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Break to Breathe	By : Okami-Rayne Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Neji Views: 1958 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: NARUTO and its respective characters were created and are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement intended. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 25
- 26
- 27
BREAK TO BREATHE

by Okami Rayne

Chapter Twenty Six

[Dedicated to Hanai-kun]

The next few hours bled into a stream of endless tasks, a meandering current of objectives that Neji directed and divided between the Konoha shinobi. Guides were sorted, supplies checked, the village network outlined and teams organised and sent out to retrieve the weapons that had been used by the Tsubasa rebels.
Good…just the final stages now…
By the time Neji crossed the bough-carved bridge, it was already sunset, the season-tinged leaves casting a world of autumnal fire around him. But the cold crept in on the breeze. Neji released a slow breath, ignoring the stabs of pain in his chest as he approached The Rookery with sure, quick strides, convinced that if he slowed down, he'd lose his momentum.
That can't happen.
Efficiency was his ally right now and exhaustion was the enemy.
Keep moving forward.
The Hyūga slipped into the guesthouse, passing swiftly up the stairs and along the level of the rooms towards the one Shikamaru was holed up in, strategising. Not slowing his pace, Neji twisted the handle sharply and shoved the door at the same moment it was tugged open from the other side.
Not again!
Neji's eyes flew wide.
The Hyūga froze, jerking to a halt without releasing the door. Unfortunately, Shikamaru did exactly the same thing, which caused the door to jolt sharply in one direction then abruptly in the other.
A loud crack was followed by a dull clang against Neji's headband.
Then silence.
For an awkward moment, the door hovered ajar between them.
Neither made a sound.
Neji stared at the grain of the wood, as if trying to see Shikamaru through it.
Further silence…
"Lets pretend…" Neji eventually said, "…that this didn't just happen."
Another awkward pause held before Shikamaru's voice drifted through.
"Did you hear that crack? Yeah? That was my fucking head."
Neji felt a sudden upsurge of laughter fluttering around in his chest, desperate to rise up and tumble from his lips in a husky flurry. He swallowed it down by clearing his throat.
"If it makes you feel any better, I got the rebound."
"On your god damned headband."
Neji bit back a chuckle. "I have warned you about this."
"You better stay that side of the door, Hyūga."
Neji smiled, but remained unmoving – yet he couldn't resist the opportunity to drop his next words. "You got beat by a door, Shikamaru? Did it draw blood?"
Very slowly, Shikamaru's fingers slipped around the crack in the door, drawing it back to reveal the Nara's deadpan face, his eyes lazily narrowed as he rubbed at his brow.
"You plan this shit, don't you?" he said.
Neji held a deceptively calm expression, but his eyes danced with the laughter he was barely holding in. "If it makes you feel better."
Shikamaru stared at him for a moment and then the Nara's lips laced that cunning smirk which was more than a little unnerving when one could read the scheming behind it. Neji arched a brow, uncertain how to respond but prepared for anything.
"You look nervous," Shikamaru chuckled, dropping his hand as he stepped forward, forcing Neji to move back a pace into the hallway.
"All these knocks to your head have damaged your brain if you think that," Neji returned, genuine amusement ruining his attempt to be arrogant.
Shikamaru released a low, throaty chuckle that was almost a purr. Neji found himself distracted by the strangely seductive sound. It shouldn't have sounded that way.
Has he always laughed like that?
His attention was redirected to the click of the door as the shadow-nin shut it behind him. The amusement slid from Neji's face, replaced by a questioning glance at the door.
"You're done?" the Hyūga asked.
"Yeah," Shikamaru nodded, leaning back against the wood with a sigh. "Just need to talk through some crap with you and Kitori …then fill the others in."
"They have retrieved the weapons as well," Neji nodded, his gaze straying from the door back to Shikamaru. "Hopefully that will give you a better indication of what we're up against."
"Can't be worse than bird parts exploding all over me, right? I'll account for the weapons, though I kind of pre-empted some of it, I got the rest covered."
Neji smiled faintly. It never ceased to amaze him how Shikamaru could skim through maps and annotations with an almost irritated lack of interest, then crab his hands, sit back and orchestrate the kind of martial masterpieces that put military commanders to shame – and in so short a span of time.
"So, you gonna play mediator?" Shikamaru tilted his head towards the stairs.
