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Sugar and Alcohol	By : nekokunoichi Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1302 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or profit from any of my writing.

Chapter List
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Deidara's hands were shaking. He hid them in his lap, under the table, and tried to hold them still, but to no avail. The idea of a threesome made him nervous. He felt like he might throw up, and wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol, or his anxiety. Itachi had the same calm demeanor he always had. Since he was drunk though, he wasn't stoic, and expressed emotions almost like a normal person. Tobi was the same obnoxious goof as always. From the way he had been powering down the candy earlier, Deidara suspected he had a sugar high to go with his inebriation.
"Excuse me gentleman, but it's 4:30 in the morning, and I need to close the bar." The bartender said. "Ah, of course. Forgive us for keeping you up so late." Itachi replied politely as he stood. The young woman smiled. "No need for apologies, this is my normal closing time. Besides, you guys are the funnest bunch of customers I've had in a while. You're welcome back whenever you want." Tobi stumbled over to the bartender and hugged her. "Thank you Midori-san! We like you too. You make good mixed drinks." Midori laughed. "I'm glad to hear it." Deidara stood up on wobbly feet and stretched. "That Thousand Years of Death drink of yours is great, un. I'll definitely be back here some time."
The Akatsuki chatted with the bartender a few minutes longer before leaving. They stumbled out into the street and made it about a block before Deidara vomited. Tobi held his hair back as he did so. "Thanks...un." Deidara said awkwardly. "Anything for Senpai!" The masked ninja chirped. The blonde plopped down on the sidewalk, and cradled his head. "I can already tell I'm gonna regret this tomorrow." he groaned. "I think we all will." Itachi said before sitting next to him. Tobi fell over in the street and laid there. "You ok?" the raven asked. "Tobi is ok. Just thinking." He clasped his hands behind his head. "The street isn't a safe place to think." Itachi stated, a hint of amusement in his voice. "What are you thinking about?" Tobi turned his head until he was looking at the two men sitting on the curb. "Deidara-senpai." He said softly. The blonde looked up at the sound of his name. "What about me?" He mumbled. "Can the mouths in your hands taste?" Deidara snorted. "Unfortunately, un. My exploding clay tastes awful too. Speaking of awful, does anybody have a mint or some gum?" Tobi pulled a giant bag of candy seemingly out of nowhere and began to dig through it. Upon closer inspection, Deidara realized Tobi had everyone's candy in that bag, and that it was probably a pillow case. The masked man threw a mint in Deidara's direction, and Itachi caught it just before it made contact with the blonde's face. "You shouldn't throw stuff to drunk people." The Uchiha chastised, handing the candy to Deidara. The young man contemplated the mint for a moment before turning and throwing up a second time. Tobi saved the artist's pretty hair from the contents of his stomach once again. "How the hell are neither of you guys sick?" Deidara groused. "Tobi has a strong stomach and ate lots of candy to absorb some of the alcohol." Tobi replied. "I didn't drink the Thousand Years of Death." Itachi said.
The trip back to base was a slow one. Everybody's reflexes and senses were dulled. Deidara passed out at some point, and Tobi carried him piggyback style the rest of the way. His heart beat faster than it should have, and he relished the feel of Deidara's body on his. Senpai's hair smells good. The lovestruck shinobi thought to himself.
There was darkness and heat. Deidara couldn't see, but could hear voices around him. They sounded garbled, like he was underwater. There was a pleasant warmth radiating from above him. It was body heat. There was a hand caressing his face and hair, then lips were on his. He cried out in surprise when he felt tightness, wetness, and heat engulf his member. "Oh gods..." he murmured. All other words or thoughts were lost on him. There were hands on his stomach. He moaned long and low when whoever was on top of him began to move. Orange swirled in his vision. The person on top of him panted. Deidara came.
Once they arrived at base, Itachi suggested going to his room, since it was closest. The raven couldn't see Tobi's face, but knew from his body language that he was embarrassed. "What's wrong?" He asked. "I think senpai just peed on me." Tobi whispered. The Uchiha looked at the passed out man who was still very much attached to Tobi's back. He seemed to focus for a moment, then wrinkled his nose. "That's not pee, Tobi." He said softly. "Then what-oh..." If it were possible for masks to blush, Tobi's would have been red as a tomato. Deidara chose this moment to stir. "Sasori no Danna...you smell like chocolate." He said sleepily, nuzzling Tobi's hair. The masked man gasped at the contact before dumping Deidara unceremoniously onto Itachi's bed. The artist started, completely awake and rattled. "Hey, what the hell!" He shouted at Tobi's retreating back. "Sorry Deidara-san, but could you wait here for a moment while I talk to Tobi?" Itachi asked. The blonde nodded in response.
