Deidara Grounded | By : seraserastuff Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1956 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, this is a fan-made story, no profit made |
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WARNING: Some non-con happens. There is suffering. Since previous chapters had more light-hearted content I thought I should give a warning incase people didn't want to read this one. I don't know if it went too far...so I rewrote it. It used to be totally worse...so much worse.
PLEASE DON'T HATE ME...
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Deidara could feel the air growing colder and damper, it seemed they were deep underground now. He could smell wet earthen walls close around him, similar to the smell of his clay...big contrast from the smell of the hot dry sand outside. But it wasn't making Deidara feel more at home, he preferred the open sky and...he knew this meant that they were now in the dugeons below the Sand villages prison.
Where else, for a member of Akatsuki?
The irony of it wasn't lost on him. So, he had attacked the Sand village from the heavens above it, but like a fallen angel, had descended to the pit of it's hell....That sounded sooo fucking artistic and shit. He'd would've had to remember that one to tell Master Sasori, if Sasori weren't dead...
But to be a fallen angel, you had to be an angel first, right? He almost laughed out loud, hit by the hilarity of the idea; really, he wanted to laugh about it with Sasori. Deidara started chuckling....was he starting to lose it a little...he musn't get hysterical. They hadn't even done anything to him yet...
Just breathe, just breathe.
He knew the Leaf-nins had separated from the escort-group long ago, before even entering the Sand Village. He'd had a very real worry that the sand-jonins would start kicking him to death as soon as they were out of sight; but it hadn't happened, at least not yet. Their grip on him was intense and bruising, and they did not speak to him or to one another. He could not discern personality from any of them...Deidara readily admitted to himself that he missed those fucking Leaf-nin a little, compared to this, he did miss them.
His face was still hidden by the blanket over his head. As the escort had passed through checkpoints, no one was told who he was; his presence in the village being kept top secret.
After what seemed like an age it seemed they had reached the place intended to hold him; the sound of heavy doors groaning open.
"Is this him?"
"Yeah, this is the one."
"Shackle him in the interrogation chair, the interrogators have not arrived yet. We're still waiting."
Didn't like the sound of this.
He was dumped down in a chair that seemed to be bolted down to the floor. The back of the chair was angled back somewhat. He felt his legs shackled apart by the knees and ankles to the part in front of it. Breathe, breathe...this was terrifying him. Hands clamped down on his shoulders and pressed him back.
"You are guys are meant to leave and guard outside, after delivering him here. That is what we were told, we're taking him now."
"We know, we know..."
Deidara heard the footsteps of several men leave the room, the ones who had brought him in.
He heard the doors being bolted shut, felt the blanket being pulled from over his head. Deidara found himself blinking in harsh, artificial light.
"He looks different then I thought he would..."
"His arms are half gone, how do I strap him to this."
"This one is designed for the neck..." Deidara heard the sound of chains rattling. They were stood behind him, he couldn't see...
A large manacle was clasped around Deidara's neck, what the hell? it was pulled back on suddenly, ah! Was he expected to breathe like this? The end of the chain was secured somewhere behind, keeping his head painfully strained back. He gulped for breath as it seemed to tighten as much as it would go. His back felt taught and was aching already. Stay calm. Don't panic. Don't panic. Deidara realised he had some serious phobia of being restrained...he just hadn't known it until these last few days, when he'd been restrained for the first time.
"That looks too tight, don't strangle him...we'll get in trouble."
"Tch, come on it's fine, I know what I'm doing."
They came and stood before the chair, studying him. Deidara studied them back. Two Sand nins of indiscernible rank; Okay, what. Didn't the Sand have anyone more powerful to guard a terrorist of his calibre? He was offended! Looking around the rest of the room he saw seals plastered over every surface, he recognised these. They were to prevent jutsu's being used, or for anyone to enter or leave this room by using a jutsu. Perhaps that was why...
"Not having so much fun now, are you?" One of them leaned over Deidara and slapped him, hard, across the face. "Yes, we saw you gallivanting around up there with our Kazekage-sama that night, everyone did!"
Deidara decided right then how he was going to cope with this.
