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Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again	By : PrplGrl Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1209 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

~~Alexander Graham Bell

The Door of Need

There was a door.

It stood before Shikamaru, blocking his path. It was made of very strong, old wood, yet was not aged. He had not been so complicated as some people, opening the door, closing it, just to open it again. When he had opened it, it had stayed open. He liked what was on the other side. It kept him sane. That was why he had not been very happy to be pulled from beyond the door.

The door was slammed shut on him, the doorknob vanishing, and he couldn’t budge it an inch. He pounded, scratched, and kicked at the offending wood. The struggle was long and tiring, but Shikamaru eventually realized that he couldn’t tare it down, nor was there anyone on the other side to open it for him.

He backed off; content to stare at the dented and scratched surface, as if that could help. After a few weeks, he began following the motions he knew he had to follow, but he kept his eye on that door, waiting. He knew his patience would eventually pay off; there would be a time when he looked at that door and would see the glittering of metal. Eventually, the doorknob would return, and he could get back to what he liked best.

Shikamaru was pissed.

No, maybe furious would be the correct term.

He sat at his desk, glaring hotly at the dry erase board across the room, trying his best not to scratch at his arm. He didn’t like the room. He didn’t like the other teenagers surrounding him. He didn’t like it here.

He needed his escape.

Shikamaru wrung his hands together, trying to ease some of the boiling anger and frustration that tore at him. He feared that if he didn’t get what he needed soon, he might go on a rampage. His mind was steadfastly agreeing with him, anything to receive his escape. His muscles twitched in anticipation, hands curing into fists, eyes darkening as he let his needless mind begin taking him over.

“Shikamaru?”

His head snapped up, looking directly at the pale teen who greeted him on his first day. He sighed, pushing his rage down to twist and coil restlessly in the pit of his stomach. “What, Sai?” he nearly growled.

The pale teen only smiled. Nothing seemed to bother him. He got up and pushed his desk against Shikamaru’s. “It’s time for cooperative art,” he said, slipping into his chair, their shoulders almost touching.

Shikamaru fought the urge to move away. Sai was one of those touchy-feely types. He knew he shouldn’t be bothered by it, but since his… capture he hadn’t felt the need to touch anyone. He liked to physically connect as much as anybody, but previous experience taught him that he hadn’t been allowed to here. Touching usually got him beat up.

“How are you liking this place?” Sai suddenly asked, eyes focused on the paper in front of him.

Shikamaru leaned over a bit and saw that he was already halfway finished with a drawing of a tiger. Sai’s talent with art amazed the Nara to no end. His pencil glided against the paper swiftly, drawing faster than he thought was possible, while still having such incredible detail, one could’ve sworn it was a photograph.

“…I don’t like it,” he replied after a few minutes.

Sai paused to look at him a moment, before returning to his work. “Of course you don’t. I don’t think anyone does the first month or two. It takes a while to sink in.” Without further hesitation, the pale teen pushed his finished product to Shikamaru, who looked it over.

For all of Sai’s talent, he never did shading. He had told the Nara once that he didn’t feel his artwork needed it. Shikamaru thought otherwise. Shading brought the pale teen’s pieces of art out of the two-dimensional world, making them look even more breathtaking.

Shikamaru found that he could shade.

He set to work, grabbing the pale teen’s pencil and began lightly rubbing the tip onto the page. He was not nearly as fast as the other, but he thought he did just as good of a job.

A few minutes into it, Shikamaru felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, warmth radiating from his side. He was used to this by now, after three weeks of sitting next to the artist, after he calmed down from the closeness, he expected the touch of the other. What surprised him the most though was that despite Sai’s pale skin, he was actually quite warm.

Shikamaru liked the warmth.

Sai sighed, his breath tickling the Nara’s neck. “I still don’t know how you do that,” he whispered.

Shikamaru ignored him and continued working, being very careful not to make a mistake. It would have been an insult to the other’s work.

When he was almost finished, he had to stop, eyes widening a little as a hand began rubbing his inner thigh. He glared at the pale teen, who was giving him a small smile.

“What?” Sai asked, moving his hand farther up the Nara’s leg. “From what I understand, you should be used to this kind of thing.”

Shikamaru turned away; blush creeping onto his cheeks, his evil glare now attacking the tiger on his desk. “Curious about the rumors are you?” he accused, tone low and deadly.

