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Criminal	By : laurenloogie Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1432 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-massacre
- 2-ruthless
- 3-tsukiyomi
- 4-obvious
- 5-barracks
- 6-bind
- 7-luck
- 8-heat
- 9-break
- 10-grief
- 11-thin
- 12-creep
- 13-switch
- 14-rant
- 15-battles
- 16-capture
- 17-undisclosed
- 18-drugs
- 19-snake
- 20-infiltration
- 21-color
- 22-escape
- 23-used
- 24-possession
- 25-cold
- 26-trap
- 2
- 3
- 4
*WARNING* Some really violent torture in here... If you don't think you can handle it, don't read it.

It took Deidara a long time to accept the fact that he was waking up. It was light out and the sun was hurting his eyes... no matter how hard he tried to shield his face, the rays kept slipping through, burning his corneas. It was inevitably daytime and the sun couldn't care less about his hangover. Finally, he opened his eyes just a little, squinting blurrily, and a raw headache immediately seared through his temples. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so shitty.
Cursing, he rose to a sitting position, then cradled his head in his hands. His mouth was dry, his eyes felt puffy and bloodshot, and it was hurting his brain even trying to remember how the fuck he had done this to himself.
"Morning, brat." Deidara slowly turned his throbbing head to find Kisame sitting on a boulder, grinning crookedly as he cleaned Samehada's spines with a rag. "How's your ass?" the swordsman sneered.
"Huh?" he murmured. And then it all came back to him at once, starting with him uncorking the sake and ending with Kisame's huge cock crammed in his ass. He looked down at himself and sure enough, he was naked and splattered with blood. His body looked like a crimescene. Too hungover to even scowl, he just looked blandly back over at the swordsman, whose sharky grin was practically splitting his face in two. The bastard didn't look hungover at all - in fact, he looked smugger than Deidara had ever seen him. Even the damned sword looked smug, laying docilly over its master's lap, wagging its tail of a hilt a few times as if to say 'morning, bitch' in its own, silent way.
He tried to think of something to say but only managed to sigh. He needed water before talking shit was even an option. Eyes squinting in pain, he crawled over to a dip in the bank and hung his head over the edge, dunking his face unceremoniously into the river to drink. Luckily the water here wasn't stagnant... if it had tasted bad at all he most certainly would have thrown up. Once his thirst was sated, he shakily raised himself back up and flopped back onto the moss, halfheartedly covering his dick with one hand. Kisame's already seen me naked, he passively told himself. He looked back over at the swordsman, who had momentarily returned his attentions to Samehada's spines, and went through the night's events again in his head. At first, everything had gone fine - romantic, even. He recalled that Kisame had been an incredibly good kisser. But then he had simply panicked... and the rest was just a violent, horny blur, laced with fear and gut-wrenching pain. He vaguely remembered cumming, and from what he could recall, he'd never came so hard in his life. What the fuck is wrong with me? he wondered. The question hurt his head, even though he already knew the answer. Because as much as it pained him to admit it, he had wanted it to be violent. Wanting or expecting anything less from a man like Kisame was just... contradictory.
"You gonna wash off?" Deidara's attention snapped back to the swordman, who was looking at him again and smirking. "Because," Kisame continued, "we need to get going... it's almost noon."
"Ugh, seriously?" the blonde groaned. No wonder the sun had been bugging him. "Why didn't you just wake me up?"
Kisame shrugged, nitpicking at one of Samehada's spines. "I tried earlier," he said, "but you didn't seem too happy about it. So finally I just got bored and threw pebbles at you until you came to."
"You did?" Deidara mumbled. He looked over at the the indent in the moss where he had been sleeping, searching for evidence, and sure enough there were a few stones scattered about. Apparently the swordsman's definition of the word 'pebble' differed from his own, because the stones all appeared large enough to leave sizeable bruises if thrown with enough meaning. Then again, he had no memory of it whatsoever. He shot Kisame a glare but the swordsman's attentions had returned yet again to Samehada, leaving the blonde feeling petty and irritable.
"Where are my clothes?" he snapped accusingly. Kisame had probably hid them or shredded them to bits...
"Right there," Kisame muttered, cutting off his thoughts. Without looking up, the swordsman pointed at a boulder a few yards upstream. "It was getting late so I washed them," he added apathetically. Lo and behold, the blonde's clothes were drying on the boulder's face.