"Hm? So you saw that?" Deidara grinned widely, cheek smarting a bit - he had two severed arms! What was a slap to him? "Pretty impressive display, wasn't it? what did you think, un?" He mustn't show weakness to these ones. He could see this guys were simple, weak; far below his level. If couldn't even steel himself against fodder like this, than what was he?
Deidara fully expected them to tell him exactly what they thought, with added violence. He showed them his well practised leer, preparing for a response.
The silence was deafening. He awaited their enraged reaction...but it didn't come. They looked furious, furious, but didn't make a move towards him. For a long time it seemed they stood there, it was...a little unsettling. Finally, they turned their heads to look at each other. When their eyes met, they smiled as though they had just come to an unspoken agreement...
They were smiling in a way that made Deidara's blood run cold.
"He's smaller than I was expecting, maybe it was the coat?" They spoke as if he wasn't there.
"And he's kind of pretty too... if you don't count the stumps." They came closer, one of them stepped back behind him, out of sight. Deidara couldn't follow him with his eyes.
"How can he still be a shinobi with no arms? Seriously! Or even a man, I mean, look how much of him's left!"
"He's only half a man now." They laughed again. All of the things he had planned to say left him, Deidara was at a loss for words. His body tightened with anger, colour rose in his face, as he took in what they were saying...thoughts he'd been fearing himself, but hadn't wanted to admit...their words struck at something inside. It hurt.
The guard brought his voice lower, huskier,"...but the half that's left, that's the only part that you really need, right?"
Suddenly the one behind him shoved his hands into Deidara's hair, pulling it? No, feeling it...
His heart stopped. So, it was to be like that then.
What these bastards seemed to think they were going to do, would not happen. It wasn't possible. It happened to other people, lower people, not to him. He was dangerous, he was untouchable.
It was like a bomb in his mouth going off.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" he snarled, animal like, whole body jolting against his restraints, they both jumped at his sudden change in behaviour. "Who do you think you are! I'LL KILL YOU! I'll will kill you! You'll be sorry you were ever born! I'll blast you to PIECES, It'll be an explosion like you could never imagine! You'll be art, and then you'll be gone, I'll watch as you turn into nothing, nothing will be LEFT! and that'll be it! You'll only last one second - not that even that! IT'S THAT QUICK! It'll be the highlight of your pathetic lives! You'll realise you were only born to be a tiny part of my masterpiece! There's no FUCKING ESCAPE, not even if you ran for a hundred miles-
The one in front pulled back a fist and punched Deidara hard, rock hard, in the stomach. He would have doubled over if not for the restraints - gagging painfully, he tried to recover, unable to curl up. He clenched his eyes shut as they watered from the pain.
"Well, your "cool" act lasted for about two seconds there Akatsuki. Seems you really don't like to be touched, do you?"
Deidara struggled desperately for breath, he couldn't have answered if he'd wanted to.
"...and what was all that weird shit about art and explosions? he seems kind of insane."
"'He'd have to be, to be in Akatsuki."
Now the one behind him pulled Deidara's hair out of it's tie and gathered it with the rest, pulling his fingers through it roughly. "Don't like that?" Gripping it, he brought his face in close until Deidara could feel the mans breath on the side of his face.
"Hey, how old are you? fifteen? sixteen?" he murmured, a trace of something new in his voice.
Deidara was nineteen (at least he thought so, he lost count easy). Why was he asking him questions like that? Did the sick fuck prefer to think that he was younger? He wanted to tell the fucker to mind his own business and get the hell out of his space, but just trying to draw breath was so painful right now.
"Oh he's ignoring us now, maybe we upset him,"
Deidara felt so confused, he had expected torture, but not of this type...and these men, they looked like normal people, totally normal, not like the faceless masked ogre of a torturer he'd imagined you might find in a dungeon. Why were they so sick? Deidara had always thought that he was pretty sick himself...blowing up shit was fun...but why did their anger come coupled with lust? Was it his looks? But surely he looked like a fucking mess right now; or did they get off on that, on having him so helpless before them? This cruelty, this malice they had...he could see it had been pent up...and they were letting it out, more and more...
The one behind pulled aside the top of Deidara's shirt..."'Don't touch me', you said?" and then he bit into Deidara's shoulder near the neck, long and hard, hard enough to draw blood.