Hot breath tickled his ear. “I’m curious whether or not the Pleaser can live up to the name.”

His whole body stiffened, eyes growing wide again. He turned to face the pale teen, their noses almost touching. “How do you know that name?” he whispered.

Sai’s only reply was a smile and a small squeeze to his groin.

~ ~ ~

The door was still there. It hadn’t budged.

Shikamaru stood before it again, tired of glancing at it from time to time. He walked up to it, placing his hands against the damaged surface. Why wouldn’t it open for him? His fingers curled into his palms and he slipped to his knees. His body was trembling. His arm kept twitching for the need he was now being denied.

This door was his escape.

‘Open sesame’ hadn’t worked. Begging wasn’t having an effect either.

He pounded on the wood with his fists. Why, why, why?

Why were the people who “loved” him making him beg at a piece of wood? Why couldn’t they see that he’d been better off with Deidara? Why didn’t they notice that he’d chosen not to return? Why did they pull him back?

Why did he want to die?

A few days later found Shikamaru standing before his parents, giving each other a worried glance. The teen sighed and crossed his arms, scowling at them. “Can’t I even leave the house?” he asked, a slight snap in his voice.

“Of course you can,” his father replied, concern floating into his dark gaze as he looked at his son. “We just don’t know….”

“A lot of things can happen at a party, Shikamaru,” his mother interjected.

He scowled harder. He hadn’t done anything even close to hanging out with anybody since he’d been taken from Deidara, which was at least three months ago, if not more. Shikamaru had been having some difficulty grasping time lately.

“I thought you’d want me to socialize,” he shot at them, pleased when they both gave him a shocked look.

“We do want you to socialize,” his mother said, taking a step towards her son. “We just don’t want you to….” ‘…take drugs while you’re away from us,’ although she didn’t use those exact words.

Shikamaru continued to glare. He didn’t pout often, but this was something he wanted to do. He was tired of being cooped up in his room all the time, dealing with his parents who were dead set on “being better than before,” whatever that meant. Who ever said this had been about them?

His father sighed. “Who’s throwing the party?” he asked again.

He closed his eyes, already having answered that question and the ones to follow at least three times. “I told you. Sai, he’s a guy who goes to my school.”

“Where is it?”

Shikamaru rattled off some address the pale teen had told him, not really caring. As long as it was away from here, he didn’t care where he had to go.

“When?”

He sighed again. “Saturday night!” he snapped. “How many times are you going to ask me?”

It was his father’s turn to sigh. He was a little surprised at his father’s patience for him, though. Sometimes his mother would snap back, but his other parent was taking his snappish attitude in stride. “When would you be back?”

“Probably Sunday. Sai said he has a whole list of games and movies lined up.”

His parents looked at each other again. Their looks told him that they were both thinking in the negative fashion and he looked down at his feet. The scowl melted off his face and he dropped one arm to his side, his hand holding onto it. It took quite a bit of restraint to keep from scratching at it. Not looking up, he spoke very softly, tone holding a twinge of begging, “…please?”

It was all an act, after all.

~ ~ ~

He was crying now, he knew it.

He hoped that would work.

It didn’t.

His arm twitched madly, his body quivered with an unfulfilled need. He could hear his voice echo around him, begging and pleading for the door in front of him to open. He didn’t know how much longer he could last. Something had to give, and he prayed it was the door.

He didn’t want to snap.

That would have caused the end of everything.

Which would have been something nobody could pull him back from.

Sai had picked up Shikamaru at his house and proceeded to walk him to the party. He was so glad to be out of there a small smile was plastered on his lips. The pale teen noticed and immediately contributed it to the fact that Shikamaru was out with Sai, and it very closely resembled a date.

He had denied it, but the smile remained, until they rounded a corner and he saw four teenage boys walking toward them. He recognized them, and they appeared to remember him, if the shocked look on their faces was anything to go by.

“Shikamaru?” the blonde one asked, breaking away from his raven-haired boyfriend, who glared at him.

Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha.

Shikamaru was surprised that he remembered their names.

“No way,” a brunette said, also releasing his longhaired, white-eyed boyfriend, whose glare matched the Uchiha’s.

Kiba Inuzuka and Neji Hyuga.

Shikamaru felt his heart drop. He had fallen for the blonde and the dog lover, but Uchiha and Hyuga had beaten him to the punch. Ever since then, the two would give him a pounding any chance they got. Naruto and Kiba had been really good friends of his, but their boyfriends felt threatened by his presence and warned him vocally and physically to stay away.

