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Entropy	By : ersatzbeta Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1332 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I profit from writing this or any other fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
Author's Note: This chapter contains some sex. Yep. At some point in the future, when this story has more to warn for, I intend to change the codes on the whole story...until then, I'm not sure it merits it. Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty Six
Troubled thoughts swirling round in his head, Kakashi re-entered the house. He rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them. Had Neji really been telling the truth? He shrugged out of his jacket. His instincts told him that Neji had been truthful, but he still felt that he was missing some part of the equation. He took off his shoes and lined them up neatly next to Sasuke�s. Kakashi would have to bite his tongue and hope for things to get better, until he had proof either way, even if he was choosing to believe that Neji was telling the truth, that Sasuke was recovering. The strength of that desire for something positive for Sasuke surprised him. Kakashi believed himself to be a pragmatist, though, and he couldn�t stop the niggling feeling in the back of his head that things weren�t right.
Stepping up into the living room, Kakashi was halfway to recognizing that Sasuke was not in his usual seat next to the stove when someone came at him from the left�his blind side�and swept the legs out from under him. He forgot for a fraction of a second that he couldn't channel chakra into his right arm, and his whole life�s worth of training did him a disservice. Kakashi couldn�t stop himself trying to use that arm to balance and push up from the floor. He landed awkwardly, left arm not compensating for the imbalance. His head hit the floor. Kakashi lay half across the entryway, one ankle dangling over the step down, kunai in his left hand ready to defend. Clearly, this was not his finest hour. It was almost undignified.
The person came clear, hovering over him, and Kakashi had the perfect opportunity. His grip on the hilt firmed, and he spun the blade around in his hand. His heart skipped a beat, lurching unpleasantly from red alert to relative normal in the blink of an eye. It was Sasuke. Sasuke had ambushed him in their own home. He wasn�t sure what to think, at this point. Kakashi�s mouth ran interference.
"A simple 'welcome home' would have been fine," said Kakashi. �No need for all this ceremony.�
He racked his brains trying to think what this could mean. Sasuke looked mellow, actually, nothing overtly dangerous in his posture or facial expression. He wasn�t radiating that sense of menace that Kakashi had come to associate with his bad times. Sasuke bent over him.
"That�s not it," said Sasuke, frowning.
It was like he was carrying on an entirely different conversation, Kakashi thought. And he had just stepped into the middle of it.
"I thought, maybe�" said Sasuke.
Sasuke swallowed. He turned his face away a fraction and blinked. Then he spoke again.
"I thought, maybe, we could pick up again," said Sasuke. "You know?"
A hint of color crept along his cheekbones. He adjusted the collar of his shirt and waited.
Kakashi turned it over for a few seconds. From this angle, he could see the way Sasuke's eyelashes shook a little with each breath he took, could see the way Sasuke's eyes had darkened, pupils creeping slowly outward. Did Sasuke mean�? Kakashi rubbed the back of his head where it was tender from hitting the floor. He took another look at Sasuke, who was nervously licking his lips and staring off toward the kitchen, trying to pretend like the answer to his invitation didn�t matter. But it did matter, and Sasuke really was saying what Kakashi thought he was.
"Oh," said Kakashi.
Sasuke�s face closed, became a little harder to read. Still, it was obvious to Kakashi that he was preparing for rejection.
"Not that I'm trying to complain, but your method of approach could use a little work," said Kakashi.
Though Sasuke couldn't see it, Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask. As to why he was smiling, he himself couldn't define it completely. His feelings seemed to communicate themselves to Sasuke regardless, who looked a little annoyed. Sasuke's flush deepened.
"It�s not funny,� said Sasuke. " What was I supposed to do? I didn't even know if you�"
Sasuke cut himself off. He looked away again, at some point above Kakashi's head. He drew in a few breaths of air.
"Look," said Sasuke. "Yes or no?"
He sat down then, on the floor next to Kakashi. Without prompting, he eased Kakashi�s mask down, inch by inch, fingertips hovering just above Kakashi�s skin. Sasuke sat with his arms around his knees, waiting with visible impatience. But his eyes stayed on Kakashi. The way Sasuke looked at him, so intensely, seeing God-knew-what there and, apparently, liking it, started a warmth glowing inside Kakashi�s chest.
The warmth spread elsewhere as he picked out the details of Sasuke as he waited; the pulse in his throat; the way Sasuke's lower lip tightened as he bit it; the fine beads of sweat starting to rise along his temple; the way his body radiated heat as he sat less than an inch away from touching Kakashi. Kakashi shifted over until they brushed against each other. Sasuke twitched and then leaned back against him just enough to keep the contact going, the slightest pressure imaginable. Sasuke let out a breath of air.