"Damnit," Deidara growled under his breath. Kisame seemed to know exactly how to get under his skin... everything the swordsman was doing was making him feel even more wretched. "Well... where's my clay?" he huffed. The only response he got was another half-hearted shrug in the same direction. The blonde cursed, painfully embarassed, when he noticed that the pouches were sitting at the base of the boulder.
"Oh, man..." he sighed, wincing and rubbing his temples. "Kisame, you seriously gotta leave me alone for a minute." Just restraining his anger was worsening his headache. He glanced over to find the swordsman obediently rising to his feet, a smirk threatening to play across his lips. "Go away," the blonde vehemently hissed. Kisame merely chuckled, hoisting Samehada easily over his shoulder, and Deidara couldn't help but notice how the man's muscles flexed lithely as he moved.
"I'll be waiting for you upstream," the swordsman stated meekly. But as he turned around, he grinned slyly and ran his tongue over his sharp teeth. Before Deidara could spit out a response, the bastard had already disappeared into the thick foliage, his slate blue skin blending elusively with the shadows.
The blonde sighed again, unsure of whether he was turned on, pissed off or both. Kisame was definitely the most lethally attractive man he'd ever laid his eyes on... but he was such a prick. He cursed under his breath, forcing himself to remember that everyone pissed him off when he was hungover. Well... the bastard had pinned him down, backhanded him, and fucked his brains out mere hours earlier... ...
When he finally cleared his muddled mind, he took his time bathing in the river. He went over his various aches and pains one by one, as if cataloguing them. Here was the bite mark on his neck, scabbed over with blood.. there was a half-healed puncture from Samehada's spines... His jaw hurt the worst - it throbbed dully with his migraine and felt swollen to the touch - but his ass was a close second. Maybe if he had just relaxed like Kisame had kept telling him to do it wouldn't be hurting as bad... but he had a feeling that there simply was no way to take a ten-inch cock somewhere it wasn't intended to go without feeling the reprecussions. Plus, the swordsman hadn't even known...
Reluctantly, he climbed out of the river and got dressed, his muscles stiff in places they had never been stiff before as he wriggled uncomfortably into the damp clothing. His long hair seemed to have merged into one giant knot... he fussed with it for a good ten minutes before finally relenting and putting it up, deciding that neither the swordsman nor the animals in the forest were going to give a shit if there were a few tangles. When he was ready to go, he gave the area one last look, feeling oddly sentimental, before leaving it behind.
He found Kisame sitting on a fallen log about a quarter mile upstream, picking his nails and chewing on what looked like a wild leek. He had rewrapped Samehada and strapped it to his back, disguising it once again as just a blade. When he saw the blonde approach he lethargically rose to his feet, drowsy with boredom.
"Damn... what the hell took you so long?" he muttered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
Deidara merely shrugged, sure the swordsman didn't actually care what the reason was. He licked his finger and tested the wind... it was blowing in their favor. "Let's fly back," he stated. "If the wind stays like this, it'll only be about a half-day's journey."
Kisame eyed the blonde passively. "You sure you have enough chakra?" he asked.
Deidara shrugged again, mildly irritated. "I'm not walking," he said firmly. He narrowed his eyes as if to say, don't you dare ask me why. Just walking this quarter mile had hurt...
A grin slid over Kisame's lips. "Fine," he said. He spit the leek out of his mouth then looked up at the sky, contemplating. Deidara found himself staring dumbly at the man's sharp profile as his hand bit into his clay, wondering briefly if anyone else found Kisame as attractive as he did. His obsession with the swordsman's picture in his bingo book had gotten him little more than weird stares back in Iwagakure. No one had understood... but the blonde had a feeling that most of the confusion revolved around the fact that his obsession was for another man.
Kisame finally looked down from the sky, his gaze sliding over the blonde. "You hungry?" he asked. "There's a teahouse a few miles east of here, if I'm correct."
Deidara blinked, confused. Since he had joined the Akatsuki, he hadn't even been inside a dining establishment. Sasori didn't eat, so the blonde had been putting up with food pills and his own sub-par cooking for what felt like ages.