Deidara wondered what would make Tobi run off like that, then he noticed his pants were wet. His eyes widened as dread took hold. Reality hit him like a ton of bricks. He had a wet dream. While riding on Tobi's back. The blonde curled into a little ball, feeling humiliated. Tobi must be mad at him for messing up his cloak and ruining their chances for a threesome. Deidara sighed heavily and dragged himself off of Itachi's bed. He stumbled into his room, which was next door, and stripped down for a shower. The hot spray was soothing to his nerves.
"Tobi, what's the matter?" Itachi asked, though he already knew the answer. Tobi hung his head. "Senpai is in love with his late senpai." He said mournfully. "That's possible, though if it's true, I don't think it's something he would ever admit, not even to himself." Itachi replied. "Why?" Tobi asked. The Uchiha thought for a moment. "Because, he thinks love is a waste of time, and a hindrance to being a ninja." The masked man made a small noise in the back of his throat. "Tobi doesn't stand a chance..." His body shook, and Itachi suspected he might be crying. "You know romantic relationships are forbidden in this organization." Itachi stated. "Why!?" Tobi wailed, sinking to the ground. "Why are we allowed to do things to each other's bodies but not feel anything with out hearts? Are we not human?" Tobi was crying. Itachi flinched. Leave it to Tobi to say something so profound. "If something does happen between you two, I will look the other way." Itachi said softly. "I think you stand a chance. That's why I was pushing you two together the whole night." Tobi sniffled. "Y-you would do that?" The Uchiha sat next to him. "I think Pein's policy is meant to protect us, but it does more harm than good. No human can kill all of their emotions..." he trailed off. The masked man scratched his head. "Senpai hates me. He's always mad at me. I don't think I stand a chance." He pulled his knees to his chin. "You don't know until you try." Itachi said. "Are you still up for a threesome?" He inquired. Tobi tensed. "But senpai is-" The raven cut him off. "Deidara is one of the most prideful people in this organization. He said he would do it, he won't back out." He stood up. "What makes you think that?" Tobi asked, standing up as well. "When he isn't drunk and desperate for sex, he hates me. He's trying to seduce me tonight merely because he sees me as a conquest, and thinks that if he succeeds, he will be defeating me somehow. He has a huge ego, and is very competitive." Itachi explained as the two walked back to his room. "You know senpai better than me." Tobi said. Itachi shrugged. "He's easy to read." The masked man tilted his head. "Am I easy to read?" The raven shook his head. "The only thing easy to read about you are your feelings for Deidara. I think that's why Pein put the no romance policy in place. If an enemy sees that you have feelings for a team mate, they may exploit them to get you killed, or to get information out of you." He opened the door to his room. "Oh, that makes sense." The masked man replied quietly.
By the time Tobi and Itachi got back to Itachi's room, Deidara was out of the shower and back in it as well. He was sitting in a chair near the only window, staring out it and molding clay idly. The raven guessed from the way the blonde was dressed that he still wanted sex, or rather, that he probably didn't want it at all, and was just acting like he did for his pride's sake. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black sweats. His hair was down, and looked damp. Deidara set his lump of clay down and looked up at the other two men. Itachi was gazing appreciatively, and Tobi seemed nervous. Why would a supposed sex god be nervous? Somewhere in the back of Deidara's still intoxicated mind flashed a fleeting thought about Tobi's sexual prowess. He grimaced.
"Is something wrong?" Itachi whispered in Deidara's ear as he climbed into his lap. The blonde's breath caught at the sudden contact. "Nothing at all." He husked, his voice having already dropped in pitch in response to what was going on. Deidara pulled at Itachi's cloak. The raven took the hint and got up to remove the heavy garment. Tobi was standing in the middle of the room awkwardly, looking like a statue. "Tobi-kun. Won't you join us?" Itachi purred. "Or is voyeurism your thing?" Tobi sputtered for a moment before regaining his wits and removing his cloak. Deidara stood and walked over to Itachi. He ran his hands up the taller man's shirt and leaned in to nip at his neck. The raven hissed, so Deidara licked the spot he had just bit before moving to suck on his earlobe. At the same time, he used one of his hands to lick and suck on one of Itachi's nipples, the other hand was giving the same treatment to a sensitive spot on the raven's hip. Itachi in turn lightly scratched and pinched the younger man's only nipple while he ran a finger across the stitches in his chest. Deidara felt a gloved finger trail down his spine, and he shivered. "Whatcha doin' Tobi?" his speech was muffled by Itachi's neck, which he had his face buried in. "I don't know." the masked man admitted. "Just do stuff that you do to me." Itachi instructed the nervous shinobi. "Ok." Tobi said breathlessly before grabbing Deidara's hips. His right hand played along the blonde's stomach, slowly sliding lower and lower. He dipped his fingers into the artist's pants, only to drag them lightly