Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Not Just Another Fake Boyfriend Story	By : SoapMaster Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1761 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters mentioned in the story. I do not make any money off of this story.

Chapter List
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I meant to upload this last week...For some reason, it didn't post. Oh well. Here's this chapter.
Chapter Three: Not So Good in Practice
Sasuke was rolling his eyes at the phone, but it didn’t matter; Naruto couldn’t see him. The blond was currently on the other line, trying to ‘lay down the law’ and be assertive. “Before I pretend to go out with you,” he had begun the conversation, “we need to lay down some ground rule.” So far, most of this stuff was nonsense, but Naruto was getting to some actually significant things.
Sasuke sighed heavily at the blonde’s speech. The raven was sacrificing so much already by pretending to go out with the blond, he figured it couldn’t hurt to indulge in some of his more benign requests.
“Then there’s public displays of affection,” Naruto said, moving on to the next item on his list. Sasuke sat up straight. Here’s where they might have a disagreement.
“Well, we’ll have to do some to make it believable,” Sasuke told him. “You know, hug each other in the hallway, some hand touching at the lunch table…”
“Nothing more than a peck on the cheek,” Naruto said, his tone assuring Sasuke that there was no questioning these terms. It didn’t matter to him; it wasn’t like he was trying to get into Naruto’s pants. So no groping or kissing – it’s not like he would have done that without Naruto’s rules.
“Next,” Naruto said, indicating he was moving on after the agreement. “Eating lunch.”
“I’m not going to eat lunch with your…friends,” Sasuke said, resisting the temptation to call them various names. That wouldn’t really make this easier, would it? “Your friend Kiba is disgusting on a good day and revolting on a bad one, Lee is way too energetic to be near on any day, and Ino is really annoying when she gets into fangirl-mode.” Sasuke paused after the last one. That might not be true, strictly speaking, anymore. She wasn’t very obsessed with Sasuke anymore. The situation yesterday proved that.
“And I won’t sit with you guys every day,” Naruto said stubbornly. “As if dealing with you wasn’t enough, I’m sure Gaara and Neji have sticks up their asses that rival your own. To make it fair, we’ll spend one day at my table and the next at your table.”
“Sounds fair enough,” Sasuke grumbled into the phone. He wouldn’t have lunch with his friends anymore. He guessed that was just the sort of sacrifice he needed to make in order to make this work.
“And lastly,” Naruto said, almost trepidatiously, “if someone asks, I get to be the top.” He went quiet, obviously expecting Sasuke’s objection. It took Sasuke a second to understand what Naruto was saying, but when he realized, he was quick to voice his objections.
“No fucking way,” Sasuke said firmly. “There’s no way on earth that anyone would believe you could top anyone, let alone top me.”
“It’s a good thing that you’re a good actor,” Naruto said pointedly. “Your performance in school yesterday was proof enough of that. You want this to work? Then act the part of my wonderful little bottom.”
Sasuke silently cursed. Of course Naruto would bring up the fact that he could pull off some good acting when he had to. The worst part was, was that if Naruto and Sasuke really went out, Sasuke would top; but he could still probably pull off being a bottom if he tried.
Besides, did he really have a choice?
“Fine,” Sasuke growled out. “I will pretend to be your bottom,” he said, stressing the ‘pretend’ as much as possible. He could almost hear the relief in Naruto’s voice; the blond obviously expected a much larger fight.
“Alrighty, then, I’ll see you at school on Monday,” Naruto said before hanging up. Sasuke hung up as well before closing his eyes and laying back down on his bed.
Alright, so this wasn’t the perfect outcome, but it would work. It couldn’t make the situation worse.
A thought suddenly came to the Uchiha. ‘What if this is a huge mistake?’

SNSNSN
Sasuke finally made his way downstairs for some lunch, and was dismayed to find his brother and his friends already in the kitchen. This would make his entire day that much worse. He hated being around his brother, and his friends were somehow even worse.
First there was Deidara. Deidara was taller than Itachi, with blond hair, blue eyes, and a very attractive face. Deidara’s only redeeming quality, in fact, was the fact that he was incredibly hot. There were many times when Sasuke fantasized about fucking the blond and running his hands all over his body. Deidara’s biggest flaws were his lack of intelligence, and his constant need to be the loudest person in the room.
Then there was Kisame Hoshigaki. Kisame was probably the nicest of Itachi’s friends, always trying to never intrude, even though he has been a constant figure in Itachi’s life since they were in kindergarten together. When he was small, he had a disease that turned the skin on his face, hands, arms, and legs grey. The thing that Sasuke hated about Kisame was that he constantly made bad jokes, and was always trying to be too friendly. He knew just how much Sasuke hated them, but kept trying to change it.