"Mediator?" Neji echoed, turning automatically to step alongside the shadow-nin as they moved down the corridor.
"Yeah. Wouldn't want me to 'antagonise' her, right?"
Neji glanced sidelong at the Nara. "I don't understand your problem with her."
Shikamaru shrugged, not offering a response as he slipped down the stairs before Neji could ask again. The Hyūga let it go, following two steps behind as he turned his thoughts towards other matters, gauging the time it would take to brief the team and the Tsubasa shinobi Kitori had delegated to assist them.
That should allow enough time to—!
A violent pain speared through his chest, lancing straight to his shoulder.
Neji gasped sharply, snapping a hand out to grip the banister.
He'd have pitched forward if Shikamaru hadn't swayed around and stepped up in a smooth, subtle movement that caused their shoulders to lock, acting as a crutch without appearing to. The stairway was narrow enough that it would appear to anyone else as if they'd brushed shoulders while crossing paths.
Kami…not now…
Neji didn't even hear the soft chatter of voices below, his focus locked on breathing through the pain. It felt like he'd been skewered by a hot poker straight through the ribs. He tried to suck in air against the sharp stabs.
I…can't breathe…
"Easy…" Shikamaru murmured calmly against Neji's ear. "Back up a few steps."
"I'm fine…" Neji hissed, his fingers tightening against the banister, a humiliated rage crawling through him.
"Unless you want the damned twenty questions drill from Naruto, you'll back up, now." Shikamaru's hand slid to his hip, gripping firmly. "I've got you, just move."
Neji closed his eyes, not sure whether the loss of control over his body was worse than the pain it was in. Keeping his rigid hold on the banister, he did as instructed, if only to avoid the Uzumaki's interference. He backed up a few steps, feeling Shikamaru moving concurrently. The moment they reached a floor level, he felt the Nara press forward and shift them away from the stairs, the meagre privacy of a hallway serving as the only option.
Stop…
He leaned back against the wall, dragging in shallow breaths as he reached for his chest, feeling Shikamaru grip his wrist.
"Don't," the Nara frowned.
Neji scowled, bringing up his other hand to shove Shikamaru back a step, allowing him to double over with a ragged gasp, shuddering against the urge to cough.
Stop. Stop. Stop…
He felt hands sliding up his arms to his shoulders, straightening him up and thudding him back against the wall.
"Easy, take it slow…" Shikamaru's palms came to rest either side of him, the Nara's arms bracketing him against the support of the wall.
Weak…I am not weak…
Neji was about to growl the words out, but lost them in the effort to simply breathe instead. The sharp stabs receded to that dull pain, the barest trace of a dizzy spell fading away before it could grip him.
"Neji…" Shikamaru's voice caused his eyes to flicker open.
He caught the steady gaze of the shadow-nin with a frown before glancing down, raising his hand between their bodies towards his chest. He found his voice as Shikamaru made to stop him again.
"Don't…don't interfere, Nara."
Shikamaru's jaw tightened. "That's a temporary fix."
"That's…all I need…right now…" Neji breathed out raggedly. "Don't…interfere…"
"Neji…"
"I know what I'm doing…"
Shikamaru shook his head, the muscles of his jaw flexing stubbornly.
Don't do this…not now…
Neji forced whatever frustration he felt into his eyes, skewering the shadow-nin with a pained glare. They didn't have time for a deadlock and they both knew it. Another muscle twitched in Shikamaru's jaw before his dark eyes screwed shut. It was a look Neji had never seen before – one of some private torment – and it took his breath faster than the twinges in his chest.
Why…?
He shook his head. "Shikamaru …"
The shadow-nin's fingers gnarled against the wall before the Chūnin viciously shoved himself away.
He said nothing.
He didn't have to.
Instead, Shikamaru simply turned his back and braced a shoulder to the wall, acting as a screen between Neji and the entrance to the hallway.
Eliminating the risk of anyone witnessing what happened next.
Neji located the bruised points on his chest...charged the tips of his fingers with a dangerous surge of chakra…tilted his head back against the wall…closed his eyes…and thanked whatever Gods existed for his high threshold for pain...

"Man, that's gotta hurt when it hits you," Naruto muttered, shaking his head.
"You're probably dead before it gets the chance to hurt, Naruto," Sakura said, staring at the weapons laid out.
