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What Do You See?	By : Snowway32 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2093 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters there in. No money is made from this

Chapter List
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Thank you for reading it makes me happy to see the number of hits this story recieves. I finished the chapter for you guys with a special art piece with it as a thank you.
Can be found here: Wake Up from Your Nightmare: http://ratchets-sparkling.deviantart.com/#/d3kv4is
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"Who the fuck summoned me! Jiraiya I'm going to kill you!" The large frog yelled; he was irritated. He had just enjoyed a cup of sake with his brother and now he was hanging on to the edge of a cliff as a presence jumped all over his back. Yes, Gamabunta wanted to kill Jiraiya right now but the Sannin's chakra was undetectable.

"You're huge! Who're you?!" Gamabunta snapped out of his thoughts as the annoying pest settled on his nose; he had to cross his eyes to get a better look. The first thing he noticed were innocent blue eyes and bright blond hair; he frowned. The child definitely looked familiar but the man he could liken him to was long dead as far as he knew. He had after all been present when the Yondaime had died.

"I'm Gamabunta! Kid, learn respect when you're talking to me I'm the toad boss!" He yelled after a few moments of silence; right now he wanted to strangle Jiraiya; he was so looking forward to his cup of sake but instead he had to deal with a noisy teen and no Ero-Oyaji in sight. Well; he was just going to have to enjoy his time here whilst he could and maybe teach this little Minato look alike who was the boss.

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"Well; I better step in. This could get ugly." Jiraiya noted. Gamabunta was definitely way beyond annoyed and looked about ready to explode; it was expected since the large frog had a very volatile personality. He had watched as Naruto refused to let up on his grip on Gamabunta's hiaori for the entire day and he had to admit he was impressed with both Gamabunta's trouble to shake the blond off and that Naruto refused to give up. But right now Gamabunta looked ready to flip his lid.

"Yo. Bunta!" He yelled as he jumped on the large frog's nose and the summon's stopped his movement immediately and Jiraiya managed to catch Naruto right before he fell off. Naruto looked a bit worse for wear and was thoroughly exhausted but Jiraiya smiled approvingly. Naruto had done well; better than he could ever have hoped for.

"Well done Naruto." The blond smiled as he slumped into Jiraiya's comforting grip and seemed to pass out from the exertion. Jiraiya sighed as he settled Naruto in his lap as he turned his eyes towards the large frog. The annoyance seemed to have faded and Bunta looked contemplative as he studied the sleeping Naruto in his arms.

"You've noticed it haven't you Bunta?" Jiraiya smirked towards the large frog and promptly coughed as a large billow of smoke was blown from the frog's mouth in his sigh of acceptance. Whether it was to annoy the Sannin or not; Jiraiya could not tell.

"Yes I did." The answer was simple and to the point but intelligent eyes burned into Jiraiya's black; an understanding passed through them. A sullen mood settled over them as both relived memories long hidden away because of pain. Bunta was contemplative and blew another plume of smoke before summoning a very small frog. He landed in Naruto's hair and looked up at his father expectantly; Bunta's deep voice gave the simple order.

"Look after Naruto and when he wakes inform me." Gamakichi nodded and did as he was told. Settling himself in the blonde's hair as he assessed the teen he was now attached to. He didn't understand why his father had asked him to watch this shinobi but shrugged; he'd get some answers sooner or later. The silence that surrounded the summons was broken by Jiraiya as he shifted the blonde in his arms and stood up.

"Thanks Bunta for looking out for him today. Ja na." He gave a little salute as he jumped from the large toad's nose and landed on the ground with a soft thud.

"Look after him Jiraiya. Minato would have murdered me if I had accidentally killed him." Bunta laughed at himself as he disappeared in a large puff of smoke. His words may have seemed like a joke but they both knew he was speaking the absolute truth. Only the smell of moss and tobacco hinted that Bunta had been there in the first place. Jiraiya sighed as he headed for their camp; now the real sports would begin. They had three weeks to perfect the Rasengan and he had to admit even if it was going to be hard work it was going to be enjoyable.

"Minato; I hope you're watching. Naruto is growing up." He smiled as he finally laid the sleeping blonde on his bed roll and went in search of food. Leaving Naruto with Gamakichi; if Gamabunta had offered his son to Naruto's protection then Jiraiya knew that Naruto would be well looked after.

