Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

This is my Goodbye	By : Luma Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 881 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
I sincerely apologize for the horridly long wait. I was having a difficult time trying to figure out how to change certain parts of this chapter after giving it to my beta the first time.
Attention Readers: If you would like to be on a mailing list to be notified when I update this story, let me know by leaving your e-mail address in a review.
Title: This is my Goodbye
Author: Dying Dreams
Fandom: Naruto
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome!a
Summary: I pretend that I'm always happy. I pretend so no one sees my pain. I pretend so no one sees what I've become. I pretend because that's all I can do. I pretend because that's all I know how to do.
Dream: I love you all oh so very much!
Itachi: You do?
Dream: Well not you specifically. I meant my readers.
Itachi: Wait so you don't love me anymore?
Dream: Well of course I do. I just love my readers a lot. x3
Itachi: I see. So when is Naruto going to die?
Sasuke: -Glares at aniki-
Dream: -Grins- Like I'ma tell you? Pfft yeah right.
Naruto: -Sits in the corner crying-
Dream: Naru-chan? Naru-chan what's wrong?
Naruto: I don't wanna die!
Dream: -Goes over to Naruto and hugs him- What if next time I kill Sasuke?
Sasuke: Hey!
Naruto: No! I don't want teme to die!
Dream: Ah I apologize for taking so long with this. I was having major issues trying to get it how I wanted.
Itachi: You're fired.
Dream: No I'm not.
Itachi: Yes you are.
Dream:Lies. Warnings and disclaimer! And review responses.
Dream: Oh! Anyone read chapter 399? :o I swear it's all just like... wow.
movethemhands: Heh. n-n I do what I must to achieve my goals. 3 Oh. And I don't do happy endings. 3 Happy endings are for suckers. Okay I might make it a smidgen of happiness, but whatever.
animelover: Oh hell no. Kill me now if anyone else thinks that. Seriously. Please do. I can barely stand Sakura as it is. I would never torture Sasuke with her. That's cruel and unusual punishment even by my standards. She's there for some random reason I never bothered to come up with. It just kind of happened that she was there. The reason why Naruto is dying will be revealed sometime later in the story. I can't tell you guys anything about it. You just get to know that he is. And thank you. nn
Nova: That or it's my natural cruelty kicking in. -shrugs- People who know me generally know I'm not the nicest of people. Sure I can be nice when I want to, but being mean is just so much fun. My beta for Facade has had plenty of experience with that.
anndrageradragonclawz: -Shrugs- I haven't completely decided much yet of what happens after this chapter. I do know a few things for sure though.
Anon: My muse fizzled and died for awhile on this.
kurai:Heh. Well thank you. N-n Hope you enjoy the chapter.
crazygood: But if you die then you won't know what happens. :o
madamdragon: Ah sorry sorry. I was having a few issues getting this right.
Warnings: Eh. None I think. This chapter is unbeta'd though. My beta wasn't on and I didn't feel like waiting for him.
Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever have any real claim of ownership over the original ideas of the series known as Naruto. In no way am I profiting from this writing. -Runs off with Itachi though-
Chapter 2
- - - - - - - - - -
Sasuke stared at the ominous white envelope sitting on his coffee table. He had a bad feeling about this, and wasn't sure what to make of it. Part of him was pushing him to open it and read it, while the other part was telling him to stay away. Stay as far away from it as humanly possible.
Elbows propped on his thighs, he folded his hands together and let his chin fall to rest on the back of his entwined fingers. All the while staring down at the ominously innocent white envelope that stared back at him with it's blank surface. He frowned and gave a sigh of frustration as he let his arms fall, his hands bumping slightly as his forearms fell onto his thighs.
He didn't know nor care how much time had passed since Naruto had given him the letter and promptly disappeared. All that mattered was the fact that the blond had given it to him in the first place, and the part of his mind that was urging him to open the damn thing was slowly but surely overpowering the part telling him to run away. But he knew he couldn't run away. Not from something like this. Perhaps his bad feeling would turn out to be nothing at all, and the letter would be something... good, so to speak. Maybe not, but he could still hope.