"Come on," the swordsman prodded. "I feel... a little bad about last night. Let me buy you lunch." He glanced down at his own stomach, seemingly unsatisfied with his washboard abs. "Plus, I'm starving," he admitted with a sheepish grin.
Deidara found himself blushing as he molded the clay in his hand into two birds. "Um," he stammered, flinging them onto the ground and expanding them with a handsign. "Are you asking me out on a date or something?"
Kisame laughed genuinely. "No, I'm hungry, that's all," he chuckled. "But if you want to call it a date, I guess I wouldn't be opposed." He looked at the birds and narrowed his eyes. "And... you were totally screwing with me about the 'flying lessons' yesterday, weren't you?"
Deidara grinned crookedly. "Let's go," he said, avoiding the obvious answer. "I'm... insanely hungry."
* * *
The teahouse was little more than a shack, nestled in the middle of nowhere. But apparently it was one of the few places that served Akatsuki - the middle-aged couple that ran the place were too out of the loop to be aware of the organization. They didn't even seem to mind that Kisame strolled in without a shirt on. Then again, who would want to ask a towering, sharky blue guy with a giant sword to leave? There were a few other people eating - downtrodden farmers by their appearance - and absolutely no one dared to look either shinobi in the eye.
Deidara was starving - he inhaled two bowls of the house special, which was rice, vegetables, and some kind of fish, then drank a sizeable amount of both tea and sake before he was sated. Kisame watched him in awe, eating with an incongruously dainty reserve. When they were both done, there were way more bowls on Deidara's side of the table.
"Well, I feel better," the blonde said, grinning. He slapped his hand loudly on the table as he rose, drawing the attention of every scared diner in the room. "Now pay up, my man," he sneered. Kisame snorted and pulled out a wad of cash which he barely flipped through before tossing it on the table. When they left, the owners just bowed their heads, too timid to speak.
* * *
"Wow, Deidara," Kisame muttered. "You are so romantic." They had agreed to walk for a bit, mostly because the food and sake had given Deidara an insane amount of energy - his hangover had vanished and he was having a hard time restraining himself from running circles around the swordsman. Even his ass had stopped hurting, which was a relief... he'd been afraid Kisame had ripped something internally.
"Hey, I told you I was starving, hmm?" he chirped. "And that sake really did the trick. Nothing kills a hangover like more booze, heheh."
Kisame rolled his eyes. "Yah, until it comes back ten-fold," he said dryly. "It's a never-ending cycle and you'll wind up being a lush."
Deidara snorted. "You seem to have forgotten my partner's Sasori," he said. "I probably won't see a single drop until I get another mission with you." He paused, soured by the thought. "You know, you're acting rather bitter, Kisame," he sulked. "Maybe you should have had some sake, too."
The swordsman mumbled a curse under his breath, his gait rigid. "We'll be back at the hideout by nightfall," he muttered, "and I don't drink around Itachi. At all."
"Why not?" Deidara asked, automatically riled by the thought of Itachi. He still hadn't gotten over their fight that had forced him into joining the Akatsuki, and supposed that he never would.
"I just don't," Kisame growled, anger seething in his voice. "Can we drop this?"
Deidara thought about it for a second. "No," he finally stated. "Come on, tell me." He gave the swordsman's arm a little shove and was shocked to find goosebumps raised up on the blue skin. What the hell?! he wondered, deeply disturbed by the idea that something could give the infamous tail-less biju a chill.
Kisame shot the blonde a black glare, his eyes narrowed, and Deidara suddenly realized he might have pushed the swordsman too far. But instead of lashing out, the taller man merely cursed under his breath again before looking away. "Look," he muttered. "I've never told anyone about this. So if I tell you, you have to promise to keep your mouth shut." He looked back at the blonde and in his glare was true intent to kill. "Do you understand?" he growled.
"Yeah," Deidara said. "I promise I won't tell a soul." It was obvious in Kisame's murderous eyes what would happen if he ever broke the promise.
"Alright," the swordsman relented, looking away again. Deidara sighed shakily, realizing that he had been afraid. It occured to him just then that maybe Kisame had been going easy on him during their fight yesterday.
"So Deidara," the swordsman said, his face now expressionless as he walked. "Has anyone told you about the Uchiha clan's Tsukiyomi?" Deidara just shook his head. "Well then," Kisame continued, "this story will explain it... because years back, I experienced it firsthand..."