"Wake up; Naruto. It's time to eat." Jiraiya watched as blue eyes opened slowly and the blonde nodded; not even noticing a weight on his head disappear as Gamakichi poofed back to his father's side. Dinner was spent in silence; it was heavy and thick with unanswered questions but also with a tinge of dread. Jiraiya frowned; wondering what could have stopped Naruto's potent happiness. He sighed and took the blonde's hand within his and gave a light squeeze.

"Naruto; you did very well today. It's the first time I've ever seen someone summon Bunta on their first try. You earned his trust and that is even worth more praise than actually summoning him." Jiraiya praised and saw the flicker of happiness that crossed blue eyes.

"Really?" That one question was filled with so much hope and expectation. Jiraiya gave a enthusiastic nod as he carded calloused fingertips through soft blond hair; Naruto seemed to lean into the touch as a sigh escaped his lips. Leaning against the white haired Sannin to get more of that touch.

"Yes really and as a reward I'll teach you a special technique. One that the Yondaime invented but asked me to pass it down to the one I found worthy. I chose you Naruto; I believe you can do despite the hard work that it will entail." Their enjoyment of their company together was animated by simple touches and bright smiles. Jiraiya felt his mood lift as Naruto's antics got more animated in his speech and actions. Such a special gift he possessed, it was as if everyone would believe in him more than those they already trusted. He didn't want this short time they had together to end at all; in fact he wanted to steal the blond away for himself and travel through the world.

"Go to sleep Naruto; it's been a long day and I want you to have your chakra reserves back by tomorrow."

~

'Naruto! You monster what have you done!' Words, harsh unforgiving words that left a gaping hole in his chest. Blue eyes filled with tears as the world was bathed in the dark red of blood. It was everywhere; on him, around him, dripping from his fingers and chest. His breathing was irregular and filled with pain; his heart was stuttering beneath bloodied fingers buried on his jacket. .

'No! It wasn't me!' But was that the truth? Why were his hands stained with so much blood and why was he in so much pain? His mind was reeling and filled with images of how clawed hands ripped through innocent souls and bathed in their screams. He clamped his hands over his ears in hopes of stopping the screaming as well as the accusing voice of his sensei. He wanted to retch and throw up; it was nauseous to see all that blood.

'It was you Naruto! Why? After I put so much fait in you?' Tears of disappointment turned to blood as his hand sunk into the flesh before him; millimetres away from the strong beating heart. A silent scream sounded loudly in his own ears; white hair bathed in black as blood flowed freely from the gaping wound. What had he done? Why had he done it?

'NO!' His screams went unheard as sincere black eyes dulled and the life in them drained away. He was hurting; he couldn't move and even over the loud yells of his sobs he could still hear the accusing voice that screamed at him that it was all his fault. He sank into the corner as he hugged his knees to his chest; his teeth buried in his wrist. Something. He needed something to dull the immense pain that spilled through his entire being.

"Please stop!" his voice yelled and no one heard; the only person that listened and accepted him was dead and soaked through by his own blood. Blood that he had caused! He was alone all over again; left to fend for himself with no ounce of affection and love from anyone. Years spent bathed in his own blood as kunai and shuriken were haphazardly thrown at him; years of suffering abuse that he did not understand. Was he really that unlovable? Was he really such a monster? His heart wanted to protest but he beat it into submission. Maybe he was; maybe he always remain a monster?

'I hate you Naruto!' The words were clipped and harsh, filled with the cold hatred he had come to know very well through his fourteen years of existence. He yanked at his hair and covered his ears more harshly; he didn't want to hear anymore. He didn't want to see anymore. The kunai glinted in his palm; stained with lies and black blood. The blood of his unknown parents and the blood of the three people that had acknowledged him. It was to be stained in his blood now; it was cold against his palm but he didn't flinch as the razor sharp kunai buried itself in his left hand. Impaling it into the ground; if it was pinned to the ground he couldn't hurt them anymore; couldn't hurt anyone anymore.

'Naruto!' The voice was familiar but he couldn't breathe; the pain was so much. His heart was stuttering and slowing; he didn't care. 'please let it end' he begged any deity that would listen. Tears; hot and stinging across his cheeks fell unbidden and soaked into the earth below. Graves with no names and yet, held such a strong sorrow as if they were people he should have known. People that would have meant the world to him...

'Naruto! Open your eyes!' That voice; it couldn't be. No, he had killed him. He had caused him to die in the most horrific way. 'Please, stop tormenting me! Please.' He sobbed; his heart breaking all over again. Would there be no escape from himself? What had he ever done to deserve this immense pain?

'What have I done?!' What had he done? Exist? Well that could easily be stopped...