"Okay," said Kakashi.
Sasuke rolled over on top of him, carefully landing with one knee on either side of Kakashi. As Sasuke started lifting Kakashi's shirt, Kakashi made sure that it became bundled around his right arm�because Kakashi was sure Sasuke would see the tiny bruises marching up it and know them for what they were. Kakashi pillowed his head with the arm and shirt, inched the angle of his body upward a touch. Sasuke frowned at him and opened his mouth to say something.
"Don't mind me," said Kakashi. "I�m not hurting much, but I�m flattered you would ask."
Sasuke gave him a look. His eyes were guarded.
"Whatever," said Sasuke.
Shirt attended to, Sasuke moved his hands to the belt around Kakashi's waist. He hesitates a second, fingers hooked under the buckle.
"I'm in no hurry, Sasuke," said Kakashi.
"I know," said Sasuke. "I just wanted�to see."
Kakashi thought he understood. He stayed quiet and still as Sasuke made short work of the rest of his clothes. There was an appreciative glitter in Sasuke's eyes as he took in all of Kakashi. He lingered particularly from shoulders to thighs. Sasuke ran a finger over Kakashi's stomach, and Kakashi couldn't help the shiver that contact elicited.
Then Sasuke moved his hands upward over Kakashi, not touching him until he came to settle in his hair. Sasuke's hands were gentle, very gentle as he stroked Kakashi's scalp, his hair, danced over the top of first one ear and then the other, carefully avoiding the band of his hitai-ate. Kakashi was beginning to feel a little like a housecat that�s been held too long, when he remembered how sensitive Sasuke's hands were. How must this feel to him? He slid his gaze over Sasuke. Heat spiked in him when he saw how Sasuke's breath came harder, how his eyes were half closed and his fingers trembled just a hair as he went back for each successive pass over Kakashi.
"Sasuke," said Kakashi. "Not that I would ever complain, but is this all you were asking for?"
Sasuke pulled back. The muscles in his thighs flexed against Kakashi's sides. Kakashi felt a pleasant chill sweep over him when he allowed himself to imagine what might come from all this.
"Just shut up," said Sasuke.
His voice was deeper, rougher, and compelling. His tone entranced Kakashi.
"And don't move, either.�
Sasuke rolled his eyes when he said that, but his lips twitched upward in some semblance of a smile. Kakashi felt himself being drawn almost irresistibly toward that flash of the young man Sasuke could have been, could still be if he had half a chance: handsome, domineering, prickly, self-possessed but not without humor. Kakashi's insides did acrobatics as he warmed to the idea of doing this, being here right now. The floor was unyielding beneath him, but it wasn�t too cold. It was a nice contrast as Sasuke pressed himself against Kakashi; even through his clothing, Sasuke was hot to the touch, and some parts of him were hotter than others.
His mouth, for instance, was like a furnace as Sasuke used his tongue to become familiar with the contours of Kakashi's neck. Kakashi couldn't shake off the impression that Sasuke was as near a perfect fit as he could ask for. It didn't feel awkward when Sasuke touched the flesh that was usually insulated from the world by the mask Kakashi wore. It felt� He scrambled away from that thought and concentrated on what Sasuke was doing.
Sasuke's fingers drew indecipherable patterns on Kakashi's jaw, his chin, his cheek. Even when they moved on to follow the path his mouth had made, slipping down his throat, Kakashi could still feel the ghostly impressions of where those fingers had been. Feeling throbbed in his skin like an invisible seal lying just beneath the surface. Kakashi exhaled, not realizing until now that he'd been holding his breath.
Sasuke mapped his chest, his abdomen, the left arm, his legs, all with that hot mouth and incomparably smooth hands. And when his hair brushed the insides of Kakashi's thighs, Kakashi sucked in a breath and spoke.
"Sasuke," Kakashi said.
He paused, for a moment not recognizing his own voice. Sasuke looked up at him.
"Sasuke�you don't have to," said Kakashi. "I wouldn't ever presume, not if you don't want to."
"Like I said," said Sasuke. "Shut up."
And as soon as Kakashi recognized the trembling in Sasuke's voice for what it was�a mix of pleasure and nervousness�it was far too late for rational, coherent thought because Sasuke's mouth was on him, and his hands kept Kakashi's hips flush to the floor. It was all Kakashi could do not to hyperventilating. It felt so very good as Sasuke moved over him. It had been quite some time since he'd indulged in this with another person, no matter what Sasuke might have previously believed. Of course, a little voice in the back of his head, one that became less and less important as Sasuke's efforts brought him closer and closer to the edge, suggested it might not be the act so much as the person he was doing it with.