* * *
When Kisame and Itachi first became partners, the swordsman was a lot... wilder. He drank frequently, fucked a lot, and was generally just more of a dick. His experiences in Kirigakure had left him quite a wreck, so he often drowned out the trauma with earthly pleasures. To say he was a hedonist would be an exaggeration, but he didn't skimp on partying when the opportunity arose. Itachi tolerated the behavior with a detached yet thin patience, the same way a babysitter tolerated a whiny kid. The Uchiha would protest mildly every time they passed a bar but would end up letting Kisame drag him in, demurely sipping tea in a far corner while the swordsman slammed sake and debauched.
After a few months together, Itachi's passive attitude began to rile Kisame almost as much as his unwillingness to have even a sip of alcohol. They were partners, for crying out loud... it would be nice if just once the stoic bastard would indulge in some sake and show a little humanity. And he had a feeling that Itachi wished just as dearly that Kisame would quit with the partying, although it was nearly impossible to tell what the emotionless man was ever thinking. Either way, they were getting sick of eachother... that much was glaringly obvious.
The conflict finally rose to a head one night in the Land of Wind. They had been stuck with a monotonous, patience-thinning spying mission for the last week, sweating their asses off during the day and freezing at night in the harsh desert until they were both so irritated they could barely stand the sight of eachother. Kisame had been painfully sober the entire time and his thirst for booze had festered into a gnawing, maddening ache. He had also made it his own personal mission to annoy the shit out of Itachi, hoping the younger man would just snap so they could fight and get it over with. At the very least, he wanted the bastard to suffer as much as possible.
So when they passed by a small town with a bar on their way back to the hideout, the argument was inevitable.
"Itachi... you will have to physically stop me from going in here," he growled, glaring furiously at the younger man. They were outside the bar's door and Itachi had grabbed the sleeve of Kisame's jacket in one last attempt to get him to pass it up. The two glared at eachother for a moment before Itachi finally sighed and released his hold.
"Just one drink," his partner called after him as he stormed inside. Kisame scowled over his shoulder and stuck out his middle finger, letting Itachi glare at it as the door slammed between them.
Three hours and way more than one drink later, the tension between them was so high it was making other people uncomfortable. In fact, almost everyone had left, leaving only the two shinobi, a girl so shitfaced she was too busy grabbing at the swordsman's crotch to understand the danger, and an extremely nervous bartender.
"Can I, like... touch your sword?" the girl slurred, swaying on her barstool, her shirt exposing so much cleavage Kisame could almost see her nipples.
"Which one?" he sneered, grinning.
"I dunno..." Her attempts at flirtation were so drunken she was just repeating herself at this point. But Kisame tolerated it, partly because he wanted to get laid, mostly because Itachi was glaring at him a few feet away with his arms crossed. The younger man's seemingly limitless patience had almost reached its limit and the swordman was just waiting for him to snap.
"Are you really, like... blue?!"
"Heh... you wanna see?"
"Kisame, let's go." Itachi's fingers were digging into his arms, betraying his anger. The situation was awkward, to say the least... on any other night, Kisame probably would have relented, but tonight he was just itching to push Itachi over the edge. Finally the younger man grabbed the swordsman's arm, his grip like a vice. "Let's go," he repeated.
Kisame grinned fiercely, baring his teeth. "Fine," he growled, rising from his barstool so fast the girl lost her balance and nearly crashed to the floor. "Let's fuckin' go." He grabbed Itachi by the collar of his coat and roughly shoved him against a wall, adrenaline pumping. "I'm sick of you harping on me," he hissed. "What are you, my wife?" For a minute they just glared at eachother, seething.
Determined to make an ass out of herself, the girl stumbled up to where they were facing off. "You guys gonna, like, screw eachother or what?" she slurred. "Let's have a threesome.."
The expression on Itachi's face flickered - just barely - and a split second later the girl was sprawled out on the floor, paralyzed by his sharingan. Kisame couldn't really care less about the bitch... she had been annoying him anyway... but what had that expression been on Itachi's face? Rage? Or even more bizarrely, jealousy?
He should have just left it alone. But... he didn't, of course.
"Yah, we gonna screw eachother or what?" he sneered. "Is that why you're such a bitch, Itachi? You want me all to yourself?" He grinned hotly and pressed his body up against the younger man's. "You look kinda like a chick," he growled. "I could probably fuck you."