The last person there was Nagato. Nagato was probably the most emo-looking kid that Sasuke had ever met. He was very skinny – almost unhealthily so – and had straight red hair that fell over his eyes. There was a point a few years ago when Nagato dyed his hair black, and he actually did become emo. Nagato was a very serious person who never really gave Sasuke a second thought. And Sasuke didn’t mind. He didn’t care for Nagato either.
Itachi, of course, had other friends, but none were here. Sasuke was grateful. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Hidan talking about religion or Sasori arguing with Deidara about art. The absolute worst of all his friends, however, was Kakuzu. The guy was an asshole who didn’t care about anything except for money. The only reason he was a part of the group was because his mother belonged to the same church as Hidan’s mother, and their parents always forced them to play together as children.
“Hey Sasuke!” Deidara said loudly. Itachi and Nagato briefly glanced at Sasuke, but then looked away. They didn’t really care enough to bother greeting him. Not that he cared. Kisame was the only one who actually gave a nice hello that did not break sound barriers, but Sasuke just blew it off. He used to feel somewhat bad for not giving Kisame the time of day, but by now, the older man was used to it, and shouldn’t even try anymore.
Sasuke opened the door to the fridge, but closed it again after seeing that it was nearly empty. Now he was pretty pissed off. He had already told Itachi that they needed more food, but the older raven didn’t go out and get any.
“I see we still don’t have any food,” Sasuke growled out to his brother.
“If you want something, then you can go out and get it,” Itachi said simply. “I don’t generally eat here that often.”
God, he made Sasuke so angry. He couldn’t wait for a few more months. Then he would go off to college, far away, and leave Itachi forever. There was nothing keeping him here except for the fact that Itachi had been his legal guardian for a few years, and would continue to be so until Sasuke turned eighteen in December.
He slammed the fridge shut and walked out of the room, not even paying attention to what Deidara had just called out to him.
Things between he and Itachi had been like that for a while. After their parents were killed, they were distraught, and Kakashi ended up taking them in. Well, more like they ended up taking Kakashi in, since Kakashi just moved into the mansion. But for Sasuke, life had stopped when his parents were dead. As much as Kakashi tried to pull him out, Sasuke would just be a recluse.
After a while, things got a little easier. When Sasuke started making friends, he began to open up more, and now, Kakashi was like a father to him in many ways. But Itachi would never be the brother Sasuke wanted, needed. After their parents deaths, Itachi became severely depressed and started to cut himself.
After he tried to commit suicide a few years ago, he was put in intensive therapy, and went from depressed to reclusive. He still had his friends, but he didn’t act the same when he was home. For years he just ignored Sasuke as if he was gum on the bottom of his shoes. When Itachi turned eighteen two years ago, Kakashi transferred over guardianship of Sasuke to Itachi, hoping that having to be responsible for his brother would improve things between the two of them.
It didn’t.
Sasuke was fifteen, and he suddenly had to take care of himself, because his brother sure wasn’t doing the job. Itachi commuted to school in the city, and would often stay out late. College was good for Itachi – it helped him finally recover from their parents’ deaths. But he still didn’t care about Sasuke, and so Sasuke stopped caring about him. Except Sasuke couldn’t feel the perfect, practiced apathy that Itachi felt for him. Instead, he ended up with just a deep resentment and loathing for this brother, and, by extension, his friends.
Instead of going out to eat, Sasuke decided to go back to his room. He didn’t really want to do anything today except stay up there, and his brother’s friends being there was as good an excuse as any to stay up there.
The day passed slowly, but it passed. And the next day, instead of doing nothing all day, he took $300 from Itachi’s wallet and went out to go shopping. By the end of the day, the fridge, freezer, and pantries were all full, and Itachi wasn’t speaking to Sasuke because of the money. Sasuke didn’t care.

SNSNSN
The next morning, Monday, started off pretty badly for Sasuke. He wasn’t really a morning person, so waking up this early any day was difficult for him. He tripped over his sheets when he got out of bed, and ended up hurting his head. Then, when he was in the shower, the hot water went off, which just screamed ‘Itachi.’
Despite having way more than enough money to keep up the bills, every now and then, Itachi “forgot.” Sasuke suspected that he did it on purpose to throw a wrench in Sasuke’s day, to show that he had some power of him, but he never said anything. He wouldn’t give Itachi that satisfaction.
On his way to school, he suddenly realized that he should be happy – today was the day that Operation: Fake Boyfriend would commence. No more fangirls, no more annoyances. It would be perfect! Well, except for everyone thinking he was a bottom. But who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t even come up!
When Sasuke got to the school, he stayed in his car and listened to his radio until he saw the tufts of blonde hair walking towards the building. When he finally caught sight of it, he turned the car off and got out, following his “boyfriend” into the building. He didn’t catch up to him until after the blond had entered the classroom.