The thought brought a little frisson of displeasure to him. Kakashi was being rather laid back about this encounter. Lazy even. But then, he reasoned, if Sasuke had wanted him to do something, he probably wouldn't have forbidden Kakashi to move. He inhaled sharply when Sasuke slid his mouth further along than he had before. But he had to ask, for all that Sasuke kept telling him to be quiet.
"Sasuke," said Kakashi.
He waited until Sasuke removed his mouth before talking again. Sasuke glared daggers at him.
"What?" said Sasuke.
His voice was a little hoarse, a little peeved, but a glance downward showed Kakashi that Sasuke was really, honestly enjoying himself.
"Is there anything I can help with?" said Kakashi. "Like maybe your clothes?"
He lifted his eye up to meet Sasuke's. Sasuke�s coloring deepened.
"I can get undressed by myself," said Sasuke.
"Oh really?" said Kakashi. "I'd never have guessed. Are you going to take them off?"
Sasuke gave him an exasperated look.
"If it will make you be quiet," said Sasuke. "Fine."
Sasuke stepped back and Kakashi was surprised at how the momentary lack of contact made him feel, but he was riveted by Sasuke as he stripped out of his clothing. The shirt hit the floor, and then Sasuke turned away from him as he got out of his pants. Kakashi drank in the back of him, washed in sweat, muscles standing out, tense and defined along the barely-there ridge of his spine, corded and hard in the arms as they flexed. The scars along his back highlighted how strong he was to survive this long, for all his instabilities. Kakashi inhaled, and the scent of Sasuke sang through his nose and laid thickly on his tongue.
Then Sasuke turned around, and Kakashi sucked in air for an entirely different reason. Sasuke had scars. Very bad scars. Kakashi wasn't sure which were worse: the ones that looked like he'd been torn into by some kind of animal, or the ones that were perfectly straight and even, the ones that looked surgical. The scars Kakashi had seen before, even the worst of those that were on Sasuke's back were nothing compared to these.
"They're not as bad as they look," said Sasuke.
But there was something cold and fragile in Sasuke's face, spreading outward and freezing the emotion right out of it, like he was some sort of statue. The look was a touch scared. At the same time, it just dared Kakashi to say a single word. The scars were probably even worse than they looked, Kakashi decided. He wondered now if this might have been a reason why Sasuke hadn't fully disrobed before. Kakashi struggled to be calm, to not let him think he was doing anything out of pity for him. He didn�t pity Sasuke. Besides which, Kakashi knew that pity would be the last thing Sasuke would accept�or want�from him.
"It's okay," said Kakashi. "I won't touch them, if that's what you want."
He made as if to rise from the floor, to end this interlude, but Sasuke shook his head.
"Don't move," said Sasuke.
He paused and the color rose higher, hotter, and faster in his face than before. Kakashi wanted to smile; Sasuke was nothing if not stubborn.
"This is what I want," said Sasuke.
He turned his face to the side as if the admission had cost him too much to look at Kakashi's face again. He settled back across Kakashi. His hands shook, though, when he laid them over Kakashi's navel. Sasuke rested his too-hot cheek on Kakashi's thigh, nose pointing out over Kakashi's hip. His breath was shallow and warm.
There was a rigidity in the way Sasuke held himself, and Kakashi felt certain that Sasuke was pushing himself too hard to do this. Sasuke was trying to do everything by himself, and he didn't need to, not for Kakashi's sake. He inhaled and felt Sasuke�s hands pressed against him. They were still trembling. Kakashi half-wished that Sasuke could relinquish some control, could understand that it was all right if things didn�t go exactly to plan. It could sometimes be less embarrassing to quit and try again later. But, at the same time, Sasuke was prideful to a fault, and there might not be a next time if this time didn�t go well enough.
Gently, slowly, Kakashi brought his left hand and laid it over both of Sasuke's. Sasuke startled and tried to draw them back, but Kakashi held them firmly until he stopped twitching around. Kakashi didn't think of himself as necessarily being a large man, with large hands, but there was no denying that, compared to Sasuke, his hands were large and rough. Today, this felt like a good difference, an interesting difference between them. The skin of Sasuke's hands was so smooth, so soft under his own. He felt Sasuke's heart speed up through where his cheek touched Kakashi's leg. His breath feathered out onto Kakashi's skin. Kakashi kept stroking Sasuke's hands.