from one hip bone to the other and back again. His hand replaced Itachi's on Deidara's nipple, and he was being more gentle with it than the raven had been. Itachi's hands were down the back of Deidara's pants, kneading at his ass. The Uchiha was lip-locked with the bomber, probing his mouth with his tongue and sucking and biting on his bottom lip. The artist had a hand down Itachi's pants. It was wrapped around his cock, pumping and licking simultaneously. His other hand still roamed over the Sharingan user's torso, finding all kinds of sensitive spots to bite and suck. When Deidara's tongue found the head of Itachi's penis, the taller man broke the kiss. His head lolled back and he groaned. "Gods Deidara, that's insane." He rasped. The blonde shivered again when Tobi started to tickle the curls above his dick. "Tobi, you're being a tease again, un." Deidara said flatly. "Sorry sen-PAI!" Tobi's voice went up an octave or two when the object of his affection took his hand and wrapped it around his member. "Come stand beside me." Deidara suggested. When Tobi moved, Itachi pants'd Deidara. The blonde smirked and returned the favour, then went back to giving the raven a hand job. Tobi started to stroke Deidara gently and slowly. The bomber undid Tobi's pants and pulled his cock out. "Comando, huh? I always figured you were more of a boxer guy." Deidara commented. The masked ninja scratched his head with his free hand and laughed nervously. The blonde took both men into his mouths at the same time, thankful that they had passages that went into his wrists which were easily stretched to accommodate his clay. Tobi moaned his name and Itachi's breath hitched. It was interesting to taste two flavours at the same time. Itachi was bittersweet, and Tobi was salty. The masked man was pumping Deidara faster now. The fabric of his gloves felt good, and he wondered what they were made of. "Deidara...more..." Itachi rasped. Deidara smirked. He had won. His mission for the night was to get Itachi to beg. He may never beat Itachi in a fight thanks to his stupid eyes, but when it came to matters of this nature, he knew he had an advantage over just about anyone. "I want you, Senpai." Tobi husked. His voice was almost sexy. Almost. "Then take off your mask." The blonde said with a grunt as Tobi rubbed his thumb over the head of his weeping cock. The masked man pulled two silky looking orange blindfolds out of nowhere. Does he have a dimension filled with candy and sex toys? Deidara thought to himself.

The men broke apart from their circle jerking session. "How are we going to do this?" Deidara asked. Itachi sat on his bed. "I'm going to be on the very bottom. I don't know about you guys. If being penetrated is too big of an issue with either of you, you can just take turns with me, I suppose." Tobi sat beside him. "Tobi wants a sandwich!" He whined. Deidara glared at him. "Then you be the meat. Itachi and I will be the bread." He huffed. "Tobi will bottom...for senpai." The masked man pulled lube out of nowhere. Holy shit, he does have a hammer zone!" Deidara clenched his teeth to keep his jaw from hitting the ground. "But senpai, you have to prep me, I've never bottomed before." Deidara sighed. In the end, he wouldn't get to fuck Itachi. But at least he wouldn't have to take it in the ass from Tobi either. The thought of going anywhere near Tobi's butt repulsed him slightly. But Deidara was horny, and in desperate need of release, so he would take what he could get.
Itachi and Deidara made quick work of undressing Tobi. The blonde had to bite back a laugh at how ridiculous his teammate looked wearing nothing but a mask. It was enough to make the blood start flowing away from his groin, so he looked at Itachi instead. Tobi handed Deidara the lube, and Itachi instructed him to lay on his back. The blonde crawled between Tobi's legs, and lifted them until his calves were resting on his shoulders. The masked man tensed up. "Relax." Itachi said in a soothing voice. "If Deidara knows what he's doing, it should feel good." The artist turned to glare at The Uchiha. "Shut it, un." He snapped. Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Are you not having fun?" He asked, looking at Deidara's flaccid member. Tobi was still hard despite being nervous. "It's the mask." He admitted. "Sorry senpai." The man below him said. "Do you think you can do this blindfolded?" Itachi Inquired. Deidara's cock throbbed at the thought. He loved being blindfolded. "Fuck yes I can, un." With that, Itachi crawled up behind him and put one of Tobi's blindfolds on him. It was enough to get Deidara completely hard again. He applied a liberal amount of lube to one of his hands. The other hand found Tobi's dick, and licked up his shaft. The lubed hand kept its mouth closed and went for the masked man's entrance. He probed gently at the fluttering muscle as he deep..wristed Tobi, his teeth gently grazed the man's penis. "Deidara..." The taller shinobi was panting, this fact was made louder by his mask. The artist got one finger into Tobi, and probed around for a certain spot. Tobi moaned, and his cock jumped. Deidara tasted pre-cum. He continued to rub Tobi's prostate for a minute longer before inserting another finger. Deidara could hear the distinct sound of a hand flying over a wet cock, and he smirked. "Itachi, you sick voyeur." He teased. "You guys should see yourselves. It's pretty hot." Came the breathless reply.