They were designed to destroy through swift and silent dismemberment, curving in and cutting through like mobile talons, covering all angles and levels; an impressive, if not macabre set of weapons.
Crafted for an almost inescapable kill.
Neji traced his tired eyes over the talon-shaped designs, recalling the attack of these scythes as they'd come whirring through the air. Co-ordinated to be used in an all-in-one attack, almost like a flock of blades; the irony wasn't lost on the Hyūga, but it didn't make the situation any less morbid.
Neji blinked slowly, drawing a quiet breath that he let seep softly between his lips. He felt Shikamaru's eyes turn briefly towards him, but didn't return the glance. He felt open enough as it was, without those sharp eyes reading more than he had the strength to give away at the moment.
God don't look at me that way.
Especially with the others present; they were all seated on the ground, ringed around the low table where the Tsubasa weapons were laid out. Neji scanned the group as all eyes turned toward Shikamaru – except for Akamaru – for some odd reason the canine was staring at him.
"So are we gonna pick up their trail from where they popped up?" Naruto asked, lifting his eyes from the weapons.
"No," Shikamaru replied. "A direct search and destroy isn't gonna work with these guys."
"Why not?" Kiba frowned, jerking his thumb towards Akamaru as the dog gazed quietly at Neji. "Akamaru here can scent them out no problem."
Shikamaru glanced over without bothering to shift any other muscle. "Use your head. They have the advantage of stealth, superior knowledge of the terrain and a complex, deep-ground tunnel system."
"A system they probably have well-defended and excellently concealed," Neji added, his gaze back on the weapons.
"They'll run circles around us," Shikamaru finished.
"Okay," Kiba sighed, picking up a quill-shaped kunai to examine it. "So just how badly are we screwed?"
Shikamaru shifted, raising a knee as a prop for his arm. "Despite their advantages, their deep-ground system and the way they operate has its flaws."
Naruto prodded at a scythe. "Man, tell me you've worked those out."
"What the hell do you think I've been doing for the past three hours?"
Naruto grinned. "Heh…okay, so if we're not gonna 'directly' search and destroy, or whatever, then what the hell are we gonna do?"
"Find their supply route," Shikamaru said. "There's no way they can be maintaining their underground system without support from above. They need a source for food and ammunition."
Sakura's eyes brightened across the table. "Benefactors?"
Neji nodded, finally glancing up from the weapons towards the kunoichi. "While it's no stretch of the imagination to assume they've been able to cultivate food beneath the surface, there is no way they can grow weapons."
"Especially fancy aerodynamic scythes." Shikamaru swept a hand idly above the table, indicating the weapons. "These talon-shaped shuriken don't come cheap. According to Kitori, there is only one major supplier in Hanegakure."
Neji heard Sakura hum, drawing his attention across to the pink-haired Chūnin and away from Kiba's dog as Akamaru stared at him. He didn't even want to know why the animal was doing that – and had been since they'd started.
"I find it hard to believe that Kitori and Ozuku-sama haven't already interrogated the supplier," Sakura said, redirecting Naruto's hand when the Uzumaki made to reach for a shuriken.
"They have," Neji said. "He is under constant surveillance, as is his shop. But there is no evidence to suggest he has any involvement with the smuggling of these weapons."
"But if he does," Shikamaru looked up. "He's doing it in a pretty underhanded way."
"So then where does that leave us?" Chōji asked.
Shikamaru snorted. "It leaves us doing their investigative crap for them. One way or another, supplies are leaving that shop. The guy who makes the weaponry is always watched, so it's pretty easy to assume that the rebels have people on the inside that purchase from him regularly."
"But would that not show up on their sales records?" Lee pitched in. "Surely they would know if someone was buying such a large amount of weaponry."
"Not if they had several different people acting as smugglers at different intervals. But, what's both a drag and an advantage is that these weapons are only sold in big batches."
"Oh yeah?" Kiba frowned, watching Akamaru shift over towards Neji. "So where does this leave us again?"
"Planting bugs," Neji said, glancing down as Akamaru settled beside him.
"Kikaichū bugs," Shikamaru clarified, smirking at Naruto's face. "Shino gave Neji a stash of them. We'll plant them on the weaponry batches and whoever our mule is this time, they'll lead us straight to the supply route, or at least to one of the rebel's hidey-holes."