He jumped at that, nearly leapt out of his skin with shock. They laughed, again. That sound, he knew he would never forget it. He loathed it. He thought of the teeth he'd had in his hands, they were strong as flint; used to munching on clay, if he'd had those right now he'd tear this guy a new one, call that a bite did he...
The guard in front stepped closer, towering over him. For a moment Deidara thought he was going to be punched again...but then the guard sat on him. Legs on either side of his own, straddling him, the guy wasn't huge but he was bigger than him, and it felt suffocating. An overpowering wave of revulsion passed over Deidara at this unwanted closeness, this was too much, he wanted to vomit.
"Un, g-get off!" he managed.
"Oh? Why should we!" The guard shouted suddenly, erupting with anger, Deidara couldn't even turn away. "You were quite prepared to drop a bomb on us and our families! You little shit! And I bet you don't even remember any us from that night, but we all remembered you, you fucker, for the last four day's everyone in the Sand has been talking about only two things: the return of the Kazekage, and the most painful method of death for you! This isn't even anything. You wait till the interrogator's arrive...you'll miss us by comparison...
He ran his hands down underneath Deidara's shirt, his fingers were rough, bruising him. He unfastened Deidara's pants, tugging them down, putting his hands...
Deidara was overcome by a sudden numbness, all-over. It was like he couldn't feel the guard's hands touching him, or his restraints, or the pain in his arms...nothing even hurt anymore, was he in shock? He stared blankly at the ceiling, counting tiles now...
Was this it. Was this payment...it wasn't just about the Kazekage, a whole population had watched him prepare to end their lives. All of them had seen him, but he hadn't seen any of them, not really. The city looked like a city from up there, nice layout, worth destroying...He never expected or contemplated that one day he might be faced on level with the people from it, with their hatred; now it was lose enough to burn him. And it was burning him. Everyone hated him so much. Everyone. Everyone he'd ever met. A lot. So was this simply just something that had been a long time coming, Something unavoidable? Finally caught up to him? He had never thought of it like that...
Thoughts of Kakashi, Gai and the other leaf-nin were coming to him unbidden; he wondered where they were. Would they still be in the Sand village, somewhere nearby? Were they travelling back to Konoha already? They hated him too, they had only even kept him alive for information but...they wouldn't have done this, even after what he put them through. But he wasn't their prisoner now, he was the Sand's. No sand-nin would disapprove of this, not after what he'd done, they had no reason to.
He closed his eyes. It was horrible, horrible. This intimacy. These men he loathed. He'd never been with anyone, hadn't wanted to. He still didn't now. But from what he knew of it, it was supposed to be an experience, a coming together of two people; like two mediums, like when he combined his chakra with his clay, it made art... the creation of something amazing. But for it to be like this...this way was...ugly. He'd take any other torture over this, any...
He trembled violently, couldn't stop it. Tried to go somewhere else in his mind, high up, somewhere they couldn't reach him...
"So the little bomber is afraid then?" one of them chuckled, seemed surprised.
"He's cute this way...I'd actually feel bad if I didn't know how evil he was."
"Those looks are just to deceive, he's a demon inside..."
Deidara wasn't even aware of what he men were doing anymore, he felt so dizzy and detached, like this wasn't real. They continued for a time, the room growing silent except for the ragged breathing of the three.
"...oi, don't do that, or they'll know."
"I-I wasn't going to!"
"Psh."
"Fine, wouldn't want to catch something anyway...I bet he get's around, look at him. Probably what Akatsuki keep him for..."
They froze. They seemed to be listening. Voices were raised outside the thick doors...Deidara found himself trying to listen over his own heavy breath and racing thoughts.
"Shit, there are people coming!"
"Not for another four hours I thought?"
"Well, someone's coming now!"
"Fuck, move!"
The guards leapt away from Deidara as fast as if he had electrocuted them. The guard who had sat on him hurridly pulled up and re-fastened Deidara's pants, then readjusted his own. There was rapping on the door, then the sounds of bolts being opened from the other side.
"Open up your side, the Kazekage is here," a voice barked.
"The Kazekage's come all the way down here!?"
"Shit, do I look alright?"
"Tuck in your vest...do I?
"What about him."
"He was already beat up before we got him, they won't notice..."
"I mean, what if he talks?"
"He won't...and who'll they believe, us or him...come on."
