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Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn�t
belong to me and I will be making no money from this story. This is simply a
work of fiction by a fan.
Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaraNaruto, plus
others
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, mpreg OOC, language, Naruto�s POV
A/N: Sorry about not posting the next chapter last week
before I left for the holidays but I wasn�t happy with
it. I�m not completely happy with this chapter but it�s
done. I also want to thank all the people who review. It helps me see what is
working and what is not.

Hidden Heartache

Chapter 3

The sound of footsteps across the room forced me to sit up
and turn towards the disturbance. I felt someone�s presence by the door. If
closing my eyes and pretending to sleep would be enough to send the person away,
I might have done it. I�m not a coward, but I dreaded seeing
someone else in my room and until the moment I saw the person, then it was part
of an overactive imagination and not real. I forced myself to look, confirming
my fear. The moonlight shone through the window, filling the room with a soft light.
My eyes widened the moment I saw Sasuke standing in
the doorway, looking down at me from across the room.

�Sasuke, what the hell are you
doing here?� I asked.

He stood there and said nothing as he watched me fidget. I
swallowed and considered saying something else, but he spoke before I had a
chance. �We didn�t finish our talk,� he said in a low voice.

�Yes we did,� I insisted, pushing my legs over the side of
the bed and stood.

Sasuke pushed me back down and I
fell on my rear. �Bastard, what are you doing?� I asked.

�I wanted to see you,� he said.

�It�s the middle of the night,� I responded, sweet formed on
my skin and my heartbeat faster. His clean fresh smell filled me and my body
reacted to his presence. Sasuke and I were alone in
the middle of the night by my bed; my body trembled at the thought.

�Are you sure your not sick?� he asked closing the space
between us, but I leaned back on my elbows, slightly propped up, trying to keep
a safe distance. He put his palms down on each side of my shoulder to support
his weight. His eyes met mine, �you�re sweating all over.�

�I�.� but no other words came. I closed my eyes against the
intensity of his gaze. He leaned forward touching his forehead to mine and I
bit my lip to suppress a moan. The hardness between my legs increased. I wanted
to touch it and relieve the tension, but I couldn�t.

He pulled back, �What�s wrong Naruto?�
he asked, but the look in his eyes told me he knew exactly what was wrong. He
leaned forward again and bought his mouth close to my ear, �you�re hot,� he
said.

I moved my head back, laying it flat on the bed. My knees were still bent over the edge and I looked up at him. My
heart beat faster. He looked up and down my body before stopping at the bulge
in my pajama pants.

�I can see the problem now,� he said. His hands started to caress
my body. He leaned down and touched his soft lips to mine. I resisted his first
kiss and embraced his second one. Our tongues fought for dominance. His
forceful desire left me submitting under him. Slowly, my nightshirt buttons were
undone one by one. The shirt fell open exposing my chest. He pushed it off my
shoulders, placing small kisses down my neck towards my shoulder. I grabbed
onto the bed, pulling the sheets so they bunched in my hands. His lips moved
down towards my chest. I gasped when they lightly touched a nipple. He moved
his hand to the other one, rubbing it with his fingers before gently pinching
it. I needed and wanted more. My voice, slightly pleading, called out his name.
Sasuke let go of his assault on my nipples and moved
towards my lips. I eagerly lifted my head up to meet his. Our lips met and our tongues
played with each other. When our kiss broke and Sasuke
moved along my check, kissing and sucking, and then little by little, he moved
down to my neck, where he licked and softly sucked. Steadily he continued down,
until he reached my nipples again and started to tease them, but not as gentle
as before. My back lifted off the bed and I moved my hand towards my mouth to prevent
any sounds from escaping. Sasuke moved to my ear and
whispered in a husky voice, �Let me hear you.� He gently pushed my hand away
and I nodded. My eyes met his and my body wanted everything he had to offer.

My hand moved to stroke the uncomfortable hardness between
my legs, but before I could relieve the ache, Sasuke
grabbed my wrist, brought my fingertips to his mouth, and gently started to
suck. I imagined those lips around my cock and quivered with desire. �Don�t
touch,� Sasuke ordered. I nodded eager for him to
continue. His hands eased down to my thighs, caressing them. He carefully
avoided the area that needed the most attention, and moved to the waistband of
my pants, tugging them down and off my body, exposing my erection. I looked up
at him, completely naked, and started to caress his body. My fingertips gently touched
his chest, and moved towards his shoulders, and then down his long arms to his
wrists and I grabbed them, pulling his hands towards my aching cock. My hips
bucked up, he smiled, and wrapped his fingers around my cock, sliding towards
the base, and squeezed. I gasped as he continued to play, moving his hand up
and down in a slow steady movement.