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Jiraiya was turning in a fitful sleep but couldn't figure out why he was suddenly dragged from his thoughts. Naruto was shifting restlessly in his sleep and Jiraiya sighed; maybe if he splashed his face with cold water it would stop the worry building in his heart. Something felt off but what he could not say. With careful footsteps he left for the stream that ran behind their campsite. The water was cold but refreshing and Jiraiya enjoyed the feel of it running through his fingers. It calmed his raging thoughts. If Naruto continued to strengthen the way he was now then he would become the youngest Hokage ever; it had been the third week into their training and five days remained but Naruto had already mastered the Rasengan. Was it possible for one so young to be blessed with so much talent? Was it possible that Minato had left Naruto with such a legacy that only he could fulfil? The questions seemed endless and still he could not find an answer at all.

He frowned; had he just heard a whimper? Shacking his head he rose from his knees and headed towards their camp. His steps froze; something was definitely wrong and it was as clear as day now. Naruto was curled in on himself as he whimpered in what seemed to pain. Jiraiya moved as fast as he could until he was kneeling by the blonde's side. Concern striking through him like a bolt of lightning; harsh, painful and filled with danger. It looked like Naruto was trapped in emotional turmoil and was suffering immensely because of it. The way tears forced themselves between closed lids only proved that theory. He wasn't sure if this was caused by nightmares or if someone had managed to put him under a genjitsu. Very carefully he pulled the vulnerable body against his chest as he placed his fingers on Naruto's hitai-ate and channelled his chakra into the teen's forehead.

"Kai!" Nothing happened and Jiraiya breathed a sigh of relief; at least it was not a genjitsu. But now he had to wake Naruto from a very intense nightmare which only got worse the more he was left to wander the mazes of his mind. He remembered that Minato had the same problem; he would literally live that dream as if it was really happening. If Naruto suffered from the same type of night terrors then this was going to be difficult to resolve. He pushed healing chakra into Naruto's forehead in hopes of startling him awake.

"Naruto!" He yelled but that didn't seem to work. The boy was too far into his dreams to even realize that it wasn't reality; to him it must have been real. Just like Minato...

"Naruto! Open you eyes; come one. Open your eyes for me. It's only a dream." The form in his arms twitched as the hyperventilating increased. If Naruto did not breathe properly he was going to pass out soon from lack of oxygen. He had his fingers resting on Naruto's pulse and it was fluttering erratically. He removed the heavy hitai-ate from Naruto's forehead as he smoothed away sweaty locks. This was not good; he had to wake Naruto up.

"NARUTO!" The blonde jerked as a deep breath entered his lungs in a rush. It was shaky and forced but it woke him up instantly; just as a scream died on his lips. Images flashed before his eyes as the dream haze faded from him. His surroundings became clearer but still lingering regret filled through him as he curled into the warm arms surrounding him. He felt constricted and afraid but something told him to not move.

"I'm sorry." He kept repeating as the scent of his beloved sensei filled his nose; he breathed deeply. In and out as Jiraiya directed him through a calm voice and listened to the man's heartbeat next to his ear. It was steady, strong and alive. Relief flooded through him, he didn't know what he would do if Jiraiya was really dead. He would probably lose all hope in life and take his own. Warm, gentle, calloused fingers carded through his hair as the other rested over his heart; it was a comfort that he had never felt before. One he would not trade for the world.

~

Naruto's breath hitched as he felt himself calm considerably. He didn't know how long it was but Jiraiya had never let him go or stopped whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He shifted and looked up into concerned black eyes; his body was still tired and he still felt a pang of guilt but those eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"Are you back Naruto?" Jiraiya asked softly as he placed his hand on Naruto's forehead to feel for a temperature. The erratic heartbeat beneath his fingertips had stilled and Naruto's breath had returned to normal. The blonde head gave a soft nod and Jiraiya smiled softly.

"I'm glad Naruto. You had me worried there." Jiraiya replied honestly. He shifted the smaller body against him so that Naruto was sitting in his lap; back resting against his chest as Jiraiya laid his head on Naruto's shoulder. His arms holding Naruto against him in a comforting grip. The body against his relaxed as Naruto melted into the touch; a small hiccup spilling from his lips. Causing Jiraiya to chuckle softly.

"What did you dream about Naruto?" The question was soft and offered a chance for refusal and Naruto took it. Shaking his head in denial. Naruto was still not ready to repeat the events that unfolded in his nightmare; the images were still too fresh in his mind and brought too much pain. The night was still heavily scented with his fear and it looked like it was going to be a long time until the sun peaked over the horizon.