Naruto blinked. "Hidey-holes?"
"Ugh…" Shikamaru smacked his face into his hand. "And that was stupid simple…"
The words had Neji's lips curving.
"Oi!" Naruto scowled.
Neji shook his head but glanced down when Akamaru's chin nudged into the crook of his elbow, the large white muzzle resting there calmly.
Strange…
He moved to distract himself from the odd behaviour of the dog, seeking Naruto's gaze across the table to direct the Uzumaki's glower away from Shikamaru.
"Look, the rebels must have stash points spread throughout their field of operation. It's the only way they can coordinate their attacks without compromising their headquarters," Neji paused, watching Naruto process with a nod. "It's how guerrilla warfare works. They can't risk having all their supplies in one place."
"So we need to locate one of these stash points," Shikamaru tagged on, shrugging as if it was obvious. "That'll give us the access we need to infiltrate their system or isolate one of their people. That's all we need at this stage."
Naruto grinned. "Nice work, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru arched a brow. "It's a drag, but it's the least troublesome way to do it. The worst case scenario results in a lot of explosive crap that I'd rather avoid."
"Like what?"
"Like a lot of explosive crap that I'd rather avoid."
Before Naruto could roll his eyes at the deadpan response, Neji spoke up. "Such as turning their tunnel system into a colossal pipe bomb."
"Whoa," Naruto blinked.
"That sounds better," Kiba smirked.
"Yeah and faster," Naruto snickered.
Shikamaru stared lazily. "Lucky for you guys I like to take things slow and not die in the process."
"Shikamaru," Sakura frowned. "Not to sound pessimistic, but what if the supply-route plan doesn't work?"
"Already covered. I've got another three game plans that involve locating their vents and water sources. Let's just stick with the first strategy, alright?"
Naruto whistled. "Four strategies already?"
"Not counting blowing stuff up," Kiba grinned.
"Nice Shikamaru, how long did that take you again?"
"Not as long as it's gonna take me to crawl into bed. I'm wiped."
It was probably an understatement, given the tightness Neji could detect around the Nara's eyes. For all the times he'd disrupted Shikamaru's attempts to sleep, it was another unforeseen irony that he'd suddenly feel the urge to ensure the shadow-nin rested.
As if sensing his subtle gaze, Shikamaru glanced up and across.
Their eyes met and something instantly changed in the depths of the Nara's dormant, drowsy irises. They gained a strange edge of intensity, as if bevelled to a sharpness that threatened to probe too deep.
It was just a fleeting look.
It lasted no more than a few seconds.
But even when Shikamaru blinked and immediately reassumed a familiar half-assed look of boredom, Neji was left feeling as if the Nara had just grazed the surface of a wound.
Ridiculous…
The prod of Akamaru's muzzle against his side drew his focus down to the dog. He gently touched his fingertips to the canine's nose, guiding it away from his ribs with a hum before flicking his gaze to Kiba and Hinata.
"Hinata, Kiba, I trust you two will know how to handle Shino's insects."
Hinata snapped her eyes up from Akamaru, nodded sharply. "Yes."
"Good to know." Shikamaru pressed a palm to the table, rising onto his feet in a listless sway. "We're done here, everyone rest up. Got another crappy, early start."
Neji scanned the circle of shinobi a final time, searching for confusion or questions before rising from his kneel. The team began to file out the door one by one. Neji turned to follow, frowning when his movement was cut short by Akamaru nuzzling at his arm, circling around him with a whine.
What on earth are you doing?
Neji glanced down at the canine, not sure what to do other than brush his fingertips against the dog's head in confused acknowledgement before he attempted to step away. Akamaru caught his sleeve with a growl, tugging firmly and not letting go.
Not now…
"Kiba," Neji said tightly, glancing up toward the Inuzuka.
Kiba set down the weapon he'd been examining and propped his hands on his hips, arching a brow at his canine. "Akamaru, what's up buddy?"
The dog cocked his head up at Neji, not releasing the Hyūga's sleeve. The Jōnin frowned slightly, suddenly less confused and more uncomfortable with the precognitive glean in Akamaru's gaze. The soft whine caused him to glance sharply at Kiba, dropping his tone.
"Kiba."
"Hey, don't give me that crap – he's not my pet you know," Kiba frowned, though he looked just as confused as Neji had a moment ago.