By the time Sasuke got there, Naruto was talking with his friends around Kiba’s desk. Sasuke knew he had to do something to announce the relationship now, or else people would wonder later on in the day why we didn’t tell our friends first thing in the morning. Besides, Naruto wasn’t suspecting anything at the moment. It was time to show him who was in control of this relationship.
Kiba was talking animatedly as Sasuke walked up beside Naruto and gave him a peck on the cheeks. It was a shame Naruto had said that was in-bounds, because Sasuke would otherwise have never even thought to do so. Immediately, Naruto squeaked, “Sasuke!” and the rest of the room erupted in whispers. Well, except for his brunet best friend.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Uchiha?” Kiba asked. “Naruto rejected you; stop molesting him!”
“Kiba…” Naruto began, but he was cut off by his friend.
“And while you’re at it,” the Inuzuka continued, “get the fuck away from us.”
“Kiba,” Naruto repeated, this time getting Kiba’s attention. But before he could speak, Sasuke decided he should get Naruto’s goat, so to speak.
“You didn’t tell him about us yet?” Sasuke asked Naruto, looking hurt, but really savoring the situation he had put the blond in. Kiba looked from Sasuke to Naruto with a hilariously confused expression.
“I didn’t get there yet,” Naruto growled out. “Kiba, Sasuke and I are…we’re…well, we’re sort of going out.”
The reaction was instantaneous. Kiba, and Choji both shouted out a chorus of “WHAT?!” while the rest of the class erupted in whispers. Ino looked at Naruto oddly, and the blond himself closed his eyes, as if to block out the reaction from his memory.
“You told us that he was lying about you kissing him,” Choji said, a confused look on his face. “You rejected him. We all saw it.” Kiba was still in a state of stunned silence. Sasuke looked at Naruto expectantly. Now it was time to see if Naruto could pull off as great a performance as Sasuke could.
“He wasn’t lying,” Naruto told them. “The other day, I…I was confused, and I kissed him.” He closed his eyes. “I didn’t think it meant anything, but yesterday…”
“Yesterday he apologized for making a fool out of me in front of everyone,” Sasuke offered, not knowing why he decided to bail Naruto out. “The rest of the story doesn’t matter. He and I are together now, and if you really are his friends, then you won’t care about him being gay.”
“What do you mean ‘if you really are his friends’?” Kiba asked, sounding offended. “You’re an asshole, Uchiha, of course none of us care about Naruto being gay.” Choji’s expression showed that it also went for him, but Ino’s expression looked as if she was uncomfortable with this. It was probably because she knew that Naruto was faking this whole thing. “All I care about is why he would decide to date a bastard like you.”
“Kiba, he’s not a bastard,” Naruto said as the bell rang, indicating the start of class. Kurenai entered the class and told everyone to sit down, so Naruto found a seat next to Ino, behind Kiba. Sasuke took the seat between Naruto and Sakura. She kept trying to get Sasuke’s attention, but Sasuke really wasn’t going to have this conversation in the middle of English class.
Class was rather short that day, but they were paired into groups to discuss their book again. Sasuke found it kind of humorous that the ninja in the book had the same name as his “boyfriend,” but he decided not to bring it up. Naruto was probably teased enough about it when they first heard the book’s title.
“So what did you think about the chapter?” Naruto asked.
“I don’t know,” Sasuke commented. “I was really looking forward to seeing Naruto’s rival – I forget his name – fighting the sand demon, but then the Sand and Sound villages had to attack and ruin it all. It was all boring after that.”
“What?” Naruto asked, completely incredulous that Sasuke didn’t like the rest. “You’re telling me that the Third Hokage’s battle with his former student was boring?”
“It wasn’t too exciting,” Sasuke said with a shrug. “I was really still focused on Naruto chasing down his rival and the sand demon.” They continued to talk about the book until the bell rang and Sasuke got up to go to physics. Unfortunately, this gave Sakura, Neji, Hinata, and Tenten the perfect opportunity to ambush him about Naruto.
The first thing Sakura did was hug Sasuke and squee at him. “You and Naruto?” she asked excitedly, and Sasuke nodded in affirmation. “How did that happen?” she asked.
“It’s a long story,” Sasuke said, hoping he wouldn’t have to invent a story for it.
“You’re an awful boyfriend, you know,” Tenten told him. “You’re supposed to be walking him to class.”
“It’s right down the hall!” Sasuke argued.
“So?” Tenten asked. “You still have two minutes before the bell rings. Don’t you want to spend as much time with him as possible?”
“I figured I’d rather talk to you guys, instead of walking with him,” Sasuke said. “Besides, he has a lot to talk about with them.”
Sasuke walked into class, followed by the others, and promptly sat down next to Gaara. He was grateful that Neji took the spot on his other side, so he wouldn’t be bothered by incessant questions. Not a second later, Anko entered the room and decided to start the lesson, so Sakura, Tenten and Hinata ended up taking the seats behind Gaara, Neji, and Sasuke.