He didn’t want to remember.

“I thought we’d gotten rid of you,” Sasuke said, walking up to wrap his arm around Naruto’s waist in a very dominant manner.

Kiba glared at Shikamaru. “Yeah, didn’t you become a slut or whore or something?”

Neji smirked as Shikamaru scowled. The Hyuga grabbed his boyfriend’s hips from behind and whispered, “He did, but apparently he came back. You have nothing to worry about, Kiba. He won’t hurt you.”

The Nara closed his eyes. He had beat up the dog lover on one occasion, but he still thought it had been a set up. He usually wasn’t one to listen to rumors, but there was one in particular that pissed him off a lot. It was said that the Inuzuka had been the one to start it. He got suspended for starting a fight on campus.

He didn’t want to remember.

“Okay, guys,” Naruto suddenly voiced, “that’s enough. You’d be pretty messed up, too, if you were taking drugs.”

‘…Thanks, Uzumaki,’ he thought, bitterly.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Sasuke said, also smirking. “Shikamaru became a drug addict.”

“I am not addicted to drugs!!” Shikamaru shouted, looking fiercely at the group.

They took a step back, Sasuke and Neji wrapping protective arms around their shocked boyfriends.

“Easy, druggie,” Neji said.

He was about to shout at the top of his lungs, when Sai suddenly stepped between them.

“Excuse me, do you have the time?” the pale boy asked.

Kiba blinked a moment, before looking down at his watch. “Uh, about quarter to seven.”

“Damn!” Sai exclaimed. “Not nearly enough time to show all of you what a good penis feels like before the party. Oh, well, come on, Shikamaru!” He grabbed the Nara’s hand and pushed passed the shocked group, continuing down the street.

A comfortable silence settled between them and Sai had a very amused smirk on his lips. Shikamaru also smiled a little.

“…Thanks, Sai,” he whispered, squeezing his still clasped hand.

The other chuckled, returning the gesture. “I think they would be less bitchy if they all had a decent dick shoved up their asses.”

He couldn’t have agreed more as the pale teen led him up to a house, at the address he had promised, not that the Nara cared.

The inside was already bustling with people. Shikamaru could smell pizza and soda and even cigarettes. He smiled; maybe he would be able to bum a stick or two.

“I want you to meet someone,” Sai said to him, pulling him up a staircase and into a bedroom. It was obviously the master, as it held one large bed, a couch and a loveseat, and a few lounge chairs. The pale skinned teen tugged Shikamaru over to a dark haired man sitting in one of the chairs, having a light conversation with a redheaded teen beside him.

His first impression was Sasuke, but after looking for a little while, he noticed several little things that definitely were not that irritating Uchiha.

“Hey, Itachi,” Sai said excitedly, gently grabbing the man’s shoulder.

The man turned his dark eyes to the pale teen, gaze slightly hidden by his locks of black hair. “Hello, Sai. How have you been; I haven’t seen you in a long time.” His voice was smooth and calm and almost soothing.

Sai smiled. “I’ve been doing fine. I want you to meet someone,” he motioned to the Nara. “This is Shikamaru. Shikamaru, this is my good friend Itachi.”

The man’s eyes widened a moment, before settling on a very amused expression. “So this is Deidara’s talented entertainer; the Pleaser, was it?”

This time his eyes widened. This man knew Deidara?

Before he could even answer a familiar aroma filled his nostrils. Shikamaru’s eyes dropped to half massed as he inhaled that scent. He missed it, although he was used to heavier stuff, that little leaf had kept him satisfied until his next client.

He wanted to remember that.

A flash of light brought his attention to the door once again. His blood shot eyes widened, his arm twitched, and his body forced him to stand. Without the command from his brain, he reached out for the door one more time….

Itachi smirked at Shikamaru, and reached around to grab the joint the redheaded teen had just lit up. He took a drag from it, before reaching up to pass to the stunned teenager beside Sai. “Care for a hit?” he asked.

The doorknob had returned.

Shikamaru stared at the rolled paper a long moment, watching the smoke rise into the air, filling his nostrils with even more of that heavenly scent.

He needed it.

He needed his escape.

He reached out with a shaky hand and grabbed the joint from the raven-haired man.

The door finally opened.
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Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again