Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Researching	By : shadeoftroll Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1377 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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From the mouths of children.... *shivers* Beware folks...

******* Chapter 3 ******

Jiraiya was a bit baffled with it. He
had been so sure that he had Iruka in his little knap-sack and now he was
leaving?? Something was wrong. Very wrong.

He was Jiraiya-sama, the great toad
master, the trainer of the Yondaime and the inventor of the Rasengan. Women
loved him, women adored him (especially for his good looks and beautiful
hair...) Women would do anything for him if he wanted them to.

And this little cock-loving princess was
walking out of him?? No, no, no�

�Hey, snuggle-bunny-boy, get back
here!!!� He yelled with dark voice not wanting to sound too desperate.

From the bushes he heard a chuckling
sound and Anko and Kurenai stood up.

�Trust me toad-man, that will NOT get
him back,� Anko cackled as she held her stomach.

�But he�s mine� I want� to fuck him��
Jiraiya wailed.

�Well, perhaps we can strike some form
of deal, Jiraiya-sama?� Kurenai smirked as she used her finger to get the old
man to come closer.

Anko was sure in on it and seconds later
there was a trio standing in the glade, whispering about plans for how Jiraiya
would bed the little cock-loving Iruka-hime.

**********

Iruka took a deep breath as he neared
the class room. He looked at his watch and saw that he was right on time.
�There, there� just a few more deep breaths and you�re as good as new.�

And just as he was to enter the
classroom he felt someone run into his back. He turned around and saw Udon
sitting on his butt. The young boy corrected his glasses and looked up.

�S-sorry Iruka-sensei,� he mumbled and
got up.

�No harm done, Udon-kun, just get
inside, the class starts now.�

Iruka saw the boy run inside and he
smiled as he followed. He put his papers on the desk and cleared his throat and
was just about to start on how shuriken could be used as a weapon when Udon
spoke from the back of the class.

�Iruka-sensei� did you know that your
bottom smells like flowers?�

�That�s because he�s a uke,� Moegi said
knowingly.

�Oh yeah,� sniffled Udon. �I forgot.�

�Bweh?!� was the exact utterance the
chuunin used.

Konohamaru nodded to the rest of the
class. �Yeah, we heard Kakashi and Genma and some other jounins talking about
how sensei�s butt probably smells like flowers because he�s a uke.�

The class �ooh-ed� and �aww-ed� at the
fact that they had been able to listen in on some top shinobi�s discussing
secret things.

Iruka was slowly going faint as all the
blood rushed to his cheeks at an alarming rate.

�They also said that Iruka-sensei
probably poops frozen strawberry yogurt with sprinkles,� Konohamaru continued.
�And they wanted to follow him around with ice cream cones.�

The small man sat down before he
hyperventilated and fell down.

�First�kill all jounins�then�destroy
all the Icha Icha collections,� the brunette
thought vehemently.

The rest of his class time went
unhindered and without interruption, except for the one event where Konohamaru
tried to sniff Iruka�s butt. He was thoroughly spanked for that little stunt and
in the late afternoon, the chuunin was on his way to the mission�s office for
another molesting-filled afternoon.

The first thing he did though was make a
trip into the bathroom to clean his crack. The lube was going to stain his pants
if he let it drip anymore. Oh god, he did smell like flowers. Rose
blossoms if he wasn�t mistaken. He washed himself as quickly as he could and
left for his desk, sighing at the large amount of paperwork, quadrupled since he
had taken on Shizune�s duties.

Iruka was barely into his shift before
it hit him.

He hadn�t been groped yet.

That alone was scary. But what made it
more unnerving was that no one was giving him suggestive glances or whispering
dirty things in his ear.

Had the Sexual Harassment seminar actual
worked?!

It was tested a little while later.

When he was walking back into the
mission�s office after making some more copies of reports to go out, he
accidentally dropped them. The school teacher gave an exasperated sigh and bent
over to retrieve the wayward files. When he stood back up, he noted that�.eerily
enough, no one had spanked him, and there was no giggling and lecherous
whispering.

Honestly it was creeping Iruka out.

Something was very wrong. Genma was
standing with his back turned, refusing to look at the Chuunin. Kakashi, well
the scarecrow pervert was nowhere to be found. Raido came in left a few papers
and disappeared just as quickly.

�I don�t know what happened but for
once I�m grateful for not getting molested. Perhaps I can get some work done
now,� he thought as he began to sort through the
files, reports and other kind of papers that was littered across his desk.

********

A week later Iruka had managed to catch
up with all the paperwork and gods be blessed � Shizune was back from her
vacation. Now he could relax a bit. He was still very confused, worried, even
freaked out, by the fact that everyone that earlier had pawed, groped and tried
to steal kisses from him suddenly stopped doing just that.