Sasuke drew one slow breath after another, just laying there, and Kakashi reveled in the feeling.
Sasuke began to shift against him, a lazy undulation that pushed them closer and closer together. Kakashi could feel the ridges of his scars, but it was now only an interesting counterpoint to the sleek, warm heat of the rest of Sasuke. Now that Kakashi thought about it, how pleasing it was, how it made jagged stripes of pleasure flicker through him as Sasuke moved over him, he couldn't get it out of his head. He wallowed in the feelings.
Without saying anything, Sasuke withdrew his hands, though he rubbed himself against Kakashi once more. He made eye contact, a long, lingering look that had goosebumps rising on Kakashi�s skin in anticipation. Sasuke lowered his head.
Kakashi pushed back against the floor. He panted, mouth open, and locked his hands beneath his head, twisting them together in his now hopelessly mangled shirt. As he struggled not to move the lower half of his body too much, he banged one elbow against the floor. Kakashi throbbed all over now. Sasuke held him steady, though by no means immobile. Sasuke's tongue slid over him, deliciously thorough. His fingers were firm without clawing into Kakashi. Truth be told, he wouldn't have minded in the least if Sasuke had scratched him up a little, but he appreciated, in the small part of his mind not taken up with Sasuke's mouth, that Sasuke was being so considerate.
Kakashi wasn�t sure how long it went on. It was tortuous as it built up, as Sasuke increased the pace bit by bit, but Kakashi didn�t want it to end, either. A hot dizziness swamped him and he fought not to reach out and touch Sasuke, not to do anything that would interrupt. Sasuke�s hair continued to brush against his legs, and that tickling was almost more than he could bear. He craned his neck to one side and wiped the sweat off his forehead onto one arm. Sasuke�s teeth grazed him, and the breath stuttered into his lungs and out again in a great rush.
Without warning, all thoughts were swept out of Kakashi's head. He was there, close enough to taste the end. His heart hammered in his chest and he broke out into fresh sweat that trickled down his body. He inhaled through his mouth, a great gasping of air, and came in an electric rush, where all he could do was feel as his ears filled with white noise and his legs convulsed and his eye closed tightly. Starbursts pulsed behind his eyelids. He knocked his head against the floor again and wondered, as if from a great distance, if he had been the one to make those strangled sounds.
Kakashi cracked open his eye a split second later to see Sasuke wiping the corners of his mouth with one thumb. Kakashi wanted to apologize, both for the mess and for leaving Sasuke behind in the proceedings.
"Sasuke," he said. "I�"
And then he stopped. Because it was obvious that, through some miracle of biology or good fortune or coordination, Sasuke had, in fact, come as well.
"What?" said Sasuke.
"Nothing," said Kakashi. "I�well�"
He gestured vaguely at Sasuke, who remained puzzled for a moment before the lights came on in his head.
"Don't be an idiot," said Sasuke. "It was very good, but it still needed that human touch to finish it off right."
Kakashi's eyebrows shot up. He knew Sasuke had a sense of humor, but that it popped up now had surprised him. He hadn�t thought Sasuke would be the sort to joke about sex. He wondered if this was how Sasuke should have been, had things not gone so awfully wrong.
Kakashi kept his mouth shut when Sasuke started to move toward him, but instead, after a long moment's hesitation, Sasuke moved away. Already Sasuke's edginess was returning, and he worried that he had helped it, that he had somehow, unwittingly, communicated some of his thoughts to Sasuke. Sasuke looked less happy than he had ten seconds ago.
�Whatever,� said Sasuke. �I just�whatever.�
When Sasuke turned around again to get dressed, Kakashi guessed what his next move would be. Still, it hit him hard when Sasuke left the room without so much as a backward glance. A knot formed inside Kakashi�s chest. He didn't really recall what Sasuke had done the last time, but it was ridiculous to think that Sasuke would hang around. Kakashi himself scorned the post-coital cuddle-and-talk routine.
He sat up on the floor and used his shirt to clean up. And then he caught sight of his arm and the worrying began anew. He couldn't just sit here, mostly naked, and wait for Sasuke to discover the bruises, or wait for him to come back or something. He spared a moment's thought for Sasuke's whereabouts; Sasuke was in his own room, chakra pulsing quietly. Meditating, probably, or hovering on the edge of sleep. Kakashi stifled a yawn and removed himself to his bedroom, keeping his arm covered just in case. A nap wouldn't hurt. There was plenty of time for it. He settled on the bed and was out almost before he realized.