"I don't care what you rank him as. Call him off," Neji said coolly, not wanting to give the Inuzuka a chance to figure out what Akamaru may have been picking up on. "Do it now."
"Yeesh, calm down," Kiba stepped over, his eyes fixed on Akamaru. "You should work on your attitude, Hyūga."
"You should work on your dog-handling capabilities, Inuzuka, or lack thereof."
"What the fuck is your problem?" Kiba snarled, his eyes flashing as they snapped back up.
Neji's eyes hardened in response. "Your inability to control your canine is presently my problem."
"Wanna have a bigger problem in your face, Hyūga?" Kiba growled, taking a feral stance as he leaned forward.
"Hey, hey," Chōji frowned, stepping over to placate the ripples of aggression. "No need to fight."
"Tell it to Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass," Kiba growled.
Neji arched a brow dryly. "If said stick is a reference to having control, I assume yours is what you play 'fetch' with?"
Kiba snarled and lunged, or at least he tried to, but found he couldn't. Neji dropped his gaze to the Inuzuka's elongated shadow, following the stretch of black across to where Shikamaru lazed against the doorframe, holding the jutsu with a bored, somewhat irritated expression.
Neji could read something else in his eyes – a simmer just beneath the surface.
"You both need to shut up and settle down," the Nara said, his gaze shifting between the two of them. "We don't have time for this petty playground crap."
Neji grit his teeth, his anger at being reproached pulsing a fresh wave of tension into the room, only he turned the tide toward Shikamaru by glaring across at the shadow-nin.
The bastard didn't flinch.
Shikamaru just let the tension roll off him like water, completely unaffected.
Tch.
Neji snorted, falling back a step from Kiba when Akamaru moved over to the Inuzuka with a whine. Neji ignored the look that Kiba shot him and turned towards the door; he brushed past Shikamaru without a backward glance, moving out the room to drive his steps back towards The Rookery, anger at losing his composure giving way to a crippling exhaustion with every stride.
I will not lose.

The night air was as sharp and cold as Neji's face, frosting before his eyes as he seethed his breaths out.
I am not weak.
Neji cut like an icy draught through The Rookery, taking a quick, angry path straight to the guestroom. He smacked the door open with a violent shove, hearing it swing back on its hinges without slamming shut.
It thudded in a dull clap.
Neji turned. He watched Shikamaru calmly ease the door off his palm, calmly step into the dim room and calmly shut the door behind him.
Calm. Composed. Controlled.
Everything the Hyūga needed but kept having ripped away.
No…
Neji immediately reached for his anger…
Immediately searched for something to drive Shikamaru back…
Immediately moved to pull up a brutal defence…
The second he did, the Nara locked their eyes.
And just like a kunai, Shikamaru cut straight through the tension, straight through the bullshit, straight through the defence Neji tried to slam up...and pierced the Hyūga with a look of merciless intelligence and angry concern that caused Neji to snag a breath as if he'd been stabbed. The look in those dark eyes sliced away his defence like a layer of skin, leaving him raw and open.
The Hyūga turned away, his voice as hoarse as he felt. "I told you not to look at me that way…"
Shikamaru closed the distance between them slowly, like a shadow stealing across the dark room, the only illumination being the soft streams of moonlight filtering through the windows and balcony. Falling like silver bars across the room.
Like cage bars.
Stop it.
For every step the Nara took forward, Neji took another away, until they were circling, almost like predators in a face-off. All the while Neji felt those damned eyes on him, calling him without words to return the gaze, to step onto the territory where lines didn't exist, just imitations of control.
"Stop it," Neji growled.
"I'm not trying to attack you," Shikamaru said evenly, still moving, tightening the circle they created as they looped around the room. "Stop running from me."
Neji halted abruptly, planting his feet as pride pushed fire into his eyes.
Shikamaru stopped at the same moment, a few paces away.
Close enough that he could reach out.
Don't…
"You can't keep doing this, Neji. Kiba couldn't read it, but Akamaru could. A few more minutes in there and he'd have caught on. You can't keep holding it in."
Neji scowled, denial drawing his words into a whisper. "Don't ask me to let it out…"
"Why?"
