Hollow Sky

Naruto went slowly to his bathroom, leaving the raven haired boy behind. In his mind he recalled Sasuke’s words. He suggested this date as if he just answered a simple mathematical problem. It obviously didn’t mean anything to him.

Naruto almost snorted at his thoughts. ‘As if this bastard would give a fuck about anything! I’m sure he would maintain that stoic expression even if he were aflame.’

He reached for the door to open it when he heard someone calling his name.

“Naru~chan” the dark voice cooed from his living room. “What do you want, bastard?” Naruto grind his teeth by the sound of Sasuke’s voice. “Don’t forget to change your clothes! I don’t want to see you in that orange jacket!” The blond twitched as he felt his anger rise. ‘Bastard! Bastard! Bastard!’ Naruto had killed Sasuke over 500 times in his mind by then. He thought about the consequences if he killed the Uchiha. He contemplated the pros and cons and recognized that it wouldn’t be good if he killed Sasuke. The raven haired boy was way too popular and killing him would mean to be killed in many nasty ways, being revived only to be killed over and over again.

Naruto gulped at the thought of the fate he would have to face then and snarled.

He opened to door to his bathroom and looked around. The cutter was still at the same place. He swiftly grabbed it and walked to his bedroom where he now stood in front of his closet and thought about which clothes he should wear. ‘As long as it has a pocket everything should be fine.’

The blond sifted through his closet for awhile before he took out a black shirt and a pair of camouflage trousers.

However he still needed something to cover his injured arms. ‘Of course it’s my fault,’ he thought as he looked at his arms ‘I wouldn’t need a jacket if I hadn’t done this.’ It was the price he had to pay now.

His jacket wouldn’t only cover his wounds but also his own weakness. The blond was perfectly aware of the things he has done but, however, it wasn’t anything he could stop or control. The moments when he cuts himself were precious to him although he wouldn’t remember them at all afterwards.

And still, those moments gave him peace. His mind could feel at ease with every crimson line because it meant that he had tried to expel the Kyuubi.

Actually that was his main reason for cutting himself.

Of course, he wasn’t the Kyuubi. The demon was only sealed inside of him. But Naruto didn’t know how much of his whole being was occupied by the Kyuubi. On the other hand, the nine-tailed fox demon was him. There wasn’t any other possibility. The whole demon was trapped inside of the blond boy. Therefore the Kyuubi couldn’t do anything without using the youth. Their both existence was bond to the other one, it was similar to a symbiosis.

Naruto needed the Kyuubi to gather strength, the strength he needed to survive and to make his dreams come true.

But lately the blond felt that it would have been better if the Kyuubi had never been sealed inside of him.
If the Kyuubi had never attacked the village, it wouldn’t have to be sealed in him. Then he would have been able to live a normal life.
“A normal life…” Naruto muttered while he was gazing at his arms.
Somewhere in his mind he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of the fox demon like this but it was way too late to change anything. He was already falling into the sweetness of numbness.

Even if he wasn’t able to expel his demon, he would be able to choose his memories. It didn’t matter to him whether it was only for one second.
The scars that remained reminded him of this sweetness and promised him that he wouldn’t feel anything anymore very soon. He wouldn’t be hurt ever again.
His eyes became glaze at the mere thought of soon being completely numb.

“Naruto!” The blond jumped in surprise “What the heck are you doing? Haven’t you changed by now?! Lame!” Sasuke paused before he decided to tease his dobe a little bit more (it was funny to see his reactions) “Or… Do you want me to help you strip?” Naruto froze upon hearing these words. Sasuke smirked only in response. Unfortunately for the raven haired boy he couldn’t see the dumbfounded face Naruto made. The blond didn’t turn around to face Sasuke to show him either. Instead he ordered “Get out! This is my bedroom!”
“Hn” was all the raven replied and went out of the room. He had plenty of time to tease the blond idiot, so there was no need to hurry.

In the meantime Naruto changed his clothes and put the cutter he brought with him into his black jacket.

Upon seeing his most precious regular costumer, Ichiraku did an awkward happy dance. The blond boy was indeed his best costumer. He knew Naruto well, like everyone in the small Ramen shop, so he took a deep breath and announced Naruto’s approach. He surely didn’t want the whiskered boy to wait for his 25 bowls of Ramen.

Naruto saw (and heard) the commotion inside the small restaurant. They expected him to eat Ramen although he had had a truck load of Ramen already, so he wasn’t hungry at all.

Hell, he only used this as an excuse to get rid of the Uchiha! How should he had known that the raven haired boy offered him to treat him to Ramen? Furthermore that this bastard suggested a date!

Once inside the Ramen-ya, both, Sasuke and Naruto, were asked what they would like to eat. Obviously the owner knew the answer, well at least Naruto’s, because he had prepared some bowls of various Ramen.

Sasuke ordered Miso Soup while Naruto chose a bowl of Shôyu Ramen with Chashu and Nori. Sure, Naruto wasn’t hungry but he didn’t want anyone to suspect him because he wouldn’t eat anything either, so he sat down and waited for his bowl of Ramen.

“Here you are” said the older man with a smile on his face.

