Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Entropy	By : ersatzbeta Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1332 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I profit from writing this or any other fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 27
- 28
- 29
Author's Note: Back again in a somewhat timely fashion. Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty Seven
Kakashi couldn�t sleep that night. He rolled over and over, sheets tangling, blanket long since crumpled on the floor. He caught himself listening for signs of Sasuke: awake, dreaming, or anything in between. He kept feeling for that irregularity in his chakra, but from this distance, he couldn�t feel anything but the normal flow through Sasuke�s coils. He was not satisfied with this, wasn�t lulled into sleepiness because everything seemed to be okay. Not when he knew that things were really and truly wrong.
Kakashi wasn't sure how to approach Sasuke in all this, and there was a certain irony in deliberately leaving out the person these developments affected most. But he couldn't help it, couldn't risk it. What if Sasuke didn't know? What if he did know? What if, what if, what if� All the questions droned around inside Kakashi's head like a swarm of hornets, just itching for an excuse to land and sting. He shivered and stared out the window into the darkness.
Idly, he mused how best to find out what the ANBU guard had seen in all this, whether any of the situation had made its way--inadvertently or not--into a report somewhere. It probably had, and there was little he could do to change that.
He wondered whether it would be easier to break into the records, or to bluff it out with the ANBU themselves. Kakashi sighed and sat up in bed, feeling that familiar flicker of chakra at the range of his senses. It was something to consider, anyway. If he knew what they knew, he might be able to influence what was reported in future, so that the official truth was less harmful to Sasuke. At this moment, Kakashi thought that it was almost a pity he hadn�t kept closer ties with ANBU, that his friends and acquaintances were limited these days to the people who trusted that Sasuke wasn�t out to murder everyone in their beds.
Thinking a little more, it struck Kakashi what his next move ought to be. He needed to go talk to Genma. The current crop of ANBU agents were more his circle of friends than Kakashi�s, and Genma was a good friend who wouldn�t bat an eyelash at his sudden appearance, despite their not keeping company regularly over the past few weeks.
Genma would be an excellent cover story; they had, as recently as a month or two ago, spent time together, passing the hours in Genma's bed. No one outside the situation would assume otherwise, either, because Kakashi and Sasuke were the only ones who knew what had changed in the interim.
Kakashi had suspicions that Genma would be accommodating, even if it wasn't going to be their usual sort of meeting. Genma liked sex, true, but he also liked to gossip, though he never put it quite that way. If Kakashi should happen to let slip his interest in the reports about Sasuke--after all, it was his mission to be looking after him--if he were to, perhaps, profess an interest in the ANBU keeping watch over their house�Kakashi scratched his head. It could be done.
By the time morning came, Kakashi felt as disheveled as his bed. Still, there wasn�t much point in laying around, fruitlessly trying to sleep when it was so obviously not going to come. He shrugged and got up. At least he'd accomplished a little in the meanwhile.
He showered in a daze, coming to himself for the third time in a row to discover he�d nearly scrubbed all the skin off his arms and that he�d used all the hot water in the process. Kakashi hardly knew where to begin with his problems beyond visiting Genma; there were too many questions and too few answers. Kakashi dragged himself out of the shower. His head felt muzzy, and his brain wheeled in endless circles as he dried and dressed.
Sasuke was in his usual place, poking at the fire, when Kakashi came downstairs. He was pleased to see that there was breakfast, too, though he had little appetite for it. Sasuke got up and joined him at the table. It was the easiest part of the routine they'd developed, and, in some ways the most satisfying as well. Kakashi liked the silence that started off the day, the comforting quietness that surrounded the ritual of breakfast tea, even if he didn't feel like eating what was set before him.
This morning, watching Sasuke eating his rice brought visceral memories back home to Kakashi as he slogged his way through his own food. He was now quite aware of the feel of Sasuke�s lips. It was tortuous to watch him eating. Kakashi tried to stop looking, to tear himself away from those thoughts which had no place at the breakfast table. He concentrated on the bowl before him.
Kakashi cleared his throat, preparing to tell Sasuke that he would be going into town today. He made the mistake of looking at Sasuke, and his carefully planned sentences turned to dust. A grain of rice was clinging to Sasuke's mouth, just hovering on the edge of those lips. Kakashi felt a flush creep up his neck, and he was grateful he wore his mask. Sasuke swiped a hand across his mouth. The single grain smeared. It looked sticky. Still, it called to Kakashi; he itched to clean it up. It was then that Sasuke seemed to notice that he held Kakashi's undivided attention.