I cried out and pushed my hips up to get more friction, but Sasuke�s strong hands held me down. I moaned and he showed
pity and moved his mouth above the hard tip, looking directly into my eyes, as he
lowered his mouth and licked my cock. I needed more and begged him to go on,
but he continued his torture and lightly licked the area. He gave no warning,
engulfed my cock, and started to move his mouth up and down. My body tingled
all over, as I leaned back, closing my eyes. His head bobbed up and down,
sucking the tip and then he moved his hand below his mouth and started to stroke
and squeeze my balls. My body was on the verge of
exploding. I moaned and bucked up eager for release. My body got hotter and
hotter, as Sasuke�s mouth picked up speed. His
fingers started to trace the crack of my rear end, before squeezing the cheeks
and teasing the hole. My eyes closed, but I gasped when one finger slide
inside. My hips bucked up as my body exploded. When I opened my eyes, the room was empty with
no sigh of Sasuke. The alarm buzzed, my pajamas were
on, and inside my pants sticky. Another dream I thought, pushing the blanket
aside and slowly walking towards the bathroom and a cold morning shower.

Breakfast consisted of the usual an instant ramen cup and
slightly stale milk. It�s not the first time I�ve had
less than fresh milk, so I�m use to it. I keep shopping down to a minimum.
Going out in public can be painful. Some people stare, while others �unintentionally�
bump into me, usually hard enough to push me down. When I enter a store, the reaction is mixed,
but not in a positive way. In the closest store to my apartment, the wife
follows me around like a thief, saying hateful things just loud enough for me
to hear, and the husband puts bread and damageable items at the bottom but
remembers his duty as a shopkeeper and thanks me on the way out. Therefore, to
sum it up, one shopkeeper openly expresses her hatred and the other pretends he�s not doing it while he destroys my products. As for me, I
pretend not to notice and ramble on to anyone in earshot range about dinner or
the products.

That morning my alarm rang earlier than usual, which I�m grateful for since it stopped the dream, but I set it
not to be late again. I ate my breakfast
in less than five minutes and in three minutes; I cleaned my mess, grabbed my pack
and ran out the door.

The sun started to peak over the horizon and filled the air
with little light, but very few people are out this early, leaving the streets
quiet and peaceful, so I didn�t meet the usual
contempt and easily walked towards the meeting area. To my surprise and delight,
I arrived first. I sat down with my back against the tree, and closed my eyes.
The rustling in the tree above forced me to jump up and look towards the sound.
At first, my mind was in disbelief. Sasuke sat in the
tree looking down. Before I could respond, he jumped down and landed to my
left. I stared wide-eyed not ready to face him alone, nor have his body so
close. The intimate dream still played in my consciousness, as I desperately
tried to calm myself and erase any signs of discomfort.

�What are you doing here?� I asked, sitting back down.

�This is where we�re meeting, Dobe,�
he responded making me look like a fool, for asking such an obvious question.

�You know what I mean. We have about thirty minutes before
the meeting time,� I responded back.

�Dobe, I always arrive first, so
being here early isn�t strange, but you being here this early is unusual.�

�Well, I�m full of surprises. You�re strange, wasting your
morning, hanging around and waiting for us to arrive,� I smiled and continued,
�Sasuke, are you lonely? Is that why you wait, so
long for us?� I felt like a bastard that morning. His presence invaded my sleep
and now invaded the private time I hoped to enjoy before the mission. I was
determined to make him feel uncomfortable.

Sasuke looked down at me and
smiled back, �Some people take pride in their work, arriving early, never late.
I know it�s hard for someone who doesn�t understand success to comprehend, but
try to see if from a dependable person�s point of view.� He knelt down in front
of me and continued, �Naruto, you�re here extra early this morning, Are you
lonely?� he asked.

I jumped up. That was completely unexpected. I didn�t see him turning my question around. I�m always lonely but that wasn�t the reason for my early
arrival. �Sasuke, I�m a responsible ninja, ready and
eager to start a new mission.�

Sasuke smiled, leaned in and spoke
a little lower this time, �but that doesn�t answer the question. Are you
lonely?� He was close enough where I could feel his breath on me. I shrugged
and moved back hitting the tree. The closeness between us made me
uncomfortable. �Why are you afraid to answer the question?� he asked, as his
eyes stared into mine.

�I�� but I didn�t know what to say.
Sasuke continued to move in. Leaves started to rustle
behind us. For a moment, I thought Sasuke looked
pissed at the disturbance or maybe he wasn�t done
torturing me. Until I collected my thoughts, I believed Sasuke
was going to kiss me or do something equally intimate. After awhile I realized
the error of my thinking. He was just teasing me, which was nothing new, but my
dreams caused different thoughts and desires inside and I might have wished for
the intimacy and forced myself to read Sasuke�s
actions all wrong.

Sakura, Sayori and her companion arrived,
a male bodyguard in his mid-twenties. He�s a jounin racked ninja, and, personally,
I didn�t know how he put up with such an annoying brat, but he was her personal
bodyguard. Sometimes first impressions are hard to change, and from the short
period of time I spent with this girl yesterday, I didn�t
like her. She ran up to us and greeted Sasuke, �Good
morning Sasuke,� she said. I cursed under my breath,
as she passed by me with no acknowledgement.