Naruto looked at the bowl in front of him for a while. “It won’t bite, dobe! Eat it! It’s my treat, remember?” Sasuke stated.

The blond barely heard him. He was too caught in his thoughts. Memories invaded his mind, causing Naruto to wince at the pain that was starting to form in his head. The throbbing pain was solely in the right side of his head which made the youth wish he could strike his head against a wall.

Sasuke noticed Naruto’s pain but decided to observe him a little more. The blond had been acting strange lately and he hoped he could find an answer to his behaviour by watching him.

Meanwhile Naruto realized that his hand was trembling. He knew this sign too well. He opened and closed his hand like he would restart the blood circulation.

“Umm… You know, Sasuke… I’ll be right back. It’s just… you know…” Naruto stuttered “Just say it, damn it!” the raven haired boy growled, irritated by Naruto’s stutter. “I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!” and then the pale youth only saw a blond tornado running past him.

‘Dobe, what’s wrong with you?’ Sasuke heard himself saying to the blond in his mind, but didn’t say those words out loud, instead he remained silent as he watched the door to the bathroom open and close and the dobe disappearing into the room.

‘I’ll find out what’s bothering you, dobe, and I swear I’ll destroy it. You’re much weaker than I am. It hurts to see your fragile figure suffering from pain. I can’t afford to lose you to this pain.’ Sasuke’s eyes were settled on the bathroom door ‘I’ll protect you. That’s a vow for eternity.’ After he had sworn eternal loyalty to Naruto, he stood up and followed Naruto into the bathroom.

Naruto leaned over washbasin, facing himself in the mirror before him.
He noticed that one of his wound has reopened as some blood dripped down his arm into the washbasin. However the blond didn’t care.

Usually his wounds would heal immediately but because he wanted to get rid of the Kyuubi by hurting himself, the Kyuubi wasn’t able to heal him.

Naruto forbade the Kyuubi to heal him since this was so much more than just some injuries. It was a request for being free, the wish for something that would last, and the futile scream to forget everything.

“One day…” he muttered to his mirror image before he continued to speak those words in his mind.

‘One day I won’t feel anything anymore. I’ll truly become numb.’

Upon realizing that his hand was still trembling he decided to go into a stall behind him.

Once inside he started to look for his cutter by rummaging through his jacket.
‘Found it’ he exhaled as he closed his eyes to feel the sharp blade tearing his skin apart.

I knew something was wrong with the idiot when I decided to follow him into the bathroom. I couldn’t see him anywhere in the small room so I assumed he was in one of the stalls. Let’s see, there are two stalls and only one is occupied. ‘He must be in there.’ I thought as I headed to the other, not occupied, stall.

‘Let’s see what you’re doing, dobe.’ I climbed on the toilet to see beyond the partition that parted the two stalls from each other. I leaned over the partition to see Naruto in the other stall. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. The idiot was cutting himself! I didn’t know what to do when I saw blood dripping into the toilet. I just wanted to throw the cutter away from my blond and smash it into tiny pieces for hurting him. But obviously that wouldn’t change anything. It wasn’t the blade that hurt Naruto, it was Naruto himself!

I decided to announce my presence by a loud cough so he would stop his actions for once. He looked up to me terrified and hid his arms behind his back while he himself tried to hide in a corner of the stall.

I looked at him worriedly for a second before I contemplated whether it would be wise to ask him bluntly what the fuck he had just done. ‘I want to help him. I want to protect him.’ I thought to myself before I made my decision. I wouldn’t be able to help Naruto if he didn’t trust me. ‘He would surely avoid me if I tell him that I know he’s cutting himself. In that case he would never trust me again.’

I decided it was about time to break the silence between us
“You haven’t taken off your pants yet? Lame!”

When he heard that he blinked at me… once… twice, and I could see he was wrecking his mind by contemplating my words.

I jumped over the partition into his stall and stood right in front of him. He finally seemed to understand my words because his eyes narrowed and he hissed menacingly “You– You have 10 seconds to get out of here otherwise…–” he paused “… I’ll shove your beaten up head into a trash can and you can roll down the highway while jerking off for all I care! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO PEEP ON ME!!!”

I’m quite shocked by his words but I soon put myself together again. I leaned forward so our faces were only centimetres away from each other.
“You know…” I said as I looked into his sky blue eyes “…A blue sky isn’t meant to be clouded. Its colour is meant to be eternal. The sky’s colour creates an eternal and deep space, one to guide you even when you are lost within the sky.” I kissed both of his closed eyes gently before I continued “Don’t let your eyes be clouded.”

I turned away from him as I got out of the stall. ‘You’ve already drawn me inside that space and I will make sure you’re guided through it with me. Even if you can’t get through it by yourself, I’ll make sure you are guided.’ I thought as I left him behind dumbfounded.

The last thing I heard was Naruto shouting a loud “PERVERT!!!” after me and I smiled lightly to myself.

Sasuke: What the fuck?

Meian : Err…?

Sasuke: What was that supposed to mean?

Meian : Short: That you’ll protect him.

Naruto: Then why the heck didn’t you just write that?

Meian : Most likely because I really like philosophy.