"Do you have these dreams often Naruto?" Jiraiya asked concerned.

"Yes, but this one was much worse than the others." Naruto croaked; his voice was thick with unshed tears that he held back on purpose. If Jiraiya had noticed he didn't say anything. He nodded against Naruto's shoulder as he stood up and placed the Kyuubi container back on his bed roll. He missed the shiver that travelled through Naruto and the sudden whisper of fear flash across expressive blue eyes.

"Will you be alright Naruto?" Jiraiya asked as he pulled the covers up to Naruto's chin and smoothed away blond hair from his forehead. The touch made Naruto's eyes close and Jiraiya gave a soft smile. He should het back to bed; he planned on taking Naruto to his father's grave tomorrow. It wasn't long until Naruto's breaths evened out and deepened. Signalling to the Sannin that his exhaustion had caught up to him.

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Naruto listened closely until he heard Jiraiya's soft snores. Now was the time to move if he planned to get to the clearing and get back before day break. Making sure his weapons pouch was safely in place he headed for the trees; picking up speed as he went. It had been a while since he had last done this but thanks to the stupid fox the deep scars faded by the end of the week. He didn't understand why he did it but sometimes it took his mind off of his memories and dreams he lived through more often than not.

He hummed a tune to himself as he settled in the clearing he had discovered as a young child whilst playing by himself. Naruto was anything but stupid, despite the preconceptions of those around him. In actual fact it had become a habit to hide behind his stupidity. But his soul was much older than the body it resided in, much wiser then any of those around him and lived through so much more pain than he could comprehend. This was habit, it came to him naturally and he was glad for the distraction it brought.

"I sometimes worry for my own sanity." Naruto said to himself as he took his favourite kunai from his weapons pouch and stared at the sharpened blade; hypnotized by the moon's light as it bounced across the polished metal. It was calming, just holding this in his hands. So much control. So much promise and such a deadly amount of danger that it was potent to just be able to hold it. But that was not what he had come out here for. He brought the kunai to his lips and licked the sharpened edge; satisfied when he tasted blood. Good; it was as sharp as he had hoped. He had to force himself to not keep on licking the blade; sometimes he enjoyed the taste of blood too much.

The metal was cold against his wrists and he was careful to roll up his sleeves in order to prevent them from being bathed in red. He took a breath of hesitation and allowed his resolve to lead him. In a daze he watched with fascinated eyes as blood welled up and spilled over the deep wounds; satisfaction filled him. An eerie calm settled over his restless heart and dulled the pain that threatened to overwhelm him completely. Six, he counted six successive cuts on his right wrist. No, he needed more. He shifted where he sat and allowed his mind to take over. The kunai switched hands as he started on the other wrist. There; that made him feel so much better.

A flicker of guilt showed in blue eyes; he was afraid if someone would find out his secret but bit his lip hard and pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. Now was not the time to think about it; now he had to get back to camp before Jiraiya woke up and found he was not there. He hissed as he applied the bandages to cover the wounds and pull down orange sleeves to hide the white material from sight. It was five days until the finals and he felt dread settle over him; what if he could not please Kakashi with his new techniques and Sasuke believed he was weaker than before? A sigh escaped his lips as a voice whispered to him that he would be fine; he only needed to believe in himself. Easier said than done; he replied to his mind sarcastically.

His feet carried him back towards the camp where the dying embers of the fire had dulled and were glowing a soft orange. Jiraiya was still fast asleep and Naruto gave a saddened smile; he felt like such a burden sometimes to this powerful man but he was happy that Jiraiya believed in him. He sat on his bedroll and wiped at his fatigued eyes; he had had a very emotional night but Jiraiya had gained a bigger place in his broken heart. Right now that was all that mattered; these few minutes he could just watch over the man that believed in him so much maybe even more than he deluded himself into believing.

"Thank you Jiraiya-sensei." The words were nostalgic and familiar to him. He smiled and headed for the stream to wash away the evidence of his tears. There was no need to make Jiraiya-sensei worry over him anymore than he had that night. He was content and happy with himself even if the sting of the scars in his wrists faded under the ministration of the Kyuubi no Kitsune's power. Yes, his world's equilibrium was partially restored until he experienced another frightening nightmare like before. Only time would tell the damage that was done and could not be undone...
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Thanks for the read and I'll see you soon.
Ja Ne
SnowShadowPass
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