Hesitantly, he let his right hand reach forward, lifting off his thigh. Slowly, his arm shaking he extended his hand, fingers stretching out. As he neared it, he suddenly stopped, his hand curling back as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he found the envelope in his hand, bringing it closer to himself.
Slowly, he turned it over, running his left index finger over the wax image of the nine-tailed fox he knew to be sealed within his best friend. He moved his finger into the opening to the side of the seal and swiftly broke it, pulling the flap up. He pushed his fingers inside, grabbed the folded papers and carefully brought them out. He set the envelope down on the table and looked at the folded thing still in his grasp.
He brought his right hand back and unfolded them, smoothing them against his closed thighs, holding it down with one hand at the top,the other at the bottom. He let his eyes rest on his untidily written name at the top of the first sheet, smirking ever-so-slightly at the blond's handwriting. He had to admit. Naruto's kanji had improved over the years. He'd give the dobe that much at least.
But as he began reading the letter, he found his body had completely frozen in place, and despite any effort he found himself unable to move. His only option to continue reading.
'There's something I've been meaning to tell you. But I never knew how to say it. I wanted to tell you I love you, but I don't think I can anymore. I wanted to tell you that I want to be with you always. That I wanted to be the first thing you see when you wake up every morning. But I can't. It hurts when I think about it, but it's true. I can't tell you. I don't want to lose you. Because if I lost you now, I would surely be alone when it happens.'
Sasuke's breathing came heavily as his eyes read every carefully written word, moving slowly from one character to the next. He found himself completely unable to tear his eyes away at the realization that his blond friend did in fact love him, and probably had loved him for years, keeping his feels to himself and suffering alone in his everlasting silence.
'I haven't told anyone yet.
But...
I think... I think I'm dying.'
Sasuke stopped and stared at that single line. He... was... what? He... that couldn't be. No! It wasn't true! Naruto wasn't fucking dying! This was some sort of sick joke! Someone must have written this shit, turned themselves into Naruto and given this to him. Naruto couldn't die. Naruto couldn't leave him. He couldn't... he couldn't do this. It just wasn't possible. Some horrible lie... that's what it was... It just had to be... right?
“No,” Sasuke whispered as he felt that unfamiliar yet familiar stinging sensation forming at the corners of his eyes.
'Everything about me that you thought you knew, has always been wrong. I'm not who you and the others think I am. I never was, and I never can be. This is me. The one who hides his true self from the world for fear of being broken again and again because he can't take all the pain.'
Pain. Sasuke knew that if there was anyone that understood pain it had to be Naruto, but he had never believed it was this. He had always seen and believed the lies Naruto created, showing them who he was not. He hated this. All of this. He hated that he had this letter, and he hated that he had to read it. Naruto was leaving him. He was being left behind again. It was cruel. Why did it have to be this way
Sasuke could feel something forming in his eye as his gaze moved along the dark line traveling nearly to the top of the page, and finding every smudged character where Naruto's tears must have dripped onto them as he sat at his table, carefully writing this letter to the Uchiha sitting on a couch, feeling empty inside as he read the words of his idiot friend.
'I wish I could have trusted you enough to let you see the real me, but I was afraid. I was afraid of being hurt by the one I held closest to my heart. I've been walking on glass with a fragile heart for as long as I can remember, and I know I've always been this way.'
He couldn't... he couldn't read this anymore... he didn't want to continue. All it seemed to be was Naruto's long goodbye. He didn't know if he would see him again before he was gone forever. The words seemed to blur together as he stared at them, the tears pooling in his eyes. The single thought of 'Naruto is going to die,' constantly ran through his mind. He couldn't stop it. His Naruto was going to leave him.