Sasuke nodded his head but said no
words to her. I smiled to myself, pleased with his stoic behavior. Sakura addressed
us both in her chipper morning greeting and Sayori�s
bodyguard, Sato, nodded; I secretly wished Sayori
exhibited the same behavior and not the loud clinginess she showed.

My opinion of the client remained the same. She avoided and
refused to look towards me. I tried to ease the tension by walking up to her,
but before a good morning escaped my lips, she had moved over to talk with
Sato. Yeap she despised me, I thought. While waiting
for our tardy teacher, I tried to find a reason for her disgust. I did nothing
to her, but her discontent was evident, and my presence seemed to be a major
contribution to it. She completely ignored me, not that I minded. To be honest,
I didn�t like her either; my anger and dislike towards
her was justified because she had poor taste, which she demonstrated by hanging
all over Sasuke, so as you can see I wasn�t jealous
or anything and I had every reason in the world to feel what I did.

Kakashi arrived early, well on
time but for him that�s early, and finally our mission
started with little suspense. Kakashi walked in
front, Sakura, Sato, and Sayori in the middle and Sasuke and I pulled up the rear. Sayori, not satisfied with
the arrangement, tired to walk next to Sasuke.

�Why can�t I walk next to Sasuke?�
He is obviously the best ninja out of these three.� She directed towards Kakashi. At that comment, Sakura visibly winced, but I
remained unresponsive to her.

�Sayori this is my team and I know
the most effective placement of the group,� Kakashi
responded in a way that indicated he would listen to no other discussion on the
matter.

I mentally cheered, until I realized it meant I would be
next to Sasuke. I�m a
balanced person and the torment Sasuke�s been putting
me though left me feeling uneven. It�s not just my
dreams, but his close presence because it makes me recall the passion and
desire. The first day, we traveled a few yards behind the rest. Close enough to
call out to the group but unable to have a normal conversation. The only source
of verbal exchange would be with Sasuke and I wasn�t prepared for that. Our positions changed during the
day, we walked side by side down the path at first but sometimes that wasn�t possible. This happened when the path narrowed, which
force us into a single line. When Sasuke walked in
front of me, I hate to admit this, but I stared at him and not in a friendly
way and cursed all the time spent with Kakashi and Jiraya because their perversions started to rub off.

The quiet time spent during the first day gave me the
opportunity to reflect on my sexuality. A part of me denied any feelings towards
Sasuke, while the other part accepted it. These
feelings went beyond friendship. Did I love him? I couldn�t answer
that, but I did lust after him. He is drop-dead gorgeous with dark hair and
eyes that pull you in and connect to your soul. I hated to see him brood over
past mistakes and I thought about him all the time, but sometimes that was
because of the dreams. What�s not to lust after? If
the dreams represented my inner most desire, I wanted Sasuke
and walking along side him, I still fantasize about him. I want to reach out
and kiss him, feel his hands all over my body and make me scream his name. Yeah
the questions I had concerning my sexuality slowly diminished each day.

In the beginning, when I started to like someone, it was Sakura,
but I never thought about doing the things with her that I longed to do with Sasuke. She�s cute and nice but it
never went beyond that. Occasionally I thought about kissing her. With Sasuke, I longed for more. Kissing wasn�t
enough, I needed more, but that didn�t mean I was gay. Did
it? Did I lust after males, or is Sasuke a
special case?

�Dobe pay attention,� Sasuke ordered, pulling me from self-reflection. Well, that�s an understatement since I nearly jumped out of my
skin. When you�re debating about being gay and the object
of your desires starts to talk, well it can take years off your life.

�I am,� I lied and watched him smile. He didn�t say
anything, but he was obviously amused by my discomfort. He stared directly into
my eyes and for a moment, I panicked. Would he see my dreams and desires? They had
to be clearly written across my face. I averted my
glaze and cursed myself, for not being able to handle things better.

We walked in silence for the rest of the day, with Sasuke behind me. Maybe he thought I would lag behind, or
he needed to watch me but he wouldn�t allow me to
close the distance and walk with him. �Dobe, don�t be
a slow poke,� he would say when I tried. Then it hit me and my heart skipped a
beat; he thought I was inadequate and needed watching, but I didn�t
show these fears. I wanted to look back and see his expression and I missed being
able to watch him walk but I dared not turn around because he would see the
fear in my eyes and on my face.

Then it hit me. If he knew about my feelings, I would lose the
connection we had. It wasn�t
the first time I thought about this, but I never contemplated losing his
friendship and gaining his contempt. He would leave and never look back, but
maybe we needed distance. It would hurt not being around him but I would live.
If Sasuke ever looked at me with the same cold
contempt as the villagers, I couldn�t live with that. On
the first day�s long walk, I devised a plan. The less time I spent with Sasuke the best. We might lose our friendship for the time
being but he wouldn�t despise me.

The plan was simple: remove myself from Sasuke�s
life. We would still be teammates but other than that, we would have no
contact. I would stop all conversations and fighting matches. To keep Sasuke�s respect, I would build a wall between us and it
would start now.
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Hidden Heartache