They unbolted the doors and pulled them open, allowing the new figures to enter...
There was Gaara, Gaara looking fully recovered and imposing in his Kazekage robes as he walked in, Kankuro and Temari were with him. Others followed...Kakashi, Gai, Sakura and Neji were with them. Was he seeing things...Deidara tried to focus, the room was coming back together, he watched them...
He could see that they sensed the tension in the room; anyone could have felt it, you didn't need to be a shinobi- it hung thick and obvious in the air. They were instantly suspicious.
Gaara looked at Deidara, who was still flushed and trembling. Earlier, Deidara would have set his features into a hard stare, to glare back at his old opponent evenly; but instead he could only look at him blankly, eyes wide; he was still in shock, his body wasn't doing what he wanted it too. And Gaara, this guy he had fought before, this guy he had helped to kill...it was impossible to tell what he was thinking, Gaara's face was expressionless.
"What's wrong with him?"
"He's probably realised he cannot escape the might of the Sand, Kazekage-sama,"
"He must be fearing the prospect of our just punishment."
They donned completely different persona's for the Kazekage. These guys, they knew enough that Deidara was proud, that he wouldn't say anything. And they were right, Deidara had no intention of telling anyone about it - not ever. What had just happened was too disgusting, too shameful...to have others know that he had been so weak as to have that happen... for people to have seen him like that... he glanced over at them.
They had composed themselves completely, not even broken a sweat. Were they practised at...this? A new worry came. What if he were left alone with them again? The idea was making him sick, sick. But even if he said something... would anyone believe him? He was terrorist scum, the number one enemy... or would they even care if they did know?
"You."
"Kazekage-sama?"
"Why is there blood on your lip, and a bite mark on his shoulder?" In their haste, Deidara's shirt had been left askew, revealing the angry mark.
"I bit my lip, and...that mark was already there."
"No it wasn't!" Sakura's shrill, indignant voice, "He's lying! Kakashi-sensei..."
"I know Sakura, but wait...."
The guard was staring at them, stunned, "How dare you-"
"These are my friends, don't speak to them in a disrespectful manner." Interrupted Gaara. "Now, I think that you lied to me just now. And I think there are other signs in here that would show you are lying to me..." Gaara swept his eyes over the guards.
"N-no Kazekage-sama...well yes, but...he is the one who kidnapped you isn't he-?" He caught himself, fearing that bringing up Gaara's defeat would be an insult to his Kazekage, "No, What I mean is! Isn't he the enemy? This section is reserved for the worst criminals, who's crimes measure the greatest, usually we can ...do what we like...that is the custom."
"That was the old Kazekage's way. My laws are different, have you not yet familiarised yourselves with them? I know the change-over is quite recent, but it should be in effect. Prisoners from any section are not be disciplined without written permission from the prison-council, and only carried out with a Jonin present."
"But in this case..."
"No exceptions."
Gaara spoke to Kakashi. "As we discussed, you can take him; I trust you completely. You can leave the prison through one of our tunnels, it ends near the city wall. Someone will lead you. I'll deal with these men and see that they are disciplined." He motioned for Temari and Kankuro. Whatever they had been thinking, they did not show or say. They stood grimly on either-side of Gaara, arms folded.
"Ah, but Kazekage-sama, you see-----"
"Thankyou Gaara..." there was relief in Sakura's voice.
Gaara and the guards continued to speak. Deidara's head span even more. Those men wouldn't be touching him again, so why did he continue to shake? Maybe the message hadn't gotten through to his body yet. His skin was turning cold and clammy from the sweat, his breathing still restricted. And he couldn't understand Gaara's indifference towards him, why didn't he hate him, want to hurt him - Deidara didn't understand at all.
"Deidara?"
Someone was addressing him... by name...it felt like forever since he'd last been called by it. Kakashi was next to him now, looking at his face in concern. "Deidara, can you hear me? Can you answer me?" Deidara just looked at him, his voice refusing to come. Neji and Sakura hovered nearby, looking worried.
Kakashi and Gai undid his manacles, starting with the one around his neck. He could relax his back when it was released, but his neck still felt so stiff and painful, and it made an odd sound as he tried to bring it forward. "Let me see - this won't hurt," Kakashi put his hands around the base of Deidara's neck; he flinched, but Kakashi just rubbed at it, massaging it gently, it was what Deidara would have done if only he'd had his hands, so he tolerated the gesture. It eased the pain.