'I'm sorry. I want to tell you all of this myself, but I don't think I can. I think if I did, I might break. It hurts to think about it. To know that I'm so weak even after I went to the effort of getting you back after everything that happened. You leaving. Orochimaru's death. Itachi's death. The downfall of the Akatsuki.
So even if I die, it's okay in the end. Akatsuki was never able to get their hands on me, and the council can finally be appeased. It's what they've always wanted. It's what everyone always wanted. The death of the demon. So it's a win-win situation, you know? Everybody wins. Well, I'd like to think so anyways. I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think I really care anyways. So it's okay'
“No!” Sasuke hissed, feeling the tears slowly dripping down his pale face. “You idiot! How can you possibly think this is okay?! How can you tell me these things?! Why can't you understand that... that I...” he trailed off, his eyes closing tightly as he forced himself to not say what he felt aloud. No one was there to hear him, but he could not say it aloud. Never could he do that. Not now. It hurt to much to try.
'But I just want you to be happy, Sasuke. I really do. And I want to think that you'll be better off without me. I don't deserve you anyways. You're so much better than I am. I shouldn't say it, but it's true. And it's ok for me to admit this. I don't mind. Really. I mean it. Please believe me.
So until I go, which I don't think will be to long from the time you receive this, I will continue to play my game of make believe. I don't want anyone to worry about me. I'm not worth it anyways. The demon child doesn't need anyone to love him. I can love you, but it's ok if you don't love me back. As long as you're happy, then, I think I'll be ok. So please. Don't worry about someone as worthless as me. Just... be happy.
That's all I want.
That's all I need.
If the last thing I can see before I go is you, then I can for once in my life be truly happy. I can't explain what I mean.
But I do mean it.
Because it's only you I truly care for.
It's only you, that I will ever love.
With all my love,
Naruto'
Sasuke sat in silence for what felt like the longest time, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to do anything. His mind suddenly came crashing back as it all caught up with him.
“He doesn't have much time left,” he whispered, his eyes widening in realization. The papers slipped from his shaking fingers as he jerked to his feet. “He can't mean that.”
Sasuke pivoted on his heel and threw himself over the back of the couch in his haste to get to the door. He hastily pulled on his shoes, wrenched the door open and bolted outside, stumbling and nearly tripping as he went. He tried to search for the blond's chakra to find him, but frowned and growled in frustration when he realized the attempt was fruitless.
As he reached the end of the long street, he slowed only enough to push open the gate, taking immediately to the rooftops upon exiting the Uchiha district. He move as fast as he could towards the blond's apartment, wishing and hoping he would be there.
He dropped onto the building next to Naruto's own apartment building, staring from the rooftop a floor above down to where he knew the blond's small home to be. Looking through the bedroom window, he found no sign of him. He stepped to the ledge and jumped across to the window to the room, sticking to the wall with his chakra. He reached his right hand over and pushed open the unlocked window, slipping quietly into the room.
He found it unnerving that the usually messy apartment was miraculously clean. The last few visits he'd made, there had always been some dirty clothes on the floor and a few empty ramen cups thrown carelessly on the floor. This harshly brought home the fact that he might be losing his dobe.
He wrenched open the bedroom door and silently moved down the hallway, not sensing the blond's presence anywhere inside the small apartment. Gglancing at the kitchen table, he found the items Naruto must have used littered across its surface.
Blank sheets of paper in a neat pile at one end, a pen lying near it, a candle long since extinguished, a stick of wax lying next to it and what appeared to be a wooden handle a few inches away. He moved towards the table, his hand already reaching out to grab it. the wooden handle in his hand, he turned it and gazed down at the engraved image of the nine-tailed demon in the metal end. He set it down and lifted his head, eyes looking to the small connected living area that consisted of a two-person couch, a few chairs badly in need of repair, a television, and a bookshelf stuffed full of papers, scrolls and books.
He turned his head and looked out through the kitchen window up at the nearly cloudless sky, one thought running through his mind.
“Where are you, dobe?”
TBC...
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

This is my Goodbye