Finally, Itachi's calm broke. His passive expression melted away to a furious snarl and a hot blush bloomed over his cheeks. "Get the fuck off me, Kisame," he hissed.
"Heheh... you're pretty when you're mad," Kisame teased, gloating that he'd finally broken the younger man's passive mask. "Come on, let's go fuck." And then he realized that Itachi's eyes were... changing.
Had he been sober, he probably would have avoided it. But he wasn't... he was shitfaced. The Tsukiyomi hit him before he could even react and he suddenly found himself trapped in a hellish dreamscape, hands and feet nailed to a cross. He realized quickly that this was no ordinary genjutsu. For one, he couldn't escape it - Samehada would have noticed by now and disrupted his chakra. And second, pain hurt a lot worse. It felt real.
Itachi appeared before him holding a katana. His partner's face was stoic again, and it remained that way throughout the entire illusion - stoic as he stabbed Kisame repeatedly in the gut, stoic as he burned him alive, and even stoic when he pulled out the swordsman's cock and cut it clean off.
And then he just left Kisame there, dickless and screaming bloody murder, for what seemed like a week. In that time, the swordsman felt his mind leave him until there was nothing left but pain... he became positive that somewhere along the line the genjutsu had ended and he had actually gone to hell. It was agony like nothing he ever could have imagined.
By the time the illusion had ended - mere seconds in reality - he was so frothing mad that he was bedridden for two weeks, unable to do anything but scream in sheer terror and writhe around, sweating feverishly. Itachi had somehow dragged him to a hotel room... his partner tried to care for him, bringing him food and water, but eventually gave up - the swordsman kept knocking the tray out of the younger man's hands and going straight for his throat, sometimes with his teeth.
Once he had recovered enough to think coherent thoughts, he had lost close to twenty pounds and was so weak he couldn't even walk. But the mental damage had been more severe... even after he could stand the sight of Itachi again without wanting to murder him, he found himself unable to drink booze or think about sex around his partner. It was like he had been castrated.
This had all happened several years ago... time had since worn away at the memory, smoothing it down to something bearable, but the thought of it still ran a chill down his spine.
* * *
"Damn, Kisame... that's unforgivable!" Deidara wasn't sure which he was feeling more - disgust, fury, or empathy. "How on earth are you able to tolerate being around that bastard?!"
Kisame sighed, gazing wearily at the ground as he walked. He looked exhausted. "It was a long time ago," he said. "A lot has happened since then."
"But," the blonde stammered, his eyes wide, "you didn't even do anything to deserve it!"
The swordsman shrugged. "It was a long time ago," he bluntly repeated. It was obvious he'd said all he was willing to say about it.
"Still," Deidara muttered. A million questions buzzed in his head but he held his tongue. He looked up at the swordsman's face, briefly trying to imagine what it would look like crazed and emaciated, but no picture would form in his mind. Kisame was just so... solid. It seemed almost ludicrous that someone so strong could have been through such a harrowing experience. But, he supposed, a weaker man never would have recovered at all. He reached up and put his hand on Kisame's shoulder, gently urging him to stop walking. The swordsman stopped listlessly in his tracks, shooting the blonde a bland look.
"You look tired," Deidara said, kneading the taller man's shoulder. "Let's sit down for a minute... we can fly the rest of the way."
Kisame shrugged passively. "Alright," he sighed. They took a seat at the base of a tree and for a minute neither man said anything... the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind was soothing after the brutal recount.
"Hey," Deidara said softly, letting his hand wander over to the swordsman's thigh. The muscles were so tense they felt carved out of stone.
"Yah?" murmured Kisame.
"I'm happy you're alright."
The kiss happened without words, their lips meeting gently. Deidara lightly ran his hand over the swordsman's thigh as they slowly explored eachothers mouths, and he could feel Kisame's muscles beginning to relax. The blonde groaned softly and repeated the words in his mind, captivated by them.
...I'm happy...

*AUTHOR'S NOTE* Ugh... I had the day off from work and wrote this chapter all in one day. Took forever.... I've had that weird idea about the tsukiyomi brewing in my head for a while. Don't mistake it for Itachi bashing... there's actually gonna be some smut involving Itachi in the future.
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