The children in class had stopped
teasing Iruka about his uke-ness and flower smelly ass since he had a marathon
of all spankings one afternoon which left nobody without a red bottom. Nobody
made a fool out of Iruka and got away with it.

The teacher couldn�t shake the thought
that something was going on behind his back. Something lurking in the shadows,
something that threatens to blow out of proportions the more time went by. He
hated this feeling of not knowing. He really hated it.

He shook his shoulders and headed for
the Ichiraku�s ramen stand. A big bowl of ramen would do him some good. But
before Iruka had reached the place he was flanked by two smirking females.

�Anko-san, Kurenai-san, w-what�s the meaning of this?� he stuttered red in the
face as they grabbed hold of his arms.

�You�re coming with us today. And don�t
try and get out of this saying you have too much to do because we know that you
don�t,� Kurenai purred like a kitten when the teacher tried to get out of their
grasp but they held him tight.

�And why would I go with you two kinky
voyeurs?� Iruka spat.

Anko pouted and then grinned roguishly.

�Now that�s not the way to talk to us
after all we�ve done for you,� the snake woman said and licked her red lips with
her freakishly long tongue.

Iruka stiffened and looked suspiciously
at Anko and then at Kurenai.

�What?� he snarled.

�Well, haven�t you noticed something
these past few days, this last week perhaps? Something that was before but isn�t
anymore? Hmmm?� Anko said grinning.

�What have you done?� Iruka demanded.

�We�ve taken you off the market
Iru-chan,� Kurenai said with a maddening grin.

�You what?�

Anko jerked him by the ponytail so that
he had no choice but to follow. �We took you off the market. As in: We told
everyone Jiraiya was your soon-to-be husband.�

The chuunin balked and gaped
soundlessly.

Husband?!

That fat pervert?! It was one thing to
sleep with the man, but it was something entirely different to make a lifetime
commitment to him. Iruka didn�t even think he liked Jiraiya that much. He
was�pervy, and chubby (though he couldn�t really list that as a reason, he
had slept with Asuma), and he didn�t brush his hair, and he drank too much,
and�and�well he liked frogs, and he wrote porn, and the smaller man couldn�t
stand the way the sage hit on women.

It was disrespectful and if they were
ever going to have a stable relationship, then the sannin would have to stop
that.

Plus Jiraiya didn�t exactly seem like
the type that would want to buy a nice house somewhere out of town and settle
down and raise a family. Because if they were getting married, Iruka would want
to adopt a few kids. Maybe just nine or fifteen for starters. And the toad
pervert was too old to start a family and his life was too dangerous.

The chuunin was a care-giving type. He
wanted a family man, not a lecher that would no doubt provide great sex. And
could Jiraiya even raise children? Did he have morals? Did he even like
children? From what the chuunin had seen with his interaction with Naruto, the
answers were: maybe, some, and well�he liked to hit them.

Obviously this was something Iruka
wouldn�t stand for.

�You�ve really gotta stop zoning out and
letting your inner monologue be heard past your skull,� Anko said lazily as she
chewed her nail.

When had they gotten into the
bathhouse?!

Iruka blinked and looked around. He was
naked, they were naked, all of them were in the water, and more women were
there�maybe he really did need to stop spacing out so much.

�Doll face,� Kurenai said sweetly,
pulling the chuunin�s head to lie on her breasts. �You always over think things
you know.�

�But he is fat,� Anko said scooting
closer. �And you forgot to list his wart.�

�I�m more concerned with his hair,�
Iruka admitted. �It has so many tangles in it. I just want�to tackle him, knock
him out, and take him to a hair salon.�

Anko let out a hiss and made a really
evil face.

�That can be arranged if that it�s all
you really are strung up about,� the snake charmer said and frowned when she
realized that she really needed to stop biting her nails. It was such a nasty
habit. A habit she picked up from Kabuto the little lizard boy.

The other women in the pool moved closer
to listen in on their conversation. Iruka was going to marry the great sannin?
�Tizzle-tazzle� they whispered, gossiping about what the sweet teacher would
wear at such a wedding and what would the old legendary ninja wear, how they
would spend their wedding night.

Iruka slipped into the water, all the
way up to his nose and he began blowing bubbles. Ohh, the humiliation. This was
not part of his plans.

But Anko and Kurenai didn�t respond much
to his mumblings about being used as a doll in a doll house.

�You�re our friend Iruka, we just want
you to be happy and of course toad-man is the best man for you. Just look how
his name alone make the days easier for you,� Kurenai spoke and dragged her red
painted fingers through Iruka�s dark hair. �Since we spread the word that he was
your fianc� nobody has bothered you, so don�t look so gloom. You two will have a
perfect life together.�

She got a black look from Iruka.

�And just think of how cute you two are
together,� Anko beamed and remembered the �almost-fuck-in-the-glade�, oh how she
had wanted them to get it on right there, but alas, bitchy Iruka just had to
make an appearance and stomp off.

