assassi
- 2
- 3
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To live again