"Because the last time I let something like this out…someone almost died for it…"
Shikamaru paused, humming knowingly. "Hinata…"
Neji fell back a pace, drawing them back into that predatory orbit of each other as they began to move once more, dragging up volatile territory with every word and step.
"How human was I then, Nara?" Neji seethed. "I'd have killed her if they hadn't stopped me…"
"That was three years ago…unless you haven't let that anger go."
Neji hesitated, his blood curdling. "Regardless of what I feel or think…that does not extend to her…"
"So who does it extend to? The rest of your clan?"
Neji's step faltered, giving Shikamaru an opening to tighten the noose, but Neji slipped from it like a ghost between worlds, shifting in and out of the arena that their walking circle created.
"Don't make me extend it to you, Shikamaru."
He watched a faint smile lace across the Nara's lips. "I've already given you the chance to do that, more than once…and despite coming close, you haven't choked me yet."
"Is that what you really want?"
"Want?" Shikamaru parroted.
Neji snorted bitterly. "You want me to hurt people who don't deserve it…because I can't control myself…"
"That's what this is all about, huh? Control?" Shikamaru stopped and turned, forcing them to move the other way around.
"I am controlling it," Neji growled, voice as hard as the sharp cut of his features.
"Controlling what?"
"…What I need to..."
What I must move beyond.
"Your emotions."
Neji stopped walking, standing utterly still.
His pause left him half cast in shadow and half bathed in a wash of eerie light. Like a phantom being drawn from the darkness by the very shadows it had lost itself in – as paradoxical and ironic as everything else that existed between him and the shadow-nin facing him now.
"Don't you dare try to analyse me like some cheap board game, Shikamaru."
"No comparison, Hyūga. I enjoy Shogi. I don't enjoy doing this."
"Then stop."
"I can't stop." The Nara tilted his head, taking a single step forward. "I was wrong when I said you once hid behind a logical anger against the split in your clan…truth is…you never buried the hatchet with them, did you?"
Neji backed up a pace, moving out of the evanescent caress of light.
Stop it…
Shikamaru paused and rolled his step, causing their circling movement to pick up again as they passed in and out of shadow and moonlight, the slats of milky illumination feeling more and more like cage bars in the shadow-swathed room.
"Two months ago something happened," Shikamaru said softly. "Was it to do with Hiashi Hyūga?"
"What the hell would you know about my motives for anything…"
"So tell me I'm wrong."
Neji continued to move back for every advancing step. Then he realised that he was retreating and angrily twisted with a sway at his hips to swerve their path. Shikamaru cut him off, moving with a shift as fluid as his shadows.
"Tell me I'm wrong, Neji," he pressed, his voice a little harder. "But fucking tell me something!"
Neji snarled at the push and reacted, his lip curling back as he took a dangerous step forward. "Don't try to get inside my head, Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru's voice raised in a shout, "Tell me I'm wrong then, dammit!"
"Fuck you!" Neji snapped, driving forward to force Shikamaru back a step. "You have no idea!"
"No shit, but I'm trying to!"
Why!
"You can't ever understand!"
"So make me!"
They drew toe-to-toe, almost crashing, hovering close enough to strike, but neither moving to attack beyond words.
"God damn you, Nara!"
"Just say it, Neji!"
"Why!" Neji felt a cold, wretched kind of anger twisting the chords in his throat. "I don't want you to fucking understand!"
Shikamaru's eyes flared. "Maybe I don't need to understand! Maybe I just need to know!"
"Know what!" Neji roared straight into his face. "That I train with Hiashi every day and see my father looking back at me!"
Shikamaru's eyes widened.
Neji froze, staring unseeingly.
In the wake of those slipped words, his entire body crystallized in a rigid lock that not even Shikamaru's gaze could shake him from.
"Neji…"
Neji tensed up, as if ice were frosting into his blood. "Every day…he never stops haunting me…"
"Neji..."
He felt the sweep of fingers along his jaw and angrily slanted his head away from the touch. "Don't you dare…I don't want your pathetic pity."
"So what do you want?"
Neji shook his head, trying to shake off the chill that had gripped him. "Like that matters. I'm working with what I have. I accept it."
He heard Shikamaru snort. "What a load of crap. If you accepted it, you wouldn't be doing this to yourself."
"Fine," Neji seethed as he slowly tracked his gaze back up to the Nara's eyes. "So I grit my teeth and bear it. What difference does it make?"