"Come on kid," Gai pulled him out of the chair to stand on unsteady feet. Kid? Deidara couldn't see his own face but wondered if that was what he looked like right now. Kakashi brushed aside Deidara's hair and looked carefully at his eyes; Kakashi seemed anxious. Did he really look that bad? He felt in a daze, unable to say or do anything of his own volition, just allowed them re-tie his legs and place the blanket back around him.
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"When we get him to Konoha, do you think he'll tell them anything about the Akatsuki?"
"Not really, he seems far too stubborn to do that."
"Yeah, I think so too."
"Mind-techniques then?"
"Could work."
Kakashi looked down at Deidara who was sleeping next to where he was seated, hair half obscuring his face. He was snoring softly and muttering "un," at brief intervals every now and then. It didn't seem so surprising that he even made that sound in his sleep.
"How old do you think he is?" asked Gai.
"Hmm, probably seventeen or eighteen. Why?"
"He just seems too young to be part of Akatsuki."
"Itachi was thirteen when he joined."
"Ah yes, I suppose it's not really that young then."
Gai stoked at the fire thoughtfully. Their students slept peacefully around them, none of them stirred in the quiet night.
"Gai, you can't think of him that way. He's not your student," said Kakashi, seeing where this might be going. "He is part of Akatsuki, you can't get attached. We were trying our hardest to kill him just the other day."
"I know, I suppose it's just where we've been looking after him for a while...And then it was us who let the Sand have him, and now he's like that...
"Gai..."
"...and he's got that awful handicap with his arms..I know it was necessary Kakashi, but, I mean, it just reminds me of when Lee was told that he'd never fight again."
"But Lee isn't a ruthless terrorist. This guy, if he were able, he'd kill us. He nearly leveled the whole Sand village... you know that."
"I know."
...But Kakashi did understand what Gai meant. When they had entered the interrogation room, Kakashi had been struck by Deidara's appearence; he'd had one of the most awful, stricken looks on his face that Kakashi had ever seen. He looked so far from that laughing, menacing flying-terror that had thrown missiles and idle threats down at them from his high vantage point...he looked like a child at that moment. It was impossible not to feel some sympathy, even the Akatsuki it seemed, were only human.
They had entered the Sand Village, having no choice but to wait to speak to Gaara. The team recieved a hero's welcome, but there were many matters that needed seeing to; a funeral for Chiyo was being arranged, and Temari and Kankuro wanted to know everything they could about what happened with Gaara, Chiyo and the Akatsuki they had fought.
All the while, Kakashi had thought of Deidara. It was so important to Konoha that they obtain information on Akatsuki; it was paramount. But Deidara was so hated in the Sand village, things could have easily gotten out of hand... if Deidara were to be killed, then Kakashi would have felt accountable for his death as he had been the one to hand custody of him over to the Sand village. Really anything that happened to Deidara there would be his responsibility, Kakashi would be the one with the blame, the one having to explain to Tsunade what had gone wrong. Gai had been feeling similar, burdening the same feelings of responsibility. To complicate things, Kakashi also became concerned about Sakura who had become quite upset when Deidara was taken; and Kakashi knew it wasn't just about the possible loss of information. She became too easily attached, Deidara was not some wounded animal she had bandaged up and cleaned the blood from, he was their enemy, Kakashi had had to remind her of it. He'd had to remind himself too...
The roles had completely reversed, a few days ago, they had all worried about what Akatsuki were doing to Gaara, but now they worried about what the Sand village were doing to one of Akatsuki...
Gaara had then asked for them himself, wanting to thank them for his rescue. He was very formal with them, being the Kazekage and speaking as one should; but his level of gratitude and affection towards them was highly apparent. Free from Shukaku, he already seemed less troubled and more relaxed in both body and mind...was that something at least, to thank Akatsuki for? When he spoke of Deidara, there had not even been argument about whether or not he would allow them to leave with him, Gaara agreed to it readily, "I trust you". Temari and Kankuro were not happy with the decision, but it wasn't their choice to make and they knew it.