**********

What had he done? This would mean the
end of his researching; it would be the end of Icha Icha Paradise. Jiraiya was
pulling his hair as thought about the deal he had struck with the two she-devils
from hell.

In order to get inside the cute little
teacher�s pants he had made a deal with Anko and Kurenai. They had made him
promise to make sure that nobody but him would have access to that tanned
tightness. And in order to make that happened there was only one thing to do �
marry the princess.

And he had promised that plus he had
promised them both copies of his novels, signed by him, before the books hit the
stores. Horny as he had been at the time he had promised them that. He only
wanted to pound Iruka into the ground, or floor or bed or against wall,
anything. And so his, Anko and Kurenai had sealed the deal in blood.

And thus the two witches would help the
toad get his princess.

What he hadn�t counted on was Iruka
actually agreeing to it.

What could the chuunin see in him?! He
was a pervert, a lecher, sure he taught the adorable sensei�s former student�but
badly! There wasn�t a day that went by that the toad sage didn�t want to
strangle the blonde brat.

Oh Gods.

What if Iruka wanted kids?!

Jiraiya couldn�t handle that! He could
barely stand one kid! He hated children! They got in the way of sex! Oh�sex�mmm.
His thought process took a leap off a cliff and he tumbled down into the
fantasies of his little screaming princess writhing under him and crying out his
name again and again in ecstasy.

Gamabunta rolled his great eyes. �You
idiot man! Pay attention!�

The toad sage fell over at the sound of
the loud voice booming in his face. He had run to the forest where he and Naruto
had first begun to train and summoned his oldest friend for help. Except the
sannin had a rather short attention span and couldn�t hold a steady
conversation. Or listen to someone talk at him for long periods of time.

Uh-oh. That was already a problem. Iruka
was strict. He had fun, but only when it was appropriate. Which seemed odd to
Jiraiya, because �fun� wasn�t a time to be decreed, it just happened. The
smaller man took his work seriously and had the perpetual stick up his ass.

Mmm�maybe he�d be better off with
Jiraiya�s stick up his ass.

�IDIOT!!!� Gamabunta roared, whipping
out his tongue and slapping the human across a wide lake.

The sage looked like a windmill as he
churned his arms and legs mid-fall. �You know I can�t swim!�

The monstrous toad boss heaved a sigh
and spat his tongue out to catch the wailing man before he hit the water.
Jiraiya was tossed onto the ground and was rubbing sticky slobber off of his
clothing when the mighty summons bent down to his level.

�I have never known you to love another
as much as you love yourself Jiraiya,� his great voice boomed. �For that reason
alone, you should not take on a mate.�

The sannin faked a look of hurt. �Me?!
Why, I�ve always cared for the good of others above myself!�

Gamabunta narrowed his eyes and clicked
his large pipe, blowing a ring of smoke. �You are a selfish lecher who would do
more harm than good to another. You think with your puny human cock more than
your brain. You would only hurt your female.�

�Male,� Jiraiya corrected absently,
staring over the vast woods.

The toad snorted, �A male would be even
less suitable. Women carry grudges. Men cut off body parts.�

The sage winced and stuck his hands
between his thighs. �You�re probably right old friend.�

Jiraiya sighed and crossed his arms.
�Iruka-sensei is a kind man. Anal, but kind. He�s also too stubborn and bitchy.
Sure he has a great ass, but it�s hardly worth the yelling and potential cutting
of certain things. He could do better than me without trying. I was foolish
Gamabunta, thank you for opening my eyes.�

The toad heaved a great sigh that almost
knocked the jounin over. �You love-struck fool! How long have you even known
him?! Who falls for someone that quickly?!�

The sannin covered his ears and
whimpered. �I blame Naruto! That boy is always talking about Iru-hime! It�s
hardly my fault!�

Gamabunta rolled his eyes. This was
getting old really fast. The giant toad grumped and took a deep drag from his
pipe. Jiraiya was in love with that man. Iru-hime�. Never had Gamabunta seen
such devotion from his friend before. The man was practically a wreck.

�I need to get out of here, I know I can
travel to the Rice country, they sure had some good women there and then I can
move to Stone and find a good place to stay until all this has blown over� yes,
yes� I can do that�� Jiraiya licked his lips and his hands rubbed together as he
planned his escape.

The giant frog just shook his head. His
old friend was in denial. Jiraiya could say he hated children but he sure loved
that blonde hurricane-boy. And that kid had earned Gamabunta�s respect too. And
if this Iruka was anything like Jiraiya had described him, yes, the teacher
would probably love to have a lot of children around him. And Jiraiya would
climb the walls but if he loved Iruka he would and could handle it. The frog was
sure of it. And thus he would give the sannin a little push and that came in the
form of a few chosen words.

�I would never have pegged the great
Jiraiya to be a coward,� he said and took another blow from his pipe.

T B C
*************
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