The blonde continued to finger Tobi until three of his fingers were sliding easily in and out of him, and he was writhing on the sheets. "Do you think you're ready for my cock?" He asked. The masked man's response was to thrust and say "hit that spot again." Deidara could hear Itachi approaching the bed. "I would say he's ready." The blonde removed his fingers and wiped them on Itachi's sheets. When the raven growled, Deidara replied with "they're gonna need washed after this anyway, un." He got off the bed, and Tobi did too. Then he heard the bed creak and knew Itachi was getting situated. The sound of rustling silk let him know that Itachi was putting on a blindfold, shortly following that was the sound of more rustling fabric and a faint thud, as Tobi's mask probably found the floor. The bed squeaked again, then there was the sound of kissing. Itachi was laying on his back, he gathered. There was more shifting, and then a low groan and the hitching of breath. "Are you guys ready?" Deidara asked. "Yeah." Tobi breathed.
Deidara found Tobi's hips. He slid his cock around the taller man's crack until he found his entrance. "Tell me if it hurts too much, I'll stop." He said quietly. "Ok, senpai." Tobi's voice shook. The artist inched his cock slowly into the other's passage. "Fuck." He hissed when it was in to the hilt. He waited until Tobi gave the ok to move. He wondered if staying still was as torturous to them as it was for him. "Deidara-senpai, you feel good." That was all the encouragement the blonde needed.

Tobi was in heaven. The three had a slow, steady pace set. It felt good to fill and be filled. Itachi was playing with his nipples and kissing him. He would rather be kissing his senpai, but the things Deidara was doing to him were nice. The man behind him was sliding across his prostate with each thrust. One hand was on his hip for support. It licked and sucked. It would probably leave a mark, but that was ok, because he wanted to belong to him. The other hand was kissing biting and scratching different places on his back. Groans, moans, and sighs of pleasure filled the air.
The weight of two men pressing down on him was exquisite. Itachi loved to bottom. Probably more than any other Akatsuki member, except for perhaps Kisame. Tobi was good at kissing. He was great with his hands. The one on his cock certainly felt amazing, and the cock in his ass was perfect. Tobi wasn't so big that he would rip people in half, but he wasn't tiny either. He was average in size. Even the noises Tobi was making were sexy. Deidara would be lucky to have him, not only for his skills as a lover, but because he was kind hearted. Goofy? Yes. Stupid? Probably not. Itachi suspected it to be an act. But he would do anything for Deidara. He would probably die for him. Not many people in Akatsuki were that loyal to their partners. Itachi was thrown out of his thoughts by a particularly fiery kiss. The raven threaded his fingers through Tobi's hair and pulled gently. Tobi moaned loudly into Itachi's mouth and began to thrust faster. The Uchiha matched the man's thrusts and broke away from the kiss. "Pull his hair, Deidara." He instructed.
So Deidara adjusted to the new speed, and yanked on Tobi's hair. It wasn't very gentle, but the man didn't seem to mind. "S-senpai!" He sounded urgent. The blonde tested a theory that popped into his head. He scratched Tobi's back hard enough to leave marks. "Stop it or I'll-" Tobi half moaned half shouted. Tobi is a masochist! Shit, I should stop beating him up, he probably likes it. Deidara thought. He got a rush being a little rough in bed, so he didn't relent. Instead, he pulled his teammate's hair harder, while his other hand bit his hip. He also leaned over and bit his back somewhere.
Tobi's whole body tensed and began to spasm with the intensity of his orgasm. He thought his knees would give out. He braced himself on the bed, hands on either side of Itachi's head for support, as he thrust erratically into the Uchiha, filling him with his seed. "Deidara!" He cried hoarsely before collapsing onto the unsatisfied man beneath him.

Deidara stilled, then pulled out, figuring it would be rude to keep going. "Sorry Senpai, Itachi." He heard Tobi say in a weak and embarrassed voice. Then he heard them move, and figured Tobi probably rolled off of Itachi. "It's ok." The raven soothed. "Being in the middle is overwhelming, we understand." The blonde moved to sit next to the others. Is being in the middle really that good? He wondered. "We can continue if you want." Deidara suggested to Itachi, since only one man in their threesome ended up coming. "I'm ok." Itachi said. "My penis is flaccid." The shame radiating from Tobi was palpable, but still he said, "if you want, I can help you, senpai." Deidara looked in the direction of his voice. "Would you let me top you again?" He rasped. "Yep!" Tobi chirped. "Alright, lead me to a chair then."
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Sugar and Alcohol