Gaara had gone with them to the dungeons, it was necessary that Gaara be there in person for the release of Deidara; because the Sand's most wanted prisoner was not to be released otherwise.
And what was when Kakashi had seen him...like that.
Kakashi had already noticed Deidara's (very obvious) inferiority complex and his intense shame at showing weakness during their initial capture of him in the forest. It had been ridiculous, almost sad to watch. He had actually expected a more dignified response from a member of the Akatsuki, mostly based off his previous interactions with Itachi and Kisame; though it seemed Akatsuki recruited all sorts of personalities. Deidara had been completely at a loss for what to do when faced with close physical encounters, helpless without his ranged attacks and flying creations. Initially Deidara had tried to appear uncaring, but his behaviour had quickly become hysterical as he was tied up and gagged.
Kakashi remembered how constrained Deidara had been when they saw him in the interrogation room...and now Deidara seemed completely detached; Kakashi had a good idea what those guards had done to him to rattle him so deeply, even if his more naive students still seemed unsure...
Naruto, Lee and Tenten had not been present when they went to the interrogation room, instead spending more time in the upper world of the Sand village. They were rejoined with them to exit together through the hidden tunnel. They had all noticed Deidara's obvious change in demeanor. "Did they drug him?" Tenten had whispered to Neji and Sakura, confused.
"I don't know..." Sakura had whispered back. Kakashi couldn't tell if Deidara might have been drugged, along with the abuse, either, to be honest. He looked so out of it. Kakashi had had a look at his eyes, they appeared to focus on him properly but seemed so vacant...
Even Naruto had shown concern, quietly asking Kakashi as they walked, "Sensei, so what's wrong with him? Did they torture him or something?"
"Yes." Kakashi had replied, giving the short answer. Despite Naruto's earlier vehemence and threats toward Deidara, he had not been pleased to hear it. Of course he wouldn't be; Naruto was not that kind of person. Kakashi thought that Lee might have guessed as he did not ask any questions; he seemed thoughtful, sad. Lee didn't like to think badly of their allies.
As it became darker, they had set up camp and rolled out their blankets. Gai set Deidara down, and Deidara had slowly lowered his head to the blanket, lying on his side, staring ahead. Kakashi knew he would have to speak to him about it...He approached Deidara and sat down, the others were gathering wood to make a small fire, although the night was warm it was moonless and dark.
"You don't have to talk to me about it, if you don't want to," said Kakashi, voice soft. He'd been told on several occasions that his voice had a calming effect. "But, do you want me to look at anything?... I won't tell the others - or would you prefer if Sakura...?" He looked down at Deidara. Deidara was still gazing ahead of him, face blank. He gave no indication that he had even heard Kakashi speak. He was still too shaken up, Kakashi would let him sleep.
"Hm," Deidara uttered quietly, not moving, he didn't turn his face to look at Kakashi. Kakashi listened carefully. "Don't pretend to be kind to me un, any of you...I don't like it...I don't need it," his voice lacked emotion, it was as empty as his face. "I would still kill you, first chance I get."
When Kakashi and Gai had released him from the interrogation room, he'd witnessed relief in Deidara - although to be fair, anyone would be grateful to see even their enemies save them from such a situation. But Deidara had shown a sort of dazed, child-like dependence on them that made Kakashi feel strangely parental; right after being pulled from the interrogation chair, Deidara had actually buried his face into Kakashi's chest. Perhaps Deidara had forgotten that, simply blocked it out; something too embarrassing for him to remember.
Kakashi continued to watch him. Eventually Deidara closed his eyes. Kakashi thought he was asleep, until he heard Deidara speak again.
"Kakashi."
"Yes?"
"...gonna be sick, un." Deidara turned on his knees and vomited as Kakashi held back his hair.
None of the team complained as they silently packed up the campsite and re-located it thirty yards away.
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TBC
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I'm horrible! I'm evil! I can't help it. I love Deidara but I like to see him all angsting and suffering (And out of character...) *hides in a corner and cries* Forgive me, Deidara...
Also, I finally remembered the Sand Village is called Sunakagure but felt it would be weird to start calling it that now...and too damn lazy to change it...T_T
---------------------------------------------xgangsofasiax ...yep he would have been better off in Konoha :( glad you liked the thing at the end of the last chap :)
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