Some time later, Kakashi woke with a start. He might gotten a lead on what Neji hadn't been telling him. But he had to be absolutely sure. He got out of bed. He made his way out of his room and down the hall to Sasuke's room as quietly as his accumulated skills could allow him to move. Kakashi was as close to silent as anyone could be; not only were his physical steps muffled, but he drew in his chakra as tightly as he could, making himself a non-presence.
Kakashi opened the door to Sasuke's room, sliding it open inch by perilous inch. Sasuke would not like what he was doing, even though he had the best of intentions, and those intentions did not include getting caught. Kakashi stole into the room as soon as the gap between the door and the frame was wide enough for him to squeeze through.
Hardly daring to breathe, Kakashi let his eyes adjust to the murky light inside the room. If Sasuke were to discover him invading the only private space he had, there would be no telling what Sasuke would�or could�do to retaliate.
A slight snore issued from the corner where the bed lay. Sasuke was sleeping, chest rising and falling with perfect regularity. Kakashi crept closer and closer, until he could make out each of Sasuke's eyelashes laying against his cheek, could see the pores in his skin and the individual fine hairs that layered together to form his eyebrows. Kakashi held his position and his breath. He watched. He waited. He didn't move a muscle, not even when his legs began to stiffen. He blinked as little as possible. Kakashi waited for something to happen, to see what he needed to see to affirm his suspicions.
The light in the room grew progressively more dim. Kakashi guessed that the sun was going down; this far into winter, the sun set quite early in the evenings, though. And still he waited. Kakashi's night vision sharpened with every passing minute. He still didn't dare to move. He was vulnerable, exposed, and he felt it keenly. If Sasuke woke up, Kakashi was going to be hurt, or even killed, for being where Sasuke would not have anticipated him being. Sasuke himself was in a fairly helpless position and would do anything necessary to defend himself. Hurting Kakashi be somewhat accidental, true, but that wouldn't make him whole again, would it? For a second, he played out a grim little fantasy that Sasuke might actually regret it, might feel, perhaps, a little sad about it.
And then it happened and Kakashi focused like he never had before.
Sasuke dropped into rem-sleep. The faint flickering of his eyelids attested to that as his eyes traveled back and forth, staring into the realms of sleep. For the space of a few heartbeats, everything looked normal. Kakashi strained in the darkness to widen his perception. There! The slightest quiver in Sasuke's chakra, a vibration that should not have been. Kakashi was amazed that he'd found it, that his hunch had been correct.
The implications of it hit home. Kakashi's stomach dropped like a stone. There was something wrong with Sasuke's chakra. It wasn't Sasuke's control that was wrong, but rather what he was trying to control. It was such a tiny difference, and who knew how long it had been there, but it was there. There was a chance that Sasuke hadn't even noticed, and there was no telling if the difference could even be detected when Sasuke was conscious; chakra, no matter how well controlled, was significantly more active when a person was awake. But presumably, Neji had seen it too, and that was no small something.
Kakashi studied the strangeness as best as he could without using chakra�an almost impossible task. He didn't dare move. He didn't want to chance waking Sasuke while using his Sharingan, either. In the end, Kakashi could only conclude that the subtle little whatever-it-was was definitely there. And, perhaps, that was the most disturbing thing of all.
Just as silently as he had come, Kakashi left.
A/N: Well! This chapter was fun but difficult to write...for some weird reason, I had about half of it down in present tense and had to go back and correct that. (If I missed something, please let me know!) I was surprised at how long this chapter got, but I'm pretty happy with it.
Maya-Nara: Kakashi's not having a good day, is he? Though I suppose the sex might help make up for that...Seriously, Neji is cool. He kind of stands on his dignity a lot, which I like, and I could imagine him being all chivalrous even when he's fighting, provided he reins in his temper. I like him as a side character, but I don't know that I could write him all the time, though he is growing on me.
yaoi_is_my_antidrug: (Sorry I've been so delinquent in review responses. I know you left yours back in March.) I'm so pleased to hear you've been enjoying the story! I'm glad I've been able to deliver/get across my ideas well enough for them to be understood...and you understand them well. ^_^ I don't know whether I've made Kakashi and Sasuke easier or harder to put together over the course of this story. Truthfully, I don't find them easy to write anyway, but they interest me to no end, both separately and as a potential couple.
I'm going to shoot for one chapter posted within each seven day period--I'm hoping to not go longer than a week between posts, though I am not committing myself to a particular day to update at this time. Getting back into the swing of this story is easier than I had anticipated, which really is a huge relief. I was worried that I'd stopped for too long and I'd never be able to replicate the moods/tone/etc. I think I'm doing pretty well... Anyway, see you all later!
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Entropy