Sasuke found physics to be pretty interesting, but he was sure he was the only one who liked learning about vectors and forces. Why people think it’s boring, Sasuke didn’t know. Maybe he was just a nerd. About halfway through the period, Gaara threw a paper ball onto Sasuke’s desk and nudged his head at it, silently telling the Uchiha to read it. He opened the note and saw what Gaara had written.
So what’s really going on between you and Naruto?
Underneath his writing, I wrote my own response: Call me after school and I’ll explain everything. For now, just go with it. Sasuke tossed the note back on the desk and resumed paying attention to the lesson.
Sasuke wouldn’t keep this a secret from Gaara, mostly because Gaara would know what was up. Besides, he’d need someone to be able to tell everything to. He learned after his parents deaths that he can’t keep everything to himself, and it worked the same with secrets as with feelings.
After physics, it was time for lunch, which presented the first problem to their plan: Naruto and Sasuke had never decided where to sit today. They both agreed to alternate tables, but where would they go the first day? Sasuke noticed Naruto had gotten lunch already and was standing with a tray, questioning the same problem. Sasuke shrugged, so Naruto put his tray down on Sasuke’s usual table – right next to Sakura, of course.
When Sasuke finally got his lunch and was back at my table, he sat himself down right between Naruto and Gaara, facing Neji. He figured it was expected of him to sit next to his “boyfriend.” That was what Neji did with Tenten, after all.
“So Naruto,” Sakura said, “when did you figure out you were gay?”
“I’m not gay,” Naruto said, a little too quickly and panicky for Sasuke’s desire. “I’m bi. And I didn’t really figure it out until the other day.”
“After the kiss?” she asked, a smirk on her face.
“Uh, yeah,” Naruto replied awkwardly. Sasuke couldn’t blame him. He was talking to his crush about kissing another guy. It was a pretty awkward situation.
“Let’s talk about something else,” Sasuke suggested, hoping to relieve Naruto from having to deal with Sakura’s nagging questions. Don’t get him wrong – she was one of Sasuke’s best friends. But she also didn’t know when to stop.
“Why?” Sakura asked. “I want to know what happened this weekend to change everything. Last I heard, Naruto was still pretending he didn’t like you.” Yeah, pretending.
“Well, it started when I went back to his house to work on his history project,” Naruto said, deciding it was his turn to save the day. As soon as he told the story, that would be what Sasuke would have to tell everyone too. He would rather come up with the story than let Sasuke do it. Besides, after they got through the initial stage of shock when everyone wants to know what happened, it would get significantly easier, the blond hoped.
“We were pretty quiet, and it was awkward,” Naruto continued. “Sasuke had to let me help with the project, but I could tell he didn’t really want to see me. It really hurt, and I started to realize that I really did like him, and I didn’t want him to be made at me. I almost kissed him again, but he stopped me and told me that if I wanted to kiss him, I’d have to tell the truth to everyone. We talked for a while after that; he helped me realize that coming out would be a good thing, and that we could be free to date openly.”
“That’s so sweet!” Sakura cooed. It was a pretty good fabrication, and Sasuke was pretty impressed. It was realistic, and just romantic enough to get people to give them the benefit of the doubt. Sasuke heard the tell-tale sound of ‘awws’ behind him, and he turned to look at his fangirl table. Now, usually, the fangirl table was made of two tables pushed together so that more people could sit, but today there were two separate tables. One had girls that were cooing and awwwing, and the other had girls who looked either depressed or angry.
“What’s going on with them?” Sasuke asked the girls at the table. They probably knew what was up – girls love to talk.
“A lot of them are angry at Naruto because they think he stole you from them,” Sakura explained to the Uchiha. “But there are a lot who are happy for you and think…well, that you two are pretty, uh, hot together.” Sakura blushed a little bit at the comment, and Sasuke was suddenly speechless.
“You’re kidding me,” Sasuke said incredulously. “I have two sects of fangirls now?”
Sakura nodded in response. “A lot of people are joining the sect of girls who think that you two are great together. It’s not just people who were your fangirls anymore, Sasuke.”
“I’m getting more fangirls?” Sasuke asked, horrified. It took all of his strength not to end the deal with Naruto right then and there.
“At least they’re not bothering you,” Hinata pointed out, and Sasuke was grateful for the bright side. It was true. Even though he was getting more fangirls, they were all respecting his space so far. No one was intruding, even the ones who were mad at Naruto.
“They’re so cute,” Sakura said of the girls at the bigger table. “They even gave you guys a cute nickname like Bradgelina and Bennifer.” Sasuke was about to ask what their nickname was, somewhat afraid to know, but Sakura told them anyway. “SasuNaru,” she told them. “It has a ring to it.”
