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Recherche	By : Eggburtshamslice Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 4188 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I make any profit from this work of fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 27
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- 29
Early morning, two days before the event of the season:
“There you go,” Ibiki proudly said when he deposited a stack of folders on the watch commander’s desk, "the monthly and quarterly reports.”
“Impressive,” Ryota cast a nonchalant glance toward the ungainly heap, “districts filed alphabetically and chronologically,’ he said giving them a cursory thumb through. “Someone’s bored stiff.”
“You should be on your feet cheering and yes, I’m bored to tears. Nevertheless, I’ve a meeting with the Governor. Have the stable master bring Mayonaka to the Complex. Once this meeting wraps, I’m heading to Hatake manor. Anything else that needs my attention or signature, best hand it over now.”
“I’ll hold down the fort while you're gone, but if you're in need of a chuckle, take a look at this,” Ryota said as he shoved one of the deputy’s reports toward Ibiki. “The last crew that went out to secure the crime scene said they couldn’t find it.”
“Keep it,” he sighed, “no sense gettin’ my dander up about nothing. We’ve recovered enough evidence to keep Genma busy and that's good enough for me. Reckon I’ll be back by late afternoon.”
The trek across the busy plaza he found unsettling; the warm smiles, the cheery greetings,
and then it happened.

Someone ran up behind him, nearly slapping the air from his lungs when a beefy hand landed between his shoulder blades.
Only one man in the territory is that stupid, he thought turning to face the Coroner with a growl.
“Idate? The hell are you doing here?”
“Missed those warm smiles and gigantic hugs of yours Biki.”
“And you narrowly missed gettin’ a rap in the mouth too.”
“Always so pleasant. And to answer your question, I’m in town because of Tsume; needs supplies from the apothecary,” he cautiously looked around, “and I need a break from her. You look surprisingly well fed and rested, how go things with you?”
“Let’s see … townsfolk aren’t flinging rotten produce at my head and they’ve yet to hang me in effigy, well ... this week anyway. All in all, things are going well.”
“So, in other words, you’re bored outta your skull.”
Ibiki smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say?”
“Say you’ll come back to the farm with me. Could really use your help; two rigs need surgery--”
“Stop right there, I pass,” he shuddered, “but as it happens, an errand takes me out your way this afternoon. I’d be willing to help with anything else, in exchange for one of Hana’s bentos.”
Idate reached out as they walked and shook his hand, “You got a deal. But don’t try to be slick and sweet talk my wife old man. No work, no bento.”
“Oh no, you're onto me ... whatever shall I do?"
“Jackass.”
“I can tell you don’t come to town much, bumpkin... the apothecary is that way.”
“Yes,” he gestured toward the Complex, “but the assessor’s office is over there. Property taxes due next month. Not a capital crime to pay early, is it?”
“No, but I might make an exception in your case.”
“Gee, you’re all heart Inspector.”
“Right this way hayseed,” he said holding the one of the double doors open. “Hate to find my brother’s name on the scofflaw list.”
“You’re here to speak with the Governor?”
“What about it?”
“Do me a favor, ask if she wouldn’t mind--”
“Idate, she was a people doctor, not a vet; hardly think she has time to--”
“If I wanted my intelligence belittled, I coulda stayed home ... Tsume is much better at it than you.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
They were halfway to the reception desk when Idate said, “Every now and again, the Governor would send medical students our way when we were in a pinch, like now. Ask if she’d consider doing it again, please. It’ll be the same deal ... free room and board, a little pocket change included.”
"Yeah, yeah … I’ll ask. See ya,” said Ibiki as they parted ways.
Recherché
“It’s almost nine o’clock in the morning. Reckon he rushed her outta here before dawn?”
Izumo laid down his pen and sighed. “For the last time Tetsu, he had too much to eat and drink last night… his stomach was griping--”
“Didn’t sound like no bellyache to me. All that moanin’ and groanin’ … he was greasin’ the fire pole I tell ya.”
“Must you be so vulgar?”
“Oh, calm down Frumpystilskin, we’re all men here.”
“Just stop talking … please.” Izumo returned to his writing as Kotetsu’s spoon rattled against the sides of his mug. “I never knew Ruka was such a show-off. Personally, I woulda conducted my business at the cathouse. The walls are thicker.”