�Quit staring,� said Sasuke.
Sasuke's forehead wrinkled, and Kakashi was compelled to change the subject before Sasuke decided to ask any questions. He scrambled for a suitable conversation starter.
�Did you sleep well, Sasuke?� said Kakashi.
Sasuke scowled in reply.
"I'll take that as a no, then," said Kakashi. "Maybe you can get a little sleep in while I'm out."
Kakashi knew perfectly well that Sasuke would not sleep in the day, and never ever while alone in the house. And yet, it was all he could think to say.
"Out where?" said Sasuke.
Sasuke�s attempt at nonchalance would have been downright funny under other circumstances. But still, Kakashi needed to play this right.
"I'm going to town, maybe catch up with a few friends, get something interesting to bring back for dinner," said Kakashi. "Need anything?"
Most of the time, Sasuke would rather die than admit he wanted something. This behavior made Kakashi want to shake him until his teeth rattled in his pretty little head. Kakashi expected no exception today.
"Fine then," said Sasuke. "Have a good time. Say hi to Genma for me."
Sasuke's voice was tight and bitter. It surprised Kakashi.
"Genma?" said Kakashi. "Now why would you assume I�m going to see him?�
Was Sasuke in the business of reading minds these days? It wouldn�t do for him to find out he was right.
Sasuke rolled his eyes fiercely and shoved back in his chair. He stayed seated, though, and kept one hand on the edge of the table as he spoke.
�I�m not an idiot,� said Sasuke. �Don�t treat me like one. Everyone knows that��
He broke off, frowning. His knuckles tightened on the table.
Kakashi made a show of scratching his chin. It seemed his cover story was going to work a little too well, if Sasuke was getting this upset up over it. He could tell Sasuke was jealous, though there wasn�t much he could do about it. Kakashi felt like sighing, giving up, and going back to bed. He firmed his resolve. It was Sasuke he was trying to work around, and although he didn't want him to be unhappy like this, the whole charade was supposed to help Sasuke in the long run. Kakashi slumped at the table. He pushed his breakfast aside in favor of thinking.
He didn't want to feel guilty about this. He wasn't responsible, not entirely, anyway, for Sasuke's current fit of pique. Kakashi snuck a glance at Sasuke, distantly noted the tensions that riddled his body language. Even now, Kakashi could see that Sasuke struggled to keep himself in check. There was a hint of red madness in his eyes. It was unfortunate Kakashi couldn't let him know, in some small way, that Genma was just a pretext. Kakashi realized then that he had not actually denied planning to visit Genma, which might help explain Sasuke's bad mood.
Somewhere along the way, though Kakashi couldn't pinpoint the exact moment of change and might have, in fact, only put it into words during this very moment, he had decided that he wasn't going to lie. Keeping Sasuke's faith, his trust, was more important. What Kakashi was doing now was dangerously close to lying. Guilt gnawed at him and he couldn't dismiss it entirely. Sasuke had misconceptions but had asked no questions, and thus Kakashi kept to his own special brand of silence, which protected the truths and preserved the fragile workings he made that were designed to protect Sasuke.
If Sasuke had asked�well. That would be a different story. Kakashi honored two of his maxims this day: to look beneath the underneath--to keep the truth hidden, secure, and it wasn't his fault if Sasuke was too wound up in the fictional surface to notice--and, at the same time, to look after and never abandon his teammates. Sasuke wasn't strictly a comrade-in-arms, true, but he was the closest thing Kakashi had. Some days, Sasuke was the only thing he had.
Kakashi felt a grim sense of satisfaction, having reached, at last, a conclusion, a stopping point for his churning thoughts. He looked up again at Sasuke, ready to talk and smooth over the feathers he'd inadvertently ruffled. However, Sasuke had reached some conclusions of his own.
The look in Sasuke's eyes as he stalked away, hands clenched at his sides--boiling over with hurt and anger and frustration--tore all of Kakashi's careful reasoning to shreds.
A/N: I have no idea why, but this was a difficult chapter to write! And now that it's over, I have so very little to say about it. Hmph. Looking ahead, I have several distinct possibilities in the works for the next chapter or two. I suppose I should sit on them for a couple days before deciding, see which one goes best.
Also, a big blanket thank-you to readers and reviewers alike! I am continually--happily--surprised that so many people read and continue to read (and enjoy) this story. Can you believe that I thought, oh so many months ago, that I'd be completely finished with this story before summer started? Hah, I say!
See you all sometime in the next week with chapter twenty eight!
- 27
- 28
- 29
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Entropy