“Why does he get top billing?” Naruto complained with a pout. “NaruSasu sounds so much better.”
“Seriously?” Sasuke asked Naruto with an unbelieving expression. “You find out that we’re a part of some sort of supercouple, and your only concern is about whose name comes first in the nickname?”
“It’s not my only concern,” Naruto said. “It’s just the top priority right now.”
“Just wait until Naruto finds out why Sasuke has top billing,” Tenten whispered to Sakura, catching the blonde’s attention.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Naruto asked with a slightly offended expression. “Why is his name first?”
“Because they’re all pretty sure that he’s the top,” Sakura said offhandedly, and Sasuke smirked in his seat. He was going to love this. He told Naruto that no one would believe he was a top, and here was the proof. “It was pretty unanimous,” she added, making Naruto even more offended.
“WHAT!?” he yelled, jumping out of his seat and pointing at the table of fangirls. “Why would Sasuke be the top? That makes no sense!” Sasuke reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down.
“Shut up, Naruto,” he growled. “Don’t make a scene.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” he said with a pout. “No one thinks you’re the bottom.”
“So you haven’t decided who’s on top yet?” Sakura asked deviously. “You might want to figure that out soon.”
“Do you mind?” Neji asked as he swallowed a bite of his lunch. “Some of us are trying to eat here, and that’s significantly harder when you start talking about Sasuke and Naruto having sex.”
Sakura and Naruto got quiet, and everyone continued to eat. Suddenly, Hinata looked up from her lunch and spoke up. “S-Sasuke, you might want to turn around.” Sasuke listened and turned around, and was incredibly surprised to see who had just entered the cafeteria. Why would he come to school?
“Sasuke,” Itachi called out with a smile on his face. That was what tipped Sasuke off. Itachi only smiled when it came to Sasuke if he was about to embarrass or humiliate him somehow, like when Naruto came over to his house the other day. Otherwise, Itachi was incredibly apathetic towards his brother. The fact that he looked happy right now was clearly a red light.
He walked over towards Sasuke’s table with that shit-eating grin on his face. “What do you want?” Sasuke asked venomously, hoping that he could avoid being humiliated in front of the whole school. What gave Itachi the right to do this? What kind of security did this school have?
“Oh, little brother,” Itachi said with that grin that made Sasuke want to scream. “You forgot you lunch at home. He gave Sasuke a paper bag, which Sasuke looked at momentarily. Written in sharpie were the words I heard about you and Naruto. Sasuke growled and put the paper bag on the table. How could Itachi find out already?
“We both know I don’t bring my lunch,” Sasuke said as Sakura began to look through the bag. He had no idea what Itachi wanted from –. He turned around and quickly snatched the bag from Sakura, whose face was red, and looked through the contents himself. “Condoms?” he asked incredulously. “Really Itachi?”
“I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends, Sasuke,” Itachi said with the fakest smile Sasuke had ever seen. His voice got slightly louder “But if you want to announce to the whole school that I had to bring you condoms, then go ahead.” Conversations started stopping around the cafeteria as people hushed to listen in. Sasuke could see Naruto’s usual table across the cafeteria staring at the table in a mix of amusement and embarrassment. Sasuke looked at the rest of his table for help, but he saw Gaara trying to contain a smirk, which pissed him off even more. It figures that the one time he shows emotion, it’s glee towards Sasuke’s predicament. Well, maybe not glee. No one should ever use the words ‘Gaara’ and ‘glee’ in the same sentence. Ever.
“You two have already started having sex?” Sakura exclaimed all-too-loudly for Sasuke’s liking. Leave it to her to fall right into Itachi’s trap.
“No,” Sasuke and Naruto insisted at the same time. In response, Gaara reached out and grabbed the bag.
“No point in letting these go to waste,” he said, starting to put the paper bag in his backpack. Sasuke almost facepalmed. He was surrounded by idiots, assholes, and freaks. And why the hell was Gaara taking condoms? It’s not like he would use them.
“Oh Sasuke,” Itachi said with a smirk. “I could almost believe you if I didn’t hear all those sounds last night.” Speaking of sounds, with the exception of Itachi’s voice, the cafeteria was quiet enough to hear a pin drop, and every single person could hear Itachi’s every word. “Even I’ve never been able to go six rounds in a row.”
Squeals could be heard from the SasuNaru fangirls, while growls and cries could be heard from the anti-Naruto fangirls. A lot of guys around the room started coughing disgustedly, and if you listened really closely, you could hear some chuckling under the breath of one giant asshole who was standing right in front of Sasuke. His only consolation was that he was not alone in his humiliation; Naruto was just as horrified, maybe even moreso.
“You better learn to sleep with one eye open,” Sasuke threatened.