“And how would you know that?”
Leaning back in his chair, he folded his arms across his chest saying, “Unlike you and your prude cousin, I didn’t just read about sex in dusty schoolbook. Nope ... I got out there and experienced it.”
“I'm sure that's not my business and don't you go wandering off to get more ... 'experience,' hear me? We can’t afford to waste our money frivolously. The way I figure, it’ll be another month before things get tight, so, don’t even--”
“Hey, I’ve been doing my part since we got here. We’ve been eating on the regular and for nothing, why? Because of me. If ya hothouse petunias weren't afraid of getting your hands dirty, I could teach you to live off the land.”
Returning to the work before him, Izumo snickered, “Let's hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“How long were you planning to stay here anyway? We collected most of the amulets, I’ve sharpened all the weapons ... we can knock off Hatake at this shindig, go back to London and find work there--”
“Why bother going back to London? We can take out Hatake and stay right here in Konoha at the expense of the people. I’m sure they won’t mind housing us rent free while we await execution for murder--”
“You got no stones Zumo ... speaking of which," he gestured with his chin toward the disheveled looking Iruka, "somebody got a lot of bang for their buck last night.”
Izumo turned to see his cousin staggering from his room; his hair every which way, his forehead dotted with perspiration, the dark circles under his eyes could have been used for archery practice, “Damn ... you look like hell,” he said without thinking.
“Hush up the both of you ... had a rough night okay? Didn’t get much sleep--”
“So we heard,” Kotetsu answered with a wink. “Well, where is she?”
“There was no she you pervert,” he grumbled falling into the chair beside Izumo. “Just kept having the same nightmare over and over.”
“Seriously, she was that ugly?”
“Come on, get it together," he said cutting his eyes at Kotetsu. "I’ll make you some tea, Iruka.”
The moment Izumo disappeared into the kitchen, Kotetsu scooted into the abandoned seat whispering, “Okay, he’s gone now, you can tell me ... what was she like?”
Elbows on the table, the palms of his hands supporting his brow, Iruka snapped, “Nothing to tell as I’ve no time for carnal pursuits--”
“There’s the problem right there. You gotta find time for life’s little pleasures Ruka ... might help you relax.”
“Honestly, you’ve got a one-track mind this morning," Izumo called from the kitchen. "Go on then, leave him alone." He tried shooing Kotetsu from his seat, leaning between them saying, " Iruka, drink this; black tea, with a little ginger root. It’ll wake you up and settle your stomach.”
“So, nightmares, huh,” Kotetsu asked, “wanna talk about 'em?”
“Not particularly. Just a series of very interesting images, that’s all.”
“If you’d rather not,” he said, finally dislodging Kotetsu from the seat, “you don’t owe either of us --”
“Tetsu will pester me all day if I leave it unsaid .. it's okay.   Like any other nightmare, it was ... strange,” he said after savoring his first sip. “I'd rendered Hatake powerless, he was lying flat on the ground before me; I approached with dagger in hand and fell on him. But the moment I thought to plunge my blade into his chest, he gave me this smug little grin and lifted his hand to my face. Somehow or another, he’d ripped the heart out of my chest … I watched him squeeze it until it exploded. Instead of blood running down his hand, get this, there were hundreds of tiny puppets ... every one of them looked exactly like me. They surrounded my body and pulled me down until I was on my back while Hatake stood over me. I watched him chew up what was left of my heart and then he ran off into the forests.”
“That’s it? I thought you said it was interesting?”
Izumo kicked him in the shin under the table. “What our idiot friend is trying to say is, your dream sounds like a bad case of nerves. It’s just a party, Iruka. Chances are you’ll see Hatake briefly before he’s rushed off to greet other guests. We can make a graceful exit after an hour --”
“Yeah,” Kotetsu chimed in, “one hour, oughta be enough time for us to split up and snoop around.”
Iruka gave forth a dry laugh. “That part is easier said than done. The party is less than a day away and my ‘ace in the hole’ is god knows where--”
“Forget about that character, he didn’t even have the decency to respond to your letter," Izumo said as he patted him on the shoulder. "If it’s any consolation, you still have us--”
“Damn right,” Kotetsu added, “a pinch penny and a pervert ...we’re an unstoppable team.”
Iruka took another sip and smiled. “Believe it or not, that is oddly encouraging.”