"Every bit of damn difference," Shikamaru growled. "Unless your final goal is to be dead."
"I have no intention of dying, Nara."
"Oh, really?" Shikamaru challenged, eyebrow arching in that infuriating way. "I'll remember that the next time you're coughing up blood."
"Go to hell, Shikamaru!" Neji hissed, trying to spit venom into his words, but they came out bitter rather than poisonous. "I never asked for your intrusive interference."
"Yeah, you didn't have to ask." Shikamaru met his look evenly, but his voice fell quieter, shadowed by something indecipherable. "Doesn't that tell you something?"
God…Stop…
"Yes," Neji leaned in. "It tells me you're an intrusive, interfering bastard."
Shikamaru reacted as if stung. "And you're a fucking troublesome pain in the ass!"
"Then back off!" Neji snarled, searching for the quickest way to batter the shadow-nin back with his words. "You used to claim to be a lazy coward. So do what you're good at and keep your head out of my business before I make you regret ever interfering!"
Neji almost started in disbelief when Shikamaru leaned in, putting himself in lethal range of a severely pissed off aggressor barely in control. The shadow-nin stood right in the line of fire that Neji was struggling to hold back. The Hyūga's expression shimmered with confusion, like a mirage caught between reflecting his pain and his anger.
"What the hell are you doing!" he snarled.
"Go ahead and make me regret it," Shikamaru said quietly, his voice raw but no longer angry.
Neji stared in horror.
Shikamaru gazed back. "Do it."
Neji swallowed, torn down by confusion at this horrible display of trust.
He shook his head against it, needing Shikamaru's anger, not…whatever this was…
"Go ahead," Shikamaru repeated, his voice even softer now. "I won't stop you."
"Gods, you fool…do you even think that you could?"
"I already told you I'm not afraid of you, Neji."
Neji stepped back, his throat working against the tightness gripping it. "Just walk away and don't give me a reason to change your mind."
Shikamaru's lips curved faintly, but there was no mockery in it, not even the barest trace of something condescending. Neji had never wanted to be attacked more in his life…he didn't know how to defend himself against this…
He dragged in a painful breath, exhaling his words on a hoarse whisper. "God just go…"
Shikamaru didn't go.
He took a step closer, forcing Neji to skewer him with a glare.
A glare that had no effect other than to cause Shikamaru's eyes to soften into a look that threatened Neji more than any lethal glare ever could.
"Don't," Neji whispered, drawing every muscle into a rigid tense against the look in those eyes. "Damn you, don't look at me that way. Just go."
"Yeah…" Shikamaru closed the remaining distance between them; the forced hint of a smile not distracting from the conflict in his eyes. "I really should."
Neji felt that aching wound, deep down inside, rip a little more at the frayed seams.
"You bastard…" Neji's voice dropped into the same exhausted surrender as his face, tired of the anger and everything else. "Why the hell won't you just go?"
He sensed Shikamaru's hand move, then felt the slow trace of the Nara's fingertips sliding along his shoulder to the back of his neck, that easy, familiar caress that had become so natural to them. Shikamaru cinched their foreheads with a gentle tap, causing Neji's eyes to drift shut.
"Why the hell do you think?" He felt Shikamaru's breath against his lips, carrying the words in a murmur. "Because I'm your friend."
Neji felt a bitter ache in his throat. "I don't need you to be my friend, Shikamaru."
"Then tell me what the hell you need."
Neji made the mistake of opening his eyes before he could reach up to close Shikamaru's. Their gazes met and the raw connection that fused between them sucked the air from his lungs, snatching it away with a sharpness that came from a different kind of pain – and a different kind of need…one knotted deep down inside him…trapped under the weight of endless chains locked around parts of himself that Shikamaru kept getting closer to…
"Let me in…"
Neji pulled his head back a little.
The moonlight gleamed off his headband.
The soft flash reflected in the depths of Shikamaru's eyes, cutting a slash of silver across the dark orbs. Like a warning line…a final boundary…a point of no return…
They crossed it at the same moment.
Their mouths brushed with a whisper of shaking breath…lips rubbed and stroked… pressed and finally parted beneath the slick dip of tongues...which caressed in a slow, sultry roll that turned their heartbeats to thunder.
And in the core of his stirring need, Neji felt the rising of a storm…
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Break to Breathe