“I probably won’t be able to go to sleep, anyway,” Itachi said with a shrug. “Not with you and Naruto two rooms away. It’s surprising how loud I can hear you two when the walls are so thick.” Sasuke was starting to physically shake from anger, and he honestly considered punching his brother right now. Could he be suspended for that?
“Oh, Sasuke,” Itachi moaned, pretending to imitate Naruto, or at least how Naruto would have sounded if he and Sasuke did fuck six times last night. “Yeah, you’re so tight.” It took him a moment to understand what his brother was implying, but when the realization hit, his jaw dropped.
He just implied that Sasuke was bottom. And he couldn’t object without breaking his rules with Naruto. The trembling with anger returned, and Sasuke was about to tackle Itachi to the ground, he felt a hand touch his own and looked over at Naruto, who had a serious expression on his face. Somehow, the small action seemed to calm Sasuke slightly, but he still couldn’t figure out how to escape this situation.
Thank god the bell rang, because Sasuke couldn’t handle any more of this. Itachi gave him a taunting smirk, so Sasuke just grabbed his backpack, stood up, and pushed past Itachi, shoving him out of the way. As soon as Sasuke was out of the cafeteria, Naruto got up to chase him, and the rest of the student body decided the fun was over and they should move on to their next class.
Sasuke didn’t really care anymore at this point. He decided he was going to blow off the rest of the period, and maybe even the period after that. He just needed something to calm him down. He passed the security guard, who called out to him, but Sasuke didn’t listen. He knew he’d probably end up with a detention for skipping, but he couldn’t care less.
He heard Naruto shouting after him, and briefly wondered why Naruto would follow him out like that. Naruto should have gone ahead to class. Sasuke kept walking though, he wasn’t ready to turn around and face him. But Naruto was persistent, and before they were two blocks away from the school, Naruto had caught up to him.
“What do you want?” Sasuke asked angrily, trying to keep himself from completely falling apart. He can’t believe he was so humiliated!
“What the fuck just happened back there?” Naruto asked.
“Itachi happened,” Sasuke told him, not looking at him. “You saw how he was when you came over to the mansion. He made comments to you for the sole purpose of embarrassing me. This was no different. It was just…harsher than usual.” He looked over at the blond again. “You should go back to class.”
“So should you,” Naruto stated.
“I’m not going back to class,” Sasuke said simply. “I think I’m going to my uncle’s bar. I need a drink after all the shit that just went down.”
“Then I’m coming with you,” Naruto decided. “I don’t have a fake, but you can get me something.”
“Why?” Sasuke asked suspiciously. “Why do you want to come with me?”
“It was just as embarrassing for me,” Naruto said, matter-of-factly. “Besides, I can’t let you drink alone. You’d look too pathetic.” Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned around, but Naruto followed him. Instead of continuing down the street, they turned around and got Sasuke’s car from the parking lot before heading into the city.
Mangekyo was an old bar that had been around since before Prohibition. After his family moved to the US, Sasuke’s father bought the bar. When he and his mother decided to settle down, they decided to sell it to Sasuke’s uncle Madara. Madara looked exactly the same as his brother Fugaku, just slightly older. Their personalities, however, couldn’t be more far apart.
Madara wasn’t there that day. Instead, the bar was being overseen and tended to by Danzo, one of Madara’s best workers. Danzo was older than dirt, but he did a good job, so it didn’t really matter much. He’d been with the bar since Sasuke’s parents owned it.
“Hello there, Sasuke,” Danzo said when he saw the raven enter with Naruto. “Who’s your friend?”
“No one important, Danzo,” Sasuke replied, earning a ‘hey!’ from Naruto that both Sasuke and Danzo ignored. “I’ll have my usual.” Danzo’s face suddenly darkened.
“Sasuke, you know I can’t do that,” the old man said.
“I know my uncle’s not here,” Sasuke said, sitting down on a bar stood. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, don’t you think he’d rather I drink under the safe watch of his most trusted worker than at some dive bar where nobody could watch over me?” Sasuke knew exactly how to manipulate this old man, and it worked like a charm. He didn’t like it, but he ended up giving Sasuke a gin and tonic.
“Can I get something fruity?” Naruto asked Danzo, and the bartender obliged. Sasuke rolled his eyes as a pink drink with an orange umbrella was placed in front of the blond. “He doesn’t even care that we’re not twenty-one?” Naruto asked Sasuke as he drank his drink.
“You’re with me,” Sasuke said simply. “Besides, they’re not too strict. My Uncle Madara has ways to keep the police from busting them as long as he doesn’t make a reputation as the place for underage drinking.”
“Why did Danzo not want to serve you?” Naruto asked the raven, to which Sasuke shrugged.
“I had a small problem a few years ago with alcohol,” he explained simply. “Kakashi and Uncle Madara agreed that I can’t be allowed to drink anymore, so they cut me off. But that was a while ago. I’m not so bad now.”