“To be clear, I’m encouraging,” Izumo said, “and him … he’s just odd.”
“Go ahead, yuck it up, ya yahoos. Last laugh is on you. Ruka’s all wound up about some stupid dream and you're talkin' out the side of your neck Zumo; either one of you geniuses realize we still don’t know where Hatake lives?”
“Well that's easily fixed," Iruka cheerily replied. "I’ll drop by the Governor’s office, update her on this development and get directions while I’m at it.”
“Good idea. I’m thinking the other amulets should be ready now. Me and Tetsu will pay a visit to the Temple--”
“Oh yeah? I think you gotta another think coming Zumo. I hate going up there … always look at me funny.” His eyes darted between his two silent friends. "First one to say, ‘it's because I’m funny looking,’ gets a punch in the head.”
Recherché
Because Lady Tsunade was nursing one helluva hangover, his report was delivered in hushed tones with no questions asked. When Ibiki emerged from the building, the stable manager and his mount were standing near the fountain in the plaza. Even the pushcart vendors were coldly cordial as he brushed past them. Must be my lucky day, he thought,
and it was ... until he reached the forest.
“What in blue blazes? How is it possible for an entire area to vanish into thin air? Come on Mayonaka .... let's get the hell outta here.”
He fared no better at the house of Hatake.
“I’m afraid Master is unavailable,” the servant told him through a partially opened front door.
“How fortunate then that I came to see you Kinoe.”
“In that case, do come in Inspector.”
Behind the nervous servant with the fake smile, other of the household help were running about cleaning, polishing, dusting and sweeping.
“I just wanna know if a decision’s been made about my request.”
“Oh, my heavens,” Kinoe said flipping through the folder he held, “I’ve been rushed off my feet since last I saw you … forgot to send a messenger with this. Sorry.”
Once Ibiki scanned down to the part of the letter giving him permission, he said, “I’d like to have a few men in plain clothes inside the manor too, if that’s alright.”
“Certainly. I’ll be announcing the guests as they arrive, just tell me how to recognize your men.”
“They’ll flash their badges.”
“Right, excuse me, somewhat disjointed today, mind going in a thousand directions at once. On behalf of our guests I thank you for the extra care you're providing--"
“We’re doing this for Lord Hatake’s protection, not theirs. Threats have been made, I wanna keep this person from sneaking in among the other guests--”
“My word … an assault on the Master would certainly put a damper on the festivities. Can you give me a description of this ne’er-do-well,” he said readying his pen, “I mean, on the off chance he slips past your men?”
Ibiki clamped down on his anger, forcing a response through clenched jaws. “Average height and weight ... late twenties, early thirties, very distinct scar across his nose. Goes by the name of Umino Iruka; he’ll be accompanied by two other gentlemen.”
Kinoe stopped writing for a moment. “Umino? Hmm, that might present a problem for my Master,” he said turning a few pages in the folder. “Dr. Umino Iruka is an invited guest.”
"How’s that?"
“From what I understand, the Governor encouraged his invitation. She didn’t tell you?"
“Must’ve slipped her mind,” Ibiki ground out. “Nevertheless, my men will be in place should Umino create a ruckus. Good day, Kinoe.”
He rode back into town angry and confused, the promise to Idate forgotten. He and Mayonaka were just coming to a halt when Lady Tsunade walked out of the Complex. He spoke without care about his tone of voice. “Ma’am,” he why didn’t you tell me? Umino attending Hatake’s party--”
“See here, Inspector, I just found out he accepted the invite myself. Why is that your concern anyway? Oh my god ... what have you done, Ibiki?”
Recherché
“Itachi ... come in son.”
The young man entered the study, bowing before his father and taking a seat beside him.
“Lords Orochimaru and Danzou just left; boorish idiots, they could speak nothing apart from this grand soiree. There will be many people of influence at this affair and I think it wise you join them. Never hurts to have to political contacts within the other nations.”
“But Father, I’ve already refused. It would be gauche if turned up out of the blue.”
“Now you sound like your mother,” Fugaku laughed. “Gauche or not, you will attend.”
“As you wish, my Lord.”
Notes:
Rig: male horse with one or two undescended testicles.
Scofflaw: one who flouts the law, especially one who fails to pay fines or fees owed.
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