Sasuke lied.
After about an hour and a half of drinking and talking, Naruto had just finished his second drink, while Sasuke was finishing his eighth. Naruto found casual drinking to be okay, but Sasuke was just being ridiculous. No one could argue that Sasuke wasn’t drunk off his face. Of course, Naruto didn’t particularly mind drunk Sasuke. He was a lot more fun and loose. Maybe he could even glean a secret out of him if he tried. Which girl he liked, or something else ridiculously embarrassing.
Not that Naruto wanted to embarrass him after today; but if he had some leverage over the Uchiha, it would make life easier. After the way Sasuke manipulated him into pretending to be his boyfriend, he had to admit that the Uchiha was devious. In fact, he could almost call Itachi’s surprise at lunch just desserts.
“So what happened next?” Naruto asked the drunk raven. “Gaara just went home?”
“Nope,” Sasuke said with a slur. “Nah, Gaara…he decided to go to a different party and make out with that bitch’s boyfriend.” Sasuke started hysterically laughing at the tale, and even Naruto could admit it was a little funny. But still…
“Gaara’s gay?” Naruto asked.
“Duh,” Sasuke slurred, not realizing he just outed his best friend. “He likes to joke around about it a lot though. The party story, not the gay thing. He takes that seriously.”
“Wouldn’t you?” Naruto asked with a chuckle. Sasuke snorted in response and simply said, “no.” Naruto called over Danzo “Maybe we should cut him off. I’m not looking forward to driving him home.” Danzo nodded, but Sasuke got offended.
“Hey, what’s the big idea, dickhole?” Sasuke asked. “I’m not drunk.”
“Sure you’re not,” Naruto said with as much sarcasm in his voice as he could muster.
“I’m not,” Sasuke insisted, standing up. “Look, I’mma walk a straight line and show you.” Sasuke slowly tried to walk a straight line behind their bar stools, but tripped right as Naruto turned around to watch. Sasuke ended up falling on top of Naruto, between his legs. Naruto was too startled to move, but Sasuke lifted his head, looking into Naruto’s eyes.
He never really noticed his eyes before. They were a deep blue, somewhat like Deidara’s, but not as dark. His hair was similar too. It might not be as long, but it was certainly the same color. Without a thought in his head, Sasuke raised his hand to run through Naruto’s hair. It felt like sunshine. “You look like Deidara,” Sasuke explained before pressing his lips to the blonde’s.
Naruto froze when he felt Sasuke’s lips against his. His first instinct was to push away, but he momentarily wondered what Sasuke meant by ‘You look like Deidara.’ Who was Deidara? Was he talking about that guy who was a senior when they were freshmen? That was the only Deidara he’d ever met.
Sasuke opened his mouth and swiped his tongue against Naruto’s closed lips, asking for entrance. This was probably what made Naruto realized that they were kissing in the middle of a bar, and pulled away quickly. He stood up, accidentally dropping Sasuke to the ground, and ran out of the bar. When Sasuke got up, he looked out the door and then back at the remainder of his drink.
Danzo told Sasuke he was going to call someone to take him home, and Sasuke told him to call Gaara, giving him his phone. He didn’t want Itachi or Kakashi to see him like this. After a bit, he got up and walked to the bathroom, hoping to splash his face with water to sober him up, even just a little bit.
When he looked up at the mirror, he saw a man behind him, giving him a glare. He was muscular and tall, with reddish-brown hair and red eyes that looked to be more slits than circles. He had an evil aura about him, and he creeped Sasuke out.
“Who was that boy you kissed?” he asked, his voice about as rough and sratchy as Sasuke would suspect. In his drunken state, Sasuke scoffed, not understanding the danger of his situation.
“That’s nunya business, mister,” Sasuke said with an attempted glare in his voice.
“I asked you a question,” the man said, slowly approaching Sasuke.
“Do you know who I am?” Sasuke asked loudly. “My uncle owns this bar, and I’ll have you kicked out. So stop being so…mean.” The intimidating man got closer, but the door to the bathroom opened and Gaara stepped in, causing the man to back off.
“What’s going on here?” Gaara asked.
“Gaara!” Sasuke exclaimed. He pointed towards the big guy. “This guy’s been mean to me. Make him cry. Do your evil glare.” Gaara rolled his eyes. When Sasuke was drunk, he was probably louder and more obnoxious than Sakura.
“Where did Naruto go?” Gaara asked Sasuke, moving to support the teen as they walked out.
“He ditched me after I kissed him,” Sasuke said with a scoff as they left the bathroom. “Some boyfriend he is.” The door slammed shut behind them, and Gaara led Sasuke out to his car. They would come and pick up Sasuke’s some other time. Until then, he had to get Sasuke back to the school and to Kakashi without Principal Tsunade seeing him.
Luckily, they made it back to school before Kakashi’s class, and Gaara managed to sneak Sasuke in past the security guard. He walked Sasuke up the stairs to where Kakashi’s office was located. Kakashi was somewhat shocked to see the raven in such a state, but helped Gaara bring him to the psychology classroom.
“I’ll just post a note saying that class is canceled today,” Kakashi said, getting a pen and a piece of paper from the teacher’s desk.
“I don’t get why you’re all makin’ such a big deal about this,” Sasuke said, barely even trying not to slur anymore. “I’m perf’ctly fine guys.”
“You’re not perfectly fine, Sasuke,” Kakashi said, taping the note to the door. “You’re gonna tell me why you did this, and you’re going to tell me now.”
“Make. Me.” Sasuke said, sounding like a petulant four-year-old. Gaara rolled his eyes and decided to fill Kakashi in on Itachi’s antics regarding Sasuke and Naruto, going on to explain that Sasuke and Naruto are together.
Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright, you say Naruto and Sasuke are together?” he asked. “Great. Go get Naruto. Tell him he still has class today. His job is to drive Sasuke back to the mansion and get him into bed. Then he’s to come straight back here for the next period.”
“There’s a problem,” Gaara said. “Apparently Naruto and Sasuke got into some sort of tiff at the bar. Knowing Sasuke, he probably did something incredibly stupid.” Kakashi sighed. “I’ll go get him anyway, and I’ll explain everything to him.”
“Thank you,” Kakashi said, hoping that Gaara could convince Naruto to do this for him. His prayers were answered. Twenty minutes later – right before the bell to the next class rang – Gaara returned with Naruto in tow.
“I’ll take him home,” Naruto said awkwardly, eyeing the now unconscious Uchiha sitting at a chair.
Naruto had only been at the Uchiha mansion once before, so he was amazed that he was able to remember how to get there. He got basic directions from Kakashi and Gaara as they helped sneak Sasuke out into the parking lot, and managed to get there without issue. His bigger problem was getting Sasuke into the mansion while avoiding Itachi.
“Sasuke,” Naruto urged, shaking the Uchiha to wake him up. He lightly slapped Sasuke’s cheeks before he reached in the back seat to grab a half-empty bottle of water. He uncapped it and poured the water down Sasuke’s head. The reaction wasn’t instantaneous, but it was there. Sasuke groggily woke up. “Sasuke, we’re home. Mr. Hatake wants me to put you into bed for him.”
“Naruto?” Sasuke asked, not really sure what was going on.
“I’m gonna unbuckle your seat and then come around to open your door, okay?” Naruto asked, doing as he told Sasuke he would. After he opened up the passenger side door, he helped Sasuke out, and caught him when he stumbled. “Let’s get you upstairs, alright?” He supported Sasuke as he stood up and walked towards the mansion and walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Luckily, they were able to avoid Itachi.
Naruto helped Sasuke take off his now-wet shirt and get into bed. He was just about to leave the Uchiha alone when Sasuke called out.
“Why did you do that for me?” Sasuke asked, still drunk off his ass. “I d’dn’t ask you f’r help.”
“You told me you had a problem with alcohol, and I let you drink way past your limit,” Naruto explained. “When Gaara told me you were barely standing on your own, I felt guilty, so I told him I’d help. Now I have to get back to class.”
“There’s only one class left,” Sasuke said, looking at the clock. “Stay with me.” Naruto considered leaving, but decided that it wouldn’t hurt to miss class. He didn’t really need to deal with Jiraya’s health class. As much as he loved the guy – he was practically his godfather – he couldn’t handle how perverse he could be. Instead, he sat down on the foot of the bed.
“’m sorry f’r kissin’ you,” Sasuke mumbled, turning over in the bed so he was facing the blond. “I sh’dn’t h’ve done that.”
“Why did you, then?” Naruto asked, wondering if Sasuke would even remember this conversation the next day.
“Dunno,” Sasuke admitted, trying to stay awake to talk to the blond.
“Sasuke, are you…” Naruto began, but he trailed off. Would it be crossing a line to ask the question? Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at him expectantly. “Y’know…gay?”
Sasuke’s face broke out into a smirk. “Why, Nar’to? D’ya wanna fuck me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Naruto couldn’t tell whether to be horrified or amused.
“Are you?” he asked, and Sasuke rolled his eyes.
“No, I jus’ like ta kiss guys,” Sasuke said in a happy tone of voice. “But ‘m not gay.” Naruto furrowed his brows. Was Sasuke trying to make a joke? Be sarcastic? “Of course I am.” Sasuke looked like he was going to continue talking, but he fell asleep instead. And Naruto was relieved. He didn’t want to have to deal with this right now. Instead, he hightailed it out of the Uchiha mansion.

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Not Just Another Fake Boyfriend Story